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MUSIC: California Soul
by Marlena Shaw
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This programme contains
strong language from the start.
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Fabulous.
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00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,640
Here I am!
5
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Ready to take on this goddamn town!
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And ready to take on the worl...
Hey.
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What have YOU come as?
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# It's all in the air
You hear it everywhere
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# No matter what you do
It's gonna grab a hold on you... #
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Oi!
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Ooh!
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00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,400
Woo!
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00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,720
Bolton, baby! I'm back!
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00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,680
Shit! Where's my suitcase?!
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# Like a sound you hear
That lingers in your ear
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# Ohh... #
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Shit, it's this way.
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Oh, thank God.
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Oh.
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I've got it.
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Oh, right.
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00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,880
Fabulous.
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Right...
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SHE GRUNTS
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Uh...
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Buh-buh-buh.
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Right...
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God...
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SHE SIGHS
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Hello-o-o-o!
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Aha! Rob.
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Hey.
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Brenda. She needs a bit of TLC.
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Man, that is fucked.
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00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,160
What did you do to it?
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I might've left her
outside a pub for six months.
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CLATTER
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Yeah. You're going
to have to chuck it.
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00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,520
Oh, poor Brenda.
40
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I've had her years.
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00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,800
But, do you know, this is good?
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00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,760
Because the thing is,
just cos I'm coming back
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doesn't mean
I'm going backWARDS. Yeah.
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New bike, new me.
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00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,880
It's time to say goodbye to Brenda.
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Right, I need something cheap,
practical, lightweight...
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ENGINE ROARS, SHE SQUEALS
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I'm back, Bolton!
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Oh!
EXCITED SQUEALING
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THEY WHOOP AND SQUEAL
51
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Oh-h-h!
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THEY WHOOP
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BOTH: Ooooh!
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Oh! Oh!
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Aww! Aw! Aw!
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Oh, bloody hell.
57
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,120
What the bloody hell is that?!
58
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That's Julie.
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After Walters.
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She's fabulous!
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What are you like? Come on, you.
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DOOR CLOSES
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00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,880
You been on the wine?
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00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,000
You look knackered.
It's not the wine -
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it's the sulphates IN the wine.
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00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,960
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hiya, Jim, are you all right?
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He's very good.
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00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,720
Look at him, look how
he's flourishing,
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00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,880
with my love and support,
since your mother left.
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You see that pale jaundice look
he had when he first got here?
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It's almost gone. Mm.
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Spam.
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00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,720
Oh, no, it's doing him
the world of good.
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00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,680
I told you it was healing, didn't I?
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We're actually very compatible
living companions.
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00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,000
You see, it's not like living
with a man with Jim.
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It's more like living with a cat.
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You know, he doesn't speak
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and he just flops around
on different bits of furniture.
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00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,520
Spam sandwich?
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00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,960
No. Never.
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00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,400
I've made you one.
I said I didn't want one.
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QUIETLY:
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Alma, you've got to help me.
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What, er...what do you mean?
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I'm trapped. Eh?
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She won't let me call your mam,
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00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,040
I'm not even allowed to use
me own kettle.
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00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,000
Give this letter to your mum
when you see her.
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OK.
What are you two wittering about?
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00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:43,600
Nothing.
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00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,440
Aww, thank you. Mm-hm. Bleurgh!
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00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,120
Can I pinch a fag?
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No, you can't.
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I've quit. I puff on these now.
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00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,440
Eh?
97
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,400
You get the same catharsis as a fag,
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00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,320
with no harm and a fun little noise.
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00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,800
TOOT!
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00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,200
That's too ridiculous.
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00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,480
Oh...
102
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,520
So, come on, then, how was it?
103
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,440
I'm not going to say this
to Grandma,
104
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:06,040
but the tour was shite.
105
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,480
Thespians
are actually quite irritating.
106
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,920
VOCAL EXERCISES
107
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,920
They treat their vocal cords
like pets,
108
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,320
and are the kind of people
who can eat half a KitKat
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00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,000
and save the other half for later.
