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1
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,520
Doesn't she look amazing?
You look fabulous!
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,840
Are you scared of spiders? No!
3
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,360
-Cheers!
-Up your bum.
4
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:15,600
Great. You all right, Mum? Mm-hm.
5
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,040
Oh, OK, you're just touching
my hair, yeah?
6
00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,360
Just relax.
7
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,320
Just let me know
when you're going to...
8
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,080
BUZZING
Argh! Oh, my God!
9
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,440
Stop squirming, Mum.
Yeah, I am trying, Sam.
10
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,200
I need something to
bite down on, Amy.
11
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,800
I already gave you one of my
breadsticks. Yeah, and I ate it.
12
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,560
I need a proper stick from a tree.
13
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,800
Yeah, well, I haven't got
a box of those, weirdly.
14
00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,680
OK. I... OK.
15
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,480
Let's go. Let's go.
16
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:39,560
BUZZING
17
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,840
Oh, God, no, I feel...
You must stop moving.
18
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,720
Otherwise, we will run out of time.
Yeah.
19
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,320
I'm sorry, Katya,
but please don't rush me.
20
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,360
I nearly passed out last time.
21
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:49,800
Really?
22
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,320
OK, sorry.
23
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,320
Let's do it.
24
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,400
OK.
25
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,880
OK. It's cool. Yeah?
26
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,520
OK, let's do it.
27
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,440
BUZZING
Oh, God!
28
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,920
Right. I can't. Help me hold her
down. Sam. I've got the camera.
29
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,360
I can't do it. Well, put it down.
30
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,560
Oh, God! God!
31
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:07,880
Mum, you can.
RACHEL WHIMPERS
32
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,240
You have to. You can't leave
your tattoo looking like that.
33
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,840
I can't do it.
34
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,080
Come on, Mum.
35
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,720
We're going to be late
for Dad's police thing.
36
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,080
BUZZING, RACHEL SCREECHES
37
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,760
What HAVE you done?
38
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,480
Oh, no!
39
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,080
What?! I love it.
40
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,440
Oh, please tell me
you can rub it off.
41
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,920
But I don't want to rub it off.
42
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,200
Amy... You do know it's not even
in English!
43
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,720
Um, yes, of course I do.
44
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,760
It's Elvish, right, Amy?
45
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,160
No, it's...it's "Maya" in Sanskrit.
46
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,840
It means magic.
47
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,480
Well... Amy,
48
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,800
all tattoos mean the same thing.
49
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,600
What? What's that, then?
50
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:45,800
Impressionable.
51
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,120
I think it's dope.
52
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,920
Dope? Dope!
53
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,800
Really? Yeah. Why not?
54
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,560
I don't mind a tat, if it's romantic
and you're not covered in the things
55
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,160
like a bloody...drummer.
56
00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:57,720
Oh, that's romantic, is it?
57
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,080
Scratching someone's name
on your body so everyone knows
58
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,280
who you belong to? All right,
59
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,600
I won't expect you to get one
for me. But that's...
60
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,760
We're not the tattoo generation.
Mm-hm.
61
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,000
And I'm the type of person
who hates needles.
62
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:09,440
That's every type of person, Mum.
63
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,080
Yeah, but I medically hate them.
64
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,120
The school caretaker had to pin me
to the floor
65
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,480
when I had my BCG.
66
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,040
OK, well, I hope he was fired.
67
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,560
He was. He was fired.
68
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,360
Anyone want five Hobnobs
before I go?
69
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,960
Are we doing this test or not?
70
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,560
Yes. Because I could be practising
my marching right now.
71
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:25,520
Yes, I'll have five Hobnobs,
thanks, Mum!
72
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,360
Yes, Amy, can you take your tattoo
elsewhere, please?
73
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,480
Sam and I are actually revising.
74
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:31,680
Sam's filming.
75
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,160
Well... Yeah, filming my revision,
so it counts.
76
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,080
OK, right. When was the first
official diagnosis of autism?
77
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,680
Yeah, I won't need that.
78
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,400
As in, you don't know it?
As in, ask me practical stuff.
79
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,520
IMITATES WRONG-ANSWER BUZZER
Uh-uhhh! 1943.
80
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,120
Not "uh-uhhh"!
I just didn't give an answer.
81
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,320
Uh-uhhh!
82
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,760
What are the main symptoms of ADHD?
83
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,160
Attention deficit hypera...
84
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,360
Yes, I know what it means.
85
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,440
God, you're annoying. All right!
86
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,320
Difficulty concentrating,
87
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,880
inability to sit still,
88
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,320
acting without thought.
I mean, that's basically me.
89
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,600
Sh, Sam. What else is there?
90
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,800
Yeah, interrupting conversations.
That's another one.
91
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,000
Oh, my God. You see?
Yeah, that would explain
92
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,080
why you're quite so bad
at sitting still.
93
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,600
Yeah, it would, actually.
94
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,400
Well, of course
Sam can concentrate.
95
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,720
He's always making bloody films.
No, but that's...
96
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,080
That's another symptom.
