Original subtitles

It is estimated

that there are some ten quintillion insects alive at any one time.

But forget about them, this is about me, Lloyd.

I'm a fly.

What you looking at?

Lloyd lost his comic book down the back of the washing machine.

How did you lose your comic down the back of the washing machine?

It was quite funny actually.

Doesn't matter how I lost my comic

down the back of the washing machine.

What matters is that it's there and I want it back.

So, go get it. I'm about to.

I'm just checking for spiders.

Are there any spiders down there?

I don't think there are any spiders down there.

You're safe. Yes, thank you, PB.

Be careful, Lloyd. Don't worry, Abacus.

I know how to handle myself.

Ah. There you are.

Spider! Oh, no, there is a spider.

Lloyd!

No, wait, it's just a leg. Heh.

Guess a spider no longer needed it. Grew a new one.

He's being attacked. I'm coming, Lloyd!

Gotcha!

Lloyd? Are you dead?

Lloyd, you're alive. Unh, of course I'm alive.

I just got my comic and then I... Fought off a blood-thirsty spider.

Oh, heh. See, what happened was... And survived.

Wow, you're a hero.

I am? I am. Yes.

I found this leg, so I knew the spider was close.

And it had my comic. It came for me with its other seven legs.

How big was it? Huge.

This leg was its smallest leg.

But I escaped with my life, and my comic.

And this leg, which as I said, was its smallest one.

Just when I thought you couldn't get more amazing.

My brother fought a spider and lived.

Wow.

The world feels like a safer place

knowing I've got a hero like you to protect me.

Maybe they'll make a comic about you.

Do you think they'll include me as your sidekick?

No. That's a silly idea.

Cornea, Cornea,

you'll never believe what Lloyd just did.

He fought a spider. Oh, really?

I'd have thought you'd surrender immediately

for an easy death, that's what I'd do.

Oh, I'm so impressed. Meh. It wasn't that big a deal.

It was a humungous deal. Tell Cornea how you did it, Lloyd.

Well, this big spider had my comic, but I managed to fight it off.

And I took one of its legs. We heard the whole thing.

It was horrifying.

It could've eaten him and eaten PB, and eaten me.

Or tried at least. I'm quite chewy.

Doom! Come and get your doom predictions.

Catastrophe Jim, you should hear this.

Lloyd was just telling me how he single-handedly

saved him and his friends from a spider.

Saved them from certain doom, more like.

Lloyd is a spider slugger! Non-doom, non-doom.

We have a spider slugger in our midst.

Erm...

What do you want for this one? Whoa, that a spider leg?

You the spider slugger everyone's talking about?

Er, heh.

Well, I mean, the thing is... That's incredible.

Here, take any comic you want. It's on the house.

Er...

So, tell me, how'd you do it? Er, well, it wasn't easy.

The spider was huge.

You know, like the biggest spider you could imagine, but bigger.

It had my comic you see, so...

Mate, you deserve two comics for services to comics.

No, three.

Thank you.

Can I touch the leg?

Er... OK.

Ooh. Hairy.

This spider slugger business ain't too bad.

And that's when I saw my own life flash before me as a reflection

in the spider's eyes.

How did you look into its eyes?

You said you were riding on its back earlier.

Yeah, well, it was a very flexible spider.

That's what made it so hard to fight him. Thank you.

Tell them the bit where you caught its web

and snapped it with your bare hands.

Oh, yes, that's the good bit. So...

Are you the spider slugger? Can we get a picture with you?

Heh. Of course. Cheese.

Wow, thanks.

Ah. Where was I?

Get your spider slugger mugs and legs.

Mugs and legs.

So, basically, I used the spider's own web as a rope

and then I flew in an out of its legs

until they were tied together.

Hey, my team, pancake me, will ya? On the house.

Then its feet suddenly grew spikes.

You didn't know spiders could do that but they can.

And I'm like pow, kick me, pow, yeah!

And then a, er...

I believe that's when you used the static electricity

from the washing machine to supercharge your wings.

Oh, yes, that's my sidekick.

Always keen for me to get to the best bits. Heh.

So, I flapped so hard,

I created a vortex of super-heated air.

Erm...

It's him, the spider slugger. We've found you at last.

We've been driven out of our home in the sofa

by a most treacherous spider.

Forced out into this awful daylight.

I can barely see.

Ah. That sounds bad. Someone should sort that out.

Someone like you, spider slugger.

Yeah! Yeah.

What, me? Oh, no, I can't, erm...

I'm signing souvenir spider's legs,

and then well-wishing injured flies on the windowsill after that.

This is more important than that though, Lloyd, right?

It's not that I don't want to help.

It's just my packed schedule.

Er, well, I guess I could go now.

I mean, yeah, that's what I do.

Hooray! Thank you, thank you.

OK, let's go.

I've got to see this. That spider is doomed.

Are you sure about this, Lloyd? Sure, I'm sure.

I'm the spider slugger, aren't I? Heh.

I've just gotta do exactly what I did last time.

So, are you going in or not?

Yes, just you stay here, though, because it won't be safe in there

for you, for the non-spider sluggers.

Ah-ha. There you are, fiend. Take that!

And that! Lloyd,

don't forget to windmill your arms to temporarily hypnotise it.

It worked last time. Hi-yah! Ah, not the face.

It's not working. He's in trouble. I'm his sidekick.

I should be at his side. Wait for me.

I wanna catch another image for my mugs.

Plug, kapow! Splot! Lloyd, what's going on?

I...I was just warming up,

and then I was gonna go looking for it.

You know, and slug it. Why were you doing sound effects?

It's because there never was a spider, was there, Lloyd?

OK, look, I just found a discarded leg.

And I was gonna tell you, I was,

but then you started going on about me being a hero

and I liked that.

And then I started getting compliments and free stuff

and, well, here we are.

The leg was a lie?

Do you know how much time I spent making mugs for you?

I'm sorry, OK? I didn't think it would get this far.

I don't know about you

but I'm suddenly feeling very unsafe.

Mm. Three-course. You are spoiling me.

Oh.

Abacus, before I surrender immediately

for an easy death,

do you think anything I said I did before will actually work?

I doubt it, Lloyd. It was pretty far-fetched.

But we believed it.

Stop right there. That is Lloyd, the spider slugger.

Who?

The hero fly known as Lloyd, slugger of spiders.

Yeah, I fought a spider bigger than you.

And it was terrifying, for the spider.

It's true. Then, he tied its legs together with its own web.

And flapped so hard that he flipped it upside-down.

Yeah, and then, I grabbed it by the fangs

and made it bite itself.

No, you must be lying. That's not possible.

Where do you think I got this leg?

And he removed all the legs but only kept one

because eight was too many to carry.

That's monstrous. I don't believe you.

Oh, yeah? Well, how do you explain this?

The spider slugger was commemorated with a souvenir mug?

Then it must be true. Oh, no.

And don't come back. This sofa's off limits.

Unh. Well, we fought the spider. Your heroes and your home are safe.

Indeed.

Our eyesight may be poor out here but our hearing isn't.

Oh, so, you heard? Everything.

Well, I'd better spread the word. Average levels of doom restored.

The myth of the spider slugger has fallen.

It was all a lie. But the spider's gone.

So, still counts, right? You know?

Spider slugger.

I suppose, but we don't want this souvenir mug anymore.

Or this souvenir leg.

I'm sorry I lied. We forgive you, Lloyd.

So, how did you lose your comic down

the back of the washing machine?

I said it doesn't matter, PB. It was funny though, heh.

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation