Original subtitles

♪♪ [ trumpet ]

...where Western history comes alive.

Stories of the Old West

are stories of hardships and adventure,

of dreams and of courage.

Stories of the American pioneer

are all a part of our past, of our heritage.

"Gold" was the magic word that made the West a melting pot,

and into it poured an incredible mixture of people--

bootblacks and bankers,

shoe clerks and socialites.

They came seeking their golden dreams with shovels and pans.

Well, some of them found the precious metal.

And in a small river in Utah,

two of them found something far more valuable than gold,

as you will see in...

Charley?Huh?

I smell booze.

Booze?

[ sniffs, scoffs ]

You be too long in the sun.

This here river ain'’t nothing but pure, clear water.

It ain'’t the river I'’m talking about, and you know it.

Move to one side.

Wait a minute now. Listen, we got a good claim going for us here.

Let'’s get back to work and forget all about it.Come on.

And this?

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Now, on my soul, I can'’t imagine where that came from.

It must be the people who were here before, huh?

Oh, then, it'’s not yours?

Cert-- Mine? Of course it'’s not mine.

Didn'’t I tell you I wouldn'’t do any guzzlin' durin'’ the--

What are you doing?Stop it.

Oh, I have to. This may even be poisoned.

Oh, come o--

Of all the miserable,

dirty, horrible, low-down tricks I ever saw.

You know, you'’re worser than an Apache.

Charley, I'’m just trying to help you resist temptation.

Yeah, well, thanks very much. Very decent of you.

Come on. Let'’s get back to our gold.

Well, there'’s nothing else to do around here, that'’s for sure.

[ hoofbeats approaching ]

No need for you to unsaddle, Taggart.

No?

No, son.[ clicks ]

Nary a need in the world.

I sure wish you'’d listen, Taggart. I really do.

We done told you before, you ain'’t jumping this claim.

You wanna grab it for yourselves, huh?

Allow, we could if we wanted to, which we don'’t.

Happens this claim was staked by Dick Vail.

And Dick Vail died more than a month ago, so I'’m taking over.

Figure a run there,Taggart.

Dick had some kin back East,

so the claim belongs to them now.

They don'’t know about it.You'’re wrong again.

We wrote '’em right after Dick went under.

Now, look, there'’s enough here for all of us.

If you two'’ll listen to reason, I'’ll split.

Ain'’t interested. We got a claim of our own.

You'’re being very stupid. We could clear out this whole area before--

You better leave, Taggart, before you unravel my patience.

All right. But I'’ll be back.

And when I do, I'’ll have help. Gun help.

You know, that gent ain'’t fooling.

No. I guess we'’d better move into Dick'’s cabin

until his kinfolk gets here.

Good idea. Let'’s get our stuff.Come on.

Well, it seems there was this fella, Goliath.

Oh, he must'’ve been about eleven-teen feet tall

and heftin'’ a thousand pounds.

Aw, come on now.And he--

No. No, it'’s true.

He was one of those real big giants.

Well, he got to shouting and screaming and yelling,

"Send out your best men for me to fight!"

Of course, everyone was trying to hide,

because nobody wanted to fight Goliath.

Well, you can'’t hardly blame '’em for that.

No, no, no. But somebody had to.

Finally, there was this young sheepherder,

and he knows he could lick Goliath.

Leastways, he'’d like to try.

His name was David.

A real warrior, huh?

No. No.

He was just a wet-nosed kid. Ha.

Goliath'’s beard was even taller than Davey.

But he had a slingshot.

A slingshot? Was that all?

Well, that'’s all he figured he needed.

Anyhow, he said himself a couple of prayers,

and he wound up,

and he let this stone go

that split Goliath'’s skull right in two.

Killed him?

Killed him plumb dead, yes. [ chuckles ]

And when he bit the dust, all of them Philistines skedaddled.

Aw, that'’s hard to believe.

Well, it'’s right out of the Bible.

It can'’t be any truer than that, can it?

No.

Well, I think that'’s all-- all for tonight.

If that feller Taggart comes sneakin'’ around here,

I might have a good steady hand.

True. You missed him pretty close today.

