Original subtitles

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(gun fires)

- [Lili] My dad has always been a magician,

or at least that's what he'll tell you.

He's got a cheesy little magic act

in one of the casinos on the strip, with his new wife.

For most of my life my dad was clear thinking

and level headed, but since his motorcycle accident,

he's never really been the same.

(audience applauding)

- Thank you for coming.

- Honey.

- Yes, yes yes.

- The package from the Hawaiian gig came.

- Oh my gosh, that's awesome. Going to Hawaii.

- [Lili] Today I'm graduating

with my Bachelor's in film.

My brother, on the other hand, is graduating

with his bachelor's in liberal arts.

Anyway, today I just want my dad

to show up on time and act normal.

(all cheering)

- Can you believe? They did it.

- Oh wow. - Good job, good job.

- Hey dad, whatever you do,

don't make this disappear after all the hard work

we went through to earn these bad boys.

- Hey, don't worry. Just take care of us in our old age.

- Don't worry about old age.

It doesn't last.

- God, not funny.

- Then again, Dad, we might just to find

some cheap magicians home that we could afford.

- Poof. Maybe I'll make him disappear.

- No, Dad, please. I was just kidding.

We'll find you the best magician's retirement home,

when Lil and I make it big time, right Lili?

- Absolutely, I mean, and we'll make sure

to visit you guys at least once a year.

- Lil and I will take good care of you guys

when you're arthritis creeps in,

destroying your manual dexterity,

so you can stop doing your silly little magic tricks.

- Guess what?

Those silly little mag tricks, pal,

put a roof over your head and give you an education.

Just remember that.

- Ungrateful asshole. Don't worry guys.

I'll never place you in a retirement home.

- [Andre] Oh, thank you.

- Yeah, you can live with me forever.

And we'll see who becomes better well known,

while Leni ends up as some boy toy

to some old degenerate has-been Hollywood actress.

- Oh, I'll never give up my boy toy that easy.

- [Lili] And then there's Sasha.

She never holds back her emotions.

- My God. - I know.

- Excuse me, Sasha. I was just getting started.

And when I win my Academy Award,

I'll make sure to ignore Leni completely,

and only mention the dearest Mom and Dad.

- Okay kids, no fighting. It's time for celebration.

- Yeah, great. How about dinner tonight?

- Leni, is that your buddy Nathan over there?

- Yeah, it is. Hey, Dad. That's my friend Nathan.

He graduated at the top of creative writing class.

Can we invite him?

- Sure.

- Great. He also shares your passion for photography.

- A little.

(voices overlapping)

- This is Nathan. Nathan, this is Mommy Dearest, Lorraine.

In close circles, known as Lori.

And this is my father, Andre.

In close circles, name is Andre.

- Andre.

- Nice to meet you guys.

- My goodness. Why haven't we met you before?

- [Lili] Oh my God. She's hitting on him.

- And this is my much older sister, Lili.

- Yeah, right. By much older he means to minutes.

- Oh, hey partner. She might need that later.

- Oh, I get it. You two are twins.

- Yeah. Thank God we're paternal, not identical.

- Agree 100%.

I had to share this dark, confined space

with this inmate for nine months,

until I made my miraculous escape.

Talk about real magic.

- Come on, give it a break.

So, Nathan. From here on, maybe we can call you Nate.

- Cool. Not a problem.

- Excellent. Hence fourth you shall be referred to as Nate.

- I think I've noticed you at "Movies and Candy".

I mean, you couldn't have been more obvious.

- Yeah, I remember you.

- And this is my main squeeze,

Russian doll, Alexandra, AKA Sasha.

- Excuse me. I'm the squeezer upper.

- Howdy, Sasha.

- We're celebrating tonight. Care to join us?

- Sure. It'd be my pleasure.

- So, lead the way.

(calm music)

- [Leni] Mommy Dearest.

(salsa music)

- [Sasha] Thank you.

(salsa music continues)

- Thank you for the invite, Mr. And Mrs. Fabien.

- Oh, call us Andre and Lori.

We don't stand on formalities in our family.

- You can say that again. Formalities, what's that?

- Behave, Leni.

- Oh, Mom.

- Hey, you know, just so you know,

the venue where we perform is like really close from here.

- Yeah, Leni had mentioned you were an illusionist.

- Ah, somewhat.

- Next you're gonna call him a prestidigitator.

- Hey, schmuck. Cool it. Mom told you to behave.

And Nate is just being respectful.

- Hey hey, you guys. Just kind of cool it off a little bit.

- We thought they were gonna outgrow

their immature behavior by now.

They surprise us all the time with that.

- We're just kidding.

We really, really, really do love each other.

Right, Sis?

- Oh, yeah. They really do have an amazing bond.

- Well, Nate is from Austin, Texas.

And they have a different approach.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T-

- F-U-L. - F-U-L.

Approach quote unquote "Elder".

- Elderly, are you referring to us?

All right.

You guys should spend more time with Nate,

and maybe his R-E-S-P-E-C-T-F-U-L

will rub off on the two of you.

- Hey, I got a great idea.

You know, we have our place,

and we have a couple shows coming up.

Why don't you guys take the place

while we do our little gig in Hawaii?

- What do you say, Bud?

- Sure.

- Okay, it's a done deal.

- Hey, guess what? We have a show tomorrow, right?

Why don't you come by?

We'll invite you by, and you can check us out.

- Yeah, all right.

- You know, I take pictures also.

Why don't you come down and join us,

and take a little photo shoot in our private studio,

and put that thing to work?

- I would really love that. Thank you.

(upbeat music)

- So, my dad is buddying up to Nate

in hopes of meeting his female friends for his photo shoots.

And Mommy Dearest will keep flirting with him,

for as long as he gives it back.

The games never stop.

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

Great plan, Dad.

Let's move in a guy we don't really know that well,

and then you leave town.

I mean, seriously?

