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1
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,120
Ah!
2
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,160
Ooo-ooh.
3
00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,080
No!
4
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,240
Ah! Uh...
5
00:00:29,440 --> 00:00:31,160
{\an4}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
6
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,760
Hello! Hello.
7
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,040
And, in case you didn't hear me,
hello.
8
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,200
I'm Greg Davies and this is
Taskmaster.
9
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,560
Look at this, just look at it,
go on. Give it a real good look.
10
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,000
Now stop looking at it.
And now, have another look.
11
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,240
And that is the kind of utopian
future the winner of this series
12
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:56,200
can expect - getting to do whatever
they like, whenever they like,
13
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,320
to my head!
14
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,000
So, let's keep
this competition going
15
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,400
and meet the five rambunctious
rivals.
16
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,360
Please welcome James Acaster...
17
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,480
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,040
..Jessica Knappett...
19
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,200
..Kerry Godliman...
20
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,200
..Phil Wang...
21
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,960
..and Rhod Gilbert.
22
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,160
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,800
And here, sat next to me,
24
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,640
it's my hypoallergenic fuzzball
of an assistant...
25
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,600
# He says he's over 6 foot
but he's 5 foot 4!
26
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,480
# Little Alex Horne!
27
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:31,920
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,720
I wasn't expecting you
to be wearing that.
29
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,200
I have no doubt you've got
a hilarious reason.
30
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,560
It's the health and safety
beard snood. Right.
31
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,760
And the rule you sent me,
through the post this time, was,
32
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,880
when I'm preparing a meal,
if my beard is more than 2mm long
33
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:54,000
I must wear the beard snood. So...
34
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,080
..on it goes.
35
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,520
And you're preparing food now?
Always, mentally.
36
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,160
Always thinking of your next meal.
37
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,640
{\an1}LAUGHTER
38
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,920
It's comfortable, it's made of very
soft cotton so it's quite...
39
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,720
{\an1}LAUGHTER
40
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,800
Oh, that is...
41
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,720
That is going to
fucking hurt, isn't it?
42
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,200
It already hurts a bit!
It hurts a little bit on the ears!
43
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:19,160
Oh!
44
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,200
Thank you. Thank you, Greg.
Thank you. Thank you for that.
45
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:25,560
Very good. Let's crack on.
46
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,240
Thankfully, it's now time for
the prize task and this week
47
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,880
we've asked them to bring in
the boldest belt.
48
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,520
Whoever's belt you select as
the boldest will buckle up with
49
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,040
five satisfying points
and, at the end of the episode,
50
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,920
the person with the most points
will take home all five belts and
51
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,680
vastly reduce the chances
of their trousers falling down.
52
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,520
OK. Kerry, Kerry Godliman.
53
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,040
What belt have you brought in
54
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,800
and why do you think
it's the boldest belt?
55
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,320
I brought in a wrestling belt,
because it's the boldest of belts,
56
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,680
I can't think of a bolder belt
off the top of my head.
57
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,200
And it's gold. It's massive.
58
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,400
And, to be a wrestler, you've got to
be pretty bold, haven't you?
59
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,160
It's gold, is it? Yeah.
60
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER
61
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:08,440
It cost £24.
62
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,280
£24? Is it plastic?
63
00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:13,800
No, it's gold.
64
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,240
It's actual gold.
65
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,240
And you think gold is bold,
obviously.
66
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,560
Rhymes. Yes.
67
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,520
Bonus point!
68
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,160
James,
69
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,280
what have you brought in?
70
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,840
Fizzy belts.
71
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,880
Fizzy belts?
72
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,920
Yeah, like you get in a tuck shop.
73
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,320
Visual, please!
Fizzy rainbow belts.
74
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,680
{\an1}APPLAUSE
75
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,920
They're cheap. Cheap.
76
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,240
So, I went into the tuck shop
and I said,
77
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,760
give me £500 worth...
78
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,800
{\an1}LAUGHTER
79
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,640
..of your boldest belts.
80
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,120
And that's what they came up with.
81
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,640
When you see it now, do you think
you might have been ripped off?
82
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,040
When you see it laid out like that?
No, they cost a lot!
83
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,240
The yellow bits in there,
they're gold!
84
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,360
{\an1}APPLAUSE
85
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:13,080
Jess, what is the bold belt
that you've brought in?
86
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,400
It's a seat belt pillow.
87
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,960
You attach it to your seat belt.
88
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,000
Here we go,
this is the seat belt pillow.
89
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,040
Right.
90
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,600
So, that goes on the seat belt and
you rest your head on his head?
91
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,280
That goes on your seat belt, or you
can just wear it driving around.
92
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,440
I've got a review from Amazon
for this one. Oh, great.
93
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,680
Takes really long time to arrive.
Quite poor quality.
94
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,760
Four stars!
95
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,280
Genuine review.
96
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,720
Is it a belt?
97
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,280
It's definitely a belt. It's a belt?
Yeah.
98
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,360
It's not. It has some attachments
for you to put it onto a seat belt.
99
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,640
I'm not going to lose this prize
task on a technicality.
100
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,920
Oh, I mean, you 100% are going to
lose this prize task!
101
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:57,960
Rhod Gilbert.
102
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,200
I got a belt. Is it bold? Yes.
103
00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,520
Let's have a look at it.
It is bold.
104
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:06,240
{\an1}LAUGHTER
105
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,400
That is a genuine stuffed
goat's head.
106
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,400
It's what I wear to weddings
in Wales.
107
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,520
Jesus Christ.
108
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,320
Have you ever worn that belt,
genuinely? I'm genuine!
109
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,200
That's the belt I wear to weddings!
You'll see at the end of the show.
110
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,520
Genuine, live... Not live, dead!
111
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,000
It's not live!
112
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,840
Phil. I've got a bold belt.
113
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:39,080
I got it made, custom made,
for this very purpose.
114
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,440
Good. Here's the belt.
115
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:46,040
So, I got to pick out the belt
strap and the buckle.
116
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,400
And this is how bold the belt was.
117
00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,480
When I asked for this combination,
the guy said, "Are you sure?"
118
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,480
Do you want to see the guy?
So that's him actually making it.
119
00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,960
I wish I'd got the guy
killing the goat now!
120
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:04,920
And I haggled with him for this,
I haggled with him. He said £50.
121
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,000
I said 30. He said 50.
And I said 40.
122
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,840
So I paid £50...
123
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,280
..which I think you'll find
is a nice, round, bold number.
124
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,240
Right, it's time to judge them. OK.
125
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,360
One point, James. It's not a belt.
Sweets.
126
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,200
What?!
127
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,960
Jess, two points,
and you're lucky, it's not a belt.
128
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,040
Oh! Kerry, three points. It's tat.
129
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,360
At the end of the day,
if you go to the trouble
130
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,160
to having a live goat's head
grafted onto your groin,
131
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,120
you're going to get
five points on this show.
132
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,040
Phil, four points.
Rhod Gilbert, five points.
133
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
134
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,520
Belts - tick! Next task, please.
135
00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:49,160
Yes, and we've got some
fast fiction for you.
136
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,440
Hi, Alex. Hello, Phil Wang.
137
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,520
Hi, Alex Horne.
That's too close to me.
138
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,560
Ooh.
139
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,480
Hello, James.
140
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,760
Write a ten-word story before
you reach the finish line.
141
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,240
You must be running while writing.
142
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,840
Must be.
143
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,040
Shoot!
144
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,840
Fastest across the finish line
with a proper story wins.
145
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,200
What do you mean, a proper story?
146
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,080
It's got to have a start,
middle and end.
147
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,440
Quite... I feel quite anxious
about this one.
148
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,440
Running and writing,
writing a ten-word story.
149
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,480
That's counting, running
and writing.
150
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,960
Counting, running and writing.
151
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,160
Could you read the last line
of the task, please, Phil?
152
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,920
Yeah, just give me a second.
153
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,120
OK, fastest across the finish line
with a proper story wins.
154
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,200
Your time starts...
155
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,240
{\an1}SHE SQUEAKS
156
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,520
Pardon?
157
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,360
Your time starts...
158
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
159
00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,360
Your time starts now!
160
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,920
{\an1}APPLAUSE
161
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,320
Let's get on with it.
162
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,600
OK, well, here's everyone having
a bit of a jog and a bit of a write.
163
00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,800
Phil, can you read the last line
of... Your time starts now.
164
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:15,840
Thank you, Phil.
165
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,960
How many words? Ten, please.
I must be running what?
166
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,640
Erm...
167
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,360
Are you running? Yes.
168
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,520
One, two, three, four.
There was a girl...
169
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,080
Partridge...ran...
170
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,840
Three-part structure.
Introduction, conflict, resolution.
171
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,480
She needed shoes!
172
00:08:56,520 --> 00:09:01,560
..and...found...its...mother...
173
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,280
Nine, ten.
174
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,760
..dead!
175
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,520
Did it say write or tell
a ten-word story?
176
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,280
All the information's on the task.
177
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,240
{\an1}LAUGHTER
178
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:24,120
Finished? I've just remembered
it's supposed to be ten words.
179
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,200
OK, I've got a story.
180
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,520
You all right, Rhod?
181
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:35,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE
182
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,280
Now, then...
183
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,160
..it occurred to me that they didn't
actually have to start running
184
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,600
until they had their whole story
in their head, did they?
185
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,760
Well, it was only running
while writing. Right.
186
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,600
But they all just chose to get
running and...
187
00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:50,440
Oh, they all ran the whole time.
Yeah.
188
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,760
Of course,
Phil Wang didn't write anything.
189
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,400
Well, shall we start with Phil's
story and then we can debate it?
190
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,440
Let's hear his story and then we'll
decide whether he wrote it or not.
191
00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,040
An ogre was hungry.
192
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,360
Ate...
193
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,600
Ate a child.
194
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,480
It was his.
195
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,760
Thank you, Phil.
And you've definitely written that?
196
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,920
Well, written, you know,
write a story is not...
197
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,600
It doesn't literally mean write.
198
00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,560
We say Homer wrote the Iliad
but we also all understand that
199
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,000
it was probably passed down
through oral tradition.
200
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:23,520
So you've used the oral tradition?
201
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,200
OK. I'll let him know. OK.
202
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,920
Thank you, Phil.
All right, thanks, guys. Good story.
203
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,960
Oh, yeah, there was
a pen and paper here.
204
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,720
{\an1}APPLAUSE
205
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,960
I also regret saying oral tradition
while my dick was out.
206
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,600
So, the oral...
207
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:56,080
You're using the oral tradition
of Homer's Iliad.
208
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,280
Yeah, well,
I enjoyed that explanation.
209
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,840
I'm tempted to buy it, you know. OK.
210
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,000
And I think the story was
pretty powerful.
211
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,760
Beginning - ogre was hungry.
212
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,160
Middle - he fulfils that hunger.
213
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:12,240
Twist - he's eaten his own child
which is an act of...
214
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,360
Happiness.
215
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,880
{\an1}LAUGHTER
216
00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,640
I didn't know you were coming to me!
217
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,680
Well, that's enough of part one.
Good riddance, I say.
218
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,640
Nasty piece of work.
See you in a few.
219
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,640
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
220
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:34,720
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
221
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,280
Hello! I have missed you so much.
222
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,440
You'll be glad to know its part two
and it's story time.
223
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,000
It is! Next up,
this is Jess reading her story.
224
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:52,000
The albino partridge ran away
225
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,320
and found its mother...
226
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,520
..dead.
