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1
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,220
"HAPPY SWEET 16, TAYLOR,"
IN THAT EDIBLE GOLD SHIT.
2
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,355
HE FUCKS IT UP,I'M COMING DOWN
TO HIS GAY FUCKING BAKERY
3
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:24,625
AND TAKE A GIANT
SHIT DOWN HIS HOLE!
4
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:25,693
HIS MOUTH HOLE!
5
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,495
JESUS FUCKIN' CHRIST.
YOU GOT KIDS?
6
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,962
HAVEN'T MET
THAT SPECIAL LADY, YET.
7
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,331
YEAH WELL DON'T.
8
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,465
NOTHING BUT BITCHING.
9
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,601
HUNDRED BOTTLES OF CUSTOM
NONALCOHOLIC CRISTAL,
10
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,035
A FOUR THOUSAND
DOLLAR HOOKER DRESS,
11
00:00:35,136 --> 00:00:37,671
AND 40 GRAND FOR THIS
ASSHOLE RAPPER "DROGRIZZLE"
12
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,307
TO MUMBLE HIS BULLSHIT
FOR AN HOUR.
13
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,974
YOU KNOW THIS RAP SHIT?
14
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,243
MORE OF A
"STING" MAN, MYSELF
15
00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:44,445
ALL TO TRY AND GET ONE FUCKING
SMILE OUTTA THAT KID.
16
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,080
AH WELL NOT TO WORRY,
AT PARTY DOWN
17
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,182
WE HAVE EXTRA SMILES
TO PASS AROUND.
18
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,717
I HOPE THE JACKETS FIT.
19
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,119
WE HAD VALHALLA CATERING,
20
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,120
BUT THOSE COCKSUCKERS
DOUBLE-BOOKED US.
21
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,655
WHAT?
22
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,590
TELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER
I'M GONNA RIP HIS DICK OFF
23
00:00:56,690 --> 00:01:00,194
AND USE IT TO FUCK HIS
FUCKING DOG IN THE ASS!
24
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,295
TO DEATH!
25
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,397
GOD IT IS SO WEIRD,
26
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,333
I LOOK LIKE A PLAYAH
IN THIS OUTFIT.
27
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,600
YOU LOOK
LIKE A VAUDEVILLE CLOWN.
28
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,169
THAT'S THE IDEA.
29
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,470
OH SHIT.
30
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,272
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
31
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,506
MY AGENT MADE ME GET
MY TEETH BLEACHED,
32
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:14,542
BUT HE DIDN'T SAY
IT'D HURT THIS MUCH.
33
00:01:14,642 --> 00:01:17,044
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE
THE BIGGEST FUCKING PUSSY
34
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,379
ON THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
35
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,581
FUCK YOU, IT KILLS.
36
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,551
OH, WAIT, WAIT
I THINK, THEY MISSED ONE.
37
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,186
ARE YOU SERIOUS, WHERE?
38
00:01:25,286 --> 00:01:26,187
RIGHT THERE.
39
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,389
OW, DUDE, SHIT.
40
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,358
OH YES, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST
FUCKIN' PUSSY!
41
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,425
OW!
42
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:32,760
KYLE, GET UP.
43
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,195
GET UP PLEASE.
44
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,497
OUR CLIENT, LEONARD STILTSKIN,
PRODUCER,
45
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,266
HE'S THROWING
A SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY
46
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:39,700
FOR HIS LOVELY
DAUGHTER TAYLOR.
47
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,369
OKAY AND THERE'S A THEME.
48
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,671
"DA CLUB BOAT."
49
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:46,440
NOW FYI WE TOOK OVER
FOR VALHALLA CATERING.
50
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:49,510
THEY DOUBLE-BOOKED,
THEIR LOSS, OUR GAIN.
51
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,745
BECAUSE I WANNA SHOW
MR. STILTSKIN,
52
00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:54,148
WHAT TRUE PROFESSIONALISM
LOOKS LIKE.
53
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,284
LIKE FUCKING ASS-CLOWN.
54
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,452
I FEEL LIKE LOU FERRIGNO
IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
55
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,322
YEAH WE LOOK LIKE WE'RE IN THE
GAY SECRET SERVICE OR SOMETHING.
56
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:02,656
DO WE SERIOUSLY HAVE
TO WEAR THIS SHIT?
57
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,124
YES.
58
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:06,594
BECAUSE TODAY, WE'RE NOT JUST
SERVING FOOD AND BEVERAGES.
59
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,196
WE ARE ALSO DREAM WEAVERS.
60
00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,564
WEAVING A DREAM
FOR TAYLOR, OKAY?
61
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,666
THERE ARE TWO HUNDRED
OF THE COOLEST PEOPLE
62
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,836
ON A LUXURY BOAT,
A REAL RAPPER, AND US.
63
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,805
IN COSTUME,
PLAYING THE PART,
64
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,274
BECAUSE TODAY THIS
BOAT ISN'T JUST A BOAT,
65
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:22,243
IT'S A FAIRY-TALE
FANTASYLAND,
66
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:23,444
WHERE EVERY BOY
IS A "PLAYAH"
67
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,580
AND EVERY GIRL
A "BITCH!"
68
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,817
*
69
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:41,529
[ music playing ]
70
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:54,107
CAN YOU IMAGINE INVITING
200 PEOPLE TO YOUR PARTY
71
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,643
AND TEN LOSERS
SHOW UP?
72
00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:58,512
THIS POOR GIRL, I MEAN
IT'S HER SWEET SIXTEEN.
73
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,113
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
74
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,515
YOU CAN'T JUST STAND
THERE DO SOMETHING.
75
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,384
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
THIS PARTY'S A BUST.
76
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,453
IT'S UNPROFESSIONAL
TO JUST STAND AROUND.
77
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:07,588
OKAY SO WIPE SOME COUNTERS,
CLEAN SOME GLASSES. KEEP BUSY.
78
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,523
WE ALREADY FINISHED
DOING ALL THAT STUFF.
79
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:10,791
WELL DO SOMETHING
DIFFERENT.
80
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,160
I TAKE A SHIT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE DANCE FLOOR
81
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,595
AND KYLE COULD
CLEAN IT UP?
82
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,330
BE PROFESSIONAL! GO.
83
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,570
DUDE, IT STINGS.
84
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,406
HEY WHERE IS YOUR
FUCKIN' KID?
85
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,874
WELL, FIND OUT
AND GET 'EM HERE!
86
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,242
SIRLOIN SLIDER?
87
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,710
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS.
WHERE IS SHE NOW?
88
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,412
SHE'S LOCKED IN HER
FUCKING STATEROOM
89
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:32,713
AND WON'T COME OUT.
90
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:33,747
I'M TELLIN' YOU,
THE SHIT I GO THROUGH
91
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:34,815
TO MAKE THAT KID HAPPY.
92
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,284
WHAT DO I GET?
A SMILE?
93
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:37,418
OR MAYBE
A "THANK YOU DADDY?"
94
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,887
BUPCUSS, JUST SIX FIGURES
DOWN THE FUCKIN' TOILET.
95
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,422
I'LL GO TALK TO HER.
SIRLOIN SLIDERS?
96
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,392
WOULD YOU FUCK-OFF WITH
THE GODDAMN SLIDERS, PLEASE.
97
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:45,926
LEANN, IF SHE WON'T TALK
TO HER REAL MOTHER.
98
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,428
SHE SHE IS NOT GONNA
TALK TO YOU.
99
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,729
SHE'S NOT GOING TO
TALK TO YOU, EITHER.
100
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:50,298
THESE ARE GIRL ISSUES.
101
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,433
SHE'S RIGHT.
102
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,535
YOU'RE A GIRL, RIGHT?
103
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:56,870
GO GET MY DAUGHTER OUT OF
THE FUCKIN' STATEROOM, WILL YA?
104
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,372
I'M ON IT.
105
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:09,417
WHOA.
106
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:10,718
AM I EARLY?
107
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,420
NOPE.
108
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,423
OH, SHIT.
109
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:19,527
JACK AND GINGER, THEN.
110
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:20,528
HENRY POLLARD?
111
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,663
MICHAEL?
YEAH.
112
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,864
SHIT, MAN,
IT'S BEEN YEARS
113
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,265
YEAH, YEAH.
HOW YOU DOING?
114
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,767
I'M, I'M GOOD,
HOW ARE YOU?
115
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,201
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
116
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,470
I'M IN LEONARD'S NEW MOVIE.
117
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,705
YOU KNOW BIG BREAKOUT
OF THE INDIE WORLD,
118
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:32,940
SO I HAD TO COME BY,
YOU KNOW,
119
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,742
MAKE AN APPEARANCE,
KISS THE RING.
120
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,477
SURE, SURE,
THAT IS SO GREAT.
121
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,545
YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
122
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:38,612
I'M AH,
123
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,749
I'M WORKING.
YOU KNOW AND MAKING MONEY.
124
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:43,917
ALL RIGHT.
125
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,719
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
IT'S GREAT, IT'S GREAT.
126
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:46,754
OKAY.
127
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,723
HI HONEY,
HI, TAYLOR?
128
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:52,693
I'M CONSTANCE,
FROM PARTY DOWN CATERING.
[ crying ]
129
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,530
I'M HERE TO SEE IF YOU
WANTED SOMETHING.
130
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,965
I WANNA DIE.
131
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,575
"DA CLUB BOAT."
GOOD TIMES, HUH?
132
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,377
YOU HAVING FUN?
MM-HMM.
133
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,712
GREAT, ENJOY,
IT'S FREE. YUM.
134
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,813
WHERE THE HELL
HAVE YOU BEEN?
135
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,247
NO ONE'S COVERING
THE BUFFET.
136
00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,316
THIS KID'S EATEN
PRACTICALLY HALF OF IT.
137
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:18,318
OKAY WHERE'S YOUR
SUNGLASSES?
138
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,253
I FUCKING WALKED INTO A WALL
ON THE WAY TO THE BATHROOM.
139
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:21,389
I'M NOT WEARING
THOSE THINGS.
140
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,690
I CAN'T SEE SHIT.
141
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,659
OH AND SOME GUY SAID THAT
"GRUZZLE" NEEDS SOMETHING?
142
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,261
OH DEGENERATE RAPPERS.
143
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,531
THEY PROBABLY WANT HO'S,
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
144
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,366
WATCH THE BUFFET,
BE PROFESSIONAL.
145
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,667
PROFESSIONAL.
146
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,968
MY MIDDLE NAME.
147
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,447
COME ON, COME ON.
148
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,348
[ coughing ]
149
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,689
THEY SAID YOU
NEEDED SOMETHING?
150
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,425
I'M ON THE PHONE,
GIVE ME A SECOND.
151
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:58,959
HOWARD, WAIT.
152
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,794
HOLD ON FOR
A SECOND HOWARD.
153
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,596
HEY CAN YOU DO
ME A FAVOR?
154
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,665
CAN YOU CHECK AND SEE
WHAT TIME WE GO ON STAGE?
155
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:05,966
OF COURSE.
156
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,702
'CAUSE WE'RE DUE IN NEWPORT
FOR ANOTHER KID'S BASH.
157
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,037
IT'S IN OUR CONTRACT.
I'LL GO FIND OUT.
158
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,839
YOU GOT THE NUMBER,
OF COURSE I WANNA SEE UM.
159
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,441
HOLD ON, HOLD ON,
LAST TIME HOWARD.
160
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,708
AH ONE MORE THING, MAN?
161
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:15,976
I WANT YOU TO LOOK
AT SOMETHING.
162
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,578
IT'S A BUNCH OF CANDY
ON THE TABLE, MAN.
163
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,714
LIKE WE NOT KIDS, CAN WE GET
SOME FOOD, REAL FOOD? PLEASE?
164
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,916
RIGHT, YES VERY GOOD,
I WILL GET ON THAT.
165
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:23,917
THANK YOU MAN.
166
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:25,419
[ coughing ]
167
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,320
HEY MATTER OF FACT, WHAT
THE FUCK YOU GOT UP IN THERE?
168
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,456
I'M SORRY?
169
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,524
WHAT DO YOU HAVE
TO EAT, MAN?
170
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:34,862
WELL WE HAVE UM, CURLY FRIES,
WE HAVE CHICKEN FINGERS,
171
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,664
WE HAVE SIRLOIN SLIDERS.
172
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:37,798
[ coughing ]
173
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,366
THAT IS VERY STRONG SMOKE.
174
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,569
AWE YEAH THAT'S THE GOOD, MAN
YOU WANT SOME OF THIS SHIT, MAN?
175
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,936
WE GOT TONS OF IT.
NO, NO, I'M GOOD.
176
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:46,440
TAKE A HIT.
OH, NO, THANK YOU THOSE
DAYS ARE BEHIND ME.
177
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,741
STRICTLY BUSINESS NOW.
178
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,843
ALL RIGHT SUIT YOURSELF.
179
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:53,481
SO AH ASPARAGUS SPEARS--
180
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,784
AND...CURLY FRIES,
181
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,652
CHICKEN FINGERS AND AH--
182
00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,920
SAID THAT ALREADY.
183
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,555
HOWARD, THIS IS
WHERE YOU'RE MESSIN' UP AT
184
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:02,890
YOU GOTTA SPELL
IT OUT TO 'EM.
185
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,357
IF THIS IS A FRANCHISE
YOU GOTTA LET HIM KNOW
186
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,626
THE THINGS THAT
HE SHOULD KNOW.
187
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:08,496
LOOK, HOLD ON HOWARD, SO YOU
SAID YOU GOT CHICKEN WHAT?
188
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,731
FINGERS.
CHICKEN FINGERS,
SHIT.
189
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,032
DID YOU SAY "FRANCHISE?"
190
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,767
YEAH, BUSINESS TERM.
191
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,136
YES, I KNOW, BECAUSE
ACTUALLY HAVE MY OWN--
192
00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:18,606
HEY MAN, WE REALLY THANK
YOU FOR THE FOOD, MAN.
193
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:20,541
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
194
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:21,775
ONE MORE THING, MAN,
195
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,911
CAN YOU PLEASE FIND OUT
WHAT TIME WE'RE GOING ON?
196
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,646
I'M SITTING' HERE RIGHT NOW,
I'M NOT DOING NOTHING.
197
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,014
IT'S NOT PROFESSIONAL.
198
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,116
YOU'RE PREACHIN' TO
THE CHOIR ON THAT ONE.
199
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,451
PROFESSIONALISM.
200
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:32,820
CAN I GET A WITNESS?
201
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,987
IS HE STILL HERE?
202
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,089
I HEAR THAT.
203
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,625
YOU'RE EDGAR ALLEN POE?
204
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,026
YEAH, A GRAPHIC NOVEL,
205
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,529
IT'S THE WRITER,
BUT HE'S KILLING VAMPIRES.
206
00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:42,763
IT'S LEONARD'S NEXT MOVIE.
207
00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:46,099
WOW, YOU'RE
EDGAR ALLEN POE?
208
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,168
FUCKIN' UP VAMPIRES
IN OLD BALTIMORE.
209
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,838
WOW.
210
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,006
THAT'S-- THAT'S GREAT MAN,
THAT'S GREAT.
211
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,142
WHAT ABOUT YOU, LAST TIME
I SAW YOU YOU WERE DOING GOOD,
212
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,444
YOU WERE DOING
THOSE COMMERCIALS
213
00:07:57,545 --> 00:08:00,080
WITH THE
"ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?"
214
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,851
YEAH, NO, THAT ACTUALLY
KINDA KILLED MY CAREER.
215
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,719
SHIT.
YEAH.
216
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,054
THAT FREAKS ME OUT.
217
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:10,257
I MEAN THIS GUY ALL THE TALENT
IN THE WORLD TENDING BAR?
218
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,427
I SHOULD TALK TO LEONARD.
219
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,029
NO, MICHAEL, NO.
220
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:20,701
REALLY, I ACTUALLY READ FOR HIM
ONCE AND THINK THAT WAS ENOUGH.
221
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,904
AND I'M DONE THE TOWEL
HAS BEEN THROWN.
222
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,773
LEONARD AND I ARE TIGHT.
223
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:28,842
HE LISTENS TO ME.
224
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:33,513
YOU WOULD BE PERFECT
FOR YOUNG LINCOLN.
225
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,648
ABRAHAM LINCOLN?
226
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,717
YEAH, WHEN HE WAS
A CONGRESSMAN, HE MEETS POE
227
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,752
HELPS HIM STEAL HIS AMULET
FROM THE SMITHSONIAN.
228
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,055
NOW IT SOUNDS DUMB,
BUT IT'S A GREAT ROLE.
229
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,691
ALL YOU NEED IS
ONE GREAT ROLE AND BOOM
230
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:44,792
YOU'RE BACK!
YEAH?
231
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,594
OKAY?
232
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:47,928
YEAH IT DOES SOME
KIND OF GREAT.
233
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,930
SHIT YEAH, I'M TELLING YOU,
ME PLAYING EDGAR ALLEN POE
234
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,099
YOU TENDING BAR,
IT'S LIKE OH!
YEAH.
235
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,601
THE UNIVERSE IS CRAZY
AM I RIGHT?
236
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:54,868
YEAH!
237
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,003
OKAY WHAT, YOU'RE FRIENDS
WITH FAMOUS PEOPLE NOW,
238
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,170
YOU DON'T INTRODUCE ME.
239
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,840
YEAH CASEY THIS IS MICHAEL,
MICHAEL, CASEY.
240
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,042
MICHAEL'S PLAYING
EDGAR ALLEN POE.
241
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,144
IN LIKE THE COMIC VERSION
WITH THE VAMPIRES?
242
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,013
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY
WERE MAKING THAT MOVIE
243
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,247
THAT'S AMAZING.
244
00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,582
HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS ONE?
245
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,784
ACTING SCHOOL,
HE WAS THE NEXT PACINO.
246
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,252
I SHIT YOU NOT.
247
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,121
WOW, YOU NEVER SAY THAT
YOU HAD ANY TALENT.
248
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,555
AH HE'S EXAGGERATING.
249
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,825
NO I'M NOT, HE WAS GREAT.
250
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:19,927
AND I'M GONNA GET HIM BACK ON
HIS FEET, RIGHT?
251
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:23,631
HENRY COME ON,
YOU, ME, HERE, WHAT?
252
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:24,998
IT'S FATE.
253
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,133
IT IS KIND OF FATE.
254
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,836
IT'S FATE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
255
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:30,170
CASEY.
YES.
256
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,872
WHAT'D I SAY ABOUT
PROFESSIONALISM?
