All language subtitles for Party.Down.S02E05.Steve.Guttenbergs.Birthday.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Wow look at you?
It's new Ron.

It's new, new Ron?

Being locked in
that coffin, Henry,

I was mano y mano
with some heavy shit.

Like what is a life?
Who am I?

And how high
were you during this?

Unimportant.

Don't do grass.
Get high on life.

The cereal? I didn't know
that you could smoke cereal.

No, existence.

I was drifting in darkness
and I heard a voice.

"Only dead fish
go with the flow."

The voice of Sarah Palin?

Or maybe God,
or Jesus.

Budhda, anyone of those guys.

And I went out,
got a hair cut, Joined AA,

got a new new backup shirt.

Don't drift through life.

My take-away from being locked
in a coffin while high.

My take-away, don't get
into a coffin while high.

Ohh.

So you didn't see anything?

No. are you sure
this is even the right House?

That's what it says here.

[ horn honking ]

Hi.
What's all this?

Ahh, Party Down catering?

You booked us-

Shit.

Oh my god.
Did you guys see

"Three Men and a Little Lady"?

That's Ted Danson!

That's actually,
Steve Guttenberg.

Not Jewishy much.

No wonder he changed
it to Danson.

My fiftieth was tonight,

but my friends threw me a
surprise party on Friday.

and I totally forgot
to cancel you.

Kind a have a two day
cancellation policy.

So, I eat the deposit.
Yeah.

Add what about the food
and everything?

Probably toss it.

Ah man, that's--
that's a waste.

That feels wrong.

Hey, it's still my birthday,
I'm not doing anything.

You know what, Invite your
friends, we'll have a party!

Oh no--
Yeah.

Unless you've got other plans.

Oh my god.

Other plans,
are you kidding me?

Partyin' with the Gutt!

This place is friggin' amazing.
It is.

I'm totally gonna
have a place like this.

Yes, and I'm full,

thank you.

I can't believe I'm really
talking to you.

Oh aren't you sweet?

My daughter's an actress,

so I'm going to pester
you for secrets

on how to be an actor.

No secret.
It's like the joke.

Guy gets into
a cab and says,

"how do I get
to Carnegie Hall?"

and the driver
answers "Practice!"

Right, practice.

The driver's deaf!

Oh where are my manners
this is my friend Mrs. Gomez.

You guys appear
to be very close.

Well now I've just
moved here.

and I'm making
new friends.

and Mrs. Go-- Fulgenicia,
is my neighbor across the hall.

That's nice.

"Boys from Brazil."

That's right.

Are you from Brazil?

No.

Hey.

Nice set-up, huh.

Bet you must be thinking
right now,

what a terrible mistake
it was to quit acting.

Well did I happen
to mention that my place

has a view of a Taco Bell?

Did I happen to mention
that this guy

has got Herbie fully loaded

on DVD and on BluRay.

Point, Guttenberg.

Shrimp?

How's it feeling,
New Ron?

New New Ron.

Getting my chops back, Henry.

Ah tonight's gonna
be a good night.

Yeh I can't wait to
see that feedback card.

He wanted to work
the party anyway.

Who am I to say no?

Right.

Oh, holy shit.

What?

"Sundown Strip."
Yeh, what is that?

This Indie I did years ago.

I had this tiny part
as a troubled teen.

Hey, you guys know German?

What's "Ein Rand?"
Like, "A Rand--?"

Ayn Rand, the writer? Is that
what you're talking about?

Yeah, that sounds
kind of familiar.

Ayn Rand, wrote about how
awesome awesome people are.

Right.

Who's that little waif?

That is Colette.

She's in my scene
study class.

Really cool.

She's like super deep-

Like you?
Yeah.

I really want
to bang her.

A man of fine taste.

Ah, here, here--

...Pert,'93 Barolo.

Thank you so much.

This goes great
with cheese, and duck.

I can see that, yeah.

Hey, hey, don't touch!

That's art.

This is art?

Joseph Kootz.

That's pure iceberg water.

Costs ten grand
a year just to fly in

new ice from Greenland.

That's a lot of money.

Okay, you'll be all right, yeah.
Yeah.

Kootz.

Oh God, this just
takes me back.

Um, I was a caterer,

a waiter,
yeah I did everything.

So you're actors,
I presume?

Oh, yeah.

Well, he was, but-

Didn't work out?

Well kind of.

