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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:38,262 --> 00:00:40,187 Ah Maryland, my Maryland! 2 00:00:40,188 --> 00:00:41,909 Don't get me wrong... 3 00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:45,108 when I say my Maryland I don't mean I own it all.. 4 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:46,927 just the best part. 5 00:00:46,934 --> 00:00:50,045 Take a look at that. Pretty nice, huh? 6 00:00:57,699 --> 00:01:00,016 And how about that one there? 7 00:01:00,049 --> 00:01:02,830 That belongs to my neighbor, Mr. Burnshaw. 8 00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:06,838 But my place is in a class by itself. 9 00:01:06,915 --> 00:01:10,402 Anything anyone could possibly want, I've got it. 10 00:01:10,492 --> 00:01:16,899 Larkin - Trade 2nd hand everything. Order your spring piglets now. 11 00:01:27,079 --> 00:01:30,357 My, that pig surely has a pair of lungs! 12 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,108 Marvelous gentleman. 13 00:01:32,109 --> 00:01:35,205 We're gonna have us a first- class championship litter. 14 00:01:35,404 --> 00:01:36,710 I'll say one thing: 15 00:01:36,711 --> 00:01:38,066 He didn't waste any time 16 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:41,815 Must have been a case of love at first sight, just like you and me, Ma'am. 17 00:01:41,816 --> 00:01:44,866 Look here, don't you go comparing us to a couple of pigs? 18 00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:46,993 Don't you be so touchy. 19 00:01:47,093 --> 00:01:49,353 Lee, Lee! 20 00:01:49,354 --> 00:01:50,689 Yeah, Pop? 21 00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:52,864 Time to get Mr. Burnshaw's pig home. 22 00:01:52,865 --> 00:01:54,044 Hurry up now, come on! 23 00:01:54,545 --> 00:01:55,694 Ok, Pop. 24 00:01:55,851 --> 00:01:57,000 Come on, Grant. 25 00:02:04,948 --> 00:02:08,507 Morning now, Vicky, Susy, everybody helps here. 26 00:02:08,632 --> 00:02:09,870 All right get along now 27 00:02:09,871 --> 00:02:11,069 Where is Mariette? 28 00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:12,068 - She's up in the barn. - Well, you go along. 29 00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:14,688 Mariette! Mariette! 30 00:02:14,689 --> 00:02:16,719 What's up Pop? 31 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,649 We got to take Mr. Burnshaw's pig back. 32 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:22,457 Already? Sheesh! 33 00:02:22,477 --> 00:02:23,968 Yeah, right now! 34 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:28,112 You meet a boy He smiles at you 35 00:02:28,113 --> 00:02:32,108 Your eyes light up Your heart does, too 36 00:02:32,109 --> 00:02:33,109 You feel so weak 37 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:36,104 You can't speak your name 38 00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:40,539 You've started The Mating Game 39 00:02:40,540 --> 00:02:44,045 He takes you home He holds you tight 40 00:02:44,046 --> 00:02:48,045 You can't resist A kiss good night 41 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:52,000 You may pretend that the moon's to blame 42 00:02:52,001 --> 00:02:57,045 But no, it's The Mating Game 43 00:02:57,046 --> 00:03:00,500 And as the game goes on 44 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:04,500 Sometimes you think you lose 45 00:03:04,501 --> 00:03:07,045 You'll fight, you'll cry 46 00:03:07,046 --> 00:03:13,500 He'll say goodbye and leave you with the blues 47 00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:18,045 When he comes back You're all aglow 48 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,045 You're in his arms You love him so 49 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:26,045 And when he tells you he feels the same 50 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,045 You've found the right mate 51 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:33,045 for The Mating Game 52 00:03:41,126 --> 00:03:43,000 Here we go. Come on, old boy. 53 00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:45,000 Come Lee, get in here help your sister. 54 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:47,349 You've had enough romance. Here we go. 55 00:03:47,498 --> 00:03:48,857 On your feet. Come on, hey! 56 00:03:48,976 --> 00:03:51,935 Here we go. Up! That's it. Come on. Get up! 57 00:03:51,936 --> 00:03:55,280 Oh come on, You aren't that tired. Now come on, boy! 58 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:01,300 Careful, now. a boar's a dangerous animal Especally in the mating season. 59 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,210 Ma, every animals are dangerous in the mating season. 60 00:04:04,366 --> 00:04:06,845 You ought to know that by now. 61 00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:10,933 Sure it was nice of Mr.Burnshaw to lend him to you. 62 00:04:10,994 --> 00:04:12,772 It's not like him to be so generous. 63 00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,514 He wasn't generous, Ma. he just wasn't home. 64 00:04:16,046 --> 00:04:17,790 Oh, you didn't ask Mr.Burnshaw? 65 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,924 How could I ask him if he wasn't home? 66 00:04:20,925 --> 00:04:26,000 Susy, Vicky! Get in there and keep that sow back! We all got to do our share around here. 67 00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:29,360 Get out of that pen! Come on, boys! 68 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:32,900 Come on, give him a hit in the rear! 69 00:04:35,065 --> 00:04:39,184 Go on, go, go, go! That's it, go, pig pig pig pig 70 00:04:40,102 --> 00:04:41,846 Go on, boy. Here we are. 71 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:46,480 How's Mr. Burnshaw gonna feel about sharing his prize boar? 72 00:04:46,481 --> 00:04:49,254 He's gonna feel mighty fine when I give him his pick of the litter. 73 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:50,397 Now, quit worrying. 74 00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:51,666 You should have asked him. 75 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,465 You know how he is, I didn't want to upset him. 76 00:04:53,466 --> 00:04:57,206 He's a nice enough fella, It's just that he never learned how to unto others. 77 00:04:57,207 --> 00:04:59,245 He's a stingy old crock, that's what he is. 78 00:04:59,246 --> 00:05:01,603 Yes, and he's likely to do unto you with a shotgun. 79 00:05:01,604 --> 00:05:03,892 Girls, that is no way to talk about your neighbors. 80 00:05:03,893 --> 00:05:07,199 Besides, we didn't hurt the pig any. We're taking him back as good as new - better. 81 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,339 A gentleman always feels better after a little outing. 82 00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:11,535 Oh, fresh! 83 00:05:11,536 --> 00:05:13,995 Listen Pop, we're in a lot of trouble 84 00:05:13,996 --> 00:05:15,176 Oh, you worry more than your mother. 85 00:05:15,177 --> 00:05:17,870 Come on, everybody, get on board Never mind that. Get inside! 86 00:05:17,871 --> 00:05:21,337 - Trouble, Trouble, that's all we've got trouble, I'm telling you 87 00:05:22,975 --> 00:05:24,903 Why does he have to be so ornery? 88 00:05:25,028 --> 00:05:28,466 You'd be ornery, too, if they dragged you away from your sweetheart. 89 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:30,897 Huh. Not if she was a pig, I wouldn't. 90 00:05:32,821 --> 00:05:35,828 Poor pigs. Gee, it's sad, huh, Pa? 91 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,337 Getting married and divorced in the same day. 92 00:05:38,377 --> 00:05:40,455 Well, that's life in the animal kingdom. 93 00:05:44,238 --> 00:05:46,770 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 94 00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:49,889 I want you to put this on before you go overthere. 95 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:51,247 I'll put it on later. 96 00:05:51,248 --> 00:05:53,298 Put it on right now. Out, out! 97 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,711 Anything to make you happy. 98 00:05:55,806 --> 00:05:58,256 Can't call on Mr.Burnshaw in your shirtsleeves. 99 00:05:58,257 --> 00:06:00,602 Yeah. Burnshaws happy, and I'm suffocating. 100 00:06:00,603 --> 00:06:02,600 Give him this baked fresh this morning. 101 00:06:02,601 --> 00:06:04,626 Grand thought, Ma. It'll sweeten him up. 102 00:06:04,627 --> 00:06:08,116 Sure hope, don't want to spend the night picking buckshot out off your tail. 103 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,924 Oh? Whose tail would you rather pick buckshot out of? 104 00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,104 Guess whose! 105 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:13,817 You be good now! 106 00:06:13,818 --> 00:06:15,391 We'll be right back. Don't worry. 107 00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:18,018 Bye bye now. you behave yourselfves, all of you. 108 00:06:18,028 --> 00:06:19,390 Ok, Ma! Bye, Honey! 109 00:06:31,899 --> 00:06:34,178 Now, I'll go settle with Mr. Burnshaw, 110 00:06:34,298 --> 00:06:36,052 and you take Romeo to back to his pen. 111 00:06:36,053 --> 00:06:38,993 Why don't we just put him back and skedaddle, huh? 112 00:06:38,994 --> 00:06:42,173 Honey, you can't use a man's hog and not tell him. That's not honest. 113 00:06:42,174 --> 00:06:44,154 No, but it's a lot safer. 114 00:06:44,155 --> 00:06:45,568 There is no cause for alarm. 115 00:06:45,569 --> 00:06:48,676 Now, you take care of Mr.Pork chops, and I'll take care of Mr. B. 116 00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:50,846 Ok. Well, let's get him out of here. 117 00:06:50,847 --> 00:06:53,186 Vicky, hand me those tomatoes, will you? 118 00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:54,243 Thank you! 119 00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:55,663 Come on, Lee, open the gate. 120 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:57,428 Let's pull him down. 121 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,005 By George, look who's here! 122 00:07:04,195 --> 00:07:07,122 Well, Howdy, Brigadier! How's the horsey crowd today? 123 00:07:07,436 --> 00:07:10,054 Chasing the hounds and raising saddle sores, huh? 124 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:11,791 What heve you got there? 125 00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:13,588 It's one of Ma's blueberry pies. 126 00:07:13,589 --> 00:07:16,667 you sink your choppers into this, you'll think you died and went to heaven. 127 00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:17,907 What you'll take for it? 128 00:07:17,908 --> 00:07:19,780 Oh, no, no, it's a present for Mr. B. 129 00:07:19,781 --> 00:07:21,073 Pa! 130 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:24,582 Howdy-doodle-do, Luisa? My, you're looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! 131 00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:27,285 knocked off some blubber, didn't you? 132 00:07:27,286 --> 00:07:28,348 Five pounds 133 00:07:28,349 --> 00:07:29,377 Well, that's look good. 134 00:07:29,378 --> 00:07:31,656 Ed, if you want to trade that cornhusker of yours 135 00:07:31,657 --> 00:07:33,854 I think I can get you a power mower. 136 00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:35,396 Good, come and see me tomorrow. 137 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:36,962 Will do. Bet your bottom. 138 00:07:37,014 --> 00:07:40,540 I can trace the lineage of every animal back as far as you care to look. 139 00:07:42,609 --> 00:07:43,751 Here, Pop, have a drink. 140 00:07:43,752 --> 00:07:45,527 Well, yes, indeed, I will. Thank you! 141 00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:48,484 By the way, Brigradier, I traded captain Gatsby out of that nice dinghy of his 142 00:07:48,485 --> 00:07:50,402 and if you want to swap your power mower 143 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:52,362 To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure? 144 00:07:52,363 --> 00:07:56,151 Oh, well, Mr. B, I came over to tell you that if you ever need anything of mine... 145 00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:59,796 don't bother to ask for it, just take it. cause that's what neighbors are for. 146 00:07:59,797 --> 00:08:01,755 As they say, one hand washes the other. 147 00:08:04,274 --> 00:08:05,984 Pop! He got away 148 00:08:08,631 --> 00:08:09,927 Dad, escaped. 149 00:08:09,928 --> 00:08:13,374 Well, catch him, sweetie. You're disturbing Mr. Burnshaw's party 150 00:08:13,375 --> 00:08:15,225 Oh, excuse me. Oh, hello, Brigadier. 151 00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:16,698 Hiya Louisa! 152 00:08:18,783 --> 00:08:21,138 Larkin, what are you doing with my pig? 153 00:08:21,622 --> 00:08:24,084 Well, you might say we sort of borrowed him. 154 00:08:24,259 --> 00:08:26,962 You took my blue-ribbon champion boar?! 155 00:08:27,058 --> 00:08:29,039 Well, we have a sow with no boar 156 00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,854 You get the connection? One's no good without the other. 157 00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:34,652 Like they say, it takes two to tango. 158 00:08:35,771 --> 00:08:36,939 Look out, Mr. B.! 159 00:08:55,477 --> 00:08:56,677 I'm terribly sorry... 160 00:08:57,756 --> 00:08:59,434 I'm realsorry, Mr. B. 161 00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:00,553 I... I... 162 00:09:00,554 --> 00:09:01,722 Get out of here! 163 00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:03,207 Don't fly off the handle. 164 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,951 You're gonna get the pick of the litter. 165 00:09:04,952 --> 00:09:06,188 I don't want the pick of the litter. 166 00:09:06,189 --> 00:09:09,506 I want you out of here and off of my property! 167 00:09:09,588 --> 00:09:10,947 Get out! Get out! Get out! 168 00:09:11,906 --> 00:09:14,998 Calm down, Mr.B Look, I brought you a little stud fee 169 00:09:14,999 --> 00:09:16,500 The best blueberry pie in the world 170 00:09:16,501 --> 00:09:19,748 - Oh, really? - I guarantee it, Ma sent it over specially for you. 171 00:09:19,749 --> 00:09:22,136 Well, you know, do unto others and they'll do unto you. 172 00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:24,695 If that ain't the best pie you ever tasted, I'll eat it myself. 173 00:09:24,696 --> 00:09:26,414 You've had 'em, haven't you Brigadier? 174 00:09:26,415 --> 00:09:27,564 Jolly good. 175 00:09:29,454 --> 00:09:31,052 What'd you want to do that for? 176 00:09:35,769 --> 00:09:39,175 Some people just don't have the first idea of how to be neighborly. 177 00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:41,949 Grant, give me one of those. Stand back! 178 00:09:44,722 --> 00:09:46,858 Ma's always running short of these. 179 00:09:46,859 --> 00:09:50,196 If you ever so much as touch one of my animals again, I'll... 180 00:09:50,197 --> 00:09:54,074 You shouldn't ought to have done that, Mariette. 181 00:09:54,075 --> 00:09:56,081 Do unto others and they'll do unto you. 182 00:09:56,153 --> 00:09:57,302 Come on! 183 00:09:59,472 --> 00:10:02,222 In point of fact, Wendell, they didn't steal your pig. 184 00:10:02,223 --> 00:10:04,547 They merely "preempted" the use of your pig 185 00:10:04,548 --> 00:10:06,935 Preemted? Don't give me that legal jargon. 186 00:10:07,825 --> 00:10:10,991 I mustn't get angry again I've got ot watch my blood pressure. 187 00:10:11,942 --> 00:10:13,991 David, for 10 long years... 188 00:10:14,301 --> 00:10:18,546 those Larkins have spent every waking moment making my life miseable. 189 00:10:18,777 --> 00:10:20,735 Anything they could get their hooks on 190 00:10:21,136 --> 00:10:22,965 My prize apples, My prize pig... 191 00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:26,331 Wendell, let's stipulate to the fact that you hate the Larkins. 192 00:10:26,332 --> 00:10:27,412 I want them out of here. 193 00:10:27,413 --> 00:10:30,927 How would you like living next-door to a junkyard populated by vandals? 194 00:10:30,928 --> 00:10:32,077 I wouldn't. 195 00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:33,652 Why don't you buy the place? 196 00:10:33,653 --> 00:10:36,885 David, I've offered him twice what the place is worth... 3 times 197 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,763 - Won't sell, huh? - Not for any price. 198 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:41,305 He say got all the money he needs. 199 00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:44,719 You just bet he has buckets of it! Barrels! Do you know what he does for living? 200 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,439 - No, what? - He trades things. 201 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:50,035 You got something valuable He'll give you a piece of junk for it any day. 202 00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:51,552 Sly, crooked... 203 00:10:51,596 --> 00:10:53,950 Wendell, what can I do? I am a tax lawyer. 204 00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:55,558 Why do you think I sent for you? 205 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,429 These days, who has all the money he needs? 206 00:10:57,430 --> 00:11:00,521 You don't. I don't. Why? Income tax. 207 00:11:00,522 --> 00:11:02,265 granted, but what's that got to do with it? 208 00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:05,690 Every year, those bereaucratic cutthroats drink my blood. 209 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:11,000 In spite of you, inspite of my so-called friend in the Treasure Department ... 210 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:15,421 ...every year they bleed me dry! - Not again! 211 00:11:17,056 --> 00:11:19,983 David, doesn't it strike you as odd that brother Larkin ... 212 00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:22,216 has all the money he needs, huh? 213 00:11:22,373 --> 00:11:23,997 Are you suggesting a little... 214 00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:28,367 Cheats everybody else. Wouldn't he also cheat the Government, huh? 215 00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:33,621 -Uh huh! -Tomorrow, David, you and I are going to Baltimore... 216 00:11:33,763 --> 00:11:35,753 ...to find out how brother Larkin ... 217 00:11:35,754 --> 00:11:37,662 ...stand with the Internal Revenue. 218 00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,702 Internal Revenue 219 00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:59,639 Better start looking for another job. 220 00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:05,892 Sad sight, isn't it? 221 00:12:07,099 --> 00:12:10,498 You understand, of course, gentlemen, I don't like to ruin a man 222 00:12:10,499 --> 00:12:12,715 We don't enjoy taking his stocks and bonds,... 223 00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:14,863 ...selling his house and property. 224 00:12:15,095 --> 00:12:20,900 But when a man shortchanges Uncle Sam, it leaves us no choice. 225 00:12:21,928 --> 00:12:23,529 Great or small, gentlemen... 226 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:26,010 ...high bracket, low bracket... 227 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,061 ... if Uncle doesn't get his cut... 228 00:12:29,084 --> 00:12:31,592 we nail your hide to the barnyard door. 229 00:12:31,923 --> 00:12:36,158 - Yes ahem. - That's a wonderful attitude, Mr. Kelsey. 230 00:12:37,015 --> 00:12:38,499 now about this fello Larkin... 231 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:42,231 Yes, some of them lead us a merry chase, 232 00:12:42,232 --> 00:12:44,556 ...but we get them all in the end. We pick their bones clean. 233 00:12:44,557 --> 00:12:45,753 (Man, on intercom:) Yes, Sir? 234 00:12:45,754 --> 00:12:47,073 Lorenzo, ready on the Sidney Larkin? 235 00:12:47,074 --> 00:12:48,072 Right. 236 00:12:48,073 --> 00:12:49,512 Ok, front and center. 237 00:12:50,633 --> 00:12:51,806 My number one bird dog. 238 00:12:51,807 --> 00:12:55,147 Now, you mark my words, gentlemen, within four years, he'll be in Congress. 239 00:12:55,148 --> 00:12:56,664 10 years, the senate. 240 00:12:56,708 --> 00:12:57,856 Going places. 241 00:12:58,546 --> 00:13:00,976 Watch! Watch how he takes hold. 242 00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,023 Come in! 243 00:13:03,342 --> 00:13:05,018 This is Lorenzo Charlton. 244 00:13:05,019 --> 00:13:08,058 And these gentlemen brought the Larkin matter to our attention 245 00:13:08,059 --> 00:13:09,417 DeGroot... Oh, yes. How do you do? 246 00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:10,834 Mr.Burnshaw How do you do? 247 00:13:10,835 --> 00:13:14,941 Good to meet you Mr.Charlton. Mr. Kelsey said some very nice things about you 248 00:13:14,942 --> 00:13:17,493 You expect a reward for turning in your neighbor? 249 00:13:17,494 --> 00:13:18,889 Reward? Certainly not. 250 00:13:18,971 --> 00:13:20,330 Then what's your motive? 251 00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:22,714 Mr. Burnshaw is a patriotic American 252 00:13:22,715 --> 00:13:25,426 who every year gladly pays a very large tax bill. 253 00:13:25,427 --> 00:13:28,644 He feels that anyone who enjoys the privilege of living under the stars and stripes (the American flag) 254 00:13:28,645 --> 00:13:29,643 Oh, yes... 255 00:13:29,644 --> 00:13:32,321 Mr. Burnshaw, where do you file your return? At this office? 256 00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:33,389 Yes, Sir. Why? 257 00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,898 Mr. Kelsey will tell you that we frequently find... 258 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,555 ...that informers have something to hide themselves. 259 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,898 Now just a minute. What's going on here? What is this? 260 00:13:40,899 --> 00:13:44,472 What did I tell you? First crack out of the box, He's got you backed in a corner 261 00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:46,161 Well, let me tell you something... 262 00:13:46,162 --> 00:13:48,046 A top man in Treasury Department happens to be... 263 00:13:48,047 --> 00:13:51,128 ... a very dear, close, personal friend of mine. 264 00:13:51,611 --> 00:13:52,886 - Ahem. Yes, yes. 265 00:13:54,185 --> 00:13:56,143 Lorenzo, what have you got on Larkin? 266 00:13:56,305 --> 00:13:57,624 Not a thing. 267 00:13:58,743 --> 00:14:01,707 Mr. Sydney Larkin has never paid one penny of income tax. 268 00:14:01,979 --> 00:14:03,128 What? 269 00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:05,977 What is more, he has never even seen fit to file a return. 270 00:14:05,978 --> 00:14:08,256 - Never? - Never. 271 00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:09,851 Is that wonderful? 272 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:11,933 Wonderful?! I see nothing wonderful. 273 00:14:12,454 --> 00:14:14,763 All I see is a big black mark on our record. 274 00:14:14,764 --> 00:14:16,231 I agree with you absolutely. 275 00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:19,606 Lorenzo, you hop down there tomorrow and erase that black mark. Get me? 276 00:14:19,607 --> 00:14:20,755 Right. 277 00:14:21,967 --> 00:14:24,285 I suppose he could lose everything he owned? 278 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,522 ...and then some, when you dance, gentlemen, you pay the piper. 279 00:14:27,721 --> 00:14:30,306 From now on, Uncle Sam is in the driver's seat. 280 00:14:34,424 --> 00:14:36,995 US GOVERNMENT FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY 281 00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:05,366 What's the matter with you, young woman? 282 00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:06,535 You want to get your self killed or something? 283 00:15:06,536 --> 00:15:07,810 Hey, look out! 284 00:15:12,610 --> 00:15:14,329 Crazy lot of people around here? 285 00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:27,199 Hey, Pop, how come everytime Mariette goes out riding... 286 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,947 ...she comes back with a bunch of crazy boy chasing her? 287 00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:31,474 Yeah, Pop. How come? 288 00:15:31,517 --> 00:15:32,754 Let me think... 289 00:15:32,755 --> 00:15:34,196 How old are you twwo now? 290 00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:35,555 We're 11. 291 00:15:36,073 --> 00:15:38,428 Ask me in a couple of years I'll tell you. 292 00:15:40,032 --> 00:15:42,588 Where'd she go, Mr.Larkin? 293 00:15:42,589 --> 00:15:44,180 Your guess is as good as mine. 294 00:15:44,269 --> 00:15:45,707 Looking for me? Haha! 295 00:15:46,826 --> 00:15:48,185 Think you're smart, huh? 296 00:15:55,618 --> 00:15:57,706 - Wait, I'll get ahold of you. - Get down! 297 00:16:12,727 --> 00:16:15,355 Sure knows how to get them lathered up, don't she? 298 00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:16,994 Takes after you, Ma. 299 00:16:18,124 --> 00:16:19,639 Takes up where I left off. 300 00:16:35,991 --> 00:16:37,140 - Poppy? - Huh? 301 00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:39,898 We got a problem on our hands. 302 00:16:41,186 --> 00:16:42,844 She's ripe and ready, that girl 303 00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:45,467 Aw, Ma, she's just practicing. 304 00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:48,322 You know, like they say, practice makes perfect. 305 00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:51,361 Too much practice takes the edge off the real thing 306 00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:53,027 You know me, Ma... 307 00:16:53,777 --> 00:16:55,136 I'm all for the real thing. 308 00:16:55,937 --> 00:16:57,943 I'm talking about getting married. 309 00:16:58,295 --> 00:17:01,521 Mariette is a good girl, so we got nothing to worry about so far 310 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:03,169 But I know the signs... 311 00:17:03,331 --> 00:17:04,929 It's time we find her a husband. 312 00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:07,677 I'll go oil up my gun, which one do you want? 313 00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:12,215 Poppy, serious, she's not gonna marry one of those hoot'n'holler boys. 314 00:17:12,216 --> 00:17:16,800 For her, it's got to be somebody special off the top branch. 315 00:17:16,801 --> 00:17:21,000 ...nice, clean-cut young man with a good education. 316 00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:23,000 fellow who appreciate what he's getting. 317 00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,200 Ma, you've been looking at too many of them TV programs. 318 00:17:25,201 --> 00:17:27,346 where are we gonna find a fella like that? 319 00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,785 - Howdy Mr. - Hi. 320 00:17:41,105 --> 00:17:42,443 Is this the Larkin place? 321 00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:45,221 - Yes, I'm Lee and this is my brother,Grant. - How do you do? 322 00:17:45,222 --> 00:17:47,370 - I'm Vicky, this is Susan. - Hello, hello. 323 00:17:53,736 --> 00:17:55,012 That's Mariette. 324 00:18:12,084 --> 00:18:13,233 Mr. Sidney Larkin? 325 00:18:13,234 --> 00:18:14,330 Yours truly... 326 00:18:14,331 --> 00:18:15,958 - My name is Charlton, sir. I'm with the IRS ... - This is Ma 327 00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:18,061 - How do you do Mrs.Larkin? 328 00:18:18,062 --> 00:18:19,396 - What did you say? - The IRS, sir. 329 00:18:19,397 --> 00:18:22,079 It's come to our attention... 330 00:18:22,094 --> 00:18:25,392 Barney, that's enough horsing around! 331 00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:27,481 - You fella get on home now! - I got her 332 00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:31,838 - Hey, mister... - Hmm? 333 00:18:31,839 --> 00:18:33,226 - Your car is burning oil. - What? What was that? 334 00:18:33,227 --> 00:18:35,424 Your car, I saw it smoking when you drove in. 335 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,237 It's not my car. 336 00:18:37,238 --> 00:18:39,862 Where'd you say you're from? what's that service of yours again? 337 00:18:39,863 --> 00:18:40,817 - Baltimore. 338 00:18:40,818 --> 00:18:43,378 Never heard of that, Ma. We ever had the Baltimore Service? 339 00:18:43,379 --> 00:18:45,080 No 340 00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:49,246 - Mariette, come on out of there! - It's not the Baltimore Service. I'm from the In... 341 00:18:49,447 --> 00:18:53,724 Here, now! Mm-Mm, Mm-Mm Here, now, leave the car alone, please. 342 00:18:53,852 --> 00:18:55,396 Ok, but it sure needs a ring job. 343 00:18:55,397 --> 00:18:56,808 We have a maintenance department 344 00:18:56,809 --> 00:18:58,827 You tell them they're sure goofing off. 345 00:18:58,968 --> 00:19:01,775 You two want to fix something, fix the television set. 346 00:19:02,846 --> 00:19:04,819 Get in the house. Go on, scoot. Move. 347 00:19:04,924 --> 00:19:06,343 - Mariette, do you hear me? 348 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,353 - Come on, let's go! 349 00:19:13,917 --> 00:19:14,986 Mr. Larkin, now... 350 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,914 Boy, it's worth your life to get caught in the haystack with those three. 351 00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:20,432 - Mr. Charlton, this is our daughter, Mariette. - How do you do? 352 00:19:20,433 --> 00:19:22,669 Hey, you're the one I jumped in front of, down the road? 353 00:19:22,670 --> 00:19:23,990 Yes, that was I. 354 00:19:23,991 --> 00:19:25,869 Bet I scared you, didn't I? 355 00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:29,182 Oh, startled, rather, very daring of horsemanship... 356 00:19:29,347 --> 00:19:31,397 horse womanship, I should say. 357 00:19:31,907 --> 00:19:35,184 Oh, Ican tell you've had a fine education, Mr. Charlton. 358 00:19:36,063 --> 00:19:37,381 Oh, oh, oh... nice dog! 359 00:19:43,497 --> 00:19:45,774 Oh, Get him off my car! 360 00:19:45,775 --> 00:19:46,933 Nice goat, nice goat! 361 00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,406 I see you like animals... 362 00:19:48,574 --> 00:19:49,741 Within reason, yes... 363 00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:52,809 They know. You know, that goat, she's very choosy. 364 00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:55,887 most of the time, the only thing she ever goes for is another goat. 365 00:19:55,888 --> 00:19:58,127 I'd appreciate it if you'd point out her error to her. 366 00:19:58,128 --> 00:20:00,614 Pretty good. How about a turkey for your missus? 367 00:20:00,615 --> 00:20:03,282 - Beg your pardon? - How about taking a Turkey home for your wife? 368 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:05,452 Oh, I'm not married. Thank you! 369 00:20:06,162 --> 00:20:09,628 Mariette, you go change your clothes. A girl like you wearing pants. 370 00:20:09,638 --> 00:20:12,036 - Ma... - Do what I tell you, hon. 371 00:20:12,037 --> 00:20:14,153 Mr. Charlton, you'll stay and eat? 372 00:20:14,154 --> 00:20:15,799 No thanks, I'm not allowed to. 373 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,631 What do you mean, you're not allowed to eat? 374 00:20:17,632 --> 00:20:19,910 - You're not on one of those starvation diets? - Oh, no, no, of course not. 375 00:20:19,911 --> 00:20:22,259 - That settles it, then. Girls ... - I can't, I can't 376 00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:23,268 Sure, you can. I want you to stay... 377 00:20:23,269 --> 00:20:26,465 ...and tell me all about that services of yours May be we can use a little. Come on. 378 00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:28,424 I don't think you understand exactly... 