110
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,960
For a posh theatre company,
getting in diverse talent
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00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,840
can be quite useful.
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00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,000
And my staring role
in this mighty production...?
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00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,840
Tree number two.
114
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,160
In the silent forest of diversity.
115
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,960
So, on the night
they invited a load of agents,
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00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,400
I went for it.
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00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,040
The wind whistled in the trees.
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00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,520
SHE WHISTLES
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To be fair,
I was a fucking fabulous tree!
120
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,480
That last show we did
was packed full of agents.
121
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:52,960
I'm telling you now, come Monday,
122
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,680
my phone's going to be ringing
off the hook.
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00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,400
Bring-bring. Bring-bring.
124
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,360
TOOT-TOOT!
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Woo!
126
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,680
# Hey, can you feel it?
127
00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,600
# The way it sways you
128
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,080
# The hum in your chest
129
00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,720
# You make my feet move
130
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,400
# You turn my head loose
131
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:14,160
# That's why I love you the best. #
132
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,120
SHE SNAPS FINGERS RHYTHMICALLY
133
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,720
Sorry to bother you again, Claire.
134
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,640
I'm just very aware, er,
that my visit was at 10am
135
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,440
and it's now 10:45. Well,
they said they'd be here soonish.
136
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,960
Just take a seat.
137
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,800
Right. Yes. Take a seat.
138
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,760
Yeah.
139
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,800
The thing is, I'm just not really
a sitter like that,
140
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,000
do you know what I mean?
141
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,080
I'm more of a bobber-up-and-down,
a mover-and-shaker.
142
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,520
I've never been a....
143
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,760
You know, some people can just...
144
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,800
Not me. I've never been.
145
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:43,920
But, yes.
146
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,960
I did try and meditate once.
147
00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,280
A disaster.
148
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,160
Never try and relax -
it's very stressful.
149
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,720
DOOR BEEPS
150
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,320
Alma for Lin Nuttal.
151
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,480
Oh, thank God, yes.
152
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,840
Fabulous. Follow me. Yeah.
Thank you.
153
00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,280
Thank you, Claire.
154
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,000
What's YOUR name?
155
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,360
And I've just never been able to
relax. I really haven't.
156
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,720
I think that's probably why I smoke
because I can't sit still.
157
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,640
I can actually watch the telly
stood up.
158
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,880
My whole family are the same.
Very fidgety people.
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00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,320
We do not relax.
160
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:16,240
Do you know,
I took E in my 20s?
161
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,560
And it had a surprisingly
mellowing impact on me.
162
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,320
It was like Ritalin for me,
Michelle, honestly, it was fabulous.
163
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,800
I think it's because everybody's
chemically different, aren't they?
164
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,360
But I have a very unusual reaction
to milk.
165
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,920
It's like essential oils -
we're all drawn to different ones.
166
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,160
You know, if you sniff
an essential oil,
167
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,040
the one that draws you in
is the one for you.
168
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,560
I'm a eucalyptus girl.
169
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,200
But who are you, Michelle?
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00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,600
Anyway, do you know what?
I'm babbling on at you, aren't I?
171
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,280
Am I? I've enjoyed our chat.
172
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,440
Oh, well, you have a sniff
of some essential oils,
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00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,960
I'll be intrigued, Michelle,
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00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,320
to find out what's your thang.
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00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,960
Thank you.
176
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,560
Hello, Mum!
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00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,640
Oh, you're back, are you?!
178
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,480
Welcome to the guinea pig
fucking farm.
179
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,320
The guinea pig you have selected
today is not in the mood to play
180
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,400
cos she's too busy gnawing her arm
181
00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,280
and the wire cage
that she has found herself in.
182
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:10,680
I'm a hamster on a wheel.
183
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,360
Ooh, in her own habitat!
184
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,520
Watch the little hamster running
round on her little wheel.
185
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:21,480
And maybe then feed a seed through
an old toilet roll tube...