Well let me
tell you something,

Those days,
working gigs,

making squat, just a
bunch of struggling actors

goofing around,
best time of my life.

Oh, love it.

Better than when you were one of
the biggest stars in America?

Better than now?

Well, maybe
not the best time.

Hey Ron, do we
have any more cheese?

I got it, I got it.

That's my job, I got it.

Don't worry.

I'm not worried.

Should I be?

No Henry, as I said,

I am back and
everything is going great.

Okay, I thought you
were back in AA?

I am.

Okay Ron, if any of this
is making you uncomfortable.

Not at all, no, no, no.

You sure?

Yes, I'm totally copacetic.

All right.

Travis? It's Ron, from AA.

I'm at a party in Sherman Oaks,

I could really
use your help.

What the fuck,

see he totally just
went off on it.

He said it was
just a bunch of "technobabble"

he didn't understand--

Yeah, the only words
that aren't technobabble

to a producer
are coke and whore.

So, you guys actors, too?

Do we look that stupid?

No, we're writers.

This is my writing
partner.

Kent Gerbels.

and no it's not spelled like
the Nazi propaganda minister.

It's like the rodent.

But with an "e."

Instead of the "I."
Huh.

So, what you got there?

We gave our script to a
producer who was interested

and then he gave us these notes
you just took from me--

and you're gonna read them.

"Inert and without
humanity ..."

Yeah, it's just like
he read the words,

he didn't get the big picture.

In one ear,
out one ear.

Let me ask you something?

Have you ever had
anything produced?

Yeah, we wrote
"I am Legend."

I just work catering to keep

in touch with the common man.

What I'm getting at is--

Have you ever heard
your words read aloud?

No.

In the theater,
where I come from,

writing and acting
are intertwined.

The first play I did,
off-Broadway thing

called "Screw You?"

Totally rewritten
in rehearsals.

So I was thinking that
since we have time,

and expert
thespians at the ready.

We would
read a scene

from your comrades script

and see if we can
give'em some insight.

All right.

Yeah, okay.

Mr. Guttenberg,
I don't wanna do this anymore,

I don't like it.
That's fear talking, Roman.

No, it's honesty.
- Really?

Henry you are our
Captain DuKlark,

Casey, you are Slave Girl,

What a shock.

Kyle, you are Krond.

Krond.

Colette,
you are BORP-7.

Wait, can I be
the robot, please.?

It's not a "robot,"
it's a biocybernetic organism.

Can I be that?

What do we do, Ted?

Ah my beautiful little birds,

You are
our audience,

Without whom,

This would all have no point.

Mr. Guttenberg,
can I--

I don't think
this is gonna help

I think we should
call it quits.

I don't think there's no point
in doing this.

I know, I understand,
this is scary.

and you feel
vulnerable.

But if you want
to be a true writer,

you have to commit
to your work.

If you don't share
it with the world,

you're only a writer
in your head.

"Making art
is an act of courage?"

Do you know who said that?

Morrison.

Steve Guttenberg?

Yes!

"No Risk, No Reward."

Let's be brave.

Come on you're
like a tiger.

A lion strong
with your mane.

Come on! huh!

Okay my cast prepares,

Interior Bridge,
and action.

Reading on deuterium levels.

7 - 0 - 5
point 2, captain.

Your ship will never
with stand

the quantum flux between
a binary star,

What's that?

When like two stars
kind of like form.

Not important,
keep the flow, going.

It will in a Godel
space-time field.

Without negative energy
synthesis?

We reverse
the tachyon cannon,

generate
an Alubierre Warp.

Quantum tunnel through
the kelkey horizon--

and form a naked
singularity.

DuKlark...

What're you doing
on the bridge?

You should be
in a surgi-tube.

I was scared.
I heard explosions.

If the coordinates
you stole

from your boyfriend
aren't accurate,

you'll hear more.

Because this ship will
be totally atomized.

Boyfriend?

He's a slave trader.

I was nothing to him
but merchandise.

Fine merchandise,
eh, DuKlark?

The best.

If we don't make it,

I don't use
the word "don't"

He pushes her away roughly,

Just-- I got it,
Sorry, sorry.

I just wanted to thank you
for saving my people.

"Dies?"

For real?

[ unintelligible ]

Juliet died.

Seven, check her readings.

Life functions
terminated.

Cauchy horizon
passed at deuteri.

level 7.001.

A statistical anomaly.

What you call luck.

Is it?

And...scene!

I thought it was
just great!

I love nautical
stories.