379 00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:36,416 Girls, set another place. Vicky, get the fried chicken and the pig's knuckles. 380 00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:38,897 Grant, I think Isabela wants to go out. 381 00:20:38,898 --> 00:20:41,294 That's right, Susie. Just put that chair right down here. 382 00:20:41,295 --> 00:20:43,682 You get the biscuit and open some... 383 00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:46,942 Oh, and, Susie, fetch me a can of that goose liver. 384 00:20:47,093 --> 00:20:48,615 Ready in a jiffy, Mr. Charlton. 385 00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:50,049 I thought I made it quite clear... 386 00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,687 I told you don't worry. It's no trouble at all. 387 00:20:51,688 --> 00:20:54,196 We have people droping in all the time. 388 00:20:55,406 --> 00:20:58,109 Cute, huh? Well, here we are. 389 00:20:58,962 --> 00:21:02,481 This will put teeth in your appetite I tell you, Red Lion hits the spot 390 00:21:02,482 --> 00:21:04,079 - No thank you, Mr Larkin - No beer? 391 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,180 - No beer. - No beer. 392 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,076 Mr.Larkin, may I have your attention... 393 00:21:07,077 --> 00:21:12,040 Shh... Hold everything. I got it. Homemade applejack. This will grow hair. 394 00:21:12,154 --> 00:21:14,015 Mr. Larkin, I am an agent of ... 395 00:21:14,016 --> 00:21:15,734 of the United States government. 396 00:21:15,911 --> 00:21:18,418 And I'm here to talk to you about your income tax. 397 00:21:20,149 --> 00:21:22,426 Hi-de-ho, what do you know? 398 00:21:22,746 --> 00:21:23,913 You hear that, Ma? 399 00:21:23,986 --> 00:21:25,135 A government man! 400 00:21:25,144 --> 00:21:28,838 So, you see, I can't take favors from taxpayers. 401 00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:32,885 Who's a taxpayer? I never paid a tax in my life. 402 00:21:33,218 --> 00:21:34,919 Did I, Ma? Ask Ma. Did I? 403 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,026 - No, that's right. He never did. - Never. 404 00:21:38,027 --> 00:21:41,500 Would you mind turning that down, the volume on that thing for just a minute? 405 00:21:41,692 --> 00:21:43,934 Boys, turn the set off, will you? Can't hear ourselves think. 406 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:47,200 Worst TV we ever had. . I'm gonna throw that out and get a new one 407 00:21:47,201 --> 00:21:51,200 - Aw, give it a chance, Pa, I'll fix it. - Well, just one more chance, 408 00:21:51,558 --> 00:21:54,402 but if she starts acting up again, I'm warning you, out she goes 409 00:21:54,403 --> 00:21:56,721 Mr. Larkin, not only have you never once paid any income tax, 410 00:21:56,722 --> 00:22:00,114 but you've never even filed an income tax return. 411 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,631 What's that? Return? 412 00:22:01,678 --> 00:22:03,269 Yes, one of these forms. 413 00:22:05,715 --> 00:22:08,941 Well, I... I never got one, so how could I return it? 414 00:22:08,993 --> 00:22:12,459 Mr.Larkin, everyone who has a gross annual income ofr $600 or more, 415 00:22:12,551 --> 00:22:14,881 has got to file an income tax return. 416 00:22:14,882 --> 00:22:18,745 Well, that lets me out. All I got is $183, the most money I've had in couple of years, I tell you. 417 00:22:18,746 --> 00:22:21,252 Are you aware of the penalties... 418 00:22:22,303 --> 00:22:24,102 - Mr. Charlton from the Government, 419 00:22:24,103 --> 00:22:25,464 From the US government. 420 00:22:25,661 --> 00:22:27,660 Yeah, I know. 421 00:22:27,661 --> 00:22:29,481 I saw the license on the car. 422 00:22:29,579 --> 00:22:31,605 Smart, she doesn't miss a trick. 423 00:22:31,606 --> 00:22:35,333 Well, what's holding up the parade? Come on, everybody, let's eat. 424 00:22:35,334 --> 00:22:37,792 Grant, come a-running, Boy! 425 00:22:40,691 --> 00:22:42,010 Ahh. 426 00:22:44,607 --> 00:22:47,209 Aren't you hungry, Mr.Charlton? Come on, sit down! 427 00:22:47,210 --> 00:22:49,602 Maybe I'll have a cup of coffee... 428 00:22:49,603 --> 00:22:52,470 No coffee for you, young man, unless you eat your lunch. 429 00:22:54,604 --> 00:22:59,155 Mr.Larkin, it's obvious, just looking around... 430 00:22:59,156 --> 00:23:02,883 that your gross annual income has got to be at least over $600. 431 00:23:07,591 --> 00:23:09,937 Um, Uh... Go ahead, Grant, It's your turn. 432 00:23:09,938 --> 00:23:11,626 Thank you for the world so sweet. 433 00:23:11,627 --> 00:23:14,016 Thank you for the bisds that ... 434 00:23:20,063 --> 00:23:22,875 Oh yeah... Thank you for the world so sweet. 435 00:23:22,940 --> 00:23:24,533 Thank you for the food we eat 436 00:23:24,579 --> 00:23:27,091 Thank you for the birds that sing. 437 00:23:27,097 --> 00:23:28,995 Thank you Lord for everything. 438 00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:30,744 Mr. Larkin... 439 00:23:32,674 --> 00:23:37,290 Ahem. You've been real generous with us, O Lord, 440 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,726 and I promise we'll do our best to pay you back 441 00:23:39,729 --> 00:23:41,625 That's all for now. 442 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:45,230 Except thanks for sending this fine young fellow... 443 00:23:45,404 --> 00:23:47,792 to share thy heavenly bounty. 444 00:23:48,202 --> 00:23:50,328 - Amen - Amen 445 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:51,000 - Mr.Larkin... 446 00:23:51,323 --> 00:23:53,270 - Hey, come on, Pop, throw me a biscuit. - Ok you got it, Lee. 447 00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,270 That's the best crab salad in the world. 448 00:24:01,271 --> 00:24:03,272 No, no, no, please, no. 449 00:24:03,271 --> 00:24:05,101 How do you expect to stay alive? 450 00:24:05,102 --> 00:24:07,747 No offense, but you look downright seedy 451 00:24:07,748 --> 00:24:08,865 I suppose so. 452 00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:11,546 It's that city air, dirtied up your blood, hey, Pa? 453 00:24:11,547 --> 00:24:13,783 Yep. I took one look at you and I said to myself... 454 00:24:13,784 --> 00:24:16,615 "what he needs is a few days in the country". 455 00:24:16,616 --> 00:24:20,698 - Oh, a grand thought! Adore to have you. - Got plenty of room. The more the merrier. 456 00:24:20,699 --> 00:24:23,325 Mr. Larkin, please listen to me. 457 00:24:23,777 --> 00:24:26,437 I'm here to investigate you. 458 00:24:26,495 --> 00:24:28,806 There's strong presumptive evidence... 459 00:24:28,973 --> 00:24:31,555 that you've been violating federal law for years. 460 00:24:31,731 --> 00:24:33,583 Strong what? Violating? 461 00:24:33,730 --> 00:24:35,322 He says you're a crook. 462 00:24:35,369 --> 00:24:36,765 That's not what I said. 463 00:24:37,087 --> 00:24:39,374 Oh no? That's what it sounde like. 464 00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:41,004 It didn't sound like that to me. 465 00:24:41,005 --> 00:24:44,359 Don't mind her, son Just what can I do for you? 466 00:24:44,403 --> 00:24:47,503 Well, first I would like to look at your books. 467 00:24:47,504 --> 00:24:50,918 I don't do much reading, you can see the whole lot of them. They're just back there. 468 00:24:50,919 --> 00:24:54,847 Your accounts, records of sales, profits last year... 469 00:24:54,915 --> 00:24:56,430 cash on hand... 470 00:24:56,513 --> 00:24:58,891 Hold on, young man. I hardly never deal in money. 471 00:24:59,271 --> 00:25:01,100 That's the truth, Pop trades things. 472 00:25:01,101 --> 00:25:04,027 You know, his pop was the greatest horse-trader you ever saw. 473 00:25:04,028 --> 00:25:07,070 I told you I got $183 in cash That's all I have, all I need. 474 00:25:07,186 --> 00:25:09,866 If we want something, I go out and trade for it 475 00:25:09,867 --> 00:25:11,142 You want to see the money? 476 00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:12,421 You'll take my word for it. 477 00:25:12,422 --> 00:25:14,980 No, it's not a question of doubting your words. Mr.Larkin. 478 00:25:14,981 --> 00:25:17,139 Of course not, of course not... 479 00:25:17,178 --> 00:25:20,854 Mr.Larkin, just now, out in the yard, 480 00:25:20,913 --> 00:25:24,699 I saw a big refrigerator in the truck. 481 00:25:24,761 --> 00:25:26,212 How much did that cost you? 482 00:25:26,213 --> 00:25:28,548 One secondhand manure spreader. 483 00:25:30,330 --> 00:25:32,842 Mm-hmm, how much did manure spreader cost you? 484 00:25:32,848 --> 00:25:34,396 About 50 loadss of manure. 485 00:25:35,965 --> 00:25:37,240 Now, Mr. Larkin... 486 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,963 It's A-1, first-class manure Pop get it at the diary. 487 00:25:39,964 --> 00:25:41,802 First of all It's screened, and then it's aged... 488 00:25:41,803 --> 00:25:43,274 all right, all right... 489 00:25:44,719 --> 00:25:46,796 How much did the manure cost you? 490 00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:48,160 2 cows. 491 00:25:49,315 --> 00:25:50,554 Are you trying to tell me... 492 00:25:50,555 --> 00:25:53,142 that there was no cash involved at all? 493 00:25:53,153 --> 00:25:57,963 Well, you see, son, there is no hard feelings with a trade. 494 00:25:58,069 --> 00:26:00,387 In a trade, both people want something, 495 00:26:00,388 --> 00:26:02,133 and they each get what they want. 496 00:26:02,226 --> 00:26:04,099 with money, it's not the same story, 497 00:26:04,100 --> 00:26:06,863 like the time the army came here and took all those horses 498 00:26:06,864 --> 00:26:09,955 They promised to pay, and nobody ever got a nickel. 499 00:26:10,218 --> 00:26:11,527 - When was this? - What? 500 00:26:12,701 --> 00:26:15,799 - When was this? - During the war. The Civil War, 1863. 501 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,255 - I see. - Now, my great-grandfather... 502 00:26:17,256 --> 00:26:18,634 Yes, yes, alright, alright... 503 00:26:18,635 --> 00:26:23,089 I'm willing to make a complete appraisal of everything you own... 504 00:26:23,090 --> 00:26:24,730 I think we'll just proceed from your there 505 00:26:24,731 --> 00:26:26,092 That sounds fair enough. 506 00:26:26,128 --> 00:26:27,797 I'd like to warn you, Mr. Larkin... 507 00:26:28,689 --> 00:26:31,556 to start getting together all the cash you can right now... 508 00:26:32,046 --> 00:26:35,132 because from the looks of things you're going to need it. 509 00:26:37,761 --> 00:26:39,200 Where are you two up to? 510 00:26:39,241 --> 00:26:42,309 Don't worry Pop, we'll take care of it, Mr. Charlton. 511 00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:57,627 Hold out your hands. 512 00:26:57,628 --> 00:26:59,484 Me and Susie have been selling flowers. 513 00:26:59,485 --> 00:27:01,361 It was for Pop's birthday present, 514 00:27:01,362 --> 00:27:02,588 But I guess he needs it more now.. 515 00:27:02,589 --> 00:27:03,872 Will that help? 516 00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:06,274 It's $4 and 10 cents. 517 00:27:11,266 --> 00:27:14,137 We don't take money from children. 518 00:27:15,415 --> 00:27:17,574 I didn't mean to threaten you, Mr. Larkin. 519 00:27:18,052 --> 00:27:20,331 If I can, I want to keep you out of trouble. 520 00:27:20,411 --> 00:27:23,765 Actually, it's part of my job to be of assisstance to taxpayers. 521 00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:25,808 Well, that's more like it. 522 00:27:25,809 --> 00:27:28,435 for a moment there, you had me worried. 523 00:27:28,486 --> 00:27:31,840 You know why you got sore? You're hungry 524 00:27:31,841 --> 00:27:34,031 That's right. Come on Sit down and let's eat. 525 00:27:34,032 --> 00:27:36,239 You've been working too hard. 526 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,364 After lunch, you and Mariette have a nice walk in the meadow. 527 00:27:39,396 --> 00:27:42,189 The flowers are just lovely this year. Just lovely. 528 00:27:42,190 --> 00:27:44,417 May I have that cup of coffee now, Mrs. Larkin? 529 00:27:44,418 --> 00:27:46,145 - Certainly. - Coffee? 530 00:27:46,146 --> 00:27:48,390 - What you want a nice cold bottle of beer - No, no... 531 00:27:48,391 --> 00:27:50,611 I got one right here, yes, sir. 532 00:27:55,026 --> 00:27:56,575 Tubs, 2 sinks... 533 00:28:00,103 --> 00:28:02,304 And six plumbing fixtures... 534 00:28:04,899 --> 00:28:07,750 I don't know very much about livestocks... 535 00:28:07,807 --> 00:28:09,910 How old are these mules? 536 00:28:09,911 --> 00:28:11,342 Donkeys. 537 00:28:11,415 --> 00:28:14,593 Well, Algy here is 5 and Mabel is 4. 538 00:28:14,629 --> 00:28:16,177 - They are married. - Hmm? 539 00:28:20,125 --> 00:28:29,056 Well, a sort of. You see, Mabel's pregnant It's that time of year, you know? 540 00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:32,357 Ah, you can feel it in the air, can't you? 541 00:28:32,358 --> 00:28:36,875 Look, how much would you say these mules are worth? 542 00:28:36,876 --> 00:28:38,348 these donkeys are worth? 543 00:28:39,249 --> 00:28:41,255 Don't ask me. 544 00:28:41,256 --> 00:28:43,616 - Well, would you say $35? - I don't know. 545 00:28:43,617 --> 00:28:44,669 Would you say $40? 546 00:28:44,670 --> 00:28:46,422 Say, how old are you? 547 00:28:46,423 --> 00:28:49,107 Considerably older than when I first arrived here. 548 00:28:49,108 --> 00:28:50,265 Would you say 50$? 549 00:28:50,266 --> 00:28:53,813 I guess so. And how old were you then? 550 00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:57,108 29. 551 00:29:02,391 --> 00:29:03,776 How it's going, Pop? 552 00:29:03,777 --> 00:29:06,462 Perfect, Ma, just perfect. 553 00:29:10,293 --> 00:29:13,341 Look at her... doesn't she break your heart? 554 00:29:13,371 --> 00:29:17,275 Oh yes, definitely. How much is the sow worth? 555 00:29:18,805 --> 00:29:21,840 That's all you think about? How much? 556 00:29:23,244 --> 00:29:26,523 Oh, relax, this is Red He won't hurt you. 557 00:29:26,524 --> 00:29:28,440 Look, look, feel his nose. Just like velvet 558 00:29:28,441 --> 00:29:29,584 fine-looking steed. 559 00:29:29,585 --> 00:29:31,437 He's only the best horse in Maryland. That's all 560 00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:34,025 Really? How much you pay for him? 561 00:29:35,075 --> 00:29:38,362 He was born on our farm and I raise him from a colt. 562 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:39,871 And you give me a big, fat pain. 563 00:29:39,872 --> 00:29:41,815 I regret it very much. 564 00:29:41,950 --> 00:29:44,144 Wait! 565 00:29:44,694 --> 00:29:46,981 How large is the farm? 566 00:29:47,013 --> 00:29:48,756 90 acres. 567 00:29:48,765 --> 00:29:50,184 How long have you owned it? 568 00:29:50,546 --> 00:29:52,384 150 years. 569 00:29:52,385 --> 00:29:54,606 Would you please answer my question? 570 00:29:54,664 --> 00:29:58,718 It belonged to his Pop, and his Pop, and his Pop, and his Pop! 571 00:29:58,827 --> 00:30:00,235 We've owned it for 150 years. 572 00:30:00,236 --> 00:30:03,337 Well, hear this: if you and your pop don't start cooperating... 573 00:30:03,338 --> 00:30:05,826 Scram! You're not going to own it much longer. 574 00:30:05,827 --> 00:30:07,344 Where are you going? 575 00:30:07,345 --> 00:30:10,651 To talk to your father, There's no point in trying to talk to you. 576 00:30:10,652 --> 00:30:11,769 Wait a minute 577 00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:14,817 Oh, I'm sorry Mr.Charlton, I know you're trying to help us... 578 00:30:14,847 --> 00:30:16,744 I'm just try to do my job. 579 00:30:17,527 --> 00:30:19,602 Oh, I've got a terrible temper. 