What do we really know about him? He's from Texas?

Okay, he likes to take pictures,

and apparently likes flirting, even with older women.

I mean, could he possibly be trying to make me jealous?

(upbeat music continues)

(music stops)

(no audio)

Maybe he's sucking up,

'cause he didn't wanna be alone in his dorm room.

Either way, it's not winning any points with me.

(no audio)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music fades)

This is our backyard.

- Yes it is. They don't have anymore.

- Trampoline. - Bouncy bouncy.

- You guys have beautiful backyard.

- Hey, it's getting pretty nice out.

You guys wanna take a dip?

- Great idea, awesome.

- Come on, Sasha. She's always the exhibitionist.

(water splashing)

I'm gonna go put my swimsuit on.

- Yeah, me too.

(jazz music)

(jazz music continues)

(jazz music continues)

(jazz music continues)

(jazz music continues)

(jazz music continues)

- [Sasha] What are you guys doing for Fourth of July?

We could get some sparklers.

- Hey, now that Nate's here,

he can run camera when we're doing our recreations.

That way I can focus on directing

the very best performances out of my very talented actors.

- Yeah.

- Recreations? What recreations?

- Leni didn't tell you about our pastime?

Oh, well we like to recreate scenes from movies.

- Oh, that sounds like fun.

- Yeah, I mean, there's really a lot that you can learn.

Sometimes I change up the angle,

or shoot it completely differently.

- Wow, that's really interesting.

- And it's fun, so can I count on you to help us out?

- Yeah, I'd love to.

- [Lili] You know, he actually seems kind of nice.

Maybe I was misreading him.

So we stopped for dinner before going to see my dad's show.

And I must say, Nate only checked out

our very attractive waitress one time.

To be honest, she was very attractive.

I even checked her out.

(audience applauding)

(audience continues applauding)

- Thank you, thank you.

And now for our next trick, I'm gonna need two volunteers.

Would you like to come up young lady and join us?

Please come up. Oh, and this gentleman right here, please.

Oh, please come on up. - Come on.

- Don't be shy. We don't bite. And your name?

- I'm Lili. - Lili, Andre. My lovely wife.

- Nate. - Nate, Andre. My lovely wife.

Would you please like to come into this box?

(salsa music)

- [Lili] Well, I'm sure you've noticed

this isn't exactly Criss Angel or Cirque du Soleil.

So, how does he fill the seats, you may be wondering?

Here's how it works.

With the purchase of each ticket,

you get a free slot pull and 20% off at the buffet.

Win-win for everyone.

- [Andre] One, two, three.

(gun fires)

(salsa music continues)

(salsa music continues)

Ready?

One,

two,

three.

(audience applauding)

Thank you for coming tonight.

Thank you.

(crickets chirping)

- [Lili] I actually had a good time with Nate.

Nate wasn't tired, and said he wanted to go outside

and find some interesting night shots.

It's pretty cool how into photography he is.

(whimsical music)

(crickets chirping)

- [Nate] Interesting.

(salsa music)

(salsa music continues)

(camera clicking)

(salsa music continues)

(camera clicking)

(bed squeaking)

(salsa music continues)

(upbeat music)

- [Lili] Nate just fit in.

And we all started having a lot of fun.

You know, I'd be lying if I said

I didn't have some romantic thoughts about him.

But for now, I'm just gonna keep him in the friend zone.

Yeah, you know?

- [Sasha] I know, right? Yeah.

- That's not bad.

- No swatting now.

- No, it is a full swat.

- [Sasha] Oh, who's next? Whoo. (laughing)

- [Leni] Hey, that's absurd.

(girls laughing)

- [Sasha] Get out. Come on, go sit down.

You're always in the way.

Can't take him anywhere.

Are you hungry?

- Oh, yes. Yes, I am.

Oh, it's smell so good. It looks amazing.

- I helped cook a little bit of that.

- Oh yeah, sure you did.

- I wore the apron.

- Oh, so much work.

- Okay, you're gonna get the first bite, sexy beast.

There you go.

How's that? - Right on.

Hey guys, now that Nate is a full fledged member

in our secret society, maybe we should take him

down to the lake a few nights at the end of the Summer.

- I think that's a great idea.

- Oh, I'm in. Some fun in the sun.

- We can celebrate like there's no tomorrow.

- That sounds like fun, seriously. We should do that.

- Pack some extra trunks, my man.

- There we go.

- [Nate] Ooh, thank you.

- How come I haven't got a piece of bread yet?

- Catch.

- Thanks, Lili.

- How is everything, guys?

- Oh, amazing. - Terrific.

- Absolutely terrific.

I couldn't even imagine it being this good, so.

- I'm glad you guys like it. Cheers, guys.

- Cheers, you guys.

- Cheers. - Woo, cheers.

- [Lili] We all decided to go to the hookah lounge tonight.

And then last minute, Leni decided

he was staying home to watch football.

(phone ringing)

Call me all you want, I'm not picking up.

As Joni Mitchell would say,

you don't know what you got till it's gone.

- Hello.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Welcome to the Phantom Hookah Lounge.

I'm your server, Galen.

- Oh, thank you.

- And if you have any questions, or you need anything,

please don't hesitate to ask.

- Thank you. - Thank you so much.

- Enjoy, guys.

- This is really good. I've never had food this good before.

- Have you ever tried hookah?

- No.

- [Sasha] Try it. Let me know what you think.

- Ooh, moment of truth.

- [Sasha] How is it?

- Very cool.

(phone ringing)

- Are you gonna answer that?

- Nope.

Come on. I think we should dance.

Yeah, let's go. Let's go.

(upbeat dance music)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

I can tell he's going to try to hook up with me.

And that's just not gonna happen.

(upbeat dance music continues)

- What? What's going? What's wrong with you?

- Oh.

- I mean, he's totally sexy.

- Oh, then why don't you date him?

- Oh, God. What am I gonna do with you, huh?

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(sneaky music)

- [Lili] I am trying to keep my distance.

So by the time we got home,

I told Nate I was going to bed.

And he didn't seem to mind.

He said he was eager to try to get some more night shots.

(sneaky music)

(camera clicking)

(sneaky music continues)

(sneaky music continues)

(camera clicking)

(sneaky music continues)

- [Anastasia] Hi, guys.

- Morning. - Morning.

- Hello.

- Oh, Nate, we forgot to mention.

This is our birth mom, Anastasia.

- Yeah, our real loving mother,

before our crazy ass Dad married that bimbo showgirl.

- Yeah, she lives with us too.

We're one big happy family.

- Really?

- Yeah. - Yeah, right.

- But now you know why Leni has a Russian girlfriend.

Hello, Mr. Freud. Truly an Oedipus complex.

- Oh, you're so funny. Call it what you want.

My Russian doll.

(alarm clicking)

Hey, it's 10 o'clock.

We gotta get to Movies and Candy for the morning screening.

And we're off, like a heard of turtles.

- [Lili] Bye, mom.

- Bye. - Bye.

- [Nate] Mother.

- [Lili] Movies and Candy is one of my safe spaces.

It's a video store with a small theater in the back.

Today they're playing "Ecstasy", which will be perfect,

because tomorrow I want to recreate it.

Leni isn't the biggest fan of old movies.

So Sasha told him that we'd be seeing "Terminator".

Now who would've done a mean thing like that?

- What's up, guys?

- Hey.

You guys are like an hour early.

- Oh, you know us.

We just wanted to get the best seats,

and stock up on the goods.

- For sure. Welcome, Nate.

- Hey, man. How you doing, man?

- I haven't seen you in forever. How you been?

- Yeah, I been hitting the books for finals.

- Well, welcome back partner.

We are Tex-ass boys.

- I do like the ass part.

(chuckles)

- Okay, shit kickers. What's up tonight, pilgrim?

- Who's that?

- John Wayne.

- Who's John Wayne?

The best western actor ever.

I can’t explain it any better than that.

- I thought that was Clint Eastwood.

Would you mind saying that again?

- Who's Clint Eastwood?

- Well, you guys are gonna be watching "Ecstasy" tonight,

starring Hedy Lamarr.

That movie got banned back in the day because she was

running around butt naked in the countryside.

- Wow. - When was it shot?

- 1932.

The film was the first mainstream picture to depict

full nudity, the portrayal of sexual intercourse,

and the female orgasm.

- That's so interesting.

- Yeah, Lamar's husband also spent

like 500 million in present dollars

in an attempt to purchasing every existing print.

Obviously, he missed some.

- He's like a walking Google search of obscure film facts.

- Not just obscure.

- Okay, how about this one?

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.

- "The Godfather".

- Okay.

How about this?

It goes on forever, six bloody minutes.

I pity your wife if you think six minutes is forever.

- "Bohemian Rhapsody".

- Wow. Impressive.

- Oh, the movie.

- Enjoy your movie, guys.

- [Sasha] I'll see you after the movie.

- [Lili] So when Leni realized Sasha had lied to him,

he decided to bolt.

- [Sasha] Why is he leaving?

- Leni? - Leni.

- [Sasha] Leni. Leni, come on.

- [Lili] Despite all their public affection,

they definitely seem to be drifting apart.

I think that the three most important rules

in a relationship are don't cheat, don't lie,

and don't make promises you can't keep.

(upbeat piano music)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

(upbeat piano music continues)

- Horsey.

(upbeat piano music continues)

Horsey.

(no audio)

(no audio)

- So, when's Leni coming back?

- Oh, we've been through this before.

He always comes back.

Oh, and to keep up the family tradition.

As Leni would say,

I held the door open for a clown the other day.

I called it a nice gesture.

- Stop.

Stop.

- Oh, wait. And another one.

When you have your grandma on speed dial,

she calls it Insta-gram. (laughing)

- You know sweetie?

If you don't stop, we're going to have to disinherit you.

(Sasha flatulates)

Real classy. You have such good manners.

- How about this for manners?

- Let's just ignore her.

Oh, thanks for picking up the tab.

You didn't have to do that.

- Yeah, it's my pleasure.

Doesn't even come close to all you guys are doing for me.

- Ooh, and another Linisk. Here we go.

As you slide down the banister of life,

you better pray that the splinters

are pointing the right direction.

- Why don't you get about "It's not funny?"

That's it.

You're officially disinherited.

- Ooh, ooh. (Sasha flatulates again) (giggles)

(upbeat music)

- Hi, Mom.

Didn't have to dress up. I'm here for the eggs.

- Morning.

- Morning, Mom.

Do you need any help with anything?

- Sure. Give me two eggs to feed this hungry beast.

(laughing)

- Hey, let's be civil about this.

(laughing)

Hey, can I have some juice, Mom?

- I don't she's gonna be getting it.

- Can you grab me one also?

- Hey, you know next time Mom,

you should get apple juice instead of OJ.

O.J. kills people.

- Oh my God. Too early for that.

- Good morning, sleepy head.

- Good morning. - Morning.

- Sleep well?

- Yeah, I slept great.

- Was it weird, sleeping in a strange bed?

- No, it was actually amazing.

- Cool.

- I wanted to thank you again

for the warm welcome into your home.

- My pleasure.

Nate, how would you like your eggs?

- Sunny side up please.

- Sunny side up coming up.

- [Lili] Mom, are you flirting with him?

I've been really looking forward to my shoot today.

And I think it'll be nice to have Nate help me.

Hey Sasha, do you wanna hop in the hot tub?

- [Sasha] Of course I wanna hop.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

- Damn.

- Oh, hi.

- [Sasha] What the hell is she doing here?

- Oh, be cool. You're still my reading actress.

I just needed to double up on the scenes

to make them more interesting.

- I like interesting.

- How are you? - Good, how are you?

I'm good.

Nate, this is Kate.

We've been best friends since elementary school.

She's gonna help us on the recreations today.

- Nice meeting you.

- Maybe, like right over there.

- Kate and Sasha have a history.

Lili's doing this to tweak me, but then again,

payback's gonna be glorious.

Oh, all right.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

- Damn.

- What kind of trouble are you kids up to this fine morning?

- We're just recreating a scene

from a movie we saw yesterday.

- Nice. Do you have any role for smart Russian lady?

- Why? Do you know a good looking one?

- Not in this one, Mom.

I just need Sasha, Leni, and Kate.

But I can assure you, you look wonderful as always.

Just ignore a-hole's comments du jour, as always.

- Got it.

Okay, I will gonna go lay down over there

and catch some sun.

Can I see the set up?

- Sure, go ahead.

( music)

- Oh, what are you feeling right now?

- We're gonna film Sasha running through the woods.

- Mom, you're spilling out.

- Sorry. Not a big deal, right Nate?

- You're embarrassing Nate.

- You're not embarrassed, right?

- Can you just stop playing around,

so Nate can actually focus?

- Okay, okay.

You guys just go ahead and do your things.

I will not gonna be embarrassing you anymore,

But you're welcome to take my picture.

- Sure.

- She just opened the gates to Hell.

- [Lili] Mom, you are impossible.

- Ooh, I like that on camera. That's good.

You look good on camera.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(camera clicking)

(camera continues clicking)

- Hey, stud.

I know she's got nice boobs,

but can we focus on our boobs over here?

- You're pretty birdy.

Oh, you look so good.

- Why, you look good.

- When we're done you can oogle my mom all you want.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to.

This is all just so new to me.

(upbeat music continues)

- Not to worry. They're all talk.

No action.

Well, you never know.

You can never tell.

- I thought you said you had a history with Kate.

- I was a witness to the prosecution.

- What?

- It's all very complicated.

- You're weird, man.

(giggling)

- Now, let me see you.

Now this will make them stand out in they're full glory.

- Yeah, right on. You just wanted to play with my nipples.

- Well, how about this? You're my actress.

And I do what I must to get you ready.

- Well, don't get me too ready,

or I'll be doing another scene with you, or with her.

Well, let's get you ready too. Fair is fair.

- Naked fucking girls.

- Okay.

Sasha, can I get you to stand over there?

(sultry music)

- See that? Told you.

- But, I thought you meant Kate and Sasha.

- That works too.

Your highness,

we're ready.

- Okay.

Sasha turn camera right, and then start running.

And, action.

(upbeat piano music)

(upbeat piano music continues)

- You know the actor had most of his clothes on, right?

- Artistic license.

- Leni always likes to match the girls' outfits,

or lack thereof.

Did I forget to mention

that my brother's also an exhibitionist?

Runs in the family,

with me as the sole exception to that tule.

- You do have a unique family.

- Okay, can I get you to look camera left,

and then exit camera left?

All right, action.

(upbeat piano music)

Okay, so just run right from left, right through the frame.

And action.

Okay, turn camera right and then start running.

And action.

(upbeat piano music)

Okay, so this is a tight shot through the bushes.

And action.

Okay, Sasha, when we get into the pool,

I'm gonna have you enter in essential way.

I want a wide shot in a closeup though,

so you're gonna need to enter the water twice.

But please do it the same way, or it won't cut together.

Okay, just swim into frame. And action.

(upbeat piano music)

(upbeat piano music continues)

Great. That was great. Thank you.

- I'm gonna go grab some water inside. You want some?

- Ah, sure. thanks.

- Here, here. Let me help you with that.

- Oh, that's so sweet.

Where would you like them?

It's over there.

Put over there.

Thank you for the help.

- Yeah, sure.

- [Anastasia] Nice package.

(fast paced piano music)

(fast paced piano music continues)

(crickets chirping)

- [Lili] One of my dad's many side hustles

is taking graduation photos.

So today he's gonna take some of Leni and me.

(upbeat music)

- You guys look so great.

(camera clicking)

(upbeat music continues)

So good.

Hey, that's really great guys. One more.

Okay guys, that'll do it. Great job, fantastic.

Lili, Leni, come on over here. Let's do a shoot.

- [Lili] Yeah, are you ready?

- [Leni] Are you ready?

- Okay. - Fantastic.

- Let me just make sure you're good.

All right. - All right.

(camera clicking)

(camera continues clicking)

(camera continues clicking)

Okay, amazing. Perfect guys. You guys are great.

Beautiful.

Fantastic. Thank you, guys. This was really good.

(camera clicking)

Great subject, huh?

- Yeah, sorry Mr. Fabien. I mean, Andre.

- No, no problem.

You know that Kate, she's something else.

And let me tell you, she's definitely not camera shy.

- Yeah, Kate and Lili really are beautiful.

- Yeah, you have no idea.

- Hey, Dad. - Oh.

- Let's get outta here.

We got places to go, people to see, countries to pillage.

- Yeah, like I told your mother.

I said they should have threw you away,

and kept the stork, (mimics wind blowing) boom.

- Keep trying. Maybe one day that'll work.

- [Sasha] I don't know what to tell you.

- Don't be holding my girlfriend.

- Well, you can come join.

- God, always with you too.

- May I see some of these pictures?

- Yeah, sure.

(gasps)

- Not bad.

Good composition, good contrast. Good subject matter.

Hey, would you like to maybe come over some time

and take some shots with us?

- Yeah, I would love that.

- It would be really cool. I would like that too.

- Yeah, I think Nate sleeps with his camera.

He's always taking snaps.

Different strokes for different folks.

- Did I hear different strokes?

You know how I like that, spicing it up.

- That reminds me. One time I tried to catch fog.

But I mist.

- Again, not funny.

- Sister, if you walked a mile in my shoes, you'd be bored.

But you take 30 seconds in my brain,

you would freak out.

- Darn, behave.

You know, they're always tweeking at each other.

But deep down there's always love.

- My dearest Sasha, love hate

two sides of the same

coin. - Coin.

(both laughing)

- Oh, we got snakes,

- And the like, little poppers.

Snakes and sparklers.

- Poppers.

- Well, there's definitely gonna be fireworks.

- [Lili] Kate worked her way back into the group.

Leni was going along with it,

but I could see him struggling.

(all laughing)

- So Mr. Writer.

What did you think on my performance?

Any constructive comments?

- Obviously, you're a great actress.

I just can't get over how you and Kate

are so free with your sexuality.

Not the way I was raised.

And your mom, Lili, sunbathing herself pretty much topless.

- Well, maybe I can teach you a thing or two.

Well, maybe that's up to me,

since I'm the designated hitter.

Oh, and this is payback for squeezing me without permission.

- My God, since when do I need permission?

- So what about me? How do I rate?

- You were great too.

- Smart decision.

We don't wanna antagonize her,

because I've seen all of her dark sides often enough.

(laughing)

- I told you. They have no inhibitions.

Not that I agree with their behavior.

You know the joke from Leni that I hated the most?

It was the one about how if you can remember

the color of a girl's eyes on the first date,

it means that she has small boobs.

That was horrible.

- Well, no problem here.

Right, Nate? - Oh my God.

- No problem whatsoever.

- [Lili] Then Will decided to show up.

- Lili, we need to talk.

- What are you even doing here?

I've completely erased you outta my life.

- Look, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.

We need to talk right now.

Just let me explain.

- Oh no. No, no. No explanation necessary.

We're done, and you need to go.

- Look, I'm not leaving until we talk.

- Seems you speak the Lord's English, right?

So you must have clearly heard,

and understood when Lili told you?

So you better get outta here right now.

(no audio)

(no audio)

- That was good, man.

Let's go get some food.

- I'm so happy he was here. Aren't you?

- Yeah, I was.

- Unh, unh-un-huh.

- Are you not hungry?

- I am hungry, but we're not going anywhere

until you tell me, why you're not all over him?

- Oh my God. I don't.

- Hey, Nate is hot and he obviously likes you.

- [Lili] I don't wanna get hurt again.

- Okay, so.

Why did you break up with William?

- The night of my party,

Will and I had snuck off into my room,

and I had lit some candles and played some music,

and he took it that I was ready to have sex with him.

- Oh yeah, I remember seeing him storming out of the room.

- Well, at first I left, and I sat outside.

And I started thinking that maybe, maybe I was wrong.

Maybe, maybe.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable, you know.

He really loved me, and why shouldn't I go through with it?

But when I went back inside to try to find him,

I caught him having sex with Karen.

- No, Lili. I'm so sorry. It just happened.

- Oh my God, that bitch.

- It was bad.

- Well, hey, hey. No big deal.

I mean, just be a little bit more open.

- I'm not like you.

- I get it, I totally get it.

But you can't let one asshole mess with you like that.

- I mean, you're probably right, but.

Can we just? Can we go in, please? Come on, let's go in.

(Sasha sighs)

(upbeat music)

- Yo, that's fine. You can do that one right here.

The black and white one would be great.

- [Lili] My dad is shooting

some jackets for a catalog today.

It's an erotic catalog,

so I'm not gonna stop buying until lunchtime.

- Okay, ready?

Wonderful. Now that jacket looks so good on you.

Look how that's shaped.

All right, gorgeous.

Lots of love. Look at that.

Beautiful.

Take the look in the lens, straight ahead now.

Beautiful.

Love the camera girl, love the camera.

It is your best friend.

See that, Nate? That's how you do it.

There you go.

(camera clicking)

There you go.

Ashley, change jackets for us, hun.

Hey, beautiful. Right there, gorgeous.

Beautiful, that's a shot.

There you go, a little more, little more. Beautiful.

There you go.

Sensuality, sexy, beautiful.

Okay, now look right in the camera,

and love me in the camera.

There it is. Beautiful.

Nate, this is how you do it.

Look at that.

Yeah, nice.

Really nice.

Next girl, please.

All right, so yeah. Try that red one over there.

Yeah, that's beautiful. Try that.

That would look perfect on your body.

It's gonna shape your back so beautifully.

Hey, can I get the next girl to come over here?

By the way, what kinda exposure are you using, Nate?

- Five, six right now.

- Five, six. Yes.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Love the camera, honey. Look at me, love the camera.

Yeah, that's right.

Turn around. Gimme some.

Turn around with your face here.

Gimme some love. There it is.

So good, so good.

There you go. Show me that love, show me that skin.

Gorgeous, gorgeous.

Okay, would you like to change jackets again over there?

Thank you.

Yes. There, that one.

Yes, that one.

That's beautiful. Try that one on.

Then we'll get it going.

Now that's gorgeous, fantastic.

Beautiful, nothing but beauty.

Let's see what you got, Chelsea.

Beautiful.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

Ah, beautiful, beautiful.

Thank you girls. You girls are so wonderful.

You showed me so much sensuality.

- Thank you. - Love the jacket.

- Well, we love you.

Look at that composition. Take a look at that.

That's amazing.

You see, that's the lighting you have to use.

Hey, by the way, what exposure are you using?

- Anybody hungry?

- [Andre] Oh yes, we're starving. We need some food.

- Thanks, your amazing.

- Yes, of course.

How'd everything go? It went great.

Do you wanna see? Yeah, of course.

Oh wow.

Okay, I can't stay for long.

It was just on my way, so I wanted to drop it off.

Do you think you could run in the back with me

to grab some tables and chairs, yeah?

- Thanks again.

- [Lili] Of course.

- That was really nice of you to bring us lunch.

(sultry music)

- Wow.

- I've been wanting to do that for a while now.

