Original subtitles

*

HEY.

IS THERE ANYONE IN THE HALLWAY?

UMM--

NO.

YOU OKAY?

UM, WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S YOUR JOB YOU HAVE TO HELP ME

WITH THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT-- [ someone's coming ]

IT'S GOOD BUT I THINK, I LIKE THAT ONE BETTER,

BECAUSE I LOOK SMARTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I HAVE NO THOUGHTS.

HEY HENRY, YOU USED TO BE AN ACTOR.

LOOK AT THESE TWO.

WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK REPRESENTS ME BEST FOR DRAMA?

THIS ONE WHICH I REALLY LIKE OR THIS ONE,

WHICH I THINK THAT ONE MAKES ME LOOK A LITTLE SMARTER

FOR SOME REASON.

UH... WHICH ONE HENRY?

OKAY, WHOEVER PUT OUT THOSE NAPKINS

SHOULD HAVE THEIR HEAD EXAMINED.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?

WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF JOHN RIVERS?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING THERE?

I PREPPED MY THING, I'M DONE.

YOU'RE DONE, YOU'RE DONE?

WELL HOW ABOUT YOU HELP WITH THE CHAFERS, OKAY?

WELL HOW ABOUT YOU HELP WITH--

YOU KNOW HOW ABOUT WE ALL HELP

HOW ABOUT WE DO A LITTLE, TEAMWORK HERE, OKAY?

AND WE PREP THE TRAYS AS A UNIT.

TOGETHER, TEAMWORK.

[ sighing ]

YOU'RE LATE. OKAY,

THIS IS AWESOME.

HERE.

WHY I'M I HOLDING THIS?

THIS AMAZING PARLOR GAME.

OH, IS THIS THE ONE WHERE YOU MAKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS

TO A TV THEME SOUND?

SORT OF BUT UM, CHECK IT OUT, OKAY.

ROMAN IS GOING TO WRITE A NUMBER,

I'M GOING TO GUESS IT.

OKAY, THINK OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES

YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE "300"

AND WRITE IT DOWN. THIS IS BULLSHIT.

COME ON I JUST NEED THE NUMBER FOR THE GAME

IT'S REALLY FUN. WRITE DOWN A NUMBER.

COME ON WRITE IT DOWN.

I'M NOT LOOKING. WRITE IT DOWN.

WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED FOLD IT AND PASS IT TO HENRY.

VERY NICE.

WHY AM I INVOLVED IN THIS ALL OF A SUDDEN?

OKAY, I LIED, THIS IS A TEST

ACTUALLY TO SEE IF YOU'RE GAY.

BECAUSE IF YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIE "300" MORE THAN ONCE

YOU'RE GAY.

OH COME ON, NOBODY'S DOING NOTHING, WHAT THE HELL?

OH WHAT'S THE FASCINATION THIS?

THIS RIGHT HERE?

OH ACTUALLY CAN WE JUST HOLD ON TO THAT FOR A SECOND?

I NEED TO PREP THAT TRAYS.

LISTEN RON, CAN YOU JUST READ THE THING

NOT A CHANCE, NOT A CHANCE.

ONE THING WRITTEN ON THE PAPER.

OH GOD, IT'S GOT TO BE SO IMPORTANT, RIGHT?

WHAT DOES IT SAY? IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

SIX.

DUDE! YOU'RE GAY!

GAY!

SO AWESOME!

HERE, THIS IS PRETTY COOL, RIGHT?

*

[ clapping and yelling ]

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

YEAH!

THAT'S GOOD!

YOU GOT THE KITTY!

THE "300" WAS THE NUMBER OF HIPPEIS,

THE KING'S PERSONAL BODYGUARDS

OH SO LIKE THE KING WAS LIKE REALLY INTO HOT DUDES AND STUFF.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK

IS GOING ON IN THERE.

YEAH WELL, THIS IS WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE.

THAT'S NOT WEIRD!

THEY'RE ELITE, IT MAKES SINCE THEY'RE ELITE!

LITTLE SPEEDOS THEY WORE? COME ON.

