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This film contains scenes which
some viewers may find upsetting.
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00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,720
This is me, Alisa,
eight years old in 1991.
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It was a carefree time
before it all started.
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Back then, my dad filmed
all the time, especially me.
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00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,240
I lived in Srebrenica.
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00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,560
My mum is Serbian,
my dad is Bosnian.
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We never cared.
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Until Yugoslavia collapsed.
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00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,960
Early April 1992,
the first bombs fell over Sarajevo.
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It is the beginning of
the war in Bosnia.
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When the war breaks out,
everything changes.
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00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,600
My parents decide that I will stay
with my grandparents in Serbia,
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00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,200
in Ljubovija,
because I am safe there.
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I stay separated from my parents
for the rest of the war.
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00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:14,800
There are many things we don't
talk about in my family -
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first and foremost, the Bosnian war.
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We didn't talk about it while it
happened, nor did we afterwards.
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The only thing I have left is a
VHS tape that my dad filmed for me,
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and I still have so many questions.
This is why I am doing this journey,
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mostly in search of one person -
Sejfudin Smajlovic, my father.
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HE SINGS
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00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,520
HE SINGS
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Ooh!
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WATER RUNS
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I remember, one morning,
I was sleeping, and he came,
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he kissed me, and he left.
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That's it.
It's complete blank after that.
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PHONE LINE RINGS
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00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,480
Sofie, how was your
last day of school?
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Good.
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Very nice.
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Are you excited to go
to Serbia this summer?
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What do you want to do there?
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00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,360
I want to swim in the river.
35
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- In Drina, River Drina?
- Uh-huh.
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And get ice cream.
37
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:40,680
- Get ice cream?
- Uh-huh.
- Very nice.
I can't wait also.
38
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,640
I wonder why my father decided
to return to Srebrenica.
39
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:32,200
It would have been much safer for
him to stay away from Bosnia.
40
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:36,360
Ciao, Mama!
41
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,480
SHE STUTTERS
42
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,280
- Mm-hm.
- Um...
43
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,720
SHE STUTTERS
44
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,880
My mother is Serbian,
my father Bosnian.
45
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,720
It was a so-called "mixed marriage",
46
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,600
like over 50% of marriages
in former Yugoslavia.
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00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:50,840
Since the beginning of the war,
in 1992, this had been a problem.
48
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,600
How did my parents
live through those years?
49
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,160
Did they try to still have fun,
to love, to celebrate life,
50
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,240
even whilst exposed to
the constant risk of losing it?
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00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:09,680
Or did they try just to survive?
52
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:25,280
MEN SHOUT AND LAUGH ON AUDIO
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00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,800
Who is that?
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That's my dad.
That's your grandfather.
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00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,880
SHE CHUCKLES
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00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,600
Do you think I look like him?
57
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,760
You don't think I look like him?
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00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,760
- Cos I can't see the colours.
- You can't see the col...
59
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,960
Cos this tape is very, very old.
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00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,480
- Wow.
- Mm-hm.
61
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:22,720
So my dad,
he made this tape for me, OK,
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00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,960
during the war cos
I didn't live with him.
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00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,880
How did he send you the tape?
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00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,320
Well, he sent it through
someone that I don't know.
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00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:38,280
I'm going to try to find out.
Now when we go to Ljubovija
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00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:43,720
and Srebrenica, I'll try to ask
someone, maybe some of his friends.
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00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,360
Why did he show you
all those people?
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00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,960
He was just showing me how people
lived there in this town,
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00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,440
in Srebrenica, during the war.
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00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,160
I don't know who they are,
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00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:40,840
but he was showing me
where his shop used to be.
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00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,880
He used to fix shoes.
73
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,400
He used to have his own shop,
so he said,
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00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,440
"This is the building
where my shop was
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00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,720
"and now it's a butcher shop."
76
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:18,000
What colour hair does he have?
Does he have like your hair?
77
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,960
Um... He had like brownish hair.
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00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,480
- A little bit darker than mine,
like yours.
- Like mine?
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00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,200
- But he had blue eyes,
like me.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
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00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,040
SHE CHUCKLES
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00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,600
- So you have his blue eyes,
I have his hair?
- That's right.
82
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,240
SHE LAUGHS
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00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,680
You see,
you have something from him too.
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00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,200
THEY LAUGH
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00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,880
Radio Deutsche Welle.
86
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:28,000
Reports circulated that small groups
of Bosnian Serb paramilitary forces
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00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,400
were committing acts of ethnic
cleansing on non-Serb populations.
88
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,200
Innocent civilians suffered.
Some died as they sat
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00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:40,760
peacefully at home, waiting for
the sound of the jets to diminish.
90
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,960
Bosnians now predict a long,
agonising civil war.
91
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,280
Finally, it's that time
of the year when we all go back
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00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,120
to my grandmother's
place in Ljubovija, Serbia.
93
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:14,200
My mum, my aunt,
my daughter and me -
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00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,960
we all spend our summers there.
95
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,000
This year, I will leave
Sofia with them
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00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,240
and go in search of my dad's story.
97
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,640
PHONE LINE RINGS
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00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:38,280
SHE LAUGHS
99
00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,320
SHE LAUGHS
100
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:35,440
PHONE LINE RINGS
101
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,560
SHE LAUGHS
102
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,440
SHE LAUGHS
103
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,560
SHE LAUGHS
104
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,320
SHE SQUEALS
105
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,200
SHE GIGGLES
106
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:49,000
{\an8}I have now decided to
stay here in Srebrenica.
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00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,480
You are now under
the protection of the UN forces.
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00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,920
But a town built for
4,000 is now refuge
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00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:10,200
and prison to 40,000 in the
so-called safe haven of Srebrenica.
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00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:23,160
BELL TOLLS,
PRAYER CHANT
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00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:23,560
HE TUNES RADIO
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00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:37,160
SHE LAUGHS
113
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,560
THEY LAUGH
114
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:30,840
SHE LAUGHS
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00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,320
Ah!
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00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,040
Mm-hm.
117
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,600
Mm.
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00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,920
LAPTOP AUDIO PLAYS
119
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:47,800
MOVIE SOUNDTRACK PLAYS
120
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,800
During the war, I lived only
16km away from my parents
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00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,760
and from Srebrenica,
but on the other side
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00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:35,640
of the border between Bosnia and
Serbia, impassable at the time.
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00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,680
I spent all the war
years in Ljubovija,
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at my grandparents' place.
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00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:58,840
CLOCK TICKS
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00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:40,880
Mm-hm.
127
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:44,600
Mm-hm.
128
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,040
Mm-hm.
129
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,400
MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
130
00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,560
MUSIC STOPS
131
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,600
I discover things about my father
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and mother I had
absolutely no idea of.
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00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,640
I do not judge either of them.
134
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,440
I'm an adult and can
understand both of them.
135
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,800
I would have liked things to
have been different between them,
136
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,440
but it is too late now
to take one side.
137
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,760
And in any case, they never asked me
what I thought about their break-up.
138
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:14,480
I was never included in
their decision to divorce.
139
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,680
I was not even
in Srebrenica at the time.
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00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:56,360
LIVELY CHATTER
141
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:04,760
THEY LAUGH
142
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:20,080
Uh-huh.
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00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:25,200
SHE LAUGHS
144
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:42,000
The 17-truck convoy was
carrying 137 tonnes of food
145
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:46,360
and medical aid for the besieged
Bosnian Muslim town of Srebrenica.
146
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,440
The Serbs refused to allow
the humanitarian aid
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00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:54,200
across the river into Bosnia to
relieve the starving in Srebrenica.
148
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:58,000
Srebrenica has been surrounded by
Serbian forces for several months.
149
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:02,440
Aid workers called conditions
in the town "abysmal".
150
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,480
The Serb-controlled water plant
outside the town has been destroyed,
151
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,680
there's no electricity.
152
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,840
Red Cross workers say it's only
a matter of weeks before typhoid
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00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:14,440
and dysentery attack here, too.
154
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:18,920
The Serbs don't bother to
bombard this city any more.
155
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,880
It's cheaper to starve
the people into submission.
156
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:27,800
UN Commander Rose believes
the Bosnian Serbs will agree to
157
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,040
sign up to the ceasefire
proposed last week.
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00:47:31,240 --> 00:47:33,600
{\an8}There's goodwill on both sides
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{\an8}and I'm hopeful we're going to get
some conclusion by the weekend.
160
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:40,240
Even General Mladic,
a key figure in any ceasefire,
161
00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:42,800
said the sticking points
were minor, resolvable.
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00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:42,840
SHE CHUCKLES
163
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:13,080
MUSIC PLAYS FROM VIDEO
164
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:19,960
MUSIC STOPS
165
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:24,960
CLOCK TICKS
166
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:29,640
This war has shaped my whole life.
It has no beginning and no end.
167
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:32,560
My grandmother asked me
168
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,320
to stop thinking about
what happened during the war.
169
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,440
I, however,
before following her advice,
170
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,520
need to dive a little deeper, still.
171
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:47,400
Because this war has left
deep marks on all of us -
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00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:53,040
on my grandma, my mum,
my aunt and me.
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It will probably leave
marks on Sofia as well.
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00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:12,040
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
175
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,480
I'll call you from Sarajevo, OK?
176
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,600
- OK.
- I'm going to be
there just a few days.
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00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:34,440
- For how long? A week?
- No, just a few days.
178
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:40,120
- Five days?
- Three days.
- Three days?
- Yes.
- OK.
- OK.
179
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:49,040
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
- Miss you. Miss you.
180
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,360
Love you, love you,
miss you, miss you.
181
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,320
Right now, I have decided not
to talk to Sofia about the war
182
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,600
that happened in former Yugoslavia.
183
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:52,360
She's very young. I think
that, when Sofia grows up,
184
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,560
I'll be able
to explain to her things
185
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,760
in a way
where she will understand.
186
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:01,240
Just because this war
happened doesn't mean
187
00:53:01,240 --> 00:53:02,880
that she needs to hate the world.
188
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:10,480
Oh!
189
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:17,040
SHE LAUGHS
190
00:54:26,160 --> 00:54:27,520
SHE LAUGHS
191
00:56:13,720 --> 00:56:16,760
THEY SING
192
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:25,160
The Dutch battalion is now moving
north towards Potocari,
193
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:30,480
with some estimations of about
7,000 refugees moving up the road
194
00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:32,640
towards Potocari itself.
195
01:00:05,160 --> 01:00:08,280
Directed by military leader
Ratko Mladic, soldiers separated
196
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,360
Muslim men and boys from
their wives, sisters and daughters.
197
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,960
But when they reached Muslim
territory,
198
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:18,360
only women and children emerged.
199
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:21,000
The men of Srebrenica
had disappeared.
200
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:34,360
I learned that in the days
following the fall of Srebrenica,
201
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:37,520
thousands of people tried to escape
through the forest to reach
202
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:40,080
the free territory of Tuzla.
203
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:42,880
A very long column of people
forms in the forest,
204
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,720
walking for days through the woods
without orientation,
205
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:49,280
hoping to go in the right direction.
206
01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:52,560
My mum is among them.
207
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:37,200
GUNFIRE
208
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,320
SOBBING
209
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:21,480
Nobody told me how he was killed
210
01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:25,120
because a lot of people died
that probably were with him.
211
01:05:39,040 --> 01:05:43,560
At one point in my life, I wanted to
imagine what he went through.
212
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:46,560
But I realised that other
things are more important -
213
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:50,960
to know how he was, really,
214
01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:54,680
to hear some stories
from his friends.
215
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:57,200
Those are deeper things for me.
216
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:11,680
Over 8,000 Muslim men
and boys massacred in Srebrenica.
217
01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,560
After burying them in mass graves,
218
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:17,320
troops later dug them up
219
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:20,320
and scattered their body parts to
hide their war crimes.
220
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:11,040
It is crazy how war makes
some people turn into monsters.
221
01:10:14,040 --> 01:10:15,480
It's typical from the war.
222
01:10:15,480 --> 01:10:18,400
You know, it's like, "Now I have the
opportunity to say whatever
223
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:21,760
"I wanted to say that
I couldn't say before." You know.
224
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,960
You know, "I have opportunity to
hate who I wanted to hate."
225
01:10:24,960 --> 01:10:29,200
It is so surreal to hear these
things, you know?
226
01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:32,480
And to me,
everything behind that is hate.
227
01:10:32,480 --> 01:10:34,240
It is what you bring
out of your house,
228
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:37,680
what you heard out of other people,
your parents or whatever.
229
01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:40,240
You know, it is just...
It's incredible.
230
01:10:40,240 --> 01:10:42,880
It is beyond me that they even,
these people who live
231
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:49,560
together with each other, allow
their selves to be involved in that.
232
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:54,280
It is insane to me how someone
can just change overnight, you know?
233
01:10:54,280 --> 01:10:59,600
I mean, it's...
I cannot understand that fully.
234
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:02,000
I'm trying in my mind to,
but there's no...there's no
235
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,480
understanding
because it's not the right thing.
236
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:38,760
Around 8,000 Bosnians are killed
in about ten days.