- Me too.

- Thanks for getting rid of William.

All right.

(birds singing)

(upbeat piano music)

Kate had pretty much moved in for the Summer.

And Sasha was spending all her time with Kate.

- You gotta make this cup. I have to make that cup.

(whimsical music)

(whimsical music continues)

- Good morning, Mr Fabien. I love the hat.

- Thanks, it's part of the new wardrobe for the show.

- Yeah, Dad. Show us a trick.

- Oh, a trick. - ooh, I love tricks.

- Why am I working? Why am I working? Okay, all right.

All right, well let's see. Where are we going here?

- Woo, I love that. - Hey, 52 pick-up, Son.

Take care of that.

Hey, by the way, baby. You are my Queen of Hearts.

Hey, Lori. - Thank you.

(jet engines roaring)

(sneaky music)

- Anastasia? Can I help you with something?

- It's our secret. We have to be very careful.

- Careful about what?

- It's our secret.

I'm sure you've seen the graduate, right?

- Yeah.

- Oh, just think of me as a Mrs. Robinson,

and you as a Benjamin.

- What?

- That scene always intrigued me.

I always want to recreate it.

And here is a perfect opportunity.

- Okay. I get it.

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?

I don't believe you could handle it.

Shhhh.

(sultry music)

(sultry music continues)

- [Lili] I thought I'd go to Nate's room

to see what he's up to.

But then I decided,

let's see if he comes to my room instead.

(sultry music)

- [Anastasia] It's ours secret.

- [Nate] Mrs. Robinson, seduce me.

Oh yeah.

(Anastasia moaning)

- [Anastasia] Thinking, I want you so much.

- Maybe he's shy. I don't know.

God, I'm tired.

- [Nate] That was incredible, Mrs. Robinson.

- You can call me Anastasia.

I truly hope you stick around.

We must do it again, and again, till we make it perfect.

(funky music)

(calm music)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(music stops)

- Lili, are you awake?

(no audio)

(no audio)

(calm music)

(no audio)

(water running)

Good morning. You sleep good?

(no audio)

(no audio)

(toilet flushes)

(water running)

- You should have come into my room last night.

We could have cuddled.

(contemplative music)

(contemplative music continues)

(sighing)

- What have I gotten myself into?

(contemplative music continues)

(upbeat music)

- Yeah. So how is it?

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(music stops)

(camera clicking)

- So what happened to Leni?

- Oh, he's pissed off,

because Kate's spending the Summer with us now.

And he was feeling jealous,

'cause of Kate and Sasha's history.

So, he huffed off somewhere.

- Yeah, I feel really bad.

- Oh, don't feel bad. He's done it before.

I'm sure he'll be back.

He's probably off somewhere

stealing more bad jokes off the internet.

- You know what, guys? I remember this one time.

Me and Leni were at the supermarket,

and this lady came up and I asked him,

are these turkeys gonna get any bigger?

Do you know what he said?

He said, no ma'am, because they're already dead.

(laughing)

(keyboard clicking)

(keyboard continues clicking)

(no audio)

(no audio)

- Nice picture.

- Sneaking up on me must run in the family.

- What do you mean it runs in the family?

- You gotta stop sneaking up on me.

Just like Clint Eastwood snuck up on Chief Dan George,

in "The Outlaw Josey Wales".

Said, it ain't supposed to be easy sneaking up on an Indian.

And Chief Dan George responded,

They won’t stop sneaking up on me.

- White men have been sneaking up on us for years.

- But you're not an Indian.

- And you're no Josey Wales.

- I'm very confused. What are we talking about, now?

- Nevermind.

I should probably get to bed.

- Okay. - Good night.

- Good night.

(no audio)

They have become friendly. It’s a bad omen.

(laughing)

(sultry music)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

- Are you just gonna watch, or are you gonna join in?

- I didn't mean.

- Hey, guys. I just found a peeping Tom in the hallway.

- Well, come on in. The water is great.

- No, no no.

I think we'll just grade you on your performance.

But go ahead, enjoy.

Yeah.

(sultry music)

- I would like to shoot this.

- You can. I'll bring my camera.

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

- Did you get it?

- Yeah, I think I got it all.

- What show is that from?

- I'm not quite sure.

Wait.

Ah, "Mistresses".

- You never fail. Oh my God.

You're amazing.

- No, you're amazing.

I swear you've opened up a whole new world to me.

(no audio)

(both laughing)

- [Announcer] A meal and memory we'll forever savor.

(calm piano music)

"Babette's Feast", from Orion Classics.

(no audio)

(calm music)

(calm music continues)

(music stops)

- Wow, great film, a classic.

- Did you also know that it's the Pope's favorite film?

- No kidding?

- You know what?

I think now we're gonna play Sasha's

version of Fact or Dare.

- You mean Truth or Dare?

- No Fact or Dare. That's my creation.

- What are the rules of Sasha's creation?

- So a player asks a motion picture themed question.

And then if the player answers correctly, he gets a point.

And in return, he gets to ask another player for a question.

And if he gets that question wrong,

then he gets a dare right there and then.

And he gets to recreate a scene from a movie.

So whichever player gets five points wins.

- Okay. I got it. Can I go first?

- Sure. Knock yourself out.

- Okay.

Okay, Nate.

Robin Williams and Maria Conchita Alonso

had a scene in a bathtub, in which Robin

is tweaking Maria Conchita's nipples as they speak.

Name that film.

The answer is very simple.

"Moscow on the Hudson".

- Correct. Okay, your turn.

- Sasha, a film in which Kathleen Turner gives a blowjob

to William Hurt, and it's witnessed by a very young girl.

(breathing heavily)

(no audio)

- I haven't got the foggiest idea.

- "Body Heat". - Oh my God.

- Okay, what is your pre-described dare to Miss Sasha?

- How about a Brazilian wax by Kate.

- Oh, my God.