227
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,720
{\an8}That's it. Thank you.
228
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,640
{\an1}APPLAUSE
229
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,720
It was a story. It was a story.
230
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,640
Let's just drill down into
some of the detail.
231
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,800
The albino partridge ran away.
232
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,200
Why did it run away?
233
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,720
Because its mother was missing?
234
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,480
No, because it had done
some bad shit.
235
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,640
I don't know, I haven't given it
any background!
236
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,120
I only had ten words!
237
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,840
Yeah, and she was very fast as well.
She was 24 seconds.
238
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,880
Oh, well, that's impressive.
It's a fast story.
239
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,120
My tactic was just take off,
run away like an albino partridge.
240
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,480
Who's next?
241
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,640
We're going to see a man
with the body of a writer
242
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,880
and the mind of a runner.
It's James Acaster.
243
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,240
The boy ran to France,
244
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,240
and I loved that boy.
245
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,520
{\an7}LAUGHTER
246
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:54,440
{\an1}APPLAUSE
247
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:55,720
Oh, God!
248
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,320
Good story.
249
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,120
Has it got a middle, that,
technically? Huh?
250
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,560
Beginning, middle and end. Yep.
251
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,320
There's certainly a beginning.
The boy running to France. Yes.
252
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,320
Boy ran to France. Yes.
And. I love that boy.
253
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,320
{\an1}LAUGHTER
254
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,880
Boy ran to France.
Now, that's a long way.
255
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,080
From Kettering.
256
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,760
He was Kettering-based? Yes.
257
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,920
I think that was implied.
Of course, sorry.
258
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,360
Sorry. Yes.
I'm no story writer. Go on.
259
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,000
So, when the boy started running,
260
00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,560
other people started joining the boy
running and he was inspiring people.
261
00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:33,600
Like Forrest Gump.
262
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,680
Oh. Is that a thing? Yeah!
263
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,320
He's done a lot of things,
he met the president.
264
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,080
The president of...?
265
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,240
Kettering. Kettering.
266
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,080
And, when we got to France,
I knew that,
267
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,960
just like all the other people
who followed him, I loved that boy.
268
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,920
And then he married Jenny.
269
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,680
OK, happy?
270
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,480
Yeah, I couldn't be happier.
Who's next?
271
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:02,960
It's Kerry Katona.
272
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,120
Kerry Godliman.
Godliman. Godliman.
273
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,560
It's Kerry Godliman.
274
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,440
Right, OK.
275
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,120
There was a girl that needed shoes
276
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,920
and got shoes.
277
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,240
Thanks, Kerry. Thank you. Bye-bye.
Bye.
278
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:25,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE
279
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,760
I realise it's shallow now.
280
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,200
Not necessarily.
281
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:30,280
It's about shoes.
282
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:33,560
There might be a profound reason
as to why the girl wanted shoes.
283
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,680
Yeah.
284
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,080
She'd never had shoes
her whole life.
285
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,680
Because of money?
286
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,280
Money, yeah, yeah. And...
287
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:46,520
She needed shoes, so there's
your set-up, there's your opening,
288
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,120
that's your act one. Yeah.
289
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,680
And then what did I say?
She got them.
290
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,280
And got shoes. She got shoes.
291
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,160
It turned out well. Yes.
292
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,360
Happy ending.
293
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,960
She needed the shoes.
294
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000
She got the shoes.
So, the middle section...
295
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,680
No-one had to die, no-one ate a kid!
296
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:03,080
And then she found money,
297
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,040
she found some money in the street
like Willy Wonka!
298
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,120
She found the coin.
299
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,680
And she went, I'm going to go to
Freeman, Hardy and Willis's...
300
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,280
And she deserved it because all
the other children who brought
301
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,000
those shoe coins to the shoe shop,
they didn't deserve them! Yeah!
302
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,840
One was spoiled! One was fat!
303
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,720
One of them got their foot trapped
in the measurer like that!
304
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,040
{\an1}LAUGHTER
305
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,360
APPLAUSE
That'll teach them!
306
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,400
You've really run with that,
you've run with my story.
307
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,040
I'm sorry, Kerry, but plagiarism
is not cool. No, I... No.
308
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,280
{\an1}LAUGHTER
309
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,280
So, there's one more left to see,
isn't there, Alex? That's right.
310
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,480
And last up to the starter's line,
it's the other Mr Gilbert.
311
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,680
How long's that?
312
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,720
Ten minutes.
313
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,800
And what?
314
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:51,960
Four seconds.
315
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,560
Count me.
316
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,160
Count you? Yeah, let's have seconds.
317
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,360
Ten seconds... Yeah.
318
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,480
..11... Yeah.
319
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,520
..12... Stop.
320
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,080
Can you not read it yourself?
No.
321
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,120
Do you want me to read it? Yeah.
322
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,160
Aah...
323
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,520
Exhaustive.
324
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,840
The man ran...
325
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,040
..for exactly ten minutes...
326
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,160
..12 seconds...
327
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,240
..losing.
328
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,480
Ten words.
329
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,080
Thank you, Rhod.
330
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:27,440
{\an1}APPLAUSE
331
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,280
Some good counting.
332
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,680
I mean, it's a work of art.
In many ways.
333
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,000
There were many other entries.
334
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,320
"Once upon a time there was
an old woman who lived in a shoe."
335
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,040
That's 14 words and you gave up.
336
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,960
"Good King Wenceslas looked out
but no feast. What?"
337
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000
And then you gave up.
338
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:47,760
And then you had,
339
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:51,560
"The Taskmaster fell
while trying to unzip his trousers."
340
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,240
That's another attempt.
Nightly occurrence.
341
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,440
Would have scored highly.
342
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,400
But, yeah, they were all abandoned
in favour of the ten minute 12 one.
343
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,960
I think, in their own way,
all of those stories were beautiful.