That's hyperfocus.
97
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,880
Look. Yep.
98
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,440
"People with ADHD may experience
an intense fixation on one activity
99
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,160
"for an extended period of time."
100
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:26,960
We should get you assessed.
101
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,520
Oh, he's fine!
102
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,040
He's just lazy and distractible.
That's a symptom of being
103
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,320
a living man.
104
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,880
But if he's got ADHD....
DOORBELL
105
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,320
..he'll get extra time on his exams
and a free laptop.
106
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,200
Yeah, you should probably be tested.
Yeah, yeah.
107
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,440
What kind of laptop is it?
108
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,440
Well, I'm pleased you're focused
on the right things.
109
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,840
Doorbell!
110
00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,960
Yeah, I know, Rachel, I'll get it.
111
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,680
Oh, Robin! Cheryl!
112
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,600
Hi! Hi, Sue!
113
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,000
You all right? Yes,
114
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,800
well, the THREE of us
are very all right, thank you.
115
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,000
THEY GIGGLE
116
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,240
Would you like a Hobnob?
117
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,320
Mm, all three of us would not
like a Hobnob, thanks.
118
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,200
I would, actually. Sorry, one of us
would, but the other two would not,
119
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,040
as in there are three in total.
You OK, Robin?
120
00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,560
Yes, the THREE of us are
more than OK, thanks.
121
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,880
What?
122
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,120
I think... We are...
123
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,720
I think Cherry's pregnant.
Sam! You've ruined it!
124
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,800
RACHEL AND SUE SQUEAL
Oh, my God, why would you...?! I'm sorry. He's ruined it! I'm sorry.
125
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,560
That wasn't on you, Sam. Oh, my God!
Oh, Cherry! Cherry! Cherry!
126
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,760
I've got a photo.
127
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,720
I didn't know you had it in you.
128
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,840
Do you know what? Cherry didn't know
she had it in her
129
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,400
till about three weeks ago. Oh!
Paul! Amy!
130
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,600
Yeah. Cherry's having a baby!
EXCITED CHATTER
131
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,840
With Robin!
132
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,560
We've done it!
133
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,280
Oh, my God! He's cracked it.
134
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,520
Yeah! Oh, my God!
135
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,960
Oh, look at that!
136
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,000
Awww! Look! Yeah.
137
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,840
You can't see a lot, but
it's definitely got a hot face.
138
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,600
Oh, hundy P. I mean, that profile.
139
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,040
Phwoar!
140
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,720
Well, don't "phwoar" your own baby.
141
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,600
Well, I'm sorry, but come
to me with that pout
142
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,120
and you are getting phwoared.
143
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:57,600
I don't care whose baby you are.
144
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,200
Let me see. Wow. Do you know
what you're having?
145
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,000
No, they can't tell yet
cos it's only about the size
146
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,400
of a Coco Pop.
147
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,520
I'm actually hoping for a girl.
148
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,120
He's so modern. Do you know,
149
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,520
I thought your sperms, Robin,
were a dog's dinner.
150
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,720
Oh, Mum, please!
151
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,960
No, it's all right, it's all right -
they are a bit.
152
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,120
But I guess one of the weird
little goons must have managed
153
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,480
to ram his ugly mug
into Cherry's egg.
154
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,920
"Let me in!"
155
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,920
Don't mime - it's embarrassing.
Sorry.
156
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,000
So hang on,
it's a shotgun wedding! Yeah!
157
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:26,640
Like ours!
158
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,880
I should get a shotgun
for the best man's speech.
159
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,160
Oh, my God! Rachel,
that would be hilaire!
160
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,600
Well, no.
161
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:33,960
What do you mean, like ours?
162
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:35,680
Well, I was pregnant with Amy.
163
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,880
That's why WE got married.
No, it's not!
164
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,240
We were allowed to have children
out of wedlock, Rachel.
165
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,400
It was Bedford
in the early noughties,
166
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,400
not rural Ireland in the 1400s.
167
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,080
Yeah, but our...our dad's quite
traditional, so... Yeah.
168
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,360
Wow.
169
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,880
And there was me thinking that
we got married because you love me.
170
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,080
I did. Did?!
171
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,600
Do. Do. Still do, did.
172
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,120
What? Did. Oh, my God, Mum, stop.
Oh, God.
173
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,200
Just forget it. Wow.
174
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,040
I got that tattoo. Look, Robin.
Oh, sweet!
175
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,800
That is world classy.
176
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,960
So you knew about this, did you?
Yeah, of course.
177
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,360
I sent her to Katya,
who did all of my cherries. Look.
178
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,400
Oh. Nice, isn't it?
179
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,720
Oh, that's like ringworm.
180
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,040
Yeah, it... What?
181
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,520
Yeah, well...
182
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,560
It does a bit, yeah.
..I'm off to choir practice.
183
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,240
Aww, well done again, you two.
184
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,760
Thanks, Sue. Cheers, yeah.
185
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,040
Oh, can't wait to have a cuddle with
the wee one.
