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1
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It is estimated that there are some
10 quintillion insects alive
2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,279
at any one time.
But forget about them.
3
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,440
This is about me, Lloyd. I'm a fly.
4
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,439
Finished. That's it.
I'm all finished.
5
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:49,399
Oh, that's brilliant news, Gena.
6
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,399
Finished what?
7
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,799
My book. You know?
The one I've been writing for ages.
8
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:55,760
You've written a book. What about?
9
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,679
"A Fly's Guide to Outdoor Survival
10
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,559
All You Need to Know
to Survive Outdoors."
11
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,799
Cool!
12
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,639
What do you know about outdoor
survival? We live in a compost bin.
13
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:09,879
Not always.
14
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,879
Your mum and me met outdoors,
Lloyd. She saved me life.
15
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,439
From a badger.
I wrote a whole chapter on it.
16
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,279
Aww.
Aww.
17
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,559
No. It's like they say,
18
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:20,919
the best relationships
are built on terrifying
19
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,879
and life-threatening ordeals.
20
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,279
Uh, this makes sense.
21
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,439
Obviously, this is where
I get my bravery from, my mum.
22
00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,039
I'm a born survivor of the outdoors,
just like her.
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00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,079
Hm?
24
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,879
You've briefly been outdoors
like twice,
25
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,399
and only to the windowsill.
26
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,639
And the doorstep, PB.
And I survived both times.
27
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,839
I could survive much longer
if I needed to.
28
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,119
Well, I could. I'll tell you what.
29
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,839
I'll go prove it.
I'll go stay out there for a bit.
30
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,319
Mm. Best not, Lloyd.
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00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,879
Successful outdoor survival
takes training.
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00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:50,999
Then train me.
33
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,119
There's no harm in polishing
the natural survival skills
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00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,959
you've given me. Ha. Yeah.
35
00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,119
Can I train, too?
If it's no bother.
36
00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,839
Oh, yeah. And I can help.
Hm.
37
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:03,239
Well, I suppose it is worth
preparing you for outdoor survival.
38
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,079
I did write the book on it.
39
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,399
You're all going
to have a cracking time.
40
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,640
Oh, it's gonna be brutal.
41
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:16,839
Lesson one, Chapter one.
Welcome to the great outdoors,
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00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,719
where you must survive
on your wits, cunning, knowledge--
43
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,719
Anyone like a smoothie?
44
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,279
No, thank you, Cornea.
45
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:29,479
Why are we not learning
how to survive outdoors, outdoors?
46
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,439
As I say in Chapter one, Lloyd,
47
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,079
"You have to flap
before you can fly."
48
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,559
Well, that doesn't make any sense.
I can already fly.
49
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,879
This is training
before the main event.
50
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,439
Right, Mum?
That's right.
51
00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,120
When I say you're ready,
we go outdoors.
52
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,559
Mmm.
53
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:54,279
Hm. Is that peach
and I want to say... bacon fat?
54
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,680
That's right.
55
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,079
But be warned.
56
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,839
Outside, there are no cake crumbs,
no bits of biscuit,
57
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,960
and no smoothies.
58
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,479
Ugh! What is this?
59
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,079
You don't want to know.
But there is a lot of it outdoors.
60
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,519
And if you wanna survive,
you'll have to learn to eat it.
61
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,520
Hm.
62
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,000
Ugh!
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00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,759
All gone.
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00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,119
If that's the worst thing
the outdoors has to offer,
65
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,200
then bring it on.
66
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,799
Huh? OK, Lloyd.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
67
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,480
On to Chapter two.
68
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:45,159
What to do if you find yourself
faced with extreme weather.
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00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:48,519
This is not weather.
70
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,079
Hey! Quit it, PB.
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00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,199
Stop it.
I'm the wind, Lloyd.
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00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,639
You can't stop the wind.
73
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,119
Any fly that wishes
to survive outdoors
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00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,919
must acclimatise
and adapt to freezing conditions.
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00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,999
Oh. Thank you, Abacus.
76
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,799
I feel acclimatised already.
