Original subtitles

- Go, go!

Stand your ground, Peter.

That's right.

Beat 'em to the top, Tommy.

Go, go, you got it, you got it.

Over there.

Don't worry, you'll get it.

You'll get that.

Yeah, that's right.

Come on, Johnny.

Come on, bring it back.

Bring it on down.

Whoa.

Stay on it, honey.

Tommy, drive in.

Good, Tommy.

Stay on him.

Thanks, Mrs. Broderick.

- Mom, Dad's here.

Take this.

What'd I miss?

- 4 to 3, last five seconds,

winning goal scored by Thomas Broderick.

Yes.

- What?

- $3.6 million in damages.

Losing butt kicked by Thomas Broderick's old man.

- 3.6, we, we get a quarter of that?

My God, Dan, oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- We made it, Betts.

We finally made it

And we had, finally.

For years, we'd worked ourselves to the bone.

Dan, first as a medical student, then as a law student,

and finally, as an attorney.

And me, well, besides raising our four children,

I'd done everything from babysitting to selling housewares,

to teaching elementary school during those lean years.

And finally, when the '80s arrived, so did we.

Our lifestyle became downright opulent.

We joined two country clubs, bought a ski condo in Colorado,

and a boat in La Jolla.

To put a mildly, we were euphoric.

We were celebrating, literally celebrating.

Let me fix your tie, Colonel Butler.

- You think I should have bought that cane we saw today?

- Oh, honey, if you were any more decked out,

they'd build a theme park around you.

Now can we go before my dress goes out of style?

- Gentlemen, start your cameras.

We're coming.

Here we go.

Okay.

- You look beautiful, Mom. - Thank you, darling.

- You, too, Dad. - Thank you, thank you.

Okay, you guys smile.

One, two, three.

Great.

- No more pictures, I'm sorry.

That's absolutely the last one.

- We gotta go. - Mrs. Broderick has to leave.

- Good night. - Good night, Mom.

- Good night, Dad. - Lovely to see you.

Lovely to see you. - Good night, Daddy.

- Good night, charming.

- Oh, look, there's Kevin and Susan.

- Yes. - Oh.

- Hi. - Hi.

You look, well and well.

GQ, Miss Vogue.

- Now that is what I call a stunner of a gown.

- Well, you know when you travel with a guy in a cape,

you gotta look stunning.

- Damn right, and you do, Betts.

You do. - Thank you.

- I think we should get one of those.

Let's go.

See you in a bit.

- Dan, I've been hearing about your impressive victory.

- Ah, well, I owe it entirely to your husband.

- Oh, bull.

All I did was recommend you for the job.

- Exactly.

For which everybody knows

you put your reputation on the line.

It made me work just a little harder.

- Well, Dan, you deserved it.

You're a hell of a litigator.

- Thanks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Betty and I would like very much

for both of you

to, uh, join us

in Paris,

on me.

What?

Dan, no, we couldn't.

- Too late.

Prepaid, no money back.

We leave Thursday.

- Thursday.

Dan, that's my manicure day, you know that.

- Oh, I think it sounds like a lot of fun.

Thank you both very much.

- Thank you.

Come on, Betts, this one's ours.

What?

You don't want to go to Paris?

- Would have been nice if you told me.

- What?

- You make these grand gestures.

You act royalty or something.

It's irritating as hell.

- Come on, Betts, that's the reason you married me.

Okay, let me make it really simple for you, okay?

Yeah, furnish the documents that I requested

before I left for Paris,

or I extend the suit against Dr. Crosston

and include the hospital.

It's your choice.

What?

Well, look, I'll tell you something.

No, I never kid after five o'clock.

Bye bye.

Alice.

Alice.

Should never have left.

Should never have left.

Alice.

Listen, I need this stuff finished by lunch tomorrow.

If you have any questions, I'll be in at 7:30.

- Hey, I was just comin' to talk to you.

- Can we do it on the run, I'm late.

- I haven't seen you since the Blackstone Ball

and I wanted to give you an update.

I moved out last night.

Susan and I are officially split.

- Geez, Kevin, I'm sorry.

I thought you guys might be able to pull it back together.

Too far gone, Danny boy.

You want to grab a beer?

Oh, I would, you know I would.

But I got Grant's Cub Scout group in the backyard tonight.

- Oh, you gonna teach them how to light a fire

by rubbing a doctor's legs together.

- Now that's in very poor taste.

I like that. - Yeah.

Come on.

- Okay, guys, ten-hut.

Hi-ya, hi-ya.

Oh, very impressive, you make me proud.

Okay, where were we?

Uh, all right, this is a stake.

It's not the kind of stake you put ketchup on.

It's the kind of stick that holds up your tent.

Take your mallet, take your stake-

- Dan, Ron Phillips is on the phone.

- Oh, geez.

Okay, time out, guys.

I'll be right back.

Can you cover for me for a second?

He's plannin' to testify on Monday.

He's probably got the jitters.

Well, yeah, how long you gonna be?

- Well, it's already 11 back there.

How long can he talk?

- Oh, okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, where were you before, uh,

Captain Broderick so rapidly departed?

Ron, hey.

No, no, no, no, look, no, it's no problem at all.

Ask away, I'm all ears.

Yeah.

- The third man went to stay at the haunted house

and he was terrified that the coffin was gonna come

and get him, too, because it got the other two guys.

He said, "I will be courageous," and he went to bed.

But as soon as he was asleep, he was awakened

by the thump, thump, thump, on the third floor.

The thump, thump, thump, on the second floor.

Thump, thump, thump, on first floor.

Jeffrey, your mother's here.

- Bye. - Thanks, Betty.

- Hi, Mom. - Hi, boys.

- Hi.

- Bye, Eva. - Bye bye.

- Is Dad still on the phone?

- I'm sorry, honey.

He had a client.

He always has a client.

Well, I'll make sure he comes up

and tucks ya in before you go to bed.

Okay?

- Are you makin' this up, Ron?

That makes my sides hurt.

Dad.

- Thanks.

Good night.

- Hi, there.

So how was Seattle?

- Oh, how is ever?

Rainy, damp.

The contractors ever show?

Not until I threatened them.

- With what?

My wrath and your reputation.

- There's a combo.

So?

- So the foundation crack's worse than we thought.

- Worse than you thought.

I always said it was bad.

- You want to hear this? - Sure, sure.

- They can't work around us.

We have to move out when they fix it.

- Oh, come on. - Oh, calm down.

I've already taken care of it.

I spent about a thousand hours

with a thousand realtors this week.

Therefore, we actually have some pretty decent rentals

for you to see, starting tomorrow.

- Hmm, okay.

- Little present.

Can't go to a St. Patrick's Day party without one

- You're one of a kind, Betts, you know that?

I know that.

- Hi. - Hi.

- All right, listen up, everybody, listen up.

I actually memorized it this year.

You ready for this?

Have you ever been to Ireland

where the rolling hills are green?

Oh, sure and it's the fairest land

that ever yet was seen.

And though those hills of Ireland maybe very far away,

they're close to every Irish heart, no matter what the day.

Now listen to this.

I got an Irish limerick.

- Who's that?

- That is our new receptionist.

- Wow, she is really, uh.

Wow.

- So, uh,

Mr. Workaholic actually appreciates women after all?

- Well, not just any woman, but, uh, that woman, yeah.

Yeah.

I have lots of friends

who are real pretty.

One's a former Miss America.

I mean, she gets out in the shower beautiful.

But I've never heard Dan say, "Wow, she's pretty,"

about anybody.

And then Kevin walked in with his new trophy.

Come on, Betts,

the lift line's not getting any shorter.

But I wasn't the one who couldn't find his gloves.

- Well, got 'em now, so let's get goin'.

- Well, you've got it now 'cause I found it for you,

so get off my back.

- Hey, folks, I hate those long lift lines.

Can we hustle it up?

- Okay, Larry, I'll be right there.

- The Broderick man has spoken, let the seas part.

- Don't start that Broderick man crap again, Betts, okay?

- Oh, okay, you're the boss, I'm just the hired hand.

- Well it pays well enough.

- Not as well as being your brother.

- What does that mean?

- Did you think I wouldn't notice

you keep lending him money?

- What are you talking about you?

We make investments together.

He makes more money than I do.

- Oh, are you proud of that?

- Oh.

Come on.

With all the money you lend him

every time he asks,

your own family could be living like aristocrats.

Well, our family does live like aristocrats

because I bust my butt 100 hours a week.

- Oh, oh, it's all you.

That's right, I'm just along for the ride.

Now, why am I even here?

Why don't I leave?

Why don't we just get a divorce?

- You up?

You can't even go on a vacation, can you?

Without bringing it all down

with your endless, petty, nonsense.

- Petty?

Petty, it's our money that you're investing with him.

- Oh, yeah, our money that I made.

- That you made while I busted my butt

to raise our four kids.

- You ready yet? - Do I look ready?

- Come on.

- Come on.

Hey. - Hi.

Get up there, move.

- All set? - Where's?

- Oh, uh, she's not gonna be joining us.

She'll probably pout for a couple of hours

and then ski the pants off the rest of us all day long.

Oh, no, Dad's gonna.

Hey.

- See you between six and eight?

- Okay, yeah, don't go growing the house, all right?

- Yeah. - Bye, Daddy.

- Bye bye.

- Go, go, go, go, okay.

- Uh, she's the boss.

- Hi, uh, boxes with the blue tape on the bottom,

red tape go on top.

You want some coffee?

- I just wanted to thank you

for pitching in the way you have the last couple of weeks.

When Alice told me how long she was gonna be out,

I figured I was in big trouble,

but

you saved us.

- Gave me a chance to do something besides answer phones.

- Which brings me to my next point.

I sound like a lawyer.

It's become pretty obvious to me lately

that I'm gonna need a full-time assistant,

so if you're interested in joining the team,

the job's yours.

- You got yourself a deal.

- This is amazing.

It's like we always lived here.

- Well, the upstairs and the kids' rooms

still look like a cyclone went through them,

but wait till you taste my veal roast.

Oh, when I was in college, I looked so good in these,

I could have gotten arrested.

Nowadays, I still get arrested, but for the wrong reasons.

They will let anyone shop in here.

- Susan,

hi,

how are ya?

- Um, not great.

Kevin actually filed for a divorce.

- Oh, Susan.

Oh my God, I'm sorry, I thought.

I thought maybe he was just going through a phase.

- Are you all right?

- Uh, truthfully, I've never been better in some ways.

But in others, I'm a complete basket case.

But, um, shopping helps.

Anyway, I gotta go.

So, um, call me.

- Yes.

Geez, what is with Kevin?

What is with all of them?

I mean, Dan's even gone out

and hired some new airhead assistant.

- Well, they all hire airheads at some point.

- Gosh, Marge, what's a nice girl to do?

I'm off now, Lydia.

If you can get the kids bathed

and dressed and ready for dinner by seven.

Bye.

- May I help you?

- Yeah, I'm here for Dan.

- Are you a client?

- I'm his wife.

- Oh, forgive me, I, I just started.

Anyway, they're out. - They?

Last time I looked, I just had one husband.

- No, he and Linda, they went to lunch.

It's his birthday today.

- Really?

- Oh, right.

Of course, sorry. - I'll wait in here.

How was lunch?

- Oh,

you know.

Why?

- Oh, 'cause I made a special birthday dinner,

roast beef, just like you requested.

Oh, that's terrific, thanks.

- To make things extra special,

I traipsed downtown with a bottle of champagne

so we could watch the sun go down together,

but you weren't there.

- Why didn't you call or something?

You know, I'd of moved some things around.

- You bastard.

Who goes to lunch for seven hours

and with a 19-year-old whore to boot?

- Are you nuts?

I've been in a depositions since 1:30 and Linda was,

I don't even know where Linda was.

- You're gonna stand here and lie to my face.

What am I, some client?

Some judge?

Some gullible half-ass jury?

You think you could convince me that black is white.

Admit it, Dan, you are sleeping with her.

- Could we take this inside?

- Why, why, am I shouting?

Am I embarrassing you?

Bull, I am right is what I am.

- Oh, come on, Betts.

You want to talk out here?

Fine.

I swear to you, I'm not having an affair with Linda.

Or anybody else.

- Liar, liar, pants on fire.

- What are you doin'?

What, what are you?

Who cares?

- I don't know, Dan.

I mean, burning your clothes.

That's Betty.

- A little extreme though.

- Well, I can afford new clothes.

- I don't think that's what I meant.

- Well, then, what did you mean?

Look, Betty got out of hand, I get out of hand.

It's par for the course, you should pardon the expression.

- Dan, this is a woman who's been telling you

she wants a divorce since your honeymoon.

Doesn't that worry you?

- Right now, I'm more worried about sinking this putt.

Do you mind if we drop the subject?

Why would somebody retain us as counsel

and then go off and do whatever the hell he wants to?

He's an even bigger obstacle in this case

than the hospital board.

Yeah, good point.

Uh, yeah, I guess that's it.

Oh, uh, Linda, is there any news on the Corvette?

Well, they've had seven weeks to find one.

What, is red such an unusual color?

You know, what-

- Dan, I need you- - No, don't bother.

Call the Driggs- - I can't remember

the punchline. - And tell them to stuff it.

Enough is enough.

Come on.

- Listen, I'm under orders to resume my vacation.

Yeah.

Well, thanks for everything, you're doin' a great job.

I can, yeah, I can actually relax of a fashion.

I will.

Okay, you take care now.

I feel that you have a frivolous case here

and I just don't want to be involved with it.

Well, you're certainly entitled to your feelings, sir.

- Want some good news?

- Yeah, sure, what do you got?

- How much do you still want that red Corvette

you told me to tell them to stuff?

- What do you mean?

- Well, I did my own little research project

and lo and behold, the exact car you specified is in fact,

sitting at a dealership, waiting for you to purchase it.

Provided you're still interested.

- Provided I'm still interested.

Very funny.

When can I pick it up?

- They close at six, you better leave now.

Now, it's only 1:15.

Where is this place?

Malibu.

- Oh.

This is fantastic, thanks. - Anytime.

- Hey, you did all the work on this, uh,

want to go for a ride in my new car?

Only if you put the top down.

- So you finally found one?

- Well, actually I didn't, uh,

I mean, I didn't think I would, but there it is.

- Oh, well.

Maybe this'll help.

- Help?

- Help you.

Feel better.

I know you're not happy, Dan.

I don't know why, exactly.

Maybe it's me, maybe not, I don't know.

I hope this helps.

- Alice, you want to hit the lights on your way out?

- Have you got a minute for me?

- Uh, sure, what's up?

- I have been very loyal and hardworking since I came here,

is that right?

- Alice, I don't think this is the best time

to talk about a raise.

- I don't want to raise, I want a little respect.

- Excuse me.

- Mr. Broderick, that woman has been here six months

and already makes more money than I do, than any of us do.

She has an office the size of,

well, you know what she has.

I don't think you can treat people this way.

- Hold on a second.

First of all, Linda's entirely different things

from what you do. - I know.

She can't type.

- Well, she's a legal assistant, not a secretary.

She doesn't have to type.

And as far as the office goes,

she needs the privacy 'cause she spends a good deal of time

on the phone to clients on my behalf,

so that I can spend time finding new clients,

so that we can all prosper.

Does that make sense?

- Of course.

Good luck to both of you.

- Are you quitting?

- You really ought to think about

how you treat people, Mr. Broderick, all people that is,

not just the ones you think are special.

Try the gear shift.

Yeah, yeah.

- This is great, Mom.

How did you ever know to find one of these?

Katie, your mom's not as old as you think.

- I guess not. - Merry Christmas, darling.

- Your father's as old as you think.

Ah,

is it to them, no.

Oh yeah, it's Mom's.

Oh, Dan.

Mm, hot stuff, Dad.

- I'll say.

- Thank you.

- Well.

I know it's not the exact one you said you liked,

but, I don't know,

I thought this would be more of a surprise

and, uh, you know, I actually kind of like this one better.

- You liked it better?

- Well, I mean-

- You mean you liked it better.

And that's what counts.

I mean, that's what it's all about.

You make it and you spend it on what you want.

- Oh, geez, Betts.

It's not like it costs any less.

- Oh, exactly, so why not give me what I want?

You certainly got what you wanted,

even though you had to spend an extra seven grand

to get it when you wanted it.

- Could you guys just cool it?

- It's Christmas, your mom wants to behave

like a spoiled brat, let's let her.

- What kind of person gets his wife a Christmas present

she doesn't even want?

- That's a beautiful ring.

- But it's not what I asked for,

so that makes it a piece of crap.

Here you go, ma'am.

- Thank you.

Hi.

- Well, I haven't been here

in I don't know how long. - Yeah.

- We should do this more often, Dan.

- Betts.

- What?

- I thought this would be a good place for us to have this.

- This?

- This meeting.

- I didn't know this was a meeting,

I thought this was lunch.

- I have some things I think we should discuss.

- We sleep in the same bed, we use the same bathroom.

I had to get all dressed up

and come down here just to discuss something.

Please, Dan, how romantic.

Um, the house chardonnay.

- I didn't want to have this talk at home.

This way we can't throw things at each other.

- And why, pray tell, would we do that?

- Betts,

it's no secret

that things haven't been going so well for us of late.

In some ways maybe they never have.

It's just gotten to the point where it's not healthy for us,

or for the kids, if we're living in the same house.

So,

so I'm,

I'm gonna move out for awhile.

- For a while.

Just until,

I don't really know for how long.

- Until you feel better about the marriage?

Until you've gotten over this turning 40 crap?

Or until you've made it with your secretary so many times

you've gotten it out of your system?

- That's great, that's great.

- It's impossible to have a normal conversation with you.

- You call normal, busting up a 16-year marriage

over, over lunch?

Dan, how could you pull this?

I gave you my life.

I, I gave you your life.

You would still be cleaning up vomit

on the emergency room floor if it weren't for me,

if, if I hadn't raised our children, held down five jobs,

and provided a home for you.

You think you could've done this by yourself?

- I really don't know.

Maybe not.

It's not working out, Betts, you know that.

You criticize whatever I do or say.

You're clearly not happy.

Why would you want me to stay?

Oh, because you owe me.

- I'm moving back to the Coral Reef house.

They can work around me.

In the meantime, you can- - In the meantime,

you can finish this meeting by yourself

since you are the one

and only person on this earth you care about.

- It's okay, I got it.

Hey.

What are you doin' here?

- Mom dropped me off about an hour ago.

- An hour ago?

Was I supposed to meet you here or something?

- Nope.

- Why did she?

I've been up in San Francisco at a trial all day,

I, I almost didn't come back tonight.

How did she know I'd be here?

Well, come on, let's go inside.

You okay, you're not cold?

- Un-uh. - All right.

- See, I have this little two-step plan.

First, I've been droppin' the kids off at his house,

one-by-one, to live with him.

- You're kidding?

- No, let Mr. Businessman see what it means

to actually raise a family, not just have his wife do it.

And secondly, a new house with an ocean view.

Voila.

- Oh, great.

- Dan may be momentarily attracted to this little girl,

but ultimately what turns him on is status.

You know, best address, best clothes, best parties.

I'm the only that can make that happen for him.

Make him special, respectable.

He'll come back.

- Okay, I'll fax everything to you

first thing Monday morning.

And meanwhile, if you have any questions at all,

just get in touch with Linda.

She's researched everything pretty thoroughly.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

- Bye bye. - Bye.

Okay, 5:30.

Just enough time to grab a bite to eat

and get back to the office.

- Didn't you start at seven this morning?

- So sue me, I came in late.

Can I buy you some dinner before you go home?

- Sure.

Well, for a stuffy malpractice attorney, you're doing okay.

- Yeah.

What'd you expect?

- I expected you to go back to work like you planned.

Me, too.

- Well, I'm glad you didn't.

And thanks for a wonderful dinner, Dan, really.

- Thank you for all your advice.

I didn't give you any.

I just listened.

- Really?

Around 40 is when you reap the benefits

of your 20s and 30s.

It's supposed to be the best time,

when you're young enough to still have fun

and enjoy the money.

It's what I've been living for my whole life.

- And I'm not ruining your project.

- You are so mean. - No, I'm not-

- Yes, you are.

- Tommy, cut it out, it's his, all right?

Mom.

What are you doin' here?

- I thought I'd come see how my children were.

Tommy, leave him alone.

Grant, what is this?

Do I get a hug and a kiss, please?

- Hi, Mom, I missed you. - I missed you.

Dad doesn't have potato chips or anything.

- He doesn't?

Well, I think I have a couple of bags in the car.

Tommy, why don't you go get 'em?

Okay.

- Let's see what else he doesn't have.

Oh, wow, bachelor father, unbelievable.

- I was supposed to pick up some things

at the store yesterday.

I got a little sidetracked.

- Dan'll never measure up, he's a lawyer, not a parent.

Oh, what is this mess?

- Dad brought it home from the office.

His friend Linda made it for us.

- Is that so?

- I'm home.

Hey, big guy.

- Hi, Dad.

Um, dinner'll be ready in about five minutes, okay?

- Great, I'm gonna go up and change, I'll be right down.

- Sure, go ahead.

- Dad. - Yeah?

- Where's Yugoslavia?

- In the Atlas.

- Uh, Dad. - Hey, sweetie.

How'd that math test go?

- Elisabeth Broderick?

- Thank you.

Oh.

Come on, Dan, I know you're in there.

You can't lay this divorce on me and then ignore me.

Come on out and face me like a man, or.

Damn you, Dan Broderick.

He's lucky I didn't use that umbrella to impale him.

- Mrs. Broderick- - Betty.

Everyone calls me Betty.

Except him, he calls me Betts.

That's cute, isn't it?

- If we're going to try and get you an equitable settlement,

I'd suggest you consider more appropriate behavior

in the future.

- Meaning?

- Meaning no more umbrellas through the window.

There is now a restraining order preventing you

from going within 100 yards of the house.

A restraining order is a very serious thing.

- Yeah, I know, but so are four kids and 16 years together.

Don't preach to me.

- I'm just saying that you need to do all you can

to try to help balance the situation.

- All I want to know is if we can nail this guy in court.

- Mrs. Broderick- - Betty.

You don't catch on real quickly do you?

- We'll do the best we can.

- So that's it? - I beg your pardon?

- Well you just don't sound real excited.

Dan Broderick is a shark.

He is the best.

You're not excited, we're dead.

- I know his reputation very well.

- So you're just running scared already.

- You know what,

I have a feeling I am not the best choice

of an attorney for you.

- You know what, I think you're right.

Thank you for your time.

- Mrs., Betty.

You're not the first woman whose husband ever left her

and you won't be the last.

I'd advise you to try and keep your cool.

- Too late.

- Look, Betts is gonna be here any minute to meet with us,

so are you should sure this guy is serious?

- Why, absolutely.

He's already qualified for the loan.

Great.

- Hi, Betty. - Hi, Lois.

- Good news, I found a buyer for the house.

Oh, what's the offer?

- Three and a quarter.

We think it's extremely reasonable.

- We?

- Dan and I.

- How cozy.

- I beg your pardon?

- Sorry, would you excuse us for a minute?

- Get your hands off me.

I think the offer stinks.

I want a million.

That's it, got it?

- Betts.

I bought you a house.

I'm buying myself a house.

Now I can't afford to carry three mortgages.

We gotta get rid of this place.

Now you're the one who came up

with the 340 figure in the first place.

What's the matter with you?

This is just a little bit below that.

- Don't whine, it does not become you.

Of course, now that there's this regression into puberty.

- The issue at hand- - The issue at hand

is you've become such a bad joke.