186
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,680
Oh, when it's out and about,
187
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,960
I will be dumping it here a lot.
188
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,200
Yeah, well, I won't be around then,
though.
189
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,520
What?
190
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,480
Oh, no, Sue, don't be like that.
191
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,800
You've got a good year or two
left in you yet, I reckon.
192
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,440
No, I mean, I will have moved out.
193
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,880
Oh. Yeah.
I've made an offer on a flat.
194
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,280
Oh, great! Oh, congrats!
That's exciting.
195
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,240
No? Yeah. No?
196
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,240
Um, right, your Hobnobs are
on the corner there, Paul.
197
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,360
Yeah, thanks, Mum.
I'm eating them now.
198
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,840
Yeah. Bye.
199
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,040
Bye, Sue. Also, FYI, I should say
200
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,520
we've had to shunt the date
of the wedding.
201
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,880
Oh, have you?
202
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,080
Yeah, a little bit. Yeah.
It's now on this Saturday
203
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,360
because that's the only day
204
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,400
that worked for 50 Shades Of Mellow.
205
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:08,560
Oh? What's that?
The wedding band we wanted.
206
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,920
We've gone big budge on the cake,
207
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,600
the band and the video,
208
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,800
and then everything else will
be like, not...
209
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,200
Shit.
NOT shit. No. But, well, cheap.
210
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,440
Cheaper. Yeah.
211
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,400
And 50 Shades are sensationnelle.
212
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,840
Yeah. Sensational.
They can do everything, can't they?
213
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,120
Beyonce. Beyonce. Coldplay, Buble...
214
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,560
Hang on, Saturday the 15th?
That's my passing out parade.
215
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,400
Oh... Ed Sheeran,
216
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:31,640
Chumbawamba, Kravitz.
217
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,240
What's that, like a medical thing?
Travis.
218
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,520
No, I'm saying it's...
it's like the police.
219
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,440
The Police?
Yeah, they can do them, no problem.
220
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,800
Or Sting on his own.
Fields Of Gold - yes, please.
221
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,240
It's like a graduation,
but they say passing out.
222
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,040
Tinie Tempah! Yeah, no problem.
223
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,960
They used to do Michael Jackson,
but they don't do him any more.
224
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,440
Yeah. That's at midday.
225
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,880
The wedding's not until four,
so you'll have bags of time.
226
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,040
Oh, OK! Yeah. I mean,
I might not pass out at all,
227
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,720
if they can't find a uniform
in time.
228
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,040
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah? What's the problem?
229
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,280
Your "Humpty Dumpty,
big waist, short legs" thing?
230
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,480
Uh, can you stop comparing me
to Humpty Dumpty, please, Amy?!
231
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,160
Rude! That IS rude, yeah.
232
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,440
And actually,
this is about the helmet.
233
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,360
All of their helmets are too small.
234
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,400
What, all of them?
Yeah, all of them.
235
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,200
I have an unusually big head.
236
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,840
Like Humpty Dumpty.
237
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,440
Well, he's ALL head,
really, isn't he?
238
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:17,880
Yeah. Well, he's an egg, yeah.
239
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,280
I mean, apparently Greater
Manchester Police have got a very,
240
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,560
very big one they can send down.
That's if they can find it.
241
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,400
OK. How big IS your head, then?
242
00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,040
I mean, you're looking at it.
243
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,360
Come on, then, let's measure it. No!
244
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:31,000
No! You're not measuring his head!
You're not measuring my bloody head!
245
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,400
Here they come! Where is he?
246
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,600
Oh, my God, I can see him!
I can see him!
247
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,680
Look at him!
248
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,840
Oh, my God.
249
00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,480
Look at that hat!
250
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,480
It's sort of wedged on.
251
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,160
He can't even march properly!
252
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,240
He looks like a Thunderbird!
253
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,280
Stop laughing,
it's not funny!
254
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,560
You're laughing, too!
255
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,160
I'm not, I'm...
256
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,880
Granny's here.
257
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,880
Hurry up, you're missing...
258
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,160
..whatever this is.
259
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,080
The marching.
THEY CHUCKLE
260
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,560
Sorry, I got held up at choir.
261
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,720
You're a bit overdressed for this.
262
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,960
Yeah, well, I thought I'd get me
wedding togs on now, you know,
263
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,800
save going back later.
264
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,880
Here he comes! Oh, God.
265
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,120
Oh, doesn't Paul look all sexy
in that uniform?!
266
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,360
No.
267
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,800
Well, he would maybe if he didn't
look so pained.
268
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,680
Or knew how to march.
269
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,000
AMY CHUCKLES
270
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,200
Oh, it's so lovely to see you all.
271
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:26,800
Oh, Amy. Aww.
272
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,200
I've missed you.
273
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,240
Oh, we saw you last weekend, Granny.
274
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,880
I know, but I feel so cut off in
that flat,
275
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,320
you know, with no-one to chat to.
276
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,360
Aww. I keep finding myself talking
277
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,800
to the woman in the lift.
278
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,240
What? Why is there a woman
in the lift?
279
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,120
As in, the one
that tells you what floor you're on.
280
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,680
The computer. Oh, Sue, you shouldn't
be talking to the computer.
281
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,680
Well, I'm not mad.
I only say please and thank you.
282
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,080
And she's got such a lovely,
cheery manner.
283
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,320
You know, "Doors opening!"
284
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,120
Stand at ease!
285
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,320
Welcome, cadets, family and friends
286
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,440
to Bedford Constabulary
Training Centre.
287
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,600
Today marks the end of these
cadets' training,
288
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,680
and so we move to the beginning
of their careers
289
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,360
as new police officers.
GROANING
290
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:12,120
Over the course of their training,
they have made me proud.
291
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,000
What's he...? What's that?
292
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,880
Er, I think it's Dad.
293
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:19,200
..and upholding our shared values.
Is he OK?
294
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,720
Yeah, I reckon he's...
THUDDING
295
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,960
AMY GASPS
Oh, my God! Oh, Paul!
296
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,160
Dad! Paul!
297
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,160
Oh, God! Dad, are you OK?
Paul!
298
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,200
My son! My son's fallen over!
299
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,480
FLATULENCE
300
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,120
It's just that stupid helmet.
301
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,360
That was the issue.
302
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:35,960
I marched well, I thought.
303
00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,560
It was just too tight.
304
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,440
You know, it was constricting
blood flow,
305
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,360
and that's why I fainted.
306
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,040
I don't think people noticed.
307
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,760
No, they probably just thought it
was part
308
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,760
of the passing out ceremony.
Oh, ha-ha. Very funny.
309
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,800
Let me tell you something, there is
nothing funny
310
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,240
about a tight helmet, Amy, OK?
SAM SCOFFS
311
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,960
Maybe you should make your own.
312
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,960
You know, out of papier-mache?
313
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,320
Oh, good idea, Mum.
314
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,160
Yeah. That will strike fear
into the heart
315
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,840
of the criminal community,
wouldn't it,
316
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,960
being chased down by a policeman
with a home-made helmet!
317
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,400
All right?
318
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,520
How you doing, pal? You pass out OK?
319
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,200
Oh, yeah. More than OK.
320
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,320
He fainted.
Oh, thank you, Rachel.
321
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,840
I realised I embarrassed you.
322
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,200
There's no need to rub it in.
323
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,960
So, what...? What happens now?
324
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,600
Do you have to, like, do it again?
Like Rachel's exam?
325
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:19,880
What? What do you mean?
326
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,400
No, I did still graduate.
327
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,480
I just had to, you know, lie down.
328
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,120
Right. But I missed the bit
where they throw
329
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,560
their hat in the air at the end.
330
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,400
Yeah, if they did that
at the beginning,
331
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,960
this would never have happened.
332
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,040
Well, yeah.
333
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,480
So, how are you feeling?
You ready?
334
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:34,200
I feel like I'm going to chunder
my guts up,
335
00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,600
but apart from that... Aw! I felt
like that on our wedding day.
336
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,280
Did you?
That was just morning sickness.
337
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,520
Which is one of the reasons
you married me, apparently.
338
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,120
My God, can you please stop being
so pathetic?
339
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,240
OK, Rach, they're ready.
So, have you got the rings?
340
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,200
Yes, I've got them on my necklace
so I don't lose them.
341
00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,320
OK, she's coming. So, Stanley,
stop picking your nose.
342
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,400
OK, up! Everyone, up! Up!
343
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:55,120
I used to be able to walk
to choir practice from here.
344
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,320
I'll have to drive from
the new flat.
345
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,720
And pay for parking
through an app.
346
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,560
Mm.
Oh, God, Amy.
347
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,280
I don't think I can handle the apps.
348
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,960
Oh, it'll be fine, Granny.
349
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,280
And you can always move back in here
if you don't like it.
350
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,960
Right, Dad?
Huh?
351
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,960
Yeah, in theory, I guess.
352
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,080
Is this...?
353
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:13,520
No, that's one of Maya's.
354
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,400
Oh, well, can we have two clear
piles of bags coming in
355
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,080
and bags coming out, please?
356
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,240
Sue's are pink and leather,
mine are black and binny.
357
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,760
Yeah, sure.
358
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,640
Ooh!
359
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,880
Are you having my old room, Maya?
360
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,960
Er, well, we want to be in
the same room, really.
361
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,440
So we'll both be in Amy's.
362
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,040
It'll be a bit of a squeeze,
but still...
363
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,360
Yeah, and I'm going to use your
old room as a music studio.
364
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,720
Er, no, no. You're not dumping
your harp in there, Amy.
365
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,080
It's not dumping it.
I'm playing it.
366
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,920
And I want to put my keyboard
in there as well.
367
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,760
Well, tough turds, princess.
You can't.
368
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,960
I'm putting the rowing machine
in there.
369
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,640
What? Yeah. No, come on.
That's not fair.
370
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,800
This is what happens when you keep
calling people Humpty Dumpty, Amy.
371
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,200
They start to exercise.