257
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,073
I DON'T REMEMBER.
258
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,711
I SAID...UH...
259
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,782
CIRCULATE...AND...
260
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,617
WELL LET'S GET
CONSTANCE TO DO IT.
261
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,886
NO I CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE
SHE'S IN THE STATEROOM
262
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,588
OFFERING SUPPORT
TO THE BIRTHDAY GIRL.
263
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:51,024
SHE IS, CONSTANCE IS?
YES SHE IS.
264
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,160
OH, SHIT...OKAY,
I'M GONNA--
265
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,028
NICE TO MEET YOU.
AND YOU.
266
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:02,970
THERE HE IS.
267
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,552
I'M SUPPOSED TO
BE DOING SOMETHING.
268
00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,822
RON, YOU REEK OF POT.
WHAT?
269
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,757
YOU SMELL LIKE--
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T SMOKE--
270
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:24,925
I DON'T SMOKE POT.
271
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,259
WELL YOU SMELL
LIKE POT.
272
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:30,097
AHH, THOSE RAPPERS.
273
00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,699
I THINK I HAVE
A PRETTY GOOD IDEA
274
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,300
OF WHAT "DRO GRIZZLE"
STAND FOR.
275
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,337
IT'S SLANG FOR "STRONG
HYDROPONIC MARIJUANA."
276
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,107
KINDA WHAT
I WAS GONNA GUESS.
277
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,709
OH I GOTTA TO BRING
THEM FOOD.
278
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,578
HEY RON, RON LOOK,
279
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,147
ARE YOU HIGH?
WHAT?
280
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,983
I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT, IF YOU
DON'T WANNA BE AROUND ALL THAT.
281
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,786
NO, I HAVE STUFF THAT
I HAVE TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT.
282
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:57,057
YOU JUST LOOK BUSY.
283
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,359
UH, OKAY.
284
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:03,196
HE'S SO FUCKIN' HIGH.
YEAH.
285
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:04,664
NO, NO, NO, NO,
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
286
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:06,666
I WAS MEDIUM POPULAR
IN MIDDLE SCHOOL,
287
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:11,204
BUT BY THE TIME I GOT TO BE
A JUNIOR, I WAS FULLY POPULAR.
288
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:14,607
PEOPLE JUST DON'T APPRECIATE
THE RESPONSIBILITY YOU HAVE,
289
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,209
SETTING AN EXAMPLE,
HEY.
290
00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,711
HOW'S IT GOING?
291
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,848
HEY CASEY, WE HAVE
A SIT'CHIATION HERE, MY SISTER.
292
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,186
SO, TAYLOR IS DATING CHAD.
293
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,756
WHO'S MAYBE NUMBER FIVE
IN THE CLASS HOTTIE'S LIST.
294
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:30,924
BUT CHAD HAS BEEN A BIT
OF A DOUCHE BAG LATELY
295
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:34,127
SO TRISTAN, PROBABLY
THE TOP GUY AT SCHOOL,
296
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,897
HE FLIRTS WITH HER AT A PARTY
AND THEY FOOL AROUND,
297
00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:39,833
TRISTAN'S GIRLFRIEND
FINDS OUT, TELLS CHAD--
298
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,035
(IN MISERY) AND NOW THEY
BOYCOTTED MY PARTY.
299
00:11:42,135 --> 00:11:45,172
AND THERE'S NO ONE
HERE BUT THE LOSERS.
300
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:51,411
OH OH.
301
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:55,983
VODKA REDBULL.
302
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,286
HEY, CLUB DRINK OF CHOICE.
303
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,320
DON'T SAY THAT.
304
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,421
I USED TO GO
CLUBBING ALL THE TIME,
305
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,857
BEFORE I MARRIED
THAT THING.
306
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,126
I LOVE CLUBBING,
YOU KNOW I LOVE IT.
307
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,095
HOW DO YOU DEAL?
308
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,997
BOOZE, FACEBOOK,
SHOPPING.
309
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,399
RANDOM FLINGS
WITH HOT GUYS.
310
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:17,337
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO BE YOUNG LINCOLN
311
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:21,241
IN AN EDGAR ALLEN POE FILM?
312
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,976
YEAH.
313
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,813
NO, I KNOW IT'S ROUGH,
BUT THERE'S FRIENDS HERE
314
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:26,814
WHO CAME TO SEE YOU.
315
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,348
THOSE AREN'T MY FRIENDS,
316
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,950
THOSE'RE JUST THE LOSERS
I HUNG OUT WITH
317
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,684
BEFORE I GOT
COOL FRIENDS.
318
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,321
THE COOL FRIENDS
DIDN'T COME.
OKAY.
319
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,223
OKAY BUT WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY
320
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,426
IS THAT THOSE KIDS ARE KIND
OF COOL FOR SHOWING UP.
321
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:41,461
OR THEY'RE JUST TRYING TO HITCH
A RIDE ON YOUR POPULARITY.
322
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,796
CONSTANCE--
323
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,364
HEY IT USE TO HAPPENED
TO ME ALL THE TIME.
324
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:47,167
IT'S ONE OF THE DRAWBACKS
OF BEING REALLY, REALLY POPULAR,
325
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:50,838
OH MY GOD.
PEOPLE TRY TO USE
YOUR POPULARITY
326
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,006
CONSTANCE.
TO MAKE THEMSELVES
SEEM MORE
327
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:56,209
POPULAR THAN
THEY REALLY ARE.
CONSTANCE!
328
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,845
CAN I TALK TO YOU
OUTSIDE FOR A SECOND?
329
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,412
LISTEN, WE'RE TRYING TO GET THAT
GIRL TO COME OUT TO HER PARTY,
330
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,448
AND I JUST DON'T THINK ANYTHING
YOU'RE SAYING IS HELPING
331
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,816
LIKE, AT ALL.
332
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,751
CASEY, I KNOW HOW TO DEAL
WITH THESE ISSUES.
333
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,053
I WAS VERY POPULAR.
334
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,788
YEAH, WELL, OKAY CONSTANCE,
I WAS PRETTY POPULAR TOO.
335
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:09,857
NOT LIKE I WAS POPULAR.
336
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,791
YOU DON'T KNOW--
NOT FOR A FACT.
337
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:12,860
IS THIS TAYLOR'S PARTY?
