All language subtitles for Up Pompeii. - S1E5 - The actors

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,127 --> 00:00:19,127 www.titlovi.com 2 00:00:22,127 --> 00:00:24,197 All right, all right, all right! 3 00:00:24,847 --> 00:00:27,839 Stuff them yourselves. Stuff them yourselves. 4 00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:29,801 Damned olives. 5 00:00:32,127 --> 00:00:34,197 Well, they eat them here by the ton. 6 00:00:34,287 --> 00:00:37,996 Now, greetings, good citizens. The prologue. 7 00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:39,486 Now... Ooh! 8 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,998 It's cold tonight. Now. 9 00:00:44,847 --> 00:00:46,041 The prologue. 10 00:00:46,607 --> 00:00:51,044 Our story tonight is taken from Medusa. 11 00:00:51,127 --> 00:00:53,925 Medusa and the Gorgons. The Gorgons. 12 00:00:54,207 --> 00:00:56,641 Now, you've all heard of the Gorgons. The Gorgons. 13 00:00:56,727 --> 00:01:00,800 A very famous family, the Gorgons. There was Gorgon Richards, or course. 14 00:01:00,887 --> 00:01:02,923 And there was Gorgon of Khartoum. 15 00:01:03,007 --> 00:01:06,397 And of course there was Emile Zola's brother, Gorgon Zola. 16 00:01:06,487 --> 00:01:08,239 Now, then... 17 00:01:08,687 --> 00:01:10,803 What do you expect, wit? 18 00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:13,447 You'll be disappointed tonight. Now. 19 00:01:13,927 --> 00:01:18,478 Now, also, the most famous of these was, of course, Medusa. Medusa Gorgon. 20 00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:21,155 And the trouble was... A very sad case. 21 00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:25,276 Poor woman. Because, you see, she didn't have hair. 22 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,925 Didn't have hair like ordinary women. 23 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:31,125 Oh, no, no. No, actually, she had serpents growing out of her head. 24 00:01:31,287 --> 00:01:34,882 All serpents growing out of her head. Yes. And, of course, this was a handicap. 25 00:01:34,967 --> 00:01:38,642 Well, I mean, you go and try to make an appointment at the hairdresser's, because... 26 00:01:38,727 --> 00:01:42,640 It's the only case I know where the customer stings the hairdresser. 27 00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:43,876 But... 28 00:01:46,327 --> 00:01:49,797 Oh, just a little one. Just a whimsy, that joke. But, erm... 29 00:01:49,887 --> 00:01:51,559 This part of Medusa, with the serpents... 30 00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:54,923 You see... As you can imagine, we couldn't find anyone to play this part. 31 00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:59,046 It's very difficult, you know. But we hunted high and low and eventually 32 00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:01,841 we came across this little old lady 33 00:02:01,927 --> 00:02:03,883 who was sitting on the Po. 34 00:02:03,967 --> 00:02:05,195 Now... 35 00:02:06,487 --> 00:02:08,239 She'd settled there. 36 00:02:09,447 --> 00:02:12,803 On the Po, which, of course, is a river in Italy. 37 00:02:15,207 --> 00:02:17,880 And she was in this cave, 38 00:02:18,087 --> 00:02:19,315 in this cave. 39 00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,406 And she had all these snakes, all wriggling. 40 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,759 You see. Of course, it was a godsend to us to find her, you can imagine. 41 00:02:25,847 --> 00:02:28,361 And she's going to play the... Are you there, dear? 42 00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:31,405 You all right, love? Yes, okay. I won't be long now. 43 00:02:31,607 --> 00:02:34,440 Keep your snakes wriggling, dear. We shan't be too long, now. 44 00:02:34,527 --> 00:02:37,325 Comb them while we're waiting. Yes, keep them... 45 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,637 Keep them writhing. That's the main thing, poor soul. 46 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,321 You're all right? Poor soul. 47 00:02:42,407 --> 00:02:46,002 Still... No, don't laugh. But it's... No, it's wicked to mock the afflicted. 48 00:02:46,087 --> 00:02:47,202 No, well... 49 00:02:47,287 --> 00:02:50,085 Yeah, well, it's 'cause she's very excited. This is her first part, you see. 50 00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:51,282 Won't keep you long. 51 00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:55,804 - All right. Now, Medusa and the Gorgons... - Lurcio, Lurcio, where are you? 52 00:02:55,887 --> 00:03:00,597 This is Nausius. This is my master's young son. Strange boy. 53 00:03:01,047 --> 00:03:03,845 Peculiar boy. Very shy. Ever so shy. 54 00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:09,196 Well, I think he's on his way to the public baths. I think he's lost his fig leaf. 55 00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:13,162 Yeah, well, he's always losing it. It's such a small one. 56 00:03:13,807 --> 00:03:16,719 Lurcio, Lurcio, have you heard the wonderful news? 57 00:03:16,807 --> 00:03:18,206 It's grown? 58 00:03:19,727 --> 00:03:23,640 Look. The Olympia Theatre Company is here in Pompeii. 59 00:03:23,727 --> 00:03:25,285 Oh, the Olympia Theatre Company. 60 00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,198 Oh, I'm beside myself with joy. 61 00:03:27,287 --> 00:03:30,836 Wouldn't you be more comfortable with joy in the middle? 62 00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:33,157 - Oh, Lurcio. I saw them in Stygia. - Yeah. 63 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,636 In Stygia? Did ya? 64 00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:38,477 - Now... - There was a young girl in the company. 65 00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:40,523 - There was a what? - A young girl in the company... 66 00:03:40,607 --> 00:03:42,086 - Yes, master? - ...called Hernia. 67 00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:43,725 Hernia. Oh. 68 00:03:44,207 --> 00:03:46,163 What a pretty name. Hernia. 69 00:03:46,247 --> 00:03:48,966 I went round to see her after the show, 70 00:03:49,047 --> 00:03:51,277 - and we got together. - Did you really? 71 00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:53,483 One night I saw her Medea. 