186
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,160
Because my mum did a runner
from Grandma's,
187
00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,720
breaking her hospital order,
188
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,040
she was arrested and ended up
on a medium-secure ward.
189
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,320
I'm not supposed to be here!
I'm sane!
190
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:34,080
I'm sane as a fucking goose,
for fuck's sake!
191
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,760
She's not the only one
who shouldn't be there.
192
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:40,080
There's the lovely young Goth, whose
only crime was hurting herself,
193
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,120
Mad Sue, who I hear had started
stealing people's cats
194
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,840
and pretending they were her own,
195
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,400
and a woman called Kenny,
196
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:47,960
who wears a bob hat all year round
197
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,760
and has a penchant for throwing
cold baked beans at people.
198
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,200
Mum was considered well enough
to leave -
199
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,680
as long as they could find her
somewhere to go.
200
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,640
Which they didn't.
201
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,120
So here she is.
202
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,120
So you can keep your emotional
willow balls
203
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,680
and your happy fucking
hay of abandonment!
204
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,960
Well, it's nice to see you too, Mum.
205
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,880
Right, I've got your bits -
206
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,320
I've got your sage, your thyme.
207
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,240
I couldn't get frogs' legs.
208
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,720
Er, so I got you anchovies.
209
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,960
Oh. I mean, what do you want
all this stuff for anyway?
210
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,000
I've got very into witchcraft.
211
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,240
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
212
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,240
Oh, that feels healthy.
213
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,120
You know you're banned
from all that.
214
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,520
What do you mean, banned?
215
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:34,200
Some people are very intimidated
by my cosmic power, Alma.
216
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,480
Right.
217
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,080
And what does that mean?
218
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,720
Turns out, Mum was trying to
cast a spell on a support worker.
219
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,080
It wasn't Mum's cosmic power
they were scared of -
220
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,800
more a convicted arsonist
with a lighter.
221
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,480
DOOR BURSTS OPEN
222
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,360
Next minute, she's
in the restraint position
223
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,880
and the staff had called the police.
224
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,720
You can't have this.
225
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,320
Eh? Why?
226
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,320
What's wrong with a plant
for her room?
227
00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,760
Health and safety.
228
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,560
How's a domestic plant
a health and safety risk?
229
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,680
It's just hospital policy.
230
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:08,160
They can hide a lot of cruelty
behind the word policy, Alma.
231
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,760
Don't worry.
232
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,200
I'll get her later.
233
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,400
Well, that feels sensible.
234
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,640
Hey, I've got a letter from Jim
for you. Oh!
235
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,720
Right, so, what's the plan?
How are you getting me out of here?
236
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,280
Mum, I can't just get you out,
can I? It's a process.
237
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,280
And you just need to focus
on getting well.
238
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,680
This isn't a place to get better,
Alma.
239
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,760
This is a place to get worse.
240
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,880
I'm scared, Alma.
241
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,320
I never know what's going to happen
next here.
242
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,760
And the staff...
243
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,880
Well, let's just focus
on the positives, yeah?
244
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,640
I mean, your unescorted leave
starts on Friday,
245
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,040
so I'm thinking we hit
the charity shops...
246
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,200
Ooh, wippy fucking doodah!
247
00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,720
I can leave the ward for an hour
without a baby-sitter!
248
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,600
I can get as far
as the charity shop! Ooh!
249
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:07,400
And then I mince back with my sad
little bag of second-hand trinkets,
250
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,280
just to get them confiscated.
251
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,840
This is for you.
252
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,760
It were Mad Sue's
but she's got too fat for it.
253
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,040
She tried to charge me a tenner
for it.
254
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,880
I said "Sue, you're a beast and
you're never getting out of here,
255
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,680
"I'll take it off your hands
as a favour."
256
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,320
Yeah? Mm...
257
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,680
Nah.
258
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,920
It actually looked better on Sue.
259
00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,120
Oh.
260
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,720
Right...
261
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,240
Come on, agents...
262
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,560
Ring.
263
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:01,280
What would you do, Julie?
