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1
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,720
Can you not leave your jacket
just on...?
2
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,720
Well, has it changed shape or...?
3
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,680
You shouldn't be eating
so many bananas. Why?
4
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,000
MEGAPHONE: OK.
And now right a bit, Edgar.
5
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,080
My right, that is.
6
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,160
Oh, now it's come down on the left.
7
00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:26,720
Yes, thank you. I can see that.
8
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,200
My left, that is.
9
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,800
Yes, it's also my left, Sue.
10
00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,480
We're facing the same way.
11
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,080
And no need for the megaphone.
12
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,640
I'm about four feet away.
13
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,440
Quick as you can, Edgar.
OK, let's do this.
14
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,960
What? What does that mean?
15
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,360
Keep an eye out for Blue Hat, Sam.
16
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,640
Blue hat. OK. With a dog.
17
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,640
Yeah. All right, Dad. I'm on it.
18
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,760
Oh, good. You're selling
the doorstop, finally.
19
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,480
HE CHUCKLES
You're selling your Potters?
20
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,080
Don't sell your Potters!
21
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,280
She's selling everything.
22
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,480
If it's not Norway-themed,
she's dumping it.
23
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,680
Surprised she hasn't dumped me.
Ha-ha.
24
00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,600
These are early editions.
They might be rare.
25
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,440
Rare? It's the best-selling book
series of all time, Dad.
26
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,880
Yeah, well, I'd keep hold
of them if I were you.
27
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,440
Yeah, well, you're not me.
28
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:07,920
Thank God. Bit harsh.
29
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,880
And you can't dress like that,
by the way.
30
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:11,120
What? Why not?
31
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,080
You're impersonating a police
officer, which is a crime.
32
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,000
Well, I'm in training to be one.
33
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,720
And you're impersonating
a Norwegian, so leave him alone.
34
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,960
PAUL CHUCKLES
Thank you.
35
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,520
I'm literally just wearing a jumper.
36
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,880
Dad, behind you! Hmm? Blue hat!
Huh?
37
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,680
No, that's not blue, Sam.
38
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,320
That's, if anything, teal.
39
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,040
But keep your eyes out.
40
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,320
Yep.
41
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:34,640
We'll find the sicko.
42
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,560
Whoa. Hmm?
Where'd you get that?
43
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,920
Toys "R" Us. Have a great street
fayre, everyone. Stay safe.
44
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,280
See it, say it, s...
45
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,080
Solve it, if you can.
46
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,640
If you can't, come to me.
47
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,360
MIC FEEDBACK
48
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,160
There we go, look.
49
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:56,320
I now declare this street fayre
officially open for business.
50
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,160
Good luck, everyone.
51
00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,400
APPLAUSE
52
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,040
Stay safe, everyone.
Stay safe. Yeah!
53
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,040
Anything for me?
54
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,320
No.
55
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,720
Oh, God, what's happening here?
56
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,320
Nothing. I'm just writing my essay.
57
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,160
No, you're not. You're looking
at computer stands.
58
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,280
Yeah, to help me write.
That's all part of the writing.
59
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,040
What's in the mail?
Nothing for you.
60
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,120
It's all for Granny.
What, all of it? Mm-hm.
61
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,840
"Essentially,"
is that all you've written?
62
00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,760
Well, yeah, no,
I've got lots of notes.
63
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,320
It's all written, in a way.
64
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,280
It's just not written down. Right.
65
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,680
"Which therapeutic techniques..."
66
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,360
"..might best help
a client experiencing stress?"
67
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,560
Yes, that's...it's the title.
Can you go away, please?
68
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,560
No, I'm having breakfast.
RACHEL SIGHS
69
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,320
Where are the bowls?
I have no idea.
70
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,280
Your grandmother's tidied,
as in hidden all our things.
71
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,760
Oh, thanks, Edgar.
72
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,400
Absolutely. Shh.
73
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:45,760
And you, Edgar.
74
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,200
Yeah. Bye, then.
75
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,240
Bye, Edgar.
76
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,320
Who are you talking to? Edgar.
Oh, Edgar?
77
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,320
Who's Edgar? Edgar!
78
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,040
You know Edgar.
79
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,360
Number 53, next to the Rugers.
80
00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:58,560
Who are the Rugers?
81
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,880
Well, you know the way
Edgar and Maeve
82
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,080
used to organise
the street fayre every year.
83
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,760
Well, I'm doing it this year.
How have you done this?
84
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,600
You only moved in
about three weeks ago.
85
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,000
Granny, where are the bowls?
86
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,400
Well, I just let everybody know
that I'm now living here.
87
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,200
Yeah, hence why we're getting sent
endless adverts for baths
88
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,320
with doors in them.
89
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,680
AMY SIGHS, DOORBELL RINGS
Well, this is... BOTH: Doorbell!
90
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,000
Where are the bowls, Granny?
91
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,880
Ah, now, the bowls now live up here.
92
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:29,000
Uh-huh. And the plates
are down here, you see? Right.
93
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,320
Get down on the floor! Ahh! God.
94
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,960
God, Robin.
Yeah, you all right?
95
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,480
God, that's enormous.
