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1
00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:10,840
The great outdoors -
picturesque, peaceful, unspoiled.
2
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,680
Well, it's not for me.
3
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,960
It's all very pleasant, viewed
through a gastropub window,
4
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,040
but without the buildings,
it gets disgusting very quickly.
5
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,800
Just look at Glastonbury.
6
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,680
Still, some people love it,
and I'm challenging six comedians
7
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,800
to prove that they can survive
in it.
8
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,400
For the next week, this forest
will be their home.
9
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,600
Nettles!
Neighbour...
Hello.
10
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,840
Each day, they'll be working
in pairs...
11
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,600
I've never been camping before.
12
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,600
The closest I've come to roughing
it is buying own brand catch up.
13
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,680
...learning vital skills...
14
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,480
Go away, leave all your provisions.
Argh!
15
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,600
You can go a bit Apocalypse Now
in there.
16
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,640
...and competing for badges.
17
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,120
Hi-yah!
Right, all done?
18
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,840
Will they be equipped to survive
post-apocalypse?
19
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,400
I've got 20 condoms and a bottle
of tequila.
20
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,200
So, yes, I've got the right gear.
21
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,800
I'm already missing the sound
of the city.
22
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,680
Where's... where's all the car horns?
23
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,640
Will they crumble under
the pressure?
24
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,320
Jamali, no.
WHISPERS:
Can I change teams?
25
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,120
I was in the brownies, but I got
kicked out for wetting myself,
26
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,480
so it's just the whole
environment could be
27
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:15,640
quite triggering for me, really.
28
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,400
Or will they be naturals?
29
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,160
You see the guy who Bear Grylls
how to survive and that?
30
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,200
I taught him.
31
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,720
Oh, God. No...
Yeah, it really is
easy to cut your leg off.
32
00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,520
Comedians wouldn't know one end of
an axe from the other,
33
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,880
which for axes, I believe,
is absolutely key.
34
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,160
Personally, I don't think
they'll last ten minutes
35
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,080
without ordering a pizza
36
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,560
and each evening I'll summon
them to my HQ...
37
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,120
Please approach the Temple of Doubt.
38
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,840
...to give them my verdict.
39
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,000
I think you did the job,
you get the badge.
40
00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,360
Yes!
Yes!
41
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,320
Welcome to Outsiders.
42
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,240
Can I get some hand sanitiser, please?
43
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,840
I think I've brushed against some
sort of animal.
44
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,440
It's day three, and I think I had
some slightly on the turn
45
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,600
semi-skimmed in my tea.
46
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,040
You all right there, Kerry?
47
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,040
Neighbour...
Hello.
48
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,080
Last time, Jess and Jamali stormed
into the lead by winning
49
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,800
all three badges, but another day
brings more chances to shine,
50
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,480
as it says in the self-help book
I'm currently reading.
51
00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,240
Get up, Outsiders,
you're under contract!
52
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,440
This is making me grumpy
because it's so small.
53
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,200
I'm the one that likes camping
and I'm coming over
54
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,800
as the grumpy asshole.
55
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:24,960
HE LAUGHS
56
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,920
And I like... I genuinely like
camping.
57
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,000
Do you go into camping shops,
Toussaint?
58
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,280
I've never been camping.
59
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,360
How have you never been camping,
how have you swerved it?
60
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:38,440
Because I'm from Lewisham.
61
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,800
We don't go camping.
62
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,120
SHE CHUCKLES
63
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,480
Well, let me tell you...
No-one in Lewisham goes camping.
64
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,760
Let me tell you a thing. Let me tell
you a thing that you will like.
65
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,920
Camping shops, right?
Mm.
66
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,160
They are temples of pleasure.
67
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,000
You can get...
68
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,640
...retractable brooms.
69
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,800
Stools that fold -
look at these stools,
70
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:03,840
they fold up!
71
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,680
You're not into it, are you?
72
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,480
Have you gone to sleep?
73
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,480
Nettles!
That looks very unpleasant,
David.
74
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,160
Nettles! Yes.
75
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,200
It looks better on camera than if I
came a sensible way.
76
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,760
Here we go.
Good morning, all.
77
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,080
Good da.
Morning, David.
Morning.
Right.
78
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,160
Are you ready for your next badge?
79
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,680
Oh, yeah!
So ready.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah?
80
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,320
Being able to blend
in with your surroundings
81
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,560
is a vital survival skill.
82
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,520
To earn the camouflage badge,
you must camouflage
83
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,840
yourselves and hide.
84
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,880
Once you are hidden, another team
will have ten minutes to find you.
85
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,000
The rule of this badge is that one
of you must camouflage yourself
86
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,120
using natural materials and
I must therefore...
87
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:57,880
By implication, the other of you can
use other things,
88
00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,240
like an invisibility cloak or
something.
89
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,960
We really picked good outfits.
90
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,760
Good luck hiding.
I look forward to not seeing you.
91
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,200
THEY LAUGH
92
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,440
Should we pop off, then?
I think we can pop off now.
93
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,440
Pop off.
Yeah.
Let's pop off.
Bye! ALL:
Bye.
94
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,880
Going back through the nettles cos
it's the right direction
95
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,280
for the cameras.
96
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,560
Doesn't make sense on any
other level.
97
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:25,000
Each team will have 20 minutes
to conceal themselves
98
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,360
in their allocated one hectare plot.
99
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,240
Very metric.
100
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:33,920
Right, Lou. Let's see what we've got
in our camouflage sack.
101
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,880
Oh, yeah, hello.
102
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,440
Oh, my God, yes!
103
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,080
You got face...
Camo-makeup.
104
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,440
Ooh, look at this.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
105
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,040
Yeah, that's good.
The Wooky monster!
106
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,960
Can you see me?
No.
107
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,480
Can you see me now?
No, I can't see you at all.
108
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,920
Shall we take this with and browse
our surroundings, or...?
109
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,400
Well, let's browse first.
Yeah.
110
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,240
I'd quite like to wear
the ghillie suit.
111
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,640
I'd love you to wear
the ghillie suit.
Thank you.
112
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,800
You've got these...
Oh, right.
...which are large.
113
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,040
Oh, they're good. Those...
Those are good.
114
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,680
There's a pouch for...
That is a...
...for my penis!
115
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,880
Yeah, there's a pouch
for your big penis.
116
00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:10,680
Are you past me heaving a sort
of log on top of you?
117
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,400
Well, it depends how heavy
the old log is
118
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,040
and whether it's going
to kill me or not.
119
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,280
Oh, you look like you're in the
Marines, mate.
Do I?
120
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,840
I'd like to go up a tree and then I
could hide in the middle.
121
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,200
Oh, my God.
122
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,120
How naturally good are you
at hiding?
123
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,480
If I can just lie down and have a
little sleep...
124
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,840
Yeah?
Under some bracken,
I could be really good at that.
125
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,520
OK.
I reckon I could smash that.
Yeah.
126
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,400
First, it's up to Lou and Ed to
camouflage and hide.
127
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,480
I'm so blended in that even the
bracken thinks
128
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,200
I'm part of the bracken.
129
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:47,120
What we do here, Ed, just cover
me and sticky tape
130
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,720
and I'll just go like that.
131
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,480
Are your arms going to be OK?
132
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,800
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
133
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,680
Now I just roll.
134
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,200
Ow!
135
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:08,240
Right.
136
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,360
It's not done a huge amount,
I'd say.
137
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,080
SHE LAUGHS
138
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,840
Lou, I've collected some
foliage for you.
139
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,200
That is very romantic,
thank you, Ed.
140
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,520
Good luck, Lou.
Good luck, Ed!
141
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,240
Right.
142
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,920
They're never going to find me.
143
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,960
I'm in my tree.
144
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,280
An opportunity for a little me time.
145
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,400
OK, you have ten minutes to find Ed
and Lou
146
00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,280
in this area...
Uh-huh.
...starting now.
147
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,040
So if I just do a quick,
can I just wrap
148
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,400
it up and then we can go eat?
149
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,320
Yeah.
All right.
Perfect.
Brilliant.
150
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,800
Pub?
151
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,080
I suppose you just got to get
in the head of Ed
152
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,640
and Lou, haven't you?
153
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,920
Hey, Lou, I really want to hear one
of your puns.
154
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,000
That'll draw her out.
155
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,400
The trick is to be very quiet.
156
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,080
LOUD FART
Ooh, just farted!
157
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,200
This position I'm in, it's
absolutely perfect
158
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,000
for stomach crunches.
159
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:12,800
Oh, hang on. Shh!
160
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:16,480
I thought I just heard Lou.
161
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,560
With hunt one well under way,
it's time for Kerry and Toussaint
162
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,240
to put on their "please ignore me"
outfits.
163
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,960
Oh, that is fantastic!
164
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,560
I literally can't see you.
165
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,240
Why have you painted my face?
166
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,240
Oh, my God.
167
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,760
Hm.
168
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,720
LOU WHISPERS:
Phew, that was close.
169
00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,440
I've become one with the tree.
170
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,560
I think you'll just have to lie
down and I'll garnish you.
171
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,880
Oh, God...
172
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,920
There's a log.
Right.
173
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:14,760
Lou-Lou?
174
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,320
Lou?
175
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,800
Oh, shit, they're close.
176
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,560
Look round... Look... You look
around there.
177
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,560
Yeah, found Ed.
Oh, shit.
178
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,400
Have you actually?
Yeah, found Ed here.
179
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,240
SHE LAUGHS
Ed's here.
180
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,880
Gamble!
Oh, that is such a relief, honestly.
181
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,440
THEY LAUGH
I hated that!
182
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,240
Lou?
183
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,640
No, she ain't around here.
184
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,880
You have two minutes remaining.
185
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,280
You see, that's all I am now.
Never mind the anecdotes.
186
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,760
I'm just... I'm reduced to Bake Off.
187
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,000
Yeah, I don't think we're going
to find her.
188
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,720
Genuinely, I can't find her.
189
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,440
You have 30 seconds!
190
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,320
I was a tree once in a school play,
191
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,920
so you could say I've had a bit
of practice.
192
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,400
I'm afraid your time is up.
193
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,880
What?!
194
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,800
Woo!
195
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,000
Yeah!
WHISPERING:
Suckers!
196
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,840
Oh, shit, she's like right here.
197
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,640
Yes, Lou!
198
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,360
That's so good.
199
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,440
I just tend to just pop myself
round.
200
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,520
Wow.
You're quite nimble.
Good effort!
201
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,200
Ah!
Oh.
202
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,000
Well done.
Well done.
Well done!
203
00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,080
Right, I've got to hide myself now.
204
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,080
All right. Thanks, Kerry.
Good luck.
205
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,800
With Toussaint now hidden, Kerry
has just one minute left
206
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,960
before Ed and Lou are set loose.
207
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,320
No, I've had... I've had an idea.
I've had an idea.
208
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,680
Go on, what is it?
209
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,320
Right, we call their names and see
if they just naturally answer.
210
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,280
OK.
Kerry?!
Toussaint?
211
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,480
Kerry?
Oh, Toussaint?
212
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,880
OK, right, yeah, let's start here,
let's do a big sweep.
OK.
213
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,400
Cos we've only got ten minutes.
Quick, quick, quick.
214
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,760
OK.
215
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,040
Are they under there?
216
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,880
Excuse me!
217
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,880
Are they under there?
Come on, quick.
218
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,200
Come on, here - not there are they?
Come on. Quick, quick.
219
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,600
How do you know they're not there?
220
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,440
They're camouflaged,
that's the point.
221
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,000
What was that?!
This is actually quite relaxing.
222
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,160
Some little bug just bit me.
223
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:18,200
It's time for our last pair
to camouflage themselves.
224
00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:19,400
Do you know what?
225
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,000
Because one of us has to be natural
and the other one doesn't...
226
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,520
Yeah.
So, I'm thinking,
what I'm going to do
227
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,960
is I'm going to dress up as a
cameraman.
228
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,960
Oh, Jamali, that's genius!
229
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,040
That...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, if you
do.... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
230
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,600
That's such a good idea.
231
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,560
Cos nobody really...
No-one knows my clothes.
232
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,800
...nobody really notices the
crew anyway.
233
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,160
I generally forgot we were being
filmed this whole time.
234
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,840
Right, where are these couple of
twots?
235
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,960
The thing is, at this point, we must
have walked past them now.
236
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,200
They'll never find me.