372
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:54,600
Sorry, Sam.
He won't use it.
373
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,240
Come on, mate.
374
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,760
I mean, it's hardly Katya's fault!
Yeah. Mm.
375
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,960
Yeah. She did exactly
what you asked for.
376
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,960
Also, English isn't her first
language,
377
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,960
so what did you expect?
What's...? I like it.
378
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,960
Do you? Well, no. No.
379
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,880
I like the story behind it more
than the actual it.
380
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,960
What's happened?
So Rach got a tattoo for Paolo.
381
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,280
Oh, my God, really? What is it?
382
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,960
Show him. Go on.
Yeah, well...
383
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,960
You know how I hate needles?
384
00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,640
Well, I know how everyone does.
385
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,000
Yeah, but mainly me.
OK.
386
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,240
So I wanted to get a small Paul
on my shoulder blade to just...
387
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,240
Shut him up.
No, to be romantic.
388
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,840
Yeah.
Well, both.
389
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,840
And then, when I got there and saw
the actual kit,
390
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:33,960
I sort of panicked a bit,
391
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,360
so I thought it might just be better
to get his initials.
392
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,960
You know, like, PJ.
Paul Jessop.
393
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,240
Cos it's, you know,
half the letters.
394
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,760
And then I thought... And the tattoo
woman was... Katya.
395
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,760
..really getting impatient
at this point.
396
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,440
I thought I might just get
the P first
397
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,280
to see if I could handle that.
So...
398
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,600
Yeah.
..she...
399
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:53,800
I asked for a P on my shoulder,
and she...
400
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,120
Well... Oh, God, she did this.
401
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,960
Oh, OK!
LAUGHTER
402
00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:01,160
I'll have a P, please, Bob.
Yeah. Oh, that's very good.
403
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,800
Love it.
He's done that already, yeah.
404
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,880
Just go back to Katya,
tell her to fix it.
405
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,720
Get, you know, the stalk put on.
The stalk?
406
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,560
You mean, get the rest of
the pea plant on? No.
407
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,640
What? No, I mean, get the rest
of the P letter. Oh.
408
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,360
It is very confusing. It is.
Not really.
409
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,880
I mean, I don't want to get any more
tattooing, Robin.
410
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,360
I nearly passed out last time.
411
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,000
But you can't leave it like that,
Rach!
412
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,560
It looks like you're growing mould.
413
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,960
Does it? Yeah!
Oh, don't put me next to Stanley!
414
00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,760
What? Why? Stan..?
415
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,280
No, that's lovely. All the kids
are together, so...
416
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,680
And he's, what? He's your...
He's your... Cousin.
417
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:29,960
..cousin, so be nice.
418
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,520
He's obsessed with lions, though.
It's so boring.
419
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,520
Oh, well. Oh, Robin...
420
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,600
What?
421
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,040
You know he won't come.
422
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,960
He might.
423
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,080
He said he might.
424
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,560
And it's much harder for me
to film if I'm at the back.
425
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,520
We don't need you to film, Sam.
426
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,320
Lights, Camera, Love are doing that
already. That's taken care of.
427
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,040
Also, Cherry doesn't really
want someone
428
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,640
with ADHD to film things.
Oh, Robin!
429
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,440
No offence. She worries it might
all look a bit fast and furious.
430
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,680
Nothing wrong with that.
That's a cracking franchise.
431
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,560
PHONE RINGS
Well, that... Oh, hello. Hello.
432
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,960
Sorry.
Bet it's her.
433
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:04,400
It is her. It is her.
434
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,120
Love of my life,
fire of my loins.
435
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,200
Er...
436
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,480
Yeah, we're just trying
the cakes now, babe.
437
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,080
Yeah. Well, we are going
crizzle cray
438
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,960
for the amaretto cream,
put it that way.
439
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,960
It just means we're going crazy.
440
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,120
Er...
441
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,480
Well, no, I told Jelson he could be
the MC there, babe.
442
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,520
Yeah, he's a drum and bass man
from back in the day.
443
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,280
Yeah, he's proper. Yeah.
444
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,800
So you've got ADHD, Sam?
445
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,000
Yeah, looks like it.
Yeah.
446
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,200
My uncle had, well, not exactly
the same, but PTSD.
447
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,840
Yeah, it's not remotely the same,
Dean.
448
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,000
Yeah, well, he's fine now.
449
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,960
So you can take comfort from that,
innit?
450
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,680
Er... Yeah, well, you know,
I'm giving Sam
451
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,680
some revision counselling,
so it's all in hand.
452
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:41,760
Counselling?
453
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,960
You mean nagging?
454
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,120
Motivation.
455
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,440
And please do make an effort to film
the posters, Sam,
456
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,800
since we put them up everywhere.
457
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,880
So Robin told me about your idea.
458
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,160
Absolutely love it.
Oh, yeah?
459
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,960
Yeah.
460
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,360
Oh, yeah? Thanks, Dean.
461
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,680
Which idea? The shotgun for
your best man speech.
462
00:15:57,760 --> 00:15:58,960
Genius.
463
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,680
Oh, no, no, no, no.
That was just...
464
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,080
I was just joking.
465
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,960
I wouldn't actually get one.
466
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,320
I wouldn't know how.
467
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,520
Oh, that's where I come in.
468
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,960
Oh, no, no. Don't...
469
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,480
Yeah, no, don't get a shotgun, Dean.
470
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,760
Cherry would really hate that,
I suspect.
471
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,840
I'm not promising anything.
No, you don't have to.
472
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,760
Just don't do it.
Yeah, probably can't anyway.
473
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,040
No, don't. Just don't.
474
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,080
Can you film the posters, please?
475
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,560
Yeah?
Where there's a will.
476
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,640
Well, there isn't a will, Dean.
Well, exactly.
477
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,520
ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS
478
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,600
Sam, out the way.
479
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,880
No, no, go away.
480
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,040
Sam.
481
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,960
You're amazing.
Yeah, I know.
482
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,040
Please be seated.
Ahem!
483
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,440
Not us.
484
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,360
We are gathered here today...
Robin.
485
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,080
..to witness the union
of this man...
486
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,720
Robin.
..and this woman...
487
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,800
Cherry.
..in holy matrimony.
488
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,040
Cherry Danielle,
489
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,600
you are my rock...
Yeah.
490
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:13,200
..and my roll...
Yeah.
491
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,400
..my lover and my teacher...
Yes.
492
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,960
..my sugar and spice and
all things nice,
493
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,960
my Peri-peri and my mayo.
494
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:25,960
I do solemnly declare that I will
respect you and cherish you,
495
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,480
guard you,
496
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,160
wash you if you want me to...
No.
497
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,160
..massage you, text you regularly,
498
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,680
never interrupt you,
499
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,960
be there, stay there,
500
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:39,520
live, laugh, love with you for as
long as we both shall live,
501
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,600
forever and ever, amen.
502
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,720
CLAPPING
No!
503
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,800
Sorry.
504
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,280
Robin Liam, you complete me.
505
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,880
I promise to be there for you,
506
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,480
to have your back,
507
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:54,680
to go deep,
508
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,720
to lift you up and
keep you grounded,
509
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,280
for now and for always,
510
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:01,760
for all three of us.
511
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,440
Oh! Aw!
512
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,960
We're having a baby!
Yeah.
513
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,720
Sit down, Sam.
514
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,320
If I could now ask for the rings?
I've got them here.
515
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,960
Sorry. Sorry.
516
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,360
Well, don't step on it!
517
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,560
Sorry.
518
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,960
It's this clasp here.
519
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,320
Ah!
Ooh, you all right?
520
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,960
Sorry. You OK? Shoulder's
quite sore.
521
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600
Just put them in a box or something.
Are you sure you don't...? Oh!
522
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,960
It's OK. OK. Well done.
Got them. There you are.
523
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,400
With this...
524
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,240
With this ring, I thee wed.
525
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,000
With this ring, I thee wed.
526
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,360
Hmm.
527
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,280
I now pronounce you man and wife.
528
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,560
Yes!
529
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,480
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
You may kiss the bride.
530
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,240
Ha-ha-ha!
531
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,200
Oi, move!
532
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,560
Cheers, Paul.
533
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,400
Penny, Boyd. Drink?
534
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,640
Hello, Paul.
535
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,400
Did you get that email I...?
Yeah.
536
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,640
Love a wedding!
537
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,920
Oh, Amy! Huh? Your dress hasn't
been ironed, look!
538
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,720
Well, yeah, because you moved out,
Granny.
539
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,800
Looks like you've been doing
origami with it.
540
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,440
I mean, we have in a way.
541
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,120
I mean, we've hardly got any hanging
space now there's two of us.
542
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,400
Everything's folded up in IKEA bags
under the bed.
543
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:21,960
I've got wardrobes.
544
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:26,240
I've got wardrobes coming
out of my absolute walls.
545
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,800
Give your clothes to me,
546
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,120
and I'll hang them up in my flat.
547
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,960
And then what? I come over every
morning in my dressing gown
548
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,960
to find something to wear?
549
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,960
If you like. Sam.
Good system.
550
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,880
Sam! What were the causes of
the Vietnam War?
551
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,440
Oh, now? Yeah. Really? Mm.
552
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,280
Don't you have to prepare a speech
or something?
553
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:44,960
Well, yeah, I've got a minute
or two.
554
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,760
Is it true, by the way,
what Robin said?
555
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,400
About you not passing your exam?
556
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,960
I, er, do have to retake it, yeah.
557
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,280
It's cos you spend so much time
helping me!
558
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,280
Of course I'm going to
prioritise you.
559
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,800
I'm your mum.
560
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,920
That's a deal.
OK. Well, thanks.
561
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,720
So, come on, Vietnam War, let's go.
562
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,480
Er, communism?
563
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,560
Yes.
Er, tunnels.
564
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,040
Mm-hm.
565
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,200
Trees.
566
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,280
Not trees.
567
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,920
You said you didn't want it!