Well, I feel like the Brazilian wax is quite painful.

How about a razor trim?

- Sounds good to me.

- Yeah, okay.

- Okay.

- Okay, so now we're gonna do this very gently.

I'm ready.

But, I know you know what you're doing, so.

It's, everything is good.

- I'm so sorry if my hands are cold.

- No, it's great.

- I'm gonna go. - Yes.

- Okay, it's game time.

(sultry music)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

Oh boy you kiss good Audrey.

Oh, I guess I just have a good kisser.

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

Okay, Nate.

Nate, you owe me one dare.

But I'm keeping it in the reserves,

and using it when I'm ready.

- I accept whatever that may be.

Hopefully you'll keep it kind and considerate.

All right. Camera's set.

(belt lands) (woman groans)

- Ready, action.

(belt lands) - One.

(belt lands) Two.

(belt lands) Three.

(belt lands) Four.

(belt lands) Five.

(belt lands) Six.

- [Lili] Sometimes Kate and Sasha get a little carried away.

(breathing heavily)

♪ I dropped my pants she clearly fainted ♪

♪ When she woke up she screamed ♪

♪ I'm a virgin girl ♪

♪ I said I think you should go now ♪

♪ I'm a virgin girl ♪

♪ She said she thought I was slime ♪

♪ I'm a virgin girl ♪

♪ I said I think you should go now ♪

♪ A virgin girl is only good one time ♪

- That is an awful movie.

Can you guys believe it's a cult classic?

- Well, you know. Different strokes for different folks.

Some freedom fighters, to some terrorists to others.

- What are you talking about?

- Nevermind.

I'm just thinking of a screenplay that I'm writing.

- Cool. Can I be in it?

- You know what I've thought of just now?

My parents are off to the Rockies for the weekend,

and we can have the river house all to ourselves.

- Okay, okay. I'll go, I'll go.

- Sure. You know, why not?

(giggling)

- I've always loved coming to the river house.

If I could have it my way,

I would vacation there for six months, twice a year.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

Home sweet home.

(upbeat music continues)

- Here we are. So many memory's here.

It's so spacious, right?

- [Nate] Yeah, wow.

- As Leni would say, we didn't know you could read.

- Screw you.

- I was just joking.

(contemplative music)

- I can feel my wall coming down,

and I think that that's okay.

Nate is really nice, and really fun to be around.

(contemplative music continues)

Do you guys realize that we've never

recreated a scene from the "Titanic"?

How do you guys feel about maybe us doing like,

the one where she's on the couch,

and he's painting a photo of her.

But instead of painting,

maybe we could just take some stills.

Yes, yes, wonderful, wonderful.

- Yeah, that would be fun.

- [Lili] Yeah?

- Yeah, I'm down if you girls are down.

- Yeah?

- I'm cool with it.

- Yeah, we need do it.

- I'm cool with it. - Yeah, right now?

- I mean, why not?

We don't have anything else to do.

Okay, Sash, you'll be on the bed. I mean the couch.

Kate, you can just go hang out. You'll be next.

- Do I take my, this off?

- Of course.

- Just for you. - Just for me.

- Camera right here?

- Yeah, perfect.

(sultry music)

Okay, perfect.

So now you're going to be putting your other arm down.

Okay, legs up.

Beautiful, okay. Great.

And then your other arm by your face.

Great, now put that arm back the way that it was.

Perfect, okay.

Your eyes are gonna be down.

And then face towards the camera, when it's ready.

Okay. And then we're ready when you are.

- [Sasha] Is that good?

- It's beautiful.

It's nice, right?

(sultry music)

(camera clicking)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

I don't know why you weren't just in the actual movie.

Perfect, great. Okay, Kate, your turn.

- [Kate] That was beautiful.

I loved it.

I just hope I can get it.

- What was your guys' favorite part of the movie?

- [Sasha] The sex scene.

- The sex scene? Of course the sex scene.

- Okay. - Okay.

- All right, the same thing.

Yeah, lay flat. And then put your arm the way that it was.

Perfect, and then the other arm by your face.

Fingers, perfect. Okay, all right.

And then your head's gonna be down,

and then your eyes are gonna be towards the camera.

(camera clicking)

- Wow. - Beautiful.

- [Sasha] That's gorgeous.

- Love it.

I think we got it. I think it was good.

- [Sasha] Awesome.

- [Kate] Can I see?

- [Sasha] Yeah. Come see, come see.

(calm music)

- [Lili] Beautiful.

- [Kate] Those are so cute.

- You did a really good job, Nate.

- Thank you.

- [Lili] This is the most fun I've had in a long time.

I feel like having two good friends

is better than having 20 relatives.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music fades)

(acoustic guitar music)

♪ You fall in love till it breaks your heart ♪

♪ You build your dreams till they're torn apart ♪

♪ You tell the truth till you find the lies ♪

♪ I loved you once but you let it die ♪

♪ You lift me up then you let me down ♪

♪ I touched the stars just to hit the ground ♪

♪ You made me laugh now you make me cry ♪

♪ I loved you once but you let it die ♪

(acoustic guitar music continues)

(acoustic guitar music continues)

(acoustic guitar music fades)

- This house brings me back so many memories.

Remember when Leni was here?

- Has anyone even talked to Leni?

- Yeah, I spoke to him on the phone.

He's staying with my parents in Hawaii

while they finish up their gig.

But he is not having it that Kate is still here.

- [Sasha] Well, even if he does come back,

it's not gonna change anything.

So she finally came to her senses huh.

(laughing)

- [Sasha] Oh, stop your goody two shoes act, seriously.

- I really like Nate,

and I think I have feelings for him.

Maybe I need to just stop being afraid.

You know, they say fear is temporary and regret is forever.

(calm music)

It's dumb, you know.

Kate and Sasha had been hooking up

behind Leni's back for a while, he just finally caught them.

- Quite a complicated history between those two.

