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1
00:00:42,329 --> 00:00:44,439
Oh dearie me! l am losing again
2
00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:48,481
- Good evening all - Hello Sid
3
00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:50,521
- How you doing? - What?
4
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:53,322
- How you doing?
- Very much! l'll have a pint
5
00:00:53,892 --> 00:00:56,403
l said "how you doing" not
"what you having?"
6
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,913
- What? - Never mind! Come on
7
00:01:00,574 --> 00:01:02,364
Hello curly! What can l get you?
8
00:01:02,534 --> 00:01:06,566
- How about excited?
- Congratulations
9
00:01:06,696 --> 00:01:09,206
You are the five hundredth
person to say that tonight
10
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,927
You win our star award, a beer mat
11
00:01:12,497 --> 00:01:16,168
- Thanks! A pint for Sid! - Thelma Ritter
12
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:18,969
Thelma Ritter, eh? l'm Giovanni Cupello
13
00:01:19,419 --> 00:01:23,650
That is not her name! Thelma
Ritter's a pint of bitter!
14
00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:27,251
- Cockney rhyming slang
- Sure l remember
15
00:01:27,581 --> 00:01:28,892
42 pence!
16
00:01:29,022 --> 00:01:31,012
And a packet of assaulted
peasnuts please!
17
00:01:34,583 --> 00:01:36,014
- Cheers - Thanks a lot
18
00:01:37,384 --> 00:01:40,215
- How is the Las Vegas kid doing, eh?
- Terrible
19
00:01:42,666 --> 00:01:46,447
- You never win nothing on this
machine - l tell you! lt's fixed
20
00:01:46,587 --> 00:01:48,497
Oh no, lady behind bar is telling me
21
00:01:48,627 --> 00:01:52,658
lt is nearly time for somebody to
be winning the Jack in the pot
22
00:01:54,029 --> 00:01:54,939
l try again!
23
00:01:57,990 --> 00:01:59,660
But this time l am not looking!
24
00:02:01,311 --> 00:02:03,421
See l tell you, you not win nothing
25
00:02:05,152 --> 00:02:07,983
Yes but l am getting three bars! Look!
26
00:02:08,113 --> 00:02:10,383
lf l'm holding them,
next time l will be winning
27
00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:13,184
You've already spent one pound
28
00:02:13,314 --> 00:02:16,855
Yes but if l am getting another
bar, l will be collecting five pounds
29
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,226
Oh dearie me! l am not
having any more ten p's
30
00:02:20,636 --> 00:02:22,386
Could you be changing this please?
31
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,587
Sorry Ali, l spent all my change
32
00:02:24,717 --> 00:02:27,388
- Max - l got any ten p's
33
00:02:27,518 --> 00:02:29,108
l'll be losing the jack in the pot
34
00:02:31,199 --> 00:02:32,509
Ah professori!
35
00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:33,550
- Good evening - Good evening
36
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,621
- You want a Thelma Ritter? - Pardon?
37
00:02:37,561 --> 00:02:41,472
- Thelma Ritter, bitter - You've
been talking to Sid the caretaker
38
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,593
Sure, he's teaching me more of
his cockeyned slanging rhyme
39
00:02:46,643 --> 00:02:49,154
- Cockney - Excuse me
40
00:02:49,284 --> 00:02:50,394
- Max! - Yes Mr. Brown
41
00:02:50,524 --> 00:02:52,555
lt's your point of interest! You
have to remember what a cockney is
42
00:02:52,685 --> 00:02:56,516
Sure, lt's someone who was
born near the sound of Bows Balls
43
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,277
- Bells - Hockay
44
00:03:01,687 --> 00:03:03,198
- You want a drink? - No thanks
45
00:03:03,328 --> 00:03:05,999
- l just called for some cigarettes
- Excuse me please Mr. Brown
46
00:03:06,129 --> 00:03:09,079
Would you be having any changes for
a pound to be putting in machine?
47
00:03:09,209 --> 00:03:12,160
- You're wasting your money
Ali - No l'm sure to be winning
48
00:03:12,290 --> 00:03:15,521
- l'm holding three bars - lt's
your money! Let's have a look
49
00:03:15,971 --> 00:03:18,042
- Good evening everybodies
- Good evening Ranjeet
50
00:03:18,172 --> 00:03:19,042
Excuse me!
51
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:27,204
- What are you doing you damn fool?
- l'm having a go on this machine
52
00:03:33,976 --> 00:03:35,927
l'm winning the Jackpot
53
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,607
That is my winnings
54
00:03:37,937 --> 00:03:41,558
How can it being your winnings?
l am putting the money, 10 p. ln
55
00:03:41,698 --> 00:03:42,969
Here's your ten p. Back
56
00:03:43,739 --> 00:03:47,570
- Take your dirty hands off my money
- lt is my money you bearded bandit
57
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:50,331
Quiet the pair of you! Why
don't you share the money?
58
00:03:50,741 --> 00:03:52,891
lt's a good idea! There's five of us
59
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,492
That's one pound each
60
00:03:56,622 --> 00:03:59,253
l mean between Ali and
Ranjeet! Then you've both won
61
00:03:59,383 --> 00:04:01,944
- You are as wise as a Holy Guru
- Thank you
62
00:04:02,624 --> 00:04:04,215
Actually, it's time you all
go back to school
63
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:07,015
lt's your exams tomorrow! You should
be taking every opportunity to study
64
00:04:07,385 --> 00:04:09,216
- l know - Okay
65
00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:11,937
- We go - l go
66
00:04:12,427 --> 00:04:13,617
Come on Ali! You too
67
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:18,098
- Waiter? - Pardon?
68
00:04:19,229 --> 00:04:21,259
A gin and tonic and a lager please
69
00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:22,500
l'm afraid you're making a mistake
70
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,220
Don't be ridiculous! l know what l want
71
00:04:25,711 --> 00:04:28,541
A gin and tonic for me and a lager for
my husband! He's just parking the car
72
00:04:28,951 --> 00:04:31,302
No, you don't understand!
l'm a school teacher
73
00:04:32,192 --> 00:04:34,183
That's nothing to be ashamed of
74
00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:37,904
l think it's quite commendable
75
00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:41,575
That you should supplement your
income by working in a public house
76
00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:44,346
Look Madam, l am not
what you think l am
77
00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,546
And l am not interested in
your personal problems!
78
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:50,587
l just want a gin and tonic and a lager
79
00:04:50,717 --> 00:04:51,938
- Yes... - Now
80
00:04:52,078 --> 00:04:53,548
A gin and tonic and a lager
81
00:04:55,199 --> 00:04:57,629
- Good evening Mr. Brown
- Hello Sid, how are you?
82
00:04:57,759 --> 00:04:58,950
l'll have a gold watch
83
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,460
- Pardon? - A scotch
84
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,951
l wasn't offering you a drink
85
00:05:03,081 --> 00:05:04,471
- You are? - Nevermind
86
00:05:04,601 --> 00:05:07,162
A scotch for Sid! 20 cigarettes for me
87
00:05:07,282 --> 00:05:09,633
And a gin and tonic and a
lager for that lady over there
88
00:05:09,763 --> 00:05:10,673
She thinks l am a waiter
89
00:05:11,003 --> 00:05:13,304
- What? - She thinks l'm a waiter
90
00:05:14,004 --> 00:05:16,515
- How long have we been doing it?
- What?
91
00:05:17,725 --> 00:05:21,116
- This waiting - l'm not! l'm not a waiter
92
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:22,516
- You are? - Never mind
93
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:24,957
One pound 60 please
94
00:05:25,087 --> 00:05:27,548
Well actually these drinks are for
that lady and gentleman over there
95
00:05:27,688 --> 00:05:29,358
- They've still got to be paid for
- Yes but...
96
00:05:29,488 --> 00:05:32,559
Never mind l'll pay for
them and they can pay me later
97
00:05:33,369 --> 00:05:35,320
How much is it for the
gin and tonic and the lager?
