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This programme contains
some strong language
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SHE CACKLES
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Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Electric candles.
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Er, under the sink.
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00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,920
Blankets. Oh, that's a tough one.
I'm going to go with...
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..on the beds. Final answer.
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We should run a bath.
We don't want to run out of water
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if the power goes. Cathy,
we're preparing for a storm,
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00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:46,000
not Armageddon.
Storm of the century, Mammy.
12
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,440
What part of this
are you not grasping?!
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Batteries for the torches?
Oh, er, in the cupboard.
14
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,760
CATHY SIGHS
Cathy, if those batteries run low,
15
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can we use this?
BUZZING
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Mammy!
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Mammy!
BUZZING SLOWS DOWN AND STOPS
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Give it to me.
Oh, you want that, all right.
19
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,120
I will check for extra blankets.
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That's what you say
you're going to do.
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Well, welcome to the madness.
22
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,240
The weather here's been terrible,
and there's worse to come.
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There's a big storm on the way. But
the real disaster is not the storm,
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00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,520
it's this, my kettle.
It's knackered.
25
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,640
I don't know what it is
about this house,
26
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,600
but every time the weather changes,
this house goes to shite.
27
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,880
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's...
28
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RECORD SCRATCH
See what I mean?
29
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,320
All right, Ma?
Hello, Mark, love.
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Everything OK? Ah, well,
apart from Hurricane Cathy.
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00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:54,720
She running around?
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00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:57,320
Oh, like a greyhound
with an onion up his arse.
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00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,600
She's just nervous, Ma.
You know, the surgery. Yeah...
34
00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:06,000
I'll see if I can calm her down.
All right, love. Thanks, love.
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00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,960
It's nothing serious, it's just
a thing on her vocal cords.
36
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,800
She won't even be kept in.
37
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,080
It's Captain Birdseye.
38
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BING-BONG!
39
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,520
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.
40
00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:32,160
We'll be landing in Dublin
in about ten minutes.
41
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:36,200
The weather is pretty cold, so
if you do take it out, wrap it up.
42
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,360
That's very good, Der. What's that?
43
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,560
Oh, that's Buster's.
"I'm Philomena Fly Me!"?
44
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,680
SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS
45
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,920
Why couldn't you be the air hostess?
46
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With my legs? Get real, Buster.
47
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,720
Fair enough. Well,
what's all this about, Dermot?
48
00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:13,360
We landed a juicy contract
49
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,400
to promote Air Fungus's
tenth anniversary.
50
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:19,480
Oh. Very nice. Yeah, but now they
cancelled it because of the storm.
51
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:23,760
Oh... That's sad.
So, what was your pitch?
52
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,080
Hardly matters now, Ma, does it?
We're out of work.
53
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,280
It matters to me, son.
Fine...
54
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,960
"Look up there.
Is it a bird? Is it Superman?
55
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,560
"No, it's a plane."
56
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,480
Oh, I see what you did there!
That's very good, very good.
57
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,800
in the sky
58
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,480
over the wings!
59
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:58,400
safe and sound, fly Air Fungus
60
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,960
I'll have the chicken.
61
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,960
LAUGHS
62
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:16,000
Very good, Dermot, very good.
Oh, thank God it's cancelled,
63
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:20,160
because that was shite.
So, what are you doing here?
64
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,360
Just dropped in to see if Cathy
needs a lift to the hospital.
65
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:26,640
Oh, Mark beat you to it already.
Oh! All right, Dermot. Hey, Mark-o.
66
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,360
Well, hello there, young lady.
67
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,120
Chicken or beef?
68
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,160
Oh, it's you, Buster.
Shut up, Mark, you knew it was me.
69
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,440
Mark, just because somebody
puts on women's clothes
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00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,160
doesn't make them a woman,
all right? Exactly! The...
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00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,240
Feck off!
72
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,280
Right, Mark, let's go.
73
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,920
Look, I'll barely be able to talk
for a week after this,
74
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,480
so I'll say happy birthday
to you now, Buster.
75
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,040
Oh, it's your birthday? Not till
Wednesday. But thanks, Cathy.
76
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,520
I got to go.
Good luck, love.
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00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,200
I'll have the beef, please.
78
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:25,600
Chicken.
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00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,000
We're out of beef.