344
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,720
I want to hear the times and that's
how we'll award the points.
345
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,800
Let's party. Jess, 24 second story.
346
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,400
Phil Wang, a two minute 16 story.
347
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,840
We know Rhod of course,
a ten minute 12 story.
348
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,880
20 second story by James Acaster.
349
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,880
He leapt over the gate as well.
350
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:18,960
Kerry... Yes.
351
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,120
..much slower, 44 seconds.
352
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,920
So, it goes one point to Rhod,
two to Phil, three to Kerry,
353
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,200
four to Jess but five to
James Acaster who wins the trial!
354
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,960
{\an1}APPLAUSE
355
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,640
I smell a scoreboard. Yes.
356
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,040
They all have six points.
So, there we go.
357
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,440
Yeah. Amazing.
358
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,840
{\an1}APPLAUSE
359
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,840
Very good. Another.
360
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,680
OK, this is big news.
361
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,080
It's our first team task
of the series. Here we go.
362
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,160
Hi!
363
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,480
Ooh!
364
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,800
What's all this?
365
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,440
Welcome, Rhod. Thank you.
366
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,240
Is that what Phil Wang's wearing
for the whole series?
367
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,600
Phil, I mean,
I'm trying to keep eye contact.
368
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,840
I'm desperately trying not to look
at your genitals.
369
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,840
How are you? How are you?
I'm all right. How are you?
370
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,160
Have you looked at Wang's genitals?
371
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,440
Oh, you have now. You reckon?
372
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,680
No, I haven't looked at them,
I'm trying not to becau...
373
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,400
Why are you trying not to? Well,
because as soon as he approaches...
374
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,560
Maybe that's the task.
I think that might be the task.
375
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:36,960
Don't look at Wang's dick.
376
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,080
You can both pick a card, please.
377
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,240
Don't show me it,
or each other, yet.
378
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,920
OK, Kerry, can you show me your
card, please? Show you? Yes, please.
379
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,440
A five. OK. Jess?
380
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,560
A nine.
381
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,320
Right, that means you get this.
382
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,360
If you want to pop that on.
Shall I take your drink?
383
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,440
Oh, shoes!
384
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,920
You to have to... I've got to wear
the blindfold? Yes, please.
385
00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,440
And you two get to sit on those
stools. Yes!
386
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:00,920
We get a seat!
387
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,400
You've got to be joking?
388
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,120
That's for you, Kerry. Right.
389
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,240
Paint the best picture of
this still life.
390
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,520
The painter must remain
blindfolded throughout. Ha-ha!
391
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:14,120
The other person may not move
from their chair
392
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,560
and may only say
the following words.
393
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,200
You have ten minutes.
394
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:26,680
Your time starts now.
395
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,760
OK, here is the still life.
396
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:29,800
OK.
397
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,400
That looks like you've emptied
the contents of your underpants
398
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,680
onto the table, Phil.
399
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,840
{\an1}APPLAUSE
400
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,480
Interesting difference in the
greetings between the two teams.
401
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,480
A lovely hug from the ladies
402
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,680
and you exclusively talked about
Phil's dick.
403
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:51,920
Good.
404
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,680
I can honestly say, I've never been
so happy to put a blindfold on.
405
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:58,840
{\an1}LAUGHTER
406
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:02,400
{\an1}APPLAUSE
407
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,560
Let's all have a little rest.
See you in a few minutes.
408
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,120
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
409
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,240
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
410
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:16,600
Ah, hello!
411
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,720
Come in, sit down and shut up.
412
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,920
What were we doing before the break,
please, Alex?
413
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,720
OK, this is the first ever
boys versus girls team task.
414
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,720
Blindfolded painting using only
the official authorised words of
415
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:31,400
banana, down, left, less, more,
pick, right, up and whoops.
416
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,560
Here we go.
417
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,640
Guys...
418
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,120
..you could grab my hand and
literally make me paint it.
419
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,520
That's not against the rules.
420
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,360
Right. That is...
421
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,720
..banana!
422
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,120
Is this the still life? Whoops!
Whoops.
423
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,960
Banana to that last question. OK.
424
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,200
Only those words, please, Kerry.
425
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,440
Banana for yes.
426
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,680
Yes.
427
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:56,720
Banana.
428
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,480
{\an1}LAUGHTER
429
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,480
Banana, eggs.
430
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,080
Banana. Melon.
Banana.
431
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:14,480
Say more when I've got
the right place. More.
432
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,160
OK, I'm drawing a pineapple.
433
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,320
{\an1}LAUGHTER
434
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,600
Down.
435
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,600
Pick. Up.
436
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,160
Wait...
437
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,600
Banana, banana, banana!
438
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,400
Banana, banana, banana.
439
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:35,800
Banana! Banana, banana, banana,
banana, banana, banana.
440
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,000
More! Less.
More. Less.
441
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,320
More. Less.
Whoops, more, more.
442
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:43,360
Right?
443
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,360
Left. Left. Left.
444
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,920
Banana.
445
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,680
Melon time. Banana!
446
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,360
Right, banana. Banana.
447
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,480
Here?
448
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,800
Right.
449
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,320
Whoops. Whoops.
450
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,680
{\an1}LAUGHTER
451
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,960
Whoops, right, banana. Left, banana.
452
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,800
Oh, you mean...
453
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:07,560
Like that? Left banana.
454
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,440
How's that? Banana.
455
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,880
Yes! Banana!
456
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,600
{\an1}WHISTLE
457
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,040
More, more, more.
458
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,440
{\an1}MUMBLING
459
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:17,600
{\an1}WHISTLE
460
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,240
Banana.
461
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,320
Banana whoops.
462
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,720
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Not bad at all.
463
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,120
{\an1}APPLAUSE
464
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,160
The females don't look happy.
465
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,440
I'm livid. That's cheating,
isn't it?
466
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,200
What? Holding the hands
and doing it on their behalf.
467
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,360
Didn't say on the card,
didn't say anything about it.
468
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,520
That was not the intention
of the task, was it, really?
469
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,720
I think you've got to think outside
the box with these things.
470
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,040
Very much so. Yeah.
471
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,360
Well, it's delicate, isn't it?
472
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,320
Because sometimes, ooh,
think outside the box.
473
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,160
Other times, cheating.
474
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:53,720
You want to see the picture? Yeah.
475
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,920
Oh. Wow.
476
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,800
Given they cheated,
I expected more. Yeah.
477
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:00,840
The duck's good, mind.
478
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,040
Yeah, the duck's good but the rest's
crap.
479
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,120
Here's the girls'.
480
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,080
Wow. It's good, isn't it?
481
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,360
Which one's the picture?
482
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,720
'You want to see them
next to each other?
You'll have to judge them.
483
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,200
This is the two of them.
I'm going to judge them as well.
484
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,240
It's up to you, Greg.
485
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,840
I think it's close but
one of the teams didn't cheat.
486
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,800
To be fair to the boys, look at
the texture in that melon. Yeah.
487
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,240
Look at the texture!
Look at the texture in our melon!
488
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,480
Yours looks like spiralized
courgette!
489
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,360
It does. All right, you've got to
score it.
490
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,800
There's normally five points to
split between the two teams. Yeah.
491
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,720
For me, the sheer detail
in that duck...
492
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:43,320
The sheer detail in that duck...
You love that duck. ..snatches it.
493
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:45,800
So I'm going to give the boys
three points and the ladies two.
494
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,720
Three to the boys, two to the girls!
495
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,680
{\an1}APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
496
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,760
Fine, thank you.
497
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,440
More, please, more.
498
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,240
Up more, less banana,
up less, banana, whoops!
499
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,960
Here we go.
500
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:11,760
Hi. Oh, hello.
501
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,080
Oh, my God!
Oh, what's happened?
502
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,440
I love these!
503
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,960
Foghorns!
504
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,440
{\an1}SHE HONKS LIKE A HORN
505
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,000
It's the sound of a party.
506
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,840
Predict what Jessica Knappett...
507
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,880
Kerry Godliman...
508
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:27,920
Phil Wang...
509
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:28,960
Rhod Gilbert...
510
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,800
James Acaster will do with one
of the objects
511
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,840
and do something yourself with
one of the objects.
512
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,040
You also get five points
if Rhod Gilbert...
513
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,080
Phil Wang...
514
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:38,120
Kerry Godliman...
515
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,160
Jessica Knappett...
516
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,440
James Acaster correctly predicts
your own action.
517
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,880
What a good task.
518
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,880
Right...
519
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,920
{\an1}APPLAUSE
520
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,560
Firstly, we should definitely
shine a light on your impression.
521
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,600
Thank you. Perhaps you'd like
to do it live.
522
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:57,040
{\an1}SHE HONKS LIKE A HORN
523
00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:58,360
{\an1}LAUGHTER
524
00:24:58,400 --> 00:24:59,880
Very good.
525
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:03,200
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
526
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,480
So, the idea is you want to be
predictable, and good at predicting.
527
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,280
We're going to start with Rhod
and Jess making their prediction.
528
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,640
'I know what James Acaster's
going to do. That's easy.
529
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,440
'Acaster will take the tenner,
he's skint.
530
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,000
{\an4}LAUGHTER
531
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,000
What do you think Kerry Godliman
will do with one of these things?
532
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,040
'I think she'll be like that.
"Can I have this?"
533
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,680
{\an4}LAUGHTER
534
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:28,680
OK... "Free money, brilliant!"
That's what she'll do. OK.
535
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,080
{\an1}APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
536
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,880
That was a terrible
impression, I'm so sorry.
537
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,840
I think her impression of the horn
is better then her impression of me.
538
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:42,160
I think so, too.
539
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,760
You don't think that you sound like
a drunk Phil Mitchell?
540
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,440
{\an1}LAUGHTER
541
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:51,720
James, Rhod suggested that
you're struggling a bit financially.
542
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,760
I spent 500 quid
on fizzy belts.
543
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,240
{\an1}LAUGHTER
544
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,760
{\an1}APPLAUSE
545
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,800
Makes sense. Yeah?
Absolutely makes sense.
546
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,880
All right. Well, let's see
if they got it right.
547
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,920
I think you already knew
I was going to do this one.
548
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:12,040
And I would hope that Rhod would
also know that I'd do this.
549
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,880
Why are you doing it? Huh?
Why are you doing it?
550
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,040
Cos I'm punk!
551
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,480
{\an1}AIR HORN SOUNDS QUIETLY
552
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,880
{\an1}LAUGHTER
553
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,520
Do you have to wear these
for that?
554
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,960
And I think I'll just take
that tenner. OK.
555
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,800
{\an1}APPLAUSE
556
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,320
See you later, then.
Thanks, Kerry. Bye. Bye.
557
00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,360
{\an1}APPLAUSE
558
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,880
Well done. So predictable.
Well done. Very predictable.
559
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,560
{\an1}APPLAUSE
560
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,720
So, for that, Jess and Kerry both
get five points for that,
561
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,440
and Kerry gets £10.
562
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,520
You want to see the rest? Yep. Yeah?
563
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,560
OK, this is all the rest
doing all the rest. Here we go.
564
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,800
All I've got to do is get
in to Phil Wang's head.
565
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,920
Think about what he thinks of me.
566
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,480
I know he's a big fan.
567
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,680
Right.
568
00:26:58,720 --> 00:26:59,920
Jess Knappett...
569
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,920
I mean, I think she'll just bite the
apple.
570
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,480
Although...
571
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,480
Surely everyone wants to do that?
572
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,680
Are you changing your answer? I
feel like I am. Because...
573
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,840
..surely everybody wants to do that.
574
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,600
I'm just going to do the noise
myself.
575
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,840
{\an1}JESS IMITATES AIR HORN
576
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,920
{\an1}BELL DINGS
577
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:31,920
Come on, Phil. Come to me.
Come to me, Phil.
578
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,560
Wang reckons I'm going to
blow the air horn.
579
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:42,040
I think Rhod Gilbert, being a proud
Welshman, is going to blow
580
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,200
an air horn at a picture of the
Queen while screaming.
581
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:53,120
Am I allowed to do it in your face?
If you want.
582
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:57,880
{\an1}AIR HORN BLARES
583
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,760
{\an1}BELL DINGS
584
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,920
Right, I reckon Phil...
585
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,080
..would do this.
586
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:11,800
There is an mischievousness to
him. Naughty boy? Naughty boy!
587
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,280
Sounds a bit seedy, doesn't it,
that?
588
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:24,760
Wang!
589
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:25,800
{\an1}KLAXON SOUNDS
590
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:34,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE
591
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,960
Kerry had a tough job predicting
that Phil would have done that.
592
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,880
Yeah, of course. Of
course she did. Yeah.
593
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,360
And you're the only person who
didn't understand
594
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,960
the importance of predictability.
595
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:47,520
Well, I presumed she knew I liked
saying my name from time to time.
596
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,240
How would I know that? Why would I
know that? Well, it's Wang, innit?
597
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,520
This is the...
598
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,480
And a boy's got to eat.
599
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,800
A naughty boy got to eat and say
Wang. Yeah.
600
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,240
I didn't see that coming.
601
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,320
I don't see why everyone's looking
at me like I'm the weird one, here.
602
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:03,520
{\an1}LAUGHTER
603
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,600
What it means, they are actually all
get five points - except for Jess,
604
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,360
who gets 10, because
she is the only one
605
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,400
who predicted
and was predicted correctly.
606
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:17,840
Let's have a look at the scoreboard.
See the scoreboard? Yeah.
607
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,200
With those 10 points, obviously,
608
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,120
Jess has moved to 18 points
and taken the lead.
609
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,280
Wow. Wow.
610
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:23,480
{\an1}APPLAUSE
611
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,680
{\an1}JESS IMITATES AIR HORN
612
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,040
She's catchable, though.
613
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,440
What's next, please, Alex? OK,
it's time for round one...
614
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,800
Sorry, it's time for
Around One. Ready?
615
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,960
Hello, hello. Hello.
616
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,920
Bonjour. Hello, Rhod.
617
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:51,960
Hello, James.
618
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
619
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,600
"Draw the biggest and best circle."
620
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,840
"Biggest and best circle wins."
621
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,480
"Your circle must be completed
in one single sweep."
622
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:10,920
So I'm like a...you want me to be
an enormous human compass? Mmm, OK.
623
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,800
"You have 10 minutes. Your time
starts now."
624
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:19,760
Right. I'm going to go outside.
You're coming?
625
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,240
Could I have some chalk?
626
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,600
There's probably some in the shed.
OK.
627
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,240
You haven't got a roll of paper?
628
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:26,840
Wallpaper would be good,
wouldn't it?
629
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,320
No. No, no. Haven't got any of that.
630
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,920
Well, I'm restricted by the
limitations of what you've got.
631
00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:32,360
Very much so.
632
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,400
{\an1}LAUGHTER
633
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,440
{\an1}APPLAUSE
634
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,640
I'd be interested to see if this is
the first and only time that
635
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,400
you get angry about having the
things that you do restricted
636
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,720
by the format of this show.
637
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,960
No, I think I get angry quite a
lot. Yeah, you do.
638
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
639
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,080
Let's see some stuff.
640
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,840
All right, we'll start with two
comedians who've already
641
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,240
shortened their names, but I've made
them even shorter - it's Phi and Je.
642
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,520
Phi and Je. Ready?
643
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,080
Would you mind if I mark straight
onto your drive?
644
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,080
I think this will be over
quite quickly.
645
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,680
OK.
646
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,840
Right. Shall I go? Good luck.
647
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,920
God, it's so much harder than
I thought it was going to be.
648
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:23,960
Here we go.
649
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,200
Oh, no!
650
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,960
Bit of slack, there.
651
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,720
Oh, sugar! Oh, come on, mate!
652
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,360
Mmm.
653
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:41,960
So it turns out some rocks are
better for drawing on
654
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,240
than other rocks.
655
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,480
{\an1}LAUGHTER
656
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,480
That's a lovely straight line to
finish it with!
657
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,800
I've lost pretty much all the
colour.
658
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,280
How did that go so wrong?!
659
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,320
Ooh...
660
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,040
Big circle. Yeah.
661
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:14,880
Um, I think...
Where is it? It was here.
662
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:16,840
{\an1}LAUGHTER
663
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:21,880
{\an1}APPLAUSE
664
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,600
What happened, then, Jess?
665
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,800
My rope came loose,
666
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:33,200
and that's where the straight line
began and the circle ended. Yeah.
667
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,920
But what you did do is you chose a
writing implement that would
668
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,680
make an actual mark on...
I did, yeah.
669
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:41,240
I felt that was aimed at me.
670
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,360
KERRY: What did you use? It was a
marker pen.
671
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,480
It was a highlighter. It was a
highlighter.
672
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,600
Highlighter, sorry. It was a
highlighter.
673
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:51,320
I mean, the name highlighter
promises more than it delivers.
674
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,960
It was very unfortunate that you
cannot see my circle.
675
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,320
I tried to measure his. Jess's was
quite easy to measure,
676
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,960
because it had a length and breadth,
which is unusual for a circle.
677
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,880
And hers was 38.5 square metres.
