Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,880
"Best before 1995."
2
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,320
THEY SING CONGA SONG
3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480
Everything smells weird
in this house!
4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,720
No, I'm sorry,
but we're not stopping.
5
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:18,320
It's a medical emergency, Rachel!
No, no, we're already late.
6
00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:19,920
If you want to go to the shops on
the way,
7
00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,960
then spend less time in the toilet
before we leave.
8
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,240
It's not going to the shops!
I need Imodium! Ugh...!
9
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:29,120
I'm not well! He doesn't smell well,
to be fair. Thank you, Mum!
10
00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,280
No, you really don't.
Hang on, what does that mean?!
11
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,000
Well, you've got that...
SHE SNIFFS
12
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,040
..poorly dog smell.
THEY LAUGH
13
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,400
It's not funny, Sam. I'm febrile.
You're what? I have a fever.
14
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,720
I'm freezing! Hence the hot-bot.
15
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,680
Oh, my God! Please, can we stop on
the high street, Rache?
16
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,320
No! Oh...! Oh, I actually want to
pick up some food, as well. No!
17
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,720
No, there's no time!
18
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,440
Amy, how far is this church?
19
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,600
Still can't find it.
What's it called again, Granny?
20
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,480
St Ivel's. It's the big one
near the Esso garage. OK.
21
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,000
Saint Ivel's? What?
Saint Ivel makes cream, Mum!
22
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,400
Oh, does he?
Well, the company does, yeah.
23
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,200
Surely Saint Ivel isn't
a real saint! Ugh...
24
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,080
I'll be staggered if he is.
Well, who am I thinking about, then?
25
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,440
Saint Michael, maybe? OK...
No, that's Marks & Spencer!
26
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,640
Which Esso garage? Saint Nigel?
Oh, my God!
27
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,600
AS if there's a Saint Nigel!
Which Esso garage, Sue?
28
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,440
The one with the pumps
and the big lorries, sometimes.
29
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,280
Ridiculous.
30
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,480
Ridiculous description, Mum! Oh, OK,
31
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,280
I think I've found a Saint Michael's
by an Esso garage. Fantastic.
32
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,480
It's just left up here, Mum.
33
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,400
Oh, can we go via a chemist, Amy?
34
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,960
No! The service starts
in 15 minutes!
35
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:31,040
Oh, it is near. It's really near
the high street, actually. Huh?!
36
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,120
No! I'll just nip in! Or do you want
me to get diarrhoea during
37
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,400
the christening?! God, you'd have
to go in the font! Exactly!
38
00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,360
No, I wouldn't go in the font!
That's ridiculous!
39
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,000
I'd just do it in my trousers!
40
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,440
Not in the toilets?
Or the toilets, yeah, but even so,
41
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,400
it would be very disruptive
at the service.
42
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,000
Please!
43
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,160
Doesn't she look slamming?
Uh, just extraordinary, actually.
44
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,040
You'd never know she'd
just had a baby, would you, Paul?
45
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,720
I know. Huh? Wow.
Oh, yeah, no, phwoar.
46
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,640
"Phwoar"?! "Phwoar"?! Hmm? What?
47
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,000
I mean, wow. Wow.
I meant to say wow. Yeah.
48
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,200
I wasn't concentrating.
You look amazing. Right.
49
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,640
And is this all from yoga?
No, yoga's wank. Yeah.
50
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,960
This is all down to Katie, my PT.
Who?
51
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,120
Unusual surname. So, Dean's new
girlfriend, Katie,
52
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,400
is a personal trainer. Oh, OK. Wow!
53
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,040
Dean's got a...?! Yeah.
54
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,360
Wow! I know. Yeah.
55
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,720
You should totally try her, Rache.
56
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:25,040
I swear down, she has worked wonders
on my pelvic floor,
57
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,480
ain't she, babe? Just a bit! She
could strangle a cat down there.
58
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,360
I can.
59
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,720
Wow. Well done.
60
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,280
Thank you. Meow! Yeah.
No, maybe I should, you know,
61
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,560
I mean, I have been feeling
a bit stiff recently.
62
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,320
Yeah. Yeah, you're just getting old,
love. Rude! You know,
63
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,920
that happens... Oh! Oh, hell!
64
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,640
Oh! What...? What happened?
65
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:46,080
I've split the neck on my hot-bot,
trying to pull the stopper out!
66
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,800
Uh...Oh, no!
Dang! "Dang"?! Yeah, dang!
67
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,640
I shall have to replace it now.
68
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:54,080
I love this hot-bot!Please,
don't call it a hot-bot. No.
69
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:55,920
Maybe it's a sign. A sign of what?
70
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:59,160
To get an electric blanket.
No, no. No way, Jose. No way. Why?
71
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:03,120
Because that's what elderly people
do, like, complain in restaurants
72
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,960
and like Michael Ball and...
73
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,600
You love Michael Ball.