80
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:40,280
Sharon? Yes, Grandad? Ask
that lovely young lady over there
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00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,160
what she's drinking.
82
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,120
Grandad, I don't actually think
she's a lady.
83
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:49,920
All the better.
84
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,240
Damien! Over here.
85
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:58,120
Here, Buster, Grandad thinks
you're a woman.
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00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,560
He wants to know
what you're drinking.
87
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,960
HE KISSES
88
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,520
No, thank you, Sharon.
89
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,000
It's a free drink.
90
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,760
Sharon?
91
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,520
So, have you decided what you're
getting Buster yet for his birthday?
92
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,120
I already got it.
Did you? What?
93
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,160
He always said he'd love to do
a parachute jump, so I booked it.
94
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,800
Fantastic! For when? His birthday.
Wednesday? Yeah.
95
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,720
That's when the storm is due in.
96
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:40,560
Maria, it cost me 500 euro.
I don't care if a tornado hits...
97
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:46,200
..he's jumping out of that plane.
Anyway, it's always windy up there.
98
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,920
Excuse me? Can you help me?
I'm lost.
99
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,280
YOU'RE lost? I'm supposed
to be in Canada.
100
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,360
DOGS BARK
101
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,320
Are you OK, Sister?
Lord be with you.
102
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:10,960
And also with you.
Are you lost? Yes.
103
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,160
Come on, let's get you out of here.
104
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,000
Was your Redser romantic, Agnes?
105
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,640
Romantic? The last time
we made love...
106
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..it was an hour and a half.
WINNIE GIGGLES
107
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He woke me up twice.
108
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,800
AGNES CHUCKLES
109
00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,320
I asked him once, "Why do you never
buy me flowers?"
110
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,440
He said, "I didn't even buckin' know
you sold flowers."
111
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,920
And what about your husband, Birdie?
112
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,840
Which one? I've had three.
113
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,880
Any one of them.
Hard to say.
114
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,280
It's hard to be sexy for them coming
home when you've had seven babies.
115
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,080
You said it, Birdie.
116
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,520
Redser said to me one night,
"Why don't we change position?"
117
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,880
Kinky!
AGNES CHUCKLES
118
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,200
I said, "OK, well, you stand
by the ironing board
119
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,400
"and I'll lie on the couch
watching telly."
120
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,480
Ah, men. Can't live with them...
121
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,880
That's it.
122
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,920
WIND HOWLS
123
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Oh, Mrs Brown, it's really blowing
out there. I can hear it.
124
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:31,240
You want a cup of tea, Maria?
No, I'm actually on my way
125
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,560
down to Foley's to help Sharon
set up for the quiz night.
126
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,520
You're not going out in that.
127
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,400
I'll be fine, Mrs Brown.
WIND HOWLS
128
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,720
The weather warning said
129
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,800
the worst is not going to hit
till midnight tomorrow.
130
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,800
No, no, I'm talking about
your clothes.
131
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,880
You look like
you're buckin' homeless.
132
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,040
I just popped in
to see how Cathy is.
133
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,160
Oh, Dr Flynn is up there
with her now. She's grand.
134
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,200
A bit sore, but grand.
135
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,240
Ah, hello, Maria.
How is she?
136
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,560
Er, still a bit sore.
To be expected.
137
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,240
But I've given her
something to help her sleep.
138
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:06,920
Dr Flynn, who's paying you?
Er, you are, Mrs Brown.
139
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,120
That's right, yeah.
So I get to ask the questions.
140
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,720
Indeed.
So, how is she?
141
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,640
Still a bit sore. To be expected.
142
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,840
Oh.
143
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,480
She's still a bit sore.
To be expected.
144
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:25,000
And? And I've given her
something to help her sleep.
145
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,840
And he's given her
something to help her sleep.
146
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,960
Thank you. Dismissed.
147
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,240
Right, I'm off, then.
148
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,600
Oh, and Cathy should only speak
when necessary.
149
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,000
Oh, I've been saying that to her
all her life.
150
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:44,040
Oh, Doctor? Erm, could you
drop me off at Foley's, please?
151
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:48,120
Certainly. I'll see you, Mrs Brown.
I'll see you, love.
152
00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:49,720
WIND HOWLS
153
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Whoo!
