Original subtitles

It is estimated that there are some 10 quintillion insects alive

at any one time.

But forget about them. This is about ME - Lloyd!

I'm a fly!

Oof!

Dare you enter the dark realm of Back Of So Far,

the gruesome ghost tour that'll scare your antennae straight!

I dare! I dare!

Does it say how gruesome? Are there dead things?

Sounds too scary for me.

I don't want straight antennae.

I like my kinks.

Don't worry, Abacus. This doesn't look remotely scary.

You're just saying that because you're too scared to go.

Don't be silly, BP.

Nothing scares me.

That's not true!

You're scared of the dark.

I like to see what I'm doing.

That's not fear. It's just practical.

Spiders.

Spiders eat flies.

Avoiding them is rational common sense, not fear.

Ghosts!

Everyone is scared of ghosts.

That's true.

I'm terrified of them.

There's no such thing as ghosts.

I'm not scared of things that aren't real. Aah!

Don't be so sure, Lloyd.

The world is strange and unknowable.

Maybe ghosts are real.

Maybe they're not.

But maybe...

...they are!

Huh!

It's OK to be scared, Lloyd.

I'm not! OK, fine.

Let's go to this scary attraction, right now.

You'll see exactly how not scared I am,

and then I'll say, "Told you so."

Where is Back Of So Far, anyway?

Oh. OK.

It doesn't look very scary.

That's because it isn't.

I'm not sure what you were expecting.

Pretty dark in there.

Will you be OK, Lloyd?

Ugh! I told you, I'm not scared of the dark.

I just like being able to see.

Ow!

See?

Oh, no-one here. Now what?

Welcome to Back Of Sofa!

Ha-ha!

Only the brave may enter Back Of...

I wasn't scared, I was just startled.

That was just a reflex. ...Sofa.

Four for the tour, please.

I want to see dead things.

Take this to light your path

and do not stray!

Who knows what may find you in the darkness!

And return that before you leave.

They get grumpy if we don't have them home by bedtime.

Come on, come on, let's go!

Your tour begins yonder,

in the Tunnel of Lost Souls!

Wow! Lost souls!

Off you pop, then.

Hold on. I know how this works.

If anyone else is about to jump out and startle us,

just get it over with now.

OK.

This way, if you dare.

Which clearly you do.

Don't worry, Abacus. Stick with me.

There is nothing to be scared of.

What was that?

Listen to the mournful wails, the grim lament!

Oooh!

Oh, my. There really are ghosts.

They are not ghosts.

They're... Ah! Lost souls!

Cool!

Oh. Is that you holding my hand, Lloyd?

Well, yeah, I'm making sure you don't get lost.

Stay close, Abacus.

Hurry! Do not dawdle!

Lest your souls become lost too...

Ahh!

Wait.

Ooh!

Well, Lloyd, you shot right after that tour guide.

I'm not surprised. This place is terrifying.

I wasn't scared. I was just sticking to the tour.

Like we're meant to.

Step forward and behold...

...the portal of distortion!

Oooh!

Oooh!

Ooh!

Sure. Let's see what's next on this totally not scary ghost tour.

Actually, I've had enough of not being scared.

Let's head back.

It's OK, Lloyd. It's just a bendy mirror.

Yes, I know it's a mirror and not a monster, Abacus.

Not a mirror.

A portal of distorrrrtion!

Let me have a go!

Gaze too long upon the portal of distortion

and stay that way forever!

Brilliant. I'm going to try for taller.

Beware.

Our tour nears its end.

The terrifying Tomb of Zofar

lies beyond.

Those of a nervous disposition should turn back now.

I'm not nervous.

I told you. Nothing scares me.

Turn back!

Who said that?

Turn back!

Turn back! Turn back!

Whoa! Turn back!

Oooh!

Turn back! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Turn back!

Oop! Did you see that? Oh.

You have disturbed the guardians of the Tomb of Zofar.

The tomb beckons,

but dare you continue?

Come on, Lloyd.

You have to admit THAT was scary.

For you, maybe. Not me.

I merely grabbed Abacus for his protection.

Where is Abacus?

Abacus? He's gone. Where is he?

If he has strayed from the path,

we are not liable for what fate may befall him!

Hey. Abacus! Where are you? Abacus?

Abacus?

Abacus!

We're coming, Abacus!

Lloyd, wait!

Do you have any spare glow worm lava?

Sure we do.

Not here, though. Back at the start.

Who's holding my hand?

I think that's me. Do you mind?

No.

Abacus?

Abacus?!

Ah! Abacus?

It's OK.

I'm not scared.

Nothing scares me.

Huh! Huh!

Both of you? No!

Come on. Wake up. Tickle. Tickle.

Oof!

AHHHHHHH!

Ahhh!

Ahhhhh!

Lloyd!

Abacus! No! Abacus!

He's died and his soul has been lost!

Ahhh!

You OK, Lloyd?

Abacus?

Yeah. Look.

I followed that ghost woodlouse and found all these moulted skins.

Moulted skins...

Yeah.

I think this is one of mine from a few moults back.

Don't I look young?

Yeah. Yes, well, I knew that, because there's...

There's no such thing as ghosts.

This is amazing.

Is this the Tomb of Zofar?

Oh, no. This is our ghost storeroom.

You're not meant to see this.

And now you've ruined the whole illusion.

Ruined it!

What is the Tomb of Zofar, then?

The gift shop. THIS should be the tomb.

Oh, no. Too scary.

We like our customers to return.

So, can I interest anyone in a 5% discount on their next visit?

Well, that was a waste of time.

I told you so.

Nothing scared me.

Except for the dark. And the ghosts.

And when you thought you'd lost Abacus.

That was nice.

No, I wasn't scared, PB.

I was concerned.

It's very different.

Uh, look me in the eye and tell me that.

Oh! For the last time, I wasn't...

Ahhhhh! Ahhhh!

Ahhhhh!

They said I could keep it if I don't tell how they do the ghosts.

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation