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♪♪ [ trumpet ]
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...where Western history
comes alive.
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Stories of the old West,
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00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:36,688
stories of hardships
and adventure,
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00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,648
of dreams,
and of courage,
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00:00:39,691 --> 00:00:42,042
stories of the American
pioneer,
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00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,000
are all a part
of our past,
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00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,088
of our heritage.
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00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,266
The history
of the Western gold fields
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00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:51,094
is filled
with strange tales
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00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,314
of how big strikes
were made,
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00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:54,924
but none were stranger
than the story
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00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:58,101
of the richest mine
in Alder Gulch, Montana.
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00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,190
Now, most of the strikes
in the gold-plated gulch
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00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:03,193
were the result of sweat
and elbow grease,
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00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,108
but in this case,
17
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,762
it was due
to the smell of...
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A handsome woman
is a jewel,
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a good woman
is a treasure,
20
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and you,
my fair Lucinda,
21
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,531
are the epitome of both.
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Never mind
the sweet talk,
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you old villain.
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Tell me what you'’ve done
about that job.
25
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Job?
26
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:49,935
Unfortunately, my dear,
27
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the labor consisted
of shoveling gravel
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for hours on end.
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It'’s honest work
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00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:57,291
and it pays well.
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Of course,
of course, my dear,
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but my--
my, uh-- back.
33
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:06,038
An old war injury,
you know.
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It impairs my prowess
with a shovel.
35
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[ chuckles ]
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[ coughs ]
The pain is very severe,
37
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you understand.
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Aye, Dan, aye,
that I do.
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Hold on,
you big-bellied baboon.
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Can'’t you run? You run.
41
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If we don'’t get there,
they'’ll all be sold out.
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Why, Lucinda,
my dear!
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And don'’t come back,
you old bauchle!
44
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They'’ll be nane more
pie for you
45
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until you go to work.
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Nae,
and nothin'’ else.
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Oh, Lucinda...
48
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[ cries ]
49
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,409
Uh, Miss Lucinda,
50
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,324
Miss Lucinda,
Please don'’t cry.
51
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,457
If that storyteller
did anything to you--
52
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,633
I'’m not cryin'.
I never cry.
53
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,765
Yes, I know, ma'’am,
but--
54
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We only came in for some
of your delicious pie.
55
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Of course.
Excuse me.
56
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,206
Yes, ma'’am.Two?
57
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,816
Uh, yes, ma'’am,
two, please.
58
00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:30,297
Oh, Miss Lucinda, if there'’s
anything at all we can do--
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00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:33,474
Like raisin'’ a few knots
on Dan Mickleson'’s head.
60
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,693
No.
61
00:03:35,737 --> 00:03:37,739
I mean,
he'’s a dangerous man.
62
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I-- I don'’t want
you to be hurt
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00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,611
on my account.
64
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,831
Dan Mickleson'’s
dangerous?
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00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:45,964
Uh, maybe
if we just talk to him.
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00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,183
By hand.
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00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,839
Mr. Coyle,
Mr. Briscoe,
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00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:52,275
you'’re good friends.
69
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LUCINDA:
Aye, and good men,
as well,
70
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,236
but I'’m afraid
it will take a miracle
71
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:57,628
to make Dan go to work.
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Thank you, kindly.
73
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Yessum.
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00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:05,070
Now, Miss Lucinda,
don'’t you be discouraged none.
75
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:08,117
Remember, them-- them miracles
is always happenin'’ and--
76
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,294
and I gotta feelin'’ one
is just before happenin'’, now.
77
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,562
"Dangerous."
78
00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,303
I could whoop
that lazy storyteller
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00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,913
with one hand.
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00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,002
Don'’t be dumb, Briscoe.
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00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:26,483
He may be a worthless critter,
but she'’s in love with him.
82
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:28,006
Don'’t you know
nothin'’ about love?
83
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,399
No, and neither do you.
84
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:32,272
Heck I don'’t,
I almost got married once.
85
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:33,577
You'’re lyin'.
86
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,492
I ain'’t doin'
no such a thing.
87
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,320
You remember when you were
laid up over at the house?
88
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There'’s this widow womanthere.
89
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:42,325
She owned a ranch
outside of town.
90
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,372
She had six cows.
91
00:04:45,415 --> 00:04:47,461
You never told me, Coyle.
92
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,332
Well, there'’s lots of things
I never told you.
93
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,420
You ain'’t my daddy.
94
00:04:50,464 --> 00:04:51,813
Yeah,
but I'’m your partner.
95
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:52,988
Well, that'’s different.
96
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,250
Ain'’t the same thing
at all.
97
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,425
You can be mad
at me tomorrow,
98
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,514
right now we gotta
figure out some way
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to keep
Miss Lucinda happy.
100
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:00,996
You know, we don'’t want
to lose the best pie baker
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00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,650
in Alder Gulch.
102
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,870
Yeah, the only
pie maker in Alder Gulch.
103
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,655
We gotta figure out
some way to get that old
104
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,091
Dan Mickleson
to go to work,
105
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,441
but that'’s gonna take
some real sneaky thinking.
106
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,188
Henry LeBaron.Henry LeBaron.
107
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,976
No.
108
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,065
No, absolutely not.
109
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,763
You two are not getting
me involved
110
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:31,374
in any more
of your crazy schemes.
111
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:32,941
You wasn'’t listenin',Henry.
112
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We want
you to do the schemin'’.
113
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Meddlers.
114
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,383
You two are born
meddlers.
115
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:41,732
We ain'’t
no such thing.
116
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,821
Look, never mind
the insults,
117
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,562
How do we get Dan
to go to work?
118
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:51,525
Well, uh--
that'’s a real problem.
119
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:54,919
Now, that, uh--
120
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:57,052
that'’s gonna take
some hard thinkin'’.
121
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,315
Well think.
Think.
122
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,971
Well, the trouble is,
I don'’t think too well
123
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,625
when I'’m hungry.
124
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,978
Oh, here,
have a hunk.
125
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,291
Blackmailer.
126
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,292
I'’m nothing of the kind.
127
00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,512
Merely, primin'’
the pump.
128
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:25,733
Well?
129
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,519
Well, first of all,
130
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:33,436
we have to find a reason
for Dan to want to work.
131
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,613
[ chuckles ]
Now, what'’s he like best?
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00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:38,659
Well, that'’s easy,
pie.
133
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,443
Exactly.
134
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:44,142
So, we have
Miss Lucinda cut him off,
135
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,492
and then--No, no.
She'’s already done that.
136
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:46,841
We just heard it.
137
00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:49,583
No, no, that was just talk.
He means for real.
138
00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,195
Yeah, but what if it don'’t
work, Henry?
139
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:59,854
Well, then we start
to put the pressure on him.
140
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,422
Oh.
141
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:08,428
[ singing ]
La-de-da-dey...
142
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:17,132
Fairest damsel
of them all,
143
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,351
May I offer you
a small token
144
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:21,223
of my esteem?
145
00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:23,399
Do you have a job yet?
146
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,792
Well, no.
147
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,184
LUCINDA:
Then you may not.
148
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:28,839
I'’ll be acceptin'
no tokens from a man
149
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,363
with empty pockets
and a fear of decent work.
150
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:32,800
But-- but, Lucinda--
151
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:34,976
But me no buts,
Dan Mickelson,
152
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:38,458
I'’ll no be courted
by a worthless loafer.
153
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:41,025
Will you not even allow
me to tell you a tale
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00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:43,506
of romance and adventure,
155
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:47,031
in exchange for a wee
piece of pie?
156
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,424
I told ya,
157
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,775
no more pie till
you go to work.
158
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,821
As you command,
my dear.
159
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:57,041
I shall go seeking
employment this very day.
160
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:26,636
Employment?
Ah, the man'’s hopeless.
161
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,989
Hopeless,
I tell ya!
162
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:34,905
The man cares for naught
but his books and his stories.
163
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,516
Nonsense, Miss Lucinda.
164
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,300
Now, Dan loves you
and you know it.
165
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:39,649
Aye, maybe he does,
166
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:42,043
but he'’ll never be able
to support a wife,
167
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,349
and I'’ll nae support
any man.
168
00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:45,742
Well, of course not.
169
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:46,917
Now, you just don'’t
give up hope.
170
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,180
Why, we'’ve
barely started.
171
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:50,965
Yeah, a few more weeks
without your pie,
172
00:08:51,008 --> 00:08:53,271
he'’s gonna feel
mighty different.
173
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,709
I fear it'’s no use.
174
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,145
Miss Lucinda,
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00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,451
Henry'’s got lots
more ideas.
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COYLE:
Ain'’t you, Henry?
177
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,629
Well, he'’d better have.
178
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,544
Yes, yes,
of course.
179
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,110
Now, you just hang on,
Miss Lucinda.
180
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,983
We'’ll have Dan workin'
in two weeks.
181
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,375
You'’re good friends
182
00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,029
and you mean well,
183
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,684
but I'’m afraid you're
wastin'’ your time.
184
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,948
Aye, and me too.
185
00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:20,168
I'’ll be going now.
186
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,349
Well?
187
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,569
Oh, hush up
and sit down.
188
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,136
I'’m gettin' an idea.
189
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,355
It better
be a good one.
190
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,706
Dan'’s not really
worried yet
191
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,316
because he figures
that she'’s gonna soften up
192
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,709
sooner or later.
193
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,406
Well, she always does.
194
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:42,712
And why?
195
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:45,628
Because she loves him
and he knows it.
196
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,499
And why?
How does he know it?
197
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,153
Oh, for Pete'’s sakes,
198
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:51,373
because she ain'’t
never looked at anyone twice.
199
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,374
That'’s why.
200
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,028
Exactly!
201
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:56,508
Well,
202
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:59,990
Dan Mickleson is gonna have
a rival for Miss Lucinda'’s hand.
203
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:02,776
Oh, you'’re loco,
she wouldn'’t--
204
00:10:02,819 --> 00:10:06,344
Oh, hush up.
He means pretend.
205
00:10:06,388 --> 00:10:07,563
Don'’t you?
206
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,391
Yes, of course.
207
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,263
If Dan thinks
there'’s a chance
208
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:13,830
that he might really
lose her,
209
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,005
there ain'’t nothing
he won'’t do
210
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:16,180
to hang onto her,
211
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,792
even go to work.
212
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:23,187
Well, you'’re the love expert.
What do you think?
213
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:24,449
It just might work.
214
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,756
The problem is,
to find the right man.
215
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,717
Someone that Dan will
take seriously,
216
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,416
like maybe a miner
with a rich claim.
217
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:37,419
Well, don'’t look at me,
I'’m too ugly and "igornant."
218
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:40,465
Now, Coyle,
he'’s a regular Casanova.
219
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,032
He knows
all about women
220
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,381
and all that.
221
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,993
Oh, hush up.
I'’m just as ugly as you are,
222
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:48,865
and I ain'’t
got no smarts, neither.
223
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:51,215
Oh, relax,
you'’re both too old.
224
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,652
Old?
225
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,045
Old!
226
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:58,179
No, we need a man--
a man about 45.
227
00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,354
Handsome,
228
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:02,096
well-educated,
a smooth talker.
229
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,277
You thinkin'’
what I'’m thinkin'?
230
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,585
I'’m thinkin'
he'’d be perfect.
231
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:16,371
Well, not perfect,
but he'’ll sure do.
232
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,634
[ chuckling ]
233
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,289
Who you talkin'’ about?
234
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,861
Henry...
235
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,519
Oh, no, no--
236
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:35,520
no, not me.
237
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,044
I absolutely refuse.
238
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:38,306
There is no way.
239
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,786
No, no, I told you--
No!
240
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:41,918
No!
241
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,574
Yancey, my friend,
242
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,445
you make
the tastiest Irish stew
243
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,099
in Alder Gulch.
244
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,275
How about some more?
There'’s plenty here.
245
00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:53,582
No thanks, I'’m full.
246
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,717
Unless, perhaps,
247
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,285
you wouldn'’t happen to have
a wee piece of pie?
248
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,505
If I did, I'’d sure
be eatin'’ it myself.
249
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:09,293
Um, I hear Miss Lucinda'’s
cut you off.
250
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:12,383
[ chuckles ]
Merely a temporary maneuver
251
00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:15,996
to enmesh me in the coils
of crude labor.
252
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:17,954
The way we got it,
she'’s passin' out the pie
253
00:12:17,998 --> 00:12:20,087
to Henry LeBaron now.
254
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,263
Gossip, my friend,
gossip.
255
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,830
Foul prevarication.
256
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,745
Well, never mind that now.
How about that play?
257
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:27,094
Let'’s hear
the end of it.
258
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:30,358
Very well.
259
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:33,100
Gentlemen,
lend me your ears.
260
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:36,886
This is the final act
of that horrendous tragedy,
261
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,933
Macbeth.
262
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:43,545
The action takes place
in that old castle,
263
00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:46,853
in the anteroom
at Dunsinane.
264
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,814
Hey,
there he is, Coyle,
265
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,950
I wonder
what he'’s readin' today.
266
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,995
Don'’t make no nevermind.
We ain'’t here to listen
267
00:12:59,039 --> 00:13:01,389
to no stories.
268
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,528
Now, slip your arm
through mine.
269
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,703
Move closer,
270
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,835
and smile up at me.
271
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:13,967
Like this?
272
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,316
Yes, that'’s fine.
273
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:18,101
DAN:
"Tomorrow, and tomorrow,
and tomorrow,
274
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:21,061
"creeps in this petty pace
from day to day,
275
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:24,368
"to the last syllable
of recorded time,
276
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:27,719
"and all our yesterdays
have lighted fools
277
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:29,721
"the way to dusty death.
278
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:32,376
"Out, out, brief candle!
279
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,857
"Life is but a walking
shadow,
280
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,816
"a poor player
that struts
281
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,992
"and frets his hour
upon the stage
282
00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:41,037
"and then is heard
no more.
283
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,300
It is a tale
told by an idiot--"
284
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,743
Gentlemen,
285
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,571
I'’m afraid
I'’ll have to finish
286
00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,617
this soliloquy later.
287
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:58,663
There is some business
of great urgency
288
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,448
I must attend to.
289
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,671
Come on, this could
be better than Macbeth.
290
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,289
Whoa, whoa!
291
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:18,640
Down from there,
292
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,598
you storekeeper!
293
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:21,599
Oh, what the devil--
294
00:14:21,643 --> 00:14:22,905
Dan Mickleson,
you go away!
295
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,864
You keep out of this!
Back to your kitchen!
296
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,127
Now, look here, you!No, I'’ll teach you
297
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,216
to practice your French
wiles on my lady.
298
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,131
Oh, for
the love of mud!
299
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,483
Dan, stop it!
300
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,832
Be quiet, my lady!
301
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,617
I'’m only going
to thrash him.
302
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,924
On your feet,
you blaggard!
303
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,492
Why, you silly loafer!
304
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:49,584
Ah!
305
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,750
Stop that!Hey, you!
306
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,851
And now,
my fairest Lucinda,
307
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:42,767
Don'’t you speak to me,
you beast!
308
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,075
But, my dear!
My sweet!
309
00:15:46,119 --> 00:15:47,729
I was only defending
your virtue!
310
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,209
You best
leave her alone.
311
00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:51,689
Yeah, she'’s found
a man who can support her.
312
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:52,995
But I can,
I will.
313
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,345
Oh, yeah, you can
read her them stories.
314
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,564
You better get away
from here, old man,
315
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,044
or we'’ll swat
you like a fly.
316
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,175
But, gentlemen,
317
00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:01,221
You'’re making
an grievous error.
318
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:03,963
Lucinda loves me!
319
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,887
Someday, I'’ll find
me a goldmine.
320
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,628
You'’ll see.
321
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:19,587
You'’ll all see.
322
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,032
Oh.
323
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:33,340
Oh, now that,
that is a lie.
324
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:34,732
I'’d have demolished him,
325
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,560
if it hadn'’t been
for that woman
326
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:38,606
clubbing me
from behind.
327
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,477
Sure you would,
Henry.
328
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,478
Well, it'’s the truth!
329
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:42,784
Oh, of course it is.
330
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:45,482
She must have hit you
with that little stick
331
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,483
three, four, times.
332
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,007
Little stick?
333
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,010
Why, that club
was at least a foot thick,
at least!