580 00:30:19,965 --> 00:30:21,413 But I get over it right away. 581 00:30:21,414 --> 00:30:25,959 And you're not the kind that gets mad and stays mad, are you? 582 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:27,079 No, Miss Larkin. 583 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,639 Why don't you call me Mariette? 584 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,275 - Oh, my. - Let's get on with the appraisal, shall we? 585 00:30:32,276 --> 00:30:34,033 Hard as nails, aren't you? In a pig's eye. 586 00:30:34,034 --> 00:30:36,929 You know, I've got your number. 587 00:30:36,951 --> 00:30:39,938 Fine, while you appraise me, I'll appraise the property. 588 00:30:40,191 --> 00:30:43,027 Wait... you want to see the most valuable thing we've got? 589 00:30:43,028 --> 00:30:44,196 What, what? 590 00:30:44,348 --> 00:30:47,275 Well, I can't tell you about it but I'll show you. Come on! 591 00:30:54,100 --> 00:30:56,108 How much farther? 592 00:30:56,128 --> 00:30:57,577 There. Isn't that beautiful? 593 00:30:57,578 --> 00:30:58,726 Beautiful. 594 00:30:58,856 --> 00:31:00,335 Now, don't you feel better? 595 00:31:00,336 --> 00:31:01,654 I feel perfectly fine. 596 00:31:01,655 --> 00:31:03,147 I know, I know. 597 00:31:03,148 --> 00:31:05,612 Whenever I get in a nasty mood like you were... 598 00:31:05,613 --> 00:31:06,848 I wasn't in a nasty mood! 599 00:31:06,849 --> 00:31:11,652 I just come out here, and I lie down and listen. And look. 600 00:31:12,048 --> 00:31:15,241 And in no time at all, whatever's been bothering me seem... 601 00:31:15,805 --> 00:31:18,966 no bigger than a leaf on a whole tree. 602 00:31:21,121 --> 00:31:24,827 Now, you tell me how much that's worth and I'll pay the taxes on it myself. 603 00:31:27,037 --> 00:31:28,205 It's nice. 604 00:31:30,154 --> 00:31:32,542 Say, uh..., why don't you come and sit over here? 605 00:31:40,627 --> 00:31:43,974 Pop says if heaven is anything like this, He wouldn't mind dying. 606 00:31:44,505 --> 00:31:46,358 Except it's too nice being alive. 607 00:31:47,422 --> 00:31:49,320 Hey, listen... Meadowlarks. 608 00:31:49,423 --> 00:31:50,499 Where? 609 00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:52,038 Look, look, right over there. 610 00:31:52,938 --> 00:31:54,655 See? Bet you never saw one before. 611 00:31:54,656 --> 00:31:55,805 No, I never did. 612 00:31:57,016 --> 00:31:59,790 Golly, aren't they beautiful? 613 00:32:03,930 --> 00:32:06,294 Thank you for the bird that sing. 614 00:32:06,295 --> 00:32:08,488 Thank you Lord for everything. 615 00:32:10,286 --> 00:32:11,435 Amen. 616 00:32:20,759 --> 00:32:23,241 Say, how can you live in a stinking city? 617 00:32:24,075 --> 00:32:25,224 I work there. 618 00:32:26,314 --> 00:32:28,903 And I study law at night. 619 00:32:28,914 --> 00:32:30,063 A lawyer? 620 00:32:30,072 --> 00:32:31,491 Well, not for another year. 621 00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,149 And then I'm off to Washington. 622 00:32:33,549 --> 00:32:34,698 What for? 623 00:32:35,188 --> 00:32:37,146 Experiences, contacts... 624 00:32:37,147 --> 00:32:39,774 In another four years I intend to run for Congress. 625 00:32:40,106 --> 00:32:41,501 - No kidding? - Yeah. 626 00:32:41,623 --> 00:32:42,986 How come? 627 00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:47,747 Well, I could tell you, but you may not like the answer. 628 00:32:47,980 --> 00:32:49,180 I'll take a chance. 629 00:32:50,378 --> 00:32:53,163 Well, a tax investigator gets a pretty clear picture... 630 00:32:53,164 --> 00:32:55,213 of what's wrong with this country. 631 00:32:55,214 --> 00:32:57,111 You have no idea, no conception of... 632 00:32:57,112 --> 00:32:59,554 how many irresponsible people I meet... 633 00:32:59,555 --> 00:33:01,768 completely obviously to any sense of duty. 634 00:33:01,769 --> 00:33:04,936 Not merely dodging their taxes, every aspect of their lives. 635 00:33:05,167 --> 00:33:10,592 Take your family, for example, well, I don't intend to be critical, of course. 636 00:33:10,593 --> 00:33:14,320 But what are you contributing to the national welfare? Nothing. 637 00:33:14,321 --> 00:33:17,520 Where are you headed? Nowhere. 638 00:33:17,557 --> 00:33:18,802 No ambitions, no goals. 639 00:33:18,917 --> 00:33:21,196 Just eat, drink and have a good time. 640 00:33:22,235 --> 00:33:27,200 It's not your fault, not entirely. It's up to the leaders of this country to revitalize the entire 641 00:33:36,265 --> 00:33:39,782 - What was that for? - Cause you're so cute. 642 00:33:39,783 --> 00:33:43,537 Cause I felt like it, What's the matter? Don't you want to kiss me? 643 00:33:43,538 --> 00:33:46,545 - No, No. I don't, I don't - You don't? 644 00:33:48,919 --> 00:33:51,146 Please, let's go, please, let's go, huh... 645 00:33:54,891 --> 00:34:05,637 Oh, oh my goodness!... Come on, boy, come on, Red ! 646 00:34:09,888 --> 00:34:16,140 - What are you kid doing now? - How does she looks, Mr.Charlton? 647 00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:18,315 Yes, she looks fine but you shouldn't be doing this sort of thing 648 00:34:18,316 --> 00:34:20,751 Why not? You're helping us so we're helping you 649 00:34:20,752 --> 00:34:22,830 Like Pop says, one hand washes the other. 650 00:34:22,951 --> 00:34:25,110 Mr. Larkin, you should not let them do this. 651 00:34:25,270 --> 00:34:28,958 Why not? Do unto others and they'll do unto you. 652 00:34:29,052 --> 00:34:30,759 How is thing coming along? 653 00:34:30,767 --> 00:34:31,879 Not so good... 654 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:37,187 Mr. Charlton fell into the river and got his pants wet, Pa. 655 00:34:37,188 --> 00:34:38,498 You sure did wet them! 656 00:34:38,499 --> 00:34:40,339 Come on up the house, and I'll give you a dry pair. 657 00:34:40,340 --> 00:34:42,399 I do not require dry pants. 658 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,015 What happened to the refrigerator? 659 00:34:45,016 --> 00:34:47,065 Oh, that? I traded it. Did ok, too. 660 00:34:47,174 --> 00:34:49,741 Well, I'm going to have to know the exact details. 661 00:34:50,012 --> 00:34:55,445 Mr. Charlton, telephone long distance. 662 00:34:57,208 --> 00:34:58,482 Oh, excuse me. 663 00:34:59,525 --> 00:35:02,422 A Mr. Kelsey from Baltimore. 664 00:35:02,762 --> 00:35:04,124 Oh, thank you. 665 00:35:09,078 --> 00:35:10,550 How'd it go, sweetie? 666 00:35:11,635 --> 00:35:12,957 What's that mean? 667 00:35:13,674 --> 00:35:15,267 You like him, don't you? 668 00:35:15,355 --> 00:35:17,054 Pa, quit shoving me... 669 00:35:17,233 --> 00:35:19,131 I'll decide whether I like him or not. 670 00:35:21,590 --> 00:35:23,512 Sure, I like him. 671 00:35:23,948 --> 00:35:26,507 At first, I thought he was a cold fish, you know. 672 00:35:27,146 --> 00:35:30,672 But when he looked out over that river, you should have seen his face... 673 00:35:30,703 --> 00:35:34,279 It was like he just woke up and saw it's Christmas. 674 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:35,538 That's nice, huh, Pa? 675 00:35:35,539 --> 00:35:37,876 Perfect, what'd he say? 676 00:35:38,018 --> 00:35:40,835 Well he told me all about his plans and ambitions. 677 00:35:40,855 --> 00:35:43,521 That's a good sign, then what? 678 00:35:43,571 --> 00:35:48,112 Then I kissed him and he acted like I'd spit in his ear. 679 00:35:52,926 --> 00:35:56,549 Honey, that kind of fish don't jump into your lap. 680 00:35:56,606 --> 00:35:58,712 You got to bait the hook 681 00:35:58,722 --> 00:36:01,108 Look, go put in your pink dress 682 00:36:01,201 --> 00:36:05,781 and use some of my new perfume that "orgy". 683 00:36:05,879 --> 00:36:10,424 - I used some the other night and Pop nearly came unhinged - Nearly? Ahem. Mighty powerful 684 00:36:11,035 --> 00:36:14,667 Ma It's not "orgy", it's "orgie". 685 00:36:14,758 --> 00:36:16,838 Orgie. 686 00:36:18,188 --> 00:36:23,152 Ma... maybe she's right, 687 00:36:23,267 --> 00:36:24,623 Don't rush her. 688 00:36:24,624 --> 00:36:28,744 Poppy, listen, that top branch, somebody special... He's it. 689 00:36:28,822 --> 00:36:32,810 And she likes him a lot more than she lets on. 690 00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,381 I know Mariette. 691 00:36:35,388 --> 00:36:37,334 Mark my words She's feeling right now... 692 00:36:37,335 --> 00:36:39,483 ... the way I felt first time I set eyes on you. 693 00:36:44,393 --> 00:36:47,611 Ok, Ma, if you're that sure... 694 00:36:47,648 --> 00:36:49,958 Let's go nail him. 695 00:36:52,766 --> 00:36:53,915 Mm-hmm. No. 696 00:36:54,923 --> 00:36:56,072 No. 697 00:37:01,399 --> 00:37:02,548 Yes sir. 698 00:37:04,916 --> 00:37:06,065 Yes sir. 699 00:37:08,632 --> 00:37:09,781 Yeah. 700 00:37:10,793 --> 00:37:11,942 Yes sir. 701 00:37:12,269 --> 00:37:16,199 Well... it's a rather complicated business. 702 00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:18,544 No cash, no record, nothing... 703 00:37:18,545 --> 00:37:21,185 He comes from a long line of horse traders. 704 00:37:21,234 --> 00:37:23,833 Horse thieves. According to our friend Burnshaw. 705 00:37:23,834 --> 00:37:26,657 Well, let's remember that Mr.Burnshaw is an informer. 706 00:37:26,658 --> 00:37:30,057 Let's remember that he has connections in the Treasury Department. 707 00:37:30,058 --> 00:37:31,615 But don't let that influence you. 708 00:37:31,616 --> 00:37:33,775 You treat Larkin like any tax-dodger... 709 00:37:33,816 --> 00:37:37,714 slap an iron door on his loophole and smoke him out 710 00:37:37,865 --> 00:37:43,277 Yes fine, I'll call you as soon as I get be back tonight. 711 00:37:43,278 --> 00:37:45,725 - Hear that? - What's the matter? 712 00:37:45,726 --> 00:37:48,595 He's gonna leave, Pop, you better think of something. 713 00:37:48,765 --> 00:37:52,093 - Hey, Pop, I could do a ring job on his car. - Say... 714 00:37:52,094 --> 00:37:54,518 You can't do that! Car belongs to the Government. 715 00:37:54,519 --> 00:37:55,668 Yeah, that's right. 716 00:37:55,839 --> 00:37:56,988 Right 717 00:37:58,357 --> 00:38:01,807 Alright, Mr. Larkin, Let's get down to cases, shall we? 718 00:38:02,074 --> 00:38:04,581 You've had a hard day Why not skip it for now? 719 00:38:04,633 --> 00:38:06,153 You stay with us tonight... 720 00:38:06,154 --> 00:38:07,302 No, Mrs.Larkin. 721 00:38:07,471 --> 00:38:10,149 You wouldn't be any bother. We got a nice foam mat 722 00:38:10,150 --> 00:38:13,706 I could put it there on the pool table and you'd be as snug as a bug in a rug. 723 00:38:13,707 --> 00:38:16,883 Mr.Larkin, stop dodging the issue. 724 00:38:17,184 --> 00:38:20,519 Tell me something, Do you love your family? 725 00:38:21,182 --> 00:38:22,419 Plenty, but why?... 726 00:38:22,420 --> 00:38:24,698 When a taxpayer shortchanges the Government 727 00:38:24,699 --> 00:38:27,334 It's the same thing as if he's shortchanged his own family. 728 00:38:27,335 --> 00:38:28,374 Why? 729 00:38:28,375 --> 00:38:30,255 Because the Government belongs to everybody. 730 00:38:30,256 --> 00:38:32,599 Don't you understand that? 731 00:38:34,812 --> 00:38:40,270 Well, you mean, well, like that government car that's out there that belongs to everybody? 732 00:38:40,405 --> 00:38:42,781 Exactly. That is exactly what I mean. 733 00:38:44,724 --> 00:38:48,310 What are you two standing around for? Don't you have some thing to do? 734 00:38:48,504 --> 00:38:51,534 Yeah, come on, Grant. 735 00:38:52,839 --> 00:38:56,605 - Mr. Charlton, here's your coat. I'll just put it here - Thank you very much. 736 00:38:57,194 --> 00:39:01,420 My throat's kind of dry, I think I'll whip up a little refreshment 737 00:39:01,538 --> 00:39:05,423 Good, I'm feeling kind of parched myself.. How about you, Mr. Charlton? 738 00:39:05,525 --> 00:39:06,674 I'm fine, thanks. 739 00:39:11,986 --> 00:39:13,652 Name your poison, Ma. 740 00:39:13,657 --> 00:39:17,446 That black lightning's nice. The one with Scotch and Cream de Cocoa? 741 00:39:19,458 --> 00:39:21,590 I feel like something new. 742 00:39:23,576 --> 00:39:25,268 Here's a beauty! 743 00:39:25,275 --> 00:39:28,682 A laughing hyena. This will make you change your mind, Mr.Charlton. 744 00:39:29,932 --> 00:39:33,524 1 part Vermouth, 2 parts Gin and 3 parts Whiskey. 745 00:39:33,525 --> 00:39:35,447 What do you say? That'll tune your fiddle. 746 00:39:35,448 --> 00:39:38,183 I'm not musically inclined, thank you. 747 00:39:38,367 --> 00:39:41,924 Haha! That's a corker! Don't let me forget that, Ma. 748 00:39:42,683 --> 00:39:43,851 Ooh, you're so fresh. 749 00:39:43,884 --> 00:39:46,991 I have work to do here... Come on, Rusty, get out. I wanna sit down. 750 00:39:48,838 --> 00:39:50,256 Ohh, my feet are killing me. 751 00:39:54,594 --> 00:39:58,360 Now then, we're going to estimate the annual profits from your business. 752 00:39:58,392 --> 00:40:01,118 Pop told you he don't make any profit. 753 00:40:01,169 --> 00:40:02,474 That's right. 754 00:40:02,475 --> 00:40:04,832 every transaction involves a profit. 755 00:40:04,833 --> 00:40:08,839 For instance, he started out with two cows, and he woud up with a refrigerator. 756 00:40:09,424 --> 00:40:11,838 Mr.Charlton dear, the refrigerator is gone! 757 00:40:12,142 --> 00:40:13,921 I'm only citing that as an example 758 00:40:14,459 --> 00:40:18,184 Now, what would it cost to buy 2 cows? 759 00:40:18,378 --> 00:40:20,889 Well, there's cows and there's cows. 760 00:40:21,175 --> 00:40:23,333 The 2 cows you traded, 761 00:40:23,359 --> 00:40:25,134 What would they go for? 762 00:40:25,373 --> 00:40:27,415 Well, now, let's see... 763 00:40:28,329 --> 00:40:33,182 A couple of cows like that about 400 or 500$. 764 00:40:33,328 --> 00:40:35,885 - Thank you very much. - You're welcome. 765 00:40:41,282 --> 00:40:43,809 - Here, clean it real good. - Okey-dokey. 766 00:40:51,319 --> 00:40:52,468 Windy!. 767 00:41:30,597 --> 00:41:34,481 Now then, let's see if we've got this right. 768 00:41:34,482 --> 00:41:36,620 Don't hesitate to correct me if I'm wrong. 769 00:41:37,041 --> 00:41:39,150 - 2 cows are 500$. - That's right. 770 00:41:39,151 --> 00:41:42,047 Cow for manure, manure for manure spreader... 771 00:41:42,069 --> 00:41:44,087 and manure spreader for refrigerator. 772 00:41:44,475 --> 00:41:47,876 A refrigerator that size would be worth at least $800 773 00:41:47,921 --> 00:41:50,488 Now then, what did you get for the refrigerator? 774 00:41:56,953 --> 00:41:58,119 What was that again? 775 00:41:58,352 --> 00:42:00,370 What did you get for the refrigerator? 776 00:42:02,225 --> 00:42:05,092 Oh, I got a first-class second-hand electrical organ. 777 00:42:05,941 --> 00:42:07,216 An organ... 778 00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:10,017 Here, this'll put some wind in your sails. 779 00:42:10,018 --> 00:42:11,949 I've all the wind I need, thank you. 780 00:42:12,136 --> 00:42:14,294 Haha! You now, you come up with some of the... 781 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000 Wow! 782 00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:25,700 You still at it? 783 00:42:34,569 --> 00:42:37,000 How's it coming? 784 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,079 How do you like my new dress? 785 00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:52,541 It's not too tight, is it? 786 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000 I lost my lens... 787 00:42:58,500 --> 00:43:02,000 Sure? Oh, here... Here it is, I have it. 788 00:43:04,132 --> 00:43:06,000 Here, want me to help you. Here, let me try. 789 00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:10,175 No, no. I can do it just as well with one. 790 00:43:20,686 --> 00:43:24,155 An electric organ should be worth at least $1000. 791 00:43:24,203 --> 00:43:28,235 So you now have a taxable profit of $500 792 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:29,749 Where's the 500$? 