264
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,240
Right.
265
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,400
OK.
266
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,800
RINGING TONE
267
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,600
Oh, hello there! Er, hi.
268
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,320
My name's Alma. You actually came
to see me in a play on Friday.
269
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,760
RINGING TONE
270
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,000
Oh, hello, you came to see me
in a play.
271
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,640
I was the tree.
272
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,920
The...the tree?
273
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,360
Yeah, we were right at the back
to the left.
274
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:26,240
Well, it's stage right, in't it?
But we were right there.
275
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,880
Yes, I was the tree.
276
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,720
Yeah, no, there were trees.
277
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,040
No, I understand it wasn't a
speaking part
278
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:34,960
but it was actually very,
very physical.
279
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,720
Yeah, it was VERY physical.
280
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,320
I was knackered.
281
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:42,480
No, I didn't have any words,
but I-I did whistle, actually -
282
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,720
very well.
283
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,840
You probably don't remember
the forest
284
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,120
because we were doing so well
as trees -
285
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,080
but we were there.
286
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,520
Hello?
287
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,840
Oh, great...
288
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,320
Luckily, I've got another vocation
to fall back on.
289
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,280
SLOW, FUNKY MUSIC
290
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,600
Well, that's why you don't make
your own glory hole -
291
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,040
it's dangerous.
292
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,280
Mm.
293
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,280
I'll call you back, Pete.
294
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,720
Ruby, is it? It is.
295
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,920
Thank you for seeing me.
Well, I'm only seeing you
296
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,040
to tell you it's a big no. Oh!
297
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,440
It's a small little industry, doll.
298
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,040
And you're blacklisted.
299
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,560
Am I?! Why?
300
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,520
Well my old pal Rayray says
301
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,200
you're unreliable,
302
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,680
unprofessional,
303
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,800
you compared one client to a pug,
304
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,400
you regularly ate two puddings
on a dinner date.
305
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,840
Is that bad, is it? You arrived
late, on a bicycle,
306
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,920
to see a client more than once.
307
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,680
You therapized several clients,
308
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,000
to the point where they dealt with
their mother issues
309
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,400
and didn't come back.
310
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,440
And do you remember
your resignation?
311
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,200
Take me off your books and
forget you ever knew me, Rayray!
312
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,640
I'm off to become a star.
313
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,760
And if you DO try and sell my story
to the press, I will sue.
314
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:53,960
Adios!
315
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,120
So it's a no, isn't it?
316
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,880
Definitely.
317
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,160
Yeah. OK. Well, thank you very much.
318
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:04,560
Bye. See ya.
319
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:10,360
# Waaaaaaa!
Be whoever you wanna be
320
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,720
# Do whatever you wanna do
321
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,960
# Be whoever you wanna be
322
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,320
# I'll be there with you
323
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:19,640
# Be whoever you wanna be. #
324
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,640
Oh, my God, she's back!
And she's got new wheels!
325
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,360
THEY SQUEAL EXCITEDLY
326
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,160
BOTH: Aww!
327
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,320
THEY BABBLE
328
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,320
BOTH: Oooh, ooh!
329
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,200
Woo! Woo!
330
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,080
Uh-uh-uh-uh, ooh-ooh-ooh.
331
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,720
Ishka manda! Ooh!
332
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,880
Bill, get us some Cheeky Vimtos
and bring 'em to the office.
333
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,960
Office?! Hoo-hoo! Woo!
334
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,080
Oh, God. Oh, my God. Fabulous.
335
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,320
This is incredible. I know.
336
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,280
Who knew a vajazzled lorry that
served Cheeky Vimtos
337
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,240
was what Bolton was calling for?
You did.
338
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,680
A lot's happened to Leanne
since I left.
339
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,800
She read an eye-opening book...
340
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,000
LEANNE GASPS
341
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000
The existence of my clitoris
IS proof that God loves me.
342
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,880
..then started saying things like...
343
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,280
There are so many people
in the world that I want to meet
344
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,520
and sleep with,
why should I settle for one?
