Original subtitles

♪ Hey, what you doing?

♪ Everybody's moving

♪ It's time for Little Lunch

♪ It's time for running, swinging, sliding

♪ It's time to bounce and sink and hide

♪ It's time for shouting, laughing, climbing

♪ It's time to skip this beat and start that rhyme

♪ Before your class goes back

♪ Well, you got to eat your snack

♪ Take off the plastic wrap

♪ And do a little hand clap

♪ Hey, what you doing?

♪ Everybody's moving

♪ Hey, what you doing?

♪ It's time for Little Lunch! ♪ Whoo!

-Hot. -Hot.

Too hot to move.

Too hot to eat.

Too hot to think.

I kept everyone cool by spraying them with water...

..from my mouth.

Everyone loved getting sprayed with water.

I didn't love it.

Yes, you did.

You kept spraying bits of rice cracker on me too.

You like rice crackers. Not that you've chewed first!

Oi!

It was horrible being so hot,

but getting Rory's second-hand spit on my leg was more horrible.

We needed to do something... apart from getting sprayed by Rory.

Which was disgusting.

I tried to think of something that would spark everyone up.

Then I remembered how my dad always sparks up dinner parties

by telling a really, really funny joke,

so I decided to tell everyone my dad's...

..funniest dinner party joke!

And that got everyone's attention.

That got nobody's attention.

Shouldn't you be reading your book?

Who's ready for this really funny joke?

I've seen my dad tell this joke over and over again,

sometimes on the same night to the same people,

so I know it really works.

A golfer was playing golf with another golfer.

One golfer said, 'What's your handicap?'

'Oh, I'm a scratch golfer,' the other replied.

'I write in all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones.'

Was that a joke?

What's wrong with you people?

That's straight out of Dad's joke book,

1,001 Hilarious Golf Jokes For All Occasions.

'For All Occasions'! Like, even now!

Don't know why they needed 1,001 jokes.

They could have left that one out and kept it at 1,000.

It's a really funny joke. No, it's not.

But everyone was too hot to appreciate it.

It wasn't the weather, Atticus. It was!

My dad is the funniest man in the world,

and it's not just him that says it - other people do too.

He might be funny, but we didn't think that joke was.

Which is why I challenged them all to tell a funnier one.

Go on, who's got a funnier joke?

I know - let's have a joke competition. Come on.

The prize will be this brand-new marshmallow bar - unchewed.

The problem with that was it was so hot

that the marshmallow would have been melted liquid marshmallow.

No-one wanted that.

So, I said, 'Fine. The prize will be...

..my dad's credit card.'

I was really looking forward to the melted marshmallow bar.

So you could drink it and spray it all over us?

No!

OK, first rule of the joke competition -

everyone needs to tell a joke.

I didn't wanna tell a joke.

Second rule of the joke competition -

everyone needs to tell a joke.

I don't even know any jokes.

Third rule of the joke competition...

Everyone needs to tell a joke.

I didn't know what to do.

If I got up, Atticus would think I wanted to tell a joke,

and if I sat still, Atticus might point at me to start.

Luckily, Tamara said she'd go first,

and luckily, she took a long time to warm up.

Tamara, you're telling a joke - not running cross-country.

It doesn't matter what in, the point is I'm competing,

and competing means winning, and winners warm up, end of story.

Well, not really end of story, because first I told my joke.

Contestant one, take your position.

OK, what's invisible and smells of carrots?

Bunny flatulence.

The only reason Tamara got a laugh

is for saying the word 'flatulence'.

And 'flatulence'...

..is a rude word, because it means 'fart'.

She's just using bad language to cover a lack of funny material.

That's just too easy.

OK, surely someone can do better than that.

I still couldn't think of any jokes.

I tried to remember one I got from a Christmas cracker,

about a snowman who goes into a house, or the shop...

The second-hand shop? I couldn't remember.

I was so happy when Debra-Jo said she'd go next.

I've done a lot of eisteddfods, doing speeches,

so I can perform jokes really well.

You don't perform jokes - you tell them.

You can't just stand there, Atticus.

You have to give it... a little more.

A little more.

Hey, everybody! Why didn't the sunlight go to university?

Why are you talking like that?

Because it had too many degrees.

Get it? Because it had degrees.

It's sunlight. It has degrees.

Why would sunlight even go to university?

Yeah, why would sunlight go to university?

Good one, Battie.

Why would anyone go to university?

I probably would have won an eisteddfod with that joke.

We were still on the hunt for the winner,

so I asked who wanted to go next.