I mean, look at you.

You are the cover of midlife crisis magazine.

You've got your red Corvette.

You've got your teenage secretary.

You're livin' alone, all of it.

- Three and a quarter is a good price, we're takin' it.

- A million, Danny boy, period, end of conversation.

And the last thing I ever expected

was to fall in love with him.

Why?

- Well.

Dan's not the kind of guy you think of as being romantic,

but when I'm with him,

he just makes life seem like some great old movie

where everything's gonna work out okay.

- Hey, I found this great house in Marston Hills.

Linda loves it. - You oughta buy it.

- I did.

- Wait, have you sold Coral Reef yet?

Oh, Betty's saying

she wants a million bucks for it.

You believe that?

I mean, I mean, she knows it's not worth a third of it,

but I don't know, I guess it's her way of hanging onto me

while I'm payin' through the nose.

- You'll just have to live with it.

- No, I won't.

Remember a little procedure called a liser?

I can get a court to grant me permission to sell

if I can show she's withholding her consent-

- Unreasonably. - Unreasonably.

So Tuesday at nine, I go before Judge Donnelly.

- She'll contest it.

Yep, she can do whatever she wants.

She won't know what hit her.

I'll tell you why because it's a holiday.

You know, families are supposed to be together.

- Oh, get off it, Dad.

We're not together anyway

what's the difference if I'm here or not?

- There's a big difference.

I want you to hear for dinner.

You can see this guy at the time.

- Well, you've got your date, why can't I have mine?

- Because I want you here with us, not out running around.

- Well, that's just too bad,

'cause I'm going out with him no matter what you say.

- Great, great, then don't come home.

- Fine, Dad, I won't.

I'm sure Mom will be glad to see me.

- Well, Katie, what are you doing here?

- Can I stay here tonight?

- Oh, well, yes, of course.

Oh, Happy Thanksgiving, honey.

Are you hungry?

I got some leftover turkey.

- No, we ate.

- Oh, um, Kate, I'd like you to meet my friend, Jerry.

Jerry, this is my daughter, Kate.

- I've heard a lot about you.

- I wish I could say the same.

- The man's a lawyer, I'm a prospective client.

What's the problem?

Well, I bet he'd return my call

if my name were Dan Broderick.

Thanks, no thanks.

- Come on, guys, I don't want you to be late for breakfast.

- I'll get it. - No, no, no, it's all right.

Let's let it go, we gotta get outta here.

Hi, nobody's around to answer the phone right now,

but if you leave a message-

- Dad, I forgot the ball.

You guys go get in the car, I'll get it.

- Anybody there?

Pick up, I know you're there.

Well, I hope you're happy, you rotten son of a bitch.

The entire San Diego legal community is shutting me out.

Nobody wants to go up against Dan Broderick.

Well, I'll get a lawyer from LA,

I have names up there, too, pal.

Why don't you pick up?

Why don't you ever call me back, Dan?

Do you think you can just ignore me?

You can't, do you hear me?

I will not be ignored.

No doubt about it,

you make the best poached salmon in Southern California.

- Well, the key is not to overdo it.

You are an artist, Betty.

- No, not really.

You know when I was an Aspen,

I got the recipe from this old Argentinian couple.

- Excuse me, Mrs. Broderick,

Mr. Conway's on the phone.

- My high-priced LA lawyer.

Excuse me.

- It never stops.

- Hello?

Yes, I understand.

Thank you.

Um,

please forgive me,

I need to go, um, discuss something with Dan.

I'll be right back.

- You're going over there?

- I have no choice, he won't take my calls anymore.

Don't worry, it won't take long.

Look, Jerry, can you and Susan look after things

till I get back?

- Well, sure.

You okay?

Oh yeah, I'm used to this.

He won't talk to me, I had to come.

He sold the house out from under me.

I know, Mom,

but if you're caught violating the restraining order again,

they'll arrest you.

- I don't care. - Well, we do.

- Dan, you sold my house without my consent.

My house, mine.

- You told me a hundred times how much you hated that house.

You said it had too many painful memories.

- Well, maybe so, but they were my memories.

You had no right.

- It's a bonafide legal procedure, Betts,

and you've known about it for weeks.

- Well, that doesn't make it right.

- It's sold.

You'll get your share.

End of conversation. - Don't walk away from me.

- Talk to my lawyer. - He won't talk to me.

No one will talk to me.

- I think you two better come in the house right now.

What the hell was that?

- Dad?

Daddy.

- Dad, it's Mom.

- I want you all to stay inside.

You go upstairs and keep an eye on your brothers.

What are you doing? - That's it.

You, why you desert me- - Mom.

Mom, Mom, stop it, Mom.

- Katie- - No, no.

Stay away from her.

Stop it, stop it.

What the hell are you doing? - Break, break it up.

- What are you- - Oh God, what did you do?

Don't need you. - Okay, ma'am, calm down.

- Officer, I'm Dan Broderick,

there's a restraining order in effect.

That's my ex-wife,

she just drove her car into the front of my house.

- Let go of me, you Nazi.

Who do you think you are?

- I think I'm the guy that's gonna take you downtown.

Unless you don't want to press charges,

I mean, it's up to you.

- Up to him?

Who is he, your boss?

God, are you all on the same side?

Take her.

Look at this, girls.

Women have no power in America.

We're up against an all-boy establishment

over which your father is king.

All right, no.

- Kate, no.

Honey, please.

There's nothing else I can do, I'm sorry.

- We had a life together.

We both wanted the same things.

We're both smart, we're both funny.

We were a credit to each other.

We were "Leave it to Beaver."

It may sound funny, but that's what we were.

Everything we had was who I was.

And one day,

he, he walked.

He, he just walked away with it.

I wasn't Mrs. Anybody anymore.

He erased the memory.

He erased the marriage.

He erased me.

I'd do it again, only I'd do it better.

I was so mad.

He, he had, he'd just stolen everything from me.

Up to that point, he'd stolen my furniture, my kids,

my clothes, my jewelry.