98
00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:37,440
- 72 - 72
99
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,401
- Good health - Good health
100
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,163
There you are! 72 p. Please
101
00:05:48,293 --> 00:05:51,604
- Didn't l see you take a drink of
my lager? - Yes, it was only a sip
102
00:05:51,734 --> 00:05:55,515
Oh yes l suppose you were tasting
it to make sure it was fit to drink
103
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:57,206
lt was purely accidental
104
00:05:57,336 --> 00:05:59,486
l've a good mind to report
you to the brewery
105
00:05:59,656 --> 00:06:01,607
Frankly, l couldn't care
less what you do
106
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,648
Your attitude is typical of
the working class mentality
107
00:06:04,778 --> 00:06:08,289
lt's people like you that are ruining the
country! You're nothing but a peasant
108
00:06:08,419 --> 00:06:11,570
And you sir are a bourgeois
snob! 72 p. Please
109
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,571
l refuse to pay for a drink that
has been contaminated by your lips
110
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:16,611
l see
111
00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:19,012
All right don't pay for it!
Have it on me!
112
00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:20,532
Here you go!
113
00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:27,414
Silence
114
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:32,495
This is disgraceful! Ten minutes past
seven and Mr. Brown has not arrived
115
00:06:32,706 --> 00:06:34,536
But you are mistaken!
116
00:06:34,666 --> 00:06:37,617
- He is here, isn't he Anna? - Ja
117
00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:40,308
- That's right! He's always early
- Yes please
118
00:06:40,428 --> 00:06:44,579
Tonight, he was being so early that he
was here ten minutes before he arrived
119
00:06:46,269 --> 00:06:50,701
- He's just gone out
- Where has he gone out to?
120
00:06:50,991 --> 00:06:52,941
- Tea room - Toilet
121
00:06:53,631 --> 00:06:55,062
l beg your pardon!
122
00:06:55,192 --> 00:06:56,582
- Toilet - Tea room
123
00:06:57,632 --> 00:06:59,303
Would you like to try again?
124
00:06:59,433 --> 00:07:03,264
Vot they mean is, first he goest to
tea room, then he goes to toilet
125
00:07:03,394 --> 00:07:04,944
Yeah
126
00:07:05,315 --> 00:07:07,065
Hello Miss Courtney, sorry l'm late
127
00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:08,986
- But you're not - Really?
128
00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:11,306
According to your students, you
were here all the time
129
00:07:11,436 --> 00:07:14,707
- Oh yes well
- And where exactly were you?
130
00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:17,418
- We told you, he... - l'm asking Mr. Brown
131
00:07:17,998 --> 00:07:20,229
- Well? - Ah yes...
132
00:07:28,721 --> 00:07:30,551
What is going on?
133
00:07:30,682 --> 00:07:32,152
l don't know, but from
their sign language
134
00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:34,873
l think they're trying to say
l was having a cup of tea in the toilet
135
00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:38,354
Actually Miss Courtney, l'll tell you the
truth! l am late, and the reason is this!
136
00:07:38,484 --> 00:07:40,314
l'd just called to the pub
opposite for some cigarettes
137
00:07:40,444 --> 00:07:43,675
l was mistaken for a waiter, bought two
drinks for two people l'd never met before
138
00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:47,476
Was called a peasant and finished up by
pouring a glass of lager over a man's head
139
00:07:47,606 --> 00:07:49,517
You're an even bigger liar
than your students!
140
00:07:51,367 --> 00:07:54,758
l would have thought you'd have
made an effort to be early this evening
141
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:57,149
After all, it's your last
chance to teach them something
142
00:07:57,289 --> 00:07:59,159
Before they take their exams tomorrow
143
00:07:59,289 --> 00:08:01,280
Yes, miss Courtney you're
quite right as usual
144
00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:05,761
Not that l think any of them have
the remotest chance of passing
145
00:08:08,292 --> 00:08:10,362
ln your places please
146
00:08:10,493 --> 00:08:13,483
- She thinks ve are stupid
- l think she may have a point
147
00:08:13,613 --> 00:08:15,204
- Por favor - Yes Juan
148
00:08:15,654 --> 00:08:21,005
What you think about this
exam? You think we pass?
149
00:08:21,135 --> 00:08:23,326
Do l think you'll pass? Juan,
for the past 13 weeks,
150
00:08:23,456 --> 00:08:25,327
you've all been coming here to study
151
00:08:25,457 --> 00:08:27,647
13 weeks of hard work,
diligence and application
152
00:08:27,777 --> 00:08:29,608
13 weeks of blood toil and sweat
153
00:08:29,738 --> 00:08:31,608
Slowly, little by little, you have improved
154
00:08:31,738 --> 00:08:33,689
When you sit down to take
your examination tomorrow
155
00:08:33,819 --> 00:08:37,520
l will have no doubts whether you'll pass
or not! You haven't a cat in hells chance!