Do we have to discuss it?

Courage, young writer.

This is the crucible!

It's like previews.

My character seemed
to lack depth.

Yeah, it was a robot.

And DuKlark's kind of a dick.

Yeah, slave girl
saves his life.

and he just makes crass
jokes to his nemesis.

Crass? that wasn't crass--

He said that she's the best-

Yeah, you are
the best space whore.

Thank you.
Thanks.

You know I feel like it could
have been more, deep--

Okay.

I think it was
really interesting

how neither
of the alpha males

could see past
their gender construct

of femaleness

to relate
to her humanity.

You know it was like, they can
only relate to each other.

Yeah, it's like they were
both um, like...gay.

I thought of them as Jungian
shadow figures,

Oh I just started Jung.

Have you read
Man and his Symbols?

Oh my god yes I have.

You guys I just ordered it.

I can't wait.

All right, I won't
ruin it for you.

Okay thanks.

Hey um--

do you have any smart
shit I could say.

I just didn't feel it.

Oh sorry, It's not
Pat the Bunny.

You know,
I think that's it.

the missing element.

Heart.

It's hard sci-fi, Steve.

Are science fiction
and heart mutually exclusive?

One word answer.

"Cocoon."

Just give it another pass,
and we'll try it again.

You want me to
do that again?

I felt like I was
being hunted for sport.

Courage.
What'd we talk about?

No risk, no reward.

Okay, everyone.

Drink, relax, hit the jacuzzi,
whatever you want.

We'll reconvene
in half an hour.

For another reading!

Hey, what'd you do this weekend?

Oh I Hung out in
Steve Guttenberg's jacuzzi.

How badly do you want
to say that?

Yeah, but rain check.

Okay.

Wasn't really asking.

It's the singularity.

The theory that machines
will become conscious--

Like computers with souls.

Yeah.
Have you read Eckhart Tolle?

Yeah, of course kind
of what going for.

Yeah, that was what
I was thinking about.

Hey when you're done
trying to hit that,

do you think maybe
we can go re-write?

Let's do it, let's make it
happen I guess--

Geez man--
Motherfucker.

So little.

Hey You know, whole experience
really just makes me

think of
"This Said Zarathisis ."

By Neezshe.

(DOORBELL)
You mean, Nieztche?

It's actually
pronounced Neezsh.

It's German.

Hello,

Hey Steve.
Travis.

Hey Travis, come on in.

Is Ron around?
Travis.

Travis hey, Hi.

Your friend yeah?
Is a friend.

You said invite a friend.
Sure.

I'm so glad you
invited somebody.

Here you go.

You know who that is?

Yeah, Steve Guttenberg.

Come here for a second.

Thank you for coming.
No problem.

I've gone off the wagon
a few times myself.

Probably not a good idea,

to be hanging around
all this wine-

This is some nice shit
though.

I'm sure the temptation
to just have a taste

is driving you crazy.

I'm more of a
beer man, myself.

I actually need your
help with this.

I got a shrimp caught
in the filter

pump thingy,
and I can't get it out.

So, you're not drinking?

This is a work of art.

A Kootz.

and If the host finds
out I got a shrimp

caught in his Kootz,
Travis, please help me.

Can you tell
the difference?

They both taste,
just ...bad.

One's like rocks,
this one like dirt.

Okay, yes, yes,
maybe I taste dirt.

No, you got the rock.

So Lydia, you
were saying before

that you thought your
daughter was gonna be a star.

Oh, yes, my daughters'
is gonna become a star.

Success is a lifestyle
you need to prepare for.

You read in the tabloids
every day,

some shmuck hits it big
and falls to pieces

'cause he wasn't
ready for success.

Oh gosh.

Let's imagine, you
make millions of dollars.

What do you do?

I have millions of dollars?

I throw a big party
and I buy some new shoes

and Escapade loves horses,

so we could probably
get, like, a hundred?

Henry, what would you do with
your millions of dollars?

I'm floundering here.

Wow, I don't know
...fleet of blimps?

Oh that's such a good idea.

See, okay, that's
what I'm talking about

you've got to
educate yourself.

I was very, very lucky,
someone showed me the way.

I learned to live well.

Fine wine, clothing, art-

In fact,
have you got a second?

[ music playing ]

Here is Gerd Schlimt,
German expressionism.

I put it here to contrast these
very different views of nature.

One is pretty,
and one is ugly.

Yes!

There are many different
ways of seeing.

