Original subtitles

Okay, everybody, I wanna introduce

the rest of the workout team.

This is Tracy and Jessie.

Alright, we're gonna start you off with a light jog.

Just jog in place..

'You want to really warm up those legs.'

'Get 'em ready for what's to come.'

Want to see a movie with me and Porky?

Can't, I'm doing my workout.

(female #1) 'And now, let's do some jumping jacks.'

'You're gonna wanna keep your core tight'

'and your arms straight.'

- Will you get me a water? - No.

[sputtering]

Ooh?

- Will you get me a water? - Umm.

(female #1) 'And now, let's go with some squat thrusts.'

You know it's dangerous to work out

without being properly hydrated.

(female #1) 'You're going to feel this in your glutes.'

'We're really gonna blast those glutes later.'

Ah!

My glutes! Ah! Ooh.

'Ooh! Ho! They're really locked up.'

[theme music]

[doorbell ringing]

- Hi, Mr. Duck. - I told you.

You don't have to call me Mr. Duck.

It's Dr. Duck.

Sorry. Um..

We wanna ask you something.

Yes, you can have my autograph.

Okay...also, we were wondering if you would

be the coach for our water polo team.

Coach! That's a title I've never had.

Or even lied about having.

- What does it pay? - Oh.

I don't think you'd get any money.

It's just for fun.

Fun? Let me tell you kids something.

If I'm your coach, you're not going to have any fun.

But what you are going to have is discipline..

...conditioning and wins.

If you want to have fun, then go over to Granny's

and ask her to be your water polo coach.

[instrumental music]

Okay, fine. We'll have a little fun.

Yay! Thanks, Dr. Duck.

It's coach...Dr. Duck.

What did they say I'm coaching?

Water polo? What the heck is water polo?

Hey, Pork. Ready to go?

(Porky) 'Give me a few minutes.'

What's all this?

I had a ca-ca-catering job this morning.

How did it go?

Oh, not so good.

T-They barely ate anything.

I d-d-don't think they liked my cooking.

What? Let me try.

Ugh!

Y-You don't like it.

No, it's fine.

A little bland maybe.

Let me try this guy.

[gagging]

Oh, Porky.

Where are you getting your recipes?

All these cookbooks I bought.

Hmm. What's this?

(Porky) 'Those are my grandmother's old recipes.'

Ah, I remember l-l-loving her food.

"Flaky, creamy chicken casserole?"

"Savory cheddar bread?"

"Butter pie?"

These sound delicious.

Why ain't you makin' any of these?

Uh, I don't know. They don't sound very healthy.

Porky, you're a caterer.

You just need them to taste good.

Hmm.

Uh, alright. Uh, I'll do it.

Eh, w-we should get going.

Th-the movie's going to start soon.

Do you have a mint or some gum?

That last one, ooh! Not good.

[bell ringing]

[whistle blows]

Okay, Bobcats.

Gather 'round.

Take a knee.

Let's see what we've got here.

One boy...two girls..

...and a monster.

No obvious athletes, none of you attractive.

- What's your name? - Emily.

Emily? I'm never gonna remember that.

- What about you? - Andrew.

Yeah, these names are impossible.

You know what, I'm just gonna call everyone Jennifer.

Now, Jennifer, any pre-existing injuries I should know about?

- No. - I get stomachaches.

- Not really. - What does pre-existing mean?

Whoa, whoa, whoa..

Jennifers, I was talking to Jennifer.

- Which Jennifer? - Okay.

I'm obviously gonna have to dumb it down for you guys.

So, you're Jennifer one.

You're Jennifer.. Wait, no.

You're Jennifer one, you're Jennifer two.

You're Jennifer three, and you're..

I was gonna say Jennifer four, but you don't look

like a Jennifer four.

So you're going to be Jennifer three.

And you're going to be...Emily.

But that's my actual name. Won't that be confusing?

Now, let's get in the pool.

Everyone, pick a horse!

[horses neighing]

Um, coach?

There aren't horses in water polo.