793 00:43:31,158 --> 00:43:33,517 You started out with two cows at $500... 794 00:43:33,518 --> 00:43:35,532 now you have a $1000 electric organ. 795 00:43:35,675 --> 00:43:37,948 Not me, I gave it to the church. 796 00:43:38,793 --> 00:43:40,113 Would you say that again. 797 00:43:40,353 --> 00:43:41,951 He said he gave it to the church. 798 00:43:42,869 --> 00:43:46,258 Why would you give a valuable electric organ to the church? 799 00:43:47,107 --> 00:43:51,000 Mr. Charlton, don't tell me you're an atheist! 800 00:43:51,146 --> 00:43:55,193 The Lord has been good to us and I promise to make it up to him. 801 00:44:08,652 --> 00:44:12,271 All right. You have a tax deduction of $500. 802 00:44:13,810 --> 00:44:17,044 $500! You said the organ is worth $1,000. 803 00:44:17,045 --> 00:44:19,464 You're trying to cheat us, Mr.Charlton? 804 00:44:19,465 --> 00:44:22,881 Ha ha! That's a horse on you, Mr. Charlton. 805 00:44:22,882 --> 00:44:25,134 because you weren't thinking she's smart. 806 00:44:25,635 --> 00:44:29,299 If you want to deduct something, how about deducting those army horses... 807 00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:31,286 that were swiped from us back in 1863? 808 00:44:31,736 --> 00:44:33,275 How about that, Mr. Charlton? 809 00:45:09,472 --> 00:45:15,471 I said to myself this affair never would go so well... 810 00:45:16,701 --> 00:45:23,000 But why do I try to resist, when darling I know... 811 00:45:23,352 --> 00:45:24,504 so well. 812 00:45:25,170 --> 00:45:27,733 I've got the... 813 00:45:28,111 --> 00:45:30,054 under my skin... 814 00:45:30,055 --> 00:45:34,700 Right after chow, Mr.Larkin we gotta settle this whole ugly matter. 815 00:45:34,701 --> 00:45:36,500 You bet your bottom, Mr. Charlton. 816 00:45:36,771 --> 00:45:40,500 Why do we call you Mr. Charlton? What is your first name? 817 00:45:40,767 --> 00:45:41,916 Lorenzo... 818 00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:45,303 That's a lovely name. 819 00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:47,840 - Perfect - Stinks. 820 00:45:48,342 --> 00:45:54,610 - Why don't we call you Charlie? - Feel free 821 00:45:55,777 --> 00:45:57,320 Wake up to reality... 822 00:46:02,313 --> 00:46:03,462 Bingo. 823 00:46:08,848 --> 00:46:14,300 - Charlie!, Charlie! Telefone. - Thank you. 824 00:46:14,801 --> 00:46:17,800 In spite of the warning voice, that comes in the night... 825 00:46:17,801 --> 00:46:20,984 and repeats and repeat I'll be right back... 826 00:46:23,637 --> 00:46:24,785 Oh sorry. 827 00:46:25,548 --> 00:46:27,644 Yo? 828 00:46:27,645 --> 00:46:30,551 Lorenzo, what's holding you up down there? 829 00:46:30,552 --> 00:46:31,730 What's holding me up? 830 00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:34,538 The truth of matter is...I'm defying the law of gravity. 831 00:46:35,148 --> 00:46:36,297 Sorry...? 832 00:46:36,467 --> 00:46:37,982 Lorenzo, what is the joke? 833 00:46:38,146 --> 00:46:39,346 Lorenzo? 834 00:46:40,465 --> 00:46:43,810 Call me Charlie. He thinks I'm Lorenzo. 835 00:46:45,222 --> 00:46:47,271 Charlton, are you all right? 836 00:46:47,858 --> 00:46:49,059 You bet your bottom. 837 00:46:49,258 --> 00:46:52,494 I got my fiddle tuned. I got wind in my sails 838 00:46:53,495 --> 00:46:56,350 Traded a laughing organ for an electric hyena. 839 00:46:57,276 --> 00:47:00,589 You're drunk, Lorenzo. Now you stop that. 840 00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:02,868 Look, is there anything wrong? 841 00:47:03,128 --> 00:47:05,864 Everything is perfect... just perfect. 842 00:47:06,245 --> 00:47:09,717 You're drunk, those tax-dodgers have got you drunk. 843 00:47:09,718 --> 00:47:12,320 Now listen, boy, can you drive? 844 00:47:12,321 --> 00:47:13,598 Can I drive? 845 00:47:17,039 --> 00:47:21,267 Use your mentality Wake up to reality... 846 00:47:22,355 --> 00:47:25,624 All right, boy. You just steady down. Now you get in your car... 847 00:47:25,712 --> 00:47:28,263 drive to the nearest town and get a room. 848 00:47:28,430 --> 00:47:29,750 - Do you hear me? - Roger 849 00:47:29,788 --> 00:47:32,492 You sleep it off and get back there tomorrow. 850 00:47:32,507 --> 00:47:34,404 - Understand? - Roger dodger. 851 00:47:34,627 --> 00:47:36,822 Tomorrow, you harpoon those tax-dodgers... 852 00:47:36,823 --> 00:47:38,754 and cut them to ribbons. 853 00:47:38,982 --> 00:47:41,504 Roger dodger, old codger. 854 00:47:43,099 --> 00:47:45,550 Although I am very far from you... 855 00:47:45,551 --> 00:47:48,135 Sacrifice anything, come what might... 856 00:47:48,136 --> 00:47:50,053 For the sake of having you near.. 857 00:47:50,054 --> 00:47:53,690 In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night, and repeat... 858 00:47:53,691 --> 00:47:55,290 Charlie, where are you going? 859 00:47:55,412 --> 00:47:57,493 Merry Christmas to everyone! 860 00:47:57,689 --> 00:47:58,856 And to all. Goodnight. 861 00:47:59,928 --> 00:48:01,077 Charlie! 862 00:48:01,645 --> 00:48:02,794 Charlie! 863 00:48:03,645 --> 00:48:06,273 I'd cacrifice anything, come what might... 864 00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:08,615 For the sake of having you near.. 865 00:48:08,616 --> 00:48:10,039 Charlie! In spite of... 866 00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,638 Charlie, where are you going? 867 00:48:12,679 --> 00:48:14,398 I got to go to a hotel and get a room. 868 00:48:14,677 --> 00:48:17,566 Hey, you're not going with me, huh? 869 00:48:17,674 --> 00:48:19,420 A small hotel? A wishing well? 870 00:48:19,514 --> 00:48:21,901 What are you talking about? You can't do that. 871 00:48:22,391 --> 00:48:24,853 Go back, go back... 872 00:48:24,948 --> 00:48:26,388 Charlie, Charlie... 873 00:48:26,709 --> 00:48:28,944 You can't get in the car. It has no motor! 874 00:48:29,188 --> 00:48:32,894 I never heard anything so silly. This car is fabulous for its motor, they... 875 00:48:35,622 --> 00:48:40,436 bumblestums...! Maintenance department sent me here without a motor. 876 00:48:40,697 --> 00:48:43,117 Charlie, Charlie. The boys are fixing it for you 877 00:48:43,118 --> 00:48:45,335 It's right there. Now, come on, Let's get back to the house. 878 00:48:45,336 --> 00:48:47,064 - They can't do that! - What? 879 00:48:55,767 --> 00:48:57,965 - Charlie, - Come on, leave it alone. 880 00:48:57,966 --> 00:48:59,904 I got to get a room. Now stand back. 881 00:49:00,966 --> 00:49:03,517 Charlie, Charlie! 882 00:49:10,589 --> 00:49:12,685 Charlie! 883 00:49:12,686 --> 00:49:15,233 Lee, Grant, you go up and get the foam mattress. 884 00:49:15,234 --> 00:49:17,072 You twins, clear off the pool table. 885 00:49:18,372 --> 00:49:19,851 Here, come on. 886 00:49:19,852 --> 00:49:21,208 Come on, Laddie, 887 00:49:21,209 --> 00:49:22,328 easy does it. 888 00:49:22,329 --> 00:49:25,142 Attaboy 889 00:49:25,207 --> 00:49:27,442 - Where's Mariette? - I'm here, Charlie. 890 00:49:31,043 --> 00:49:32,882 Hey, clear off those balls, Grant! 891 00:49:43,595 --> 00:49:44,762 Let me go! 892 00:49:45,473 --> 00:49:48,100 - This is the smalest... - Take your coat off, Charlie 893 00:49:49,591 --> 00:49:51,199 - You know something? - What? 894 00:49:51,468 --> 00:49:53,136 -You're nice. - Down, down, boy. 895 00:49:53,907 --> 00:49:55,684 - You're nice too. 896 00:49:56,743 --> 00:49:58,987 - Oh, no, All right. - Good night. 897 00:50:00,063 --> 00:50:01,969 - Time to sleep. - Where's Mariette? 898 00:50:01,970 --> 00:50:04,579 - Cover him with the blanket. - Where's Mariette? 899 00:50:04,580 --> 00:50:05,729 Mariette. 900 00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:11,075 Hey, don't you take liberties. 901 00:50:11,254 --> 00:50:12,452 Lie down, friend. 902 00:50:12,453 --> 00:50:14,689 Freedom... equality... 903 00:50:15,732 --> 00:50:17,356 Fraternity... 904 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:26,992 Mariette... Mariette. 905 00:50:28,201 --> 00:50:31,537 Now lie down Oh, my goodness! Charlie! 906 00:50:31,615 --> 00:50:34,678 He will fall! Dropped down! 907 00:50:35,157 --> 00:50:36,306 My God, Charlie! 908 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,183 Charlie! 909 00:50:38,235 --> 00:50:39,384 Freedom! 910 00:50:49,508 --> 00:50:51,099 Charlie! Charlie! 911 00:50:51,105 --> 00:50:52,850 Get back here! 912 00:50:54,863 --> 00:50:56,225 Can't get me... 913 00:51:06,294 --> 00:51:07,570 Got it! 914 00:51:09,892 --> 00:51:11,040 Get him! 915 00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:13,500 I don't want. 916 00:51:13,501 --> 00:51:16,126 Come on Charlie You'll feel better in the morning. 917 00:51:16,127 --> 00:51:17,276 What's the matter? 918 00:51:17,327 --> 00:51:18,398 I don't feel good. 919 00:51:18,399 --> 00:51:20,495 Hold him! 920 00:51:20,496 --> 00:51:22,082 Let's get him back on the pool table. 921 00:51:22,083 --> 00:51:24,285 He'll fall off. Take him to my room. 922 00:51:25,802 --> 00:51:27,410 - Come here Vicky. - Carefully. 923 00:51:27,881 --> 00:51:29,029 Carefully. 924 00:51:38,232 --> 00:51:39,381 Very carefully. 925 00:51:40,350 --> 00:51:41,867 Take it easy 926 00:51:43,227 --> 00:51:44,526 Grant, get out of the way. 927 00:51:46,547 --> 00:51:48,782 And now go away children. Leave him alone. 928 00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:51,845 - Mariette - Here I'm Charlie. 929 00:51:52,021 --> 00:51:54,232 I am here. You'll be all right. 930 00:51:54,233 --> 00:51:56,229 Now sleep tight 931 00:51:56,230 --> 00:51:58,658 That he will, Come on, give me a hand, Ma. We'll get the rest of his clothes off 932 00:51:58,659 --> 00:52:01,438 Now, Pop, wait a minute. Just a minute 933 00:52:04,013 --> 00:52:05,173 Let me get my nightgown. 934 00:52:05,174 --> 00:52:06,962 - Goodnight. - Good night darling 935 00:52:31,793 --> 00:52:33,940 Mr.Kelsey? Mr.Wendell Burnshaw calling. 936 00:52:35,151 --> 00:52:36,318 Here you are, sir. 937 00:52:38,643 --> 00:52:44,901 Kelsey,what's your bird dog doing over there? Building a nest? 938 00:52:44,902 --> 00:52:46,103 How do you know he's over there? 939 00:52:46,104 --> 00:52:48,851 How I know he's there? I can see his car from my window. 940 00:52:48,900 --> 00:52:51,103 Good, that means he's back on the job. 941 00:52:51,261 --> 00:52:53,691 Back on the job? His car's been ther all night. 942 00:52:53,692 --> 00:52:56,035 There must be some explanation? 943 00:52:56,036 --> 00:52:58,174 That's what I calling for, Mr. Kelsey. 944 00:52:58,175 --> 00:53:00,313 Or should I call my friend in Washington? 945 00:53:00,334 --> 00:53:03,741 No, no, no. Don't do that. Lorenzo might have been working all night. 946 00:53:05,451 --> 00:53:07,380 I beg your pardon? What was that? 947 00:53:07,689 --> 00:53:11,611 My pig. A perfectly normal pig, till the Larkins got hold of him. 948 00:53:11,885 --> 00:53:13,364 Now he's a nervous wreck. 949 00:53:13,404 --> 00:53:14,822 What have they done to him? 950 00:53:14,884 --> 00:53:17,632 Corrupted him, turned him into a howling sex maniac. 951 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,488 If they can do it to my pig, they can it to your bird dog. 952 00:53:20,559 --> 00:53:22,380 You have no fear about Lorenzo. 953 00:53:22,439 --> 00:53:24,946 Once he gets hold of tax-dodger He never lets go. 954 00:54:24,913 --> 00:54:28,280 Good morning, How's my loving little revenuer? 955 00:54:29,631 --> 00:54:31,451 Oh, look kind of peaked. 956 00:54:32,708 --> 00:54:34,605 Well that's the price you pay, huh? 957 00:54:34,745 --> 00:54:36,644 Guess you're out of condition, huh? 958 00:54:39,344 --> 00:54:40,707 I'm only kidding. 959 00:54:41,901 --> 00:54:43,373 You were wonderful... 960 00:54:43,980 --> 00:54:45,376 Just wondeful. 961 00:54:47,937 --> 00:54:51,288 You'd better get some more sleep. after last night, you need it. 962 00:54:56,770 --> 00:54:58,369 I'll keep your breakfast warm. 963 00:55:03,885 --> 00:55:05,085 What have I done? 964 00:55:14,479 --> 00:55:17,487 Laughing hyena... . 965 00:55:18,795 --> 00:55:19,944 Pool table! 966 00:55:22,511 --> 00:55:26,086 Lorenzo, look at you! Oh, you're in trouble now. 967 00:55:26,471 --> 00:55:29,844 Got to get ot of here 968 00:55:30,107 --> 00:55:31,406 Oh, never again, never! 969 00:55:31,407 --> 00:55:34,733 What have I done? What will they say?... 970 00:55:34,734 --> 00:55:37,461 You're under my skin... Oh, how I hate that song! 971 00:55:37,462 --> 00:55:39,161 This time I did it my boy 972 00:55:41,339 --> 00:55:44,574 This time we did it 973 00:55:48,733 --> 00:55:52,200 Good morning, Charlie! You're wanted on the phone, it's Mr. Kelsey. 974 00:55:54,289 --> 00:55:55,438 Oh, thanks. 975 00:55:57,208 --> 00:55:59,521 How'd he find out so fast? 976 00:56:01,244 --> 00:56:02,445 Oh my boy, my boy! 977 00:56:03,163 --> 00:56:05,011 - Was he awake? - Yeah, he's coming. 978 00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:08,808 Good. Now Grant, you eat breakfast, or you don't get to ride on the truck. 979 00:56:11,478 --> 00:56:12,644 Hello! 980 00:56:18,553 --> 00:56:19,670 Hello! 981 00:56:19,671 --> 00:56:22,049 What in the devil is going down there? 982 00:56:22,071 --> 00:56:23,550 I can't talk to you right now. 983 00:56:24,828 --> 00:56:26,786 Operator, get that number back again. 984 00:56:42,215 --> 00:56:44,950 Well, you had yourself quite a night, Charlie? 985 00:56:45,356 --> 00:56:49,218 Before you say anything, Mr.Larkin I don't know what you put in those drinks 986 00:56:49,219 --> 00:56:51,808 Now I'm not blaming you But nothing ever hit me like that before 987 00:56:51,809 --> 00:56:55,699 Now being drunk is no excuse. I know that But I didn't know what I was doing. 988 00:56:55,700 --> 00:56:59,134 Guess You and I better have a little talk, Charlie. 989 00:56:59,135 --> 00:57:00,720 Yes I more or less expect that... 990 00:57:00,721 --> 00:57:02,758 Now, don't get yourself in an uproar, 991 00:57:02,759 --> 00:57:04,399 What's done is done. Water over the dam 992 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,327 - Right, Ma? - Sure, Pop, happens in the best of families. 993 00:57:07,398 --> 00:57:09,251 No use crying over spilt milk. 994 00:57:09,755 --> 00:57:12,687 Now, now, now, Charlie. Don't act like a tax collector. 995 00:57:12,873 --> 00:57:14,272 Sit down and have breakfast. 996 00:57:14,273 --> 00:57:15,896 Give him some hot coffee, hon. 997 00:57:16,070 --> 00:57:17,219 Answer the phone. 998 00:57:21,090 --> 00:57:23,127 Am I to understand the fact that I... 999 00:57:25,546 --> 00:57:27,061 That doesn't bother you? 1000 00:57:27,743 --> 00:57:30,859 No, bothers you, though you are being a government man, 1001 00:57:30,982 --> 00:57:33,609 I guess you're scared we're gonna spill the beans. 1002 00:57:34,058 --> 00:57:35,176 That's one aspect... 1003 00:57:35,177 --> 00:57:37,804 Ah, go on, relax, sit down and have your breakfast. 1004 00:57:38,296 --> 00:57:40,254 Hey, Charlie, That's Mr. Kelsey again. 1005 00:57:47,451 --> 00:57:48,599 Thanks. 1006 00:57:50,528 --> 00:57:51,676 Hello? 1007 00:57:52,046 --> 00:57:55,739 Lorenzo, don't you ever hang up on me again. 1008 00:57:57,001 --> 00:58:00,040 Now, Burnshaw tells me you spent the night there. Is that true? 1009 00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:01,284 Yes, sir. 1010 00:58:01,679 --> 00:58:04,457 But why? Are they holding you? 1011 00:58:04,597 --> 00:58:06,189 Look, what is going on. 1012 00:58:06,675 --> 00:58:08,394 Did they mousetrap you? 1013 00:58:10,193 --> 00:58:11,851 Hello everybody. Can we come in? 1014 00:58:15,789 --> 00:58:17,542 Pleasure, Sydney, 1015 00:58:17,543 --> 00:58:21,064 especially under the circumstances. 1016 00:58:21,065 --> 00:58:23,303 Yes, when the Reverend told me about it, 1017 00:58:23,304 --> 00:58:25,202 so I decided I better come along, too. 1018 00:58:26,861 --> 00:58:30,168 Look, Lorenzo, I... 1019 00:58:30,169 --> 00:58:32,175 Lorenzo, you still on that phone? I can hear you breathing, answer me 1020 00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:33,415 I can not talk to you now. 1021 00:58:34,536 --> 00:58:36,160 Lorenzo! Lo...Lo... 1022 00:58:42,808 --> 00:58:45,127 Charlie! Come on in here, will you? 1023 00:58:45,128 --> 00:58:47,156 Some friends of mine I want you to meet. 1024 00:58:49,604 --> 00:58:51,553 Charlie, This is the Reverend Osgood. 1025 00:58:51,554 --> 00:58:53,480 - Charlie Charlton. - Much pleasure. 1026 00:58:53,481 --> 00:58:54,929 and this is Chief Guthrie. 1027 00:58:54,930 --> 00:58:56,958 This is the young fella I told you about. 1028 00:58:56,959 --> 00:58:58,738 Ah, so this is the young man... 1029 00:58:58,998 --> 00:59:01,556 I've heard some very unsual things about you. 1030 00:59:01,557 --> 00:59:03,395 Can't believe everything you hear. 1031 00:59:03,396 --> 00:59:06,083 Listen, son, anything Pop Larkin says It's gospel. 1032 00:59:06,193 --> 00:59:09,353 Now wait, there are two sides to this. 1033 00:59:09,354 --> 00:59:11,369 I am not talking responsibility. 1034 00:59:11,370 --> 00:59:12,556 It's just that... 1035 00:59:12,557 --> 00:59:15,387 ...in the first place I didn't want to spend the night here last night. 1036 00:59:15,388 --> 00:59:17,144 They took my motor apart. Don't you deny it. 1037 00:59:17,145 --> 00:59:19,074 Then you fed me that hopped-up booze... 1038 00:59:19,224 --> 00:59:21,534 Ok, I drank too much. I blacked out. 1039 00:59:21,535 --> 00:59:26,428 How I... If I made a mistake, I'm human same as everybody else 1040 00:59:26,429 --> 00:59:29,614 They can't be all that eager to get her... She's an attractive girl... 1041 00:59:29,615 --> 00:59:32,656 After all, I'm not all that What I'm driving at is this... 1042 00:59:33,213 --> 00:59:35,314 I'm from the IRS. 1043 00:59:35,315 --> 00:59:37,808 Mr. Larkin is in trouble about his back taxes. 1044 00:59:37,809 --> 00:59:39,944 - Now you follow me? - No I don't. 1045 00:59:39,945 --> 00:59:42,247 Well, I do. And let me tell you this, Charlie... 1046 00:59:42,248 --> 00:59:44,161 The only reason we put you in my bed, 1047 00:59:44,162 --> 00:59:46,123 because you couldn't hang onto the pool table. 1048 00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:48,083 Mariette! Charlie, you were a little tipsy last night... 1049 00:59:48,084 --> 00:59:49,242 And you ought to stay that way! 1050 00:59:49,243 --> 00:59:51,439 only time you act like a human is when you're drunk! 1051 00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:55,078 How about that, Ma? He thinks he spent the night with... 1052 00:59:55,079 --> 00:59:56,043 Pop! Not in front of the Reverend. 1053 00:59:56,044 --> 00:59:57,445 Sorry, Padre.. 1054 00:59:57,446 --> 01:00:01,112 Mr.Charlton you seem to be laboring under a misconception. 1055 01:00:01,113 --> 01:00:02,661 I came to thank the Larkins, 1056 01:00:02,662 --> 01:00:04,351 for the organ they gave the church. 1057 01:00:04,352 --> 01:00:06,902 Me, too. I play the organ on Sundays. 1058 01:00:06,949 --> 01:00:09,150 And let me tell you something... 1059 01:00:09,666 --> 01:00:11,774 Everybody for miles around thinks... 1060 01:00:11,787 --> 01:00:14,045 the Larkins are the nicest people they know. 1061 01:00:14,184 --> 01:00:15,809 that includes me. 1062 01:00:16,344 --> 01:00:19,352 So maybe you better apologize. Huh, son? 1063 01:00:23,417 --> 01:00:25,654 - Please forgive me... - Oh, now, now, Charlie, ... 1064 01:00:25,655 --> 01:00:27,188 it's perfectly natural 1065 01:00:27,189 --> 01:00:29,174 Since I met Ma, the one thing on my mind, 1066 01:00:29,175 --> 01:00:30,723 day and night... 1067 01:00:31,213 --> 01:00:33,523 Poppy! Not in front of the Reverend. 1068 01:00:36,448 --> 01:00:39,379 - I believe I ought to... - Yes, Charlie, why... why don't you? 1069 01:00:43,883 --> 01:00:45,541 Well, Why don't we all sit down? 1070 01:00:45,723 --> 01:00:48,578 Chief, it's a little early, but how about, uh... 1071 01:00:49,199 --> 01:00:50,348 just coffee. 1072 01:00:51,077 --> 01:00:52,198 Coffee? 1073 01:00:52,199 --> 01:00:53,557 I'll have some coffee too. 1074 01:01:01,271 --> 01:01:03,049 If it's all the same to you, I'm busy. 1075 01:01:03,389 --> 01:01:05,319 This will only take a minute. 1076 01:01:06,706 --> 01:01:10,583 I did some foolish thing last night I said some follish things this morning. 1077 01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:12,863 Ok, time's up. 1078 01:01:12,982 --> 01:01:14,802 Now, will you kindly clear out? 1079 01:01:17,980 --> 01:01:21,174 Hey, Sugar. What's the good words? 1080 01:01:21,175 --> 01:01:22,374 What do you want Barney? 1081 01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:26,292 Now, is that any way to talk to a fella comes over here to pay you a friendly visit? 1082 01:01:26,293 --> 01:01:27,931 Oh, take your paws off me! 1083 01:01:27,932 --> 01:01:29,829 I'm in a bad mood. 1084 01:01:30,011 --> 01:01:31,634 I thouht I told you to clear out. 1085 01:01:31,649 --> 01:01:33,199 I'm not finished yet. 1086 01:01:33,728 --> 01:01:36,253 Maybe he don't hear so good. Shall I remove him? 1087 01:01:36,254 --> 01:01:39,762 Barney, you just remove yourself. Don't bother to think about it. Just go on. 1088 01:01:39,763 --> 01:01:40,680 What's the matter with you today? 1089 01:01:40,681 --> 01:01:43,340 Now you heard the lady? Get out of here! 1090 01:01:44,519 --> 01:01:46,449 Man, you a real comical type! 1091 01:01:46,518 --> 01:01:48,034 Go on, Barney! 1092 01:01:48,757 --> 01:01:50,867 See you later, Sugar. 1093 01:01:56,951 --> 01:01:58,314 I made a mistake. 1094 01:01:58,350 --> 01:01:59,822 Excuse me. 1095 01:01:59,910 --> 01:02:02,035 I admit that I was overly suspicious. 1096 01:02:02,067 --> 01:02:03,342 Suspicious? 1097 01:02:03,546 --> 01:02:05,264 You were born suspicious. 1098 01:02:05,265 --> 01:02:09,330 I'll bet you made the doctor show his license befor you let him slap your behind. 1099 01:02:13,060 --> 01:02:17,331 You don't trust a living soul. You don't even trust yourself. 1100 01:02:18,655 --> 01:02:21,223 You thought you came and got in my bed last night, 1101 01:02:21,253 --> 01:02:24,718 And that is not enough You thought I'd let you... 1102 01:02:25,691 --> 01:02:27,816 There's some truth in what you said. 1103 01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:29,721 Some truth? 1104 01:02:30,608 --> 01:02:32,809 where you concerned, I don't trust myself. 1105 01:02:47,515 --> 01:02:50,099 That's just her way of letting off steam. 1106 01:02:53,830 --> 01:02:56,702 She's let off quite a bit already. 1107 01:03:00,084 --> 01:03:04,280 Let me tell you a little secret about women. 1108 01:03:04,281 --> 01:03:06,580 Now, the reason they are called the opposite sex... 1109 01:03:06,581 --> 01:03:08,659 is because when they start to holler "I hate you"... 1110 01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:12,889 you can bet money, marbles, or chalk, that they mean just the opposite. 1111 01:03:13,536 --> 01:03:15,288 Food for thought, chum. 1112 01:03:15,289 --> 01:03:19,251 Well, the thought uppermost in my mind now is settling this tax matter. 1113 01:03:19,252 --> 01:03:20,291 Absotively. 1114 01:03:20,292 --> 01:03:22,759 I have a pretty fair idea what you're worth today 1115 01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:25,846 Now, if I could find out the value of this place when you inherited it,... 1116 01:03:25,847 --> 01:03:28,805 I could subtract that value from what you're worth today and proprate the... 1117 01:03:28,806 --> 01:03:31,064 Whoa, whoa, now.. say that again, will you? 1118 01:03:31,065 --> 01:03:34,289 Do you have any records of what you inherited? A probate file? 1119 01:03:34,290 --> 01:03:38,718 Well, let me see, now... There's a lot of old papers in the back room. Help yourselves. 1120 01:03:38,719 --> 01:03:41,395 I got to go say goodbye the Reverend and the Chief. 1121 01:03:41,396 --> 01:03:46,152 Uh, The reverend was very mighty grateful for that elctric organ, 1122 01:03:46,153 --> 01:03:48,736 and I imagine he'd do us a favor anytime we ask. 1123 01:03:49,071 --> 01:03:50,587 Think it over, Charlie. 1124 01:04:08,018 --> 01:04:11,250 What do you mean you don't trust yourselve? 1125 01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:16,840 - Hmm? - That's what you said. 1126 01:04:17,530 --> 01:04:19,460 Just wonder what you meant. 1127 01:04:30,842 --> 01:04:32,389 Oh, I'd rather not say. 1128 01:04:33,519 --> 01:04:36,087 Don't want to be accused of conflict of interest. 1129 01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,314 What are you doing? 1130 01:04:41,554 --> 01:04:43,603 Looking for a probate file. 1131 01:04:48,548 --> 01:04:50,784 Wasn't very nice to my friend Barney. 1132 01:04:51,627 --> 01:04:53,371 Why? 1133 01:04:54,104 --> 01:04:56,415 Because I took an instant dislike to him. 1134 01:05:02,020 --> 01:05:03,796 Well, I am like that, too. 1135 01:05:05,296 --> 01:05:07,455 One look and I can size a person up. 1136 01:05:11,212 --> 01:05:12,652 Take this fella I met. 1137 01:05:13,211 --> 01:05:16,839 Right off I could tell what was the matter with him. 1138 01:05:17,568 --> 01:05:22,806 He's a nice looking fella,... smart, ambitious. 1139 01:05:22,807 --> 01:05:26,441 But he's so serious. Work, work, work all day long. 1140 01:05:26,442 --> 01:05:28,162 what he needs, I said, is someone to show him... 1141 01:05:28,163 --> 01:05:30,719 how to get some fun out of life,... 1142 01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:32,303 And I said, I'm just the one to do it. 1143 01:05:45,347 --> 01:05:50,007 You know... you know what's wrong with you? 1144 01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:52,683 You are inhibited. 1145 01:06:01,697 --> 01:06:06,425 Would you prefer the homespun type? Honey lamb, honey sugar, sweetie pie 1146 01:06:06,573 --> 01:06:09,275 honey lamb, sugar plum! I'll... 1147 01:06:09,971 --> 01:06:11,334 Ha ha, no. 1148 01:06:26,878 --> 01:06:28,623 Maybe a career girl? Mm-hmm? 1149 01:06:29,756 --> 01:06:31,552 May I take a letter, Senator? 1150 01:06:31,553 --> 01:06:34,070 Any letter you'd care to dictate to me, from A to Z, you take it, 1151 01:06:34,071 --> 01:06:35,970 And I'll just run it down your throat. 1152 01:06:36,552 --> 01:06:39,177 Oh, now cut out the monkey business... 1153 01:06:39,189 --> 01:06:41,087 and let me get on with my work, please... 1154 01:06:41,348 --> 01:06:43,185 Well, what type do you like? 1155 01:06:43,186 --> 01:06:45,040 The silent and invisible type. 1156 01:06:49,862 --> 01:06:51,010 Invisible! 1157 01:06:54,739 --> 01:06:57,015 Help! 1158 01:07:08,663 --> 01:07:14,404 All right, come on, come on get out of here, you'll suffocate. 1159 01:07:14,405 --> 01:07:16,455 A cool arctic time. And a good night out 1160 01:07:17,722 --> 01:07:19,728 for me to be. 1161 01:07:22,279 --> 01:07:23,954 All right, all right, 1162 01:07:23,955 --> 01:07:25,876 You've had your fun. Now, come on... 1163 01:07:25,877 --> 01:07:27,044 It's snowing. 1164 01:07:27,236 --> 01:07:28,632 I've got so much to do. 1165 01:07:39,239 --> 01:07:45,131 Here's that paper Pop was talking about? Listen, listen! 1166 01:07:45,132 --> 01:07:50,458 "The Federal Government promises to pay to Joshua Larkin. ..", that's Pop's great-grandfather, 1167 01:07:50,459 --> 01:07:54,950 "The sum of $50 each for 30 horses" We never got paid a nickel! 1168 01:07:55,855 --> 01:07:59,193 Hey, look, It is signed by Major Oscar Bolt 2nd Cavalry US Army. 1169 01:07:59,271 --> 01:08:01,987 And it's dated August 4, 1863. Here! 1170 01:08:02,682 --> 01:08:05,447 - So? - So do something about it. 1171 01:08:05,448 --> 01:08:06,597 Do what? 1172 01:08:06,967 --> 01:08:08,887 Get our money. 1173 01:08:08,888 --> 01:08:11,413 Are you out of your mind? An old claim like that? 1174 01:08:11,414 --> 01:08:13,361 - It clearly says here, Charlie... - Now, will you leave me alone... 1175 01:08:13,362 --> 01:08:16,235 and stop acting like an idiot. 1176 01:08:17,239 --> 01:08:19,016 Idiot?! I... 1177 01:08:23,716 --> 01:08:24,865 - Ooh! - Oh... haha! 1178 01:08:28,191 --> 01:08:29,340 Oh, I'm sorry. 1179 01:08:29,351 --> 01:08:31,677 Oh, You're going to be much sorrier. 1180 01:08:31,711 --> 01:08:33,051 Sorry, sorry! 1181 01:08:53,774 --> 01:08:55,247 - Who's an idiot? - I am 1182 01:09:07,564 --> 01:09:08,731 Hiya, Sugar. 1183 01:09:09,603 --> 01:09:11,730 Get out of here, you big lummox! 1184 01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,903 You see how it is? Yesterday I was first in line. 1185 01:09:14,999 --> 01:09:17,601 Today she tells me to get out. 1186 01:09:17,602 --> 01:09:20,194 What do you suppose cause a sudden shift in the wind? 1187 01:09:20,195 --> 01:09:21,393 Barney, don't you go starting anything! 1188 01:09:21,394 --> 01:09:24,119 I'm not starting anything! I'm here to finish it! 1189 01:09:24,311 --> 01:09:25,749 - You get your hands off him ... 1190 01:09:25,750 --> 01:09:28,017 - and leave him alone! - You get out of here! 1191 01:09:32,667 --> 01:09:35,594 Where are you, Charlie? Wait a minute now wait a minute! 1192 01:09:37,023 --> 01:09:38,419 Charlie! Let him go! 1193 01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:40,582 Help!Larkins! 1194 01:09:43,898 --> 01:09:45,566 Let him go, brutes! 1195 01:09:47,174 --> 01:09:48,799 Help me! 1196 01:09:50,403 --> 01:09:52,645 Hang onto him, Hank! 1197 01:10:13,469 --> 01:10:18,153 Here, Grant, take this! You know help yourselve. 1198 01:10:18,154 --> 01:10:19,854 Ma, here. Get busy, come on. 1199 01:10:21,111 --> 01:10:23,172 We're coming, Honey! 1200 01:10:26,549 --> 01:10:27,698 Charlie, watch out!. 1201 01:10:27,785 --> 01:10:28,934 Ok Kids! Let her go! 1202 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:46,683 - Hate to do this to you, Pop! - I have to fix that board. 1203 01:10:56,086 --> 01:10:59,013 - Now, Ma! - Hey Pop, Hit him, Pop! - Get him Mom, slug him! 1204 01:11:26,067 --> 01:11:30,013 - Help! Help! Get him off me! - Sir! Help me! Get me out of here. 1204 01:11:36,067 --> 01:11:37,800 - Not me mom, him! 1205 01:11:38,827 --> 01:11:40,276 Lorenzo! Lorenzo! 1206 01:11:41,103 --> 01:11:43,000 Why are you...? 1207 01:12:04,757 --> 01:12:06,120 Now, Ma! 1208 01:12:12,790 --> 01:12:14,418 - Watch yourselve, Ma! - Get him! I will! - Watch it 1209 01:12:18,427 --> 01:12:19,576 Lorenzo. 1210 01:12:20,858 --> 01:12:22,064 Sir. Kelsey? 1211 01:12:22,065 --> 01:12:25,172 Well! I hope you have a suitable explanation for all of this. 1212 01:12:25,503 --> 01:12:27,705 Excuse me. I present Mr. and Mrs.Larkin. 1213 01:12:28,042 --> 01:12:29,401 Their daughter Mariette. 1214 01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:31,189 These are the twins. 1215 01:12:32,679 --> 01:12:33,828 this is Lee. 1216 01:12:33,916 --> 01:12:35,891 and you met Grant. 1217 01:12:36,236 --> 01:12:42,126 Yes, Lorenzo... I'll have a word with you. 1218 01:12:44,609 --> 01:12:48,990 Forget about my career, they can carve me up like a Christmas turkey 1219 01:12:48,991 --> 01:12:53,367 But forget about that Let's just consider your career. 1220 01:12:53,368 --> 01:12:54,841 Well, If word of this get back to Washington... 1221 01:12:54,842 --> 01:12:58,255 Mr.Kelsey, with you on the job There no need to involve Washington. 1222 01:12:58,337 --> 01:13:01,605 We sent a boy to do a man's work. We made mistake. 1223 01:13:01,606 --> 01:13:02,675 That's all been rectified now. 1224 01:13:02,676 --> 01:13:04,156 How'd you like me to rectify you...... 1225 01:13:04,157 --> 01:13:08,148 Now, now, you watch it. He's being very lenient to you and so am I 1226 01:13:08,149 --> 01:13:10,632 Now, you get into this car and hightail it back to Baltimore. 1227 01:13:10,633 --> 01:13:12,111 I'll settle with brother Larkin. 1228 01:13:12,112 --> 01:13:14,486 No sir, please let me finish this job... 1229 01:13:14,509 --> 01:13:16,591 Get in and get going! 