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It is estimated that there are some
10 quintillion insects alive
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00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,279
at any one time.
But forget about them.
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00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,440
This is about me, Lloyd. I'm a fly.
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00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,439
Finished. That's it.
I'm all finished.
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Oh, that's brilliant news, Gena.
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Finished what?
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My book. You know?
The one I've been writing for ages.
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You've written a book. What about?
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"A Fly's Guide to Outdoor Survival
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00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,559
All You Need to Know
to Survive Outdoors."
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Cool!
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What do you know about outdoor
survival? We live in a compost bin.
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Not always.
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Your mum and me met outdoors,
Lloyd. She saved me life.
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From a badger.
I wrote a whole chapter on it.
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Aww.
Aww.
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No. It's like they say,
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the best relationships
are built on terrifying
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and life-threatening ordeals.
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Uh, this makes sense.
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Obviously, this is where
I get my bravery from, my mum.
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I'm a born survivor of the outdoors,
just like her.
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Hm?
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You've briefly been outdoors
like twice,
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and only to the windowsill.
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And the doorstep, PB.
And I survived both times.
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I could survive much longer
if I needed to.
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Well, I could. I'll tell you what.
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I'll go prove it.
I'll go stay out there for a bit.
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Mm. Best not, Lloyd.
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Successful outdoor survival
takes training.
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Then train me.
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There's no harm in polishing
the natural survival skills
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you've given me. Ha. Yeah.
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Can I train, too?
If it's no bother.
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Oh, yeah. And I can help.
Hm.
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00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,239
Well, I suppose it is worth
preparing you for outdoor survival.
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I did write the book on it.
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00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,399
You're all going
to have a cracking time.
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Oh, it's gonna be brutal.
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Lesson one, Chapter one.
Welcome to the great outdoors,
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where you must survive
on your wits, cunning, knowledge--
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Anyone like a smoothie?
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No, thank you, Cornea.
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Why are we not learning
how to survive outdoors, outdoors?
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As I say in Chapter one, Lloyd,
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"You have to flap
before you can fly."
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Well, that doesn't make any sense.
I can already fly.
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This is training
before the main event.
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00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,439
Right, Mum?
That's right.
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When I say you're ready,
we go outdoors.
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Mmm.
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00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:54,279
Hm. Is that peach
and I want to say... bacon fat?
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That's right.
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But be warned.
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Outside, there are no cake crumbs,
no bits of biscuit,
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00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,960
and no smoothies.
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00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,479
Ugh! What is this?
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You don't want to know.
But there is a lot of it outdoors.
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00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,519
And if you wanna survive,
you'll have to learn to eat it.
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00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,520
Hm.
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00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,000
Ugh!
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All gone.
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If that's the worst thing
the outdoors has to offer,
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then bring it on.
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Huh? OK, Lloyd.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
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On to Chapter two.
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00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:45,159
What to do if you find yourself
faced with extreme weather.
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This is not weather.
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Hey! Quit it, PB.
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Stop it.
I'm the wind, Lloyd.
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You can't stop the wind.
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Any fly that wishes
to survive outdoors
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00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,919
must acclimatise
and adapt to freezing conditions.
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00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,999
Oh. Thank you, Abacus.
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00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,799
I feel acclimatised already.
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Lloyd, you can't just sit on Abacus.
He's your friend.
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What? He offered.
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I don't mind, Mrs Lloyd.
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00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,959
My shell blocks out the worst
of the cold.
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00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,319
And what if Abacus isn't around
for you to sit on? Hm?
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Not around? Aah!
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Why would I not be around?
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00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,439
Can we just skip ahead
to the proper survival stuff now?
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00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:28,759
You'll miss a lot of good bits,
flight fatigue, rain, windscreens.
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00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,200
But if you're sure.
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The final chapter.
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Tread carefully as we make our way
through the long grass.
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Carpet.
Imagine it's grass.
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00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:47,239
Because in the outdoors,
anything could lie hidden in wait.
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00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,639
Don't worry, Abacus. We've faced
birds, spiders, nothing can...
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00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,519
Aah!
I'm a hedgehog.
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Um num, num, num, num, num, num.
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Nobody said anything
about hedgehogs.
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00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,759
So that is not... that's not fair.
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00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,119
That's why you have to keep
your wits about you.
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00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,839
Grr! Badger attack!
Badger, Badger, badger.
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00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,039
Chicks is right. Buck does that.
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00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,439
Well, that's not very fair.
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00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,479
Dad and PB are hardly effective
stand ins for real predators.
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00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,760
I'm a spider, and I'll eat you.
Aah!
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Sorry, Lloyd. Did I overdo it?
You did it just right, Julie.
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00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,919
Oh.
Oh.
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Eh, I'm fine.
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Just trying to show
what it would look like
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if I was a fly who was scared.
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00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,359
Very convincing, Lloyd. Well done.
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00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,439
I'm just not sure
you're ready, Lloyd.
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There's far worse out there,
you know?
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Frogs.
Actual badgers.
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Fly zappers!
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Fly zappers?
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As in they zap flies?
Can we take a quick break?
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You know, Lloyd, you don't have to
go outdoors if you don't want to.
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00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,839
What? No, of course I do.
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All the sooner the better,
in my opinion.
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I just, um, need to give Abacus
a quick pep talk.