Huh, I have a feeling it's going to be harder to get them out

of the pool than it was to get them in it.

[instrumental music]

Umm, Porky, this is delicious.

What's in this?

Eh, b-b-butter, sugar, cinnamon..

Hmm! So good.

Umm, ah! This is even better.

What's in this one?

That's got butter, sausage, heavy cream--

(Bugs) 'Umm, no, this one's my favorite.'

'What's this one?'

That's not one.

'That's a stick of butter.'

Hmm!

Umm..

[whistle blows]

Hmm. What smells so good?

Porky's trying out his grandmother's recipes.

You got to try some.

Can't. Swimsuit season.

By the way, Bugs, from now on, I'm holding

water polo practice in our pool.

Why?

The other pool had to be drained and resurfaced.

Apparently, horses are land animals.

(Porky) 'Yo-you're coaching water polo?'

'But I didn't think you knew how to swim.'

I don't...name reason why I, as those children's coach

would need to know how to swim.

What if one of them gets into trouble and you need

to j-jump in and save them?

What if!

What if an asteroid hits the Earth?

What if robots take all our jobs?

You can't live by "what if," Porky.

[children laughing]

That's my team now.

chomp chomp chomp

Umm.

I can't stop eating this stuff.

And now, all I need is a party to cater.

Why don't I have a party?

You can cater that.

- Really? - Why not?

You get a job, I get to eat your delicious food.

Th-Thanks, Bugs.

Maybe one more.

[whistling]

Bring it in, everybody.

Take a knee.

[all inhaling]

[gasping]

Get 'em back up!

[all coughing]

Alright, alright, calm down.

You're a team now, so you got to start acting like a team.

You got to be aware of each other in that pool, got it?

I don't want you to listen, I want you to hear.

I don't want you to look, I want you to see.

Now, look at me and listen up.

Jennifer three, you're gonna be our captain.

- I'm Jennifer three. - I'm Jennifer one.

You know what? We've got too many Jennifers.

New nicknames, you're Glasses, you're Freckles

and you're Big Teeth.

- What's my nickname? - Hmm..

I say we stick with Emily.

It suits you.

Alright. Start playing.

- But we don't have a ball. - You need a ball?

'Taz, give me your ball.'

[grunts and spitting]

- Ha ha ha.. - See what's happening?

He's listening, but not hearing.

- Weh he he he.. - Dumb dog.

[Taz growling]

Argh!

My glutes!

[instrumental music]

Where are you from again?

B-Buttered scallop potato puff?

Umm..

Oh, guys. Do yourself a favor.

They melt in your mouth.

I can't stop eating them.

Umm! Mmm, mmm..

Umm..

Butter and molasses fritters.

I haven't had one since I was a little girl!

You got to try these cheddar cheese dumplings

with creamy gravy...umm!

Huh, are those butter and molasses fritters?

When did he make those?

Buh-buh-buh!

- What are you doing? - Eating.

Do you know how much butter there is in this stuff?

You are in training!

What do you think you're doing?

My son had a healthy lunch, and because I'm his mama

I told him he could have dessert.

Well, I'm his coach, which means for the rest

of the season, I'm his mama.

And his papa, his friend, his teacher..

I'm everything to this kid.

And if you don't like it, then you shouldn't have

entrusted him in my care.

I didn't, I specifically told Gossamer

to stay away from you.

When are you gonna listen to me?

What did I tell you about these recipes, huh?

You were right, the Gophers asked me

to cater for them tomorrow night.

[sputters]

Tomorrow night?

What am I gonna eat tomorrow night?

There's a ton of food here.

I-I'm sure there will be leftovers.

Are you kidding? Look around!

There's gonna be nothing left!

You tell those Gophers you're busy tomorrow night.

- With what? - My party.

Y-You just had a party.

You're still having it.

Tomorrow night, 8 O'clock.

And bring the butter pie.

squash

slurp slurp slurp

Men, this is your first game.

You're probably scared.

You feel like you're gonna lose.

Maybe even get humiliated out there.

Well, I know exactly how you feel.