96
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,720
Oh, that's what Cherry said!
97
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,640
No, I didn't. No, she didn't,
actually, no.
98
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,960
It's, yeah, it's a Methuselah.
We're celebrating.
99
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,280
Oh, wow. What are you celebrating?
100
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,880
My divorce has come through.
Oh.
101
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,800
Yeah, ring the bells. It's
official - she's back on the market.
102
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,600
Ding-dong! Stop doing that.
103
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,120
Yeah, sorry.
Paul, Robin and Cherry are here.
104
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,920
Yeah, I'm just doing my sample!
Hi, Robin and Cherry!
105
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,520
Eh up, Paolo. What...
106
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,440
What, uh, what type of sample
is it, Rach?
107
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,520
Um, it's, you know...
108
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,120
Don't ask. A stool.
What, stool?
109
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,280
Yeah. Poo. He's pooing in a pot.
110
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,360
Oh. Gross! Yeah.
Well, no, he was told to.
111
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,040
It's not a hobby. Sure, that's not
one of Paolo's on the drive, is it?
112
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,680
What?! What do you mean?
CHERRY LAUGHS
113
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,120
Is there a stool out there? Yeah.
114
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,040
And the rest. It's more like
a bloody armchair.
115
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,440
Probably that dog again.
Yeah. Hi, Robin, Cheryl.
116
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:17,680
Oh! What a big bottle.
That's what Cherry said.
117
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,480
That doesn't work, does it?
Hiya, Sue. You all right? Hi.
118
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,800
It's a Methuselah of champagne,
119
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,320
because I am
now officially divorced.
120
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,640
THEY CHEER
So, yay! Ding-dong! Stop it. Sorry.
121
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,280
Where are the wine glasses, Sue?
122
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,560
We're not opening it now, surely.
It's ten in the morning.
123
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,400
Yeah, no, but...
And you're writing your essay.
124
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,480
Yeah, but I've got weeks.
And it's warm, Rach.
125
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,880
It's not for now. Well, then,
why did you bring it round?
126
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,640
It won't fit in our fridge, so we
wanted to see if it'd go in yours.
127
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,400
Oh, right. There I was thinking you
wanted to see us. Huh! But no.
128
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,120
-Mum?
-Oh, well, that's...
129
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:46,680
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't think it'll fit.
130
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,120
Why is your fridge so full?
It's never normally that full.
131
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,680
I did a big shop.
Yeah, and I do them too, sometimes.
132
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,800
Mum, Mum. Oh, there he is.
Did you move the scissors?
133
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,480
Why? Oh, they now live in that
top drawer there.
134
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,560
Well, what... And what do you need
them for? Huh?
135
00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,560
Oh, the pot they gave me was way
too small, so I overfilled it,
136
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,200
and I need to cut off the excess.
137
00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:08,400
What do you mean?
They're kitchen scissors. Eurgh!
138
00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,840
Well, I'll wash them afterwards.
139
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,240
Wash them?
You'd have to destroy them.
140
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,800
And did you do it straight
into the pot?
141
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,720
Huh? Is that not right?
142
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,640
No. No! Dad!
You use the scoop. The scoop?
143
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,280
-Yeah.
-Like with ice cream?
144
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,200
On the lid, did you not read
the instructions?
145
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,560
What, on how to poo? No, I didn't.
146
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,000
Hmm. I just figured that you had
to fill it direct. Oh, my God.
147
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,920
But they wouldn't have given
you a little pot in that case, Dad.
148
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,520
Yeah, they'd have given
you a bucket!
149
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,240
THEY LAUGH
150
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,920
I wouldn't join in, Mum.
151
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:42,240
What, did you just curl
one out in it like a Mr Whippy?
152
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,120
Mr Whiffy, more like!
153
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,720
Oh, oh, I hope you put a flake
in it!
154
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,840
Can you stop joining in, Mum?!
155
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,400
Mr Whiffy.
156
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,840
I'm your son!
157
00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,080
Hey, Paolo, I've got to do a little
sample of my own later today.
158
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,880
A sperm one, though.
Not the...
159
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,440
What, everything all right? Yeah?
Uh, well, yeah, I hope so.
160
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,440
Dunno, just getting
the old beans checked.
161
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,480
See what's cooking down under.
162
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,640
Cherry's idea. Yeah, I like to know
what I'm dealing with.
163
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,240
Yeah. So I'm going down to
the hospital to produce.
164
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,360
Busman's holiday, really.
165
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,960
But... So, what, have you got
a little dodgy tum-tum, is it?
166
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,240
Oh, well, no, the police medical
flagged up
167
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,520
a sensitive stomach issue,
168
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,160
so I need to get it checked out
before my training starts proper.
169
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,920
You also want to get that dog
checked out and all. Yeah.
170
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,840
It's definitely got gut-rot
or something.
171
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,520
CHERRY LAUGHS
Dog?
172
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,080
Yeah. Oh, I don't...
173
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,960
That's the third time this week!
174
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,080
Can you not find out
who's dog it is?
175
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,960
Well, not by looking
at its droppings, no.
176
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,440
It's not a Chihuahua.
I'll tell you that for free.
177
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,080
I really need to catch them at it.
178
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,680
Oh! You need to get one of them
doorbell cameras.
179
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,520
Yeah. You can see everything
and you can speak through it.
180
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,960
You can tell them charity people
to piss off
181
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,400
without even opening the door.
182
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,040
It's great. It really is.
183
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,200
We could do that. No, they are,
they are really good.
184
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,680
Speaking of Monsieur Le Whippy,
185
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:57,240
have I told you
my new business proposal?
186
00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,520
Oh, no! No!
187
00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,840
Well, strap yourselves in,
boys and girls, because...
188
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,400
What is it? SAM: Are you buying
an ice-cream van?
189
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,960
I am buying an ice-cream van.
Well, don't ruin it. Yes. Ohh.
190
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,800
Well, Dean is.
I'm just angel investing,
191
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,920
you know, but we'll make a packet,
though, won't we?
192
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,560
The weather we're having at
the moment.
193
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,000
You can park it outside a school.
194
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,280
Yeah, or a Weightwatchers, you know?
Yeah, sorry.
195
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,760
You can, you can bring it
o my street fayre.
196
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,520
Oh, 125% I can, Sue. I'm there.
197
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,280
What is it, like a little sort
of festival?
198
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,800
It's mainly a way for locals
to eat cupcakes
199
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,000
and complain
about ugly loft extensions.
200
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,800
It's not great, historically.
201
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,920
Well, mine is going to be slaps.
202
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,240
Is it? Sunday the 8th at 11.
203
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,880
We've got zorbs. Keep talking.
204
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,400
A bring-and-buy sale. Right.
A main stage.
205
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,240
Oh, yeah, who's performing?
206
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,600
Well, we've got a boy from
number 26... Yeah.
207
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,720
..who's brilliant at Hula Hooping,
by all accounts.
208
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,920
OK. And a chap who can walk
on his hands.
209
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,640
Oh, right. And anyone's welcome
to come
210
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,600
and sing something
if they want. Wow.
211
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,720
Hey, you should get
Sam's girlfriend down.
212
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,840
She's a singer. Shut up, she's not
my girlfriend.
213
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,200
His what? OK.
214
00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:05,400
OK. Oh, Samuel H Jessop,
you naughty little devil.
215
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,800
Mm. That's why you've started
washing your hair.
216
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:08,840
No, it isn't.
217
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,760
Busted! Well, she's more than
welcome to pitch in.
218
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,560
You all are, actually.
219
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,920
I mean, Sammy's going to be
filming it. Yeah.
220
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,000
Paul's policing the thing,
aren't you?
221
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,960
God, is he?
Yeah, doing security.
222
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,600
Big time. Actually, I've got some
stuff I want to bring and buy.
223
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,720
As in sell. Sell?
What do you want to sell?
224
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,360
Just, I want to do a big clear-out.
225
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,160
Get rid of all my old crap
that's cluttering up my room.
226
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,840
OK. I mean, I've changed a lot
since Norway.
227
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,480
I'm sorry, where?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
228
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,520
I mean, if you're so in love
with Norway, why don't you marry it?
229
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,120
THEY LAUGH
Ow!
230
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,440
Yeah, mature, Dad.
231
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,880
What a mature thing to say.
Well, I thought it was funny.
232
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,880
Yeah. Anyone else want to
do something? Oh, Rachel?
233
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,040
No, I'm doing my essay,
Sue, so...
234
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,800
Sorry. Well, you can do something
small, though, surely. No can do.
235
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,680
No. It's not for two weeks.
236
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,800
Yeah, and you've pretty much
finished your essay,
237
00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,480
you said to me.
Yeah, no, I have.
238
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:59,960
It'll be due in on the Monday,
so it'll be done by then anyway.
239
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,160
So, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
240
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,160
Yeah, I'll do it,
if it's really easy.
241
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,800
-Oh, thanks, Rach.
-Good, that's the spirit. OK.
242
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,040
Fair play.
243
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,360
Dad, look, dog!
244
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,200
Is that...?
245
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,120
What do you think? Maybe 4,000?
246
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,720
4,500. Thank you.
247
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,760
And your names?
Annie and Marley Ruger.
248
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,760
OK. Oh, you're the Rugers.
249
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,280
Oh, yeah, great.
We'll announce the winner later.
250
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,000
Who's the closest so far, Mum?
251
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,640
Um, it's a pound a guess.
252
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,320
What? Mum, it's me.
253
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,360
Oh, my God. Sorry, Sam.
254
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,560
Sorry, what did you say?
255
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,400
How many beans are there?
256
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,720
Oh, I've no idea.
257
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,120
But do you not need to know
that to announce the winner?
258
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,560
Uh...
REMIXED ICE-CREAM VAN MUSIC PLAYS
259
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,600
Whoa! Here, move the cones,
will you, boss?
260
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,680
Come on. I'm sorry,
the road's closed.
261
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,720
Yeah, need to break in
the ice-cream van, mate.
262
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,600
Yeah, but this is a hearse.
You can't bring in a hearse.
263
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,920
Paolo, tell him.
Tell him what, Robin?