237
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:42,840
Even today, not all victims have
been identified.
238
01:11:44,520 --> 01:11:46,600
Every year on July 11th,
239
01:11:46,600 --> 01:11:53,200
newly identified victims are buried
in a memorial cemetery in Potocari.
240
01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:56,960
INAUDIBLE
241
01:14:15,840 --> 01:14:20,400
INDISTINCT CHATTER
242
01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:25,480
- I'm from MSF.
- MSF. Yes.
- Christine.
243
01:15:25,480 --> 01:15:27,560
Oh, really!
244
01:15:27,560 --> 01:15:28,920
Oh, my goodness!
245
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:30,040
Yeah, you...
246
01:15:30,040 --> 01:15:31,520
Yes. MSF. Remember?
247
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:32,800
Oh, yes!
248
01:15:34,120 --> 01:15:36,400
Ha-ha!
249
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:39,200
Oh, my God!
250
01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:41,680
I never would have recognised you!
251
01:15:41,680 --> 01:15:42,800
{\an8}Oh, my God!
252
01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:46,960
{\an8}Amazing, really, to see you.
253
01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:49,440
- When did you leave?
- In '95.
254
01:15:50,760 --> 01:15:53,480
- I went to the...by the...
- By the woods.
255
01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:54,560
Woods.
256
01:15:54,560 --> 01:15:56,320
17 days. Yeah.
257
01:15:58,160 --> 01:16:01,120
- This is my daughter, Alisa.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
258
01:16:03,600 --> 01:16:04,680
No!
259
01:16:14,200 --> 01:16:18,680
PEOPLE RECITE PRAYERS
260
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:27,440
It's after the deportation,
261
01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:31,080
on 12th and 13th...
262
01:17:41,480 --> 01:17:43,280
Why do you come back here?
263
01:17:43,280 --> 01:17:48,320
- I come back because, the people
I'm meeting here...
- Mm-hm.
264
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:51,680
- ..like the medical staff from the
hospital...
- Uh-huh.
265
01:17:51,680 --> 01:17:57,120
..or others, understand best what
we all together have been through.
266
01:17:57,120 --> 01:18:01,320
I need to share with people who have
gone through this as well.
267
01:18:01,320 --> 01:18:04,520
And I want to show also this is not
forgotten,
268
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:07,760
- and I will never forget.
- Yeah.
- Never forget.
269
01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:14,200
It changed my life, and took me
many years to understand that
270
01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:19,560
it was not my fault that the enclave
fell and so many people were killed.
271
01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:24,160
- When did you arrive to Srebrenica?
- 24th of June.
272
01:18:24,160 --> 01:18:26,480
- In 1995?
- Yes. Yes.
273
01:18:26,480 --> 01:18:28,440
- OK.
- Yes. Yes.
- OK. OK.
274
01:18:28,440 --> 01:18:30,920
- And then the bombing started.
- Yes.
- So...
275
01:18:30,920 --> 01:18:34,200
And your mother was
walking in one of the ambulantes
276
01:18:34,200 --> 01:18:37,600
around Srebrenica,
and when I met her yesterday,
277
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:40,280
- it was wonderful to meet her.
- Yes.
Yes.
278
01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:45,200
Do you have any memory of the day
when the troops came in,
279
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:46,880
into Srebrenica?
280
01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:48,720
Yes. Yes.
281
01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:55,080
Actually, I remember one situation,
on the 13th of July,
282
01:18:55,080 --> 01:18:59,760
when a Bosnian-Serbian soldier
came to me, fully armed,
283
01:18:59,760 --> 01:19:01,720
and with a German dog.
284
01:19:01,720 --> 01:19:06,280
And he was followed by a Muslim man
285
01:19:06,280 --> 01:19:09,040
who was really...you could read in
his eyes
286
01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:11,520
he was so stressed and so fearful.
287
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:13,920
And he had his baby on his arm.
288
01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:15,640
It was maybe a year or so.
289
01:19:16,640 --> 01:19:19,600
And I did not speak Bosnian,
290
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:23,680
but I understood that the father
said he has nobody for the baby.
291
01:19:23,680 --> 01:19:27,320
The mother was gone missing or dead,
292
01:19:27,320 --> 01:19:29,840
and he wanted to give me that baby.
293
01:19:29,840 --> 01:19:31,640
Um...
294
01:19:31,640 --> 01:19:34,080
And it wasn't being said,
295
01:19:34,080 --> 01:19:39,080
but I knew in that moment
that he was supposed to be killed.
296
01:19:39,080 --> 01:19:42,360
He has been found in a mass
grave later.
297
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:44,360
And he gave me his baby.
298
01:19:45,560 --> 01:19:50,000
And this is, for me,
the most symbolic situation...
299
01:19:50,000 --> 01:19:53,520
- Mm.
- ..the separation of a child
from his father.
300
01:19:53,520 --> 01:19:55,160
And I...
301
01:19:55,160 --> 01:19:59,000
Yeah, I think, I cannot imagine
the pain
302
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:03,360
you must feel
by having lost your father.
303
01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:04,480
Yes.
304
01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:08,280
- I think for ten years,
not knowing where he was...
- Yeah.
305
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:10,280
- I think that was the worst.
- Yeah.
306
01:20:10,280 --> 01:20:14,240
And I suffered a lot through that
period, just because I didn't have
307
01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:17,080
- comfort from anyone to talk to me
about it.
- Yeah.
308
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:20,120
You know, I kind of
dealt with my pain by myself.
309
01:20:20,120 --> 01:20:21,840
OK. That must be difficult.
310
01:20:21,840 --> 01:20:24,600
- And... It was.
It was very, very hard.
- Yeah.
311
01:20:24,600 --> 01:20:30,840
And then when I found out, in 2005,
that they found him,
312
01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:34,800
- it was... You know,
I was very, very sad.
- Mm-hm.
313
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:37,840
- But it was a relief to...
- Yes.
314
01:20:37,840 --> 01:20:41,760
..you know, to have a grave
to go to.
315
01:20:41,760 --> 01:20:46,520
- Yeah.
- I think that's when
that...insane,
316
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:52,360
tremendous pain kind of started
to slowly disappear
317
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:55,280
- because I think it's the
worst when you don't know...
- Yeah.
318
01:20:55,280 --> 01:20:58,480
- ..where someone is, you know?
- Yeah.
- Um...
319
01:20:59,600 --> 01:21:05,040
But do you feel
that you can come to peace today?
320
01:21:05,040 --> 01:21:06,920
Um, I do.
321
01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:08,120
You know why?
322
01:21:08,120 --> 01:21:11,080
- Because I have accepted...
- Yeah.
- ..what has happened.
323
01:21:11,080 --> 01:21:14,800
And I am so grateful to him
324
01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:17,400
- that he made this tape for me.
- Yes.
325
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:19,480
I mean, that's like...
326
01:21:19,480 --> 01:21:23,640
- For me, it's like you found a piece
of gold.
- Yeah. Yeah.
327
01:21:23,640 --> 01:21:28,320
And I know that my dad would be very
happy that I'm doing this, you know.
328
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:33,600
PEOPLE CHAT ANIMATEDLY
329
01:25:47,960 --> 01:25:52,120
Sejfo wanted me to make this journey
to come and find him,
330
01:25:52,120 --> 01:25:54,880
to find out who he was.
331
01:25:54,880 --> 01:25:59,160
Above all, he wanted me to learn to
enjoy every moment of life,
332
01:25:59,160 --> 01:26:01,640
and to care for others as he did.
333
01:26:03,960 --> 01:26:08,480
He madly loved a Serbian woman,
he unconditionally loved me,
334
01:26:08,480 --> 01:26:10,640
his Bosnian-Serb daughter.
335
01:26:10,640 --> 01:26:14,960
He had friends of every religion
and ethnicity until his end.
336
01:26:16,480 --> 01:26:18,680
For me, this is what remains of him,
337
01:26:18,680 --> 01:26:22,360
along with the freedom of not having
to choose.
338
01:26:22,360 --> 01:26:24,960
Because I am a daughter of that
freedom.
339
01:26:32,400 --> 01:26:36,040
My father made me
free to exist above differences,
340
01:26:36,040 --> 01:26:37,840
to dance on hate, to ignore
341
01:26:37,840 --> 01:26:41,160
the scepticism my Serbian accent
causes in some,
342
01:26:41,160 --> 01:26:44,040
and my Bosnian surname in others.
343
01:26:44,040 --> 01:26:46,960
It showed me the way to trample
on prejudice
344
01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:51,280
and keep all ethnic, religious
and racial hate away from me.
345
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:56,960
This is what he passed on to me,
346
01:26:56,960 --> 01:26:59,640
and this is what I wish to pass on
to Sofia.
27046
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