72 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,239 Did you... Pardon? 73 00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:58,000 - I saw her Medea. - Medea? 74 00:03:58,087 --> 00:03:59,964 Oh, yes, weren't you lucky. 75 00:04:00,047 --> 00:04:02,845 - It's a very well-known part, Lurcio. - Oh, I know. 76 00:04:03,447 --> 00:04:06,086 It's the most famous part in Greece. Oh, I know. 77 00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:08,886 Oh, Lurcio, she did it beautifully. 78 00:04:08,967 --> 00:04:11,197 Did she? Oh, I'm glad you were satisfied. 79 00:04:11,287 --> 00:04:15,439 I was carried away. -Yes, well, it can take it out of you, I know. 80 00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:18,921 I came straight home and wrote this ode to her. 81 00:04:19,007 --> 00:04:21,157 - Oh, the ode. - It's here on this tablet. 82 00:04:21,247 --> 00:04:24,159 Ah, it's time for the tablet. Ah, well, yes. 83 00:04:24,247 --> 00:04:26,807 Ode To Hernia. Oh, isn't this pretty. 84 00:04:27,327 --> 00:04:30,763 "Oh, Hernia, she with the golden tresses 85 00:04:31,007 --> 00:04:33,805 And figure like a young goddess's 86 00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:37,721 With heavenly eyes that spark like crystals 87 00:04:37,887 --> 00:04:40,879 And a truly wondrous pair..." Er, hello. 88 00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,036 Get ready. 89 00:04:45,887 --> 00:04:48,321 "A truly wondrous pair of legs" 90 00:04:48,967 --> 00:04:51,959 - I'm afraid I was lost for a rhyme, there. - A rhyme. 91 00:04:52,047 --> 00:04:55,119 Hear now a pithy couplet from Plautus. 92 00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:59,277 "With heavenly eyes that sparked like crystals 93 00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:03,078 No small wonder that where e'er she lurcheth 94 00:05:03,527 --> 00:05:07,406 She is the recipient of excited whis-tles" 95 00:05:07,527 --> 00:05:10,678 Oh, isn't that shocking? I could do better than that myself. 96 00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,519 Now, try this one. 97 00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:16,277 "With eyes as keen as Sir Walter Raleigh's 98 00:05:16,487 --> 00:05:19,126 She had a truly wondrous pair..." No, no. 99 00:05:19,967 --> 00:05:20,956 No. 100 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:24,840 That doesn't rhyme with legs either, does it? No. 101 00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:26,645 - Quite right. - Oh, never mind, Lurcio. 102 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,718 I must at once to the hippodrome and book me a seat. 103 00:05:28,807 --> 00:05:30,206 Yes, ah, yes. 104 00:05:30,287 --> 00:05:33,085 - Oh, Hernia. Hernia. - Ah. 105 00:05:33,727 --> 00:05:36,480 Hernia. At first, careless rupture. 106 00:05:38,807 --> 00:05:41,321 Now, back... The prologue. 107 00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:43,318 Medusa of the Gorgons. 108 00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:44,920 Now, are you still there, dear? 109 00:05:45,007 --> 00:05:47,680 You're all right, are you? I'm sorry to keep you waiting. It won't be long. 110 00:05:47,767 --> 00:05:50,235 I'm just doing the prologue, dear. That's right. 111 00:05:50,327 --> 00:05:51,840 Are your serpents all right? 112 00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:55,078 If they're getting restless, take them to the Serpentine. 113 00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:57,721 Yes, that's right. Let them have a paddle. 114 00:05:57,807 --> 00:06:03,359 - Now... - Woe, woe, woe and thrice woe! 115 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,484 Oh, dear, she is a misery. This is the soothsayer, Senna. 116 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,444 One of the fun people. 117 00:06:08,847 --> 00:06:12,123 A curse on those immoral actors. I spit on them. 118 00:06:12,207 --> 00:06:14,038 Oh, a critic, too. 119 00:06:15,127 --> 00:06:19,723 I have been given a sign. A great bird will be sent down from the gods. 120 00:06:19,807 --> 00:06:23,720 Ah, well. We're used to the bird from the gods, so we're all right. 121 00:06:23,887 --> 00:06:26,560 The day of judgement is near. 122 00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,923 Woe, woe and thrice woe! 123 00:06:30,007 --> 00:06:33,886 And there you have it. There's no business like woe business. 124 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:37,245 Oh. Silly old bag. 125 00:06:38,327 --> 00:06:41,603 She's a real misery. Well, I think it's wrong to knock the theatre like that, don't you? 126 00:06:41,687 --> 00:06:43,359 It's wrong. I love the theatre, don't you? 127 00:06:43,447 --> 00:06:46,120 Oh, I do. I love the theatre. All those Greek tragedies. 128 00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:49,165 Those Greek tragedies like, you know, Lysistrata, 129 00:06:49,287 --> 00:06:51,437 and Oedipus, Oedipus, 130 00:06:51,527 --> 00:06:55,236 and Never On Sunday. Oh, I like anything like that. 131 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:59,115 Oh, I do. I like anything like that, I do. 'Cause I'm actually... 132 00:06:59,247 --> 00:07:02,922 I'm a bit of a thespian myself, you know. I am. Thespian. 133 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:10,123 You're thinking of one of those strange ladies, dear. Thespian. 134 00:07:10,487 --> 00:07:13,923 Oh, yeah, I can act. I can act. Listen, listen, listen. 135 00:07:14,007 --> 00:07:18,842 Ah-ha! "See what light through yonder window breaks?" 136 00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:23,726 "Oh, the quality of mercy is not strain'd." 137 00:07:24,207 --> 00:07:26,641 "Is this a dagger that I see before me?" 138 00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:29,086 "Oh, Oedipus. 139 00:07:29,327 --> 00:07:34,196 Oh, de puss has done something on the mat. Oh. 140 00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:39,283 Oh, wicked puss." Ah, that shook you, didn't it? Ah, yes. 141 00:07:39,447 --> 00:07:42,359 We're not just a bunch of ignorant peasants here in Pompeii... 142 00:07:43,287 --> 00:07:45,084 - Lurcio. Lurcio. - Yes, mistress? 