264
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,560
This is a hearse.
265
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:03,960
It's an ice-cream hearse, sure.
266
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,320
Just let us in.
The creams are melting back here.
267
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,360
Well, have you not got a fridge
or something?
268
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:11,040
No. No, just a sort of table.
For a coffin.
269
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,800
Yeah, I know what it's for, anus,
just move the cones.
270
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,360
Anus? And it took us ages to get
here as well.
271
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,200
That is sort of the problem
with a hearse
272
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,800
is you have to drive really slowly.
273
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,160
Right, yeah.
Look, you can't bring it in here.
274
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,720
People will think someone's died.
275
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,800
Well, someone will die
if I lose my creams, boy.
276
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,160
Deano, chill out it, brother.
All right. Just move the cones, Robin. Yeah, I've got it.
277
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:30,880
I've got it.
Where do you want 'em?
278
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,360
The traffic cones.
279
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,800
Yes, yes. Good thinking.
280
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,320
All right, I'm on it. I'm on it
like Wallace and Gromit.
281
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,000
Come on, then. No, no, no.
Do not manhandle the cones.
282
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,080
You're kidding me. No.
Are you kidding me? Gents.
283
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,560
This hearse remains beyond
the boundary.
284
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,240
I'll pick you up, mate.
No. ROBIN HEAVES
285
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,480
Gents, can we...?
N-O. no, no.
286
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,760
All right, fine. No. Oh.
Oh, come on. That's rid...
287
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,160
He's being a child.
288
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,040
Come on, Paolo. Give us a hand.
289
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,800
Yeah, all right,
I'll go and get Mum.
290
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,840
Not often you hear a police
officer say that. Mum!
291
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,760
Why haven't you got a van?
292
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,800
It's normally a van for ice cream.
293
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,080
Oh, is it? I didn't know that.
Well done, genius.
294
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:08,880
I mean... Let them through, Edgar.
295
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,320
Yes, you see? Thank you, Susan.
296
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,120
Yes, Sue! But it's a hearse, Sue.
297
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,080
And that one called me an anus.
298
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,520
You are an anus.
299
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,720
See, he's done it again.
Calm down, Edgar.
300
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,360
That's just Dean being Dean.
Come on, Robin.
301
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:23,320
Bring it in. I'll make you space.
302
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,560
Don't worry.
303
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,920
Sue! Sue! Off you pop, anus.
304
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,880
Sue, how many beans are there?
305
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,920
What's that, love? In here,
how many beans are there?
306
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,680
I can't say who's got the closest
guess if I don't know.
307
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,000
Oh, yes. Well, um...
308
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,720
Lots, I'd imagine. I mean,
look at the size of it!
309
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,520
Don't you know?
Did you not count them?
310
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,360
I've been run off my feet.
311
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,880
Oh, God. And it's not my stall! Oh,
Sue, don't do this to me, please!
312
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,480
Oh, God. How many are there?
Sammy, where's your girlfriend?
313
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,320
She's on next. Meant to be.
314
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,000
She's not my girlfriend, but I think
she's at the archery stall.
315
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,360
Argh!
316
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,000
So she's allowed to do archery,
but I'm not? Argh!
317
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,320
Yes. I mean, it's hardly fair
if you do it,
318
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,360
cos you'll clean them out.
319
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,560
All day long.
320
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,080
OK, Deano, bring her through.
321
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,880
Yeah, I've got this.
Deano, come on.
322
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,480
Bring her through. Ready? Yeah.
323
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,840
I mean, that's all I was going
to do anyway.
324
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,120
Are we doing it together?
325
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,160
All right. Yeah.
326
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,760
Seems fair. Yeah.
Just, I dunno what you're adding.
327
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,440
OK. And three, four.
328
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,000
# Losing control
329
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,960
# Ooh, ahh
330
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,200
# Ooh, ahh... #
KNOCK ON DOOR
331
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,280
Oh, what?
MUSIC STOPS
332
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,120
Hey.
333
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,440
Oh, hey, guys.
334
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,480
Hi. Are you all right?
335
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:36,680
Yeah, why?
336
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,240
I heard noises. Hi, Cass.
337
00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:39,480
Hi, Mr Jessop. Yeah.
338
00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:42,160
Were you listening
from the landing? No.
339
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,680
Yes, is the truth.
340
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,440
I... But also doing other things.
341
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,000
I've been tidying anyway, so...
342
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,080
I was singing.
We're making a TikTok.
343
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,600
Oh, cool. Very cool.
344
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,480
Yeah. No, Sam said you'd be
singing something
345
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,040
for the street fayre this weekend.
346
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:55,840
I think that will be super sick.
347
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,320
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
348
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,520
Sick.
349
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,800
I love music.
350
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,280
Love the Foo Fighters.
Do you like the Foo Fighters?
351
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,680
The Foos, Cass?
352
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,160
Can you go away, please?
353
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,440
Yeah, I want to.
354
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:12,240
I just, just want to check.
355
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:13,880
You guys are being careful, right?
356
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,320
What? You know, you...
357
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,040
You know the drill.
358
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,480
What drill?
359
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,280
The being...
360
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,560
Protecting yourselves
and each other.
361
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:26,960
OK, Dad, please go away.
362
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,560
This is weird. Yeah. Um, yeah.
363
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,000
Just want to say, ba ba ba ba,
364
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,680
if you need to, just, you know,
365
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,160
use these if you need to.
366
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,640
Please use these.
Oh, my God, Dad.
367
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,840
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.
368
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,360
What did you tell them?
Sorry!
369
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,040
We're not going out,
you do know that.
370
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,240
Oh, I'm sorry.
371
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,120
You're just helping me make videos.
372
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,120
I honestly don't know why
he did that.
373
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,200
Yeah, I should go. Sorry.
374
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,120
Please d...
375
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,200
Watch out for the dog poo.
376
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,880
Watch out for the dog poo.
Is that the best you've got?
377
00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:59,200
She was going to tread in it.
378
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,280
Well, it's not exactly "parting is
such sweet sorrow", is it?
379
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,040
Oh, has she gone, Sam?
380
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,680
Yep. Why has she gone?
381
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,480
Dad, do you want to answer that one?
382
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:09,040
I said I was sorry, Sam.
383
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,760
Honestly. Well, there she goes,
look. It's amazing, this thing.
384
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,280
What, you're selling
your piano stuff? Mm-hm.
385
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,160
Well, don't sell the bumblebee hat.
386
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,120
I've got pictures
of you in the bumblebee hat.
387
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,000
Yeah, well, I got a new one from
Norway that's newer, so...
388
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,400
And I never play my keyboard
any more, do I? Coming through.
389
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,680
Oh, wow.
What are you watching?
390
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,960
Paul? Huh? Oh, the doorbell.
391
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,680
What, The Doorbell?
Was that on Netflix or something?
392
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,520
No, it's our actual doorbell.
We've just got a camera one.
393
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,360
He watches it like
it's a really boring film.
394
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,400
Yeah, well, it's better than
Avatar: Way Of Water,
395
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,840
I can tell you that for free. OK.
396
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,680
I'm just keeping an eye
on the driveway.
397
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,400
Why did you say wow just now? Hmm?
398
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,600
Oh, a big lorry went by.
399
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,920
Um, is this chutney?
400
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,520
Chutney? No!
401
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,200
Chutney doesn't live in the fridge.
402
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,040
No, that's Paul's sample.
403
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,560
Oh, eurgh!
God, Dad, that's disgusting!
404
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,880
It's next to all the food!
I didn't put it there!
405
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,760
I didn't put it there!
Oh... Oh, Mum!
406
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:03,600
-What?
-I've been looking for that.
407
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,160
I need to take it to the hospital.
408
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,240
Well, I put it in the fridge
to keep it fresh.
409
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,560
I'm not sure it was ever fresh.
Yeah, it's gone off now.
410
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,200
I'm going to have to refill it
later, when I need to.
411
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,600
Ohh. Do keep us posted.
412
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,280
The sample has been compromised.
413
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:20,440
Oh, dear. You've not written much
of your dealing with stress essay,
414
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,480
have you, Rachel?
I know. I know.
415
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,560
It's almost as if putting the laptop
on a stand
416
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,000
made absolutely no difference
at all.
417
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,040
Oh, yeah, no thanks.
Thanks for pointing that out, Sue.
418
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,960
No, it's fine.
Once I crack the intro,
419
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,400
it'll all just flow out of me. Mm.
420
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,360
I can't find some of my notes,
which has slowed me down a bit.
421
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,880
Oh, I tidied them.
422
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,840
Ooh, Robin and Cherry are here.
423
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,480
I can see them on the camera.
424
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:44,240
Now, papers and folders and things
now live up here.
425
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,360
Look, Rachel. It's not...
426
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,280
Live just means you've put
them there, Sue.
427
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,560
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
428
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,520
Hello. How do you do that?
429
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,520
We haven't even rung
the doorbell yet. Aha!
430
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,720
We got one of those
doorbell cameras.
431
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,000
Oh! Yes.
432
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,600
Love it. Yes!
Oh, look, look, Sam.
433
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,560
Yes, the dog's been. Yes!
Yeah, he has. Is that good news?
434
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,480
He has. Yes, it is.
Welcome to my web,
435
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,320
said the spider to the fly.
I have you now!
436
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,000
I have you now. OK. Right.
437
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,240
Not you. Not you, madam.
438
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,240
All right, Spielberg?
All right. Not you.
439
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,160
Hello, all! Sorry to barge in.
440
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,760
Just need to reclaim
the Methuselah, if I may. Oh, OK.
441
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:25,240
Where is it? Have you found
somewhere to chill it, then?
442
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,840
Aha! Maybe. Right, Kaye's brother
works at Currys. Oh!
443
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,480
So he is going to try and pop
it in one of the big fridges there
444
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,240
on the sly. Ding-dong! Ding...
445
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,960
Stop. I've asked you to stop
doing that.
446
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,440
I know, I just miss doing it.
447
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,240
Your ice-cream van will have
a big fridge in it, won't it, Robin?
