All language subtitles for S15E14.Doc Holidays Gold Bars.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.H264.AAC-jenkins_track3_[eng]

♪ [trumpet]

Doc Holliday,
said by Wyatt Earp

to be the nerviest,
speediest, deadliest man

with a six-gun
who ever lived.

Charming Southern gentleman,
dentist, consumptive,

gambler, killer--

Doc was something else
few know about.

But when the right person
came along, Doc was also

a con-man.

We'll see him now,
and the astonishing result,

in this story of
"Doc Holliday's Gold Bars."

Good morning, Doc.

It might have been.

'Cept for this
faro table last night.

I heard.
[ coughs ]

Breakfast, Doc?

Ah, yes. Thank you.

Not easy
to buck the tiger.

Every card turned
up wrong.

Still, I maintain that
any faro bank can be broken.

If the player
has enough capital.

The question, my friend:
how to come by that capital.

[ chuckles ]

Oh, bartender,
can you tell me what time
the dining room opens

for breakfast?Well, good mornin', sir.

Won't you join me?

No thank you.Uh, excuse me, sir.

This is, uh,
Doc Holliday.

TheDoc...
Holliday?

Come now, sir.

There's no reason why
two gentlemen can't enjoy

a small, pre-breakfast
libation together!

Oh-- Oh, yes, sir!

Another glass, please.Yes, sir, Doctor.

Oh, I'm Walter Benson,
of Chicago.

Oh, pleased
to meet you, sir.

How do you find Arizona?Hot.

[ chuckles ]
Yes, sir, had a little
sand, sagebrush,

cactus--
about got it all.

Thank you.
And goldmines.

Well, you interested
in gold mines, Mr. Benson?

Oh, I'm an investment banker.

After the prospectors
have searched, and
sweated and scratched,

and found it,
I'll buy them out.

I use money
to make money.

Your health, sir.

[ sighs ]

Appears to me, Mr. Benson,
that what you're looking for

are sure-fire deals.

At a price.
You'll find that
investment bankers

are extremely...
prudent men.

Hmm.

Well, um, sometimes
there's another prudent man

that has a problem,
even when he's found gold.

[ laughs ]
That's a problem?

[ chuckles ]

Well, there are occasions
when finding the gold

is the easiest part--
then comes the problem.

Well, I don't understand
what problem you have in mind.

Once the mine has been located
and the ownership established--

[ chuckles ]
every man has his price.

Well, all gold is not found
in mines, Mr. Benson.

Some of it's found
in nice, solid bars.

Solid bars?
Mm-hmm!

Eighteen of 'em.

Well I-I don't understand!
How?

Well, now you're
beginning to understand
the problem.

Disposing of it.
Even at a bargain price.

These, uh, 18 bars.

I mean, what happened?

Oh, everybody knows
about it.

Stagecoach holdup.
Government bullion.

Marshals found the outlaws.
Never did find the gold.

You uh, know where
these gold bars are?

Oh!
[ chuckles ]

Now, I didn't say that,
Mr. Benson.

I didn't say a thing.

Well, if you'll excuse me--Oh, don't leave just yet.

You haven't finished
your breakfast.

Another time, sir.

I am now going to get me
some of that nice,

dry, Arizona air.

Pleasure to meet you, sir.Thank you.

♪ [ harmonica ]

[ horse neighs ]

Oh, 'mornin', Doc.

Mornin', Creek.You're up kinda early
for you.

Except maybe that faro game
was as rough as I hear.

Oh, that tiger
really bucked me.

Fang and claw.I'm gonna break
that bank one day,

if I ever get me a stake
big enough to work with!

We're both about to, Creek.
That's why I'm here.

Oh?
[ sighs ]

I found us
a nice, fat trout.

Mr. Walter Benson,
investment banker
from Chicago.

Who thinks my tongue loosens
if I have a little sip
to ease my consumption.

[ both laughing ]

Oh, I cast a fly.
He'll leap for it.

Investment banker, huh?

Yeah, this one has
dollar signs where
his eyes should be.

What's our pitch?

You remember
the Prescott holdup?

Government bullion?

18 bars solid gold,
$100,000?
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, but they
never found that.
Correction:

It's just been found.

Where?

One of 'em's right down
here in your well.

[ chuckles ][ laughs ]

And another one's gonna
be in my hotel room.

And we hand
the rest of 'em over
to him when he pays us.

$100,000!Well, we-- We might
discount that a little,

to say, uh, $20,000?

See, as a banker,
he'll know how to
dispose of those bars.

My listenin' ear
is wide open.
All right.

Now, you have
18 lead bars made up.

Each stamped,
"Property, US Government,"

a different number stamp
on each bar.

You gild 'em, and you
hang one down this well.

Oh, and uh... also,
let your beard grow.

Oh, get yourself
a Marshal's badge, too.

Marshal's badge?
What in tarnation for?

Well, you got enough
to think about right now.

We'll go into
the rest of it later.

[ knocking ]

Yes?Mr. Holliday?

Yes?Walter Benson.

Chicago? Remember,
we met downstairs
several mornings ago.

Oh, yes, Mr. Benson.
Come in, come in.

Thank you.

Coffee, Mr. Benson?No, thank you.

Something wrong,
Mr. Benson?

Oh, no! Well, yes.

Guns make me
awfully nervous.

Oh!
[ chuckles ]

Here we go.

There, is that better?

I never in my life
aimed a weapon.

Let alone
shoot anyone.

Well, out here,
Mr. Benson,

if you aim one,
and you want to live,

you better
shoot it-- first.

Oh, yes, sir!Oh, call me Doc, please.

Uh, sit down.
Thank you.

Now, then, sir-- How can
I be of service to you?

You recall you told me
the story about
the stagecoach robbery?

The, uh, 18 gold
bullion bars?
Mm.

Anyone could have
told you that.[ pours drink ]

Oh, but you--
and no offense, sir--

just hinted that you might
know the whereabouts

of those bars.

Uh, Mr. Benson.

You say
you're Walter Benson,

you say
you're from Chicago,

and you say you're
an investment banker--

Oh, identification!
[ laughs ]

Good heavens!
I have plenty of that.

Everybody in Chicago
knows me!

There's my company
letterhead,

my card, sir,
and my gentlemen's club--

the dues are paid,
naturally.

Well, it appears that you
really are Walter Benson,
all right.

[ sighs ]
What I came about...

Those 18 bars.

Worth $100,000?

Well, assuming...
they could be located,

what would be
the market price?

$25,000.
Fifteen.

[ laughing ]

You rememberin', Walter,
the, uh, little matter
of disposing of them?

My firm has handled gold
for a number of clients.

We're in the position
to deal through...

shall we say, channels?

Well, of course,
that'd be entirely
up to you, Walter.

Provided that
the bars can be,
shall we say, "located"?

Splendid!
On behalf of my clients,

when may I inspect
the merchandise?

$20,000, Walter?

Cash. $100 bills.

No bars, no bills.

Oh. No bills, no bars.
[ chuckles ]

[ chuckles ]
Walter, for an Easterner,

you sure are learning
Western ways in a hurry.

Shall we go?Where are we going?

Let's just say, um,
to the livery stable.

Is this the outlaw who--One of them, Walter.

One of them.

Hmm! Like a Georgia tornado
hit this place.

And the gold bars are here?
They didn't find them?

One gold bar.
And they didn't find it.

There, Walter, you may
examine the merchandise.

[ sighs ]

Uh, Doc, with
your permission...

May I use this?
After all, I have
certain clients

who expect me to be, uh--Prudent?

Why you just go ahead
and file all four corners,

if you wish-- and then
you take the filings

to any assay office
of your own choosing.

Here, let me help you.

[ coughing ]

I think that ought
to be enough.

Oh, fine. We'll just
wrap this up.

Can you pick
that up, please?
[ grunts ]

What'll I do
with this gold bar?

Why, that we put back
where we found it.

Well, there
is one thing, Walter.

You see, that's
the only bar here.

And I wouldn't want
to find it missing
from the well.

As you say, everybody
knows you in Chicago.

You'd be so easy to find.

Oh, oh, Doc.
I wouldn't dream of--

Fine, Walter.
Now, put the bar back.

Of course.

Here are
your filings, Walter.

I won't even ask what
assayer you take them to.

Why, thank you!
I'll, uh, find somebody.

I don't know what
assay office he went to.

Not that it matters,
of course.

Is that dust you bought
pure enough gold?

Exact weight: 197.2.

You don't reckon he's
going back to my well?

He's too scared of guns.
And me.

[ laughing ]
Wait!

Well, now, when he comes
back here, he's going
to want another sample

from another bar-- now,
that'll be the one here.

Now, this is the signal.
When you hear this thump.

[ thump ]You know the rest.

I got it.All right.

Now, I want you to talk
as little as possible.

In fact, just mumble.
And uh...

Pull your hat
down halfway over
your face there.

Yeah, that's right.

Bet ya I act as good
as that fellow at
the Birdcage Theater.

I bet you you're better.
Now, here's the real dust.

I'll be right next door.

Oh, Walter! Come in!Oh, thank you.

How was the assay test?197.2.

Pure gold.Well, you wouldn't
expect the government

to fool around with
anything less than
the exact weight, will you?

No.

There is one more thing
I'd like to ask of you.

I wonder if I could
go as far as...

getting another sample
from another bar?

Well, as a matter of fact,
Walter, I did anticipate

that you might
ask me that,

so I have obtained
another one, right here.

Ah, number 54.

I would have known anyway
that this is not the other one.

Oh, how is that, Walter?

Well, I-I took the liberty,
when you weren't looking,

to make a scratch mark
with the sharp point
of the file.

The scratch mark
is not on this one.

Oh, Walter,
you're a clever one.

Also, the corners
haven't been filed.

Yes! Yes, or course.

Care for a drink?
No, thanks.

Well, a glass
of water, perhaps?

No, thanks.
I'm dandy, thank you.

[ thumps ]

Now, this one,
Walter, you can take to
another assayer if you wish.

I'll arrange that
in my own way.

[ lock rattling ]

Here. Hide this!

Who's there? Smee! Who is that?

Frank, Frank, Frank.
Your room is down the hall.

This one's mine.
Now straighten up!

Now, go on along.
Yeah, yeah.

Drunken cowboy.
He's all right.

Here you are, Walter.
I await your pleasure.

Yes, sir!

Weight: 197.2.
All pretty gold.

And at a very
pretty price, too.

$25,000.

20,000.
We shook hands on 20,000!

[ laughs ]
All right, Walter,
I'll keep my word.

But as yet, I haven't
seen a penny of your money.

On delivery of all
18 bars, you understand.

Oh, of course!How soon can we get them?

I want to get back
to Chicago as fast
as possible.

Well, now, Walter, I uh,
I wouldn't want to cause
you any undue delay.

Always glad to help
out an associate.

They're right here.

Nine of them.

And over here--

Nine more.

[ coughs ]
And now the money,
if you please.

Yes, sir. There you are,
in hundreds.

Perhaps you'd like
to count them!Oh, I would indeed.

Pardon me.

Eight, nine, a hundred...

You, uh--
You paid me one extra.

That's for expenses.
To help me transport
the bars?

Oh?
Not knowing anything
about guns,

I'm counting on
the redoubtable Doc Holliday

to escort me safely
to the railroad.

Well, now, Walter, that
wasn't part of our bargain.

Oh, now please. I don't
know anybody out here,

I can't trust anybody...
except you, that is.