143 00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:49,922 I want you to come and cut my toenails for me as soon as I'm in the bath. 144 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,558 As I was saying, we're not just... 145 00:07:52,647 --> 00:07:55,844 We're not just a bunch of ignorant peasants here, you know. 146 00:07:55,927 --> 00:07:57,918 Some of the best people are ignorant as well. 147 00:07:58,007 --> 00:08:00,680 Now, I mean, fancy cutting her toenails in the bath. 148 00:08:00,767 --> 00:08:02,837 It's the acme of dead commonness. 149 00:08:03,527 --> 00:08:06,758 Why she can't... Why can't she do it in bed like decent people do? 150 00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:09,720 The stage is right this way. 151 00:08:09,807 --> 00:08:11,763 Strangers approacheth! 152 00:08:12,287 --> 00:08:16,565 God, how I hate touring. Ah, let's rest. 153 00:08:17,967 --> 00:08:21,164 These are the actors. This is the theatre. The actors, you see. 154 00:08:21,247 --> 00:08:24,523 You can tell that by the way they keep ducking their heads. Look. 155 00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:26,564 Oh, this is my big chance. 156 00:08:26,647 --> 00:08:30,037 I'll hang around here. Perhaps I shall get a chance to show my talent. 157 00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:34,245 Perhaps they'll buy my freedom and invite me to join their company. 158 00:08:34,327 --> 00:08:37,239 Ah, actors. That's the life for me. 159 00:08:37,607 --> 00:08:39,484 Touring strange countries, 160 00:08:39,567 --> 00:08:41,364 eating strange foods, 161 00:08:41,447 --> 00:08:44,439 making strange noises afterwards. Oh, yes. 162 00:08:45,087 --> 00:08:47,282 So this is Pompeii. What a dump. 163 00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,562 Oh, it's not so bad, Hermione. 164 00:08:49,647 --> 00:08:52,923 Not so bad? The best thing that could happen here would be a volcanic eruption. 165 00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:55,840 Now, you see, that... That one. That's Hermione. 166 00:08:56,007 --> 00:08:59,636 Now, she's the great dramatic actress, and she's the leader of the troupe. 167 00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:03,601 Now, they do say, they're the biggest drawers in the theatre. 168 00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:08,325 Well, however big they are, I'm sure she can fill them. 169 00:09:09,087 --> 00:09:11,681 Cheer up. Think of the performance tonight. 170 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,122 Think only of what a success you will be. 171 00:09:14,207 --> 00:09:15,526 A success? 172 00:09:15,607 --> 00:09:20,681 Why, even Hermione the divine couldn't be a success with a drunken husband 173 00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,485 as her leading man. 174 00:09:22,727 --> 00:09:25,287 Cuspidor will be all right on the night, I'm sure. 175 00:09:25,367 --> 00:09:26,925 Oh, he'd better be. 176 00:09:27,007 --> 00:09:29,760 He was pie-eyed in Padua, cooked in Crete, 177 00:09:29,847 --> 00:09:32,805 and absolutely stoned in Smyrna. 178 00:09:32,887 --> 00:09:35,117 Well, you can guess what he was like in Pisa. 179 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,041 He was leaning. Leaning. 180 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:45,563 Oh, look at him. Our matinee idol. 181 00:09:46,007 --> 00:09:49,044 One matinee and idle for the rest of the week. 182 00:09:50,407 --> 00:09:52,443 - Here, you. - Me, madam? 183 00:09:52,527 --> 00:09:54,563 Yes, you with the low-slung face. 184 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,765 Oh, yes. 185 00:09:56,847 --> 00:10:01,079 I can mention a couple of things of hers which are pretty low-slung as well. 186 00:10:01,287 --> 00:10:04,279 - Yes. - Tell me the way to the hippodrome theatre. 187 00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:07,518 Ah, this is my big chance. My big chance. Ah, madam. 188 00:10:07,647 --> 00:10:13,643 Yes. "See what light through yonder window breaks." 189 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:17,202 It is the hippodrome theatre. 190 00:10:17,287 --> 00:10:21,280 And therein, Juliet is the cloakroom attendant. 191 00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:25,440 Ah, yes. Juliet, Juliet. Alas, I knew her well. 192 00:10:25,527 --> 00:10:29,202 I knew her well. I often dipped my bucket there. 193 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,676 That's all we needed. Somebody who still thinks that opportunity knocks. 194 00:10:34,807 --> 00:10:36,798 Oh, I'm sorry, madam. I'm afraid that... 195 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,037 Well, I couldn't hold myself back. 196 00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:40,885 My acting talent came out. 197 00:10:40,967 --> 00:10:42,798 Are you a mummer, too? 198 00:10:42,887 --> 00:10:46,277 How dare you! I'm not even married. 199 00:10:47,327 --> 00:10:49,636 - Come along everyone. - Wait, wait, wait. 200 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:52,804 Farewell, farewell and thrice farewell. 201 00:10:52,887 --> 00:10:57,802 "Oh, parting is such sweet sorrow." 202 00:10:58,127 --> 00:11:00,846 In the words of the poet, Socrates, 203 00:11:01,447 --> 00:11:04,519 "Goodbye-ee, don't sigh-ee 204 00:11:04,727 --> 00:11:08,686 wipe a tear, baby dear 205 00:11:08,807 --> 00:11:10,286 from your eye-ee" 206 00:11:10,727 --> 00:11:13,446 - We'll let you know. - Thank you. 207 00:11:13,927 --> 00:11:17,124 - Excuse me. - Hello. Here he is. Lee Marvin. 208 00:11:18,607 --> 00:11:21,246 Could you tell me where I could get a quick... 209 00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:24,916 Well, I don't think there is one near here. 210 00:11:25,007 --> 00:11:29,239 Let me see, where's the nearest one. Is it urgent? -Yes, I must have one. 211 00:11:29,327 --> 00:11:32,125 Well, I know how you feel... 212 00:11:33,087 --> 00:11:35,078 Oh. Nip down that alley there, you see, 213 00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:37,840 you'll see the Oxen and Bush. I'm sure they'll sell you a bottle there. 214 00:11:37,927 --> 00:11:39,440 - Thank you very much. - You're very welcome. 