Aw, I had a good couple of inches to spare.

Hey, tell me something.

When do you think Dick'’s kinfolk are going to answer that letter?

Well, there'’s no way of knowing, Charley.

Say, will you tell me another story?

I love to listen to you talk.

[ chuckles ] Yeah, listen,

did I ever tell you the one about Jonie and the whale?

No.Oh, you'’ll love this one.

What is that?

That'’s Dick Vail's cabin. You said you wanted to come.

You mean my brother actually lived in that-- in that place?

Yeah. Dick was kind of fussy.

Always liked his comfort.

Ohh! Comfort?

Oh, well,

I suppose it shall have to do.

Well, don'’t just stand there, Mr. Ives.

Unload my bags and bring them in.

Aahh! Ohh![ gasping ]

Oh, my gosh!

[ gasps ]

MAN: A what?

Ugh!Uh--

Mr. Ives, what are those ruffians doing in my cabin?

Huh? Well, I don'’t know.

Well, make them leave!

Ohh!

You! You inside there, open this door at once!

Do you hear me?

Excuse me, ma'’am, but, see, we weren'’t expecting company.

I am not company.

My name is Wilhelmina Vail,

and I will thank you creatures to leave my property.

Vail. Then you must be Dick'’s...

Yes, Richard was my brother.

And now, if you ruffians will kindly get out of my cabin.

Wait just a minute. I'’m trying to explain that--

Do you go, or do I get Mr. Ives to throw you out?

Who, me, lady? I don'’t-- Stokes, you know I wouldn'’t--

Ives, I understand.

Look, I'’m just trying to explain that--

I am not interested in your explanations.

Just go away and leave me in peace.

We'’ll gladly go as soon as we get our gear packed.

Say, who was that charming--That was Dick'’s sister,

and she don'’t want no ruffians like us hanging around here,

so get your stuff together.

We'’re gonna move back to our own camp.

Right now? Come on--You heard me!

Miss Vail, you'’re wrong about them.

They own the next claim. A rich one, too.

Then why were they trying to steal my brother'’s?

Didn'’t figure they were.

They were living in his cabin.

Maybe they had a reason. Fact is, lady,

they'’ve been keeping Jack Taggart from jumping this claim.

You owe Charley and Stokes plenty.

Stokes?

Was that Stokes LaFever?

Same as writ you.

Oh, dear! I didn'’t realize.

Oh...

Well, anyway, like I was tellin'’ ya,

this here gent named Potiphar had a gorgeous wife,

and she...

Stokes, you ain'’t listenin'.

Aw, Charley, I'’m sorry.

She'’ll be all right.

I suppose so. But a woman like that all alone...

She'’s not exactly a pioneer.

No. No. True.

You know, I bet you she even forgot to bring some grub.

Maybe I should take her some.You stay put.

She wants any grub, she can ask us for it. She knows we'’re here.

Right.

Thing I'’m really worried about is Taggart.

If he shows up, there'’s gonna be some shootin'.

You know, maybe I should warn her.

Well, we can'’t leave her alone...

Wait a minute.

You figurin'’ on being a brave hero or maybe a jackass?

It'’d be a lot easier if Taggart would get himself snakebit or something.

Something like you planting a slug

right twixt his liver and his lights, huh?

Oh, I'’d give him his chance.

He wouldn'’t fight you fair, and well you know it.

Be better for me maybe to-- [ knocking on door ]

Come in. Come in.

Perhaps you'’d better let me decide what'’s to be done.

After all, it'’s my claim he's after.

Oh, Miss Vail, we were just try--

My name is Wilhelmina,

and I came to apologize for the way I acted today.

Well, that'’s all right.

No. No, I was unforgivably rude, and I am sorry.

It'’s just that I thought...

Well, I thought wrong, that'’s all.

Oh, no grudges here, Miss Vail.

Come on in. Set yourself down, have some coffee.

Thank you, Mr., um...

Gentry. Charley Gentry.

[ clears throat ]

My name'’s Stokes LaFever.

Yes, I know. Mr. Ives told me.

It was so kind of you to write me about Richard.

Oh, Stokes here can write real good, but I can read better.