And Atticus looked at me. Everyone looked at me.

Maybe I could do the joke about the crocodile who drank milk,

but I couldn't remember the funny bit at the end of the joke.

That's the bit that's the most important.

But then Atticus looked away and said...

Battie.

I make up my own jokes. He makes up good ones.

Usually about cowboys and light bulbs.

I've made up about 117 jokes about cowboys and light bulbs.

Hang on.

Yeah, 117.

How many cowboys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they all shot each other and they all died.

Only the boys laughed. It was a boy joke.

That means 'not funny'.

Now it was only me and Rory that hadn't told a joke.

I had big butterflies.

I decided to do a pirate joke I heard on TV once

about a pirate who had a hand.

No, wait... a hook hand?

And he gets an itchy eye, and he scratches it with his, um... hook?

Did I mention he had an eyepatch as well?

I think I needed to mention that. Anyway, Rory went before me.

I take the art of comedy very seriously,

so when it was my turn, I first warmed up the room.

So, where you guys from?

Here.

OK!

Then, when they were all warmed up, I began to tell my joke.

Comedy is all about rhythms.

It's all about timing, and I am a master of...

Big hairy bums!

He really is good with... Timing.

So, there was only me left.

They were all looking at me, waiting for me to say something.

Hook, hand, eyepatch, itchy nose.

No, wait, itchy eye...

OK, that's everyone done. Time for round two.

But they skipped me.

Of course I skipped Melanie. I know how shy she is.

I wasn't gonna make her tell a joke. That would be mean.

Melanie really, really hates talking in front of people,

and I don't want Atticus to get a big head when I say this,

but I thought it was really nice that he left Melanie out.

OK, gather in close, everyone. Prepare for my second joke.

Another hilarious golfing gag. Yeah!

A husband and wife are playing the fifth hole at their golfing club.

I know I didn't want to tell a joke,

but I also didn't want to be left out of the joke competition

and out of the joke circle.

Why do I keep letting myself be left out of stuff?

Why do I have to be so scared all the time?

Like that time we had a rhyming race.

I knew all kinds of words that rhymed with 'hat'.

I knew 'cat', 'bat', 'mat', 'flat', 'sat'.

Come on, one of you must have a rhyming word for 'hat'.

'Rat', 'fat', 'splat', 'chat', 'brat', 'scat', 'sprat',

But I was too afraid to say anything in front of everyone,

so I just stood there until Rory said...

Dog.

Close enough. You win, Rory.

Yes!

Drat.

Then there was the time we had to do an art project

on the world's greatest structures.

I spent three weekends building the Taj Mahal out of matchsticks.

Who wants to show the class their artwork?

But I was too scared to take mine out of my bag to show everyone,

even though it was really, really good.

This is the Eiffel Tower.

I made it out of toilet rolls this morning while I was on the toilet.

Or when I got Student of the Week

and had to go on stage during assembly.

I also got a swimming achievement certificate.

And the husband says, 'No way!

The last time I tried that, I got a triple bogey on that hole.'

Atticus Busby, ladies and gentlemen!

Oh, yeah! Big round of applause for Atticus!

That was the best joke so far.

We may not get it,

but it was definitely the longest and took the most remembering.

So if no-one's got any funnier jokes...

I have a joke. ..I'm proud to present...

I have a joke.

..that the winner is none less than A...

Wait! I have a joke! Everyone, listen!

I'm going to tell it right now!

I'm normally not rude like that, but I had to do this.

Everyone was staring at me. My heart was pounding.

My head was pounding too.

Could you please stop that, Rory? Sorry.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

Who's there? Ididap.

Ididap who?

That's it. That's the joke. 'I did a poo.'

Nobody laughed...

..for about seven seconds.

'Ididap who?' 'I did a poo!'

Oh, right! 'I did a poo!'

Oh, yeah! I get it! Oh!

I didn't get it. I still don't get it.

'Ididap who?' I mean, what does that even mean...

Oh! 'I did a poo!'

I get it! Get it, Battie? That's funny.

OK, my joke was way more classy,

but that was the funniest knock-knock joke I've ever heard.

Sometimes low-rent humour can work on a high-shelf level.

I took a risk, I made up a joke and I won the competition!

I felt very happy about that. Maybe a little too happy.

Mrs Gonsha, knock, knock! Oh! Who's there?

Ididap. Ididap who?

You said, 'I did a poo!'

Mrs Gonsha, you did a big, fat poo!

Melanie had to go to the principal's office

and sit in the corner for half an hour.

That's the price you pay for pushing the boundaries of comedy.

♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh

♪ Hey, what you doing?

♪ Everybody's moving

♪ Hey, what you doing?

♪ Little Lunch! ♪

I'm a pretty good tree-climber

because I got lots of practice on the old climbing tree

at the back of the school.

I hold the record for getting to the top.

20 seconds.

I also hold the record for getting back down.

Two seconds.

If the monkey bars were full

or Mrs Gonsha told me to get off because I was hogging them,

I'd use the climbing tree to swing instead.

That how I developed my biceps, my triceps and my deltoids.

Actually, I don't know what deltoids are,

but I'm pretty sure I got them from climbing.

I love all the trees at school because I love all living things -

trees, flowers, puppies,

tadpoles, puppies,

birds... and puppies.

I think you already said puppies. Well, I really love them.

That's why I'm knitting a little puppy scarf for Knitting Club.

This pattern's for a normal scarf.

But I'm changing it to be for a puppy.

Because it's shorter and quicker? No...

But you said before, 'Guys, can you help me hold these?

This stupid scarf is gonna take ages!'

Rory, we're supposed to be talking about the old climbing tree.

Oh, yeah, I discovered in Grade 2 that it had this hole

that was just the right size

for hiding all the disgusting food my mum packed in my lunch.

There were salami sandwiches from the start of Grade 5,

tuna rolls from Grade 4,

banana yoghurts going back to Grade 3...

Banana yoghurt, tuna rolls. Rory, that's revolting.

I know. Why did you think I had to stick 'em in the tree?

The thing about the old climbing tree that has always bothered me

is why do trees have to have such big, fat roots...

..at the bottom...

..that are a safety hazard...

..to all students?

Whoa!

I spent a lot of Grade 2 in the old climbing tree,

and a lot of Grade 3,

and a lot of Grade 4, and a lot of Grade...

You don't think there might be a quicker way

to say you've always loved the tree?

I've always loved the tree.

Not to do anything in, just to sit there and do nothing.

I'm not doing nothing, Rory.

I've thinking about life's big questions,

like why no-one's ever invented cola milk.

There's chocolate milk, strawberry milk,

but you can't get cola milk anywhere.

Why not? It would be delicious.

Cola milk would be delicious.

See, I'm not doing nothing. What are you doing?!

I just told you - I'm thinking about life's big questions.

I don't mean when you're in the tree.

I mean right now, to my wool!

Battie is a daydreamer, and trees are excellent for daydreaming.

But, last week, when Battie went out to the tree to daydream,

it had been fenced off,

and there was a sign that said 'Danger - this area is off limits.'

Battie wasn't allowed up the tree. None of us were.

What am I supposed to do with this?

Nobody knew what had happened.

I'll tell you what happened. Except Debra-Jo.

As Student Wellbeing Officer,

it's my duty to look after the wellbeing of all students.

We don't have a Student Wellbeing Officer.

And this tree is dangerous.

Students can trip over these big roots and really hurt themselves.

No-one's ever tripped except you.

So I've made an official complaint to Mrs Gonsha

and, hopefully, soon this tree will be chopped down with a chainsaw,

and taken away forever.

No need to thank me. The smiles on your faces is all the reward I need.

We were all pretty shocked, but Battie was the most shocked.

I felt really bad for him.

If Debra-Jo was gonna chop down, say, my monkey bars,

I wouldn't let her, I'd fight back.

So I decided to help Battie fight back.

The old climbing tree must never be chopped down!

Who wants to help save this beautiful old tree?

The old climbing tree is stupid and dangerous.

Who wants it to be chainsawed right through the middle?

I joined Tamara's group.

Trees are shelter for animals, so it must be protected.

I went on Debra-Jo's side.

Chainsawing a tree just sounds like more fun than saving a tree.

Sorry, Battie. That's OK.

I couldn't decide which side to join so I sat on the fence -

the one between the vegie garden and the oval.

It's a really good fence. You can see everything from there.

First, I saw Debra-Jo walking away with Rory.

Let's walk and talk.

We need to stay focused and not let anything get in our... way.

Then I saw Tamara sit down with Melanie and Battie

to try and think of ways of saving the tree.

Actually, I heard them.

♪ Trees are nature, trees are life

♪ Oh, please save the tree

♪ Trees are nature, trees are life. ♪

It was a really good song and it was super catchy.

Wasn't it, Battie? What was?

We thought we could practise it and sing it at assembly.

♪ Trees are nature, trees are life

♪ Trees are nature... ♪

But then we remembered we'd be at the Soccer Gala Day this week,

and we wouldn't be there for assembly.