448
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,600
It, it... Well, hmm, it would, yes,
449
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,000
but we're actually struggling to get
hold of a proper van at the moment,
450
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,440
so we might have to make
do with a, you know, car. Yeah.
451
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,080
An ice-cream car?
452
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,920
Yeah. I mean, that's all
right, innit?
453
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,680
Is it all right for two men
to cruise around in a car looking
454
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,760
for children to give ice cream to?
455
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,640
You think it'd look creepy?
I do, yeah.
456
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,360
Definitely. That is true.
457
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:13,200
Oh, I can see that now. It does have
to be some sort of van, don't it?
458
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,920
I can see that now. Oh, not, like,
not a normal car. Yeah.
459
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,080
Yeah, not a Vauxhall Astra,
put it that way. No.
460
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:22,600
Sam, Sam, how do I watch the footage
from last night on the doorbell?
461
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,200
You found it, yet, Sam?
Yeah, hang on.
462
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,960
I'm just going through the footage.
463
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,120
I feel like
I'm going mad.
464
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,360
Why are you whispering and why
are we talking out here?
465
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,800
Because Sam will film us when we set
foot inside the house.
466
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:36,920
OK, fair enough.
467
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,880
What's the problem?
Your mother is the problem.
468
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,240
I can't take it.
469
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,600
Being friends with the neighbours,
constant cleaning,
470
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,800
the putting things away.
471
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,800
Do you mean the house being clean
and tidy for the first time ever?
472
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,040
Yeah. Which is fine and good.
I'm not being ungrateful.
473
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:51,440
It's just she's doing everything.
It's like I've been replaced.
474
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,840
I wouldn't be surprised if
she started sleeping next to you
475
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,320
and trying to breast-feed Sam.
Don't be ridiculous. Well...
476
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,960
I have to say something.
Please don't.
477
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,600
It will really upset her, Rach.
Please.
478
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,760
Well, can you at least
have that talk with Sam?
479
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,360
Cass is in his room right now.
480
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:09,920
Yes. Yes, I will. I know. Yeah.
481
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,400
Relax. I've got this, babe.
482
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,440
You know, I'm really good
in these situations...
483
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,080
Hurry up, Sam, I need my laptop.
484
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,720
Yeah, sorry. I'm just,
I'm going through the footage.
485
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,800
I'll be two seconds.
486
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,240
Oh, hang on.
487
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,920
What? Sam, what is it?
488
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,760
I think I've got something.
489
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:29,960
Really? Yeah.
490
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,760
Someone at 5:30am.
491
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,880
Ha-ha! That'll be it!
492
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,520
OK. Come on. Let's see the perp.
493
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,080
Perpetrator.
494
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,600
No, it can't be them, look.
They've not got a dog.
495
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,440
Well, hang on, hang on, hang on.
496
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,040
Oh, my God.
497
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,960
They're emptying the bag.
498
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,480
The dog didn't even do it there!
499
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,040
No!
500
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,040
What the hell is going on?!
501
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:55,160
I mean, that's like terrorism,
in a way. Oh, my God.
502
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,720
Who is it? You can't really tell.
503
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,520
Wow, look at them go. Enhance.
504
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,280
Can you enhance?
I'll try and zoom in.
505
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,840
Hang on. Yeah.
506
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:04,840
Someone in a blue hat.
507
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,520
Wow.
508
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,120
That's the last blue hat
they'll ever wear.
509
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,960
Dad, blue hat!
510
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,040
Wow.
511
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,400
It's all melting!
512
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,120
Melt in the mouth, sure.
513
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,280
That's already melted,
before the mouth.
514
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,960
Why do you care about it so much?
515
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,800
Because we got it together.
516
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,240
Well, yeah, but that's OK, isn't it?
I mean, I was the one who bought it.
517
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,560
Well, no, no, it's not OK.
518
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,640
Just cause it didn't happen
in Norway doesn't mean
519
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,560
it's not worth remembering.
I'm not saying that. I'm...
520
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,480
Sorry, OK. You're right.
I'll keep it.
521
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,280
Sorry. This isn't for sale.
522
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,520
Thank you. Sorry about that.
523
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,240
And I really do love that bag.
524
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,920
Yeah.
525
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,560
No.
526
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,120
Me too, actually.
527
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,000
Sorry, can I just grab that?
528
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,160
I've decided to keep it.
529
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,680
Do you want a hand, Rach,
or is it not that kind of thing?
530
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,920
I'm just counting beans, Robin,
so I can't really talk.
531
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,400
Well, speaking of which,
532
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,520
I just got my bean count back
from the lab.
533
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,840
OK. Uh-oh. If you're interested.
Oh, what is it?
534
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,320
It's my...my sample.
535
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,640
Oh. The old Count Spermula.
536
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,520
Sperm count.
537
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,760
It's... No, it's not ideal,
truth be told.
538
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,360
Not as many as you'd like
539
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,720
of the old little fellas.
540
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,440
I blame the cycling.
Oh, do you?
541
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,800
I mean, I'm beating
the jar, I reckon,
542
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,360
bean for bean, but...
543
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,520
Well, it's tight, actually.
How many are in there?
544
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,880
I'm trying to find out, Robin.
Can you stop talking about your sperm?