77
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:09,239
Lloyd, you can't just sit on Abacus.
He's your friend.
78
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,319
What? He offered.
79
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,039
I don't mind, Mrs Lloyd.
80
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,959
My shell blocks out the worst
of the cold.
81
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,319
And what if Abacus isn't around
for you to sit on? Hm?
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00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:18,959
Not around? Aah!
83
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,999
Why would I not be around?
84
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,439
Can we just skip ahead
to the proper survival stuff now?
85
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:28,759
You'll miss a lot of good bits,
flight fatigue, rain, windscreens.
86
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,200
But if you're sure.
87
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,880
The final chapter.
88
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:39,559
Tread carefully as we make our way
through the long grass.
89
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,319
Carpet.
Imagine it's grass.
90
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:47,239
Because in the outdoors,
anything could lie hidden in wait.
91
00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,639
Don't worry, Abacus. We've faced
birds, spiders, nothing can...
92
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,519
Aah!
I'm a hedgehog.
93
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,919
Um num, num, num, num, num, num.
94
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,639
Nobody said anything
about hedgehogs.
95
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,759
So that is not... that's not fair.
96
00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,119
That's why you have to keep
your wits about you.
97
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:04,839
Grr! Badger attack!
Badger, Badger, badger.
98
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,039
Chicks is right. Buck does that.
99
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,439
Well, that's not very fair.
100
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,479
Dad and PB are hardly effective
stand ins for real predators.
101
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,760
I'm a spider, and I'll eat you.
Aah!
102
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:21,159
Sorry, Lloyd. Did I overdo it?
You did it just right, Julie.
103
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,919
Oh.
Oh.
104
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,559
Eh, I'm fine.
105
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,559
Just trying to show
what it would look like
106
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,519
if I was a fly who was scared.
107
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,359
Very convincing, Lloyd. Well done.
108
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,439
I'm just not sure
you're ready, Lloyd.
109
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,119
There's far worse out there,
you know?
110
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,959
Frogs.
Actual badgers.
111
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:40,959
Fly zappers!
112
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,919
Fly zappers?
113
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,279
As in they zap flies?
Can we take a quick break?
114
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:49,439
You know, Lloyd, you don't have to
go outdoors if you don't want to.
115
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,839
What? No, of course I do.
116
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,479
All the sooner the better,
in my opinion.
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00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,639
I just, um, need to give Abacus
a quick pep talk.
118
00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:00,479
Yeah, because he's worried
about all this stuff.
119
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,359
Oh, it's OK, Lloyd. I'm fine.
120
00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,559
No, Abacus. I think your pep
is pretty low.
121
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:05,840
It is?
122
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,919
I'm really not sure about going
outside, actually, Abacus,
123
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,519
the terrible food, the cold,
the discomfort.
124
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,559
And it really sounds
like everything wants to kill you.
125
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,159
Your mum certainly hasn't made
the outdoors seem much fun.
126
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,199
If I go out there,
I'll definitely get eaten.
127
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,399
Look at me, Abacus. I'm so tasty.
128
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,119
You're a real treat, Lloyd.
129
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:25,879
I don't know what to do.
130
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,479
Not going outdoors
does seem like the best option.
131
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,839
No, I can't do that.
It's in my blood. Born survivor.
132
00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,839
If I give up,
I'll be letting my mum down.
133
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,679
I don't think I like
where this is going.
134
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:38,559
I have an idea,
but I'll need your help.
135
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,439
And there I was, right
under the snout of the badger,
136
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,719
about to get gobbled up
when your wonderful mother
137
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,639
flew right in its ear, deep inside,
and started buzzing about like...
138
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,079
Malcolm. You're spoiling the end.
139
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,439
You can read about it in my book.
140
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,639
Where's Lloyd?
Are we ready to carry on?
141
00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,759
Oh, no. Lloyd said to tell you
he's already gone outdoors.
142
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,879
Outdoors? Real, actual outdoors?
143
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,039
With all the associated dangers
his mum told him about?
144
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,920
Yes. He said he was popping out
into the big old garden...