All right, Walter.
Now, I'll arrange for a wagon,

you just be ready
to leave at 3:00.
Splendid!

[ sighs ]
$20,000. Whoo-whee!

[ laughs ]

Hello, Creek.Hi.

I sure would hate to be
an investor with him
running the company.

There you are.
$10,000.

Your half. So far.
So far?

There's more?Old Walter Benson
came through again!

[ laughing ]
He asked just what
I thought he'd ask.

What's that?That I escort him
to the train.

[ chortles ]
Seems he's a little bit
nervous about carrying

all the US government
pure, sold gold.

Plus a bulgin'
money belt.

What are you thinkin'?

[ neighs ]

Hold it!
Whoa.

This isn't
a holdup, is it?

Not likely.

Fellow's a marshal.Marshal! What does he want?

We'll know soon enough.Hold on.

Now, you wouldn't
kill a marshal, Doc.

Well, I haven't yet.

You men from Tombstone?

Yes, sir! I'm a businessman,
returning to Chicago.

You want to open
that luggage?

Luggage? Well, I mean...

What else would I have in
the luggage besides clothes?

I have reason to believe
you're carryin' stolen
government bullion.

Now, open your luggage.

Uh, Marshal, could you and I
have a private talk?

Friend is bush.

He might listen
to reason, now.

Maybe you could
uh, persuade him.

Marshal?

Go! Further!
Get back!

[ laughing ]

He couldn't even wait
to ask me aboard.

Oh, I 'spect he's got
more than he cares
to chew on.

You know, I feel
a mite sorry for him.Well, don't.

He thinks he just got away
with $80,000 profit

in stolen government gold.No, he's only got $70,000.

He gave me $10,000
if I didn't look
through his luggage.

[ laughing ]That was good acting, Creek.

Good? Why, I'm going
to be the next star of
the Birdcage Theater.

Jakey "Creek" Johnson.
In person! Eh?

[ coughing, laughing ]

Howdy, Mr. Holliday.Howdy, Sonny.

Now, we'd like to
deposit, uh...

$10,000 for me.
I'm gonna save $5,000
for the faro game.

I'm gonna skin
that tiger alive!

Believe I will, too.
That makes two deposits,

$10,000 each.Oh, yes, sir!

Your money's perfectly
safe, and you'll draw
interest as well.

You know I never
had no money in
the bank before, Doc.

[ chuckles ]
You know, after
we break the faro table,

maybe we'll have
a bank of our own!

Hey, I never had
a bank before, either!
[ laughing ]

What's the matter?
Something wrong, Sonny?

Paper seems good.

"Seems"?

Mr. Holliday, sir--

Would you look at
the front of this bill?

What's wrong with it?
I don't see anything.

No, if you will, sir...

would you take a look
at thisbill?

That's one of ours.

Well, what?

Mr. Holliday, sir.
There's only one
famous American

on the $100 bill.

Thomas Hart Benton.

Now, if you will, sir,

please look again
at your bill.

Whose likeness is
on your bill, sir?

Silas Wright?

And he's only on
the 50-dollar bill.

I'm afraid all
your money's counterfeit.

And you'll have to return it
to the Treasury Department.

Counterfeit?

Don't look at me!
All I know about
is one-dollar bills.

All right.
Here's $5,000 more.

Give 'em yours too, Creek.

[ laughing ]

You know something, Creek?

What?[ laughing raucously ]

What's so funny?

You know he's a better actor
than you, and all them
Bird Cage theater types

put together!

Hey! Have you got
a dollar?
No.

Well, I got one. Come on,
I'll buy you some breakfast.

[ hysterical laughing ]

[ chuckling ]
We-- We have no record
of Walter Benson's reaction

when he discovered
he'd been outsmarted,

but we do know Doc Holliday
laughed it off--

for if there was anything
Doc loved, besides a gunfight,

it was a joke--
even when the joke was on him.

Next week, another story
from Western history.

See you then.