YOU KNOW, THEY ACTUALLY FOUGHT BARE NAKED,

SO SPEEDOS ARE WAY LESS GAY.

HEY GUYS, DID YOU SEE HIM?

WHO? RICK FOX, HE'S THE GUEST SPEAKER.

ON WHAT TOPIC?

HOW THE WEALTH I MADE FROM MY PITUITARY ABNORMALITY

RELATES TO THE DIPSHIT CORPORATE HELL.

I TOOK FOOD TO HIS HOTEL SUITE

I SAW HIM, I GOTTA TELL YOU

I GOT ONE WORD FOR HIM.

WOW.

WOW, WHAT?

THE DUDE PLAYS BASKETBALL.

THAT'S A GAME FOR CHILDREN.

RICK FOX?

THE ACTOR?

GOOD JOB, GREAT JOB!

PEOPLE RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, HALF HOUR FOR REFRESHMENTS AND POWERTALK,

THEN WE'RE OUTSIDE FOR SCAVENGER HUNT!

AND DON'T FORGET SELF-REVIEW.

THIS IS NOT A RETREAT, IT'S AN EVENT!

RIGHT COME ON!

HERE YOU GO. THANKS.

GOT ANY BEER? YEP.

CONGRATULATIONS.

YEAH, "THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOXING." SECOND PLACE.

WAIT A MINUTE,

"ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?"

"...HAVING FUN YET," YES THAT WAS ME. WOW.

EMPHASIS ON THE WAS.

WHAT'RE YOU DO NOW?

I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT--

WELL, WE'RE HIRING IN SALES. OKAY.

OKAY, SO IN 01, YOU'RE 44 PERCENT FROM THE FIELD,

THEN IN 02 YOU'RE 42,

03, 42,' THEN BOOM,

IN 04, YOU'RE 39 PERCENT FROM THE FIELD

AND 25 PERCENT ON THREE POINTERS.

UM...IS THAT A QUESTION?

I'M JUST SAYING.

UH, MR. FOX?

THOSE POT STICKERS YOU ASKED ABOUT ARE HERE.

AH.

EXCUSE ME.

WHOA, THAT WAS JUST IN TIME.

YEAH, THAT GUY, MAN. THANK YOU.

WE DON'T HAVE POT STICKERS, THOUGH, SORRY.

WHAT ABOUT A BOOK OF BUSINESS JOKES?

WHAT?

I WROTE MY SPEECH THINKING THESE GUYS DID OVERNIGHT DELIVERY.

WELL, WHAT DO THEY DO?

"OFFICE MANAGEMENT SOLUTIONS."

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

I DON'T EITHER.

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

YOU RUN ALL THIS, HUH? YEAH.

IT'S JUST GREAT STUFF.

GREAT, INSPIRATIONAL.

TEAMWORKZ FUN BUILDING.

DOUG BEAKS.

OH, RON, YEAH.

AND YOU FEEL THIS WORKS FOR TEAM UNITY? TEAMWORK.

BECAUSE I'M A TEAM LEADER MYSELF, YOU KNOW,

SERVICE INDUSTRY, CUSTOMER SERVICE.

I JUST FEEL LIKE THEY'RE NOT FUNCTIONING AS A REAL TEAM.

YOU KNOW AND IT MAKES ME JUST--

I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE, WHEN YOU'RE DONE HERE,

YOU COULD RUN MY GUYS THROUGH A FEW DRILLS.

OH WELL, HALF DAYS START AT TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS.

SO, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,

YOU GIVE ME A CALL, OKAY?

OKAY, OKAY. GREAT.

THANK YOU. MM-HMM.

OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS?

"I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HERE

BECAUSE I JUST SAT IN OFFICE MANAGEMENT

AND I NEED AN OFFICE MANAGEMENT SOLUTION."

THAT'S SO TERRIBLE,

I'M EMBARRASSED THAT I SAID THAT OUT LOUD.

HOW ABOUT, HEY I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE I NEVER HAD ANY IDEA

HOW MANY PEOPLE IT TAKES TO MAKE A USELESS PRODUCT

THAT NOBODY NEEDS.

[ laughing ]

YOU SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.

I SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN,

THAT'S WHAT I KEEP TELLING MY STAND-UP COMEDIAN AGENT.

DO YOU HAVE A SIT-DOWN COMEDIAN AGENT.

LOOK AT YOU?

MAYBE YOU'RE THE COMEDIAN.

WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY MONEY TO SEE RICK FOX

SPEAK ON ANY TOPIC?

WELL, HE'S A WINNER, ROMAN.

AND PEOPLE WANT HEAR WHAT WINNERS HAVE TO SAY.

NO, A WINNER IS LIKE ARTHUR C. CLARK,

OR STEPHEN HAWKING OR KAFKA.

HE'S JUST SOME EIGHT FOOT TALL FREAK.

WHEN DID YOU TURN SO COMPLETELY AGAINST RICK FOX?

A, HE WAS OVER-RATED ON THE LAKERS,

AND B, HE'S ALL OVER CASEY LIKE A FUCKIN' SLEAZE.

HA, YOU'RE JEALOUS OF RICK FOX.

THAT'S HILARIOUS. THREE BEERS.

WHY WOULD I WANNA BE A 18 FOOT TALL OCTOPUS ARM FREAK?

NO, MAYBE CAUSE UM, HE'S TALKIN' TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, UGH.

YOU'RE A FUCKIN' INFANT-- AND IDIOT.

LISTEN UP, LISTEN UP WE GOT AN HOUR-- GET AWAY.

WE GOT AN HOUR DOWNTIME DURING THEIR SCAVENGER HUNT

AND I WANT EVERYONE IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM

THREE O'CLOCK SHARP.

TEAM MEETING.

WHY, WHAT-- WHAT THE FUCK?

WHY ARE WE HAVING A MEETING ALL OF A SUDDEN?

OH GOD, CAN'T YOU JUST SAY YES RON?

OKAY, I'LL BE THERE.

ALL RIGHT. WE HAVE A MEETING.

I'LL TELL YOU AT TH MEETING.

LOOK AT THAT RICK FOX.

I CAN'T BELIEVE RICK FOX IS HERE.

PART OF A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM.

HEY. HEY.

GET ANOTHER ONE? [ whistle blowing ]

OKAY EVERYBODY, GRAB YOU PARTNERS!

TEAM SCAVENGE IN FIVE! YES.

IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, WHAT DO YOU DO?

OH. SALES MANAGER.

OH SALESMAN. YEAH.

I MANAGE THE TEAM, DEVELOP MARKET RESEARCH,

ACCOUNT, CUSTOMER ACCOUNT SERVICES--

OVERALL, CUSTOMER CARE IN EVERY DIMENSION.

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A JOB AT BRANDIX?

OH NO, I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN I GUESS--

WHAT DO YOU SEE IN YOUR WHEELHOUSE?

GOING FORWARD?

WELL I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN MY WHEELHOUSE.

HOW LONG WERE YOU AN ACTOR?

UM...TWELVE, FIFTEEN YEARS--

TWELVE TO FIFTEEN YEARS THAT'S EXPERIENCE.

REALLY? YEAH THAT'S SALES.

I KNOW, SALES IS JUST PRESENTATION.

IT'S PLAYING A PART.

"ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?" THAT'S SALES!

[ whistle ] OKAY EVERYBODY!

COME ON LET'S GO!

AND REMEMBER, THIS IS NOT A RETREAT.

IT'S AN EVENT!

ALL RIGHT, COME ON! LET'S GO!

I'M NOT GONNA DRINK AND SCAVENGE,

BECAUSE HAT WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE.

SO-- ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

I'LL KEEP IT ON ICE. THANKS.

C-A-S...

E-Y. E-Y. YEP.

HEY, CASEY, I'LL SEE YOU AT THE MEETING?

OKAY.

NO IDEA WHAT HE'S TALKIN' ABOUT.

DUDE...

RICK FOX IS SUCH A COCKHOLE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE CASEY'S GONNA FUCK HIM.

SHUT UP, SHE'S NOT.

UH, HIS SUITE'S DOWN THERE-- SO.

FUCK YOU, SHE WOULD NEVER... NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

DUDE THAT TALL, I BET HIS DICK'S LIKE TWO FEET LONG.

DUDE...

PROBABLY LIKE FUCKING A HANDSOME GIRAFFE.

SHUT THE FUC--

I MEAN, HE COULD BE IN ONE ROOM FUCKING HER

AND IN THE OTHER ROOM READING A MAGAZINE.

I BET WHEN HE GETS A BONER IT'S

IT'S LIKE HALF A HULA HOOP--

DUDE, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK ABOUT SHIT LIKE THAT?

ARE YOU JEALOUS?

NO, I DON'T WANT A HULA HOOP DICK.

SO YOU'RE COOL WHEN RICK FOX

FUCKS CASEY WITH HIS TWO FOOT GIRAFFE DICK--

YOU'RE COOL WITH THAT?

FUCK YOU.

DUDE YOU'RE JEALOUS, IT'S LAME. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

CASEY WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH A GUY LIKE YOU? EVER.

C'MON, OR WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE MEETING.

AHH!

I GOTTA TAKE A PISS, SEE YOU THERE.

HEY, WHERE'S EVERYONE?

THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW. HAVE A SEAT.

OKAY.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

PLEASE, SIT.

AWE, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO TEAM BUILDING DRILLS, ARE WE?

DON'T LOOK AT THAT, JUST HAVE A SEAT.

AND WAIT FOR THE MEETING TO START.

OH WOW.

[ clearing throat ]

FORGET IT, I'M JUST GONNA START WITHOUT 'EM

AND THEN THEY'LL HAVE TO CATCH UP.

SO, GOOD AFTERNOON.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

TEAM MEETING,

WHAT IS THE FIRST WORD IN TEAM MEETING?

IT'S TEAM.

OKAY AND I THINK WE NEED TO

OKAY THIS IS DEFINITELY STARTING TO SOUND LIKE TEAM BUILDING.

GODDAMIT HENRY.

DUDE, TEAM-BUILDING? COME ON IT'S SO LAME.

KYLE JUST SIT DOWN PLEASE

AND WHERE'S EVERYBODY?

WHERE'S ROMAN, WHERE'S CASEY?

OH ROMAN'S GOING TO GET HER.

WHERE IS SHE?

RICK FOX'S SUITE. AY OH.

HEY ARE WE GONNA BE DOING SOME LIKE ROLE PLAY OR SOMETHING?

[ clearing throat ]

HEY,

LOST MY KEY.

THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I-- SORRY.

JUST HOLDING A GLASS.

YOU DROPPED THIS.

FUCK.

FUCK.

[ moaning ]

MORE, MORE MORE MORE MORE, STOP, STOP.

LEFT. LEFT, OKAY.

OW, SHIT!

ALL RIGHT AM I DEAD?

NO, BUT YOU HAVE TO LOOSE A SPOON.

I'M SORRY!

NO, NO, NO DON'T BE SORRY THIS IS GREAT.

THIS IS WONDERFUL, THIS IS ABOUT COMMUNICATION.

YOU SAID LEFT, BUT LEFT CAN MEAN

A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT THINGS.

CONSTANCE, HOW COULD YOU HAVE COMMUNICATED WITH KYLE

TO GUIDE HIM DIFFERENTLY?

I COULD HAVE SAID "RIGHT."

OR, "YOUR LEFT."

BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO THINK OUTSIDE YOURSELF.

IT'S ABOUT COMMUNICATING WITH OTHERS.

HENRY, DID YOU HEAR THAT IT'S ABOUT COMMUNICATION.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE INVOLVING YOURSELF

IN COMMUNICATING.

OKAY, UM--

GO RIGHT.

OKAY, SO DO I HAVE TO DROP A SPOON?

YES.

FUCK, NICE HENRY.

WHERE'RE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO FIND THE OTHER GUYS

AND TELL 'EM ABOUT THIS.

NOW?

I GOT ONE LEFT, WHAT DO I DO?

YOU'RE GOING LEFT, MY LEFT.

NO!

[ moaning ]

[ moaning ]

HELLO.

[ whispering ] ROMAN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HENRY, SHHH.