145
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,800
...and not to stop him.
146
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,160
Where is he? Oh.
Oh.
147
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,119
Oh, what's he thinking?
Get back in here, Lloyd.
148
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:26,440
You're not ready.
149
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,319
Right. So if you've all
had a good look at him.
150
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,039
Lloyd told me to tell you,
he'll be back inside later.
151
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,679
So if you can all
just be on your way.
152
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,639
Wait, hang on, hang on.
153
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,199
If I've learnt one thing today...
154
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,399
One thing?
155
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,879
It's that Abacus
is always around Lloyd.
156
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,119
So why isn't Abacus outdoors
with Lloyd, too?
157
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,399
Abacus?
158
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,599
Um...
Bird!
159
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,519
Oh, no.
Lloyd?
160
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,439
Lloyd! Lloyd!
161
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,719
Stay here.
No, Gena. Not on your own.
162
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,320
I don't want anyone else
getting eaten.
163
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:04,679
Lloyd!
164
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,199
Huh?
165
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,359
Stop, Mum, I'm here. I'm fine.
166
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:12,399
Lloyd? I thought you were about
to be eaten alive.
167
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,719
What are you doing in here?
168
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,799
I'm not hiding.
169
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:18,999
I mean, I'm just, uh, taking a break
from the great outdoors.
170
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,479
Uh...
171
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,479
I'm sorry, Mum. I just...
172
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,879
I wanted to show everyone
that I take after you.
173
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:29,039
And after the training,
the outdoors sounded too scary,
174
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,399
so I didn't want to let you down.
175
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,959
Let me down?
176
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,159
I never wanted you
to go outdoors, Lloyd.
177
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:39,039
Why do you think I focused
on all the worst aspects of it?
178
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,119
I don't want you endangering...
Wait.
179
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,919
If you're in here, who's out there?
Eh...
180
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,280
Lloyd's outdoor survival skills
are sure to keep him safe.
181
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,360
He's fine.
182
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,639
Aah!
183
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,679
Probably not as bad as it looks.
184
00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:00,479
Uh, that's not how a real
fly's head comes off at all.
185
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,439
Aah!
Huh?
186
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,879
How do you know how
a real fly's head comes off?
187
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,079
You can read about it in my book.
188
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,359
Lloyd.
You're alive.
189
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,959
He was in the keyhole.
Eh?
190
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,360
Then who was...
Aah!
191
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,319
Oh, that wasn't Lloyd.
That was fake Lloyd.
192
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,800
Poor Floyd.
193
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,279
I can't believe you bottled out
of going outdoors.
194
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,439
Hold on.
195
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,559
So this was all a big trick
to make us think you were outdoors.
196
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,159
No. So, Mum started it.
197
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,079
She made the training
as scary as possible
198
00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,519
to put me off going outdoors.
199
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:39,759
Oh, so Lloyd tried to trick Gena,
and Gena tried to trick Lloyd.
200
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,639
Sounds like you do take after me
after all.
201
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,520
Except my trick worked.
202
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,839
That's a fly getting zapped.
203
00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,919
That's smushed on a windscreen.
204
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,639
Hmm.
That's smushed under a shoe.
205
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,799
That's drowning in a raindrop.
That's a hedgehog attack.
206
00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,079
Badger attack.
Hmm.
207
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,719
And I call this one, bird massacre.
208
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,799
Ah, thank you, PB.
They're very graphic.
209
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,879
Thank you. I ran out of red,
so I had to start using purple.
210
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,759
But you get the idea.
211
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,439
Finished. It's all finished.
212
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,559
What's finished?
213
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:22,039
My book. I've written my own book
on how to survive outdoors.
214
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,839
"Lloyd's Brilliant Guide
to Outdoor Survival."
215
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,480
Chapter one, stay indoors.
216
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:30,839
That's it.
217
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,439
Yeah, well, Mum's book
pretty much covers everything else.
218
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,920
Write what you know.
Exactly.
219
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,759
Captions by Red Bee Media
220
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,960
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation
16539
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