And talk better, if you'’re so-- well, if you'’re not tired.

But he'’s the best storyteller you ever heard.

Oh, I just picked up a few old stories from the Bible, that'’s all.

Oh, really, Mr. Gentry? I should love to hear them.

Ooh. Ooh, it is strong, isn'’t it?

Just a mite, ma'’am.

Yes.

Now, I'’d like to thank you both

for taking such good care of Richard'’s claim,

and I think we should discuss the problem

of this, um, Taggart person.

Oh, I'’ll take care...I'’ll take care...

You'’re both wrong.I will.

You?Me.

Mr. Ives has been kind enough to lend me his shotgun,

and I can assure you I know how to fire it.

Yeah, but--But-- But--

Oh, gentlemen, please.

If I can hit woodcock on the wing,

I'’m sure I can hit a...

What is it? A claim jumper?

Yes, ma'’am, but you--

No more "buts," please.

I'’m very grateful,

and I don'’t want you to endanger yourselves on my account.

Oh, I would consider it an honor

if you would join me at supper tomorrow.

Gentlemen.

Yep, she sure is some woman.

Yeah. She sure is.

[ footsteps approaching ]

You'’re doing it all wrong, Miss Wilhelmina.

Did I ask for your criticism?

[ mutters ]

Oh, Mr. LaFever!

Come back, please.

Yes, ma'’am?

I didn'’t mean to be so sharp.

It'’s just...

Well, I'’m not used to having people being so kind to me.

That'’s hard to believe,

a woman as beautiful as you are.

Beautiful? Me?

Oh, Mr. LaFever, you'’re very gallant.

But I have mirrors. I know how I look.

Well, you happen to know wrong.

See, I'’m a mountain boy from Tennessee.

I'’ve got real good eyes,

and you'’re the prettiest woman I ever saw.

Oh, uh-- Oh--

Oh, I-- I'’m dressed in my brother'’s old clothes,

and my hair'’s a mess.

We'’re not talking about your duds,

we'’re talking about you.

Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

It'’s just that back home,

a lady wouldn'’t dare be seen in such a costume.

Men would laugh.

Any man that'’d laugh at you would have to be blind in one eye

and couldn'’t see out of the other.

Fancy duds are fine,

and so is a pretty face,

but all those things don'’t go to make a woman beautiful.

Well, then, what does?

Well, I don'’t exactly know.

See, I'’m not very good with those fancy words, and...

Something that comes from right in here, and...

Can'’t call it either this or that,

but it shows,

and a man can see it if he'’s looking for it.

Oh, Mr. LaFever, I think you'’re very good with words.

Oh, please, call me Stokes.

You know something else, Stokes?

I think you'’re rather beautiful.

There'’s no need to go funnin'’ me, Miss Wilhelmina.

Now, you wanna learn to use that thing?

Hmm? Oh. Oh, yes.

Is there really gold down here?

Why, sure. Me and Charley got

nearly 40, 50 thousand in our cache now.

Oh, my!

Oh, well, where is Mr. Gentry this morning?

Well, uh, Charley'’s not feeling too good today.

Can I help? If he'’s ill--

No, he just had a little too much to...

If he has a couple of quarts of coffee, he'’s gonna feel fine.

Now, you see, gold is heavier than sand.

So you just swirl the water around like that.

That washes the sand away and leaves the gold in the bottom.

Oh, yes.

CHARLEY: Then old Joshua sent his men

to walk around them walls and blow the trumpets,

and get her to beat the band--

Oh, no, Charley. It was only the priests who blew the trumpets.

[ clears throat ]

Oh, I am sorry. Do go on.

Anyway,

them Jericho soldiers, they were laughing at Joshua'’s boys,

when all of a sudden, them walls fell smack dab on the ground.

Joshua'’s lads ran in, and they whupped the daylights out of them-- them Jericho boys.

Oh, that was fine, Charley.

You told it wonderfully.

Would you like some more coffee?

No, no, no, thanks. No.

Talking always makes me a little dry.

Well, thanks for the grub, Miss Wilhelmina.