237
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,160
I should be in the SAS -
the unit that does the hiding,
238
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,000
not the one that does the fighting.
239
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,960
I'm very impressed.
Yeah, it's really good.
240
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,000
The couple to be finding no-one
are...
241
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,920
I think their technique is to have
a very general look,
242
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,480
just to check that they're not
just standing there.
243
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:11,640
You know, they've definitely checked
the area for unconcealed people.
244
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:14,040
Get them, get them, get them!
What's that?!
245
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,840
A log!
How are you doing, Kerry?
246
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,240
Terribly!
247
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,080
Oh, dear, the body.
Don't show me the body.
248
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,080
Jamali!
249
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,000
Oh, right, there's a...
There's a...
Yeah, a peep-hole.
250
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:35,160
Oh, my God! Do I look like a bush?
251
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:41,240
Do you think maybe a bit more
bracken on my head?
252
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,800
What's bracken?
What's bracken?!
253
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,920
Have we tried everywhere?
254
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,720
Well, I mean, obviously not.
255
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,480
You've got two minutes left.
256
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,880
Oh, shit...
What?!
257
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,600
David, not now.
258
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,760
I'm losing heart now.
259
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,480
PIERCING SCREAM
260
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,760
I've got one!
Oh, you!
Yes!
261
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,240
No!
262
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,480
I've got Kerry.
No, no, you haven't!
263
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,400
Yeah, I've got Kerry.
Right, let's keep going,
264
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:08,120
we've only got two minutes.
Quick, quick!
265
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,440
Yeah, they've definitely
found Kerry.
266
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,640
Get them, get them, get them!
What's that?!
267
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,880
A log.
One minute!
268
00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,360
We haven't been to the end,
are you kidding me?!
269
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:23,720
We have, of course we have.
What? I haven't been up here.
270
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,200
They're not going to find him,
they're nowhere near him.
271
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,960
30 seconds!
272
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,280
Quick!
Get in that bracken.
273
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,160
Oh, yes, I'm going.
274
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,280
He's by that tree.
275
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,200
Is he in there?
Oh!
276
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,000
Five...
277
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,440
...four... three...
278
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,880
...two, one.
279
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,680
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
280
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,320
Time's up.
281
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:51,200
Where is he?
You only found one of us, suckers!
282
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,200
Come and join me.
283
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,320
Toussaint. Well, I mean,
remains hidden.
284
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,440
Where could he be?
He's under there!
285
00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,840
THEY LAUGH
286
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,480
Oh, great.
Oh, my God!
287
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,120
I am a tree!
288
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,280
That's so good!
I'm a tree!
289
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,760
Jess and Jamali are the last up.
290
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,640
Right, turning over.
291
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,480
Oh, my God.
Bloody fire, mate.
292
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:19,560
Brilliant, Jamali, you look just
like one of the crew.
293
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,600
Kerry and Toussaint, you have ten
minutes to find them...
294
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,560
Ten minutes, no problem.
...starting now.
295
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,840
Let's go!
Right, I'd do for that
tree straight away.
296
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,200
We could lure them out,
like the child catcher.
297
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,240
Lollipops!
298
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,120
They're like,
"This is very Inspector Morse."
299
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:36,480
HE CHUCKLES
300
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,680
Oh, dear, the body.
Don't show me the body.
301
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,680
Would anyone care for a G&T?
302
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,200
Yes, I would murder a G&T, Kerry.
303
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,600
If I could get to my mouth, that is.
304
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,600
Where are you?
305
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,120
They're rubbish.
Never going to find me.
306
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,560
Oh, it's hard.
307
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,600
How are you doing, Kerry?
Terribly!
308
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,400
Really bad.
309
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,680
Are you hiding here?
310
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,160
Oh, there's something there.
311
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,360
This doesn't look natural.
Is it a decoy?
Oh, tits!
312
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,960
You got someone?
313
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,840
I've got Jess!
314
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,240
THEY LAUGH
315
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,040
"Oh, Jess, do you want to hide
under a pile of leaves
316
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,480
"while everyone films it?"
317
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:21,800
I'm going to keep looking
for Jamali.
318
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,600
Jamali?
319
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:36,080
Right, if we found Jess in the
synthetic outfit...
320
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,520
Have you got him?
321
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,600
There was movement.
322
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,720
He's a lot better at hiding
than I thought he'd be,
323
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:43,920
to be honest.
324
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,880
HUSHED:
David, it's Jamali.
325
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,120
HUSHED: Excellent move.
326
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,400
Brilliant.
327
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:54,720
Look for a beard.
328
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:58,080
Yeah, he's got a big beard.
He'll have camouflaged his beard.
329
00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,320
If he's lying down,
it might be sticking up.
330
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,280
All these bracken mounds,
he's under one of them.
331
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,680
He's definitely under one of these.
332
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,080
I'm worried I'm going to tread
on him.
333
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,040
I don't want to step on you, Jamali.
334
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,240
Please reveal yourself
for your own safety.
335
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,040
I honestly don't know where he is.
336
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,000
Have I looked here?
337
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,120
Two minutes left!
338
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,640
Two?!
Come on, Kerry!
339
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,280
Are you going to put tense music
under this bit,
340
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,640
like, to create a sense
of time running out?
341
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,000
JESSICA IMITATES TENSE MUSIC
342
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,960
I can do it for you, if you want.
Yeah, yeah.
343
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,760
Oh, oh, oh!
344
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,200
What's in here? What's this?
345
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,200
It's a red jumper! It's a decoy!
346
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,080
LAUGHTER
347
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,640
He's really well hidden!
348
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,440
You have one minute left!
349
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,880
KERRY SCREAMS
350
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,560
He's gone.
351
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,520
Three, two...
352
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,000
Jamali!
...one.
Jamali!
353
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,440
How does it feel?
354
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,560
Oh, my God!
LAUGHTER
355
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,720
Fair play!
356
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,680
No!
Nice.
357
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,880
They weren't paying me enough on the
job so I had to pick up another job.
358
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:18,280
Oh, my God, that's so clever
and sneaky!
359
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,800
Very sneaky.
360
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,840
I just shows you how you generally
just don't look at any crew.
361
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,440
Guys, I see you.
362
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,000
I see you.
363
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,800
I'll review the team's performance
in my HQ later,
364
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:38,000
but for now, I've got another badge
to help keep their minds off things.
365
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:42,960
For the next badge, I've asked the
teams to come up with an anthem
366
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,240
for their camp.
367
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:48,920
A rallying song that will keep them
going when everything's awful
368
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,080
and where the rational thing to do
would probably be
369
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,520
to take your own life.
370
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,920
Oh, there's not a grand piano.
I want a grand piano.
No.
371
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,960
No grand... But I believe this might
be the instrument box, Lou.
372
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,440
In terms of musical instruments,
373
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,040
we've provided them
with some very basic things.
374
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,520
SHAKER RATTLES
375
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,160
This is dog shit.
376
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,080
Plus, obviously, they have
the instruments of nature.
377
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,520
They could find a particularly
crackly dead blackbird
378
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,800
or a badger on a stick
that you hit against a log.
379
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,600
TAPPING AND RINGING
380
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,160
There'll be a musicality to
nature itself.
381
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:28,640
Or you imprison nightingales and
make them do the work for you.
382
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,120
ED HUMS TUNE
Come on, then!
383
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,200
Right, this anthem, what sort of
thing are we looking to express?
384
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,240
TOUSSAINT MUMBLES
385
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,600
Uh, something powerful about nature.
386
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,000
Nature is powerful.
387
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,800
Nature's cool.
Yeah.
388
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,120
Working in a team.
389
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,160
What would be an opening line?
390
00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,880
Like, um...
391
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:05,600
♪ We like the same things
and different things as well
392
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,920
♪ Bring us together -
that will be swell! ♪
393
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,760
That's actually quite good.
394
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,560
Really rousing language, but then
we'll sort of update it.
395
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,120
Yeah. What people really care about.
396
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,720
So, like...
♪ Glory... ♪
397
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,400
That's great. Yeah, "Glory..."
398
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:21,840
TOUSSAINT:
Uh...
399
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,760
What do we really want in life?
400
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,840
Trainers.
Trainers.
401
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,720
Marble breakfast tops.
Marble breakfast tops.
402
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,000
And then they always just have
403
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,720
Jerusalem thrown in there,
don't they?
404
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,200
We'll say Jerusalem.
Jerusalem.
405
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,480
And then we haven't got "perish".
406
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,080
LOU:
♪ Grass is green, but there's
other colours as well
407
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:45,760
♪ Bring back our old word - swell. ♪
408
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,680
OK, so we've sort of
lost the message now,
409
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,200
and you're just trying to rhyme
things with "swell".
410
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,640
KERRY:
I go jolly and, like,
a little bit batshit.
411
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,880
And you underneath with
a kind of baseline...
412
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,520
♪ But be cautious. ♪
Yeah, yeah.
413
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,040
♪ Don't... cry... ♪
414
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,080
♪ Have you touched a pig?
415
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,640
♪ You must confess it! ♪
416
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,880
Why is it now about touching a pig?
417
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,760
We had a really good system
that it was going to be about
418
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,080
the strengths and weaknesses
419
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,440
and how animals working together
can help in the wild,
420
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,480
and now it's about
"don't touch a pig".
421
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:17,760
Fridge freezer.
422
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,160
Oh, yeah. With an ice maker.
Yeah, oh!
423
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,760
With motherfucking ice maker?
Motherfucking ice maker.
424
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,600
I'm going to write that down.
Yeah, please.
425
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:26,760
What was it again?
426
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,320
This is really pleasing.
BELLS RING
427
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:29,480
That is really nice.
428
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,520
I'm well out of my comfort
zone with this.
429
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,080
We just need more time.
This is like a prepare in advance...
430
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,760
There's no amount of time
that will make us naturally musical.
431
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,520
I think we just throw in a Jerusalem
at the end.
You do think we...?
432
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,360
Yeah, finish with Jerusalem
and then I'll just go...
433
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,760
♪ Jerusalem! ♪
434
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,720
Hello, everyone.
Now, who wants to go first?
435
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,760
Let's get it out the way.
What?!
436
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,360
Just get it out the way.
Yes!
437
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,600
Off you go.
Rip the plaster off!
Let's go.
438
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,400
This anthem is about one person
and one person only
439
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,320
who's capable of rallying everyone
and bringing us all together.
440
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:20,400
One, two, one, two, three, four.
441
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,160
♪ God save David Attenborough
442
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:29,480
♪ Long live David Attenborough
443
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:33,000
♪ God save David Attenborough
444
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:40,120
♪ Yes, he's an old white guy
445
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,840
♪ Who makes loads
of brilliant nature documentaries...
446
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,160
We'll be all right.
447
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:51,720
ALL: # God save David Attenborough
448
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:57,160
♪ He is a national treasure! ♪
ALL: # ..treasure! ♪
449
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,560
Is this a view of everyone?
450
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,680
I don't really like
David Attenborough.
451
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,960
LAUGHTER
452
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,120
Well, thank you very much.
453
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:09,800
Who's next?
We'll go next.
454
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,840
OK. When you're ready?
455
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,240
OK.
456
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,800
♪ Glory and money
457
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:24,480
♪ Victory and handbags
458
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,600
♪ Perseverance and technology
459
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,560
♪ Like that car that parks itself
460
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,320
♪ That is pretty cool, actually...
461
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,360
Check it out on Google if you
haven't seen it yet,
462
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:35,920
but it's pretty dope.
463
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,280
♪ Marble breakfast top,
American-style fridge freezers
464
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,480
♪ With motherfucking ice makers...
They're shit hot.
465
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,480
♪ Jerusalem
Jerusalem. ♪
466
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,320
Really strong.
Lovely, yeah.
467
00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,960
Thank you.
468
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,360
Thank you very much for that.
That was beautiful.
469
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,520
And finally, Lou and Ed.
470
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,800
OK. One, two, three. Hit it.
471
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,760
BOTH: # The frog can leap,
but she can't fly
472
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,680
♪ Along comes a crew
to give her a ride
473
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,680
♪ The worm can wriggle,
but she can't swim
474
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:16,480
♪ Along comes a friend -
Mrs Terrapin
475
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,160
♪ Stronger united than we are apart
476
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:24,640
♪ We go together
like a horse and cart! ♪
477
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,480
LAUGHTER
478
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,640
Wow!
Thank you very much.