156
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,091
Quiet!
157
00:08:40,461 --> 00:08:42,971
Oh blimey, you are not
giving us any confidence
158
00:08:43,102 --> 00:08:44,612
Maybe some of you may
manage to scrape through
159
00:08:44,742 --> 00:08:46,612
But l shall be most
surprised if you all pass
160
00:08:47,063 --> 00:08:49,623
l shall pass to plove supeliolity
of lepubric of China
161
00:08:50,023 --> 00:08:52,014
Yes we'll see about that!
162
00:08:52,144 --> 00:08:55,055
ln the meantime, l want tonight to
talk about the exam and afterwards
163
00:08:55,185 --> 00:08:57,566
lf any of you have any questions about
any points you're not sure of
164
00:08:57,706 --> 00:08:59,656
They'll just ask and l'll
do my best to answer them
165
00:09:00,186 --> 00:09:02,417
- Excuse me please - Not yet Taro
166
00:09:02,547 --> 00:09:03,607
l want to talk about the exam first
167
00:09:03,747 --> 00:09:05,898
- Then you can ask a question - Ah so
168
00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:11,139
Now the first thing is
l shall not be taking you
169
00:09:11,629 --> 00:09:15,300
Excuse please Mr. Brown, where
will you not be taking us to?
170
00:09:15,791 --> 00:09:18,701
l mean l shan't be here
tomorrow when you take your exam
171
00:09:19,031 --> 00:09:22,902
Jelly good! We can be reading all
the answers from our books
172
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:27,104
- There will be somebody here
- Oh dear
173
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,904
l am thinking l am going
to be up a gummy tree
174
00:09:31,275 --> 00:09:33,065
ln any case, you're
not supposed to cheat
175
00:09:33,195 --> 00:09:35,576
lt's customary for another
teacher from another school
176
00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:37,306
To take an examination of this kind
177
00:09:38,237 --> 00:09:39,667
Excuse me please
178
00:09:39,797 --> 00:09:42,468
- Later Taro please - Ok
179
00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:47,669
When you take your examination, the lower
Cambridge certificate is not too difficult
180
00:09:48,079 --> 00:09:50,310
The exam is divided into 3 parts
181
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,471
There will be an oral exam and a
written one! Then comes dictation
182
00:09:54,601 --> 00:09:55,712
ls that his name?
183
00:09:57,402 --> 00:09:59,152
ls that who's name?
184
00:09:59,563 --> 00:10:05,034
The man who is going to be taking us to
be doing the examination! Dick Tation
185
00:10:06,445 --> 00:10:10,636
Dictation is when a person reads something
out aloud and another person copy it down
186
00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:13,466
Like a short fingered typist
187
00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:17,157
- Short hand typist - Yes please
188
00:10:17,768 --> 00:10:19,118
Excuse me please
189
00:10:19,248 --> 00:10:21,549
You can ask your question in a moment Taro
190
00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:26,800
When you've completed your examination,
the papers are taken away to be marked
191
00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:28,641
And you will be notified
of the results by post
192
00:10:28,771 --> 00:10:32,242
So please make sure you write your
names clearly on your papers
193
00:10:32,372 --> 00:10:33,802
Christian name and surname
194
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,083
- l cannot do that - Why not?
195
00:10:36,213 --> 00:10:37,323
l am not a Christian
196
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:41,804
lf you want to be pedantic about it
Ranjeet, write your surname and forename
197
00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:44,035
l am not having four names also
198
00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:53,487
The prefix fore in this case is spelt FORE
and means first for example "forefinger"
199
00:10:53,858 --> 00:10:58,929
Uno momente! Four finger - one thumb
200
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:04,170
- No not four fingers - Si, si
201
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:07,731
One, two, three, four
202
00:11:08,062 --> 00:11:13,133
- This is my forefinger - No, it's only one
203
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,174
l wonder if l should cancel tomorrow
204
00:11:17,304 --> 00:11:18,654
- Por favor? - Never mind
205
00:11:19,105 --> 00:11:21,815
Excuse please
206
00:11:21,745 --> 00:11:27,337
- Yes you can ask your question now Taro
- Requesto permission to visit toilet
207
00:11:27,827 --> 00:11:31,018
- Yes of course, sorry - Thank you
208
00:11:36,149 --> 00:11:38,260
Has anybody else got a question?
209
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:41,501
Yes, after tomollow, will we see you again?
210
00:11:41,631 --> 00:11:44,382
That depends on so many things,
whether l'm engaged for another term
211
00:11:44,512 --> 00:11:45,652
Or whether any of you decide
212
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,663
Whatever the results of your exam to
come back for a further course
213
00:11:49,113 --> 00:11:53,344
l will give you my address!
You can come and see me any time
214
00:11:54,194 --> 00:11:55,985
Quiet, quiet!
215
00:11:56,435 --> 00:11:58,505
Mr. Brown, can you spare
a moment please?
216
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,826
Certainly, l suggest you all
study your verbs until l return
217
00:12:04,797 --> 00:12:08,388
As you know, another teacher will
be taking the exam tomorrow
218
00:12:08,518 --> 00:12:09,548
Yes
219
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:13,380
The gentleman who used to be the principal
of this college will be supervising your class
220
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,270
He's in my office now! l thought it
might be a good idea if you met him
221
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,391
- l'd like to - Do try to make
a good impression
222
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:22,952
lt does no harm if he's
favourably disposed towards you
223
00:12:23,762 --> 00:12:25,993
This is our English teacher Mr. Brown
224
00:12:26,883 --> 00:12:29,654
- lt's you - lt's a small world, isn't it?
225
00:12:29,703 --> 00:12:31,173
Silence please!
226
00:12:31,303 --> 00:12:32,774
Exam in progress
227
00:12:34,264 --> 00:12:37,575
Good evening Mr. Cupello! All
ready for your examination?
228
00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:40,896
Sure, everything's gonna be "Oki talki"
229
00:12:41,786 --> 00:12:43,217
Buonasera everybody
230
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:46,618
- Has anybody got a pen? - Yes
231
00:12:46,748 --> 00:12:49,619
- But prease lemember who it
berongs to - Sure l will
232
00:12:50,589 --> 00:12:53,099
What are you doing?
233
00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:55,660
l tell you! l just been studying my verbs!
234
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:58,621
So l'm gonna write them down on
my hand so l don't forget
235
00:12:58,751 --> 00:13:02,262
- Typical of western dishonesty
- l think it's a good idea
236
00:13:02,832 --> 00:13:05,263
You want to write verb
tenses on your hand too?
237
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:07,774
No, l'm ok on verbs but
not good on pronouns
238
00:13:08,194 --> 00:13:10,624
- So write pronouns - No need
239
00:13:10,754 --> 00:13:12,945
l already write them on handkerchief
240
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:17,146
Smart!
241
00:13:17,636 --> 00:13:19,507
lt is wrong to cheat
242
00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:22,788
- Don't you agree Ali? -
Not at all, l am also cheating
243
00:13:23,478 --> 00:13:26,469
You have got something
written on your handkerchief?
244
00:13:26,599 --> 00:13:28,229
No, it is in my hat
245
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,831
This is terrible! lf you are found
out, you will be disqualified
246
00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:36,261
Old japanese philosopher he say
247
00:13:37,882 --> 00:13:40,753
"Man who deals flom
bottomo, usually end up on top"
248
00:13:41,923 --> 00:13:46,834
- You as well?
- Taro not good on adverbs
249
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:51,756
So have some written on chair seat
250
00:13:53,486 --> 00:13:56,397
Good evening everyone
251
00:13:56,527 --> 00:13:58,638
Nice to see you all are bright and early
252
00:13:58,768 --> 00:14:00,078
l expect you're feeling a bit nervous
253
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,159
- l am not nervous - Good
254
00:14:02,849 --> 00:14:07,760
- l am putrified - Petrified
255
00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:09,751
Well do your best!
256
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,561
l'm not supposed to be
here so l shall be in the pub
257
00:14:12,691 --> 00:14:14,482
- All right? - All right
258
00:14:14,612 --> 00:14:18,313
But if you all call in when you finish your
exam, l'll buy you all an end of term drink
259
00:14:19,933 --> 00:14:22,844
- Good luck Taro - Thank you
260
00:14:23,414 --> 00:14:25,795
You must be nervous! That's the first
time you haven't stood up and bowed
261
00:14:27,015 --> 00:14:29,366
- Good luck Juan - Muchas gracias
262
00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:33,407
- Good luck Giovanni - Thanks professori
263
00:14:33,977 --> 00:14:35,688
You're not too nervous to
shake hands, are you?
264
00:14:35,818 --> 00:14:39,129
- Si l am very nervous
- Nonsense, come on
265
00:14:39,259 --> 00:14:42,290
- That didn't hurt, did it? - Not a lot
266
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:44,560
Ranjeet
267
00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:49,252
- That's funny, where did that ink come
from? - Maybe your pen has got a leak
268
00:14:49,862 --> 00:14:53,773
- Let me see your hand Giovanni
- There's nothing there professori
269
00:14:53,903 --> 00:14:56,814
- The other one
- There's nothing there either
270
00:14:57,424 --> 00:14:59,454
There's something there now, isn't it?
271
00:14:59,584 --> 00:15:03,535
Oh no, my pen is got a leak as well
272
00:15:05,026 --> 00:15:08,647
And l suppose while it was leaking, it
just happened to write a few verbs down
273
00:15:09,027 --> 00:15:11,818
Sorry professori, my
verbs are a bit bad
274
00:15:11,948 --> 00:15:13,538
l suggest you clean all that off
275
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:17,099
- l don't seem to have a handkerchief
myself - Max has got a hankerchief!
276
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:23,461
- l got no handkerchief - What's
that sticking out of your top pocket?
277
00:15:24,231 --> 00:15:27,222
Oh that, lt's not a proper handkerchief
278
00:15:27,672 --> 00:15:29,303
Maybe Ali's got a proper handkerchief
279
00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:31,703
Let me see that handkerchief Max
280
00:15:35,274 --> 00:15:39,705
- l see, pronouns are your
weak point - lt's right
281
00:15:39,875 --> 00:15:41,096
l'll keep this
282
00:15:41,916 --> 00:15:44,267
How many other little
tricks have you been up to Ali?
283
00:15:44,397 --> 00:15:46,987
You're very quiet, are you
keeping something under your hat?
284
00:15:50,318 --> 00:15:53,509
Blimey, how are you guessing that?
285
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:56,710
l didn't!
286
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:00,951
While l'm thinking of it, Taro would
you like to stand up please?
287
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:06,153
Very ingenious!
288
00:16:06,803 --> 00:16:13,755
- Now Juan, where's your little
crib hidden? - Por favor?
289
00:16:14,965 --> 00:16:18,356
Never mind por favor! l know it's
somewhere, it's written all over your face
290
00:16:18,486 --> 00:16:21,597
No, no write on my face
291
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:24,518
This is no laughing matter
292
00:16:24,648 --> 00:16:28,189
- Come on Juan, where is it? - Under table
293
00:16:34,331 --> 00:16:37,952
- Ranjeet - A thousand apologies
294
00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:47,404
Danielle, Anna, Jamila, Su Lee?
295
00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:50,525
We no cheat! Plefer to pass
exam on own melits
296
00:16:50,655 --> 00:16:52,926
l'm grad... glad to hear it
297
00:16:54,256 --> 00:16:57,957
Some last minute coaching Brown?
298
00:16:57,897 --> 00:17:01,328
- No, no l just came in to wish them luck
- They're going to need more than luck
299
00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:02,438
Goodbye Mr. Brown
300
00:17:02,578 --> 00:17:05,809
- Listen, l'm sorry about
yesterday - Goodbye Mr. Brown
301
00:17:05,939 --> 00:17:08,130
Goodbye! Good luck
302
00:17:10,380 --> 00:17:14,772
Now l want absolute silence during
this examination, understand?
303
00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:17,252
- Same again! - Don't you
think you've had enough?
304
00:17:17,382 --> 00:17:19,813
How can l have had enough?
l'm still standing
305
00:17:19,943 --> 00:17:23,334
- You've been to the loo once
- That doen't mean anything
306
00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:28,816
You're making it up
307
00:17:31,306 --> 00:17:33,417
- Hello Sid - Same again, thank you
308
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,938
Half a bitter please Mavis and
whatever Sid's drinking
309
00:17:37,388 --> 00:17:39,769
- Sid tells me you're not
married - That's right l'm not
310
00:17:39,909 --> 00:17:42,899
- l'm not married as well
- Congratulations
311
00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:46,220
- l haven't even got a boyfriend - Really?
312
00:17:46,991 --> 00:17:50,141
- How about you?
- l haven't got a boyfriend either
313
00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,462
Not a regular one anyway!
314
00:17:52,592 --> 00:17:55,423
Look, have a drink on me
alright? These are for you
315
00:17:56,953 --> 00:18:01,425
- There you go Sid! There's your pre-exam
- Pre cheer! You learned it, aint you?
316
00:18:01,555 --> 00:18:02,775
- Yeah - Good old chap
317
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,186
- How's your Lil? - She's still living
318
00:18:07,276 --> 00:18:09,027
- You don't mean that - Yeah
319
00:18:08,957 --> 00:18:13,028
You know when l was courting her, l used
to worship the ground she walked on
320
00:18:13,478 --> 00:18:16,039
Now l worship the ground
that is coming to her
321
00:18:17,479 --> 00:18:20,910
- That's not a very nice thing to
say - No, but it's more sincere
322
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,911
- You take my tip son, stay single
- l haven't much choice at the moment
323
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,391
l can't afford to get married!
324
00:18:26,521 --> 00:18:28,902
- Still l've got Josephine
- Who's Josephine?
325
00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:32,433
- ls that your bit of
crumpets? - No my siamese cat
326
00:18:33,964 --> 00:18:39,515
- My students will be all hard at it
now - Yeah, there's a lot of it about
327
00:18:41,406 --> 00:18:43,436
l was talking about their exam
328
00:18:43,566 --> 00:18:48,428
- l shall miss them next term
- Cheer up son
329
00:18:48,568 --> 00:18:50,868
- What you want is another
drink - Yeah, good idea!
330
00:18:51,008 --> 00:18:52,959
Yeah, this time l'll have a pint
331
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:09,963
A penny for them!
332
00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:12,874
l was just wondering how my students
were getting on with their exams
333
00:19:13,294 --> 00:19:15,285
- l expect they'll be all right - l hope so
334
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:19,036
l won't know what to do with myself now
that the term's over in the evenings
335
00:19:18,976 --> 00:19:21,807
lt must get a bit lonely
for you living on your own
336
00:19:21,937 --> 00:19:23,647
l don't live on my own
exactly! l've got Josephine
337
00:19:24,818 --> 00:19:28,649
Yeah she's marvellous! l don't
know what to do without her
338
00:19:28,779 --> 00:19:32,050
She's very affectionate! Every morning she
wakes me up by nibbling in my ear
339
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,690
That must be nice for you
340
00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:36,571
- l didn't allow her in the
bedroom at first - No?
341
00:19:40,022 --> 00:19:42,172
lt wasn't as clean as she might be
342
00:19:43,423 --> 00:19:44,893
She used to sleep in the bathroom
343
00:19:45,823 --> 00:19:49,934
- That sounds a bit uncomfortable
- No, she was quite happy on the floor
344
00:19:50,545 --> 00:19:52,655
She must think a lot of
you to put up with that
345
00:19:52,785 --> 00:19:55,376
She does! Every evening when I
come back home, she runs up to me
346
00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:57,807
And rubs up all against my leg
347
00:19:58,427 --> 00:19:59,737
How erotic!
348
00:20:00,948 --> 00:20:05,539
- She's Siamese
- Oh well that explains it
349
00:20:05,989 --> 00:20:09,820
The trouble is like most Siamese she's
inclined to be a bit oversexed
350
00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:13,221
- She sounds it - l'm
thinking of having her doctored
351
00:20:14,711 --> 00:20:17,062
And l thought you were
such a nice fellow
352
00:20:16,992 --> 00:20:18,502
- Pardon? - Nevermind
353
00:20:18,632 --> 00:20:20,503
- Where is Sid? - He's gone
back to the school
354
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:22,423
That is if he can find his way back
355
00:20:24,994 --> 00:20:28,665
- Sid - Yes Miss Courtney
356
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,906
- You reek of drink
- l beg your pardon?
357
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:34,587
- Drink - lf you insist
358
00:20:35,437 --> 00:20:39,868
- l'll have a drop of your sherry
- You had more than enough already
359
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,590
- Have you finished? - Yes please
360
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,551
- How'd you do?