You see, years ago, I was a small-time boxer

living in a tiny apartment in Philadelphia.

Out of the blue, the heavyweight champion

of the world gave me a shot at the title.

He knew I didn't stand a chance, but he liked my nickname..

...the Italian Stallion.

One day, I met this very shy girl

named Adrian at a pet store and we fell in love.

Her brother Paulie got me a job at his meat packing plant

where I would beat on the carcasses

hanging in the freezer.

For nutrition, I ate raw eggs.

'And for speed, my trainer made me chase chickens.'

Now, I know what you're all wondering.

Did I defeat the heavyweight champion of the world?

No.

But I went the distance.

And you know what that proved?

That I wasn't just another bum from the neighborhood.

- Wasn't that a movie? - You know..

I think they did make a movie out of it.

That's how incredible my story is.

Ooh, remind me to tell you about the time I was swept

away in a tornado and ended up in a magical land with nothing

but my little dog Toto and my ruby red slippers.

But right now, we've got a game to win!

On three!

(all) 'One, two, three!

- Bobcats! - Rocky!

Bobcats.

[door slams]

Ugh!

[grunts]

Argh!

Argh!

smash

[sighing]

Are you mad at us because we lost?

I'm not mad at you.

I'm mad at myself.

I'm your coach, your leader.

I should have done more.

I should have learned the rules of the game.

Or at least looked up the definition

of water polo in the dictionary.

But I didn't do any of that.

So a lot of today's loss is on me.

But most of it's on Glasses, since she's our goalie

and they scored 48 points on her.

So, Glasses, you're out.

Freckles, you're the new goalie.

Well, we'll get 'em next week.

Go, Bobcats!

Huh-oh, look, rabbit, I can't go

to any more of your parties.

That'll be five this week.

Please, I got to have a party tonight!

Porky's making buttered sausage biscuits!

There's too much butter in that food.

It's flat-out unhealthy.

Invite someone else!

I tried. No one will come!

You ought to lay off that kind of food yourself.

You don't look so good.

[cellphone ringing]

- What's up, doc? - Oh, hey.

I-I was just calling to see if you're really

having another party tonight.

You better believe it.

Okay, how many guests will there be?

Eh...why don't you make enough for 30?

You know what, 40, just to be safe.

beep

[door buzzes and shuts]

Well, that was a bloodbath.

Freckles, you're out.

Big teeth, you're our new goalie.

Bobcat pride!

[doorbell ringing]

I-I brought extra b-b-buttered sausage biscuits

like you told me.

Uh, who are all these people?

Oh, these are just some of my dear friends.

- Uh.. - Don.

Don, Of course.

Don and I go way back.

How do you know each other?

Eh...we don't. He paid me 5 bucks to come here.

Ha ha ha, good one, Dan.

- It's Don. - Don.

You gonna eat that?

[game time buzzer]

Big Teeth, we're only at halftime

but I can see where this is going.

[sighing]

Maybe we should just forfeit.

Why don't we just have Gossamer be the goalie?

Who's Gossamer?

You mean Emily? Emily can't be goalie.

He's too big. He'll block the whole goal..

[gasps]

Come on, guys...help me get this tiny red cap

over that giant orange head!

[all grunting]

[buzzer]

[clamoring]

thud

thud

thud

thud

thud thud

thud thud

[end time buzzer]

We won again!

One more victory and The Bobcats

are state champions!

(Bugs) 'Oh, that's great.'

'We should have a party to celebrate.'

[floorboard creaking]

What?

You look different.

Did you get a haircut?

No.

Are those new gloves?

No.

Huh! There's something different.

You sure you didn't get a haircut?

Hmm. I'll figure it out.

chomp chomp chomp

thud thud thud

You know, if Daffy's team wins..

- Uh! - We should celebrate.

Have a party at my place tonight.

Eh, Bugs...I-I don't think I should be your caterer anymore.

- What? - Those recipes aren't healthy.

N-No one's supposed to eat that much butter.

Ah, come on. What's the big deal?

creak

I-I think y-you're the big deal.