215 00:11:39,527 --> 00:11:42,724 Good afternoon. Nice to have met you. Oops. Oh, look, there he goes. 216 00:11:42,807 --> 00:11:45,719 I bet he was... He was plastered in Paris, as well. 217 00:11:46,727 --> 00:11:50,481 I tell you, I wouldn't demean myself acting with a bunch of actors like that. 218 00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:52,205 Oh, I wouldn't do it. 219 00:11:52,287 --> 00:11:55,518 What? I had a better cast when I broke my leg. 220 00:11:57,447 --> 00:12:00,678 Come on, don't doze off. You're dozing off, now. 221 00:12:02,047 --> 00:12:04,117 Medusa and the Gorgons. 222 00:12:04,487 --> 00:12:05,966 You still there, dear? 223 00:12:06,047 --> 00:12:09,119 Shan't keep you long, love. I'm ever so sorry. We're a bit delayed. 224 00:12:09,207 --> 00:12:10,959 Yes. The serpents... 225 00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:15,916 Take your serpents out for a walk. Oh, well. On your head be it. 226 00:12:17,727 --> 00:12:22,642 Lurcio, Lurcio, where are you? -Oh, dear, my mistress. I'd forgotten all about her. 227 00:12:22,727 --> 00:12:25,036 Lurcio, quickly, I'm ready for it. 228 00:12:29,287 --> 00:12:31,403 You can say that again. She's always ready for it. 229 00:12:32,407 --> 00:12:36,036 Do you know, it's no secret, she's known around here as second hand? 230 00:12:36,127 --> 00:12:39,597 Second hand. Because she keeps going all 'round the clock. 231 00:12:42,327 --> 00:12:44,204 Yes. Oh, I must, I better go in. 232 00:12:44,287 --> 00:12:46,801 Missus. I'll go in now and do this next scene, you see. 233 00:12:46,887 --> 00:12:49,720 Keep your serpents writhing, poor soul. 234 00:12:52,007 --> 00:12:55,317 - There we are, mistress. - Oh, Lurcio, have you got the cutters? 235 00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,965 Yes, mistress. Here they are. 236 00:12:59,327 --> 00:13:01,841 There. Now, shall we commence? 237 00:13:01,927 --> 00:13:06,717 Yes. And when you've finished, Lurcio, there's something I want you to do for me. 238 00:13:07,927 --> 00:13:12,842 You see what I mean? She's insatiable. All right. Short back and front, as usual. 239 00:13:13,327 --> 00:13:16,717 Lurcio, I want you to take a note down to the hippodrome, for me, 240 00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:19,605 - to an actor called Cuspidor. - Cuspidor? 241 00:13:19,767 --> 00:13:22,201 - Oh, you don't know him, do you, mistress? - Oh, yes. 242 00:13:22,287 --> 00:13:24,676 Oh. Well, Lurcio, I did. 243 00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,246 - Ah. - Ten years ago. 244 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,204 Lurcio, what a man. 245 00:13:28,287 --> 00:13:31,836 Now, there's someone with real red blood in his veins. 246 00:13:32,247 --> 00:13:36,035 Well, it might have been red blood then. It's Red Biddy now. 247 00:13:37,167 --> 00:13:39,078 Oh, dear Cuspidor. 248 00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:42,842 Yes, he was helping me with a charity show at the time, and I remember afterwards. 249 00:13:42,967 --> 00:13:45,879 - Oh, Lurcio. What a performer. - Yes. 250 00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:49,642 Yes. You're not a bad one, yourself, from what I've heard, mistress. 251 00:13:49,807 --> 00:13:53,322 Oh, yes, dear Cuspidor. I can't wait to see him again. 252 00:13:53,447 --> 00:13:55,597 Oh, but Lurcio, please don't tell my husband. 253 00:13:55,687 --> 00:13:58,759 I don't think he'll understand. -No, mistress. Oh, no. Of course not, mistress. 254 00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:01,919 Oh, not... Not that I intend to do anything wrong with Cuspidor. 255 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:05,158 Oh, no, I'm sure you'll do everything right. You should do. 256 00:14:05,247 --> 00:14:06,885 You've had enough practice. 257 00:14:08,127 --> 00:14:11,358 But I always think, Lurcio, I do have to think of our position. 258 00:14:11,447 --> 00:14:14,200 Oh, it's half the battle, isn't it? Yes. 259 00:14:15,687 --> 00:14:19,475 Well, that one's finished. Yes, now how about the other? 260 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,125 Do we have time? 261 00:14:23,727 --> 00:14:27,083 - The other foot, mistress. - Oh, just a minute, Lurcio. 262 00:14:27,207 --> 00:14:28,322 - Lurcio. - What. 263 00:14:28,447 --> 00:14:29,926 - It's stuck. Yes. - Is it? 264 00:14:30,007 --> 00:14:32,475 Allow me. I think... Oh, I think... Here it is. 265 00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,603 - Oh! - Oh, I beg your pardon. 266 00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:36,803 No, don't apologise. 267 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,120 Oh, here it is, yes. 268 00:14:42,207 --> 00:14:43,640 No, no, Lurcio, oh! 269 00:14:43,727 --> 00:14:45,399 Oh, no, it's no good. It's stuck, Lurcio. 270 00:14:45,487 --> 00:14:48,081 You really will have to do something about this asses' milk. 271 00:14:48,247 --> 00:14:50,238 This asses' milk. Yes, mistress. 272 00:14:50,407 --> 00:14:52,716 I must order up another vat. Another vat. 273 00:14:52,807 --> 00:14:55,685 Look, all this has turned to yoghurt. Look at this. 274 00:14:57,727 --> 00:15:02,676 Here, look, look, look, look, look. Get back, get back! 275 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,158 You don't miss a chance, do you? 276 00:15:06,607 --> 00:15:09,075 You're worse than the studio staff. 277 00:15:09,687 --> 00:15:11,484 Now... Oh, look, look. 278 00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:13,797 She's got... She's got nothing on. 279 00:15:13,887 --> 00:15:17,084 No, my life. Nothing on at all. No. Not a stitch. 280 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:20,000 Well, I tell a lie. She has got a stitch. There is a stitch. 281 00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,362 That must be where she had her operation. 282 00:15:23,127 --> 00:15:24,719 Who did it, missus? 283 00:15:25,127 --> 00:15:28,164 Oh, yes. Well, he is a cut above the others. 284 00:15:28,607 --> 00:15:32,759 He's a cut above... Come on. Try and force yourselves. 285 00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:35,164 It is a well-known fact 286 00:15:35,247 --> 00:15:37,761 that surgery in pre-Roman times 287 00:15:37,847 --> 00:15:40,964 began when Hercules had his finger taken out. 288 00:15:45,327 --> 00:15:49,445 Well, here we are. That's my mistress done. There we are. 289 00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:53,958 Now, the prologue. 290 00:15:55,327 --> 00:15:57,557 Medusa of the Gorgons. 