INDISTINCT SPEECH
568
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,680
There's actually only about
400 lions living in there,
569
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,960
so there's no king of the jungle.
570
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,120
Doesn't really make sense.
Right.
571
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,960
I'll tell you another fact
about lions. Cool.
572
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,760
Lions can climb trees, though,
573
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,760
even though they mainly live
on grassland.
574
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,480
And as they're not as agile
as other big cats...
575
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,520
I'm going to go to the loo.
576
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,400
Are you worried people
won't think it's real?
577
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,080
Cos it's real.
That's not the point.
578
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,240
Why have you...?
I don't understand...
579
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,120
You asked... You asked me to get it.
No, I really, really didn't!
580
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,320
But it's a shotgun wedding!
Yeah, no, I get it, Dean!
581
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,880
I get the joke! It's my joke!
582
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,440
You don't need to explain it to me!
583
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,760
There are kids out there!
584
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,120
Oh, it'd be hilarious, Rachel.
And I've got the gun now.
585
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,760
I had to go to Rutland
to pick it up.
586
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,080
I don't know where that is.
587
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,960
I do think we should use it.
No, we should not use it!
588
00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,520
Come on! If there's ever an option
to not use a gun,
589
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,960
that's always going to be better.
590
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,240
I couldn't agree less.
591
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,880
The speeches are starting, Dean.
I'm going back in.
592
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,560
You're nuts. Nuts.
593
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,680
ROBIN SIGHS
594
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:13,360
Oh, come on, Robin.
595
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,240
And ever since that day, the gearbox
on the white Suzuki
596
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,880
has run as smoothly as
our relationship.
597
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:23,200
Oh, my giddy, giddy gosh!
598
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,440
Let me hear you make some noise!
Woo!
599
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,800
When I say renegade,
you say hardware!
600
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,440
Renegade!
Hardware!
601
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:32,520
Oh, my God.
602
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:33,720
Reload!
603
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,600
Hold on tight now.
Lock up your sons.
604
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,360
It's the R to the A
605
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,200
to the Rachel Jessop.
606
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,280
Yes, Mum!
The best man!
607
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:45,400
Bap! Bap! Bam!
608
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,960
Oh, thank you, Jelson.
609
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,200
Thank you.
610
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,360
Er...
611
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,680
So, first of all, I have to say,
612
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,000
the bridesmaids look
absolutely lovely.
613
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,400
APPLAUSE
614
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,800
Our thoughts are with those
who can't be here,
615
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,640
especially our dad, Michael,
who couldn't come
616
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,880
from France because he sadly...
617
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,120
..didn't want to.
618
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,960
But let's not get into that.
619
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,960
This is... What a wonderful day!
620
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,360
Yes! Thank you! Yeah, it is!
Yeah.
621
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,440
You know, the first time Robin
and Cherry
622
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,400
were going to get married,
I remember...
623
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,800
Back in, oh, 2020.
Yeah, it was.
624
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,600
I remember that I was...
Covid.
625
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,760
No. No, no, no, no. Oh, gosh.
Go on, point it at him!
626
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,960
No, no, no, no.
Oh, my God!
627
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,200
Because Cherry's pregnant!
628
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,960
Yeah. No, no, that...
So it's a shotgun wedding!
629
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,560
Yeah, no, we get it.
We all get it, Dean.
630
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,240
Stop pointing it at people.
Well...
631
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,960
Put the gun down, mate.
Some people might not have got it!
632
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,600
Oh, shotgun wedding!
633
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,960
Oh, that's funny, that!
634
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,560
Yeah, you see, it's actually quite
a subtle... Dean, be careful!
635
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,960
GUNSHOT
636
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,360
Rach! You all right? Mum!
637
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,440
LAUGHTER
638
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,400
What, don't! Amy, he'll go mental!
639
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:01,960
No, I've got to film this!
It's so cute!
640
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,960
Look at him!
641
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,880
What are the key themes in Macbeth?
Er...
642
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,240
Witchcraft.
Yeah.
643
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,200
Scotland. Scotland's not a theme.
It's a place.
644
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,960
Er, ambition.
Ambition! To the bird feeder!
645
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,960
This is how Mum's finally getting
Sam to do any revision.
646
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:17,440
What is photosynthesis?
647
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:18,760
Er...
648
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,800
Plants. It's how plants eat.
649
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,360
They eat and process...
Oi!
650
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,040
That's my camera! Don't touch
my camera!
651
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,400
Amy, come on, stop it.
652
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,360
Just put it down!
Yeah.
653
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,000
So much for 50 Shades Of Mellow.
654
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,480
They are absolutely livid.
655
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:32,680
So, what?
656
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:33,960
They just won't play?
No.
657
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,960
I mean, their instruments
are covered in cake.
658
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,240
Mm. And...?
659
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,520
So's my face!
660
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:39,960
Bwap, bwap, bwap!
661
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,320
Those of you who managed
to get cake,
662
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,200
remember to check for shrapnel.
663
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,280
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
664
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,520
I'm sorry, Rob.