Lovely.
678
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,360
Another part comes to an end,
679
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:10,320
meaning it's time to wade through
another slurry of miserable adverts.
680
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,280
But some belts will be won in part
four, so it's not all bad.
681
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:18,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE
682
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,480
{\an1}APPLAUSE
683
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,680
It is part four.
What's been happening?
684
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,400
They've been drawing circles, Greg.
685
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,440
Well, they've been trying to draw
circles.
686
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,280
We've seen Jess's,
we couldn't see Phil's.
687
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,480
Next up, it's "James A Caster".
688
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,160
What does the A stand for? Nobody
knows.
689
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,560
It's like Michael J Fox or
Jesus H Christ. Ready?
690
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:43,720
{\an1}LAUGHTER
691
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:44,760
Here's his attempt.
692
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,960
I know what I'm going to do.
You know what you're going to do?
693
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,920
I'm going to cycle round in circles
on the bike
694
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,320
was spinning this round my arm.
695
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,480
OK, well, you've got one go at
this. Good luck.
696
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,680
Yeah? Well, good luck to you.
697
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,280
This is how you sweep a circle. Are
you ready?
698
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:00,320
Yes.
699
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:03,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER
700
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:11,120
{\an1}JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS
701
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,600
You're still doing it. And look
where I landed. In a circle.
702
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:21,200
Near a circle.
703
00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:23,880
How many circles have been
involved in this so far?
704
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,480
There's those wheels,
already circular.
705
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,840
This was going in circles round me,
that's a circle.
706
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,280
I landed in the circle.
707
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,040
It's not most circles. Huh?
708
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,000
It's biggest and best circle.
709
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:36,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
710
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:38,440
Yeah, but you add them
all up together.
711
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,080
You should add them all up.
712
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,640
I'll add them all up. And then
that's...that's the...
713
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:43,720
..that's the task.
714
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,080
That was the real task. OK.
Thanks, James.
715
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,480
I really enjoyed your circles.
716
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:52,240
Thank you, Alex. Goodbye.
717
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:56,760
{\an1}APPLAUSE
718
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:04,040
{\an1}LAUGHTER
719
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,160
Good evening.
720
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,400
{\an1}LAUGHTER
721
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,560
OK. Explain yourself.
722
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,000
I thought... You thought,
723
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,400
"I've been told I should draw the
biggest circle, but what
724
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:17,280
"I'm going to do is ride around
aimlessly on a bike
725
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,760
"whilst badly spinning a hula hoop.
726
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:22,560
'LAUGHTER
"And then I'm going to crash,
accidentally notice there's another
727
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,120
"circle on the floor, and try and
claim that as part of my attempt."
728
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,160
That's my reading of what I saw.
729
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,080
Have you got anything different
to add?
730
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:32,560
My eyes are circles?
731
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
732
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,320
Do you want to see the last two?
Yes, of course! OK, here they are.
733
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,480
By far the oldest people I've ever
introduced,
734
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,840
from the current panel, it's Rhod
and Kerry.
735
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,160
Right. Is there a map of the world
here?
736
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,160
Do you want me to go and see if I
can find one? Yeah.
737
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,560
Get a map of the world. That'd be
one idea.
738
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,960
I'm limited by the size of this
table, aren't I?
739
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,880
I can only do it as big as what I've
been given to work with.
740
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,120
Do you want a bigger table? I want a
bigger piece of paper,
741
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,160
if I'm honest.
742
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,320
It's just the same thing!
743
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,320
HE GROANS WITH EFFORT
Jeez!
744
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,960
Now then, it's all got to be done in
one swoop, hasn't it? Sweep. Sweep.
745
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,320
Done.
746
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:31,800
Argh!
747
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,120
Hm. This isn't massive.
748
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,200
I wouldn't use the word "massive"
to describe this. Mm.
749
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,640
I mean, there's a massive surface,
white surface there,
750
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,520
but you didn't give me options.
LAUGHTER
751
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,160
I've just been given a pile of A4.
752
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,600
Oh!
753
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,600
I can go outside?
You do whatever you want, Kerry.
754
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,800
I could draw a massive circle in the
snow. What was this about?
755
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,200
This is a total waste of time!
Yes, six minutes. Right.
756
00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:00,120
Right, this is the longest
thing I can find.
757
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,120
I've just realised I could just make
a bit of a bigger circle.
758
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,160
{\an1}LAUGHTER
759
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,720
Do you want me to bring
your paper out?
760
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,640
I don't need the paper now, do I?
We've established that. OK. Ready?
761
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,680
Yes.
762
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:18,800
I'm over the moon with that!
763
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
764
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,080
No-one's going to beat that!
765
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:23,120
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
766
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE
767
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,200
That is perfect!
768
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,080
{\an1}CHEERING
769
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:30,320
I did a circle!
770
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:35,280
That is a good circle.
That is a good circle.
771
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,680
You've got to be pleased with that,
772
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:38,400
you being all smart-arsed
with your map!
773
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,240
Kerry's circle is just wonderful.
774
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,600
Yeah, but no-one else had snow to
play with. Exactly. It seems unfair.
775
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,200
Exactly, Greg. I can't get penalised
for the fact it was snowing. Yes!
776
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:50,520
You cheated!
777
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,920
{\an1}LAUGHTER
778
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:57,200
Technically, Rhod's without question
the biggest, if we're kind.
779
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:01,200
It encompassed an area of 601,000
miles squared.
780
00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:04,080
Not literally though, eh?
Well, I've looked at the key...
781
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,320
No, cos it's a crappy map!
782
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:09,600
If I said, "Oh, I just walked across
the West Indies..."
783
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,360
How, how, how dare you even speak!
784
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:16,600
{\an1}LAUGHTER
785
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:18,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
786
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,920
I mean, fair play.
The balls of the man!
