Original subtitles

♪ [ trumpet ]

An old and familiar proverb states

that necessity is the mother of invention.

Never have these words held more meaning

than in the vast desolate areas of the West a century ago.

Tonight, we bring you the story of a man

who carried a case of instruments such as these.

Where does the proverb come in? Well...

This played an important part in helping our man deal with...

Now, you take these here cold beans, for instance.

What kind of vittles is that for a self respecting he man?

Hannibal, I'd give my left arm clean up to here

for teeth that was fit to chew on a good hunk of meat.

Instead of that, I got to choke down this pap.

[ approaching horse ]

[ donkey brays ]

Oh, hush up.

Uh-oh.

Hannibal, looks to me like you and me

better stay out of sight a minute.

Well, what do you suppose that was all about?

Sun's too hot to ride like that without some reason.

Yup. There's the reason.

Hannibal, let's you and me go take a look.

I swear it never seems to fail to happen.

Every time things get to going real nice and easy,

somebody comes along and does something awful.

Always been like that, always will be.

Can't even get away from it out here.

Come on, Hannibal.

Damn dirty dogs.

Pure destruction.

That's what I call just pure destruction.

Probably looking for valuables they didn't even find.

Just a young man.

Looks like a city feller too.

Still alive, Hannibal.

But he ain't gonna last long.

It's a crying shame.

Here you are, young fella.

Might as well die in comfort.

Just one more thing I can do for you.

They sure didn't leave much, did they?

They burned everything else so nobody else could have it.

Look at this funny-looking chair.

[ laughs ]

[ reads aloud ]

Dentist.

Dentist!

Great jumping horn toads, Hannibal, this man fixes teeth.

Hey there, doc.

Now don't you die on me.

Just hang on, you can make it.

Just hang on now. Just don't give up.

Whatever you do, don't give up.

Relax here now, Hannibal, a minute.

We gonna do something for this young fella.

Won't be any good at all.

This is what we want.

Take some of this, doc. It'll do you good.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

We gotta do something, Hannibal.

Maybe we ought to take him back to camp?

That's what we'll do.

We'll take him back to camp,

that way we can keep him out of the sun,

give him plenty of good hot food to keep him going,

get him all rested up.

Now you hang on there, doc.

[ moaning ]

Ah, good morning doc.

Gonna be a fine day.

Who are you?

Don't try to talk, Doc.

You've been out cold for two whole days.

I know you's coming around, though,

the way you been thrashing about for the last couple of hours.

Now, don't try to get up.

You ain't in any condition to go dancing yet.

As a matter of fact, you just lucky

I ain't St. Peter.

Since you asked, though, folks call me Sawbuck.

When I found you, you were left for dead

by a couple of Mexican bandits.

You know my name.

Oh, yes. I saw it wrote on the side of your wagon.

Now, say,

you are a dentist, aren't you?

Yeah.That's fine.

Only thing is, you're pretty near

out of business after what happened.

The wagon. Where's my wagon?

There's nothing you can do about the wagon.

It's all burned out.

Everything is scattered and set afire.

If you had any money, that's gone too.

I was on my way to San Francisco to open a new office.

Now everything's gone.

Well, ain't really as bad as all that.

Yesterday, me and Hannibal went out

and gathered up what was worth saving.

Who's Hannibal?

Oh, that's my burrow.

Oh, and we found your horse, too.

He's over there with Hannibal.

What about the instruments?

I got a whole pile of doodads over there under a canvas.

Some of them look like they'll need

an awful lot of cleaning up.

Main thing right now is for you to just get well.

The rest of it can wait.

Thank you, Sawbuck.

Oh, fiddlesticks.

You don't think I'd leave you out there to die, do you?

I hope to repay you.

Just shut your mouth.

All right, now, let's get you propped up a little bit here.

How's the head?

Now open wide.

I don't have any money, you know.

Who needs money?

♪ Well, Old Dan Tucker was a fine old man ♪

♪ Washed his face in a frying pan ♪

♪ Picked his teeth with a piece of steel ♪

♪ Combed his hair with a wagon wheel ♪

♪ Get out of the way Old Dan Tucker ♪

♪ He's too late to get his supper ♪

[ both ] ♪ Get out of the way Old Dan Tucker ♪

♪ He's too late to get his supper ♪

Hey, you picked that nut pretty good.

I'm going to have to teach you some new verses.

What have we got here, Sawbuck?

That, my friend, is the tastiest morsel

you'll ever taste this side of the pearly gates.

That's bear meat. Fresh bear meat.

Shot him right between the eyes, clean as a whistle.

So that's what your mysterious expedition was all about.

Well, I didn't want to say anything

in case I didn't get one.

Great day of the morning, doc.

What are you doing with my whiskey?

Oh, I'm sorry Sawbuck. I should have asked.

I needed some alcohol to clean these instruments.

Oh, well, in that case, you just go right ahead.

Gotta have 'em clean.

I'll be leaving tomorrow, Sawbuck.

Yeah, I figured you'd have to be taking off pretty quick,

but it don't have to be so soon, does it?

Well, I feel fine now thanks to you,

and I'll have to work even harder to get back what I lost.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Sawbuck, would you like me to have a look at your teeth?

My teeth?

Why'd anybody want to look at them old things for?

Now don't kid me, Sawbuck.

You would give your left arm for some good front teeth.

Would I?

I would.

Sit down right here.

Frankly, I've been putting it off

because I didn't want to get your hopes up.

The trouble is, there isn't too much I can do

without my materials.

Anyway, it doesn't hurt to have a look.

Open wide.

What'd you think?

You can close your mouth.

What'd you think?

Well, with crowns on your upper left cuspid

and your right lateral incisor,

I could anchor a bridge in-between and fill the gaps.

But I have never seen so many cavities

and so many missing teeth.

It'd be a real job.

If they just hadn't smashed all my jars.

What do you need?

Porcelain. Porcelain is best.

Some kind of China maybe. Even ivory would do,

but everything is destroyed.

I'm sorry, Sawbuck.

That's all right, doc.

At least you tried.

I've been wanting to experiment with a metal substance.

Something durable

that'll resist stains and acids,

like gold.

Say that again.

Like gold. Gold would do,

but we don't have any gold either.

Yahoo. Doc, you just made me the happiest man

in the whole blasted world.

Oh, I've been prospecting up here

just 'cause I like the life.

'Cause I like the open air and plenty of room.

Nobody to tell you what to do or when to do it.

I loved to live the simple life all of my life.

Never had any use for riches and fancy doodads,

but now, you just look at this.

I got a use for that now.

You think that's enough?

Carlos, put away the knife.

Pronto.

It is my knife,

and I do what I want with it.

Some day, you are going to miss,

but I no miss.

Lazaro, why don't we go get the gold?

What are we waiting for?

For because I say so.

Use your head.

Do you think they're going to bring the gold up to us?

I doubt it.

Well, let's go down and take it from them.

I think it makes good sense.

What are they doing now?

How should I know?

Go and see.

But I went and saw.

Go again.

Pronto.

All right. I go.

They're still down there,

but I can't tell what they're doing.

Lazaro, why did we cross the border?

To get rich, that is why.

And what happens?

Nothing.

We steal just a few lousy pesos.

We could do much better if we would have stayed home.

But down there, Lazaro, there's a bag full of gold.

I saw it with my own eyes.

We could be rich

and wealthy too.

All we have to do is go down and take it from them.

Please?

Carlos, who is it who shoot the young traveler

with the wagon load of trinkets and a few pesos.Was you, no?

Sí. Sí.

And was he not the first and the only gringowe have killed?

Sí.

Sí.

And is the same gringonot now

alive and down there with the old man who has all the gold?

Sí. Sí.

Now you know why for we wait, eh?

No.

Because the Americanos do not look with favor

on los hombreswho kill in cold blood.

They are funny that way.

Soon, the young gringo will go on his way.

Then we go down and take the gold from the old man

without complications.

Also, the odds will be more safe.

You smart, Lazaro.

Sí.

And how we gonna know when the young man goes?

That is why for we wait and watch.

Oh.

Then I better go down and take a closer look, eh?

Maybe he's getting his things ready to go now.

Muy bien. If it make you happy.

I think I stay here and guard our possessions, eh?

How's it going, doc?

All right, I think.

So far, that is.

Sure is gonna be nice to have teeth again.

How much longer's it gonna be?

Well, if everything goes well,

tomorrow morning, maybe.

This bridge will have to sit overnight.

The important thing

is to get these crowns in before dark.

Open wide.

[ exhales ]

Sawbuck...

Well, great gobs of butter, doc,

you don't expect me to endure this without

some kind of reinforcement, do you?

Open up.

[ exhales ]

I just hope I can stay sober enough to see what I'm doing.

Hold this.

[ pained cries ]

Doc!

Don't ever try to claim that you're a painless doc.

Lazaro?

Lazaro?

Is me, Carlos.

I am back.

Lazaro?

Lazaro?

Where is you, Lazaro?

Lazaro?

Senor, we're not doing nothing.

We innocent.

Lazaro: Bang!

[ laughs ]

Some funny joke.

That will teach you to come busting into our camp, huh?

What goes on down in the canyon?

I'm not going to tell you.

No?

No.

Go down and see for yourself.

All right, smart man.

The young gringo is not leaving.

He is fixing the old man's tooth.

Fixing his what?

His tooth.

I saw it with my own--All right.

Lazaro, why don't we go down and get the gold?

Wait, I got to think.

No sign of leaving at all?

Not even one small luggage.

Lazaro, are you itchy?

I am thinking.

Bueno.

I tell you what.

We not going to wait so long.

Ah-- Silencio.

Go get the food. We stay here for the night.

Okay, Lazaro.

Lazaro, those gringos,

they're going to be in for a big surprise, eh?

I ain't never seen anything so pretty in all my life.

Doc, are you sure these things are gonna handle bear steak?

Well, we'll soon find out.

Those steaks are sure smelling good.

Isn't it lucky I happy to have them along?

Wasn't it? A stroke of pure luck.

Doc, are you sure you have to go?

I mean, we can have lots more steaks where those come from.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you, Sawbuck.

I hate to eat and run, you know, but I can't stay forever.

You understand, don't you?

Yeah, sure.

Well, steaks are done.

Now you come right on down, sit down, I'll do the serving.

This here meal is a celebration.

And you're the guest of honor.

Now, I forget anything?

Everything is just perfect.

Let's dig in.

Lazaro: Put up your hands, pronto.

Now stand up slow.

It's the same bandits that stopped me before.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, we meet again, eh?

You are lucky.

Take their guns.

We are not armed.

He say they are not armed.

Check them anyway!

We got nothing worth anything.

If you want something to eat, take it and leave us alone.

You would not try to kid us, would you?

Where are the bag of gold?

Like I told you, Lazaro, it's right under the bed.

Carlos, why for you want to spoil my fun, huh?

All right, go get it.

Now, you two, get back over there,

away from the table.

Ah, I would not try anything foolish, my friend.

He's right, doc. Let him have the gold.

Who needs it anyway?

You see, Lazaro, it's like I said.

Gold!

This is a bag full?

There was more gold than that.

I saw it with my own eyes.

Carlos: There was more.

You want more gold, do you?

Well you're too late

because the rest of it's all in my teeth.

Sawbuck.

In your teeth, eh?

There are ways of taking out teeth, mi amigo,

if their words are worth the trouble, eh?

Are my teeth all right, doc?

They're good as gold.

Well, Sawbuck, I guess the time has come.

I'll leave these two characters with the nearest sheriff.

I want you to have that, doc.

It ain't as much as it was,

but it'll help open that new office.

Aw, no, Sawbuck. You keep it.

No. I don't want it.

Just having it around causes nothing but trouble.

If they don't want the gold, why don't they give it to us?

All right, let's move out.

Well, Doctor Beers got to San Francisco all right,

and he opened his dental office just as he planned.

There, he prospered and became

one of the growing city's most successful dentists.

But there's proof that Doctor Beers

didn't forget his experience with the gold teeth.

In 1873, Doctor Beers received

an important envelope in the mail.

It was a certificate from Washington

informing Doctor Beers that a patent had been granted

on his new process for making gold crowns for teeth,

a process which,

almost without change, is still being used today.

Next week, another true story of the American West.

♪ [ trumpet ]