334
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:54,317
Oh, yeah, at least.
335
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:55,536
It serves me right
for listening
336
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:56,667
to you two lunatics
337
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,191
in the first place.
338
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,628
You didn'’t want Miss Lucinda
to get mad and move away
339
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,412
no more than we did.
340
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:05,589
Well, anyway,
that'’s settled for now.
341
00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,069
Dan did go to work,
didn'’t he?
342
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,028
Oh, yeah.
343
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:10,768
Went to work all right,
got hisself a job
344
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,814
helping Yancey
that very same day.
345
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:14,337
Thank heavens for that.
346
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,860
And got fired
the next morning
347
00:17:15,904 --> 00:17:18,211
when Yancey found him readin'’
instead of shovelin'’.
348
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,430
Oh, no!
349
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,693
It appears to me
you'’re gonna have to come up
350
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,043
with somethin'’ new, Henry.
351
00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:27,089
Yep.
352
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,483
Somethin'’ that'll
really work this time.
353
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,358
Now, look, if you two think
I'’m gonna get mixed up
354
00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,577
with that pair again,
355
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,058
you'’re a few bricks
short of a load.
356
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,973
I just thought you'’d like
to have a chance
357
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,063
to get even with old Dan,
you know.
358
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,151
Ah!
359
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:50,460
I reckon some fellas
don'’t mind bein' whooped.
360
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:51,548
Yeah.
361
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,160
You know,
it kind of irritated me
362
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,075
the way old Dan
was braggin'’
363
00:17:56,118 --> 00:18:00,166
how he stomped Henry
for cozyin'’ up
to his lady friend.
364
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,515
He what?
365
00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:02,864
Why, that Irish pip-squeak,
366
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:05,258
I'’ll take him apart
corpuscle by cor--
367
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,048
It wouldn'’t hurt him
nearly as much,
368
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,181
if you made
him go to work.
369
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:19,402
Yeah.
370
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,491
You know, Dan gets by
without working
371
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,232
because the miners
feed him
372
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:26,496
in order to hear
his stories.
373
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,672
Now, suppose
those same miners
374
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,326
should get mad at him.
375
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,111
[ chuckles ]
376
00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,851
You know, Dan hasn'’t
had a taste of pie
377
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,288
in about three weeks,
378
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,681
and Miss Lucinda'’s
bakin'’ pie tomorrow.
379
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,075
You got it?
380
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:43,774
You know, Dan'’s always
wanted a gold mine.
381
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,950
Oh, yeah.
382
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,735
Well, we'’re gonna see
that he gets one
383
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:50,825
and that he works it.
Now, listen.
384
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,147
Miss Lucinda,
Miss Lucinda!
385
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:54,932
Come quick,
Coyle'’s been hurt!
386
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:56,717
Well, I can'’t
come right now.
387
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,198
HENRY: But you'’ve gotta come.
He needs you!
388
00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:02,549
LUCINDA:
Aye, I'’ll come!
389
00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:51,685
Hey, stop! Thief!
390
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,429
Stop! Come back here!
391
00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:05,176
Please stop him!
He stole that pie!
392
00:21:11,182 --> 00:21:12,532
Please, fellows,
393
00:21:12,575 --> 00:21:15,012
I had no intention.
394
00:21:15,056 --> 00:21:16,710
It'’s only a little pie.
395
00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:22,193
COYLE:Dan Mickleson,
this here Miner'’s Court
396
00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:25,109
has found you guilty
of stealin'’ a dried peach pie
397
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,111
from
Miss Lucinda MacPherson.
398
00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:29,766
But it was only
a wee little pie.
399
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,420
COYLE:
Hush up.
400
00:21:31,464 --> 00:21:33,074
It is the sentence
of this here Court,
401
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:34,380
that for the next
six months,
402
00:21:34,423 --> 00:21:36,469
you work,
or you don'’t eat.
403
00:21:38,949 --> 00:21:40,516
Now, we'’ve marked
you out a claim up there,
404
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,649
on the side
of that hill.
405
00:21:42,692 --> 00:21:43,867
Now, Mr. Briscoe,
406
00:21:43,911 --> 00:21:46,217
you will hand
the prisoner his pick.