479
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,080
And a bonus dance.
Yes.
Or mounting activity.
480
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,440
Thank you very much, all of you.
481
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,920
See you later.
Bye!
Bye. Bye-bye.
482
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,720
You wouldn't let me mount you,
would you?
483
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,400
People have done terrible things
because of flags.
484
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:50,600
I'm happy, you're sad.
485
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,360
We're not going to be able to fly it
because of the weight of the metal.
486
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,720
It's fearless leader
David Mitchell.
487
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,640
Hello.
Hi, David.
488
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,760
Hi, everyone. That's a nice
fire... you've got going.
Yes.
489
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,440
It's badge time!
490
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,400
CHEERING
491
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,760
OK. So, I've got a laminate
492
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,280
In order to repair your belongings,
493
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,800
possessing the knowledge
and ability to sew is essential
494
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,920
if you are to survive in the wild.
495
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:32,680
To earn your sewing badge, you must
create a bespoke flag for your camp.
496
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:34,600
Your flag must be themed
497
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,960
and you must incorporate one natural
material into your flag.
498
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,280
Oh!
499
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:45,240
People have done terrible, wonderful
and daft things because of flags.
500
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,480
They've marched in ridiculous armour
under flags
501
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,840
and tried to kill thousands of
people marching under another flag.
502
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,320
That's what I want.
503
00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,200
I want something that will make
people do that kind of mad thing.
504
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,640
Because, obviously, it's not
good that they do the mad thing,
505
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,360
but still, that makes it
a good flag.
506
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,400
There are no bad flags,
just bad flag owners.
507
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,040
Yes, exactly.
Nice.
Thank you all.
508
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,040
OK, let's all go and sew
a cock and balls
509
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,880
on three pieces of fabric, then!
510
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,520
There's a feather here, look.
511
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,240
All right.
512
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,040
I think we should make something
really alluring.
513
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,800
OK.
That makes me think "peacock".
514
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:32,000
It makes me think "pigeon".
515
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,440
We keep it super, super simple.
516
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,720
What says wilderness camping
more than a fire?
517
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,560
So...
I know, but what are you
saying? Jump in the fire?
518
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,960
You're very peace and love.
Yeah.
We need to express that on the flag.
519
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,640
Yeah.
But also, I think we need to
express "Don't mess with us".
520
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,000
Something quite violent.
521
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,400
Don't mess with us
cos it really stresses us.
522
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,320
Don't mess with us
cos it really stresses us!
523
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:57,840
And then we have a couple of people,
either side...
Off their nut?
524
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,240
Off their absolute jib,
just, like, dancing around...
525
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,080
So, you went from "keep it simple"
to now
526
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,200
"do humans off their nut
round a fire"?
527
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,320
Why don't we just do a big face?
528
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:10,960
HE LAUGHS
529
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,240
But also, I think we should
incorporate David as sort of
530
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,400
like the central god figure.
531
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,960
Big face of David.
532
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,480
Two faces.
Two faces.
533
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,080
Happy, sad, fire.
534
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,600
Happy, sad, fire.
535
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,600
No-one's put a face on a flag
before, have they?
536
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,760
Well, I think...
A big smiley face!
537
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,640
...I think dictators have.
538
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,840
What's peace and love -
a heart, a flower...?
539
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,920
Knife...
Dagger.
Yeah. Dagger and knife?
540
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,320
Oh, sorry, a dagger's a knife.
541
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:40,480
Um... So, yeah, I must listen.
542
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,480
ED LAUGHS
543
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:43,880
So, what will people fight for?
544
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,680
Food.
545
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:46,800
Sex.
546
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,560
Yeah. Let's just make, like,
sort of a collage
547
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:52,120
of loads of stuff that people like.
548
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,680
Because flags are a bit boring,
really, aren't they?
549
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,160
They're just, like, colours.
550
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,920
This is so good.
OK, we need to sew on...
551
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,320
This is so good!
552
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:06,960
He looks very effeminate,
but, you know, in 2021, who cares?
553
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,880
You can't just sew a knife and fork
to a piece of material...
554
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,680
That's how...
...and say it's a flag.
555
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,640
That's how all good flags
are started.
556
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,200
How's that?
That's fucking great.
557
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,320
That is quite good, actually,
isn't it?
Yeah.
558
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:20,200
We have to decide to do something
together as a team, Jamali.
559
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,360
We are doing it as a team!
560
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,440
You're just sewing some cutlery
to a piece of fabric!
561
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:25,880
Do you know what?
562
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,200
It's going to look like
the logo for the Little Chef.
563
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,160
JAMALI LAUGHS
564
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,680
So, are we doing
happy and sad, or...?
565
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,000
I'm happy, you're sad.
566
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,960
Oh, that's just so my brand, that
I'm going to be the pissed-off one.
567
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,400
Yeah, I mean, it's quite close
to home, so, um...
568
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,360
THEY LAUGH
569
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,800
Oh, no!
570
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,920
What? What, what?
571
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,440
It's the nuclear symbol!
572
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,400
THEY LAUGH
573
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,720
And then we could have the words...
574
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:06,680
Uh...
575
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,080
No-one puts words on flags.
576
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,120
Maybe we should just
have one word.
577
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,560
Which is "fight".
578
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,520
Kung fu fighting.
Quite violent, aren't you?
579
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,400
Everything's... There's a theme.
580
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,040
It's always you've killed a man...
I did kill a man.
581
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,440
Keep it brief.
582
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:29,240
It's got to be one word which is
going to bring people to our flag.
583
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,800
"Come".
584
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,800
Sounds a bit desperate,
I'm not going to lie.
585
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,640
Come, come. Come.
586
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,200
And it's got the added bonus
of being a wank joke.
587
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,880
That's a flag that I would love
to wave.
588
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,160
It's getting there.
589
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,320
And we're not going to be able
to fly it, obviously,
590
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:47,360
because of the weight
of the metal.
591
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,400
Bonjour!
Hello.
Hello.
Hi, David.
592
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:55,040
Oh, now! That's...
593
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,680
Talk me through it.
594
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,320
So, obviously centre stage, it's
fearless leader, David Mitchell.
595
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:02,960
Yeah.
It...
596
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,960
So the whole vibe is,
in David Mitchell we trust.
Yeah.
597
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,280
It's lovely, isn't it?
Seriously?
Yes.
598
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,560
So, those are the three nations
of the camp?
Yeah.
Yeah.
599
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,240
And the green is...?
And then...
600
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,720
The green is just what they gave us
to make the flag.
601
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,240
The production decided it had to
have a green background.
Yeah.
602
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,640
I would say that was part
of the creative process that
603
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,640
they wrongly robbed you of...
Yeah,
yeah.
...and I can only apologise.
604
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,880
That's OK. It's simple.
But effective.
605
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,160
It is simple.
606
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:33,760
And this flag here stands
for the duality of nature,
607
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:37,840
the duality of existence,
of living, of human existence.
608
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,880
So, we have...
And saying yes to all of it.
609
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,080
So, you've got the people
who like nature,
610
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,400
the people who like food, the people
who like sex...
611
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:45,920
It's all represented.
612
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,320
That's basically everyone.
That's universal, isn't it?
613
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,720
Birds, food, shagging.
614
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,880
I mean, firstly, why have you chosen
to depict me?
615
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,080
We're not as into
the other guy from Peep Show,
616
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,680
so we went with you.
617
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,440
Well, I should hope not!
618
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,680
Did we get our badge?
Yeah. S... Sorry?
619
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:00,800
Did we get the badge?
620
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,720
I will tell you that
later on in the tent.
621
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,560
Well, we'll see what I say later.
622
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,360
Yes.
Yes. Yes!
Yes.
You'll be saying yes.
623
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,200
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
624
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,680
Yes!
Yes!
Yes.
625
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,200
I think he liked that.
626
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:16,960
I felt like that could have
gone better.
627
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,560
I thought he was going to be
bowled over.
628
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,280
I thought he was going to pull
his trousers
629
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:21,960
and pants down he'd be so excited.
630
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,440
Can I make a frank admission?
Go on.
631
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,240
This is the closest I've ever got
to a barbecue.
632
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:38,080
What?!
I've never barbecued
on the barbecue.
633
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:42,320
Why?
Yeah, because I, like...
I find that barbecues are like,
634
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,880
it's like quite an incredibly
manly thing.
635
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,960
So whenever I'm at a barbecue,
I just leave it to the alphas.
636
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,080
Like, when I'm at a barbecue, the
alpha will be here like, doing...
637
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,600
"Shall we chuck another sausage
on the barbie?"
OK, right.
638
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,720
Shall I just give you a little
reveal on the alpha myth?
639
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,400
Yes, please.
There's nothing to it.
640
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,840
They're literally just putting meat
on a fire.
641
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,840
OK.
There's... That's it.
642
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,360
They're just blagging it.
They're blagging it.
643
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,080
Classic. Classic alphas.
644
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,640
So you do the meat ones,
I'll do the veggie.
Right, cool.
645
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,280
Hello.
Hiya.
What's going on?
646
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,080
Just a few sausages on the barbie.
647
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,800
Unfortunately, despite Toussaint
saying he found barbecue men
648
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,200
intimidating and they tend to
take over and bully their way
649
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,280
into the barbecue, that's what
I've just done.
Just took it off me.
650
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,640
JAMALI:
It's kind of what
you've got to do, man.
651
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,280
But he was doing really well.
652
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,800
But you can tell when
someone's messing up the grill.
653
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:34,280
And you just got to go,
step out for a second, mate.
654
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,480
Spoken by a true alpha!
655
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,520
JESSICA: Yeah, how did it...
How did everyone,
656
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,720
how did everyone get on hiding?
You hated it.
I hated it.
657
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,720
I was really glad I was found, actually.
658
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,000
My body reacted like
I was genuinely hiding.
659
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,800
But also, then I fell asleep and
then I woke up and then I farted,
660
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,640
so my body didn't know
what was going on.
661
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,080
I have to say, I did feel quite
nervous as you were approaching.
662
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,680
Yeah, like you were being hunted.
663
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,040
Yeah, I was feeling like...
Yeah, I was.
664
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,360
But it's quite...
But it's fun though, isn't it?
665
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:05,600
That's like...
No!
I would say,
hiding is more fun than seeking.
666
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,600
Can you pass me the spatula, please?
667
00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:09,680
Do you want to take over the
sausage maintenance?
668
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,880
This fire fucking hates me.
Wherever I sit.
669
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,680
They look great!
They're coming along.
670
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,920
Yeah, that's great.
671
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,400
Oh, Jamali!
Did you drop it?
672
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,080
I dropped it.
Who's the alpha now, bitch?
673
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,680
Sit down, sit down!
674
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,480
Teams, will you please
stop hanging around there?
675
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,760
Jamali says that
all he hears all day is just...
676
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,440
MOCKING:
"Jamali!"
677
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:36,840
"Jamali, stop!"
678
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,960
The Outsiders are coming to the end
of their third day in the woods.
679
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,880
Today, they've honed their survival
skills by singing silly songs...
680
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:58,400
♪ We go together like
a horse and cart! ♪
681
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,960
...playing hide and seek...
682
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,760
I'm gonna dress up as a cameraman.
683
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,480
Jamali, brilliant.
684
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,120
...and doing a bit of crafting.
685
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,840
We keep it super, super simple.
686
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,240
The duality of nature.
687
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,520
Now it's time to see
if it was all worth it.
688
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:21,560
Teams, will you please stop
hanging around there
689
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,480
and start hanging around here?
690
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,480
Knock, knock.
Hello, hello.
691
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,880
Hello, David.
Hello!
Hello.
692
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,680
Hi.
Oh, it's nice to be back,
actually.
So cosy.
693
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,520
Welcome, Outsiders.
694
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,960
It's the end of day three.
695
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:47,080
Now it's time to pass judgment
on the day's events
696
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,560
and see which pairing wins
which badges.
697
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,440
OK, so we'll start with
the camouflage badge.
698
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,360
Kerry and Toussaint. Well, clearly
you've been inspired, Kerry,
699
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,720
by the camouflaging experience.
They said I could keep them.
700
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,040
Yeah.
And I like them.
Just stay camouflaged.
701
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,320
Yeah.
Why not?
You can't see my legs, can you?
702
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:13,880
I completely can.
703
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,720
So Kerry and Toussaint,
did you prefer hiding or seeking?
704
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:23,280
I would say hiding, because...
No, come on, you hated hiding.
705
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,160
I mean, I was very good at it.
706
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,320
I was committed to it.
Yeah.
For sure.
707
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,000
But it was upsetting for you.
In that commitment, you know,
708
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,680
you have to go through suffering.
709
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:36,240
Anything that you do well
takes a degree of suffering.
710
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,760
Do you agree with that, Jamali?
711
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,760
Anything done well
requires suffering?
712
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,600
Would that be...
Not really.
I don't. I don't, really.
713
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,800
Jamali's catchphrase is
to do anything well,
714
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,320
your heartbeat shouldn't go
above 50 beats per minute.
715
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,240
Kerry was discovered.
716
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,120
You weren't discovered, Toussaint.
I was discovered right at the...
717
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,000
It took nine minutes...
Nine minutes.
It was very good.
718
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,440
...for Ed and Lou to discover you.
Ed was, like, close, a lot.
719
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,840
Oh, yeah.
I was like, oh, my God,
what is wrong with him?
720
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,280
It's a real shame that you thought,
what was wrong with me?
721
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,760
I thought you did a great job.
That's what was happening.
722
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,040
You're right.
But also, to be fair,
I wasn't looking.
723
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:10,760
I was just having a run round.
724
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,520
But you were the...
You hid up a tree, Lou.
725
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,840
Yes.
You were undiscovered
up your tree.
726
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,640
Ed, you were found in four minutes.
727
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,280
And what a relief, though.
728
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,480
I hated being hidden, David.
My body reacted crazily.
729
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:24,840
I don't think I've ever been
panicking that much.
730
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,000
Because I was panicking,
I fell asleep.
731
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,040
I woke up and then I farted,
and then they found me.
732
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,000
You must have been panicking the
other night in the tent quite a lot.
733
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,600
Yeah!
734
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,640
Now, Jess and Jamali,
we have to discuss.
735
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,360
Firstly, Jess, I'm afraid
you were found in two minutes.
736
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:42,720
I know!
737
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,960
I mean, we have to discuss
Jamali's choice.
738
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,440
Oh... I mean, round of applause.
Absolutely.
739
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,440
Out of this world.
I don't want to
piss on the parade because I think
740
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,080
it was a great thing.
741
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,880
But was the brief not natural?
742
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,480
No, that was just one of them.
That was one.
743
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,920
So can you unclasp your hands, please?
744
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,920
But you were in synthetic,
weren't you?
745
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,400
Well, I had leaves...
Unclasp them for a second.
746
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,240
Not quite yet, my friend.
Not quite yet.
747
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,960
The prosecution has not rested.
748
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,360
I believe Jess was
in the synthetic camouflage.
749
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,120
With nature on top of her.
750
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,200
I was also covered in leaves
and bracken.
751
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:22,880
Yes, but also...
Oh, that's a point, were you...
752
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:26,360
Oh, now! Now Ed gets it as well!
753
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,920
Were you in the ghillie suit?
Yes, she was in the ghillie suit.
754
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,560
ALL: Ohhhh!
One person had to be in nature.
755
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,760
The camera, my friend, that
you were operating, wasn't nature.
756
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,800
So I will keep them clasped
thank you very much.
757
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,440
Over to you, David.
In fact, you know what, Toussaint?
758
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,480
I'm going to join you, mate.
759
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,120
Uh-oh!
Ohhh!
760
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,000
The thing is, is, human is nature.
761
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,520
This is an interesting issue.
Was the cameraman garb,
762
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,960
which was basically just a camera
and a hat,
763
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:57,040
does that count as natural things
that Jamali found around the place
764
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,040
left naturally by the animal,
the human being,
765
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,280
that was hanging out
making a TV show?
766
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,440
Let me go and cut some fruit down
from the camera tree over there.
767
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:09,320
I think what I have to say
at this point, the key difference
768
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,080
with what you did
and everyone else is, I think,
769
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,720
given another half an hour,
you would have found Toussaint,
770
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,320
you would have found Lou.
771
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,760
I think
you would never have been found.
772
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:21,680
You all successfully hid.
773
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:23,880
You also were all
successfully found,
774
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:25,880
therefore you all get
775
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,840
the camouflage badge.
776
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:29,600
JESSICA:
Wow, OK.
777
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:33,040
The next badge
is the camp anthem badge.
778
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,680
Oh, shit.
Oh, great.
779
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,000
Camp Anthem, I was genuinely moved.
780
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,040
I was genuinely... I thought...
Come on!
781
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:47,960
To cover up your ears, or...
Honestly, no.
782
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:51,600
I thought the camp anthem thing,
I thought they were all brilliant.
783
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,880
And I felt this is a horrendously
unfair thing to do.
784
00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,680
Can I just say, time of my life.
I absolutely loved it.
785
00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:00,640
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it,
but you know, but I thought
786
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,480
this would be my worst nightmare,
and I thought they were all
787
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,480
funny and moving.
788
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,920
Wow!
Wow.
And I thought,
these are great people.
789
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:15,400
So before any more discussion,
well done, all of you.
790
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,040
You get a badge.
Yes!
791
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,760
Amazing.
I cannot believe we got that badge.
792
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,720
LOU:
No, I'm surprised
you got that badge.
793
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,520
Next up, it's the sewing badge.
794
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,200
We'll start with Jess and Jamali.
795
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,160
OK. There we are.
796
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,880
First reactions
from the other teams.
797
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,560
My first thought is
We Three Tents of Orange, We Are.
798
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:47,520
That's what just came.
Very nice.
799
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,280
KERRY:
It's our three tents.
800
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,640
These are the tents.
I like the idea behind it.
801
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,720
Yeah, the three orange triangles
is great.
802
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,480
Some of the... I mean,
it's quite puckered at the corner,
803
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,040
I'd say, and I'm slightly angry
to find that we've all got
804
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:00,760
such different sized tents.
805
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:03,880
Well, maybe this one's closer.
806
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,600
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
807
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,880
So I like the three triangles.
It's good.
808
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,720
I mean, it doesn't mean anything
general
809
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,360
because it's just
a map of the tents.
810
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,640
At the same time,
it's quite an arresting image.
811
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,760
I don't think this is the best way
of representing the importance
812
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:21,760
of food and sex and nature,
but I do agree that
813
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,680
food and sex and nature
are important.