291 00:15:57,647 --> 00:16:00,081 Are you still there, love? Is she still there? 292 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,761 I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, dear. 293 00:16:02,847 --> 00:16:05,680 We'll be on in a second. It won't be long now, yes. 294 00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:08,804 Keep your serpents writhing, that's the main thing. 295 00:16:08,887 --> 00:16:10,843 Lurcio, where are you? Lurcio! 296 00:16:10,927 --> 00:16:15,045 Oh, I simply don't understand him. He's never here when he's elsewhere. 297 00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:17,357 Oh, there you are, Lurcio. 298 00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:19,677 - What are you doing? - Well, I was doing the prologue, master. 299 00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,485 You see, Medusa and the Gorgons. 300 00:16:21,567 --> 00:16:23,398 No, no, that's not important now, Lurcio. 301 00:16:23,487 --> 00:16:26,001 Something much more important. Have you seen this? 302 00:16:26,087 --> 00:16:28,317 Oh, yes. This is the theatre pamphlet. 303 00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,166 Yes, yes, and have you seen who's playing in it? 304 00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:32,959 - Oh, Hermione. - Hermione! 305 00:16:33,047 --> 00:16:34,400 Do you know her, master? 306 00:16:36,727 --> 00:16:38,240 Did he say anything there? 307 00:16:38,327 --> 00:16:41,558 Do that again. That's good, I like that bit. 308 00:16:41,727 --> 00:16:45,640 Do I know her? I was her most ardent admirer. -Were you? 309 00:16:45,727 --> 00:16:48,241 - I was the president of her fan club. - Ah. 310 00:16:48,927 --> 00:16:51,885 - I composed the fan club chant. - What was that? 311 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,276 "Hermione, terminus est. " 312 00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,925 Oh, dear, please. 313 00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:58,521 We nearly saw your terminus there, master. 314 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:00,486 I beg your pardon. 315 00:17:00,607 --> 00:17:03,565 But Hermione terminus est. 316 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,877 - Which means? - Hermione is the end. 317 00:17:06,007 --> 00:17:08,999 Yes. You should see her terminus now, master. 318 00:17:09,087 --> 00:17:11,840 It's bigger than her fan club, I'm sorry to say. 319 00:17:12,247 --> 00:17:16,035 Oh, what a woman, Lurcio. 320 00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,961 I can't tell you what she did to me. 321 00:17:19,047 --> 00:17:20,719 Can't you? Oh. 322 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:24,482 Well... Well, write it down. I'll read it in bed tonight. 323 00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:27,635 Oh, those slim legs, 324 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,838 those magnificent hips, 325 00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:32,561 that tiny waist, and those... 326 00:17:34,967 --> 00:17:36,605 I can't go on. 327 00:17:37,007 --> 00:17:39,726 What a funny place to stop, I must say. 328 00:17:40,367 --> 00:17:42,801 You can tell he's a self-made man. 329 00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:46,085 Started at the bottom. Worked his way up. 330 00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:49,282 - Oh, Lurcio, Lurcio. - Yes, master. 331 00:17:49,367 --> 00:17:52,803 I would like to go to the theatre again and see her tonight. 332 00:17:52,887 --> 00:17:55,959 But I'm afraid my wife wouldn't understand. 333 00:17:56,047 --> 00:17:57,605 Hello, here we go. Here we go again. 334 00:17:57,687 --> 00:18:01,282 I wonder if you'll pop down to the hippodrome and get me a ticket. 335 00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:03,562 Yes, master, yes. I'll get you a ticket. 336 00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,444 When I take the note from the... 337 00:18:05,527 --> 00:18:07,757 Note, note, what note? 338 00:18:07,847 --> 00:18:10,042 Well, the note from the... Well. 339 00:18:10,127 --> 00:18:13,881 You must send a note to tell her you're coming along, mustn't you? 340 00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:15,640 I love this bit. 341 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,845 That's good, isn't it? This bit. 342 00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:19,679 Let's do it again. Come on. 343 00:18:21,007 --> 00:18:24,522 I wish to God he was sitting in the audience, I'll tell you that. 344 00:18:24,847 --> 00:18:27,919 No, no, no. No, Lurcio, do you think I dare? 345 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,237 - Yes. Yes, master. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 346 00:18:30,327 --> 00:18:33,717 No, no, no, no. Hermione would never remember me. 347 00:18:33,807 --> 00:18:36,116 Oh, you're unforgettable, master. 348 00:18:36,247 --> 00:18:38,522 Oh. Oh, no, no, no, no. 349 00:18:38,607 --> 00:18:41,599 I was only one amongst 1,000 admirers. 350 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,281 Just a ship that passed in the night. 351 00:18:44,407 --> 00:18:48,036 Ah, pity. What a pity you didn't put into port for a bit. 352 00:18:49,527 --> 00:18:52,644 There were very good berthing facilities there. 353 00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:56,646 Yes, let's have one for the road. Come on. 354 00:18:57,247 --> 00:18:59,477 It is a well-known fact 355 00:18:59,767 --> 00:19:03,555 that Roman ladies were more than partial to sailors. 356 00:19:03,687 --> 00:19:07,157 Indeed, every Roman galley had three rows of oars. 357 00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:14,327 - Half an hour, please. - Half an hour, please. 358 00:19:16,687 --> 00:19:18,439 Half an hour, please. 359 00:19:21,567 --> 00:19:23,239 Yes, who is it? 360 00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:27,206 It's me, Hernia. I thought you ought to know, Cuspidor's gone. 361 00:19:27,287 --> 00:19:28,436 What? 362 00:19:30,047 --> 00:19:32,766 - Is he not in his dressing room? - I don't think so. 363 00:19:32,847 --> 00:19:35,202 Jove's curse on the wretch! 364 00:19:36,247 --> 00:19:40,479 He's at the bottle again. The dirty, rotten drunkard. 