74
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,960
Mm... We'll be picking
our cemetery plots next!
75
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,960
Well, no, we'll just go in the same
one, save a bit of money. No!
76
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,560
I don't want to think about it!
You see, this is why I'm stiff.
77
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,120
Because you
and your hot-bot force me to...
78
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,480
Oh, God! ..live... I can't get up,
actually. I'll help you.
79
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,880
Oh, thank you.
..live like a pensioner.
80
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,080
You OK?
I can fix your hot-bot, Paul.
81
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,960
Really, Mum? Yeah. Can you? I've got
a roll of duct tape in my bag. Look.
82
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,040
Why have you got duck tape, Sue?
DUCT tape!
83
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,680
Well, in case I need to, you know...
Kidnap someone?
84
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,880
..splinters, fix a brolly.
Just general taping.
85
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,840
And I've got a torch pen.
86
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,960
Is duck tape
waterproofing? DUCT tape!
87
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,960
Don't know.
OF course it is.
88
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,240
That's why it's called DUCK tape.
Ah!
89
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,040
It's not called duck tape!
90
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,640
It's not... Yeah, it is.
It's called DUCT tape.
91
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,680
You have to pronounce both of
the Ts.
92
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,400
DUCK tape... Right.
..is a brand name.
93
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,320
As fascinating as this is,
94
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,280
I have got to go and meet Katie.
95
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,400
So we're looking after Atlas again,
aren't we? Yeah. I am, yeah.
96
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:06,280
I want to get as much of him as
I can before my big trip.
97
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,160
Oh, well, actually, Paolo,
on the Atlas front,
98
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,520
we did want to ask
if you'd be interested
99
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,920
in being one of the godfathers
at the christening.
100
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,920
Oh! Really?! Yeah.
Yeah, well, Rache is godmother.
101
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Oh... Oh, my godfathers!
LAUGHTER
102
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,320
I've never been asked to be
a godfather before!
103
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,520
Oh, well, this is wondrous news!
Wondrous! All right...
104
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,240
I promise I won't let you down,
guys. OK.
105
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,720
Or you, guy! Bit weird.
106
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,720
That is a Godfather guarantee.
107
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,040
I should have...I should have
to work on my Godfather impression.
108
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,880
HE GRUNTS, DOORBELL RINGS
Doorbell! Sh!
109
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,320
Oh, for God... You're going to wake
Atlas up! I'll go.
110
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,080
Why ain't you got any keys?
Why haven't you got any friends?
111
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,600
OK. Nice to see you, too.
Hi, Graham.
112
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,400
It's G, not Graham.
OK, cool.
113
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,400
ITALIAN-Don't take
the piss out of my pizza,
114
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,080
you dirty rat! Eh?
115
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,480
What are you doing?
Huh? Oh, nothing.
116
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,160
Hi, Graham. Hi. G. It's G now.
Hello. Hi.
117
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,760
Yes, sorry. He was just doing
a Marlon Brando impression from
118
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,560
The Godfather. It doesn't...
It doesn't matter.
119
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,200
"Don't take the piss out of my
pizza"? That's not in the film.
120
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,920
Well, that's sort of it, isn't it?
Mm... You know?
121
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,520
Um... No. Sorry, Graham, is that...?
122
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,160
That's not a guitar in there,
is there? Oh! Wow!
123
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,560
Detective Jessop has done it again!
124
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,920
G, yeah. Why? Well, just because
the baby's asleep over there.
125
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,120
You can't shred your axe in here,
mate. We want to rehearse.
126
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,320
My keyboard's upstairs. OK.
Why else would I come over?
127
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,080
To use the Wi-Fi?
To get your washing done?
128
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,680
To have a bath? Oh, you find quite
a few reasons, Amy. Yeah.
129
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,960
Why can't you just get your keyboard
and take it back to your flat?
130
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,280
Because it's heavy. Oh.
And Maya's...
131
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:39,080
Well, we're trying to give each
other space while she packs up.
132
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,240
Aw! Yeah. So, anyway,
we really need to practise.
133
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,880
Aw, are you that bad, are you?
We... Thanks.
134
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,120
We've got Bedford Battle of
the Bands next month. Whoa!
135
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,200
BBOTB?! No way! Is that still
going? Yeah, and we're playing
136
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,880
the Lamb and Flag next week.
Oh, I know! I can't wait!
137
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:59,840
You're coming? Yeah.
I am a good luck charm, G.
138
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:03,080
I saw the Beatles
when they were still tiny.
139
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,880
And look how well they did.
140
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,760
Very, very well.
141
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,600
Did you? I didn't know that.
142
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,440
Yeah, in 1961. I was only 15.
143
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,160
I gave George Harrison a cigarette.
144
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,160
Ah!
LAUGHTER
145
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,880
George Harrison actually died
of lung cancer, so...
146
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,680
Yeah, but that wasn't Sue's fault,
was it?
147
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,120
No. You didn't give him
his first cigarette, did you?
148
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,080
LAUGHTER
149
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,840
Or did you?
150
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,920
I don't know.
151
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,520
I mean, he didn't have any of his
own, or a lighter,
152
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,520
so I suppose it's possible.
153
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,000
Oh...
154
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,880
Oh, my God.
You killed George. Oh, God.
155
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,120
I mean,
I'm sure that's not strictly true,
156
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,840
Graham...G, you know,
legally speaking... Can't prove it.
157
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,200
No. He must have smoked before that.
He must have. Yeah!
158
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,280
That's all anyone did in those days.
159
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,440
Oh, babe, babe!
It's on Sunday the 14th. Right.
160
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,840
So we can go to BBOTB after the
christening do at the George,
161
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,800
make a night of it.
PAUL MIMICS BASSLINE
162
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,880
Not if you do that.
What was that?
163
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:05,840
Would Atlas like that, or...?
164
00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,200
He might, actually.
Would he? OK.
165
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,240
He really likes white noise.
166
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,040
Yeah. OK, well, that's not actually
what we play, but...
167
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,680
We've got BBOTB. I haven't been
there for about 15 years.
168
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,240
I cannot wait to go back.
169
00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:19,560
Just when you think
you've left the Mafia for good...
170
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,480
Doing it again!
..they ask you back to the Mafia.
171
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,120
I mean, that's not even close,
Dad.
172
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,480
Well, it's sort of general gist,
isn't it? Well...
173
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,240
Hang on, Paul,
you have been christened, right?
174
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,560
Because to be a godfather,
you have to have been christened.
175
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,600
Uh, I don't know. You had me
christened, didn't you, Mum?
176
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,560
Uh, hang on, let me think.
177
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,840
Uh, we definitely had you
circumcised. Oh, my God!
178
00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:41,760
Oh, well, I'm aware of that.
Thank you!
179
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,640
Thank you for telling
Cherry and G that!
180
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,000
I don't care.
No, but christened, I think...
181
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,480
No. Really?! Why?
182
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,840
Because I don't believe in God.
183
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,320
But you do believe in ghosts,
though, don't you, Sue?
184
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,560
Well, that's different.
185
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,640
Ghosts and angels I've
got no problem with. Mm.
186
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,120
So you believe in angels,
but you don't believe in God?
187
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,800
Well, who are they working for,
then?!
188
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,720
Well, no-one. They're freelance.
189
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,520
I'm sorry, Paul, but
Father Damian is well strict
190
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,960
about this stuff, so...
191
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,480
I mean, can't you just tell
Father Damian
192
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,840
that I'm christened anyway?
193
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,280
Well, no, because
Sue says you haven't been, so...
194
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:23,640
Yeah, but she can...
You know. What?
195
00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,040
Lie.
CHERRY GASPS
196
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,200
- No, no, I'm not doing that!
- No!
197
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,400
Well, why not?!
No-one will know!
198
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,440
God will! You don't believe in God!
199
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,400
Exactly! So I'm already
in his bad books, aren't I? Ugh...!
200
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,080
I've got a feeling that Dean hasn't
been christened either. No.
201
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,240
Ah, well, he's out an'all, then.
Oh! Oh, really? Yeah.
202
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,120
- Just get christened now,
as an adult.- What?!
203
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,160
Well... What, you can do that?!
204
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,640
Yeah, I mean, it's a lot of faff
when you're old, like,
205
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,040
it's like the chicken pox, you know
what I mean? You want to get it when
206
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,680
you're a kid. It just depends on how
much you want to be a godfather,
207
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,480
really. Big, a big amount.
Big amount? Please.
208
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,840
You see? There's nowhere to park!
It's all double yellow! Oh...!
209
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,680
Just bang on your hazards and park
where you like, Rachel.
210
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:08,040
That's what I do.
Yes, well, you shouldn't, Sue!
211
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,800
I hate it when people do that!
212
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,520
Oh, not the multistorey, Rachel!
213
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,000
There's no time!
Yes, it will work out quicker.
214
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:18,160
Go, go.
PAUL GROANS
215
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,160
You'll have to get out, Mum. OK.
216
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,520
Has anyone got a pen or something?
Oh, yes, I have. Oh, great, Sue.
217
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,640
Come on, come on. Go, go, go.
218
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,320
Just get out of the car!
No, I don't need to!
219
00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,640
It won't work, Mum.
220
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,920
SHE GRUNTS
221
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,960
Ah! Oh, well done, Mum! OK, quickly,
quickly, quickly, please, Rache!
222
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,560
Thank you. There you go.
How are you going to get the ticket?
223
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,600
OK, I'll just get out of the car.
224
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,080
Right.
225
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,120
Oh! Argh!
226
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:47,320
Are you all right?
Whew! Got it. Let's go!
227
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,840
PAUL GASPS
228
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,520
Just hold it in, Paul.
Yes, thank you, Mum! Great advice!
229
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,240
Are you all right, Rachel? No!
230
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,960
I think I must have twisted my knee
when reaching for the ticket. Ow!
231
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,760
Oh, gosh. Sorry.
232
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,960
Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi.
233
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:07,560
Can we have some Imodium... Please!
..and a knee support, please?
234
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,640
As quickly as possible. Thank you.
235
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,680
Uh, is that for the same problem?
No. No! No.
236
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,080
The Imodium is for him,
and I need the knee support.
237
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,000
I've been over-squatting recently.
Well, we both have.
238
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,280
Chill out!
Uh, we don't sell knee supports.
239
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,600
Oh, well, any kind of strapping,
something to make it less...?
240
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,800
Please, where are your toilets?
241
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,200
Oh, no, toilets are staff only.
242
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,360
Well, this is an emergency!
243
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,080
Yeah. Sorry. Oh, "Sorry," as in
244
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,720
you'd rather me evacuate my bowels
in your chemist's?
245
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,160
Oh, don't do that!
No, don't do that. Well...
246
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,160
Do you sell adult nappies?
No, Mum! No? No!
247
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,360
No, we're not going to do that!
248
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,040
I don't want to. Ignore her.
249
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,920
There's a pub across the road.
250
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:52,400
Oh, look, I hate going to
a pub toilet when I'm not a patron.
251
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,320
Go on, just hold it in.
I want these ones, Mum.
252
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:58,280
Right. Oh...
Sorry.
253
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,600
Wow! Thank you.
She can stay like that for hours.
254
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,520
Really? Easy.
I could sleep like this.
255
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:06,880
Amy, can you turn it down up there,
please?!
256
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,720
Sometimes I think Katie's left
the flat -
257
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,240
she's just squatting behind
the sofa.
258
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,040
Oh, my God. That has happened.
Yeah. Sorry, our daughter's just
259
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,440
rehearsing upstairs.
And that's good for you, is it?
260
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,480
Well, let me put it this way,
Rachel.
261
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,440
Yeah? This is great.
How old do you think I am?
262
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,680
Oh... Oh... Go on.
263
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,640
Uh, 36? Be honest. 34.
264
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,840
Last year, I got ID'd at the cinema
265
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:33,000
going to see Godzilla vs Kong 2.
Mm. Really? That's a 12, isn't it?
266
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,200
Exactly. Someone thought
you were 11? Or under.
267
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,480
The other day I went to get a train
ticket, and the guy in the
268
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,120
booth goes... Oh, I love this one.
269
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,800
.."Why aren't you using your young
person's railcard?"
270
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:46,960
And I was like, "Because I'm 40!"
Oh, so 40, 40.
271
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,400
I know, it's mad, isn't it? Yeah.
272
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,120
Yeah. Wow. What's this? Look at
this. OK. This is a doggy piddle.
273
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:58,120
OK. Yeah. You do this every single
day for 20 minutes,
274
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:01,520
you'll live past 100. OK, wow.
Quite hard to prove that.
275
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,160
Drop a squat for me, Rachel.
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
276
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,440
What, right now? Well, yeah,
if I'm going to take you on,
277
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:09,400
I need to see what I'm dealing with.
OK, yeah. Go on, Rach. OK.
278
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,200
Breathe. No problem.
Yeah, all right. Hup...!
279
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,480
CRACKING
Oh! Oh!
280
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,200
Oh, my God! What was that?
Was that me? That was awful.
281
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,000
Sorry, I do click, don't I?
282
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,640
She clicks. She does click.
283
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,280
She needs a bath. A bit stiff,
a bit stiff, a bit old. Oh, no,
284
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,400
that's OK, that's OK, that's OK.
285
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,560
Thank you. Now just engage
your core for me.
286
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,440
My what? Your core.
287
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,840
Engage. Am I doing it?
No. No, I'm not.
288
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,520
I wasn't... That's all right.
Here's your Horlicks, then, Paul.
289
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,720
Oh, thanks, Mum. Hey, Dean? Ooh!
290
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,880
I think you're punching
above your weight there.
291
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,320
Well, we both are. Yeah, I'm
not sure it works like that.
292
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,480
So, how did you two meet?
293
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,680
Oh, so, I was in Costa Coffee,
294
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,400
Katie was sitting at another table.
295
00:12:57,400 --> 00:13:00,960
Yeah? And when she got up to leave,
I noticed she'd left her phone.
296
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,160
Right. So you returned it to her?
297
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,800
No, I stole it.
298
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,680
Then later, the phone rings,
I answer it,
299
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,480
say I found it, and arranged to
meet up with her.
300
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,880
You know, collect the reward.
OK. Then we got on really well.
301
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,920
It's romantic, innit?
302
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,040
Almost. Yeah.
303
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,840
So, you got a reward?
304
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,320
Well, I mean, Katie's my reward,
really.
305
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,280
But, yeah, £80.
306
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,320
Don't tell her the part
where I stole the phone.
307
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,320
Oh, I won't, I won't. OK.
308
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:28,600
Oh, we're good
for getting dunked on Sunday?
309
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,560
Uh, dunked? Yeah. Baptised.
310
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,520
Father Damian's agreed
to do it for us.
311
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,960
Dunk the doughnuts.
Good to godfather!
312
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,200
Oh, well done, Dean! Ha-ha!
313
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,200
Oh, hi, love. How's it going?
314
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,200
Hi, Granny. Are you looking forward
to your big gig?
315
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,160
Oh, yeah. Nervous but excited.
316
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,120
You were terrific
at the Lamb and Flag.
317
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,720
Thanks. You said, a few times.
318
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,640
Uh, I actually...
319
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:56,360
About that. G worries that, um,
you know, while we're...
320
00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,560
..while we're still quite unknown,
321
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:01,480
don't have many fans - or any fans,
really...
322
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,640
You've got me.
323
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,360
Exactly. That's...
324
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,280
Yeah. He's just wondering
if you could maybe...
325
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,160
I'm sorry to ask you, but.
326
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,640
..not come to our gigs, for a bit,
327
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,040
just until you can blend
in more with other people.
328
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,880
Is G still angry with me
about killing George Harrison?
329
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,520
Oh, no. No, it's not that.
It's the... The dancing.
330
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,640
Um...
331
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,560
It's just the whole thing.
The optics, you know?
332
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,120
Of course. Thanks. Sorry.
333
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,920
Who killed George Harrison, then?
334
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,080
Uh... Oh, me. Maybe.
335
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,800
Unless he started smoking
before 1961. Mm. Interesting.
336
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,000
Oh, my God!
337
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,640
Why? You like the Beatles, do you?
Well, I like Thomas the Tank Engine,
338
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,520
and I know Ringo Starr
does the voice for that, so...
339
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:51,960
So, no, then?
340
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:55,080
RACHEL MOANS
Lower! Go low or go home.
341
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,280
I think this is as low as it goes,
actually, Katie.
342
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,920
OK. Oh!
343
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:06,160
Just head straight for the toilets.
It's all about confidence.
344
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,800
I'm not confident, am I? This is
why I find the modern world
345
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,280
generally horrible!
346
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,600
This is The George This is where the
christening do is happening later.
347
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,240
Is it? Yeah. Oh, good!
348
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,680
Oh!
349
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,280
Oh! It's the ladies.
350
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:26,440
Toilets are for customers only, bro.
I know. I know, I know, I know,
351
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,120
so... And it doesn't matter because
I am a customer. I'm coming to
352
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,360
the post-christening do here later,
so... OK, so you can use the toilet
353
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,760
later, when you are a customer.
OK, well, I can just buy something
354
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,800
now if that's... Sure.
What can I get you, bro?
355
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,920
Um... Do you have Horlicks?
356
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:44,520
Don't get a Horlicks!
A pint of Guinness, please.
357
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,240
A pint?
Why are you getting a pint?
358
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:50,280
Just get a half. It's too late now,
Sam. I've already ordered it.
359
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,920
And, bro, bro, can you please, uh,
360
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,800
refill my hot-bot for me
while I'm in the gents?
361
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,080
My hot water bottle.
Thank you so much. Oh, my God!
362
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:02,840
Sure. And I'll have a shot of vodka.
Really?
363
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:06,520
Yeah. Just need something to, um...
I'm shitting myself a bit.
364
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,160
Aw! Oh!
I've got the Imodium in my bag.
365
00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,760
No, no, I mean I'm nervous about
the gig later.
366
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,360
Oh, I see.
And could I have some ice, please?
367
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,080
Sure. Ice water, or...?
Yes, but without the water.
368
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,760
My knees are very sore.
I've been working out,
369
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,920
I guess, too much. Stretch them out.
Yeah, just stretch them out.
370
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,200
I'll squat. Yeah.
You should be careful, Mum.
371
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,880
Look, don't worry.
You'll be amazing.
372
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,720
I can't wait to see it.
373
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:37,520
You...? Uh... No, I mean Sammy's
film of it afterwards.
374
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,600
No, don't worry, I, uh...
I won't be there.
375
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,080
Where's the ice lady?
I'm here. I was squatting,
376
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,800
which hasn't helped at all!
377
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,560
Can I order some nuggets, please?
378
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,680
Deano! Go on, Dean!
379
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,760
Dunk the hunk. Oh, well done, Dean.
380
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,360
Well done. In that water!
381
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,440
Incredible, son. Look at him go.
382
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,880
I baptise you in the name of
the Father... God.
383
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,760
..the Son... Jesus.
..and the Holy Spirit. No idea.
384
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,320
Oh, my God!
385
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,600
CHEERING, APPLAUSE
386
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,000
Deano! Well done.
387
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,440
Peace be with you. Yeah.
Wet T-shirt competition, anyone?
388
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,080
Oh, it's lovely here, isn't it?
389
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,000
Yeah, it's really nice, Mum.
390
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,840
Just a shame about
the sewage company. Yeah.
391
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,960
Sorry... What do you mean?
392
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,920
Over 4,000 hours,
393
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,920
discharging raw faeces last year,
apparently.
394
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,960
OK, Paul. You ready? Uh...
395
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,640
Yeah. Sorry, Father.
396
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,040
Where was this, Mum?
Wasn't here, was it?
397
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,800
So this is a full-immersion baptism.
398
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,440
The best thing is to hold on to me,
399
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,720
and I'll guide you in and out of
the water.
400
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,320
Well, OK. It can mess you up,
by the way.
401
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,480
You know, the squatting, like,
stuff can suddenly,
402
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,160
like, ping or crunch in your back
and your knees.
403
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,480
So, like, if you want to get some
straps or sport tape now...
404
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,080
Sport tape?
No, I think I'll be OK.
405
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,160
Thank you. You know, I'm naturally
quite a flexible person.
406
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,560
Um, and Katie says my technique
is excellent, so, um...
407
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,200
You got this, Paolo!
Oh, here he goes.
408
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,120
Keep your mouth closed, Paul.
409
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:13,920
I baptise you in the name of
the Father, Son,
410
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,360
and the Holy Spirit.
Yay! Woo!
411
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,760
OK, um... That didn't work. Huh?!
412
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,040
Your hands, they didn't go under.
413
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:22,840
Right. Well, can I just pop it
in now?
414
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,080
We have to do it again. What?
The whole thing?
415
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,080
Full immersion.
Some of it went up my nose!
416
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,440
Oh, my God. I baptise you
in the name of the Father,
417
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,520
Son, and the Holy Spirit.
418
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,000
Oh, hang on! Woo!
419
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,640
Paul! Woo!
You have to keep your hands down!
420
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:40,040
Full immersion, Paul. Got to get...
Full immersion. ..hands in.
421
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,080
Don't thumbs up. We'll have to do it
again.I went under.
422
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,560
I baptise you in the name of
the Father... Come on!
423
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,960
the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Oh, God!
424
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,840
OK. That's not going to work.
Your hands, Paul!
425
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,720
You need to keep your hands in.
426
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,760
All right, just give us a chance,
all right? I'll get there!
427
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,520
I did make it look easy, to be
fair. Let's try again!
428
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,440
Can we tie him up?
429
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,880
Right. Off we go, then.
430
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,760
Hurry up, Paul.
431
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:07,120
Yes, I know. I've just downed
a pint of Guinness, Mum.
432
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:10,080
OK? And Rache is still...
Come on, Rache!
433
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,880
RACHEL GROANS
434
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,400
It was you that made us stop
in the first place!
435
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,480
And it was Sam who ordered food!
436
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,080
Yeah, I can't believe you ordered
nuggets, mate.
437
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,120
What?! My nuggets came quicker
than your nuggets.
438
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:27,480
I wish mine were nuggets.
It was more like...McFlurry. Oh!
439
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,760
You all right, Rachel, love?
440
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:33,200
No, Sue, it's my knees.
They're throbbing!
441
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,000
Oh... I just need something to
sort of hold them.
442
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:41,040
Oh, I know. Amy, come and help.
443
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,440
That's it. Now, how is
that Rachel, love?
444
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,400
Yeah, pretty good, actually,
mobility-wise.
445
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,840
Not sure what it does to my outfit
exactly, but...
446
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,600
You look a bit like RoboCop. Yeah.
447
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,800
You know, it's starting, like,
right now?
448
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,160
Oh, God! Oh!
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. OK.
449
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,040
When's the actual water bit?
Well, can you drag it out?
450
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,480
Can you sing another hymn?
451
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,960
No, no, don't do that!
Do not do that!
452
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:10,120
Robin is suggesting that Katie
and Jelson step in as godparents!
453
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,360
No! No way! We will be there!
No way, Robin! We will be there!
454
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,240
All right? There is
a godparent promise.
455
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,800
A God promise!
456
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,520
Just park closer to the machine,
Mum! I tried, Amy!
457
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,960
I can do it.
Just get out the car, Mum!
458
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,080
I...can...reach. Rachel!
SHE STRAINS
459
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,600
CRACKING, SHE MOANS
Oh!
460
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,760
I heard that. Oh, God! Oh, Rachel!
I think I've done my back!
461
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,760
Oh, Mum! Oh, I've done my back!
462
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:35,760
We're really late, by the way.
463
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,480
Yeah. Come on, Rache!
464
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,760
Quick!
465
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,720
Oh, I hope there's a toilet in here!
Sh!
466
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,680
Hello...
467
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,240
..everyone.
468
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,320
PAUL GROANS
469
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,280
Sorry. Oh... Right.
470
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,400
Sorry.
471
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,480
Oh, babe, have you been shopping
in TK Maxx again?
472
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,120
TK Maxx? No. It's tape.
473
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,680
The service started 20 minutes ago.
20 minutes ago.
474
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,040
Yeah, well, great. I'm very ill.
475
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,640
Hence the hot-bot. Amy, can you sort
us out a couple of chairs, please?
476
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:20,480
Could you please, Amy? Right.
Well, you shouldn't come to
477
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,920
church if you're sick. Well, you
478
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,240
shouldn't dunk people
in faecal water.
479
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,880
I mean, why do it in a river at all?
Dad, chill!
480
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,800
Jesus was baptised
in the River Jordan.
481
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,240
OK, well, I'm guessing
Anglian Water
482
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,760
didn't illegally dump sewage
into that beforehand!
483
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,760
Oh! And that doesn't explain
why she's wrapped in...
484
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,080
Is that duck tape?! Yeah.
485
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,360
It's DUCT tape!
It is. It is duck tape, yes.
486
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,680
That's what I said. No, it's not.
487
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,320
I got a bit carried away.
CHUCKLING
488
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,640
I've been doing too many squats.
Not possible.
489
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,800
It is possible, Katie.
I can't bend my knees.
490
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,720
Sit down, Mum. Thank you.
She looks like the Tin Man.
491
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,440
I said RoboCop.
Anyone silver, basically.
492
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,200
Can I continue with the baptism now?
493
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,840
Yeah, sorry, I've just got to nip to
the loo quickly. Very quickly.
494
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,320
I've just downed a pint of Guinness!
495
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,720
Legend. Nope. No time.
496
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,200
If you can't stand by the font
as a godparent,
497
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,040
I'm afraid you'll have
to sit it out.
498
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,240
OK, fine. Forget it.
Sorry, Katie. Sorry, Jelson.
499
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,360
I'm ready. Righto. Off you go.
500
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,200
Didn't want to do it anyway.
Oh, my God, Mum.
501
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,960
No, it's all right, I just can't...
I'll just tip you out.
502
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,000
Just tip it a bit...
Will your legs hold? Thank you.
503
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,880
Parents and godparents,
504
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,960
is it your wish
for Atlas Bruce to be baptised
505
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,640
in the faith of the church, which
you've all professed with you? Yes.
506
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,000
Big time. It is.
Atlas Bruce... OK.
507
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,320
..I baptise you in the name
of the Father... Come on, Atlas.
508
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,680
..the Son, and the...
Whoa, Dad!
509
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,880
Oh, no... Sh! What's he doing?
510
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,400
Stop it! Hmm? What?
511
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,960
Oh, Paul!
512
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,920
I said we should have
got you some nappies!
513
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:53,160
Oh, gross! Oh, my God!
What? What is it? Dad!
514
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,840
"What is it?" Do you seriously not
even know you're doing it?
515
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,280
It's your strides, mate. Huh?
Your trousers. Oh, my God! Oh!
516
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,360
I'm so sorry. Oh, no!
517
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,080
Oh, it's my hot-bot!
Oh! It's my hot-bot.
518
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,080
It's leaking! It's not urine.
The duct tape has lost its adhesion,
519
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,080
so it's leaking.
I've not wet myself!
520
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,400
Well, you have. No, I haven't.
Not in a bad way.
521
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,640
No. It's fine, I'm fine.
Carry on, please.
522
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,280
Oh, gosh, no. Hang on.
I'm about to...
523
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:21,640
I'm about to buckle, if someone...
Oh! Got you, Rache! OK? Oh, God!
524
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,720
I can't bend, you see. Yeah, I
know. It's wet.
525
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,040
Slide her through the urine... Yeah.
Slide her through Paul's urine.
526
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,520
It's not urine. It's not urine!
527
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,240
It's not urine! OK...
It smells like urine.
528
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,760
Oh, my God! It's not urine!
529
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,560
This isn't a great look at all.
I'm so sorry. Carry on.
530
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,640
I baptise you in
the name of the Father,
531
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,120
Son, and the Holy Spirit.
It's not urine!
532
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,280
Godparents in, then? Just cut out
the trousers. I don't want the
533
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,360
trousers in. I'm trying to, babe.
I'm trying to.
534
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,880
CHATTER, BABY CRIES
Do you just do this all the time?
535
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,360
Everyone say, "Baby!"
536
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:52,120
Sue? Dean thought you might like to
see a photo.
537
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:55,760
Oh, right. Hang on.
It's not a willy one, is it?
538
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,520
Because I wouldn't like to see that.
What?!
539
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,960
No, it's George Harrison,
540
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,880
from 1960, smoking. Look.