338
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,427
YEAH WHAT CLIQUE
ARE YOU IN?
YES!
339
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,030
THIS IS TAYLOR'S PARTY,
BUT SHE'S NOT SO FEELING WELL.
340
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,065
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
341
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,166
MEGAN LINDERMAN.
342
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,202
MEGAN, HI, I CAN GIVE
THAT TO HER FOR YOU.
343
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,304
AND EVERYONE'S JUST
IN THE BALLROOM.
344
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,839
YEAH BACK THAT WAY.
YEAH.
345
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,108
BYE.
SEE YA.
346
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,209
SO CAN I PLEASE JUST
TALK TO HER ALONE
347
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,743
FOR A MINUTE,
PLEASE?
348
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,512
TELL HER TO
HOLD OUT FOR TRISTAN.
349
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,750
YOU KNOW WHAT A GREAT STORY
THIS IS GONNA MAKE?
350
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,888
I WAS AT A KIDS PARTY
ON A BOAT--
YEAH.
351
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,522
HENRY WE'RE GOOD.
I KNOW.
352
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:44,091
ALL RIGHT WATCH.
353
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,760
OKAY, IF HE WON'T SIGN
I'LL FIRE A BAZOOKA UP HIS ASS.
354
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,998
AND TAKE A GIANT SHIT
DOWN THE BAZOOKA HOLE!
355
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,532
I'VE GOT ENOUGH SHIT
WITH YOUR FUCKING KID
356
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,101
BLOWING OFF
MY KID'S THING.
357
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:57,070
HE FUCKING BETTER, OR YOU'LL
NEVER SEE THE LAKERS AGAIN.
358
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,405
FUCK YOU.
359
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,942
MICHAEL, I'M SORRY, I'M DEALING
WITH A REAL SHITSTORM, HERE.
360
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:02,943
NO PROBLEM,
NO PROBLEM.
361
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,244
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
362
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,245
GOOD TO BE HERE,
LARRY THIS IS HENRY.
[ phone ringing ]
363
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,313
YEAH NO I'M GOOD.
OKAY.
364
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,248
NO, ACTUALLY
LEONARD--
365
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,151
WELL FUCK HIM!
366
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:12,452
FUCK HIS FACE OFF,
367
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,987
AND WHEN HE
PICK IT UP OFF THE FLOOR,
368
00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:17,457
FUCK HIM IN THE ASS!
369
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:18,959
LEONARD I WANTED
YOU TO MEET HENRY,
370
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,827
BECAUSE HE IS
THE BEST ACTOR I KNOW.
371
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,896
THIS WAITER,
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?
372
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,099
HE IS A GOOD WAITER,
HE'S IS A FANTASTIC ACTOR.
373
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,202
WHOA, WA--WAIT A SECOND.
374
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,371
YEAH, THERE IT IS, HE READ
FOR YOU A FEW YEARS BACK?
375
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,472
I DID.
376
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,507
ALL RIGHT, YOU COME WITH ME.
377
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:35,508
HARRY, RIGHT?
378
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,244
AH, HENRY.
DOESN'T MATTER.
379
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:40,513
I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT
IT'D BE SO GREAT BEING POPULAR,
380
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:44,017
BUT IT'S SO CONFUSING.
381
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:48,521
I KNOW, I WAS POPULAR
FOR LIKE, I DUNNO, TWO YEARS
382
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,257
BEFORE I FIGURED
THAT SHIT OUT.
383
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,459
YOU TRY SO HARD
TO BE COOL, RIGHT?
384
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:56,096
BUT THEN IF YOU'RE TRYING TO
BE COOL THEN THAT'S NOT COOL.
385
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,430
AND THE KIDS
WHO AREN'T TRYING
386
00:14:57,530 --> 00:15:01,068
THEIR THE ONES THAT SEEM
TO HAVING ALL THE FUN, SO...
387
00:15:01,168 --> 00:15:04,271
I DON'T KNOW, DON'T YOU WANNA
LIKE FORGET ABOUT BEING "COOL"
388
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:08,976
FOR A SECOND
AND JUST HAVE FUN?
389
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,377
YOUR FRIEND MEGAN'S HERE.
390
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:14,114
SHE BROUGHT YOU THIS.
391
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:17,017
OH MY GOD.
392
00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:18,385
WE USED TO PLAY
THIS AT SLUMBER PARTIES
393
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,419
LIKE ALL THE TIME.
SEE?
394
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,121
HEY, SWEETIE?
395
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,223
GOD DAD!
WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!
396
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,225
HEY, HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE
TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
397
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,960
IT'S MICHAEL.
HEY, TAYLOR.
398
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,596
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART.
399
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:33,333
AND LOOK WHO'S HERE
WITH A QUESTION FOR YOU?
400
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,144
"ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?"
401
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:52,885
RIGHT, FROM
THOSE COMMERCIALS?
402
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,087
BEER COMMERCIALS.
RIGHT.
403
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,156
SHE USED TO RUN AROUND
THE HOUSE SAYING IT
404
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:57,457
ALL THE TIME.
REALLY?
405
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,492
OH YEAH, YEAH.
406
00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,894
JESUS, NOT EVEN
A GODDAMN SMILE?
407
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,897
GOD, DAD, I WAS,
LIKE, NINE.
408
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,233
YEAH WHEN SHE WAS NINE
SHE WASN'T A FUCKIN' COMPLETE
409
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:08,001
FUCKIN' SPOILED
FUCKIN' BRAT!
410
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,140
OKAY WE WILL GET THIS
AT A DIFFERENT MOMENT.
411
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,407
OKAY.
412
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,916
SO DO YOU NORMALLY DO
THE CASTING DECISIONS AND STUFF?
413
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,318
DID YOU SEE
"BLOB, EXTREME? "
414
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:27,287
THE GUY WHO PLAYED
THE FIREMAN IN THAT
415
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,621
HE WAS ONE OF MINE,
416
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:32,692
BUT HE WASN'T HALF
AS CUTE AS YOU ARE.
417
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:36,629
I'LL GET YOU SOMETHING
MUCH BETTER IN POE.
418
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,532
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
A GREAT YOUNG LINCOLN.
419
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:45,072
MAYBE THIS ISN'T LIKE
THE BEST TIME TO LIKE DO THIS.