Oh, only, I knew I still own half that house.

I just didn't understand how that could be taken from me.

Dan likes to say that I have the foulest mouth in the world.

You bet I do.

I've practiced.

- That's the old name. - Hey, you guys, jump.

Jump right here. - I'm you.

My headphones.

- Mom.

Mom, if Dad finds you here.

Mom, are you okay?

- Merry Christmas, baby.

- Mom, you can't just keep coming in here like this.

- Is there anything under here for me?

Is there?

- Sure, Mom.

Of course there is, but it's not Christmas yet and-

- Well, is this one for me, huh?

- Mom, Mom, stop that.

- What about this, is this for me?

Oh, just leave me alone.

I want to have Christmas, too.

He doesn't get to take Christmas from me.

Put that down.

Put that down.

- Oh.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Kate.

Kate, Katie, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Please, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Mommy wouldn't hurt you.

- That was my present for you.

It was for you.

- Please forgive me.

I'm sorry.

I just love you all so much.

We were in and out of courts forever

as I fought for my rights.

- With all due respect, Your Honor,

Mrs. Broderick has consistently violated

any number of restraining orders

and clearly cannot be trusted.

- Oh, for God sakes,

even child molesters get visitation rights.

What is this, Mother Russia?

- Mrs. Broderick, would you mind?

- Please, I'm trying to help.

Well you're not trying right.

The worst thing is the way

he forcibly separated my children from me,

sometimes with the help of so-called experts

that in fact, he'd hired.

- Well with all that's gone on,

these children need to remain in a stable environment.

And in my opinion,

Mrs. Broderick does not provide

any type of stable environment.

Thank you, Dr. Miller.

I was forced into a legal system

that Dan Broderick controlled.

Everything was backwards, especially the money.

Here was a man who was literally spending

a fortune on himself, now that he'd made it,

while I was expected to exist on what he threw my way.

Ultimately, Dan got the final divorce decree

on a day that I wasn't even present.

I got no custody, no visitation rights.

- Are you certain, Mrs. Broderick was served?

- Yes, sir, she has been, personally,

in as much as she has no attorney of record at this time.

- Okay, folks, end of the line.

The dissolution is granted.

Mr. Broderick, consider yourself divorced.

- Thanks.

- Marge.

Finally, it's Betty.

Yeah, I'm workin' at the La Jolla Cove Galleries.

- Oh, yes, Betty.

- Well, I've been leaving messages all week.

You and Carl been out of town?

- Well, no, not exactly.

It's just been one of those weeks.

- Huh, well, no matter.

As I said in your machine, today's the day.

- The day?

- Yeah, where do you want to go for lunch?

I'll pick you up.

- I'm afraid, I'm not going to be able to make it this time.

- Marge, it's tradition, it's your birthday.

- Betty, we've been socializing with Dan and Linda

and it just wouldn't be appropriate

for us to see you right now.

I'm sorry, I hope you understand.

- Perfectly.

Geez.

Hi, no one's able to answer the phone right now,

but if you'll leave a message, someone will call you back.

Thanks.

- Oh, sweet, wonder who taught her how to talk?

So Dan, I guess you weren't satisfied

with raking me over the course financially,

now you have to poison my social life as well.

Why a child whore, Dan?

And what is it about the bitch that turns you on?

It's certainly not her intellect, she's a moron.

She's an oversexed, syphilitic piece of poor white trash.

You with the slut now, Dan?

Probably, huh?

- Mommy, it's me, Grant.

- Hi, Grant.

Hi, sweetheart.

How is my baby boy?

Are they treating you all right?

- Yeah, Mom, but-

- 'Cause if they're not, you could come live with me.

Wouldn't it be fun?

- Yeah, Mom, but you've gotta stop

leaving messages like this all the time.

It, it makes me feel funny when you say all that stuff

about Linda and Daddy, like embarrassing stuff.

- Sweetheart, there's worse things in life

than being embarrassed.

And I didn't cause this, your daddy did.

- But, Mom, all you care about is your stupid money

and getting rid of Linda.

You're always mad and everything.

You never say anything nice anymore.

- Nice.

Who's not nice?

Your father, that's who.

Your father dumped your mommy for a 12-year-old.

That's nice?

You little traitor.

Who put you up to this, the slut or the pervert?

Who?

Tell me, Grant.

You tell your mommy, Grant.

Talk to me.

Talk, please, talk to me, Grant.

- Honey, are you ready?

It wasn't as though

he and Linda had a new life.

It was as though Linda stepped into my life.

My life kept going with my husband,

my traditions, my friends, the children.

The only difference was Linda was there instead of me.

- Come on, Dad, you're gonna be late.

I mean it's only the biggest night of your life.

Okay, okay, I'm comin'.

- You got film in that thing?

- You want to do this?

- No.

I think the whole thing's a crock anyway.

- Man is she hot.

Smile.

- Thank you.

- And now, ladies and gentlemen,

will you please join us in a round of applause

as we welcome the new president

of the San Diego County Bar Association, Mr. Dan Broderick,

who will dance the first dance of this ball

with Miss Linda Kolkena.

- What could be better than this?

- Oh, I'll tell ya. - What?

- Being married to you.

You think?

- Oh, Dan-

- Well, you don't have to, you know,

you don't have to give me an answer right away.

You can take your time,

take your time to really take two, three minutes.

While, while you're thinking about it, here.

Um.

- Oh.

It's beautiful. - You like it?

- Is that a yes? - Yes.

- Yes.

- I love you.

- You do? - Yeah.

- Well, I love you.

- I want you all to understand

what this engagement business really means.

It means you're losing your father.

Little by little, he'll pull away from you.

And soon, since his new wife is so young,

she's gonna want children of her own.

And that's the point at which

he's gonna completely turn away from you.

Maybe even disown you.

It's all right, Grant, honey.

All of you will have a mother who loves you.

A mother who may be completely alone in this world,

but will never abandoned you the way your father has.

I will always love you.

Especially since your father has stopped.

- Do we have to call her Mom?

- No.

No.

Hey, your mom is always gonna be your mom.