So then I suggested that we could...

..build an indestructible force field around the tree,

like an invisible dome, to save the tree!

I would come up with a better idea if I was in my thinking tree.

That's why Tamara and I didn't ask you for any more suggestions.

We just came up with our own ideas on how to save the tree.

Sorry, Battie. That's OK.

OK, I'm gonna run around the schoolyard at high speed

and get kids to sign a petition to save the tree.

And I'm gonna write a protest letter and give it to the principal.

Let's go! Let's do it!

And I'm going to...

..climb up into my tree and think about life.

I needed somewhere to talk very privately

so I took Rory to my...

..Student WellBeing Monitor's office.

Why are we in the bin area?

And I told him to have a seat.

Slot yourself in.

Then Debra-Jo told me the truth about the tree.

She said the real reason she wanted it removed was...

I've always wanted to win the Green Ambassador Award,

and if that tree was gone,

that's what would make an excellent place

for an eco-recycling bin mega-station.

Not just one bin, five! Maybe even six!

See how we go.

Hang on. She wanted to kill a tree to win a Green Ambassador Award?

That doesn't even make sense! I know.

But I had to go along with it. I had no choice.

I worked for her now.

Rory, your first job is to spy on the enemy and report back to me.

From now on, you are my eyes.

If I'm gonna be your eyes, should I take your glasses?

Just get out of here. OK. See ya!

Sometimes, a tree must be sacrificed

for a garden to be filled with sunlight.

Were you talking to me? No.

I was in the classroom writing a protest letter to the principal.

But I couldn't think of anything to write.

Then I realised the problem -

I was using my mango-scented glitter pen.

Mango's never good for letter-writing.

So I switched to fruity blueberry and the words just started flowing.

How do you know how to knit?

I don't.

'Dear Principal, as young guardians of the environment,

we will not allow the destruction of the natural habitat.'

Hi, Rory.

Hi.

I wasn't having much luck with my petition.

Getting signatures was harder than I thought.

All of them five years old, all of them girls,

all of them named Chloe.

I needed more signatures,

and I needed older kids who could sign their name

without me having to do it for them.

Hi, Rory. Hi, Tamara.

I was sitting in the tree

wondering how pineapples can be so spiky on the outside

but so delicious on the inside.

Hi, Rory. Hi, Battie.

I saw Battie sitting in the tree.

Hm. The tree is off limits.

This could be interesting.

I want you to go tell Mrs Gonsha that Battie is up there

and get him into trouble.

You want me to do a double job?

You knew what you signed up for, Mister. Just make it happen.

When opportunity comes knocking,

just make sure you're not sitting in the bubble bath.

Who's in the bubble bath? Will you go?!

There was not much time left before the bell went

and things were getting pretty tense.

Tamara was running back with 17 signatures...

..Melanie had finished her letter in fruity blueberry...

Mrs Gonsha!

..Rory was telling Mrs Gonsha something...

..and Battie was up in the tree.

WAS up in the tree.

Battie got down the tree very fast.

About a second and a half.

He broke my school record.

Battie, you should not have been up in that tree.

You could have really injured yourself.

This just proves that Debra-Jo was right -

the tree is dangerous, needs to be removed from the schoolyard.

And you need to say a big thankyou to Rory

because he came over and told me you were in the tree.

Thank you, Rory. Oh, don't thank me. Thank Debra-Jo.

She's the one who came up with the whole plan in the bin area.

What? No! Yeah!

She told me to dob on you so that you would get in trouble

so the tree would be removed.

I don't think that...

Yeah, so that she could set up her eco mega-station,

so she can win the Green Ambassador

and something else about recycling bins.

I forget. And I think she wanted... six?

Debra-Jo got into big trouble for going into the bin area...

..and had to do three lunchtimes of yard duty.

Rory got detention for dobbing,

and had to clean glue brushes in the art room.

Tamara and Melanie won the Green Ambassador Award

for putting environmental issues at the heart of the school.

♪ Trees are nature, trees are life

♪ Trees are nature, trees are life. ♪

The old climbing tree was finally chopped down and taken away.

I was pretty sad to see it go,

but the school planted a brand-new baby tree in the exact same spot.

And that's where I go now

to sit and think about the important questions of life.

Things like, what is the point of mucus?

I mean, what does it do in our nose and how did it even get there?

I know it's not a big thought,

but I'm only having little thoughts for now,

until my little tree grows bigger.

Hi, Debra-Jo. Hi, Battie. Whoa!

.