420
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,274
DON'T WORRY
ABOUT ABOUT LEONARD.
421
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,341
I NEVER WOULD'VE
MARRIED HIM
422
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,278
IF WE DIDN'T HAVE
AN UNDERSTANDING.
423
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,215
YOU'RE SO HOT.
424
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,216
THANK YOU.
425
00:16:56,316 --> 00:17:03,556
YOU'RE VERY HOT YOURSELF.
426
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:13,966
OH GOD, YEAH, UM-HMM.
427
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,335
IT'S NICE ON THE EAR.
428
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,338
SO THE "DRO GRIZZLE"
IS A FRANCHISE
429
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,006
THAT PEOPLE CAN BUY INTO?
430
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,308
RIGHT, RIGHT.
431
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,642
YOU BUY IN,
DO YOUR THING
432
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,477
UNDER THE UMBRELLA
OF THE BRAND.
433
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,613
YOU HELP US GROW,
WE SUPPORT YOU.
434
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,747
RIGHT, RIGHT,
RIGHT, RIGHT.
435
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,216
LIKE THAT SOUP THING
YOU WERE TELLING US ABOUT.
436
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:30,683
SOUP R' CRACKERS.
437
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,120
FASTEST GROWING NON-POULTRY,
NON-COFFEE FRANCHISE
438
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,122
IN ALL OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
439
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:38,525
ALL YOU CAN EAT
SOUP, SALAD, BREAD.
440
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:39,992
I AIN'T NEVER HEARD OF THAT.
441
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,661
YOU FOR REAL,
LIKE ALL YOU CAN EAT.
442
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,663
THE ONLY LIMIT
IS YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM.
443
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,133
HEY AH, YOU FIND OUT
WHEN WE'RE GOING ON, MAN?
444
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,236
[ making weird noises ]
RON?
445
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:50,537
YOU FIND OUT WHAT
TIME WE GOING ON?
446
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:53,072
OH, RIGHT,
IT'S NUTS OUT THERE.
447
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:56,276
HEY BEFORE I GO,
SINCE YOU GUYS NEVER HEARD OF IT
448
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,677
I'M WONDERING
IF THERE'S AN OPPORTUNITY
449
00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,547
TO OPEN UP A FRANCHISE
TO SOUTH CENTRAL,
450
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:03,550
FOR GUYS LIKE YOU WHO NEVER HAD
ALL YOU CAN EAT SOUP?
451
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,453
I MIGHT BE ON THE GROUND FLOOR
OF A SENSATION, HERE.
452
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:10,022
NO, NO, NO YOU GOTTA
CHECK YOUR DEMOGRAPHICS, MAN.
453
00:18:10,123 --> 00:18:12,292
IF YOU DO, YOU'LL FIND
SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES
454
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,494
IS INCREASINGLY HOME TO
A MAJORITY LATINO POPULATION.
455
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,528
IS THAT RIGHT?
456
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,029
DEAD SERIOUS.
457
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,031
AIN'T A LOT OF BROTHERS
HANKERIN' AROUND FOR NO SOUP.
458
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,168
SO, IT'S, LIKE,
A WHITE THING?
459
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,236
WELL PUT IT LIKE THIS,
WHEN I THINK ABOUT SOUP,
460
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,371
I THINK ABOUT LIKE--
461
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,772
REESE WITHERSPOON
EATING THAT SHIT.
462
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,374
MATT DAMON,
I THINK MATT DAMON.
463
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:30,210
WHAT ABOUT THOSE BITCHES
OFF THE HILLS
464
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,645
NANCY REAGAN,
OLD SOUP EATIN' ASS.
465
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,615
HANNAH MONTANA FUCKIN' ASS.
466
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,317
THAT BITCH PROBABLY
EATIN' SOME RICH SOUP.
467
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:40,119
TIGER WOODS, HE PROBABLY WOULD
I CAN SEE HIM EATIN' THAT SHIT.
468
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,788
UH-UH, UH-UH
THE GUY'S PART THAI,
469
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:45,057
NO HE COME FROM A LONG CULINARY
TRADITION OF EXOTIC SOUPS.
470
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,092
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING'?
471
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,594
I DON'T IMAGINE
IT'S THAT EXOTIC.
472
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,162
NO IT'S MORE HEARTY SOUP,
473
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,430
LIKE CHICKEN, RICE.
474
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:53,132
NOW SEE MY DILEMMA IS,
I DON'T SEE NO BLACK PEOPLE
475
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,134
GOING NOWHERE THAT SAY
"CRACKER" ANYTHING.
476
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,403
THAT'S TRUE,
I KNOW I'M NOT.
477
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,472
HOLD ON, HOLD ON,
THAT'S INTERESTING TO ME,
478
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:00,473
WHY IS THAT?
479
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,409
SHOW HIM WHY GREG.
480
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,610
SOUPER CRACKERS.
481
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,478
YOU DON'T GET
WHAT HE SAYIN', ALL RIGHT,
482
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:06,646
IMAGINE YOUR GRANDMA
GOIN' INTO A PLACE
483
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:10,217
TO BUY SOUP AND IT'S CALLED
SOUPER ANGRY BLACKMAN.
484
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,784
HISTORY OF THE SOUTH, MAN.
485
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,119
ALL THAT RACIST SHIT.
486
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,454
MAN IT'S JUST ALL BAD.
487
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,223
YOU MIGHT AS WELL CALL IT
"SLAVE WHIPPIN' SOUP."
488
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:17,724
OH NO!
489
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:21,194
"ALL YOU CAN EAT
SLAVE N' SALAD AND SHIT."
490
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:23,162
OHH--
491
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,465
AH, "LYNCH AND SOUP."
492
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,600
WHAT ABOUT "SOUP R' OPPRESSION"
493
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,237
HEY THE "JIM CROW
SOUP AND SALAD ."
494
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,771
"NO NIGGER SOUP."
495
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:37,577
RIGHT?
496
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:41,381
NO YOU LOOK AWESOME.
497
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,383
GO OUT THERE AND HAVE FUN,
YOU KNOW. BE YOURSELF.
498
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,651
ARE THE REAL FRIENDS COMING?
CONSTANCE!
499
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,453
JUST KEEP WALKING, OKAY.
