Original subtitles

[Snoring]

[Snoring continues]

[Snoring continues]

Till we get some rain, we're gonna parcel this out with a teaspoon.

Any questions?

Line up and get your ration.

If we don't get some rain,

your cattle ain't gonna last a week.

I don't know that yours are any better off.

Well, nobody's any better off.

It's like this, up and down the state.

We've got to do something.

What do you got in mind? All we need is a miracle,

and miracles ain't been happening around here, lately.

You know something, Big John?

Maybe one's just about to happen.

Whoa.

Howdy, gents. Nice day, ain't it?

That is, if it don't rain.

By Jim, he's a rainmaker.

Is that right, mister? Are you a rainmaker?

Oop! Sorry. Wished I was.

The only rainmaker I know is mother nature.

All I am is, uh-- what you might call...

A midwife.

A midwife? That's right.

Only mother nature can make rain.

All I can do is kinda help her along a little.

I know this fella, Big John.

I was in Kansas when he brought in

four whopping inches of rain!

Not me, my friend. Mother nature.

Now then, can one of you gentlemen tell me where I am?

You're in Graham County, Arizona.

Graham County, eh? Look, Big John, we can use him--

Where you heading, Mister? Waltham County.

Now, that'll be the next county

right straight down the line, won't it?

That's about seven or eight miles

straight south.

Straight south? Oh, well, nice talking to you, men.

Now, hold on there, mister.

Bleek. Fenimore bleek.

We ain't gonna let him ride off, just like that?

Why not? Because rain's about the thing we can use most of!

You speak right, friend.

Man says he can't make rain.

That's a fact.

The only one that can make rain

is old mother nature.

Same old girl that let down five and a half inches

up in Nevada country, where I just came from.

[Laughs] Nearly lost my cannon on that flood.

Well, nice talking to you, men.

Now, hold up there!

Let him go.

And lose maybe our only chance for rain?

I stand to lose a lot of cattle if this dry spell don't break.

We all do, Bates.

You heard what he said.

Five inches of rain up in Nevada!

Five and a half, friend.

Think what half of that would do for us.

I'll tell you what I heard.

I heard the man say he can't make rain.

But that's just his way of talking.

That right, Mister? That just your way of talking?

You know something, Mr., uh...

Brewer. Big John Brewer.

I like you, Mr. Brewer.

You got a way of coming straight to the point.

The, uh, fact of the matter is,

I couldn't help you even if I wanted to.

My, uh, services are spoken for over in Waltham County.

A Mr., uh, Fletcher and a Mr. Reed.

Neighbors of yours, I reckon.

Fletcher? Reed?

Oh, you know him. We know him.

Well, that's the way it is. First come, first served.

Maybe mother nature will come through for you on her own.

Been known to happen.

Are we gonna let him slip through our fingers?

The man's a weasel.

Can't say anything straight out.

For my money, he's a pure fake.

Waltham County can have him.

Gid-up.

Look.

All right. Heave it, you mule-eared weasel!

Get moving!

Watch those wheels there,

you no account, lily-livered, lop-eared mules!

Easy. Easy.

Easy now.

Get a hold of that wheel there.

Come on now, pull a little bit.

Easy now. How's it going, Reed?

We don't want to waste all day here.

Yah!

All right. Watch it, you guys.

All right, you ready? Let's go!

[Bleek] Gid-up! Gid-up! Hey!

Hey! Up!

Gid-up! Yah!

Yah! Gid-up there!

Whoa.

Mr. Bleek.

Well, Mr. Brewer.

What's your deal with Waltham County?

Deal? I'm talking about money.

How much are they paying you for your, uh-- your midwifing?

Oh, same as I get anywhere else.

Just my expenses. $1000.

That's a lot of expense.

Not when you consider my time and the nature of my equipment.

Then if old mother nature should prove stubborn,

why, nobody's hurt bad, I go on my way.

No hard feelings.

And if it rains?

Then I get $1000.

An inch.

Measured in the courthouse of Waltham County.

$1000 an inch?

That's for the first four inches.

After that, I get $2000 an inch.

Well, I'd say, Mr. Bleek,

you got yourself a mighty good business.

Now, Mr. Brewer, you're a cattle man.

You know the value of rain during a dry season.

Now, the money's spread thin, nobody's hurt bad,

everybody comes out ahead.

That's the way I like to do business.

Morning, Reed.

Morning, Big John. You all right?

Oh, fine, fine. That was nothing.

Morning, Fletcher.

Oh, good morning, Big John. Let's get that wagon moving.

All right. Get rolling.

[Whistles] All right. Gid-up.

Mr. Brewer.

That man's a fraud, Fletcher. He's bluffing.

Free country, Big John. Think what you like.

He plays the odds.

If it doesn't rain, he loses nothing.

If it does, he rakes in a Big pot.

Have you taken a good look

at your cattle recently, Big John?

I have. Maybe he's bluffing.

We ain't in no position to call.

Neither are we.

What do you say?

I'm saying Graham County is willing to share the deal.

Willing? I'm saying we share bleek.

Graham County shares half the cost

for half of the rain.

We set him smack dab on the county line.

I thought you had him pegged for a fraud.

I do, but I've been outvoted.

The Graham County ranchers wanted me to speak for 'em.

They want in on the deal.

Why should we share him?

Well, it seems only right, we being neighbors and all,

and both in the same fix.

Suppose he don't produce.

Both stuck even.

And what do we get for thinking up the idea

and bringing him in?

Our thanks...

If it rains.

No deal, Big John.

We need all the rain we can get and then some.

Are you speaking for all of Waltham County?

He is.

There comes a time when a man's got to look out for his own.

Fletcher, you know it don't sit very well

for neighbors to behave that way.

Well, I'll tell you what, neighbor,

if our rainmaker cooks up a real spellbinder of a storm,

and the rain spills over the County line,

you folks can have the overflow,

free of charge.

Let's get started.

The meeting of the Graham County rancher's association

is in session, right here and now.

We're open for discussion.

There ain't nothing to discuss. We need rain, not talk.

I say we go over and drag that rain man

back across the County line.

We saw him first.

They got a legal right to him, Bates.

Dragging him back would be kidnapping.

What are we gonna do? Sit around and watch

while our cattle drop like flies?

Well, suppose we hire another rainmaker.

What do you mean? Like asking Navajos

to do a rain dance for us?

I agree with Big John.

Stealing that rainmaker ain't legal,

and I'm against kidnapping.

But even a rainmaker's got to have something to work with.

Now, it ain't that the man can work magic.

What are you getting at, Fuller?

What happens if they wake up one morning

and find that cannon gone?

[All murmuring]

You could hardly call that "kidnapping."

In a way, Cannon's is really public property.

Well, I'm against it.

We suppose to sit on our thumbs

and watching their cattle get fat

while ours thin down to shoe leather?

It just ain't reasonable, Big John.

Why, you said yourself, them fellas won't even talk to us.

But this way, we can get 'em to come to us.

[Big John] Yeah, throwing lead all the way.

Hot blood-- that's what's in the saddle here.

That sun's heating up tank side more than the rocks.

What are you gonna do?

Sneak into a hen house for chicken

and find out you got a crow?

How do we know that fella's gonna produce for us anyway?

Are you ready to stage a full-scale war

for a skinny crow?

We've got to do something, Big John.

We can't just sit by and watch

while our stock dies off by inches.

Only one thing I can think of that makes any kind of sense.

Take your hats off.

Lord, you know without me telling you

that we're not the kind of people

that come bothering you every day.

We need rain, lord, and we need it bad.

If you can't send us any, we won't argue with you.

But since you made all men equal,

it seems we got a right to ask.

Don't send Waltham County rain and leave us high and dry.

Treat us all alike.

That's all we ask. Amen.

[All] Amen.

[Loud rumbling]

By George, isn't that thunder?

Ain't you never heard a cannon before?

[Loud rumbling]

Well, let's wind her up again.

When can we expect some results, Mr. Bleek?

Well, now, that's kinda hard to say.

You see, we gotta get the message through

to old mother nature.

We gotta wake her up.

We gotta let her know we mean business.

We gotta let her know we're expecting.

Remember, old mother nature is a woman.

And sometimes, the ladies, they don't go according to the rules.

Sometimes, they gotta be coaxed

more than the other times.

All right, boys, load her up good.

No halfway measures for this old girl.

That's the secret, Mr. Reed. 26 years of toil and trouble.

What is that stuff?

Phlogiston. What?

I've already told you more than you need to know.

I wouldn't have told you that much

if I thought you had the scientific background

to understand it.

Phlogiston.

The inner essence of all things, living or otherwise.

Nature's glue.

Gets up there and plays in the air

like one of them concert people on the grand piano.

Quicksilver and honey.

Things we mortals wouldn't even begin to understand.

Is that a fact?

Now, uh...

If I thought you were capable of understanding this,

why, I might be able to...

Yeah?

Hey, Reed.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Big John's men.

That cannon must be keeping them awake.

Should I get rid of them?

No. No need to, they won't hurt us.

Let them look, if they want to.

All right, boys! Primed and ready.

Let her rip!

Counted nine head loss yesterday.

There'll be double that today.

We've got to do something, Big John.

What do you got in mind?

You know what I got in mind!

Oh, that don't make sense, Bates.

That cannon's been going off for seven days, now.

Waltham County ain't no better off than we are.

Oh, ain't they?

You had a good look today, up toward round knuckle Ridge?

Them's rain clouds,

a whole suitcase full of them!

And headed straight for Waltham County.

My Cannon!

It's gone!

Wake up! Wake up, you fellas. Wake up.

My canon's gone.

Get Mr. Fletcher! Go get Mr. Reed, somebody.

We need some help.

Mr. Reed, they took the cannon.

Why aren't you fellas doing something?

That canon's been in my family a hundred years.

Why, I loved it like a brother.

Don't worry, Mr. Bleek, we'll get your brother back for you.

All right, let's go.

I'm gonna ask you just once, Big John.

Step aside.

What did you have in mind, Fletcher?

We aim to take that canon-- one way, or another.

I never did understand why you couldn't carry a six-gun like the rest of us.

I'm carrying one now.

I couldn't help but notice.

Now, now, now, wait a minute, boys.

There ain't no use in fighting over this thing.

Sam!

Right there runs the county line.

Waltham that side, Graham this.

Now, it's only neighborly to tell you

that Waltham men ain't welcome on this side without a written invite.

We don't aim to fool much, John.

Did you get the idea somewhere that we're in a playful mood?

Now, boys, I want to tell you something

about that cannon and you've gotta listen--

last chance, Big John.

That cannon means rain to us,

life or death.

If that cannon works, Fletcher, it works for both or neither.

That's just it. The canon doesn't work.

It's just a bunch of noise. It's fake.

What? Let's get on with it, Fletcher.

And this box, it doesn't have anything in it but dirt.

Aw, to heck with all of this talk.

Hold it!

I felt something on my face.

You haven't yet, but you're going to.

Wait a minute.

I felt it, too.

[Thunder rumbles]

[Cheering]

What were you saying, Bleek?

I was saying-- drinks on me!

Well, I guess there's no point in arguing

about that cannon anymore.

Nope.

No hard feelings? Nope.

Won't be any strain paying bleek either,

sharing it between Waltham and Graham.

Seems to me I remember you said he was your rainmaker.