365 00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:45,486 Oh, there you are, Madam Hermione. 366 00:19:45,607 --> 00:19:49,077 I'm afraid I must inform you, I've just bespied your beloved husband 367 00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:52,443 lying flat on his back in the public bar of the Oxen and Bush. 368 00:19:52,527 --> 00:19:55,758 Oh, the poor darling. It must be his malaria again. 369 00:19:56,007 --> 00:19:59,556 Malaria? Don't make me laugh. 370 00:19:59,887 --> 00:20:02,685 He's stoned out of his tiny, Grecian mind. 371 00:20:02,807 --> 00:20:06,402 Thirty-five years I've been a theatre manager. I've never known anything like it. 372 00:20:06,487 --> 00:20:09,559 Then you'll just have to cancel tonight's performance. 373 00:20:09,807 --> 00:20:11,604 What? With the box office sold out? 374 00:20:11,687 --> 00:20:13,120 You must be joking. 375 00:20:13,207 --> 00:20:17,166 Look, I'm having him on that stage. I've got a contract here that says so. 376 00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:19,437 Then you'll just have to tear it up. 377 00:20:19,527 --> 00:20:21,643 - I will not. - Then I will. 378 00:20:26,127 --> 00:20:28,038 - Finished? - No. 379 00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:33,035 - There. - That... 380 00:20:33,727 --> 00:20:35,604 That won't do you any good, you know. 381 00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:37,757 That was just a Carborundum copy. 382 00:20:40,167 --> 00:20:43,204 Right. I want you and him on that stage, 383 00:20:43,287 --> 00:20:45,881 or I'll sue you for every drachma you've got. 384 00:20:46,727 --> 00:20:50,037 Excuse me. Where's the door? 385 00:20:50,847 --> 00:20:52,917 Oh, Hermione, isn't it awful? 386 00:20:53,007 --> 00:20:57,444 - Can't someone else play Cuspidor's part? - But who? I mean, who else is there? 387 00:20:57,727 --> 00:20:59,843 Anyway, who can we find? 388 00:21:01,047 --> 00:21:03,003 Oh, excuse me. 389 00:21:03,127 --> 00:21:05,277 Is this Mr Cuspidor's room? 390 00:21:05,367 --> 00:21:07,801 Yes, but I'm afraid he's out at the moment. 391 00:21:07,927 --> 00:21:09,406 - Spark out. - Oh. 392 00:21:09,487 --> 00:21:12,081 Oh, well, madam, I have a note for you, as well. 393 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:14,681 A note from an old admirer. 394 00:21:14,767 --> 00:21:16,723 Ooh, thank you. How nice. 395 00:21:16,847 --> 00:21:18,565 Now, let me see. 396 00:21:19,247 --> 00:21:24,162 "You may not remember me, but I would dearly love the honour of seeing you again. 397 00:21:24,487 --> 00:21:28,605 In admiration, Ludicrus Sextus." 398 00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:32,600 - Yes, madam. - Oh, yes, I remember him well. 399 00:21:32,687 --> 00:21:33,915 You remember him, madam? 400 00:21:34,007 --> 00:21:37,966 Yes, he's a tall, broad-shouldered, handsome young man, right? 401 00:21:40,927 --> 00:21:43,236 Well, I suppose he's a man. Yes. 402 00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:48,158 Well, at least, he always goes through the door marked "men". I suppose he must be, yes. 403 00:21:48,247 --> 00:21:50,807 Look, mistress, madam, would you excuse me now? 404 00:21:50,887 --> 00:21:53,640 Because I must do some shopping. We've run out of snowflakes. 405 00:21:53,727 --> 00:21:54,955 So, if you'll just forgive me... 406 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:58,278 - Please don't go. Wait there. - Wait here? 407 00:22:02,847 --> 00:22:05,805 Hermione, couldn't he play Cuspidor's part? 408 00:22:05,887 --> 00:22:08,845 - Him? - Well, anything's better than being sued. 409 00:22:08,927 --> 00:22:14,001 Yes, but supposing Cuspidor finds out? I mean, you know how insanely jealous he gets. 410 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:17,040 They're talking about me, aren't they? I bet they are. 411 00:22:17,127 --> 00:22:18,765 I can tell. My ears are burning. 412 00:22:18,847 --> 00:22:21,645 My ears are burning. Yes. They always burn when someone talks about me. 413 00:22:21,727 --> 00:22:25,356 The only other time they burn is when my gorge is rising. 414 00:22:26,447 --> 00:22:29,439 Well, it's not rising now. Well, you can see. 415 00:22:31,047 --> 00:22:34,084 Well, I suppose we may as well give him a try. 416 00:22:34,167 --> 00:22:36,397 Hey, you, whatever your name is. 417 00:22:36,487 --> 00:22:37,966 - Lurcio, madam. - Yes, yes. 418 00:22:38,047 --> 00:22:40,845 Well, now, you say that you've had acting experience. 419 00:22:40,927 --> 00:22:42,645 Yes. Oh, masses of it. Yes. 420 00:22:42,727 --> 00:22:46,322 - On stage? - Oh, yes. I've had it off, too. 421 00:22:50,647 --> 00:22:52,399 In the open air. 422 00:22:54,487 --> 00:22:59,800 Well, how would you like the opportunity of playing opposite the great Hermione tonight? 423 00:22:59,887 --> 00:23:03,562 Oh, well. This is my big chance. My big chance. Well, I... 424 00:23:04,247 --> 00:23:07,125 Well, I... I suppose I might consider it. 425 00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:11,636 Well, I mean, if you don't think I should overshadow you. 426 00:23:11,727 --> 00:23:15,356 Though, I don't think I could completely overshadow you. 427 00:23:15,887 --> 00:23:17,639 Well, we shall soon see. 428 00:23:17,727 --> 00:23:20,719 - Soon see? Oh. - You can read this scene with me. 429 00:23:20,847 --> 00:23:22,803 You'll find the masks on the table. 430 00:23:22,887 --> 00:23:25,401 - Masks? - Yes, it's a masked drama. 431 00:23:25,487 --> 00:23:30,481 You have played in masks, I presume. -Oh, yes, masks. Of course, of course. Masks. 432 00:23:30,607 --> 00:23:34,805 Yes, now, right. -Now, you've just come back from the Punic Wars. 433 00:23:34,887 --> 00:23:36,684 Punic. I see, yes. 434 00:23:36,767 --> 00:23:41,477 You come into the house and you find me, your wife, waiting for you. 435 00:23:41,567 --> 00:23:43,797 Yes. Here we are, then. Right. Here we go. 436 00:23:43,927 --> 00:23:48,079 Oh, Electra, how good it is to see you again. 437 00:23:49,087 --> 00:23:52,796 - Wrong mask. You're pleased to see me. - Wrong mask. 438 00:23:52,887 --> 00:23:54,479 I'm pleased, yes. Yes. 439 00:23:54,647 --> 00:23:58,526 Ah, Electra, how pleased I am to see you again. 440 00:23:59,927 --> 00:24:02,441 And I you, dear husband. 