THIS IS SOME DISTURBING SHIT.

BEEN HERE FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES.

THIS GUY IS NOT A CLOSER.

OH GOD OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK ROMAN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT IS THAT?

I WAS AH-- LOOKING FOR CASEY.

YOU KNOW TO TELL HER ABOUT THE MEETING AND EVERYTHING.

CAUSE I DON'T THINK SHE HEARD ABOUT IT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ME? I WAS-- I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU GUYS.

FOR THE MEETING.

SO WHERE IS CASEY?

I THOUGHT SHE WAS WITH RICK FOX IN HIS ROOM

SO SHE'S NOT IN HIS ROOM?

I DON'T KNOW I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE WAS HIS.

CASEY WOULDN'T--

YOU KNOW,

WITH RICK FOX?

I MEAN, I WOULDN'T THINK SO.

MAYBE I'LL GO TO THE FRONT DESK

AND SEE IF I COULD GET FOX'S ROOM NUMBER.

AND TELL CASEY ABOUT THE MEETING.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

OKAY.

OH HI, UH...MR. FOX.

DID YOU SEE THE MAID?

I'M ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR CASEY,

SHE' UM, LIKE SHE HAS BROWN HAIR, SHE'S KIND OF CRABBY.

OH OKAY, SHE WAS JUST HERE, SHE LEFT.

OH. GREAT.

BUT HEY, WHILE YOU'RE HERE.

OH AND SHE LEFT HER PHONE.

SO FOR THIS ROOT I DID "LETHAL WEAPON,"

WHICH WAS A HUGE INFLUENCE ON ME,

HOW MEL GIBSON SHOWED YOU COULD BOTH BE AN ACTION MOVIE STAR,

AND SHOW DEEP EMOTIONS.

YOU KNOW CAUSE THE WAY HIS WIFE DIED,

AND THAT MADE HIM LIKE SUPER RECKLESS--

I SAT NEXT TO MEL GIBSON, THAT'S THIS ROOT.

AH, THERE HE IS, WHERE'S ROMAN?

WHICH ARE SUPPOSED TO BE BELIEFS--

OH, I DID BRANCHES AS BELIEFS--

WELL START WITH THE BRANCHES FIRST.

WE'RE MAKING A "LIFE-TREES."

LIFE TREE TIME, YOU KNOW.

I GUESS IT'S NOT LIKE A BELIEF BUT I THINK BONO'S AWESOME.

OKAY FINALLY, ALL RIGHT, THE TEAM IS HERE,

SO LET THE TEAM BUILDING BEGIN.

OKAY. SIMPLE, OPEN COMMUNICATION.

A COMMON PROBLEM WITH ANY TEAM

IS A FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND A TEAM MATES NEEDS.

I'M GOING TO TOSS THE BALL, WHOEVER CATCHES IT,

SAYS AN IDEA THAT WOULD HELP IMPROVE THE TEAM.

FIRST THING THAT POPS INTO YOUR HEAD.

OKAY THAT WAY WILL UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER BETTER

AND IT'LL BRING US CLOSER TO EACH OTHER.

OKAY?

OKAY.

COME ON HENRY, FIRST THING TO POP INTO YOUR MIND.

HOW DO YOU THINK WE COULD IMPROVE THE TEAM?

I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING, RON.

WELL YOU HAVE TO.

OKAY, PAY US DOUBLE.

WE CAN'T. TOSS THE BALL TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

I WE SHOULD EACH ADOPT A HOMELESS PERSON

AND CARE FOR HIM AND MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN ONE PERSON'S LIFE.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN, TOSS IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

I THINK WE SHOULD ALL FOCUS ON POSITIVITY IN OUR WORK.

GOOD. POSITIVITY, THAT'S VERY GOOD.

TOSS IT!

POSITIVITY.

I THINK,

CASEY SHOULD BE MORE DISCREET.

WHAT?

CASEY HOLD ON, ROMAN HAS THE BALL

ROMAN, A LITTLE INSIGHT ON THAT ONE.

DISCREET ABOUT WHAT?

COME ON YOU KNOW.