345
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,080
I'm not a slut.
I'm an anthropologist, Alma!
346
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,280
Monogamy's like a human tattoo.
347
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,520
I don't want a human tattoo.
348
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,680
You're supposed to love one person
until they cheat,
349
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,240
die or join a cult.
350
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,200
Why?! Then one day...
351
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,200
We didn't like this old milk,
did we?
352
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,640
Shall we try another?
353
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,520
She walked out of her Friday
big shop
354
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,160
and never came back.
355
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,520
She found herself on some VERY wild
adventures.
356
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:44,200
And in a game of strip poker
one night...
357
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,880
..she won herself a lorry...
358
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,240
Lush.
359
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,560
..did it up...
360
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,720
..and turned it into the
most fabulous hot-spot in town.
361
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,400
Which wasn't great for Bill.
362
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,840
He works for HER now.
363
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,360
Oh, it's nonstop, though.
364
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,800
Nonstop?! I haven't seen you
bloody start yet.
365
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,960
She's just prancing around
with these bloody things.
366
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,040
Back to the sandwiches! Yes, boss.
367
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,640
Cheers.
368
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:09,960
Cheers.
369
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,640
So what's going on with you, then?
370
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,200
Well, er, I've blown all my money
on a moped - fabulous, though.
371
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,480
And I'm so unemployable that I can't
even get a job as a prostitute.
372
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,600
But I will not be defeated, Leanne!
373
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,680
I didn't want to work
as a prostitute anyway.
374
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,400
The night shifts are too much,
375
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,560
the dayshifts are too weird.
376
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,480
Any man who needs to shag
a prostitute on his lunch break
377
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,160
is not somebody you want to get
involved with, trust me.
378
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,680
I'm fucking glad you're back.
379
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,280
I'm glad I'm back. Cheers
380
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,520
HORN BLASTS
381
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:37,520
Woo!
382
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,040
HORN BLASTS
383
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,160
I do need to get a job, though.
Mm-hm. Mm.
384
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,120
Right, now, everybody, do this.
385
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,480
And you've got to streamline
your lives.
386
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,560
Just try your best. That's it.
387
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,240
If you can. That's good.
388
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,320
You're doing very well there.
That's it.
389
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,280
Really let go of
all your inhibitions...
390
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,960
Hello, everyone!
391
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,840
Hello, Alma! Oh!
392
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,480
Listen, this is just a flying visit
from me, post-tour.
393
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,040
I can't stop. I've just come to
offer my skills
394
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,520
as a professional actor. To Ian.
395
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,680
I was thinking maybe
I could be his assistant or...
396
00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,120
Where is Ian?
397
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,880
He's in Las Vegas.
398
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,760
Eh? Didn't you hear?
399
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:17,600
He did an angry video
about his ex-wife online.
400
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,000
And everybody thought
it was a sketch.
401
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,360
Got retweeted by LADbible.
402
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,320
Oh? Then there was the podcast,
Funny Angry Men,
403
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,000
he did a stand-up tour,
404
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,720
then, hey pesto.
405
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:31,200
Now he's an international
stand-up comedy star.
406
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,600
Wow.
407
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,200
Blimey.
408
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,080
All that in six months?
409
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,160
That's the power of LADbible.
410
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,560
Mm.
411
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,520
Do YOU need an assistant, Lesley?
412
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,040
Oh, um...
413
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,240
Hey.
414
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,640
Oh.
415
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:50,840
Brian.
416
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,800
Great.
417
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,280
Aw.
418
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,040
SHE SIGHS
419
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,560
Ugh.
420
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,320
Dedicated Monkey Talent...?
421
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:17,240
# One day, you're gonna have
to go on with it
422
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,360
# You're gonna have to live on
with it... #
423
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,000
Hello. Sorry.
424
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,000
Can I get two lots of chips, up
here, please.
425
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,840
Er, I'm looking for
Dedicated Monkey Talent.
426
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,160
Dave? Yeah.
427
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,040
Yeah, he's through the back.
428
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,520
Through the back?
429
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,920
Right, OK. OK, thanks.
430
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,440
Hello. Sorry.
431
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,640
Can I get two lots of chips here?
432
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,960
He's the best magician
this side of the Pennines.
433
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,200
Odd... I still don't know where that
rabbit comes from,
434
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,400
and I've know him for over 30 years.
435
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,480
Yeah. Listen, Gordon,
my 11 has arrived.
436
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,480
Yeah, all right.
437
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,640
Bye, doll.
438
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,400
Alma?
439
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,840
Yes! Hello!
440
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,440
Thanks so much for coming to see us.
441
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,800
Yeah. Thank you for...
for having me here, it's lovely.
442
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:14,160
Yeah. So, let me tell you a little
bit about Dedicated Talent Monkey.
443
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,200
So...
444
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,000
At Dedicated Talent Monkey,
stars are born.
445
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,760
We birth talent...
446
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,280
..and I sense...
447
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,240
..I sense I could birth YOU.
448
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,000
Right, OK. Is that...
that's good, in't it?
449
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,760
I think? So, if you sign with me,
450
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,760
I'm here for the long-haul!
451
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,320
Kenny.
452
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,000
I helped give birth to his baby
in the back of a black cab
453
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,480
in 1987.
454
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,200
Right. Yeah.
455
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,800
Well done.
456
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,920
Derell. Green Man.
457
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,400
Green Man?
From the Green Man Travel advert.
458
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,400
You...you don't remember?
No. You know...
459
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,440
# Green Man Travel is
an absolute must
460
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,920
# Our Green Man is
the only man to... #
461
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,160
No, I don't...
462
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:54,880
But it put him through rehab.
463
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,240
Yeah.
464
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,600
Oh.. Just clearing out for t'lunch,
Dave. Do you want your scraps?
465
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,320
Tracy, yes, please, thank you.
466
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,680
Wonderful. The highlight of my day.
467
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,240
LOUD CRUNCHING
468
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,240
Oh, they're good.
469
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,520
So, Alma...
470
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,000
HE CLEARS THROAT
Who is Alma? Tell me about Alma.
471
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,200
Er, yeah, er so...
472
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,760
I'm a Bolton girl.
473
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,480
With a Helen Mirren energy. Nice.
474
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,480
Very versatile. And, to be honest,
I bring something fresh,
475
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,000
something fabulous which...
476
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,440
..I don't think Kenny and Derell do.
477
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,640
You're a spunky monkey, aren't you?
478
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,880
I am.
479
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,240
Now...
480
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,200
..if you sign with me,
481
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,240
there is a role that has come in
482
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,000
that I think
you would be perfect for.
483
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,920
Wait, you've got a role already?
484
00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,920
Do you know what? Fuck it!
485
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:46,640
I'll do it. I'll sign.
486
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,360
BELL DINGS
487
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,360
Let's do it!
488
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,720
Wonderful.
No, that's great news. Thank you.
489
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,480
So, now,
this is a site-specific piece.
490
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,280
It's a sort of like
a promenade performance.
491
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,880
Right And you will be playing
492
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,000
an elderly woman who passed away in
the 1800s...
493
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,240
Aw, this sounds fantastic!
494
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,040
Do you know, I've been dying to get
myself stuck into a meaty,
495
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,360
complex role. Fabulous!
496
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,240
BELL TOLLS, SHE SIGHS
497
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,920
FLATLY: Welcome to Ghouls R Us - the
ghouliest of ghoulish ghost tours.
498
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,360
Please follow me.
499
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:18,840
You'll be playing
an 18th century ghost.
500
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,040
Your role is to escort people
501
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,880
in t'ghouliest manner possible
round t'tour,
502
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,480
stopping off at each site.
503
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,680
Waaaah! Fuck me!
504
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:29,800
Just practising.
505
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,680
SHAKILY: OK. Well, nice to meet you.
506
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,480
You'll be given a script.
You can ad-lib but please avoid
507
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,560
getting into conversation
with anyone
508
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,880
who seems intoxicated.
509
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,320
Dean - playing ghost butcher.
510
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,840
Pleased to meet you.
511
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,480
Pleased to meet you, Dean.
512
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,960
You'll be popping
out of that coffin,
513
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,000
when you hear t'Grim Reaper say...
514
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,280
SHE SIGHS
515
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,840
..when you hear t'Grim reaper say...
516
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,240
WHISPERS: Now?
517
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,520
Yes!
518
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,000
Your so-o-oul is mi-i-ine!
519
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,960
Yeah. Very good.
520
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,480
Very, very demonic.
521
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,760
Hi, love. I'm the Grim Reaper
you'll be working with.
522
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,400
But you can call me Grimmy.
523
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,000
Ah! Grimmy, nice touch.
524
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,160
I hope you take this a bit more
seriously than our last host.
525
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,680
What people don't realise is
that we're actually bringing
526
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,360
families together, during promenade.
527
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:35,360
I'm more than just a
Grim Reaper, I'm a family therapist.
528
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,120
All right, Paul, don't start.
529
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,160
OK... Oh...
530
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,800
If, for whatever reason,
t'coffin gets jammed again...
531
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,840
Again? ..there's an emergency exit.
532
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,920
You click that button...
AUTOMATED VOICE: Warning.
533
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,400
..and roll out of t'back.
534
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,360
In case of a fire, just run.
535
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,840
OK, well, that...
536
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,880
Yeah, that feels sensible,
really, doesn't it? Yeah.
537
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,920
But mind t'wires.
538
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,640
Oh, gosh, is that from...?
539
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,920
Right. Probably get a good claim in
with that.
540
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,320
Oh, aye. Good.
541
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,480
Good, that's great.
Well, this is good.
542
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,200
Good, great. I mean, it's not...
543
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,760
..you know, but it is...
544
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,880
..you know, it's something,
isn't it? So...
545
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,440
Yeah.
546
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,080
Boo!
547
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,160
Yeah...
548
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:25,720
THUNDER RUMBLES
549
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,640
SINISTER MUSIC
550
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,440
No. Shite.
551
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,120
Or...this?
552
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,320
Yeah, I mean, they're both quite
unsettling, to be honest.
553
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:47,440
BELL RINGS
Oooh! Our horror seekers! Finally!
554
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,120
Right, Paul, stop titting about.
555
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,280
Shut t'coffin. Good luck.
556
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,920
MOBILE RINGTONE
557
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,720
Oh, God! No.
558
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:00,240
SHE TUTS
559
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:05,280
WHISPERS: Grandma, I can't talk.
I'm in a coffin.
560
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,720
What? A coffin.
561
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,640
Why? Yeah, don't ask.
562
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,240
We need to talk. Yeah, fine.
563
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,640
I'll bring pasties. Bye.
Meat and potato... Bye. ..for me.
564
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,000
God...
565
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,880
SPOOKY VOICES ECHO
566
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,480
CHATTER
567
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,280
ECHOING SCREAMS
568
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,880
Your soul is mi-i-ine!
569
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,240
SCREECHY: Welcome to hell!
570
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,040
Yeah, shit in here.
571
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,520
Definitely you, that.
Definitely you, dickhead.
572
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,920
Was it me?
573
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,560
Happens all t'time.
574
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,320
BELL RINGS
575
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,320
Round two.
576
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:40,960
I feel quite deflated.
577
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960
DOOR CREAKS
578
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,560
85, 86,
579
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,400
87, 88,
580
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,920
89, 90...
581
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,920
DOOR CLOSES
582
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,400
91, 92,
583
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,680
93... Hello-o-o!
584
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,880
Oh, bloody hell.
What have YOU come as?
585
00:23:57,880 --> 00:23:59,600
A ghoul. Don't ask.
586
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,360
Why's Jim got an apple on his head?
587
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,200
Posture. He slumps too much.
Don't you, Jim?
588
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,520
Apparently.
589
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,200
Pasties.
590
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,800
Mm? Come on!
591
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,320
There you go.
592
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,880
Here y'are.
Is this why you got me here?
593
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,120
No. Just to be
a pasty Deliveroo service?
594
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,880
No. I've got something to discuss
actually.
595
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,120
No.
596
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,760
I'm not getting into another long
discussion
597
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,360
about why you've got
five horoscopes.
598
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,080
I do!
599
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,280
I understand the Virgo to Leo thing.
600
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,000
I can even get on board
with the ascending to Scorpio.
601
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,880
But you can't claim Taurus and Libra
just cos they feel "more you".
602
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,520
Don't undermine
what I feel cosmically, Alma.
603
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:41,200
I've been here before. Who knows
what star sign I was in a past life?
604
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,080
Come on, Jim! Jim?
605
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,160
MUFFLED CHATTER
606
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,960
Jim, do I or do I not have a Taurus
the Bull energy in the morning?
607
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,560
Mum?!
608
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,280
Lin?! What the fuck are you doing?!
609
00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,840
Yes, it's me!
610
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,440
I've come to take him back
611
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,120
because he's mine!
612
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,200
Jim! Get out of that van now!
613
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,800
Right now! Come on.
614
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,600
SHE CLICKS TONGUE
615
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,600
Come on. Ch-ch-ch-ch!
616
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,880
Pss-pss-pss. I'm not a pet!
617
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,200
I'm a person!
618
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,040
Oh. Drive!
619
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,040
ENGINE STARTS
620
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:16,720
TYRES SCREECH
621
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:19,760
Oh...
622
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:22,880
What a clusterfuck.
623
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,320
Oh...
624
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,640
Bloody hell.
625
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,280
Are you all right, Grandma?
I thought...
626
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,120
I thought we were having
a nice time.
627
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,560
Thought he was happy here.
628
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,520
He's a schizophrenic who's in love
with a drug addict.
629
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,680
I mean,
who knows what makes him happy?
630
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,360
What the fuck has she done that for?
631
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:46,760
Alma...
632
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,920
I need to tell you something.
633
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,000
But don't go all flappy on me,
like you do.
634
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,560
Why, what is it?
635
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,320
Right, I went to the doctor's...
636
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,360
..um, a bit ago,
637
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:01,600
and I had my bloods done,
638
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,920
scans.
639
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:05,960
I've got cancer. Lung.
640
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,520
What? I've got cancer.
641
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,400
Well...how bad is it? What...what...
what stage is it?
642
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,880
Oh, God.
I'm not getting into that now.
643
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,760
Well, what...what do we do now?
644
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,120
What do you mean, what do we do now?
645
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,520
We don't do anything now.
That's it, finished, done.
646
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,680
SHE CLEARS THROAT
647
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,920
The doctor said it was one of the
biggest tumours he'd ever seen.
648
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,640
He said it was almost impressive.
649
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,560
I don't think that's something
to brag about, Grandma.
650
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,760
I should've been here.
651
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,080
I should've come back.
652
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,880
Why didn't you tell me?
653
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,280
Oh, come on. Lighten up.
654
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,200
You look as white as a ghost.
655
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,760
SHE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
656
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,560
Come on.
657
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,200
TOOT!
658
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,800
What, you want me
to start smoking these now, do you?
659
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,160
Great.
660
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,640
LOW HONK
661
00:27:05,360 --> 00:27:07,800
Come on. It's going to be fine.
662
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,160
You're mad.
663
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,200
TOOT!
664
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,920
TOOT!
665
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,400
SHE COUGHS
666
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,520
TOOT!
667
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:20,920
# I notice a lot
668
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,880
# The world is a silent place
669
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:29,000
# Where talking never stops
670
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:35,640
# Tracing your hand,
it all seems so far away
671
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:40,480
# When our heads are in the sand
672
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,120
# Time is eroding
673
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:50,200
# But I see the magic
in the moment... #
73699
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