500
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,521
WHAT THE FUCK MAN, THAT WAS
THE BEST PART OF THE COMICS
501
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:51,558
EDGAR ALLEN POE,
TOTAL ALCOHOLIC FIGHTS VAMPIRES.
502
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,760
WELL IN THE SCRIPT
HE'S NOT AN ALCOHOLIC.
503
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:56,195
SO HE'S NOT REALLY
EDGAR ALLEN POE.
NO.
504
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,730
NOW EDGAR ALLEN POE DIDN'T
REALLY KILL VAMPIRES,
505
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,165
NOW DID HE, SWEETHEART.
506
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,667
IS THE LOVE INTEREST STILL
HIS 13 YEAR OLD COUSIN?
507
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,669
WELL THEY'RE LOOKIN'
AT NATALIE PORTMAN.
508
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:05,838
WHO'S LIKE 40. FUCK.
509
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,540
THESE ASSHOLES ALWAYS
FUCKIN' UP THE COMICS.
510
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,908
YOU GUYS SEE
"DARK KNIGHT? "
511
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:11,278
MY DAD SAID IT WAS TOO VIOLENT,
HE WOULDN'T LET ME GO.
512
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,646
SHIT, WE SHOULD GO.
513
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,548
GIVE ME YOU NUMBER,
THIS WEEKEND MAYBE, OR--
514
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,417
I'LL COME PICK YOU UP OR--
515
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,491
[ clapping ]
516
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,393
I'LL BE OVER HERE.
517
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,664
WE GOTTA PLAY THIS.
518
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,500
FINALLY, SHE'S OUT.
519
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,904
HEY YOU I OWE YOU BIG TIME,
YOU'RE MARY TODD LINCOLN.
520
00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,506
YEAH WHATEVER,
WHERE ARE THOSE RAP GUYS?
521
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,474
THEY'RE IN BACK.
522
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,844
FYI, I WON'T PAY TO SEE EDGAR
ALLEN POE FIGHT VAMPIRES SOBER.
523
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,447
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT
WHAT YOU THINK, DINK.
524
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,248
PEOPLE CARE WHAT I THINK.
525
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:53,185
I HAVE A PRESTIGIOUS
BLOG, SIR.
526
00:20:53,286 --> 00:20:54,587
NICE WORK, KLEIN.
527
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:56,689
I FEEL LIKE AN EXTRA IN AN
AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIAL.
528
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,190
I DO TOO, KIND OF.
529
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,293
SO WHAT HAPPENED
WITH LEONARD?
530
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,295
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED,
WITH LEONARD, YOU WERE THERE.
531
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:03,796
I KNOW BUT DID MICHAEL
GO AND TALK TO HIM
532
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:04,897
IS HE GONNA GIVE
YOU A PART?
533
00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,899
HE'S NOT GONNA
GIVE ME A PART, CASEY.
534
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,801
WHY?
535
00:21:08,901 --> 00:21:09,902
SOMETIMES THEY GIVE
YOU A PART.
536
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,203
COME ON!
537
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,204
IT HAS TO
HAPPEN SOMETIME.
538
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:13,840
LOOK I REMEMBER
THIS FEELING, OKAY,
539
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,476
AND IT'S LIKE BEATING MY HEAD
AGAINST THAT WALL,
540
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,778
OH GOD I'M SO SORRY,
I DIDN'T KNOW.
WHAT?
541
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,681
I DIDN'T KNOW,
THAT YOU LOVED THIS LOSER
542
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,950
MINIMUM WAGE
LIFE-STYLE SO MUCH
543
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,284
THAT YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO PART WITH IT.
544
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:26,653
WELL I DO.
I WASN'T AWARE.
545
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:29,288
I DO.
I'M SORRY.
546
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:32,492
WHAT I SHOULD GO TALK TO HIM
BECAUSE WHAT IT'S FATE?
547
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:35,227
YOU SHOULD JUST NOT
BE A TOTAL IDIOT
548
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,564
FOR ONE SECOND
OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
549
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:41,668
AND JUST DO IT.
550
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:42,835
JUST DO IT.
551
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,236
JUST DO IT,
WHAT THE FUCK?
552
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,805
ALL RIGHT PARTY'S ON,
LEONARD'S HAPPY,
553
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,273
IT'S THE PERFECT MOMENT,
YOU WANNA DO IT?
554
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:48,575
I DON'T--
555
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,677
COME ON, THIS IS
HOW THESE MOVIES END.
556
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:51,744
OKAY,
EVERYONE'S HAPPY AT THE END.
557
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:52,812
OKAY! YEAH.
558
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:55,515
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
559
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,750
[ music playing ]
560
00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:58,785
OH OH.
561
00:21:58,885 --> 00:22:01,320
YOU DON'T WANNA BE
THE YOUNG ABE LINCOLN?
562
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,723
NO I REALLY WANNA BE,
I REALLY WANNA BE LINCOLN.
563
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,258
[ in pain ]
564
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,561
OH GOD THAT'S GOOD!
YOU LIKE THAT?
565
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,463
[ grunting ]
566
00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:16,836
OH YOU LOVE THAT?
567
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,538
[ laughing in pain ]
568
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,674
OH GOD! SHIT!
569
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:23,009
WHAT THE FUCK?
570
00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:26,278
NO BULLSHIT, HE'D BE PERFECT
FOR THE ROLE OF YOUNG LINCOLN.
571
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:29,449
MIKEY, IF YOU SAY SO? AH HE
LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE LINCOLN.
572
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,283
WHERE ARE THOSE
FUCKIN' RAPPERS?
573
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:32,619
NO BULLSHITTING
HE'S PERFECT FOR IT.
574
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:33,786
MAYBE WE GET
THE SCRIPT--
575
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:35,822
WAIT A MINUTE NOW,
IF HE'S THE NEXT PACINO,
576
00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:36,823
WHAT DOES THAT
MAKE YOU THEN?
577
00:22:36,923 --> 00:22:39,826
WELL, THE NEXT COSTNER.
578
00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:41,961
ALL RIGHT LISTEN MAN CAN
YOU COME IN TO READ?
579
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,396
YES.
YOU MIND AH--
580
00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,799
OH YOU GOTTA BE FUCKIN' KIDDING
ME NOW IT'S FUCKIN' WAITERS,
581
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:47,967
HE'S AN ACTOR.