NO I DON'T KNOW.

SLEEPING AROUND.

WHAT?

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

IT'S JUST A SUGGESTION, TO IMPROVE, THE-- YOU KNOW UH TEAM.

WELL, IT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN THAT ROMAN'S IN LOVE WITH YOU.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! MAN, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

ROMAN, HENRY HAS THE BALL--

HENRY SAY SOMETHING TOSS THE BALL.

WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS WHAT I DO, ROMAN?

AND HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?

WHAT HAPPENED TO NOT TELLING ANYBODY?

WHAT THE FUCK?

HENRY HAS THE BALL, HENRY SAY SOMETHING, TOSS IT.

YOU FUCKED HENRY?

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU?

HIM? YES!

WHY? OH MY GOD.

I TOLD YOU THERE WAS FUCKIN' A LINE, DUDE.

HENRY, GODDAMIT SAY SOMETHING AND TOSS THE BALL.

OKAY, FINE I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.

CASEY? YEAH?

YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE IN RICK FOX'S ROOM.

OKAY, THAT'S NOT A SUGGESTION.

OKAY, CASEY SHOULDN'T LEAVE PHONES IN RICK FOX'S ROOM.

CAN I SAY SOMETHING IF I DON'T HAVE THE BALL?

NO.

SO WHAT, YOU'RE JEALOUS, NOW?

JUST SAYING. JUST SAYING, MY GOD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FUCKED HENRY AND RICK FOX.

IS THERE ANYONE IN THE UNIVERSE YOU HAVEN'T FUCKED?

I HAVEN'T FUCK ANYONE!

OKAY, PEOPLE. STOP.

WELL YOU DID SAY YOU FUCKED HENRY A LOT.

OKAY, SENSING A LOT TENSION IN THE ROOM,

IF YOU PASS ME THE BALL,

I CAN MAYBE MAKE A SUGGESTION

THAT WILL RELIEVE SOME OF THE TENSION.

LISTEN, NOTHING HAPPENED.

OKAY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

NOTHING HAPPENED.

CASEY, TOSS THE BALL.

OW! FUCK MAN.

JESUS, FUCK!

THAT FUCKIN' HURT! GOOD!

JESUS CHRIST.

COME ON FUCK!

OKAY, I HAVE THE BALL

AND MY SUGGESTION IS THAT YOU PEOPLE REALIZE

THAT I'M MAKING A GENUINE EFFORT HERE, OKAY?

AND I, LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME,

NO ONE ON THE TEAM SHOULD FUCK ANYBODY ON THE TEAM!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU ACTUALLY THINK THAT

FLIRTING WITH RICK FOX ALL DAY

IS NOT GONNA MAKE ME SLIGHTLY JEALOUS?

OH MY GOD, HENRY, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

ON MULTIPLE OCCASIONS.

I KNOW WE DID BUT I DIDN'T THINK THAT

HAVING A CASUAL HOOK-UP AGREEMENT

MEANT THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO STOP HAVING FEELINGS.

SORRY, NO, NO, THAT WAS JUST THE MOST PATHETIC

HALLMARK CARD I'VE EVER HEARD.

THANK YOU, THAT'S VERY SWEET. AND JUST WHAT?

RICK FOX HE OFFERED ME A RIDE BACK

TO HOLLYWOOD WHAT? AND I SAID YES.

WHY, WHY?

WELL, NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM, YOU PSYCHO.

IT'S SO I CAN DRIVE HIS CAR BECAUSE IT'S A CLK

AND IT'S REALLY FUCKIN' FAST AND I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? SO, DEAL WITH IT.

WHAT'S A CTS? A CLK!

WHAT'S A CLK? WHAT THE FU...?

THIS MATERIAL IS THE COPYRIGHTED PROPERTY

OF TEAMWORKZ FUN BUILDING.

I WAS JUST BORROWING IT.

YEAH WELL GUESS WHAT, I'M GOING TO SEND A BILL TO PARTY DOWN

IN CARE OF RON.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

MY NAME'S NOT RON, IT'S MARK.

RICK FOX, HUH?