545
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:54,400
Sorry. It's really not helping.
Yeah, it's just so acidic.
546
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,960
Oh... Nothing wrong with
the agglutination.
547
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,440
Agglutination is absolutely...
548
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,080
That's flying off the charts.
549
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,840
But I think, if anything, that's
what's making them sluggish.
550
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,240
Sam, have you seen my harp?
What? What do you mean?
551
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,480
Well, someone's bought her harp.
552
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,640
Surely that's a good thing.
No, I want it back.
553
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,520
I'm keeping it. All of it.
554
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,600
I've decided, for now.
555
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,160
What about all the Norway stuff?
It's going in the loft.
556
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,200
The Viking invasion
has been defeated.
557
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:20,080
Well, Cass is about to start
and I've got to film it, so go away.
558
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,160
Right, helpful.
559
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,560
APPLAUSE
560
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,120
Thank you, Uno.
561
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,440
There he goes.
On his feet this time. PAUL: Ha-ha.
562
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:43,360
And now, a very talented
young singer and lady,
563
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,760
the wonderful Cass!
564
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,200
Go, Cass!
565
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,800
APPLAUSE
566
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,920
All right, Pin Oak Court
street fayre. Let me hear you!
567
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,000
Yeah!
568
00:21:56,080 --> 00:22:00,920
# Ooh, ah, losing control
569
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,040
# Heart's racing fast
570
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:05,040
# Neon lights
Hoping they last...
571
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,000
Huh?
# Lips shining...
572
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,200
Dad! Dad! What?
573
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,720
Look, Dad!
574
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,880
Huh? Look!
575
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:13,920
Blue hat!
576
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,840
# Here to stay,
here to stay now... #
577
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,920
Edgar? Yeah.
578
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,200
It was Edgar all along.
579
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,800
He's Keyser Soze.
580
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:27,320
Who? Who's that? Edgar.
581
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,880
No, Dad, don't confront him now.
582
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,120
OK. God.
583
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,400
You put poo on my drive.
No, I didn't.
584
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,000
Don't you dare deny it.
I know it was you.
585
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,240
I've got proof.
586
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:41,000
You emptied dog waste outside
our house wearing that hat.
587
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,600
EDGAR LAUGHS
Where are you going?
588
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,680
Come back here, please.
589
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,600
What are you doing?
Edgar, no. Unhand me.
590
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,680
No. Rachel, tell him to unhand me.
591
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,920
I'm counting, Edgar.
Please don't talk to me!
592
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,760
I don't know what
you're talking about.
593
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,520
Now, if you'll just let me go.
594
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,320
OK, OK. Thank you.
595
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,520
You leave me no option.
596
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,040
What does that mean?
597
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:02,960
I'm arresting you for placing
dog faeces on my drive.
598
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,360
You can't arrest me.
You're not a policeman.
599
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,760
Yet. I'm about to do the training.
600
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,480
So you can't arrest me YET.
OK, then.
601
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,200
It's a citiz-iz-en's arrest, then.
Citizen's.
602
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,080
You are hereby
under citizen's arrest.
603
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,480
You do not have to say anything,
604
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,520
but anything you do say will be
taken down in evidence.
605
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,440
That's not right, is it?
OK, now what?
606
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,760
What? What do you mean?
607
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,400
Well, now I'm under
citizen's arrest, what happens next?
608
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,640
Do you get your citizen's
police car to take me
609
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,000
to the citizen's police station?
610
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,800
Well, I dunno.
611
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,200
Perhaps I'll citizen's arrest
you back.
612
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,240
Well, that's not a thing, is it?
613
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,280
I dunno. To counteract
your citizen's arrest.
614
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:45,640
Well, that can't be right.
615
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,560
I'm going to google
citizen's arrest, hang on.
616
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,360
Oh, God. I mean, it's frankly
a load of rot.
617
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,320
Well... Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got zorbs to inflate.
618
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,240
No, no, no, no, no! Hey, hey! You're
going nowhere, sunshine.
619
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,480
Ah! The table, the table.
No, no, no, no!
620
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,840
What's all this hoo-ha?
621
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,560
Do not kettle me. OK? Just admit it.
622
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:02,760
No, the beans, Paul!
623
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,440
Just admit that you put dog poo
on my driveway.
624
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,160
It was not your driveway,
625
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,720
it was hers!
626
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,480
What? Me?
627
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,240
You've got nothing to do with it.
628
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:15,960
Yes, you!
629
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:20,760
Coming here, taking over
the residents' association,
630
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,960
the street fayre, everything.
631
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,840
It's like a bloody coup.
632
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,840
A Sue-coup!
633
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,880
I put it on HER drive.
634
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,920
Well, that is OUR drive!
She lives with us.
635
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,840
Well, I didn't know that!
636
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,080
I didn't even know you lived
in this street.
637
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,040
We've lived here for 15 years.
638
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,440
Do you even own a dog?
My brother has a chow-chow
639
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,480
called Dominic.
He supplied the poo in the bags.
640
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,600
Ah, the perfect crime.
641
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,360
Now, if you'd just kindly... Ah!