441 00:24:02,527 --> 00:24:06,156 - How went the war? - Oh, badly, we lost 10,000 men. 442 00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,762 - Wrong mask. - Wrong mask, yes. 443 00:24:09,887 --> 00:24:12,447 - That's bad news. - Of course it's bad news. 444 00:24:12,527 --> 00:24:15,166 Yes. Badly. Badly. 445 00:24:15,247 --> 00:24:17,283 We lost 10,000 men. 446 00:24:17,367 --> 00:24:21,565 Never mind, dear husband. You, at least, are home again. 447 00:24:21,647 --> 00:24:25,117 Yes, and we can be happy and merry together. 448 00:24:25,207 --> 00:24:27,767 - Wrong mask! - Wrong mask! All right. 449 00:24:28,007 --> 00:24:30,521 That's supposed to be good news. 450 00:24:30,607 --> 00:24:32,882 Good news. Oh, dear. 451 00:24:34,487 --> 00:24:37,843 I can... We can be... Oh, that's bitter cold, those. 452 00:24:39,527 --> 00:24:42,519 I must put some knickers on for the next one. 453 00:24:43,087 --> 00:24:44,122 Listen, erm... 454 00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:48,200 Now, for goodness sake, try and get some expression into it! 455 00:24:48,767 --> 00:24:53,045 How can I get expression into it with my face hidden behind this bloody thing? 456 00:24:53,127 --> 00:24:54,276 I mean, it's ridiculous. 457 00:24:55,647 --> 00:24:59,003 It's like trying to make love with boxing gloves on. 458 00:24:59,487 --> 00:25:02,365 Oh, you idiot, you're just wasting time. 459 00:25:03,047 --> 00:25:05,003 Ah, get away. 460 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:06,679 Thespian bag. 461 00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:13,437 Let me work on him for a bit. I'm sure he can do it. 462 00:25:13,527 --> 00:25:16,439 Oh, very well, then. But you're just wasting your time. 463 00:25:16,527 --> 00:25:18,279 The man's a complete idiot. 464 00:25:20,927 --> 00:25:23,122 Oh, she's a miserable cow. 465 00:25:23,847 --> 00:25:26,919 No, she is. Just because she's got the biggest part in the play. 466 00:25:27,007 --> 00:25:29,999 And she has, too. She has. By far. 467 00:25:30,087 --> 00:25:33,363 She was one of the lays of ancient Rome, she was. 468 00:25:34,047 --> 00:25:35,719 - Right, now. - Yes. 469 00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:37,878 Let's see what we can do, shall we? 470 00:25:37,967 --> 00:25:40,401 Oh, yes, thank you. I'm all for that. Yes, thank you very much. 471 00:25:40,487 --> 00:25:42,159 My name's Hernia, by the way. 472 00:25:42,247 --> 00:25:43,885 Hernia. Oh, yes. 473 00:25:43,967 --> 00:25:46,481 My young master wrote an ode about you. 474 00:25:46,567 --> 00:25:49,718 Hernia, yes. You're the one with the wondrous, great... 475 00:25:49,847 --> 00:25:53,237 Oh, you've changed, haven't you? 476 00:25:54,087 --> 00:25:57,363 He should have been looking for a rhyme for acorns. 477 00:26:02,367 --> 00:26:05,245 Oh, excuse me. I'm looking for Miss Hernia. 478 00:26:05,327 --> 00:26:09,161 Well, you'll just have to wait there. She's busy in there with someone. 479 00:26:14,167 --> 00:26:16,681 There. You look much better now. 480 00:26:16,767 --> 00:26:20,476 Thank you. Thank you very much. I like the plunging neckline. 481 00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:25,596 I do like a good plunge, don't you? Don't you? It shows my tibia. Look. Look. Ah! 482 00:26:26,127 --> 00:26:28,118 I mustn't inflame you. 483 00:26:28,207 --> 00:26:31,563 Now, this is the scene where you find out... - Yeah. 484 00:26:31,727 --> 00:26:34,400 - ...that I, your only daughter... - Daughter. 485 00:26:34,527 --> 00:26:36,165 - ...poisoned your wife... - Wife. 486 00:26:36,247 --> 00:26:38,807 - ...and drowned the baby I had by your father... -Father. 487 00:26:38,887 --> 00:26:40,957 - ...and so you strangle me to death. - Yes. 488 00:26:41,047 --> 00:26:43,163 I see. A pantomime. I see. 489 00:26:44,607 --> 00:26:48,236 Right, now. On with the drama. Now, I come over here, do I? 490 00:26:49,927 --> 00:26:51,963 Oh, you slut! 491 00:26:52,087 --> 00:26:53,964 - You slut, you are. - Oh, Father. 492 00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:56,038 - What? - Why do you look like that? 493 00:26:56,127 --> 00:26:59,676 - Have I done something to offend you? - Yes, you have. You have. 494 00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:01,519 Yes, you have shamed our house. 495 00:27:01,607 --> 00:27:04,075 - Oh, father. - Never mind. And you shall be punished. 496 00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:07,204 But I beg your forgiveness. You shall not be forgiven. 497 00:27:07,287 --> 00:27:11,519 - Slut. Shameful slut. - Oh, don't kill me. 498 00:27:11,967 --> 00:27:15,926 Stop it! Stop it! Take your hands off my Hernia. 499 00:27:20,727 --> 00:27:23,719 Wait a minute. This is not in the script. 500 00:27:23,927 --> 00:27:26,646 - Lurcio. What are you doing? - Swelling. 501 00:27:28,207 --> 00:27:31,756 I don't understand. How could you use a poor maiden, so? 502 00:27:31,847 --> 00:27:35,726 We're rehearsing a play scene, you idiot. Oh, get out, you fool, get out. 503 00:27:35,807 --> 00:27:39,197 Oh, what have I done? She'll never look at me again. 504 00:27:39,287 --> 00:27:41,198 I've burned my bridges. 505 00:27:42,847 --> 00:27:46,044 I daren't tell you what I've done to my britches. 506 00:27:46,207 --> 00:27:49,040 Oh, dear. Oh, look. 507 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:52,637 - Oh. - You poor, poor thing. 508 00:27:52,727 --> 00:27:54,718 Poor, poor thing. Yes. 509 00:27:54,887 --> 00:27:57,845 - Yes. - Can I do something for you? 510 00:27:58,007 --> 00:28:02,046 Well, you could have done, before. I don't feel up to it now. 511 00:28:03,847 --> 00:28:06,077 Let me kiss it better. 512 00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:08,835 - Pardon? - Let me kiss it better. 513 00:28:09,047 --> 00:28:11,641 Better than who? Oh, I see. Yes. Ah! 514 00:28:12,447 --> 00:28:16,440 - Where is it? Can I put a poultice on it? - What? 515 00:28:17,527 --> 00:28:20,200 And ruin me prospects? I should say so. 516 00:28:20,487 --> 00:28:23,763 I'll get Hermione. She'll know what to do with it. 517 00:28:24,767 --> 00:28:26,962 I'd rather have the poultice. 518 00:28:28,567 --> 00:28:29,966 Hermione! 519 00:28:30,887 --> 00:28:32,445 Hermione! 520 00:28:33,087 --> 00:28:35,078 Oh, dear, where is she? 521 00:28:40,807 --> 00:28:43,401 - Yes, who is it? - It's I, Ammonia. 