You are an expert.

Here is my little
Felix Graham.

Okay this is where I'm like, it
looks like a bunch of squiggles.

That's exactly what it is.

That's a picture
of a feeling.
Exactly.

Hm, Hm, Hm somebody's gonna
do well with their millions.

Millions?
I work at the airport.

You could find it.
In a bag.

Sure.

Miracles do happen.

Oh this is so exciting.

By George, I think
I'm getting it.

Ah that's the spirit.

Ah Henry, It's great,
isn't it?

Yeah.

It's Ian Spankler.

British.

I picked it up
for three hundred

Just before he took off.

Three hundred dollars?

Three hundred thousand.

He wants to have sex
with the porcupine,

but it's poking him.

Yes.

So what if Borp-7
was, like, wrestling

with some kind
of proto-soul-

Is that Henry?
What?

What were you watching?
What are you watching?

Weirdos.

Look, she's a robot.

No she's Bio-Cybernetic.

she has these Nanotech circuits

that can make her evolve.

The only reason
you're saying that

is because because you wanna
put your falis in Colette.

No I'm saying that because
what they said was right.

When Slave Girl dies,
it should be moving.

Know what'd be moving?

If there was a panda
and a kitty

on the Titanic
and they got cancer.

and fell in love,
that would be moving,

Let's put
that in script.

Can you relax man,
can we try this,

No risk, no reward,

whatever Steve Guttenberg said.

Try it, whatever.

Just don't sprain your
fingers selling out.

Can you fix it?

Diaguchi intake feeding
some kind of chick driven

Jap filter system,

I can't even
see the shrimp.

I can try,
but it's gonna be tricky,

Jesus Ron!

He's pouring
a '89 St. Emilion.

Ah yeah.

New pages!

Ron, more vino!

Oh yes Mr. Guttenberg.

Hey, where are my players!

Okay, I really appreciate
it, Travis.

Wine.

Oh hey, try this one.

Okay.
All right.

They'll like it.

Okay. We've got Krond.

Yes.

And the handsome
Captain DuKlark,

Ah yes.

The spectacular gorgeous
Slave girl,
Thanks.

and Borp-7.

Let's get it on it's feet!

Henry, what would
you say if I said,

I'm about to act your
ass into next week?

I'd say,
I'm retired.

So who gives a shit.

Well then I'd say you're
a massive enormous pussy?

Okay then I guess
I would say,

I could act you
under the table

with one feeling
tied behind my back.
- Oh really?

I'm tasting...sticks?

And rope?

Thank you.

Now my actors,
prepare,

"Interior, Bridge."
Action.

Captain. I'm worried.

Good, right off,
with the feelings.

They caught me,
what could I do?

About our deuterium levels?

Yeah, me too.

About you, sir.

Since when was worrying
part of your programming?

Coordinates set?

Thread a binary star?

You'll kill us all,
DuKlark.

Or is that what you want,
since she died?

Yeah, maybe it is.
Maybe I've--

Ahh--

What are you doing here?
I thought you were dead.

I had to know
if the coordinates worked.

I had to know that you
were safe.

If they work, it's because
you've saved us all.

Now get back in
the surgi-tube.

Her face's ruined,
she's of no use.

DuKlark, no!

Is that all she is to you?

A face?

What the fuck was that?

Dude, I'm acting?

Oh, awesome.

Okay, I'm back in.

Sir, chance
of survival is point 079--

She risked all.

So can we.

Engage!

Let's do it!

Ah sorry, the door was open.

Is Travis...

Yeah, go kitchen.

Okay Borp-7 fires
the tachyon cannon,

there's a space
warp thing, oh no.

We're clear.

Thank you for
saving my people.

No!

No, no, no-

Sir, her life readings.

What do you know about life?

I'm learning, sir.

What do you know
about life?

You saved the galaxy.

And...scene!

What a thrill ride!

Oh my god it was so sad
when the slave girl dies.

Right.

He loved her.

Humanity.

Heart. Drama.

God, great,

this is what
I love about theater!

You put yourself out there,
voila!

I loved when she said,
"I'm learning."

You know it's like she was
learning to learn.

Yeah, I can't
believe this guy

didn't want to put
that in there.

Why you gonna say that?
I didn't say that.

Yeah, it made me think
of Ayn Rand-

How so?

Hey have you seen
his art collection?

He has a Spankler.

of the dude fucking
the porcupine.

Yeah.
I love Spankler.

Oh you want me to show you,
it's right over there.

Oh yeah,
that'd be great.

It's a dude fucking
a porcupine.

It's a bad environment.

I know.
What are you doing here?

He's my sponsor,
he's helping me.

Who are you?

I'm Carlos.

I'm AA, too,
I'm here to help Travis.

Oh. Didn't you fix the pump?

I got the shrimp out,
but I'm too wasted

to re-attach the intake.

So they sent you
to attach it?

You called your sponsor
here to fix a fish tank?

It's art.

A Kootz-

Do you understand
what AA is actually for?

I thought I did.

You don't!

I should've been a movie star.

Yeah, hey, this isn't
going to be awkward, right?

That we're just
in our under panties?

No, no, no.

Nothing I haven't
seen before.

True.

Hey, so I saw your scene,

in that movie.

God, come on.

You were really good,

Like-- I didn't know that
you were that good.

Cause you never told me,
that you were like

a legitimate actor.

Come on,
For real.

You gotta miss that
a little bit.

Miss constantly being
constantly rejected?

Not really.

No miss doing something
that you're amazing at.

I'm good at
team leading.

Yeah, but--

"No risk, no reward?"

Well I have a saying.

"No risk, no risk."
After all that bullshit,

going back and
starting over, no way.

Ron did.

Oh Ron did.

Did I just use Ron
as a life example.

What are you doing?

Inviting you to just--
be quite.

Don't do that.

You have a girlfriend.

And you have a boyfriend so--

Paul and I kinda
drifted apart

I guess like a few
weeks ago.
Okay.

But still...Maybe this kind
of lost in the shuffle,

but you did kind of,
"break my heart"

and that's kinda--
still there.

Now it's very awkward.

Hot tub, yes!

Mind if I join?

I'm gonna get out.

You--
No, I'm gonna get
out of the hot tub.

Casey.

Whoa.

You really should take
your underwear off.

The jets feel great
on your balls.

Um, I should probably-

Get going.

Ooh. What's going on out here?

Oh ho ho!
Wouldn't you like to know?

Are there suits
we could borrow?

Who needs suits?
No risk, no reward!

Get you tokuses in here,
right now!

I said, right now!

I don't know man, I think
that the first draft have

is way stronger.

You know, DuKlark,
and Krond--

that's where
your story's at.

Like, Jungian
shadow figures.

So much came out
of that re-write.

Why hadn't I ever
re-written before?

Why did Steve Guttenberg,
have to tell me

that I needed a re-write?

Taking off?

All right, see ya.

Hot tubing it
Hollywood style!

Now this you don't
have to teach me.

Hot tub I get!

When I'm rich
I'm gonna buy you one.

Thanks.

The rewrite was great,
wasn't it?

Yeah, you know what
I think would be cool

is if more of it
was more like,

the robot,
growing a soul?

You know, that's a cool idea.

Maybe we could get together,
some after and talk about it.

No.

Hey Henry you were
great in it.

How come you
gave that up?

Thanks.

Henry,
all that talent.

it's for my experience
9 times out of 10

if you've got the talent,
you break through.

Yeah, but what about
that one guy?

Who wants Mochi?

[ all screaming ]

I have takers?

[ all talking ]

*

I think Steve Guttenberg
had a fun time.

It was a great night, huh?

Have you seen
my clipboard, anywhere?

Oh yeah I took it.

Force of habit.

"Sorry. You
really were good? "

Who's that?

Oh. you know what
I think this is for you,

Your buddy Travis.

He must be sorry you
got kicked out of AA.

Oh, that's sweet.

I realized I don't
actually need it.

I mean, those guys have
real drinking problems.

I can't wait to
see that feedback card.

I got so much out
of tonight
Here are my
A-list writers.

Steve.
Pleasure.

Roman, so talented.

I had a great time.

We're gonna send you
the new copies.

You helped out,
you helped out a lot.

Thank you.
Good night.

Whoo!

What an education.

Wow!

Thank you. I feel so
ready to be rich.

Goodbye, gotta make
my shift at the airport.

Oh maybe tonight's the night
you'll find your bag of money.

Bye Ted.

Careful, hey Steve,
great hangin' with you.

So wonderful, Kyle.

You are amazing.
Awe, thank you.

again, you're the best.

See you in class Kyle.

And remember "No risk--

No reward."

I fucking hate
Steve Guttenberg.

*

*

*

*

*

*

**

Tree.