787
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,160
{\an1}LAUGHTER
788
00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:23,960
Start with the worst circle.
789
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:25,960
Well, unbelievably I've got to
give him a point.
790
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,720
I don't want to,
I'm absolutely furious.
791
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,840
James found a circle, and he
can have a point.
792
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,920
Phil did draw a circle. We couldn't
see it very well, sure.
793
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,160
But he did draw one,
he used a good technique.
794
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,080
Now, Jess used a good technique.
795
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:40,840
It went wrong,
but we could at least see it,
796
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,160
so I'm going to give her three
points. Three points to Jess.
797
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:48,200
I enjoyed Rhod's creativity... OK.
..in creating the biggest circle,
798
00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:51,040
even though he didn't really, so I
give you four points. It's to scale.
799
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,920
And, without question, the most
beautifully drawn
800
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,640
and the best circle of all gets five
points, it was Kerry Godliman.
801
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,640
{\an1}APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
802
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,360
OK. For only the second time this
series, please will you make
803
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,040
your way to the stage for the
final task of the show!
804
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,760
{\an1}APPLAUSE
805
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,120
Alex, who's for reading the
task out? Phil Wang.
806
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:28,360
"Make the highest tower of cans
within your hoop.
807
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:32,320
"You have 100 seconds, during which
you must also be within your hoop.
808
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:35,040
"If you step out of your hoop during
the 100 seconds
809
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,440
"you will be disqualified.
810
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,000
"After the 100 seconds,
811
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,960
"you must step out of your hoop and
not touch your tower again.
812
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:45,160
"Highest self-supporting tower of
cans within your hoop,
813
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,480
"10 seconds after the final whistle,
wins."
814
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:52,440
OK. And remember, if you step out of
the hoop during the construction
815
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,080
of the tower you'll be disqualified.
Everyone ready?
816
00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:57,880
100 seconds starts...
BLOWS WHISTLE
817
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,800
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
818
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:09,360
That's quite a big tower.
819
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,280
Are you trying to reach them?
820
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:14,760
Be careful of this bit. Yeah.
821
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:19,280
Are you still in your hoop, Phil?
I've not stepped out of it.
822
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:20,320
Are you sure?
823
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,880
Do you think that's going to stay
after the 10 seconds?
824
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,240
{\an1}LAUGHTER
825
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,120
Yes. 20 seconds left.
826
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:33,680
Oh, no! Problems there, problems
there. Yeah. We're down.
827
00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:37,440
{\an1}LAUGHTER
828
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:40,640
It's tight!
829
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,720
Four, three, two, one...
830
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:44,880
{\an1}BLOW WHISTLE
831
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,880
Step out of your hoops!
Come out of your hoops!
832
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:48,320
AUDIENCE: Ooooooh!
833
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:50,920
{\an1}Step out of your hoop, step out of
your hoop, step out of your hoop!
834
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,640
You've made mine fall!
835
00:40:54,240 --> 00:40:58,040
Three, two, one...
836
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,680
WHISTLE
We have a winner.
837
00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:02,480
{\an1}APPLAUSE
838
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,680
Come down and let's see how that's
affected the final scores!
839
00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:08,360
{\an1}APPLAUSE
840
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,920
Please "cans" you talk me through
that last task, Alex?
841
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,160
That's really funny(!)
842
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:20,240
Really funny.
843
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,000
LAUGHTER
OK, so...
844
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,960
James had a very tall tower, until
it was relevant, and then...
845
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER
846
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,720
..down it went, so he came last.
One point.
847
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,160
Jess's tumbled because...
848
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,720
I had Acaster after-shocks.
849
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,960
{\an1}LAUGHTER
850
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:36,240
So, two points to Jess.
851
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:41,240
Three points to Phil, who managed to
stack three cans in 100 seconds!
852
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,200
But the two giants were
Rhod and Kerry,
853
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:46,240
and Kerry just pipped you,
she gets five points.
854
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:47,680
Lovely! OK.
855
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:52,040
{\an1}APPLAUSE
856
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:55,040
Which means the leaderboard is
quite exciting reading.
857
00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,120
There's a tie at the top,
the two ladies are tied on 23!
858
00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,320
AUDIENCE: Oooooh!
859
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:02,560
We can't leave it like that, can we?
We've got a tie-break. Yep.
860
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,760
The tie-break is, what number do I
have written on my left forearm?
861
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,280
Closest answer wins. Seven. Seven.
862
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,760
Er... 1666.
863
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:14,720
{\an1}LAUGHTER
864
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:18,120
Because of the fire? Jess, do you
really want to go with that?
865
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:21,640
Yeah! You've got a good chance of
winning an episode here, mate.
866
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:22,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
867
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:26,400
OK. We're going for seven...
1666 it is.
868
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:29,120
The exact number is... Oooh! 1...
869
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,960
Oooh! 5...
870
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,200
51 point...
871
00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:37,040
It's 28.51!
872
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,640
'LAUGHTER
Which means Kerry Godliman
wins the episode! Oh!
873
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,520
{\an1}APPLAUSE
874
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,080
My lucky number.
875
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,840
Kerry Godliman wins the second
episode in a row.
876
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,760
Please head up and belt up!
877
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
878
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,280
So, what have we learned today?
879
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,080
We've learned that Taskmaster is a
show of contrasts.
880
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,880
Ask Jessica Knappett to impersonate
an air horn
881
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:07,400
and she will delight you.
882
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:11,040
Ask James Acaster to draw a circle
and he'll make you want to smash
883
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,680
his face in.
LAUGHTER
884
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:15,360
And, once again, we've learned that
Kerry Godliman is the winner
885
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,480
of today's show.
886
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,360
Make your hands flat and then
connect them noisily
887
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,640
for good old Kerry Godliman!
Goodnight and goodbye!
888
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE
889
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:24,680
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