407
00:21:46,261 --> 00:21:49,308
Yes, sir,
Mr. Coyle.
408
00:21:55,749 --> 00:21:59,579
But there'’s no gold
on that hillside.
409
00:21:59,622 --> 00:22:01,842
If you don'’t work,
you don'’t eat.
410
00:22:04,148 --> 00:22:05,628
But for six months?
411
00:22:05,672 --> 00:22:07,369
Every day of it,
412
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:08,849
and there'’s gonna
be someone right here
413
00:22:08,892 --> 00:22:12,243
all the time to see
that you don'’t do no loafing.
414
00:22:12,287 --> 00:22:14,115
Gentlemen,
415
00:22:14,158 --> 00:22:16,335
Gentlemen,
this is inhuman.
416
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:17,466
My poor back.
417
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:21,905
The sentence starts
right now, so get!
418
00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:24,343
I won'’t.
I won'’t!
419
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,390
Maybe he'’d rather we strung
him up by his thumbs
420
00:22:28,434 --> 00:22:29,913
for a few days.
421
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:33,090
ALL:Yeah.
422
00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:36,442
Or we could tie him
to a couple of mules.
423
00:22:37,878 --> 00:22:40,707
Enough, enough.
I'’ll work!
424
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,143
That'’s the spirit!
425
00:22:42,186 --> 00:22:44,754
Who knows?
You might strike it rich!
426
00:22:51,587 --> 00:22:54,503
[ laughter ]
427
00:23:14,349 --> 00:23:15,698
[ laughter ]
428
00:23:19,528 --> 00:23:22,531
Come on, put your back
into it, harder!
429
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,927
BRISCOE:
That'’s the spirit!
430
00:23:31,018 --> 00:23:32,672
Well, now what'’s wrong?
431
00:23:35,805 --> 00:23:37,764
There'’s gold.
Gold!
432
00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:38,765
What?
433
00:23:38,808 --> 00:23:40,941
DAN:
I struck a vein!
434
00:23:40,984 --> 00:23:43,030
Look!
I'’m rich!
435
00:23:43,073 --> 00:23:45,075
[ laughs ]
436
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:46,076
I'’m rich!
437
00:23:50,516 --> 00:23:53,040
[ chuckles ]
The biggest strike
in Alder Gulch,
438
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:54,607
and we had to give
it to him.
439
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:56,957
Yeah, and then he sells it
and takes Miss Lucinda away
440
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,001
for good.
441
00:23:58,045 --> 00:23:59,829
I think I may cut
my throat.
442
00:23:59,873 --> 00:24:02,615
Well, no more
pies for us.
443
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:04,312
Hey, wait, Coyle.
444
00:24:04,355 --> 00:24:06,270
I heard there'’s a woman
over in White Flats
445
00:24:06,314 --> 00:24:08,272
who makes
wonderful pies.
Oh?
446
00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:10,100
Yeah, now all we have
to do is figure out
447
00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:11,362
how to get her over here.
448
00:24:11,406 --> 00:24:13,190
She takes over
Miss Lucinda'’s place,
449
00:24:13,234 --> 00:24:14,627
and then--
450
00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:17,064
Oh, but that would take
a lot of tall schemin'’.
451
00:24:17,107 --> 00:24:18,500
Well, what we gotta
do is get a fella,
452
00:24:18,544 --> 00:24:22,417
you know,
a gentleman type fella.
453
00:24:25,594 --> 00:24:26,726
Oh, no.
454
00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:28,292
Oh, no you two don'’t.
455
00:24:28,336 --> 00:24:29,685
Now, I got beat up once--
456
00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:32,340
[ chattering ]
457
00:24:35,561 --> 00:24:38,302
So, it happened
in Alder Gulch,
458
00:24:38,346 --> 00:24:40,043
where thousands
of hardworking miners
459
00:24:40,087 --> 00:24:43,046
toiled and searched
for the pot of gold,
460
00:24:43,090 --> 00:24:46,223
and one man'’s laziness
and his hunger for pie
461
00:24:46,267 --> 00:24:48,791
led him to an incredible
fortune.
462
00:24:48,835 --> 00:24:52,491
Strange? Yes,
but true.
31839
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