This is it.

I've never been a champion, but I'm about to be..

...because we've got this one in the bag!

The trophy's so close, I can taste it!

And believe me, I will be licking that trophy.

Now remember, Bobcats

we want to be gracious winners.

So after the game, when you are belittling those losers

as they get on their bus to go back to their loser lives..

...let's be classy about it.

- 'On three!' - One, two..

Where's Gossamer?

[gasps]

Just so I'm clear, Gossamer is Emily right?

Gossamer!

Gossamer!

The game's about to start! What are you doing in here?

[sighing]

I don't think I want to be goalie anymore.

What are you talking about?

You're our most valuable player!

But I don't play!

I don't do anything.

I just stand there like a loser.

The only reason I'm valuable is because I'm a giant monster

and I take up space.

And for once, that's a good thing!

Don't you want to win?

Not like this.

It feels like cheating.

And cheating hurts. Literally.

I'm sick of all those balls hitting me in the face.

You do realize if you're not our goalie, we'll lose.

I don't want to let you down, coach

but I think I'd rather lose and feel like a winner

than win and feel like a loser.

I was really looking forward to licking that trophy.

You're a good kid.

You're a good coach.

Come on. Who are you kidding?

I do look good in a swimsuit though.

thud

buzz buzz

(crowd) 'Falcons! Falcons!'

'Falcons!'

[fans cheering]

- Sorry we lost, coach. - Yeah, sorry.

Don't be.

Seeing you kids have fun out there, despite what

the scoreboard says, taught me a lesson that I'll carry

with me for the rest of my life.

Water polo is stupid.

I mean, outside of these dummies, who are probably

your parents, no one really cares about this sport.

'It'd be one thing if this had been football or basketball'

'or even baseball, but it's not.'

It's only water polo!

So go out there with your heads held high

because no one cares about water polo!

- 'Bobcats on three.' - Bobcats! Bobcats!

- Bobcats! - Wait! What are you doing?

I don't know how to swim!

Aah!

He can't swim!

thump thump thump

[instrumental music]

splash

Thanks, Bugs.

You got to learn to swim.

Wait a second.

I know what's different about you!

You're ten times bigger than you used to be!

[theme music]

[footsteps]

[elevator beeps]

[guitar music]

♪ You seem detached today ♪

♪ When I look at you You look away ♪

♪ What is it you want me to say ♪

♪ This is just like a bad dream ♪

♪ I give you love but you act so mean ♪

♪ It's like you've drifted far away from me ♪

♪ Laser beam ♪

♪ Why have you forsaken me ♪

♪ Laser beam ♪

♪ I feel you pulling away from me ♪

♪ All the times that we've had together ♪

♪ Are now vaporized ♪

♪ All the things we've destroyed together are gone ♪

♪ Like the ears flowing from my eyes ♪

♪ Remember that night in Quadrant 9 ♪

♪ When we blew up a Class Two omega sequence star ♪

♪ We gave each other pedicures and talked all night ♪

♪ And ate peanut butter from the jar ♪

♪ I've never felt closer to anyone in my life ♪

♪ And now you're sitting there ♪

♪ And you refuse to power on ♪

♪ And it cuts me like a knife ♪

♪ I can't believe you won't power on anymore ♪

♪ It's not like I can run out and buy another laser ♪

♪ At the laser store ♪

♪ Laser beam ♪

♪ I guess this is our last mission ♪

♪ Laser beam ♪

♪ I will miss your nuclear fission ♪

♪ I guess this is goodbye ♪

♪ Someday I'll have to try ♪

♪ To bring myself to forgive you ♪♪

zap

Oh! Or I could uh, just plug you in.

He he he. Common mistake.

♪ Hi yo ♪♪

[instrumental music]

Aren't you gonna have some butter pie, Mr. Bunny?

I think I'm going to stick with carrots for a while.

chomp chomp chomp

chomp chomp chomp

What? Swimsuit season's over.

[instrumental music]

[theme music]

That's all folks!

thud

Hey!