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00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,479
Yeah, because he's worried
about all this stuff.
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00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,359
Oh, it's OK, Lloyd. I'm fine.
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00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,559
No, Abacus. I think your pep
is pretty low.
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00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,840
It is?
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00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,919
I'm really not sure about going
outside, actually, Abacus,
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00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,519
the terrible food, the cold,
the discomfort.
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00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,559
And it really sounds
like everything wants to kill you.
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00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,159
Your mum certainly hasn't made
the outdoors seem much fun.
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00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,199
If I go out there,
I'll definitely get eaten.
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00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,399
Look at me, Abacus. I'm so tasty.
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00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,119
You're a real treat, Lloyd.
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00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,879
I don't know what to do.
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00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,479
Not going outdoors
does seem like the best option.
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No, I can't do that.
It's in my blood. Born survivor.
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If I give up,
I'll be letting my mum down.
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00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,679
I don't think I like
where this is going.
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00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,559
I have an idea,
but I'll need your help.
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00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,439
And there I was, right
under the snout of the badger,
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00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,719
about to get gobbled up
when your wonderful mother
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flew right in its ear, deep inside,
and started buzzing about like...
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00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,079
Malcolm. You're spoiling the end.
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00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,439
You can read about it in my book.
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00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,639
Where's Lloyd?
Are we ready to carry on?
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00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,759
Oh, no. Lloyd said to tell you
he's already gone outdoors.
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Outdoors? Real, actual outdoors?
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00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,039
With all the associated dangers
his mum told him about?
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00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,920
Yes. He said he was popping out
into the big old garden...
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00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,800
...and not to stop him.
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00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,160
Where is he? Oh.
Oh.
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00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,119
Oh, what's he thinking?
Get back in here, Lloyd.
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00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,440
You're not ready.
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00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,319
Right. So if you've all
had a good look at him.
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00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,039
Lloyd told me to tell you,
he'll be back inside later.
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00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,679
So if you can all
just be on your way.
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Wait, hang on, hang on.
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00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,199
If I've learnt one thing today...
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One thing?
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It's that Abacus
is always around Lloyd.
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So why isn't Abacus outdoors
with Lloyd, too?
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Abacus?
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Um...
Bird!
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Oh, no.
Lloyd?
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00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,439
Lloyd! Lloyd!
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Stay here.
No, Gena. Not on your own.
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00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,320
I don't want anyone else
getting eaten.
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00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,679
Lloyd!
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00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,199
Huh?
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00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,359
Stop, Mum, I'm here. I'm fine.
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00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:12,399
Lloyd? I thought you were about
to be eaten alive.
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00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,719
What are you doing in here?
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00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,799
I'm not hiding.
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00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,999
I mean, I'm just, uh, taking a break
from the great outdoors.
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00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,479
Uh...
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00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,479
I'm sorry, Mum. I just...
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I wanted to show everyone
that I take after you.
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And after the training,
the outdoors sounded too scary,
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so I didn't want to let you down.
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Let me down?
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I never wanted you
to go outdoors, Lloyd.
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00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,039
Why do you think I focused
on all the worst aspects of it?
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I don't want you endangering...
Wait.
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00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,919
If you're in here, who's out there?
Eh...
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Lloyd's outdoor survival skills
are sure to keep him safe.
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00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,360
He's fine.
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Aah!
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00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,679
Probably not as bad as it looks.
184
00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,479
Uh, that's not how a real
fly's head comes off at all.
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00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,439
Aah!
Huh?
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00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,879
How do you know how
a real fly's head comes off?
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00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,079
You can read about it in my book.
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00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,359
Lloyd.
You're alive.
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00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,959
He was in the keyhole.
Eh?
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00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,360
Then who was...
Aah!
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00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,319
Oh, that wasn't Lloyd.
That was fake Lloyd.
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00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,800
Poor Floyd.
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00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,279
I can't believe you bottled out
of going outdoors.
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00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,439
Hold on.
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00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,559
So this was all a big trick
to make us think you were outdoors.
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00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,159
No. So, Mum started it.
197
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,079
She made the training
as scary as possible
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00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,519
to put me off going outdoors.
199
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,759
Oh, so Lloyd tried to trick Gena,
and Gena tried to trick Lloyd.
200
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,639
Sounds like you do take after me
after all.
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00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,520
Except my trick worked.
202
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,839
That's a fly getting zapped.
203
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,919
That's smushed on a windscreen.
204
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,639
Hmm.
That's smushed under a shoe.
205
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,799
That's drowning in a raindrop.
That's a hedgehog attack.
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00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,079
Badger attack.
Hmm.
207
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,719
And I call this one, bird massacre.
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00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,799
Ah, thank you, PB.
They're very graphic.
209
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,879
Thank you. I ran out of red,
so I had to start using purple.
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00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,759
But you get the idea.
211
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,439
Finished. It's all finished.
212
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,559
What's finished?
213
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:22,039
My book. I've written my own book
on how to survive outdoors.
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00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,839
"Lloyd's Brilliant Guide
to Outdoor Survival."
215
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,480
Chapter one, stay indoors.
216
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,839
That's it.
217
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,439
Yeah, well, Mum's book
pretty much covers everything else.
218
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,920
Write what you know.
Exactly.
219
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,759
Captions by Red Bee Media
220
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,960
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
16539
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