154
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:08,440
Hello, boys. Cup of tea?
155
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,360
Love one, Mammy. I'm gasping.
Yeah, well, you can't have one.
156
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,360
Me kettle's smashed.
Why'd you bother offering, then?
157
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,440
Force of habit. I just want
to drop up and say hi to Cathy.
158
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,760
So, Buster, are you looking forward
to your parachute jump?
159
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,800
DOORBELL
160
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,440
Come in, Father Damien.
Mammy's in the kitchen.
161
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:34,720
Lord be with you.
And also with you.
162
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,080
Just tell him that you don't want
to do it. He says I have to do it
163
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,440
or he's going to throw me
out the plane himself.
164
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,840
Ah, hello, Father Damien.
Trevor's not here. He's downtown.
165
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,400
He's trying to get some of
the homeless into the shelters,
166
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,960
out of the storm. I know,
and I want to go help him.
167
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,000
This is Sister Mary.
Hello, Sister.
168
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,240
Lord be with you.
And also with you.
169
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,240
Could you look after her
while I go help Trevor? Of course.
170
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,400
We'll have a good old chat.
That's the thing, Mrs Brown -
171
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,680
she doesn't say a lot.
What do you mean?
172
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,360
Lord be with you.
173
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,680
And also with you.
174
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,760
That's it. That's all she says.
175
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,120
Hello again, Sister.
176
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,320
Lord be with you.
And also with you.
177
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,600
Lovely. It is, until you've heard it
a thousand times.
178
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,560
That's all she says.
Oh, dear. I know!
179
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,680
I don't know who she is,
where she comes from,
180
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,000
what she's doing here,
and she says nothing.
181
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,800
My kind of woman!
182
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,480
Shut up, Buster!
183
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:41,160
You leave it to me, Father.
I'll get her talking.
184
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,160
I was going to be a nun, you know?
185
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,960
THEY ALL LAUGH
186
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,440
Now that's a lie, for sure.
No, it's not.
187
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,200
May the Lord strike me down.
188
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,240
THUNDER CRASHES
189
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,440
God, that was close.
190
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,640
Father...
191
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,640
Father Damien?
Where are you, Father Damien?
192
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,840
I'm here!
193
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,600
Father, get in here! Can we sort out
what we're doing with Sister Mary?
194
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,360
Come quick! Winnie's been
struck by lightning!
195
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,920
HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS
196
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,360
CRASH!
197
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,960
Lord be with you.
198
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,720
CATHY SHRIEKS UNINTELLIGIBLY
199
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,560
Huh?
200
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,280
What...happened?!
201
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,200
Winnie!
She got struck by lightning!
202
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,400
Lord be with you.
203
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,760
And also with you.
204
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,920
SHE SHRIEKS
Huh? What?
205
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,680
Who's...this?!
206
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,360
It's a nun!
207
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,760
Buster, she can't talk,
she's not deaf.
208
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,680
Lord be with you.
And also with you.
209
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,560
Dr Flynn is close by.
How close?
210
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,040
Backstage.
211
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,720
DOORBELL
That'll be him now. I'll get it.
212
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,160
WINNIE GROANS
213
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,880
She's coming round.
She's coming round.
214
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,400
Well done, Winnie. Winnie! Winnie!
215
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,000
Nah, she's gone again.
216
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,040
Maybe she needs mouth-to-mouth.
217
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,760
I'll do it.
No!
218
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,120
It's OK, I'm here.
219
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,280
Lord be with you.
And also with you...
220
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,560
Father, get rid of her, will you,
before we go insane?
221
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,360
Come on, Sister Mary, let's go
find out where you come from.
222
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:52,840
Lord be with you.
223
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,760
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Also with you.
224
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,440
Buster, we'd better go too. You have
your pre-jump class to do. Come on.
225
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,720
Dermo, do I have to?
Of course.
226
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:16,400
Has anyone tried grounding her?
No, Doctor, sorry.
227
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,480
Winnie? You're grounded.
228
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,720
Not like that. Stand back.
229
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,840
Winnie, you're grounded!
Go to your room.
230
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,120
Oh!
231
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,760
Good job, Doctor.
232
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,720
Well, ten years of medical school
didn't go to waste.
233
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,360
I thought it was just five years.
234
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,840
For most people, yeah.
235
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,120
Winnie! Can you hear me?!
236
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,240
The dogs in the street
can feckin' hear ya.
237
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,120
Why do I smell burning?
238
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,200
Because you were on fire, Winnie.
Oh, God!
239
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:55,280
How is your vision, Mrs McGoogan?
Oh, calm down, Dr Flynn.
240
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:59,520
The electrical current travelled
over the surface of my body
241
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,560
and not through my vital organs.
242
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,720
She's in shock!
Exactly.
243
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:08,960
On the contrary, Doctor,
my rubber soles acted as insulators,
244
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:13,040
dispersing the charge
harmlessly into the ground.
245
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:14,680
Did she say buckin' insulators?
246
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:15,920
CATHY SHRIEKS
247
00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,480
Oh just...just nod yes or shake no.
248
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,200
Mammy!
Huh?
249
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,920
She said, "Mammy."
I know, I buckin' heard her.
250
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,360
Anyway, any chance of a cuppa
now the panic is over?
251
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,840
Priorities, Birdie.
We have a char-grilled Winnie there.
252
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,800
And anyway, me kettle is knackered.
253
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,560
Oh, boil the water on the cooker,
Agnes. That's a good idea.
254
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,520
I never thought of that.
255
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:44,120
Mrs Brown? I think Mrs McGoogan
has become more intelligent.
256
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,640
Well, just less stupid.
257
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,920
You were lucky, Winnie.
Well... You were.
258
00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,280
Sure, did you see the damage
the lightning did to the chip shop?
259
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,280
Fresh cod and battered burgers
all over the place.
260
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,360
And only half of them were edible.
261
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,280
Did you know that the cod they use
is frozen
262
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:14,480
so it can't be called fresh
when it's been frozen?
263
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,200
Ooh...!
264
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,960
I say they'll take that up
at the next EU conference.
265
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,280
It's like listening to
the news headlines.
266
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,600
It's not the same, is it,
without me kettle? Mm.
267
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,320
Father Damien says he's tracked down
where the nun came from. Oh?
268
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,720
Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah,
they're picking her up tonight.
269
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,480
Hilary Nicholson is not going
to the quiz night tonight.
270
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,320
Well, you know why that is.
271
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,720
The...the entry fee.
As tight as a duck's arse, that one.
272
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,960
Well, interesting fact, Agnes.
273
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,800
Ducks don't have
watertight backsides.
274
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,040
Ooh!
Really?
275
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,000
I'll sleep better now, knowing that.
276
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
You learn something new every day.
Yeah.
277
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,040
What are you talking about?
278
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,440
Oh! Er, a duck's arse does leak.
Who knew?
279
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,480
OK...
280
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,280
Wait a minute, you're talking.
281
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,080
Yep. Still a bit sore, but...
282
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,040
I was enjoying the peace and quiet.
283
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,080
I heard that!
284
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,840
Right, I changed the plug
and the power cable.
285
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,760
It should be as good as new, Ma.
Ah, well done, son.
286
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,720
Nope, no light.
I'll get you a new one.
287
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,440
Ah, I don't want a new one, Mark.
It's not the same.
288
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,680
You have two choices, Ma,
a new kettle or a flaming kettle.
289
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,040
Take your pick.
290
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,480
He could try replacing the element.
291
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,000
Mark, try replacing the element.
292
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,920
I never thought of that.
Great idea, Ma. No problem.
293
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,760
Then again, that could cost
just as much as a new one.
294
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:01,600
What to do?
295
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,840
Replace it.
296
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,200
Replace the element. Final answer.
297
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,760
Thank you all for coming early!
That's what me girlfriend says.
298
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:21,960
What girlfriend?
299
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,640
Pam.
300
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,800
You're so childish.
Yeah, I know.
301
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,000
Buster, Winnie got
every question right.
302
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,920
Ask Sharon for her calculator.
303
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,280
And the winners are...
304
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,480
..the Reluctant Virgins!
305
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,920
CHEERING
306
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,040
Congratulations, Mammy!
Thanks, Sharon, love.
307
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,320
Winnie, you answered
every single question.
308
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,880
I know, I know.
Even the geography one.