582
00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:49,936
AH BEAUTIFUL AND ACTOR,
SO NOW I GET TO PUT
583
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,303
THIS FUCKIN' GUY
IN A MOVIE.
584
00:22:51,404 --> 00:22:52,605
DON'T GET YOUR
DICK IN A WAD,
585
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:55,575
IT DIDN'T GET THAT FAR,
I THINK HE'S FUCKIN' GAY.
586
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:56,909
I'M NOT GAY!
587
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:57,910
MY TEETH!
588
00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,812
[ moaning ]
589
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,581
SO, MAYBE WE'LL HAVE HIM CALL
THE OFFICE ON MONDAY.
590
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:02,982
YEAH, YEAH SURE--
591
00:23:03,082 --> 00:23:04,484
OH HERE WE ARE,
FUCK, ABOUT TIME.
592
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:05,485
LET'S GO MAN,
YOU'RE ON.
593
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,319
OH, NAH, DUDE,
I'M DONE, THAT'S IT.
594
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:08,621
IT SAYS IT IN
MY CONTRACT, I'M OUT.
595
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:09,689
YOU CAN'T FUCKING
WALK OUT NOW!
596
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,090
WE JUST GOT HER OUT
OF THE STATEROOM.
597
00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,725
HEY MAN, WHAT THE FUCK
IS A STATEROOM?
598
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,093
IT'S WHAT THEY CALL
A ROOM ON A BOAT.
599
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,995
SO WHY DON'T THEY JUST
CALL IT A ROOM THAT'S ON A BOAT?
600
00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:16,996
WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL
THE FRONT THE FRONT
601
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,565
BECAUSE IT'S
A FUCKIN' BOAT!
602
00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:20,600
TELL YOU WHAT LEONARD WE'LL
STEPHANIE FAX OVER A SCRIPT--
603
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:21,734
YOU FUCKIN'
WALK OUT ON ME NOW,
604
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:23,335
I WILL KILL YOUR
ENTIRE FAMILY
605
00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:25,004
CHOP THEM UP INTO LITTLE
PIECES EAT THEM!
606
00:23:25,104 --> 00:23:26,506
COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE
THE NEXT DAY
607
00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,741
AND SHIT THEM OUT
ON YOUR FACE.
608
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,677
DON'T DO THAT,
THAT'S A LOT OF SHIT.
609
00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:32,011
JUST CALL OUR LAWYER, MAN.
610
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:34,714
HEY RON, DUDE,
GOOD SHIT, MAN.
611
00:23:34,814 --> 00:23:37,016
AND I MEAN THAT, GOOD LUCK
WITH THE SOUP SHIT TOO.
612
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,752
WHEN IT COME OUT,
I'MA EAT SOME MY NIGGA, REAL.
613
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,754
OH YO YO YO, DRO.
614
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:43,956
I APPRECIATE
THE ADVICE.
615
00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:46,793
AH, DO YOU KNOW WHO
I AM, YOU FUCKIN' FUCK YOU
616
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,495
YOU FUCKIN'--
617
00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:49,496
FUCK!
618
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:50,630
THAT'S ORIGINAL.
619
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:52,431
TELL YOU WHAT LEONARD,
620
00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:53,500
I SEE YOU'RE DEALIN'
WITH A LOT OF STUFF
621
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,001
LET ME TAKE ONE
THING OFF YOUR PLATE,
622
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:56,368
YOUNG LINCOLN,
LOOK AT THAT PROFILE
623
00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:57,870
THAT'S A PENNY,
THAT'S A LUCKY PENNY.
624
00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,506
I FUCKIN' HATE PACINO.
625
00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:01,407
IS THAT RIGHT,
626
00:24:01,508 --> 00:24:03,610
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
627
00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:23,963
SO?
628
00:24:24,063 --> 00:24:26,132
MY FATE IS WITH
THE LOSERS.
629
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:31,638
FEEL LIKE DANCING?
630
00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:32,905
YEAH.
631
00:25:01,534 --> 00:25:02,569
I THINK THIS
WENT MUCH BETTER
632
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:05,705
THAN IT WOULD'VE
WENT WITH VALHALLA CATERING.
633
00:25:11,778 --> 00:25:12,945
FUCK OFF.
634
00:25:36,002 --> 00:25:37,203
CHAD?
635
00:25:39,238 --> 00:25:40,607
CHAD.
636
00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:47,213
CHAD BABY,
I'M SO SORRY.
637
00:25:55,254 --> 00:25:56,623
LET'S GO.
638
00:26:06,132 --> 00:26:07,333
FUCK THIS.
639
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:11,671
IT'S LIKE A FAIRY TALE!
640
00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:18,210
*
641
00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:28,254
*
642
00:26:35,294 --> 00:26:38,330
*
643
00:26:44,637 --> 00:26:46,873
YOU STILL LIKE ME, RIGHT?
644
00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:50,309
I DO, BUT.
645
00:26:50,409 --> 00:26:51,944
I PROBABLY WOULD
LIKE YOU MORE
646
00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,212
IF YOU WERE HELPING
EDGAR ALLEN POE
647
00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:55,081
FIGHT VAMPIRES.
648
00:26:59,151 --> 00:27:00,319
OW.
649
00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:03,756
RON, WHAT DID STILTSKIN
WRITE ON THE COMMENT CARD?
650
00:27:03,856 --> 00:27:04,824
I DON'T WANNA SAY--
I DON'T WANNA TELL YOU.
651
00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:07,093
LET ME GUESS,
HE WROTE,
652
00:27:07,193 --> 00:27:08,895
"YOU FUCKIN' SUCK
AT CATERING
653
00:27:08,995 --> 00:27:12,098
YOU FUCKIN' FAT FUCKIN'
PIECES OF FUCKIN' SHIT,
654
00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:15,167
YOU FUCKIN' STUPID
FUCKERS, FUCK YOU."
655
00:27:15,267 --> 00:27:17,704
ALL RIGHT YOU FREAKIN' ME OUT,
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID.
656
00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:18,971
WORD FOR WORD?
LOOK.
657
00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:22,108
*
658
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:32,184
*
659
00:27:39,191 --> 00:27:42,228
*
660
00:27:49,135 --> 00:27:52,204
*
661
00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:02,248
*
662
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:08,855
* T-R-E-E, TREE
47156
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