DO I HAVE ANYTHING IN MY TEETH?

HEY GARY, YOU DON'T HAVE, LIKE, A CARD OR SOMETHING FOR ME?

HMM, YEAH.

SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE INTERESTED?

WELL I'M INTRIGUED, I MEAN THIS A--

ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE.

WE'LL SET SOMETHING UP CALL THAT NUMBER.

WE'LL SIT DOWN. THANK YOU.

YOU'D BE A SALES NATURAL, I SWEAR.

NO MAILROOM.

NO, NO, NO MAILROOM. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. NO I PROMISE, YOU'D BE A NATURAL.

CALL ME. THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S RICK FOX TIME.

IT'S RICK FOX O'CLOCK

HAVE FUN.

THANK YOU.

HELLO.

YOU KNOW, I'M VERY GLAD TO BE HERE,

BECAUSE I JUST SAT IN SOME OFFICE MANAGEMENT,

AND I NEED AN OFFICE MANAGEMENT SOLUTION.

OKAY UH, ANYBODY LAKERS FANS?

*

STEVE'S JUST IN HERE

AND UM HE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU IN A MOMENT.

THANK YOU. HEY GOOD LUCK.

OKAY GREAT.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME? HENRY.

WH-- NO WITH SOME ONE. OH.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, KAREN, I'LL LOOKING FOR THAT FAX.

YEAH, OKAY.

YOU TOO. BYE BYE.

HENRY. HI.

STEVE DEETMAN. HEY, MAN.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THE GOOCHER?

I'M SORRY-- WHO?

GARY GUTENBURG, YOU KNOW--

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WE MET AT A PARTY.

EXCELLENT, MOST EXCELLENT.

IS HE GONNA BE HERE?

OH NO, NO, SORRY, GARY'S UP IN FRESNO TODAY,

BUT HE DOESN'T HANDLE THIS KIND OF THING ANYWAY.

SO THAT'S MY JOB SO--

OKAY.

ANYWAY THE GOOCHER TOLD ME

YOU'RE INTERESTED IN SALES IS THAT RIGHT?

YES, WELL HE SAID THAT UM, YOU KNOW, THAT MIGHT BE

SOMETHING THAT I WOULD BE SUITED FOR AND--

YELLO?

WHAT'S UP BRICKMAN YOU FUCKIN' DOUCHE BAG!?

UH-HUH. [ laughing ]

YEAH, DUDE, IT'S ON THE WAY.

ALL RIGHT, BRICKMAN, BY THE WAY THE SPUR SUCKED MY BALLS.

JUST KIDDING BUDDY.

HE'S FROM TEXAS SO--

I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE.

I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS HENRY

YES, WE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE

WITH SKILLS AND WITH SMARTS. GREAT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE WITH TELEMARKETING?

TELEMARKETING?

YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T.

DON'T SWEAT IT.

BECAUSE I DID IT THE SUMMER AFTER MY JUNIOR YEAR,

PICKED IT UP IN A DAY.

OKAY SO...

SITTING IN A CUBICLE AND JUST MAKING CALLS OR

YEAH, NOT REALLY IT'S UM--

IT'S MORE LIKE A LONG TABLE

THAT YOU'D BE SITTING AT MAKING CALLS SO--

OH.

OKAY, TEN BUCKS AND HOUR,

AND YOU'LL HEALTH BENEFITS AFTER YOUR FIRST YEAR. YEP.

IT'S NOT THE MOST GLAMOROUS JOB IN THE WORLD, HENRY.

BUT THE GOOCHER MASTER TOLD ME THAT YOU NEEDED SOMETHING

WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPERIENCE.

SO THIS IS WHAT'S ON THE TABLE.

LET'S SEE IF YOU OH--

ALL RIGHT, YOU USED TO BE AN ACTOR?

IT SAYS HERE. YEAH, YEAH.

OH, MY GOD.

HENRY I'M GONNA ASK YOU ONE LAST QUESTION.

AND THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE

OF THIS WHOLE INTERVIEW, OKAY?

OKAY.

"ARE WE HAVING FUN YET!?"

*

*

*

AH, HA, HA TREE.