522 00:28:43,727 --> 00:28:46,685 Oh, dear. Oh, it's my mistress, Ammonia. 523 00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:50,077 If she finds me here, she'll have me drawn and quartered. 524 00:28:50,167 --> 00:28:54,206 I don't mind being drawn, but the drawings of me are appalling. 525 00:28:55,407 --> 00:28:56,920 I'm coming in. 526 00:28:59,087 --> 00:29:02,079 Oh, dear, dear, Cuspidor. I'm here. 527 00:29:02,167 --> 00:29:03,361 Yes. 528 00:29:03,447 --> 00:29:06,245 - Aren't you please to see me, then? - Yes. 529 00:29:06,687 --> 00:29:10,999 - No. Yes, yes, yes. - Oh, yes. That's better. 530 00:29:11,727 --> 00:29:15,242 Oh, Cuspidor. I thought you'd found another love. 531 00:29:15,327 --> 00:29:16,601 No, no. 532 00:29:17,127 --> 00:29:19,846 You remember that wonderful night, then? 533 00:29:19,927 --> 00:29:22,122 Yes, yes. 534 00:29:22,207 --> 00:29:25,005 With my twin sister. Do you remember what we said? 535 00:29:25,087 --> 00:29:27,078 Yes, no. 536 00:29:27,927 --> 00:29:29,758 Oh, Cuspidor, I can't bear it any longer. 537 00:29:29,847 --> 00:29:31,758 Oh, please. Look, oh, dear. 538 00:29:31,847 --> 00:29:34,042 She's got me all mask about face. 539 00:29:37,487 --> 00:29:41,002 Oh, excuse me. Is it... Can it be? 540 00:29:41,327 --> 00:29:45,684 - Hermione. - That's right. And you are? 541 00:29:45,767 --> 00:29:49,601 Ludicrus Sextus, your ardent admirer. 542 00:29:50,447 --> 00:29:51,562 Oh. 543 00:29:52,567 --> 00:29:56,321 Well, yes, you haven't changed a teeny bit. 544 00:29:56,487 --> 00:29:58,205 Nor have you. 545 00:29:58,327 --> 00:30:00,966 You're just as I remembered you. 546 00:30:01,607 --> 00:30:03,325 Only more so. 547 00:30:04,687 --> 00:30:06,405 And you, too. 548 00:30:06,487 --> 00:30:08,478 Only less so. 549 00:30:10,207 --> 00:30:14,200 Oh, I can't bear it any longer. I beg of you, kiss me. Kiss me. 550 00:30:14,287 --> 00:30:15,515 No, don't. Oh, my. Oh, madam! 551 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:16,801 Oh, my. Madam. 552 00:30:16,887 --> 00:30:18,764 You're flattening my scabbard. Please. 553 00:30:20,887 --> 00:30:24,084 Great jumping Jupiter. My wife's voice. 554 00:30:24,167 --> 00:30:25,998 What's going on here? 555 00:30:27,687 --> 00:30:29,643 - Ammonia. - Oh! 556 00:30:30,407 --> 00:30:32,602 You low-down swine. 557 00:30:32,687 --> 00:30:35,884 How dare you take advantage of my wife like this? 558 00:30:35,967 --> 00:30:37,639 God help us! 559 00:30:37,807 --> 00:30:40,640 I don't get a penny extra for this, you know. 560 00:30:40,727 --> 00:30:44,515 We've been rehearsing this for a week and no stand-in, I'm black and blue. 561 00:30:44,607 --> 00:30:47,838 Oh, stop it. Stop it. Get away from him. 562 00:30:47,927 --> 00:30:51,761 - Stop it, you silly old fool. - Silly old fool? 563 00:30:51,847 --> 00:30:54,520 Yes. Silly old fool! 564 00:30:54,607 --> 00:30:57,565 While, since we're being honest with each other, 565 00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,957 goodbye, you fat, old bag. 566 00:31:04,407 --> 00:31:07,444 Oh, you poor, dear man. 567 00:31:07,607 --> 00:31:10,201 Now, then, you come on over here. 568 00:31:11,567 --> 00:31:13,603 There, there. 569 00:31:15,127 --> 00:31:18,085 Now, then, are you comfortable like that? 570 00:31:18,167 --> 00:31:21,955 Oh, yes. I always like two pillows. 571 00:31:27,687 --> 00:31:29,279 Where am I? 572 00:31:31,087 --> 00:31:32,998 Is that you, Mother? 573 00:31:34,447 --> 00:31:36,642 No, it isn't Mother. 574 00:31:36,727 --> 00:31:39,116 Well, it can't be Father, surely. 575 00:31:40,327 --> 00:31:42,966 - Oh, no. - There, there, now. 576 00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:45,404 Now, how do you feel? 577 00:31:45,847 --> 00:31:49,476 I shall be better when I get this heavy weight off my mind. 578 00:31:49,567 --> 00:31:53,799 Never mind. Hermione will look after you. 579 00:31:55,207 --> 00:31:59,564 Hermione, you faithless fornicator! 580 00:32:00,527 --> 00:32:03,917 So this is what you do when my back is turned? Get out. 581 00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:06,237 I'll kill him. I'll kill him. 582 00:32:07,087 --> 00:32:10,682 Wait a minute. Wrong mask. Go. 583 00:32:12,247 --> 00:32:14,602 Oh, no. Oh, dear. 584 00:32:16,767 --> 00:32:19,156 Oh, no. Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear. 585 00:32:19,327 --> 00:32:24,117 An actor's life is not for me. From now on I shall stick to doing the prologue. 586 00:32:24,207 --> 00:32:27,005 That reminds me. The prologue. We didn't finish it. 587 00:32:27,087 --> 00:32:30,284 Oh, there we are. Oh, it's no warmer, this seat, now. 588 00:32:30,367 --> 00:32:32,642 Never mind. The prologue. 589 00:32:33,047 --> 00:32:37,518 Medusa of the Gorgons. Now, are you still there, dear? Are you there? 590 00:32:37,687 --> 00:32:40,918 You're all right, are you? Yes. Shan't keep you waiting now long. 591 00:32:41,007 --> 00:32:45,717 Now, you're on, now. Any minute now. Right. Now, Medusa and the Gorgons. 592 00:32:45,807 --> 00:32:49,277 Woe, woe and thrice woe! 593 00:32:49,407 --> 00:32:52,319 The time has come, the end is here. 594 00:32:52,447 --> 00:32:54,722 Oh, no, it can't be yet. Surely. 595 00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:58,516 - Yes. - Oh, not yet. 596 00:32:58,647 --> 00:33:00,638 Surely. What a pity. 597 00:33:00,727 --> 00:33:03,639 I mean, after that poor, old soul waiting all this time. 598 00:33:03,727 --> 00:33:05,206 Oh, well. 599 00:33:07,327 --> 00:33:09,841 Well, no, it's not right. 600 00:33:12,567 --> 00:33:15,479 I'm sorry, dear. We'll have to leave it for another week, now. 601 00:33:15,567 --> 00:33:19,082 You see? Go back to the Po. There's a dear. 602 00:33:20,807 --> 00:33:21,956 No. 603 00:33:23,847 --> 00:33:26,520 No. Listen. I wish you could have seen her snakes, then, 604 00:33:26,607 --> 00:33:30,361 because they were hissing like mad. They were. 605 00:33:31,167 --> 00:33:34,637 I'm glad I didn't bring her on, now. I wouldn't like you all to get hissed. 606 00:33:37,407 --> 00:33:40,205 Oh, well, never mind. Perhaps we'll see her again. 607 00:33:40,287 --> 00:33:44,599 Anyway, till next week, salute. Thank you very much. Bye. 608 00:33:47,599 --> 00:33:51,599 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com 49383

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