642
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,480
Ah! I didn't touch him. Oh, God, it
was the beans. I didn't touch him.
643
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,360
He slipped on the beans!
Hell's bells, my back!
644
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,800
OK, I've got you. I've got you.
645
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,680
No, don't lift me.
I've got a herniated disk. Oh.
646
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,200
Get the stretcher.
647
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:00,560
I didn't hire a stretcher!
648
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,880
OK, it's all right,
Sue, I can get him home.
649
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,600
Just bear with me a sec. Uh...
Deano!
650
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,240
Sam, what the hell are you doing?
651
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,640
You're meant to be filming me,
not whatever that is.
652
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,280
I'm really sorry. That's, like,
the only reason I'm doing this,
653
00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:13,760
you selfish knob.
654
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:15,920
You're dumped. What?
655
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,880
But I thought we weren't even
going out.
656
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,080
We weren't.
657
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,680
OK, I'm really confused.
Sorry for...
658
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,000
I can film it now if you want to
do it again? Cass!
659
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,040
Well, you deserve that,
you anus.
660
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,480
Ow, careful of my feet!
All right, all right.
661
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,480
Load him in. Load him in.
662
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,280
Slide, slide.
663
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,080
That's it.
664
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,840
Oh, God, this is hateful. OK.
665
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,920
There we go. Job's a good 'un.
666
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,480
What is it, hospital, is it,
or home?
667
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,120
Just take me straight to the morgue,
why don't you?
668
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,920
Hi, excuse me, sorry,
I just want that back.
669
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,760
Here's your refund.
Thank you. Sorry!
670
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:50,760
ICE-CREAM VAN MUSIC PLAYS
Ah! Turn it down!
671
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,440
My head's by the speaker.
672
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:53,760
Oh, chill out, anus.
673
00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:59,640
3,821, 3,822, 3,833.
674
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,840
I am sorry about all this.
675
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,600
What? What do you mean?
676
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:11,280
The beans, the tidying, everything.
677
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:18,640
I know I can be a bit,
like Edgar said, interfering.
678
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,400
No, Sue, don't pay any attention
to Edgar. Of course you're not.
679
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,760
You would tell me, wouldn't you,
if I was overdoing it?
680
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:28,360
Yes.
681
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,440
Um...
682
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,040
Sue, we all feel very lucky
to have you here.
683
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:38,400
Your interference is only
a good thing.
684
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,480
I promise.
685
00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:43,200
Although having said that,
686
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,800
I have now forgotten what number
I was on.
687
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,680
Oh, I'll do this. I like counting.
688
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,600
Oh, are you sure? You do need to do
your essay at some point.
689
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,640
Yes, no, I know that, Sam!
I know that.
690
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:54,960
I just don't want to.
691
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:56,600
And please, can you stop filming me?
692
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,800
Because it's really not helping.
OK, chill.
693
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,400
I can have a look, if you like.
694
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,560
Oh, oh, God, Maya, really?
You sure you don't mind?
695
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,280
Yeah, I've got time to kill while
Amy's boxing up her Norway crap.
696
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:07,720
Thank you!
697
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,880
OK, so I need 4,000 words.
698
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,760
Right, what have you got so far?
699
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,000
Hey, dude.
700
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,040
Sorry about your...
701
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:20,840
..not girlfriend, but Cass.
702
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:22,720
Right. Yeah.
703
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,440
You can probably have
the condoms back.
704
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,400
PAUL CHUCKLES
Don't need them now.
705
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,600
Anyway, she wasn't very nice
to me, so...
706
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,160
Oh, I know.
707
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:31,800
I know.
708
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,760
You can do way better than her,
mate, you know?
709
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,480
Come here.
710
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:40,120
Oh! Oh, don't hug me
while you've got your pot!
711
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,880
Why have you got that?
712
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,960
Oh, yeah, sorry. Um...
713
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,320
There's one last thing
we need to do.
714
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,400
Stay low, Sam.
715
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,680
Stay low, stay low.
716
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:54,480
I mean, this is horrible.
717
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,120
It's justice, Sam.
718
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,440
See how he likes it.
719
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,280
At least his was from a dog.
720
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:00,960
What number is Edgar again?
721
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,280
53. Right.
722
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:03,720
Well, this is 51.
723
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,000
It... What?
724
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,920
You have to pick it up, Dad.
725
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,600
You can't leave poo on some random
person's driveway!
726
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,920
How is that justice?
727
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,440
I know, I'm thinking!
728
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,360
Wait, oh, my God! What?
729
00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,480
Oh, they've got a doorbell camera.
730
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,320
Run, Sam, run!
731
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,200
Ah! Come on, Sam!
732
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:25,760
# Mm-mm, ah
733
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,800
# Losing control
Close to the edge
734
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,360
# Close to the edge
Losing control
735
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,000
# Losing control
Your touch is the fire
736
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,480
# Your touch is the fire
Igniting my soul
737
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,240
# Igniting my soul
Close to the edge
738
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,680
# Close to the edge
Losing control
739
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,320
# Losing control
Your touch is the fire
740
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,920
# Your touch is the fire
Igniting my soul
741
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,600
# Igniting my soul. #
55784
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