- Yeah, it's definitely not my kind of behavior.

- Yeah, not mine neither.

- Oh, I know that look.

That's the look that

you used to give me at "Movies and Candy".

- Yeah, I didn't have the courage to approach you back then.

But, when I first saw you, I didn't think you'd like me.

- Of course I liked you.

I was disappointed that you never approached me.

Why do you think I had Leni invite you over?

Yep, it was my plan the whole time.

- Well, your master plan worked out very well.

- Better than expected.

- All right, I'm gonna go take a shower and clean up.

- Oh. Do you mind if I join you?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- You still owe me a dare.

- Well, my wish is your command.

- Well, lucky me.

(sultry music)

(sultry music continues)

(no audio)

(no audio)

- Are you sure you want to?

(water running)

(no audio)

(sultry music)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(sultry music continues)

(no audio)

- Come on.

(giggles)

(calm music)

- The air's so clean and crisp out here,

I feel like I can finally think straight.

(calm music continues)

(music stops)

- I know we've only known each other for a short time,

but it feels like we're meant to be together.

- I got hired to direct a film in New York.

I've been working with the producers for a while,

and they want me to fly down next week to start prep.

Please understand, this is my golden opportunity.

- Okay, then. I'll go with you.

I have a computer, and I can travel.

- Really?

- If you want me to.

- I mean, yeah. That would be wonderful.

What?

- You want me to be honest with you, right?

- Yeah.

- I think it's important that you know.

- What? Just say it.

- If there's a good looking guy on set,

that you can't be flirting with him.

- God, you little shit. You scared me. Don't do that.

(contemplative music)

Hey, babe. I got our tickets to New York.

What's wrong?

- Lili, this move to New York is a big deal,

and I can't keep living in a lie.

I have to tell you something.

- Okay. What is that?

- There's no easy way to say this, but.

I had an affair with your mom.

(giggles)

- You're kidding, right?

- It was only the one time.

(slap lands)

- You bastard. How could you?

- Hey, guys. Movies and Candy will be waiting for us.

What's going on, sis? Hey, what's going on here?

- You fucked my boyfriend?

- I can explain.

- I hate you.

- Why couldn't you keep your big mouth shut?

(dramatic music)

- Hey. You're up early.

- Oh my God. Look at all this.

I'll just do a tea for right now. Thanks.

- What are you doing here?

I'm feeling pretty inspired after my trip to New York.

I was talking to a producer on set

about everything that happened, and.

Well, at first she didn't believe me, because who would?

Honestly, I mean, I'm still kind of having

a hard time wrapping my head around it, you know?

- Yeah, I mean that asshole.

- Well, that's exactly why I'm moving out.

- Really?

- I had been wanting to move out after graduating anyways.

You know, I mean it's pretty much been

a constant stream of shit hitting the fan

since my dad started dating Lori.

So I started looking for places as soon as I got back.

But enough, enough about me.

What is going on with you?

- I'm pregnant.

- Wow.

Who's the father?

- Oh, you know who the father is.

Congratulations, Auntie of the Year.

- So, I'm assuming that Leni's not being very supportive.

- He said that it's not his baby, and he wants a DNA test.

- Well, listen. I will be here, okay.

I'm going to be an aunt, wow.

- Oh, by the way, when,

when were you thinking of moving out?

- Oh, as soon as I get approved for a place.

- Why don't you like, move in with me? I have space.

- I mean, I really would love to.

When do you think I should start packing?

- Let's see.

How about now? Like right now? No, I'm serious.

- Okay.

- Yay. - Okay.

(calm music)

- So this is your room.

- And it's so nice.

It's big.

- Yeah, I mean, it's one of the perks

of having a rich stepdad.

- [Lili] It's crazy, for as long as I've known you,

I've literally never been to your house.

(upbeat dance music)

(upbeat dance music continues)

(upbeat dance music continues)

Oh my God. Oh my God, I'm so sorry.

I really cannot believe I just did that.

- It just took me by a surprise.

- And you've just like welcomed me into your home.

I really, I can't believe I did that. I'm, I'm so sorry.

- You know, I just. - I just.

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

- God

You probably think I'm so crazy,

like the whole rest of my family.

You know, I should go. I really should go. You know.

(upbeat music)

Now I'm confused.

- Me too.

- Is this like, crazy?

- Yeah.

(upbeat music)

- Oh God.

I can't believe that just happened.

- You know, that was the feeling I was looking for.

- Yeah.

- This really does keep getting crazier and crazier.

- I just know that life is short.

And you know, not too long from now,

I don't think we're gonna have this opportunity.

You know, I'll be busy with the baby.

You'll be making movies somewhere far away.

But we will always remember that one Summer,

as crazy as it was.

- Yeah, that's for sure,

very much.

(calm music)

(calm music continues)

(water running)

(upbeat music)

- [Lili] You really don't get to choose

who you fall in love with, it chooses you.

And I think for once I'll run with that.

(upbeat music continues)

Hey.

- Hey, what are you doing?

- This.

I love you.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

Will and I had snuck off into my room,

and I had played some candles and lit some music.

And he took it that I was ready to have sex with him.

I said played some candles and lit some music? Okay.

I played some candles.

- Yeah, this is our loving mother.

This is our loving.

I want a real loving mother.

Yeah, this is, yeah, this is our real.

Yeah, yeah, she's our real mother. Real love.

- [Director] Here we go.

- When you go down the, slide the banister of life.

Sorry. When you go down the slope.

- Anastasia? (shushing)

Can I help? - Oh, sorry.

One more time. - Can I help you?

- Can I help you?

(laughing)

You need something?

- So you like to shoot, I understand?

And I see you have a camera.

You know, I personally, sorry.

(laughing)

Sorry, guys. I'll do it again. Okay, all right.

- Maybe you guys should spend more time with Nate,

and then he can show you his-

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)

(upbeat music continues)