541
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,560
Oh! Oh, Jelson!
542
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,720
Oh! Thank the Lord!
Are you all right? Yeah!
543
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,160
I didn't kill George Harrison!
SHE LAUGHS
544
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:16,640
Oh. Um, do you want any more
pitchers of Long Island iced tea?
545
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,040
SCATTERED CHEERS
We... Oh, actually, we...
546
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:23,440
No, no. We can't. Um, sorry,
everyone, just a quick announcement.
547
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:26,520
It is now, ladies and gentlemen,
time to drain your drinks
548
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,400
and your bladders
and head over to Bogey's.
549
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,880
CHEERING
550
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,280
..for Atlas's very first
BBOTB -
551
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,240
Bedford Battle of the Bands -
552
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,360
where our very own
Amy Jessop will be performing!
553
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,360
CHEERING
554
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,000
Ugh...! Oh, God.
555
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,880
Battle of the Bands! OK.
556
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,920
OK. Good luck.
557
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,440
Go on, then. Yeah, thanks.
558
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,400
What are you doing, Mum?
You not coming in?
559
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,680
No, no, I'll wait out here.
560
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,640
It's a bit loud for me.
561
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,440
What, here?
You're not going to be lonely?
562
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,720
Oh, no, no, look, I've got
my Lonely Planet book.
563
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,880
OK. All right. See you in a bit.
564
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,200
Go get 'em, Amy!
565
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,640
You ready? Yeah.
566
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,400
Pretty good, yeah?
You don't like it?
567
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,680
Give it up for, um, Cold Sick.
568
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,080
Sickos! Yeah, Cold Sick!
569
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,680
Decent, lads, decent!
570
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,280
Next up, we have The G Hypothesis.
571
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:34,040
CHEERING
572
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:35,280
Good luck!
573
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,280
What? How come you're here?
Well, I'm not dead, Sam!
574
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,880
I'm just not going out with Amy
anymore. Oh, yeah. Of course, sorry.
575
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,040
And I put up with
a lot of terrible rehearsals,
576
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:47,400
so I'd like to see the end product.
And, you know, I missed you guys,
577
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,400
so... Nice. Sorry.
578
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,880
My God. I mean, look at that. Yeah.
579
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,880
I cannot believe she's
still squatting. Mm.
580
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,720
You know, if that's what it takes to
stay looking young,
581
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,840
then you can shove it up your core.
582
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,480
Yeah, look, I'm sorry
if I make you feel old, Rache.
583
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:08,160
Older.
584
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,080
With my hot-bot and my Horlicks.
585
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,920
Of course you don't...
Is that Horlicks?
586
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,720
Didn't realise you were
drinking Horlicks.
587
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,080
Yeah, I needed to settle my tummy.
OK.
588
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,640
At least I'm not actually
incontinent. Yeah. Yet. Ha.
589
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,040
I will be. Ha!
590
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,880
I'm not scared of getting old. Mm.
591
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,560
As long as I get to do it with you.
Hm.
592
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,800
Ah! My back. Are you all right?
Yeah. Not really.
593
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,880
We'll have a bath. Yeah.
We'll have a bath later. Stop it.
594
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,880
MICROPHONE FEEDS BACK
OK, Bedford, let me hear it!
595
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,840
SCATTERED CHEERS
596
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,160
My name's G. This is Amy.
597
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,960
Welcome to The G hypothesis.
598
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,800
One, two... Sorry.
599
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,280
One sec. Um... What are you doing?
No, it's...
600
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,720
I just have to...
I'll be back. I'll be back.
601
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,320
Unprofessional! Where's she going?
602
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,240
She'll be right back.
Sorry about this.
603
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,640
She just doing a...doing a slash or
something?
604
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,800
Where are you going?
605
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,000
Amy!
606
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,800
Oh... Oh!
607
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,320
Here she is! Oh, yes, please!
608
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,800
Where have you been?
Front and centre.
609
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,840
Oh, for God's sake.
Sorry. I just wanted to, um...
610
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,800
This is my granny, everyone.
CHEERING
611
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,440
She's the coolest person I know,
612
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,080
and she's met the Beatles and...
Beatles! Thomas the Tank!
613
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,560
She has! Killed one of them.
614
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,080
Yeah, I just...I really wanted
her to be here for this.
615
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,640
Amy, I love you. Aw!
616
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,120
And you, Graham.
617
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:40,320
It's G! It's G now.
618
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,720
Oh. Hey, Maya.
619
00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,120
Thanks for coming.
620
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:48,960
Aw! Oh! Aw! Maya! Oh, I didn't know
you were going to be here.
621
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,520
Oh, lovely!
All right, let's hurry up. Come on.
622
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,360
OK, here we go. One, two,
a one, two, three, four!
623
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,480
Yeah!
624
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:07,000
of a robot child
625
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:12,720
a mother's smile
50560
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.