1230 01:13:17,029 --> 01:13:18,883 - I can't. - Why not? 1231 01:13:20,346 --> 01:13:21,740 The motor's gone. 1232 01:13:25,382 --> 01:13:26,754 They stolen your motor? 1233 01:13:26,755 --> 01:13:28,978 No, no, the boys thought it needed fixing 1234 01:13:28,979 --> 01:13:30,537 why didn't you stop them, Mr. Charlton? 1235 01:13:30,538 --> 01:13:31,858 Because I was drunk! 1236 01:13:35,815 --> 01:13:39,069 Take my car, Lorenzo, and hit the road. 1237 01:13:45,328 --> 01:13:46,648 Good hunting, Kelsey. 1238 01:13:58,999 --> 01:14:01,549 You never mention you were sent by Mr. Burnshaw. 1239 01:14:01,837 --> 01:14:04,463 Oh... he only started the inquiry. 1240 01:14:04,474 --> 01:14:06,813 Yeah, you did all the dirty work. 1241 01:14:06,814 --> 01:14:10,707 You know Pop wouldn't cheat the Government. 1242 01:14:10,708 --> 01:14:15,265 Why don't you stay here and help him? Kelsey can ruin me with just two words: "You're fired". 1243 01:14:15,266 --> 01:14:18,512 Two little words, and my whole future goes down the drain. 1244 01:14:18,513 --> 01:14:23,029 - Now tell me the truth... - Ok! Oh! If that's the way to protect your rosy future. 1245 01:14:23,030 --> 01:14:25,539 - Go ahead. Do what you're told - Please listen to me... 1246 01:14:25,540 --> 01:14:29,009 You may be a big man oneday. But you better start growing fast... 1247 01:14:29,056 --> 01:14:31,214 Cause right now you look awful small to me. 1248 01:14:31,456 --> 01:14:33,773 Lorenzo! what is holding you up? 1249 01:14:33,774 --> 01:14:36,477 Don't get excited. He's leaving, by request. 1250 01:14:37,611 --> 01:14:39,928 You know, you'll make a great congressman! 1251 01:14:39,929 --> 01:14:42,784 Don't mind Mariette, I know you did your level best. 1252 01:14:42,966 --> 01:14:44,565 Come back really soon, Charlie. 1253 01:14:44,566 --> 01:14:47,293 If you do, you won't work for the government again. 1254 01:14:47,294 --> 01:14:48,882 Goodbye Charlie! 1255 01:14:48,883 --> 01:14:50,032 Goodbye! 1256 01:14:53,559 --> 01:14:54,708 Now then... 1257 01:14:54,759 --> 01:14:57,190 You lads get that car back together... 1258 01:14:57,437 --> 01:15:01,888 or you'll be a pair of the sorriest juveniles in the good old USA 1259 01:15:04,632 --> 01:15:06,943 Mr. Larkin, you and I are going to the mat. 1260 01:15:07,510 --> 01:15:11,100 And hear this, no more razzmatazz. 1261 01:15:11,189 --> 01:15:12,632 Any funny... 1262 01:15:13,386 --> 01:15:14,902 What do ... Get away! 1263 01:15:17,543 --> 01:15:18,692 Stray dog! 1264 01:15:18,701 --> 01:15:19,850 That's the cumulus. 1265 01:15:20,100 --> 01:15:21,249 Damn animal. 1266 01:15:24,058 --> 01:15:25,884 Look out Mr.Kelsey! 1267 01:15:31,532 --> 01:15:33,310 You sit right down here, Mr.Kelsey. 1268 01:15:34,330 --> 01:15:36,447 Will you hand me my briefcase? 1269 01:15:36,448 --> 01:15:39,327 Here you are Mr. Kelsey, this will oil up the old caboose. 1270 01:15:39,328 --> 01:15:40,405 What is that? 1271 01:15:40,406 --> 01:15:42,004 It's called the laughing hyena. 1272 01:15:42,005 --> 01:15:43,841 Plenty of bite, but leaves smiling. 1273 01:15:43,842 --> 01:15:46,507 Tune my fiddle? Put wind in my sail? 1274 01:15:46,522 --> 01:15:49,004 You bet your bottom! 1275 01:15:49,005 --> 01:15:50,237 Uh, nothing personal. Won't you try it! 1276 01:15:50,238 --> 01:15:52,880 I wouldn't touch it with a pair of fire tongs. 1277 01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:56,633 Nice basin of ice water. Now wouldn't you rather go in the next room and soak.. 1278 01:15:56,634 --> 01:16:00,849 Why don't you turn off the molasses and let's get this show on the road 1279 01:16:01,032 --> 01:16:05,030 Now according to Lorenzo's figures, your total cash assets are $180. 1280 01:16:05,188 --> 01:16:07,251 $183, correct. 1281 01:16:08,266 --> 01:16:12,966 No secret bank account, no money hidden under the mattress... 1282 01:16:12,967 --> 01:16:14,022 buried in the backyard? 1283 01:16:14,023 --> 01:16:15,675 No, sir. No, serrée. 1284 01:16:16,060 --> 01:16:19,811 You see, the way Ma and I figure a man who spends his time hoarding money... 1285 01:16:19,872 --> 01:16:23,288 Well, he's like a dog with large plate full of bones. 1286 01:16:23,334 --> 01:16:26,091 He's so busy snarling and snapping at the other dogs... 1287 01:16:26,092 --> 01:16:27,971 He'll like to starve to death himself. 1288 01:16:27,972 --> 01:16:32,282 Now we enjoy what we have, we eat good, we sleep good and we feel good. 1289 01:16:36,207 --> 01:16:38,587 You sure you won't have one of these, huh? 1290 01:16:38,588 --> 01:16:40,000 I'm positive. 1291 01:16:40,001 --> 01:16:42,648 - $183, hmm? - Correct, yeah. 1292 01:16:44,479 --> 01:16:47,765 How much do you get from the soil bank? 1293 01:16:47,958 --> 01:16:51,760 Soil? Soil bank? 1294 01:16:51,876 --> 01:16:54,667 The only bank arround here is the bank of Midelehaven. 1295 01:16:54,668 --> 01:16:56,995 No, no, no, I don't mean that kind of bank. 1296 01:16:57,190 --> 01:17:00,026 There's a bank that pays with just ordinary dirt? 1297 01:17:00,269 --> 01:17:01,418 Look... 1298 01:17:02,108 --> 01:17:04,066 Let's say there's a surplus in barley... 1299 01:17:04,585 --> 01:17:06,824 - You understand surplus? - Yeah, too much. 1300 01:17:06,825 --> 01:17:11,460 Too much, yes. Well, then, naturally, the government doesn't want any more barley, right? 1301 01:17:11,461 --> 01:17:13,140 Right. 1302 01:17:13,146 --> 01:17:14,657 So you say to the government, 1303 01:17:14,658 --> 01:17:17,259 "I am go to plant 20 acres of barley." 1304 01:17:17,260 --> 01:17:19,773 - No, I never said that. - Why would I want to plant barley...? 1305 01:17:19,774 --> 01:17:24,329 Don't you understand? The government pays you... 1306 01:17:24,330 --> 01:17:25,669 not to plant barley, in cash! 1307 01:17:25,670 --> 01:17:27,448 You mean there's a bank that pays you... 1308 01:17:27,449 --> 01:17:29,117 not to plant something? 1309 01:17:29,118 --> 01:17:30,217 Cash! 1310 01:17:30,218 --> 01:17:33,223 Hmm! that's the crookedest thing I've ever heard of. 1311 01:17:33,224 --> 01:17:35,283 That's cheating. Shame on you. 1312 01:17:35,284 --> 01:17:37,618 Wouldn't catch Charlie telling us to cheat the government. 1313 01:17:37,619 --> 01:17:39,600 Straight as a string Charlie is. 1314 01:17:39,601 --> 01:17:42,283 Ok, folks. The quiz show is over. 1315 01:17:42,284 --> 01:17:46,028 we'll just start with Charlton's figures. Now I'll figure out what you owe. 1316 01:17:46,029 --> 01:17:48,034 - That's good enough for us, huh, Ma? - You bet. 1317 01:17:48,035 --> 01:17:50,312 I trust Charlie's figures from here to Hackensack. 1318 01:17:50,313 --> 01:17:54,010 I will do my utmost to justify your faith. 1319 01:17:54,104 --> 01:17:56,362 Soil Bank? That's the silliest thing I ever... 1320 01:17:57,149 --> 01:17:58,508 Aw, don't pay any... I don't...! 1321 01:18:01,265 --> 01:18:02,663 How's she sound, Grant? 1322 01:18:02,664 --> 01:18:04,379 Perfect, just perfect. 1323 01:18:11,257 --> 01:18:12,406 Mariette! 1324 01:18:14,537 --> 01:18:16,453 Oh... going to sell some flowers, hmm? 1325 01:18:16,454 --> 01:18:19,083 Not these, we brought these for you. 1326 01:18:20,773 --> 01:18:22,370 Well, what did you do that for? 1327 01:18:22,371 --> 01:18:24,149 We thought they would cheer you up. 1328 01:18:24,150 --> 01:18:26,527 Make you feel a little better about Charlie. 1329 01:18:26,528 --> 01:18:28,326 They always send flowers to people that feel bad. 1330 01:18:28,327 --> 01:18:29,885 And to people who are sick... 1331 01:18:29,886 --> 01:18:31,034 Or dead. 1332 01:18:47,433 --> 01:18:49,634 No! Noooo! 1333 01:18:55,548 --> 01:18:57,702 You keep that dog away from me! 1334 01:18:57,817 --> 01:18:59,000 Shoo! get out, go on. 1335 01:18:59,863 --> 01:19:01,991 Shoo! get out, go on. 1336 01:19:05,019 --> 01:19:09,515 I don't know why Mr.Kelsey, but you don't seem to hit it off with the animal kingdom. 1337 01:19:09,516 --> 01:19:11,815 Yes, well, as long as I hit it off with you, Mr.Larkin. I'll be very happy. 1338 01:19:11,816 --> 01:19:13,133 Can I get you a cup of coffee, Mr.Kelsey? 1339 01:19:13,134 --> 01:19:14,053 No thank you. 1340 01:19:14,054 --> 01:19:15,491 Maybe you'd like a beer or something? 1341 01:19:15,492 --> 01:19:17,130 Thank you, no. 1342 01:19:17,131 --> 01:19:19,499 I have already calculated the total of your taxes. 1343 01:19:19,500 --> 01:19:20,549 Good. 1344 01:19:20,550 --> 01:19:23,286 Hope you remember, Pop's a little short of cash. 1345 01:19:23,287 --> 01:19:24,885 Yes, I remember now, let's see... 1346 01:19:25,205 --> 01:19:28,939 20-year back taxes and interest,... 1347 01:19:29,043 --> 01:19:32,390 plus penalties for never having file a return. This can all add up 1348 01:19:32,440 --> 01:19:35,288 However, I've gone very easy on you 1349 01:19:35,346 --> 01:19:36,836 Well, thank you kindly, sir. 1350 01:19:36,837 --> 01:19:39,903 I've managed to hold it down to only $50,000. 1351 01:19:41,915 --> 01:19:43,064 50.000? 1352 01:19:43,234 --> 01:19:44,435 You must be dreaming. 1353 01:19:44,793 --> 01:19:45,941 You are out of mind? 1354 01:19:45,953 --> 01:19:48,435 Where in the world would I round up $50,000? 1355 01:19:48,436 --> 01:19:51,949 Nice little place you've got here. You should have no trouble selling it. 1356 01:19:51,950 --> 01:19:53,112 Hold on a minute. 1357 01:19:53,113 --> 01:19:55,625 As a matter of fact, Mr. Burnshaw tell me he made you a most attractive offer. 1358 01:19:55,626 --> 01:19:57,224 Burnshaw? He'll say anything. 1359 01:19:57,304 --> 01:19:59,434 One thing I won't do is sell this place. 1360 01:19:59,664 --> 01:20:01,331 All right, we'll sell it for you. 1361 01:20:02,101 --> 01:20:04,489 Your sweet little joyride is over, Mr.Larkin. 1362 01:20:04,740 --> 01:20:06,278 Now you start paying your way. 1363 01:20:06,577 --> 01:20:08,832 Pop pays his way! You ask anybody. 1364 01:20:08,833 --> 01:20:12,722 Fellas down on his luck, Pop's right there with a truckload of food! 1365 01:20:12,723 --> 01:20:14,291 He may trade the shirt off your back, 1366 01:20:14,292 --> 01:20:16,530 But if you need a shirt, he'll give you 5 of his own! 1367 01:20:16,531 --> 01:20:19,967 He does more for the human race in a week than you do in a month of Sundays. 1368 01:20:19,968 --> 01:20:21,017 I'll tell you that. 1369 01:20:21,018 --> 01:20:22,285 Quiet down. Look, Mariette. 1370 01:20:22,286 --> 01:20:23,164 Sweetie, I thank you for the kind words, 1371 01:20:23,165 --> 01:20:25,123 But we're in trouble enough when he's happy, 1372 01:20:25,124 --> 01:20:26,527 and you're making him mad. 1373 01:20:26,844 --> 01:20:28,693 that'd be half what I am. Watch out! 1374 01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:31,149 Shame! 1375 01:20:32,839 --> 01:20:34,287 What's he trying to do to Pop? 1376 01:20:34,288 --> 01:20:37,516 They going to take our place away? They can't do it, can they? 1377 01:20:37,517 --> 01:20:38,696 I'll sic the dog on him. 1378 01:20:41,353 --> 01:20:42,712 Hey, Where are you going? 1379 01:20:42,713 --> 01:20:45,050 Ahem. Then, where were we? 1380 01:20:45,051 --> 01:20:46,678 Ah yes, yes... 1381 01:20:46,679 --> 01:20:48,784 There's several ways of going about this. 1382 01:20:48,785 --> 01:20:51,904 If Uncle sells you out, it will be a public auction, sold to the highest bidder. 1383 01:20:51,905 --> 01:20:54,488 Bye-bye, baby, that is it... 1384 01:20:54,743 --> 01:20:58,013 But if you sell it yourself to Mr. Burnshaw, for instance, 1385 01:20:58,381 --> 01:21:00,430 Well, You'll be money ahead. 1386 01:21:01,578 --> 01:21:02,727 Hey 1387 01:21:07,894 --> 01:21:09,061 No, no, no. 1388 01:21:17,448 --> 01:21:20,642 Stop that.., follow that girl! 1389 01:21:21,244 --> 01:21:24,531 That's the government property! That's valuable! Get it? Go! 1390 01:21:41,663 --> 01:21:46,804 Mariette Larkin, You really fixed yourself this time! 1391 01:21:46,805 --> 01:21:47,885 Now get out of that car! 1392 01:21:47,886 --> 01:21:49,963 Chief, let me go.I got to go see the government. 1393 01:21:49,964 --> 01:21:51,922 You are looking at the government right now. Get out! 1394 01:21:51,923 --> 01:21:52,921 Pop's in trouble. 1395 01:21:52,922 --> 01:21:54,064 So are you, get out. 1396 01:21:54,065 --> 01:21:56,998 I got to go raise some money, If I don't, they're going to take our farm. 1397 01:21:56,999 --> 01:21:58,877 Take your farm? Who's going take your farm? 1398 01:21:58,878 --> 01:22:01,314 That tax collector, that's why I got to get the money. 1399 01:22:01,315 --> 01:22:02,555 Chief, Don't stop me. 1400 01:22:02,556 --> 01:22:04,300 He is, is he? Get in that car. 1401 01:22:06,312 --> 01:22:08,245 But you drive slowly. 1402 01:22:08,262 --> 01:22:09,411 Right. 1403 01:23:01,714 --> 01:23:02,913 Come in. 1404 01:23:07,630 --> 01:23:08,779 Hi Charlie. 1405 01:23:11,827 --> 01:23:12,975 Mariette! 1406 01:23:14,000 --> 01:23:17,421 What are... How... This is a miracle! 1407 01:23:17,422 --> 01:23:20,557 Do you believe in ex... ex... you know thought transference? 1408 01:23:20,558 --> 01:23:22,617 Oh, have you any remote idea how I've... the inner conflict, the torment. 1409 01:23:22,618 --> 01:23:25,053 I can't eat or sleep. Look... 1410 01:23:25,057 --> 01:23:27,182 Look, I've even saved hay from the barn. 1411 01:23:27,255 --> 01:23:29,107 What can I get you? 1412 01:23:30,052 --> 01:23:31,950 A drink of water? No, I have a thermos... 1413 01:23:32,372 --> 01:23:35,898 We... no,,, we'll go to the cafeteria. They have every sort of delicious... 1414 01:23:36,768 --> 01:23:37,916 Hello. 1415 01:23:39,486 --> 01:23:40,635 How are you? 1416 01:23:41,406 --> 01:23:45,295 Oh... I'm on top of the world. I never thought I'd see you again. 1417 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:48,549 Here I am. 1418 01:23:48,761 --> 01:23:51,807 - I know. How are you? - Well, I'm terrible. 1419 01:23:53,489 --> 01:23:55,184 Mr. Kelsey is going to take our farm. 1420 01:23:55,185 --> 01:23:57,230 Oh, no. 1421 01:23:57,231 --> 01:24:00,347 Yeah, or make Pop sell it; We owe $50,000! 1422 01:24:00,668 --> 01:24:02,266 Charlie, you've got to help me. 1423 01:24:03,346 --> 01:24:05,406 - Get a lawyer - Yeah? - You'll go to court. 1424 01:24:05,407 --> 01:24:07,033 - Right? - That is the one... 1425 01:24:07,663 --> 01:24:09,381 No that will take months, though. 1426 01:24:09,382 --> 01:24:11,199 Charlie, we need the money! 1427 01:24:11,200 --> 01:24:13,258 When the case is finally decided, you'd lose 1428 01:24:13,259 --> 01:24:15,460 The taxpayer always loses. 1429 01:24:15,658 --> 01:24:18,087 Now just calm down a little and read this. 1430 01:24:18,174 --> 01:24:21,726 Look... 30 horses cost $1,500 and at 10% compound interest... 1431 01:24:21,727 --> 01:24:23,730 That'd be a lot of money, wouldn't it? 1432 01:24:23,731 --> 01:24:24,689 Yes, of course. 1433 01:24:24,690 --> 01:24:27,128 Why don't you call the guy in charge and tell him we have to have it? 1434 01:24:27,129 --> 01:24:30,614 I just can't pick up a phone and call the Inspector General of Claims. 1435 01:24:30,615 --> 01:24:31,923 Well, let's go see him. 1436 01:24:31,924 --> 01:24:33,684 - It isn't far to Washington. - Don't be ridiculous. 1437 01:24:33,685 --> 01:24:35,355 In the first place,... 1438 01:24:35,356 --> 01:24:37,080 even if your claim is valid, which is subject to some doubt, 1439 01:24:37,081 --> 01:24:38,560 you don't start at the top. 1440 01:24:39,720 --> 01:24:42,182 Charlie, you're shrinking again. 1441 01:24:42,478 --> 01:24:45,066 Oh, a claim has got to be processed. 1442 01:24:45,077 --> 01:24:47,405 It has to be checked. It has to be scrutinized 1443 01:24:48,993 --> 01:24:51,500 You're getting smaller and smaller... 1444 01:24:51,989 --> 01:24:54,854 Look, I would be perfectly happy to file your claim, 1445 01:24:54,855 --> 01:24:57,347 But you've got to go through proper channels. 