- l'm very well! How do you do?
361
00:20:50,441 --> 00:20:53,552
l mean how did you get on
with your exams?
362
00:20:53,682 --> 00:20:56,433
We hope we have not let
Mr. Brown down
363
00:20:57,963 --> 00:20:59,024
Miss Courtney!
364
00:20:59,364 --> 00:21:02,394
- Would you care for a sherry
before you go? - l'd be delighted
365
00:21:04,085 --> 00:21:05,225
Do sit down!
366
00:21:06,446 --> 00:21:11,037
lt takes me back... Here in the old office
367
00:21:11,727 --> 00:21:14,078
l expect you miss the hurly
burly of the school life
368
00:21:14,328 --> 00:21:16,888
Yes l sleep nights now
369
00:21:17,689 --> 00:21:19,959
- There we are - Thank you
370
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:23,950
You know Miss Courtney,
l didn't know you indulged
371
00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:26,321
l don't really, just an occasional sherry
372
00:21:29,452 --> 00:21:30,962
Ready for another?
373
00:21:33,053 --> 00:21:35,884
- Everyone got a drink? - Yeah
374
00:21:36,054 --> 00:21:38,925
l just would like to say
l wish you all every success
375
00:21:39,055 --> 00:21:41,805
lt's been great teaching
you and l shall miss you
376
00:21:42,896 --> 00:21:45,486
You have been giving
us much wisdom
377
00:21:46,417 --> 00:21:48,407
l am so sad
378
00:21:50,818 --> 00:21:54,089
- You are a vonderful teacher - Si, si
379
00:21:54,339 --> 00:21:57,330
- We never forget our
English teacher - Yes
380
00:22:00,661 --> 00:22:03,571
You are the nicest impe
lionist l have met
381
00:22:04,582 --> 00:22:07,332
Professori, lt's been a real pleasure
382
00:22:08,903 --> 00:22:12,014
Si, it won't be the same next time
383
00:22:12,504 --> 00:22:14,414
We owe you big debto
384
00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:16,775
Well cheers!
385
00:22:16,905 --> 00:22:18,656
- Cheers - Good health
386
00:22:21,386 --> 00:22:26,058
- l really must be going! l'm meeting my wife
- Just one moment before you go Mr Short
387
00:22:25,988 --> 00:22:28,938
How do you think the foreign
students got on with their exams?
388
00:22:29,068 --> 00:22:30,049
Terrible!
389
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:31,899
How do you think you got
on with your exams?
390
00:22:32,029 --> 00:22:33,340
Fantastic!
391
00:22:34,030 --> 00:22:35,940
The answer to the
"What is a sentence?"
392
00:22:36,070 --> 00:22:38,371
The chappie in the turban answered
393
00:22:38,511 --> 00:22:41,382
"A sentence is what you
get when you are sent to prison"
394
00:22:43,152 --> 00:22:46,383
The questions were being
very easy to answer
395
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:50,064
To the question: "What is the
past participle of l write?"
396
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:54,065
The Spanish fellow answered,
"l have wrotten"
397
00:22:55,476 --> 00:22:58,506
l answer everyting OK
398
00:22:59,037 --> 00:23:02,428
The chinese lady was
writing backwards
399
00:23:03,118 --> 00:23:06,789
Of course, l don't know how
they answered the other questions
400
00:23:06,919 --> 00:23:11,990
But if what l saw is anything to go by, then l
shall be very surprised if any of them pass
401
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,391
Goodbye Miss Courtney
402
00:23:14,521 --> 00:23:17,632
l'm very proud of you all!
l know you wouldn't let me down!
403
00:23:18,922 --> 00:23:21,593
- Shall we have another drink?
- Yes
404
00:23:21,723 --> 00:23:23,954
- Whose round is it?
- Yours
405
00:23:28,005 --> 00:23:30,995
Waiter! Oh dear
406
00:23:31,726 --> 00:23:34,236
- What are you doing with my
wife? - Nothing, l just...
407
00:23:36,087 --> 00:23:39,358
- You stupid fool
- l'm terribly sorry
408
00:23:39,488 --> 00:23:43,439
- Let me buy you both a drink
- No, no, no please, please
409
00:23:43,569 --> 00:23:45,950
Have this one on me!
31757
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