I mean, I know things have been pretty horrible between us,

but.

- Yeah, that's the understatement of the year.

- Look, I wish I could fix everything that's happened,

but I can't.

I just hope you all know I love you

and Linda loves you.

And I want you to know that our being married,

isn't gonna take away from my relationship with you at all.

In fact, it might even add a little stability to things.

And

maybe your mom will

accept the fact that things are finally over between us.

Maybe she'll

come back to earth.

- I wouldn't count on it.

You know how to shoot one of these?

No.

- That's okay, I can recommend a good course,

an ex-police officer teaches it.

So for a single woman like yourself,

I think this is probably your best protection.

That's extremely accurate and extremely powerful

- I'll take it. - Good choice.

- You're just a slug in a fancy tie, Dan.

You're too low to kick and yet too wet to step on.

And you think your slut makes you look good?

Well, you're wrong, Danny boy.

She makes you look like a horny old man.

Are you with the whore now, Dan?

Are you makin' it with the dog meat on the stairs now, Dan?

No, huh?

- Hello.

- Oh, you are there.

You sneaky bastard.

- Yep, I'm here

and this is stopping tonight, this vulgarity.

- Vulgarity?

What's vulgar is the office slut's voice

on the phone that my kids use.

- Okay.

Okay.

I'm instituting a fine system.

100 bucks for every obscene word you leave

on my answering machine.

$250 every time you violate the court order

against coming on my property

and $1,000 if you ever take the kids away

without getting my permission first.

What?

- It's all coming off the $16,000 a month I'm sending you.

So far this month, you're minus 1,500.

- You pompous bastard.

Do you know what you can do with your fines?

And now parents, families, and honored guests,

it gives me great pleasure to present

this year's graduating- - I remember her sleeping

in a dresser drawer next to our bed

in this tiny apartment in Boston.

- Miss Barbara- - Look at her, Susan,

she's almost a woman.

God, I love her.

Miss Celeste Armstrong.

Miss Deborah Atkinson.

Oh, Kate's goin', Kate's goin'.

Miss Katherine Baker,

Miss Julie Bentley,

Miss Libby Bradshaw,

Miss Kate Broderick.

Congratulations.

Miss Cynthia Carter.

Miss Cynthia Carter.

Miss Nancy Creek.

- I'm gonna make this quick.

I don't want to ruin Kate's day

as you seem to be intent on doing,

but if you point that thing at me again,

you're gonna be photographing the inside of your own throat.

Got it?

- Hi, Betts.

- Hello, darling.

- It's always lovely to see you.

Miss Elisabeth Kayden Hunt.

- Betty, I'm on your side here, you know that,

but you went too far today.

- Meaning what?

- The pictures, Betty.

It's your daughter's party, not yours.

She doesn't deserve to be humiliated like that.

- Susan, I have been so humiliated for so long now,

It just seems normal to me.

That's pretty sad, isn't it?

Linda, it's Heather Wilson, the calligrapher.

I came by to pick up the guest list,

but the maid couldn't find it.

- Hello, Heather, I'm here.

Yeah, I don't know, I left it out for you.

Oh, I'm gonna have to look around and get back to you.

Yeah, I'm really sorry.

Thank you.

- She's right, it's gone.

- I know who has it. - Who?

- Who do you think?

Look, Dan, I love you

and I feel for you having to live with all this,

but now I'm havin' to live with it, too.

You're right, you're right.

I'll change the locks tomorrow.

- Thank you.

And I'd like to report her violation

of the restraining order.

- You can't do that.

- Why not?

- Linda, you know the law better than most people.

You have no proof that it was Betty.

- Oh, come on, Dan, who else?

- I know, I know, but you can't prove it.

Besides which, I don't need her announcing to the press

that I'm throwing her in jail again.

It's a small town

and I can't afford all this insane publicity.

- Okay, fine, but I still want my wedding list back.

- Mrs. Broderick,

the court demands that you return the guest list.

- Well, Your Honor, I,

I took the list thinking it was, uh, something else of mine

and I, I would gladly have brought it back.

In fact, I, I would have brought it with me here today,

once I realized, but, um, I can't find it.

- Uh-huh.

Well until you do, I'm releasing Mr. Broderick

from his obligation to make alimony payments.

- What?

- Perhaps that might refresh your memory.

Thank you all very much for coming.

Would the clerk called the next case, please.

- Big deal, it's not gonna make her return my list.

Come on..

Unbelievable.

- Take it back.

- Dan, it's her autobiography.

It's a 90-page-hate letter to you.

It's, it's evidence.

- Of what?

- That she's flipped out.

As if driving her car

through your living room wasn't enough.

It's proof.

- Unfortunately, it's also proof

that you broke into her house.

The door was open.

- Were you invited?

- The woman put a beach umbrella through your porch window.

She destroyed your furniture and your crystal.

- Look, one person breaking the law in this thing is enough.

You gotta take it back, Linda.

If nothing else,

we at least still have our credibility here.

It might be a good idea to keep it that way.

- All right, I'm sorry.

- Look, I understand, I do.

I just- - I'll take it back.

- Thank you.

- Loretta.

Hi, hi, Betty Broderick.

Well, actually I, I was fine until I found out

that you and Fred were gonna go to Dan's wedding.

How, how can you do that?

I mean, I looked after your children one summer.

For God sake, if you have any loyalty at all,

I beg you not to go.

I see.

Bull, Loretta.

No, bull, I am taking it personally.

Ellen.

Hi, Betty Broderick.

What's this I hear about you going to Dan's wedding?

Oh, honey, I'm so glad to get here.

Traffic is just horrible.

- Good morning, Miss- - Lovely day for it.

Hi, Margie.

Huh, oh, hi.

I'm glad you could come-

- Can I see your invitation, please?

Hi.

- Susan McDonald is with Betty.

She'll call here if Betty tries to pull anything.

- Great.

- Here. - What's this?

- Put it on.

- Larry.

I agreed to security guards.

Now it looks like the Untouchables are out there.

- She bought a gun.

She's told half the world she's gonna shoot you.

- I refuse to lead my life this way.

I flat out refuse.

I'm not gonna give into her, it's terrorism.

Besides,

it makes me look fat.

- As best man, it falls on me to propose a toast.

All of us are a bit older than we were the last time around

with Dan.

A lot of the old Irish toasts you've all heard before,

so I don't have any of those.

I would just like to say to Dan and Linda,

may you have many babies and much happiness.

- Here, here. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - Salud.

Love you.

Congratulations.

Have a great time.

Okay, you two, one more.

Over here.

It was the most depressing day

of my life,

at home being guarded.

I don't know, I guess I just couldn't believe

that I could be any more depressed than I already was.

But from that day forward,

I just didn't ever want to get up again, ever.

Yeah, here you go.

All right.

Stay with him.

Always stay with your man.

Okay, everybody in.

Come on, guys, everybody in.

Come on in.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

- Come on, guys, come on, let's hustle up.

- Hurry, hurry, hurry- - Come on.

- Get some oranges- - Guys, come on.

Everybody has some water.

Everybody, water.

- Come on, guys. - Come on, guys,

take that top off, will ya?

Everybody drinks.

Everybody drinks, even if you're not thirsty, okay?

Guys, you're lookin' good out there.

Hey, Tommy.

Come on, water, water up.

Tommy, get some water.

- Here some water. - Here, here, here.

- Oh, okay, I got it. - Thank you.

- Good, good, good- - Everybody get water?

You sure you want to do this?

- No, I'm not sure.

- Honey, the woman's unstable.

How can you give her any kind of visitation rights?

- Oh, she keeps insisting

that one of the things that makes her crazy

is not having a regular relationship with a kids.

So maybe if there was a court-approved visitation schedule,

she'd leave us alone.

It's what she wants.

- She's a liar, Dan.

She's dangerous.

- Not to the kids, she'd never hurt them.

No.

She was a doting mother, she did everything.

She sacrificed everything for them.

No matter what she's done to them, they love her.

Besides which, they see how happy you and I are

and they see how miserable she is

and they want to make her feel better.

She's their mom.

How could I keep them from doing that?

I'll put in a stipulation that if she goes awry in any way,

that's the end of it for good.

- What is it? - Look at this.

Look at this.

What, the gall of this guy, the gall of him.

What a load of crap.

Daniel will grant me custody of the kids

on a temporary basis provided I behave,

otherwise I lose them.

Can you believe all this?

Well, it.

- I hope he gets terminally ill.

Look at this, did you see all this?

Do you know how long I have fought the,

the one man legal giant?

He has all the cards, Susan.

I, I fight him back, but that's what I end up with.

- Betty,

I know what you've been through.

I've been there.

And I know how much it hurts and for how long

but, um,

it's time to move on.

You have got so much going for you, Betty.

You're beautiful.

You're smart.

You're a teacher.

You're cultured.

You are funnier than any two comedians I can name.

So please, for your own preservation,

it's just time to move on.

- This is you being my friend?

- Yes.

A good one,

and I don't want to see you destroy yourself any further.

You've got to let him go, Betty, before it's too late.

- He got to you, didn't he?

- Betty-

- I can't believe it, he got to you, too.

- Betty- - Take it back.

Take it back or get the hell out of my life.

Did you hear me?

Get out, now.

- Goodbye, Betty.

- I don't care what you say,

it's my favorite movie of all time.

- Gee, I never would have guessed.

You've seen it, what, seven times?

- Well with you I've seen it seven times.

If it makes you feel any better,

I know I've read the book at least twice.

- Me, too.

Along with ever other teenaged-American girl.

- I want first dibs on Rhett Butler.

Oh, I wouldn't argue with that.

Of course, I can't be Scarlet O'Hara.

- Why not?

- I'm Dutch.

- Frankly, my dear, I'm not giving a damn.

- Thank you, we have to leave now.

I think we've had enough.

- Are you paying for this? - No, I left a tip.

- And I turn the pages and I got pictures-

- Great. - And they're in color.

Isn't that great?

- I've had it, I'm goin' up.

- Okay, hun. - Mom, I don't feel too good.

Can I sleep in your bed tonight?

- Yeah, come on up, sweetie.

- Good night.

Ow.

- Ooh, sorry, honey, didn't see you laying there.

- It's okay.

- Oh, you're really good.

You're so strong. - Don't,

don't try to break my concentration.

- No, I wouldn't do that,

I would never do that. - Please.

- I would never try to break your concentration.

You know that.

Never.

Never.

You lost it.

- I lost it.

Hey, look, there's somebody drivin' this cab.

Bert, the cop sent this over.

He said to float away to Happy Land on the bubbles.

Oh, look at this, old Bert.

Champagne, huh?

By the way, where are you two goin'

on this here now honeymoon?

Where are we goin'?

Look at this.

There's the kitty, Ernie.

Here, come on, count it, Mary.

Oh, I feel like a bootlegger's life.

Look.

- You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna shoot the works.

A whole week in New York.

A whole week in Bermuda.

The highest hotels, the oldest champagne,

the richest caviar, the hottest music,

and the prettiest wife.

Woo, that does it.

And then what?

- Then what, honey? - After that, who cares?

That does it, come here.

Don't look now,

but there's somethin' funny goin' on

over there at the bank, George.

I've never really seen one,

but that's got all the earmarks of bein' a run.

Hey, Ernie,

if you got any money in the bank, you better hurry.

George, let's not stop, let's go.

Just a minute.

- I did it.

I finally shot the son of a bitch.

I don't know.

I really went there to shoot myself in front of them.

I got nervous.

It always makes me mad when they say

that Dan and Linda were the victims.

Me and the kids were the victims.

There were two dead bodies, but there were five victims.

I have regrets.

but no remorse.

I regret that my husband had no character

and my children lost their mother

and their home and stability,

but I didn't do any legal bullying.

I wasn't the one who had an affair.

I won't accept the blame for what happened.

And I am happy

to be locked up in this dark,

little world

where no one can get me.