814
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:25,080
I don't know how this played out.
815
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,160
I'm going to suggest that Jess
did the tents
816
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,600
and then Jamali was left with
that bottom corner.
817
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:30,960
Pretty much, yeah.
818
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,960
When do you think my response to
Jamali sewing a knife...
819
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,360
ALL:
"Jamali!"
820
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:40,760
"Jamali, don't put t'rubber johnny
on t'flag!"
821
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:45,680
Jamali says that all he hears
all day is just, "Jamali!"
822
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,720
"Jamali, stop!"
823
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:52,480
That's exactly what she says.
824
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:56,160
All right. Let's have a look now
at Lou and Ed's flag.
825
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,400
First reactions, Jess, Jamali?
Good stitch work.
826
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,920
I love it.
Why has the face
got no eyes and nose?
827
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,000
LOU:
Because it looked better
as an emblem.
828
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,920
It's a silhouette.
I thought it was an acorn.
829
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,920
No, no, no.
Well, it's David Mitchell.
830
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,920
So it's the acorn of gentlemen.
Clearly.
831
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,800
So that's me, which obviously I'm
very flattered to be included.
832
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:15,000
Thank you.
833
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,040
That's...
Dove of peace,
including a real twig.
834
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,280
Nice twig work.
835
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,160
Tree of life.
That's agriculture.
Tree of life/broccoli.
836
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,440
Tree/broccoli of life.
837
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:26,120
Heart for love.
Yeah, of course.
838
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,560
And a dagger for war.
839
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,760
I think Jamali and Jess's flag,
it included all of us,
840
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,280
and it wasn't just for David.
841
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,200
It was about the nucleus
of the family.
842
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:37,080
Oh, mate, that one's way better
than our shit. Come on.
843
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,800
You know, we are...
844
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,120
We are allowed to just simplify it
and go,
845
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,800
the other flag had a knife
and fork tied to it.
846
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,320
And that's a bit wrong.
847
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,000
We could just go, hang on.
848
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,480
And there is a knife on that one.
849
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,080
Imagine if you're a new country,
you're a bit of Czechoslovakia
850
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,480
and you're just launching
and the designer comes in.
851
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,760
"Nice design."
"Yeah, and then I thought
852
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,440
"I'd tie a knife and fork to it."
853
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,920
And they go, "So you imagine
there'll be a knife and fork
854
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,560
"on all of the ones
on all the town halls and everything
855
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,400
"and all of the army
and the battleships?"
856
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,920
"Yeah, we'll need
quite a lot of knives and forks."
857
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,560
And condoms!
Imagine how handy
that's going to be, though.
858
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:12,720
Imagine how great that is.
859
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,360
It's like, "Oh, I haven't got
my cutlery, but..."
860
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,640
Yeah, once.
One lunch at the town hall.
861
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,080
"Oh, we'll use the one on the flag."
The next day,
862
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,920
"Who took the ones on the..."
863
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,600
We're going to the third flag now.
864
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:26,640
This is Kerry and Toussaint's flag.
865
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,640
I remember how much you laid into
our flag, Toussaint.
I didn't.
866
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,360
So strap in.
I didn't.
That's true.
867
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,200
Oh, hang on, I've just seen Kerry!
868
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,000
Oh, you immediately
recognised Kerry?
869
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,840
So, I can talk, I can...
Yeah, please.
870
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,280
You've sewn a lot on.
871
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,880
You've got a lot done in the time.
A
good flag is about symbolism, right?
872
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,800
It's got to represent something.
873
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:54,320
And to me, it's about coming
together around the campfire,
874
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:58,160
putting our differences aside.
Yes.
And chucking them on the fire
875
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,080
and just saying yes.
ED:
I love that sentiment.
876
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,080
But on the flag,
it doesn't seem like
877
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,080
you're coming together in any way.
878
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,360
It seems like one of you is happy
and one of you is Kerry.
879
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,160
Jamali, you were about to say...?
880
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,000
I think all the flags are bad,
to be honest with you.
881
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,960
I mean that.
I think they're all terrible.
882
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,200
I don't...
I think no-one deserves anything.
883
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:20,480
We should wrap this up early.
884
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,880
Yes, you know, that's a sort of...
885
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:26,960
I mean, it's a kind of vacuous
message that people can get behind.
886
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,960
What's it going to be, babe?
887
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:31,400
Well, the first thing to say is that
888
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:36,360
these flags are going to be erected
above your sections of the camp.
889
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,520
You might want to get the
knife and fork down off it.
890
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,440
And who knows, maybe the condom too.
891
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:45,760
For me, there is a clear
best flag and best sewing.
892
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,880
No, no!
The only badge
for this round goes to...
893
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,560
Kerry and Toussaint!
894
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,760
Oh, mate!
895
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,360
LOU:
That's mad!
ED:
You know that's mad.
896
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,720
Yes!
I'm sorry, that's...
897
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,800
That's mad.
That's mad.
You think it's mad?
898
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:07,240
You've absolutely lost your mind,
David.
You're batshit crazy.
899
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:11,240
Do you know what as well?
Shall I tell you something else mad?
900
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:13,400
I prefer theirs to yours.
901
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,280
That is mad.
902
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,040
You came third.
903
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:21,560
OK, so the scores
of the night are...
904
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:25,880
Jess and Jamali and Ed and Lou
have got two badges each
905
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:29,640
and Kerry and Toussaint have won
all three badges today.
906
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,360
Yes!
907
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,040
Wow.
908
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:38,000
OK, now if I text my wife now,
she can open a bottle of wine
909
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,720
and it'll have breathed by the time
I get home.
910
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,640
So that's... OK.
911
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,080
Thanks very much.
Night, David.
912
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,360
Goodnight, David.
913
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,920
Get home safe.
Thank you.
914
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:48,600
You mad
BLEEP.
915
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,320
I heard that!
916
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,480
Today I was bullied at work, darling.
917
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,320
Aargh! Pervert alert!
918
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,200
When camping,
you should wear a nappy.
919
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:06,080
Then you haven't got to get up five
times in the night to go to the loo.
920
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,160
You're on TV.
Oh, yeah. Oh, look.
921
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,680
From Peep Show.
Jeremy, you idiot!
922
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,640
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