665
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,560
Oh, that's all right, Deano.
It's not your fault.
666
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,960
What?!
667
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,440
It is his fault!
Yeah.
668
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:59,120
And it's not OK cos we haven't
got a band any more!
669
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,960
I thought it'd be funny!
What?
670
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,400
And not loaded... Well, luckily,
Paul stopped anyone
671
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,800
from getting hurt.
672
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,360
I'm so proud of you, Paul.
673
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,640
Well, I just saw that there was
a potentially live firearm,
674
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,320
so I just had to step in...
Yes, all right!
675
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,960
..neutralise the weapon. You don't
need to talk us through it again.
676
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,120
You're welcome.
677
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,480
I could plug in my iPhone, babe,
crank out some tunes?
678
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:20,960
Plug it into what?
679
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,600
The music table thing is completely
spattered. Is it?
680
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,600
The mixing desk, Rob.
The what?
681
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,080
Mixing desk.
No. And again.
682
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,960
The mixing desk.
Mixing desk.
683
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,400
I could sing!
684
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,640
Really?
And Amy could accompany me.
685
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,720
Ah! Er... OK.
686
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,400
I mean, I could try.
687
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,960
Oh! Yes, Amy!
688
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,600
It's all coming together!
Is it?
689
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,120
Yes. Is it?
690
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,880
Yeah.
691
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,560
I mean, just to say, Sue, sorry.
692
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,440
The first dance was going
to be Wap
693
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,240
by Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B.
694
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,480
But obviously... I mean, do what you
can if you don't...
695
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,280
Sorry, Robin. I don't know that one.
I didn't think you would.
696
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,560
It's OK. Yeah.
697
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,560
She doesn't know it, babe!
Right.
698
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,520
Sorry. Oh, now, we should get you
a chair, Maya.
699
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,960
Look, you're too squished
on that stool.
700
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,600
No, it's fine, Sue.
We're used to it.
701
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,680
This is home from home.
Yeah.
702
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,920
What?
703
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,280
What was that little cheeky smile?
704
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:16,560
What's this?
705
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,960
My flat.
706
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,400
Well, your flat.
707
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,160
You should have it.
708
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,280
Have it?
709
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:25,480
What are you talking about?
What, have your flat?
710
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,280
Well, no, live in it.
711
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,240
It'd still be mine.
712
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,120
Are you being serious?
She can't be serious?
713
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:32,960
Paul said I could move back in.
714
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,040
Oh!
715
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,000
# Why are we waiting? #
716
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,520
Shut up, Dean!
717
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,600
Sorry, just give me a sec.
718
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,320
Have you got a flat for me as well,
Granny?
719
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,960
One, two, three, four...
720
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:48,960
Oh! Yes, Amy!
721
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,040
That's lovely!
722
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,680
# You're nobody till somebody
loves you... #
723
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,600
Yes, Sue!
724
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,120
Wow!
725
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,960
I actually know this one!
726
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,080
# You're nobody till somebody
cares... #
727
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,120
Come on, everyone! Come on!
728
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:13,840
# You may be king... #
In you come!
729
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:17,960
# You may have the world
and it's gold... #
730
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,960
Go on, Sue!
731
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,280
It's an absolute deathtrap,
this cake.
732
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,600
It's so bloody creamy.
733
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,400
Oh, my God!
734
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,560
Is it ever! Mm.
735
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,160
Come on.
736
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:36,960
Dance with me.
What?
737
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,520
Dance with me!
OK.
738
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,440
LAUGHTER
739
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,320
Ah! Ow! Huh?
740
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,320
Huh?! It's not shrapnel, is it?
741
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,400
No, of course it's not shrapnel.
742
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:51,080
Actually, I've got something
to show you.
743
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,560
So, I wanted to get a tattoo...
What?
744
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,640
Really?
..of your name, yeah.
745
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,160
You didn't!
Well, hang on.
746
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:01,640
For various reasons,
747
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,960
including an exceptionally obtuse
tattoo artist,
748
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,360
that didn't work out.
749
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,080
So I got this instead.
750
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,400
Undo the zip.
751
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,400
Rach!
752
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,480
It's meant to be me and you.
753
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,280
As in...
754
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,520
..because we're peas in a pod.
755
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,360
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
756
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,440
That's...
757
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,680
I love peas.
I know you do.
758
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,080
I'm really glad I married you.
759
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,240
You do know that, don't you?
760
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,240
It wasn't because I was pregnant.
761
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:50,360
Well, I mean, it was a bit,
but...
762
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,800
..it was because I wanted to.
763
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,680
I still want to.
764
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,520
# As sure as the stars... #
765
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,440
Yeah! Woo!
# Shine above... #
766
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:06,960
Sam!
767
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,960
We're getting a game of It going,
if you want in?
768
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,440
Er, It? I'm 16.
769
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,440
Is that a yes or a no?
770
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,320
Yeah, all right. Go on, then.
It!
771
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:19,720
# So find yourself somebody
772
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,040
# Find yourself somebody
773
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:30,080
# Find yourself somebody to love. #
55788
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