309
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:55,320
Well, Agnes, everyone knows that the
capital of Mongolia is Ulaanbaatar.
310
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,840
Ooh!
311
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,400
No, Winnie,
everyone doesn't know that.
312
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,840
And before the lightning strike,
you didn't even know
313
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,920
what the capital of Ireland was.
314
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,360
Winnie, we are now your managers.
315
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:13,120
Of what? She's a genius, Ma,
she has to be handled carefully.
316
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,040
A genius?
Who wants to get rich?
317
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,480
Well, I can't speak for Winnie,
318
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,880
but I'd settle for
moderately comfortable. Watch this.
319
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,240
Winnie, what's the square root
of 289?
320
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,880
It's 17.
321
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,480
Buster, calculator.
322
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,240
Mammy, if you would be so kind...
323
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,920
What does that say?
324
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,840
Boobies.
325
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,320
Gets me every time.
326
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,640
17 is correct, Ma.
327
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:54,080
We need to put a plan in place.
TV quiz shows. Exactly.
328
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,720
The Chase, Pointless...
329
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,120
Eggheads, The 1%...
330
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,200
Ha!
331
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,120
Millionaire!
332
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,640
Looks like you're going to be
busy. Yeah.
333
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,160
Boobies!
SHE LAUGHS
334
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,560
Agnes? Sharon and I are terrified
about this hurricane.
335
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,520
Any chance we could come over
to yours just to wait it out?
336
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,760
Yeah, of course. Oh, that'll be fun,
all of us in the one place,
337
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,200
before the hurricane.
What do you mean?
338
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,640
Well, you don't think me and Enzo
are going to sit on our own
339
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,000
in our own place, do you?
Fine...
340
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,080
Well, it turns out
Sister Mary's not a Sister at all.
341
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,680
What? No?! She's a resident
at St Martin's care home.
342
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,000
She just woke up one morning, put on
the nun's habit and walked out.
343
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,680
You shouldn't get into the habit.
344
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,280
The nuns are coming to
collect her tonight.
345
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,400
Well, if they're coming to
collect her tonight,
346
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,920
don't let them drive back until
that hurricane has gone. Good idea.
347
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,400
Damien! Mammy said the nuns
can stay at hers tonight.
348
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,640
I never said that!
349
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,400
You kind of did, Agnes.
350
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,600
WIND HOWLS
351
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,960
Suffering Jesus!
It's wild out there.
352
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,520
Fun, though, isn't it, Ma?
And us all cosy in here.
353
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,880
No! I'm living on me buckin' nerves.
Me too, Agnes.
354
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,040
Well, we'll be all right, Birdie,
won't we? We'll be all right. Yeah.
355
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,080
THUNDER CRASHES, BIRDIE CRIES OUT
356
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,720
Jesus, Birdie! You frightened
the shyness out of me.
357
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:37,640
There's another tree down. I don't
need a running commentary, Grandad.
358
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,640
It fell on a car. Nice one, too.
359
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,800
I may as well be talking
to the buckin' wall.
360
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,480
Did you fix me kettle?
I put a new element in it, Ma.
361
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:50,000
Took me ages. Didn't exactly fit,
but I got it in.
362
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,160
The boys are out for the count
up there. Are they warm enough?
363
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,400
Yeah. Thanks, this is lovely,
all of us under one roof.
364
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,880
Yes, well, provided the roof
doesn't come in on us.
365
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,600
THEY LAUGH POLITELY
Maria, do me a favour, will you?
366
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,680
Keep an eye on Birdie.
She's very nervous.
367
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,120
Winnie's Wisdom.
Sounds good, doesn't it?
368
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,840
ANGUISHED MOOING
369
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,920
I like it.
370
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,720
First, we have to build up
the brand - one-on-one consults,
371
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:25,640
word of mouth. It's called
developing your customer base.
372
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:31,120
I know that, Enzo, son. I'm really
intelligent now, you know?
373
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,200
But once we get some press coverage,
you're going to be huge.
374
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,600
I'm talking newspaper articles,
television interviews.
375
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,600
But the big money-maker? Yeah?
Television quiz shows.
376
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,440
Ooh...
377
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:46,680
Enzo, you know Dermot and Buster
are already managing Winnie?
378
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,840
They're completely wrong for her,
Cathy. And you would know this how?
379
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,760
I'll have you know, Cathy,
that in school
380
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,800
my teachers called me exceptional.
381
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,240
Are you sure they didn't say
special?
382
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,320
Where are Dermot and Buster, anyway?
383
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,400
Dermot took Buster down to
the airport for his parachute jump.
384
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,520
In this weather?!
I know!
385
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,320
I bet Dermot got it half-price
because of the storm!
386
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,960
Well? How are the sandwiches coming?
387
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,520
Good. What do you think?
Enough there?
388
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,320
Right, well, that'll do
Enzo and Birdie.
389
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,000
Now make some for the rest of us.
AGNES CACKLES
390
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,840
WIND HOWLS
This way, Sisters.
391
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,240
Here, Einstein, put the kettle on.
392
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,600
Or is that too menial a job
for a genius?
393
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,160
Shut up, you.
394
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,240
I'm listening, son.
395
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,640
Dermot will probably charge you 20%,
but I'm looking at a very fair...
396
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:44,840
..15.
15?
397
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,480
BANG!
Jesus!
398
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,720
ELECTRICITY CRACKLES
Jesus, Winnie, are you OK?
399
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,600
I'm fine, Agnes. Oh!
It's just a shock. Ooh...
400
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,160
And you know what they say...
401
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,120
..it's only a shock
if a kangaroo does it.
402
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,280
No, Winnie, nobody says that.
403
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,320
No? Winnie...?
Yeah?
404
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,240
What's the capital of Mongolia?
405
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,640
Oh, er, I don't know, Agnes.
406
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,360
Is it Texas?
407
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,440
What's the square root of 400?
408
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,560
Numbers don't have roots!
409
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,400
They're not weeds.
410
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,560
Uh-oh. I'm out.
411
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:30,640
Winnie... Yeah? Sit down there
and make yourself comfortable.
412
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:36,080
Winnie is back!
AUDIENCE CHEERS
413
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,840
What the fu...
414
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,000
I go in to check on sandwiches
415
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,440
and come out to
the cast of The Sound Of Music.
416
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,840
Lord be with you.
And also with you.
417
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,320
Mammy, you said they could stay here
till the storm passes.
418
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,720
Yeah, I said stay here,
419
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:54,880
but I didn't mean "here" here.
420
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,800
DOOR SLAMS
421
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,600
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
422
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,280
Is Buster here?
He was with you.
423
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,680
I was waiting for him at the landing
spot, but he got blown off course.
424
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,640
Are you surprised?
It's blowing a gale out there.
425
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:13,280
I followed him in me car.
I lost him over the village.
426
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,880
Well, he's not here. I'll tell you,
if he drops in, I'll call you.
427
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,800
CRASH!
428
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,520
AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS
429
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,160
I'm OK.
430
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,400
Hip hip!
ALL CHEER
431
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,520
Well, what a week that's been.
432
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,240
Winnie's back.
That's the good news.
433
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,960
And she's just...herself,
434
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,160
if it is good news.
435
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,440
Oh, and once the storm passed,
436
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,880
the Sisters went back to Galway
with Mary.
437
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,440
You should've seen them going!
It was like
438
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,000
five little penguins in the car.
SHE CHUCKLES
439
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,680
Oh, and Cathy's voice is back,
unfortunately.
440
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,000
You know...that storm reminded me
441
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,880
of the Covid times. You know,
when we all came together.
442
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,200
Awww!
443
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,000
It'd be nice, you know,
if we could all just come together
444
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,720
without a storm
or a feckin' pandemic,
445
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,800
just because we wanted to. Mm, yeah.
446
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,560
You know, my mother used to say...
447
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:52,120
SHE SPEAKS FAKE IRISH
448
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,320
And I would look at her
lovingly and I'd say...
449
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,200
.."Mammy...
450
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,880
"..I think it's time to go back
to the fuckin' home."
451
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,120
Goodnight!
452
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:10,840
of Dublin town
453
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:17,040
she wears the crown
454
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:30,400
life get her down
455
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,600
Goodnight!
456
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,680
Goodnight, Buster.
457
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,880
Night-night, Mrs Brown.
458
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,480
Hello?
459
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,560
Hello?!
460
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,800
SHE CACKLES
35261
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