Good afternoon to ya. [ door opens ]

Charley, wait. [ door closes ]

I'’m sorry. I never should'’ve corrected him.

No, it'’s not that.

Charley'’s got a-- a sort of a problem.

Drink?It'’s got the awfulest hold on him.

It'’s not that he's a drunk,mind ya.

It'’s just that sometimes he can'’t... [ horse whinnies ]

Shh. Stay put.

I think you got company coming.

Care for a gun, Mr. LaFever?

Thank you kindly, Mr. Gentry.

[ clicks ]

Taggart...

I know it'’ll be a strain, but you better turn honest.

You'’re too dang noisy to make a good crook.

Now drop those shooters.

I think you'’re the ones who better drop them guns.

[ clicks ]

You first, Stokes.[ clicks ]

[ clicks ]

Wilhelmina, are you all right?

Of course I'’m all right.

It was his blasted shotgun.

He must'’ve loaded it with dynamite.

Old Ives stuffs a double-load of buckshot in it and throws in extra powder.

Gives it more authority.

Buckshot?

But that could ki--

You sure can shoot, Miss Wilhelmina.

He'’s got more holes in him than a colander.

You mean, he'’s dead?

Couldn'’t be any deader.

Oh, dear.

Ahh!

You wanna hear a story?

Sure, Charley. Go ahead.

Uh, no. I ain'’t in the mood.

Couple more drinks like that, you won'’t be able to talk.

Couple of more drinks, and I won'’t care.

But I will.Huh?

I reckon you would, at that.

And Wilhelmina, she worries about you, too, Charley.

All females worry.

They wouldn'’t be happy unless they were worrying about something

or somebody.

She'’s not a female!

I mean, she'’s a lady.

Oh, sure. No offense. No offense.

Reckon she'’d make a fair partner for the right man, Stokes.

Yeah, allow, she would.

Swell cook.

Knows more stories than I do.

Probably can even tell them better than I can.

Don'’t get drunk neither.

If you think I'’m gonna let her or any other woman

break up our partnership, you'’re wrong.

No. No, no, no. You'’re--

You may be a bonehead, but you'’re a loyal bonehead.

You lay off of that jug, and no man could ever fault you, Charley.

Yeah. I ain'’t very pretty, though.

Aw, now, lay off of that stuff!

You and me'’s partners, and that'’s the way it'’s gonna stay.

[ chuckles ] You know,

I guess you'’re a bigger bonehead than I thought you were.

Well, I guess it'’s up to me.

One of us has got to have some sense.

Hmm?

We'’ve got to do something, Stokes.

This is the third straight day he'’s been drunk.

I know, but what?

He won'’t even try anymore.

Say, maybe you could talk to him.

Charley!

Hey, Charley!

[ sighs ]

Well, at least he didn'’t take his jug.

No.

But I'’m gonna take that jug and throw it right in the river.

It'’s plumb full.

Well, there'’s one jug that won'’t poison him anymore.

I'’m gonna bust any of the rest of them he brings into camp.

Well, I suppose it has to be done.

[ scoffs ] I wonder where on earth he can be.

No telling. When he'’s drinking, he sometimes wanders off.

What'’s that?

No. No.

It'’s from Charley.

CHARLEY: I done tried to give up my whiskey,

but I can'’t.

So I'’m leaving the country.

I split up our gold fair and square.

Put your share in this here jug.

I sealed the top good.

Claim'’s all yours.

So long, part.

I'’m afraid he's gone for good this time, Stokes,

and all your gold, too.

I just can'’t believe it.

My partner'’s gone,

and my gold.

Just like that, everything'’s gone.

Not everything, Stokes.

Not quite everything.

No. I lost an awful lot today,

but I think I found something that'’s even more important.

You know, Wilhelmina,

I got the idea that old Charley had it figured this way.

[ chuckling ] Oh, dear.

"Gold" was a magic word, all right.

It brought the people West.

But in their search among the mountains and along the streams,

there were many like Stokes LaFever and Wilhelmina Vail,

who found that life held treasures that were far more satisfying

than a jug full of gold.

This show was based upon an anecdote

from the book, Treasures of the Dead,

published by The Tombstone Epitaph.