1446 01:24:57,348 --> 01:24:59,436 Talk, talk, talk. All you ever do is talk. 1447 01:24:59,904 --> 01:25:03,491 They're going to take Dad's farm and they're going to break his heart. 1448 01:25:05,301 --> 01:25:06,600 You know perfectly well... 1449 01:25:11,649 --> 01:25:13,734 Hello? 1450 01:25:13,735 --> 01:25:18,092 Lorenzo, Kelsey here. I want you to start foreclosure proceedings immediately against Larkin. 1451 01:25:18,093 --> 01:25:19,572 I've already lower the boom. 1452 01:25:19,612 --> 01:25:21,593 Yes, I know all about it. $50,000. 1453 01:25:21,594 --> 01:25:22,977 Who told you? 1454 01:25:22,978 --> 01:25:24,125 Mariette! 1455 01:25:24,126 --> 01:25:25,176 She is there? 1456 01:25:25,177 --> 01:25:26,926 Just a minute, where are you going? 1457 01:25:26,927 --> 01:25:28,364 I'm going to Washington to get our money. 1458 01:25:28,365 --> 01:25:29,803 Don't! They'll think you're crazy. 1459 01:25:29,804 --> 01:25:32,387 They'll lock you up! Come on, back here! 1460 01:25:32,722 --> 01:25:35,349 If you let her get away, you are out of a job. 1461 01:25:35,441 --> 01:25:40,125 Mr. Kelsey with your imagination, I think you know what you can do with my job.. 1462 01:25:40,356 --> 01:25:41,505 Sir. 1463 01:26:02,301 --> 01:26:04,230 Take her to the FBI! 1464 01:26:07,937 --> 01:26:10,036 - Give her a loyalty check! - Mariette! 1465 01:26:10,037 --> 01:26:13,611 - I've got to see the Inspector General! - Let her go, gentlemen! She didn't know what she was doing! 1466 01:26:13,612 --> 01:26:16,411 - I told you I knew this would happen! - Talk, talk. Can't you ever do anything? 1467 01:26:16,412 --> 01:26:18,436 She is a decent, law-abiding woman! 1468 01:26:18,437 --> 01:26:20,367 Get down! I'll lock them down! Beat it 1469 01:26:20,368 --> 01:26:21,468 Get away! Charlie! 1470 01:26:21,469 --> 01:26:23,923 Now just hold on a moment there, 1471 01:26:23,924 --> 01:26:25,670 I know the laws of land. 1472 01:26:25,671 --> 01:26:28,517 She has a perfect right to present a claim. 1473 01:26:29,113 --> 01:26:31,800 - Help, Charlie! Tell them let me go! - Out of the way 1474 01:26:32,240 --> 01:26:34,807 Are you willing to face a charge of false arrest? 1475 01:26:35,277 --> 01:26:36,920 I'll do you one better, buddy? 1476 01:26:36,921 --> 01:26:38,473 You're under arrest too. Come on. 1477 01:26:38,474 --> 01:26:41,221 You're very rude! You haven't heard the end of this! 1478 01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:46,099 Hold it, hold it! 1479 01:26:46,588 --> 01:26:47,736 It's a false alarm. 1480 01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:00,578 What's the meaning of this? What are you doing in there? 1481 01:27:00,579 --> 01:27:01,658 I am sorry. I apologize. 1482 01:27:01,659 --> 01:27:03,817 No need to apologize, This is a public room, isn't it? 1483 01:27:03,818 --> 01:27:04,867 Let's get out of here. 1484 01:27:04,868 --> 01:27:07,254 No, we're going to do no such thing. You're come with me. 1485 01:27:07,255 --> 01:27:08,703 - What, what? 1486 01:27:08,704 --> 01:27:12,079 - Not here. - See about this. 1487 01:27:12,080 --> 01:27:14,008 The door. The door 1488 01:27:14,009 --> 01:27:17,102 - And I'll tell you one thing...We're going to have some more fire drills around here! 1489 01:27:17,103 --> 01:27:21,391 Yes sir. Did you hear that. Why do they pushed Mr. Bigelow around outside there like nobody 1490 01:27:21,392 --> 01:27:23,760 Who in the world would set off a false alarm? 1491 01:27:23,761 --> 01:27:26,081 Probably that crazy girl who was trying to get in to see Mr.Bigelow. 1492 01:27:26,082 --> 01:27:27,479 We'll get to the bottom of this! 1493 01:27:27,480 --> 01:27:29,157 Gentlemen, Mr. Inspector General. 1494 01:27:29,158 --> 01:27:30,476 What do you want? 1495 01:27:30,477 --> 01:27:31,915 I want you to listen to me, sir. 1496 01:27:31,916 --> 01:27:34,884 In 1863, a Major of the US Cavalry... 1497 01:27:34,885 --> 01:27:37,935 requisitioned 30 horses from a farmer named Joshua Larkin. 1498 01:27:37,936 --> 01:27:39,848 The Major signed a paper. 1499 01:27:40,510 --> 01:27:41,830 Get the security officer! 1500 01:27:41,831 --> 01:27:45,296 Please look at this, sir. promising to pay $50 per each. 1501 01:27:45,587 --> 01:27:48,594 or a total of $1,500 at 10% compounded ... 1502 01:27:49,744 --> 01:27:50,893 There they are. 1503 01:27:51,144 --> 01:27:52,310 Get her! Get her! 1504 01:27:59,377 --> 01:28:01,395 Funny, never figured borrowing a pig ... 1505 01:28:01,396 --> 01:28:03,614 could cause so much trouble. 1506 01:28:04,414 --> 01:28:06,651 Poppy, I'm real worried about Mariette. 1507 01:28:06,652 --> 01:28:08,610 You think we ought to call the police? 1508 01:28:08,753 --> 01:28:10,512 I did that sometime ago, Mrs.Larkin. 1509 01:28:10,513 --> 01:28:12,672 I'm sure she's in good hands by now. 1510 01:28:12,673 --> 01:28:14,336 What do you mean...? 1511 01:28:14,337 --> 01:28:17,203 - Larkin may we have your answer, please? - You want to sell or don't you? 1512 01:28:17,204 --> 01:28:18,803 Of course I don't want to sell! 1513 01:28:18,884 --> 01:28:21,390 Excuse me, I...I'm upset. 1514 01:28:22,682 --> 01:28:26,105 You're a puzzle Mr.B.You got more land than you could ever use... 1515 01:28:26,598 --> 01:28:28,680 still, you got to run me off mine. 1516 01:28:28,748 --> 01:28:30,846 Tell me why Mr.B? 1517 01:28:30,847 --> 01:28:32,533 Let's not go into all that. 1518 01:28:32,534 --> 01:28:34,832 I'm offering twice what your property's worth. 1519 01:28:34,833 --> 01:28:38,187 I advise you to grab it, Mr.Larkin, he is being very generous with you. 1520 01:28:38,188 --> 01:28:40,746 Oh, He's like that! Ask him for the loan of a shotgun! 1521 01:28:40,747 --> 01:28:43,306 without thinking twice, he'll give you both barrels 1522 01:28:43,307 --> 01:28:47,381 Ma, we can't stall any longer Do we or don't we? 1523 01:28:48,502 --> 01:28:52,392 Poppy, what ever you say, it will be all right with us. That's right kids? 1524 01:28:52,779 --> 01:28:53,928 Yeah, Ma, sure. 1525 01:28:56,457 --> 01:28:59,384 Would you show me where to sign? I never done this before. 1526 01:29:00,933 --> 01:29:02,134 Right there. 1527 01:29:09,130 --> 01:29:11,524 Hey, Pop!, there some kind of parade coming. 1528 01:29:11,525 --> 01:29:13,345 Or a funeral, whole lot of people! 1529 01:29:37,147 --> 01:29:39,655 Well.. howdy, everybody. Reverend. Chief. 1530 01:29:40,785 --> 01:29:42,047 Bob, what is all this? 1531 01:29:42,048 --> 01:29:45,340 Well, Sydney, the Reverend here needs a stove for the parish house... 1532 01:29:45,341 --> 01:29:48,089 and I brought purchasing committee along to decide. 1533 01:29:48,380 --> 01:29:50,843 Look like the whole congregation 1534 01:29:51,217 --> 01:29:53,017 Well, take your pick. Help yourself. 1535 01:29:53,018 --> 01:29:54,414 Look at this one! This one's a beauty. 1536 01:29:54,415 --> 01:29:56,373 Reverend that's an old wood-burner! 1537 01:29:56,374 --> 01:29:59,078 Yes, It's exactly what my wife has always wanted. 1538 01:29:59,533 --> 01:30:01,371 I wouldn't take that home. Down here... 1539 01:30:01,810 --> 01:30:04,206 Would $300 be enough? 1540 01:30:04,243 --> 01:30:05,392 What did you say? 1541 01:30:05,449 --> 01:30:06,598 300$. 1542 01:30:07,446 --> 01:30:10,193 He's right, Reverend. Why? This is a collector's item. 1543 01:30:10,283 --> 01:30:12,442 An real antique! how about $400? 1544 01:30:13,522 --> 01:30:14,671 $400? 1545 01:30:14,672 --> 01:30:15,810 Sold. 1546 01:30:15,811 --> 01:30:17,639 Sydney, come here, please... Look, this trailer down here 1547 01:30:17,640 --> 01:30:19,717 I can use it now Will you take $1000 for it? 1548 01:30:19,718 --> 01:30:22,029 Wait a minute I could use that too, $1250. 1549 01:30:22,076 --> 01:30:23,225 $1500 Sydney? 1550 01:30:23,356 --> 01:30:24,574 $2000 and I'll give you... 1551 01:30:24,575 --> 01:30:26,312 - .... - .... 1552 01:30:26,313 --> 01:30:27,752 Come on, I found what I wanted. 1553 01:30:27,753 --> 01:30:29,911 - Now, let's him get away with that, are - Tsk.., tsk,... 1554 01:30:29,912 --> 01:30:31,236 But... what is all this? 1555 01:30:31,237 --> 01:30:33,487 Will you take $2,000 for this? 1556 01:30:33,488 --> 01:30:35,104 What do you want with a fire engine? 1557 01:30:35,105 --> 01:30:36,264 I collect fire engines. 1558 01:30:36,265 --> 01:30:39,083 Well, so do I. I'll give you $3000. 1559 01:30:39,103 --> 01:30:40,252 $ 3.500. 1560 01:30:41,781 --> 01:30:45,127 Ok... ok ... 1561 01:30:46,059 --> 01:30:48,877 Ok, you didn't fool me for a minute 1562 01:30:48,897 --> 01:30:50,335 I know what you're up to. 1563 01:30:50,616 --> 01:30:53,078 And the answer all around is "No" 1564 01:30:53,893 --> 01:30:56,443 We didn't expect to fool you, Sidney. 1565 01:30:58,010 --> 01:31:00,577 Well, we just wanted to render payment to you for... 1566 01:31:00,648 --> 01:31:03,885 Well, for making so many lives so much richer and happier. 1567 01:31:04,965 --> 01:31:08,006 We can afford the money but we can't afford to see you go. 1568 01:31:14,321 --> 01:31:17,515 Well, I'm in the trading business. 1569 01:31:17,516 --> 01:31:21,282 I never took something for nothing in my life and I don't plan to start now 1570 01:31:22,072 --> 01:31:25,374 The Larkin family has lived here for a long time. 1571 01:31:25,375 --> 01:31:28,588 But nothing as nice as this has ever happened to us before 1572 01:31:28,589 --> 01:31:30,944 And likely won't again. 1573 01:31:30,988 --> 01:31:32,136 That right, Ma? 1574 01:31:36,584 --> 01:31:38,466 Ma says "Yes" 1575 01:31:38,941 --> 01:31:42,057 I appreciate all of you coming out here. 1576 01:31:43,579 --> 01:31:48,280 and doing us this honor. 1577 01:31:52,172 --> 01:31:55,947 You're giving us a wonderful memory... to take with us as long as we live... 1578 01:31:56,008 --> 01:31:58,816 We'll remember this day as the proudest moment of our... 1579 01:32:18,753 --> 01:32:20,028 Where have you been? 1580 01:32:20,029 --> 01:32:21,359 Hi! 1581 01:32:21,360 --> 01:32:22,549 Officer, arrest that woman! 1582 01:32:22,550 --> 01:32:23,668 Charlie! 1583 01:32:23,669 --> 01:32:25,937 Lorenzo, what are you doing in that thing? 1584 01:32:26,587 --> 01:32:28,615 I thought I told you to... Mr. Ogelthorpe? 1585 01:32:28,626 --> 01:32:29,775 Mr. Arbuthnot? 1586 01:32:31,263 --> 01:32:33,046 Mr. Bigelow? 1587 01:32:33,143 --> 01:32:36,362 Kelsey, did you send this young man to investigate Larkin? 1588 01:32:36,435 --> 01:32:39,002 This young man?...Well, Sir, as Head of the... Yes, Sir. 1589 01:32:39,017 --> 01:32:41,873 Yes, he fumbled the ball but I took over. 1590 01:32:41,931 --> 01:32:44,418 Now, it's true I only nailed Larkin for 50 grand... 1591 01:32:44,419 --> 01:32:46,356 50,000. Isn't that marvelous? 1592 01:32:46,357 --> 01:32:47,651 Superb. 1593 01:32:47,652 --> 01:32:48,700 Out of this world. 1594 01:32:48,701 --> 01:32:50,250 Well, now, I don't deserve all the credit. 1595 01:32:50,251 --> 01:32:53,042 Mr. Burnshaw here started the ball rolling. 1596 01:32:53,043 --> 01:32:55,044 Yes, I have very close ties to the Treasurer. 1597 01:32:55,045 --> 01:32:56,524 Don't be too sure about that. 1598 01:32:57,005 --> 01:32:59,785 My client every year pays a large... very large tax bill. 1599 01:32:59,844 --> 01:33:02,001 Wait till he sees tax bill for next year. 1600 01:33:02,562 --> 01:33:03,660 Now, please... 1601 01:33:03,661 --> 01:33:06,637 This conscientious young man and this young lady forcibly brought to my attention... 1602 01:33:06,638 --> 01:33:10,976 a 96-year-old claim against the government. 1603 01:33:10,977 --> 01:33:12,312 Charlie deserves all the credit. 1604 01:33:12,313 --> 01:33:14,795 You should have seen him, Pop. He was wonderful! 1605 01:33:14,796 --> 01:33:18,125 In those days, the government paid a much higher interest rate. 1606 01:33:18,126 --> 01:33:21,227 In all those 96 years, the interest apparently has been adding... 1607 01:33:21,228 --> 01:33:23,066 doubling, tripling, multiplying. 1608 01:33:23,467 --> 01:33:25,323 Charlie figured it all out for them. 1609 01:33:25,337 --> 01:33:28,391 Mr.Larkin owes us $50,000, you say? 1610 01:33:28,420 --> 01:33:29,594 Yes sir... 1611 01:33:29,902 --> 01:33:33,589 In the opinion of our legal department, 1612 01:33:33,647 --> 01:33:37,778 we'll owe Mr.Larkin $14,119,500. 1613 01:33:41,614 --> 01:33:45,861 - I have the most marvelous decorator do the whole place over. - Do it over? 1614 01:33:45,862 --> 01:33:51,964 Now, in all fairness, Mr.Bigelow, to justify my course of action... 1615 01:33:51,965 --> 01:33:53,558 I would like to say one thing... 1616 01:33:53,806 --> 01:33:57,483 If it worth 14 million, say it, otherwise shut your face. 1617 01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:00,429 What? 1618 01:34:00,801 --> 01:34:01,949 Pop. 1619 01:34:02,719 --> 01:34:03,994 Here's Charlie. 1620 01:34:04,437 --> 01:34:06,028 Are you serious? 1621 01:34:06,029 --> 01:34:07,204 Of course, he is 1622 01:34:07,205 --> 01:34:10,033 Charlie, it's all your fault, so don't just stand there. 1623 01:34:10,034 --> 01:34:11,353 Get busy and do something! 1624 01:34:11,354 --> 01:34:14,149 - If you say that once more...! - Okay, okay. But get busy 1625 01:34:14,150 --> 01:34:15,426 Where is Mr.Bigelow? 1626 01:34:15,589 --> 01:34:18,502 Excuse me. there you are, Sir. 1627 01:34:18,526 --> 01:34:21,153 Sir, Mr.Larkin says he doesn't want the 14 million. 1628 01:34:21,162 --> 01:34:23,003 I don't think I heard you correctly. 1629 01:34:23,024 --> 01:34:26,795 Yes, you heard him correctly. I don't want your old 14 million. 1630 01:34:26,900 --> 01:34:27,979 You don't want it? 1631 01:34:27,980 --> 01:34:30,008 What would I use it for? 1632 01:34:30,009 --> 01:34:31,895 We got everthing we need We eat good, sleep good, we feel good. 1633 01:34:31,896 --> 01:34:33,713 Who could ask for more than that? 1634 01:34:33,714 --> 01:34:34,827 Besides, I didn't earn it. 1635 01:34:34,828 --> 01:34:37,892 I never yet took anything for nothing. 1636 01:34:37,932 --> 01:34:39,571 so I hope you won't feel hurt but... 1637 01:34:39,572 --> 01:34:42,940 even though I haven't got it yet, please take it back! 1638 01:34:42,941 --> 01:34:44,127 He's drunk? 1639 01:34:44,128 --> 01:34:45,408 He's not drunk, he's crazy. 1640 01:34:45,409 --> 01:34:46,827 I am glad you said that Mr.B, 1641 01:34:46,926 --> 01:34:49,882 cause now I know he's doing the right thing. 1642 01:34:49,883 --> 01:34:52,965 Of course he is! and we'll be very happy to take the money back. 1643 01:34:52,966 --> 01:34:54,560 Ah! One condition! 1644 01:34:54,561 --> 01:34:58,246 Mr.Larkin's money will apply toward his taxes from now on. 1645 01:34:58,340 --> 01:35:00,674 No more bird dogs snooping around here. 1646 01:35:00,675 --> 01:35:01,995 We can't promise that Lorenzo. 1647 01:35:01,996 --> 01:35:04,045 Oh, No! No strings attached... 1648 01:35:04,275 --> 01:35:08,401 - I've told you once, I'll tell you for the last time... - Shut your face! 1649 01:35:08,402 --> 01:35:10,360 You got a deal 1650 01:35:10,361 --> 01:35:11,907 You did it again, Charlie boy! 1651 01:35:11,908 --> 01:35:14,106 I tell you, Ma, He's a prize animal! 1652 01:35:14,107 --> 01:35:16,226 Right off the top branch. 1653 01:35:16,227 --> 01:35:20,725 Now, if it's all right with you I'd like a word with your loud-mouthed daughter. 1654 01:35:20,853 --> 01:35:22,522 Go get her, boy! Skin her alive. 1655 01:35:23,421 --> 01:35:24,610 Come on Ma! Let's go! 1656 01:35:41,408 --> 01:35:45,467 Just as I always say, Ma Do unto others, and they'll do unto you. 1657 01:35:45,578 --> 01:35:47,416 Poppy, not in front of the Reverend. 1658 01:35:54,000 --> 01:35:56,000 I give up! You caught me! 1659 01:35:57,500 --> 01:36:00,500 Turned out to be a pretty nice day after all, huh, Ma? 1660 01:36:00,600 --> 01:36:04,070 The very nicest day we ever had. 1661 01:36:06,000 --> 01:36:10,734 Perfect... Everything just perfect. 1662 01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:30,000 Subtittle editted by Thokidi 129485