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1
00:00:06,413 --> 00:00:08,793
Hi! I'm Patrick Star!
2
00:00:08,896 --> 00:00:11,206
And I live with my parents!
3
00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:12,360
Ow!
4
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,344
This is my dad!
5
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,586
? whimsical music plays ?
6
00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:19,206
This is my mom! [chuckles]
7
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:22,448
[giggles]
This is my sister! She's shy.
8
00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:24,896
This is my grandpa!
9
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:26,827
This is my room!
10
00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:28,724
And this...
11
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:34,000
This is my show!
12
00:00:36,413 --> 00:00:39,344
? 2-bit video game music plays ?
13
00:00:39,931 --> 00:00:43,172
[laughter]
14
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:53,034
I liked when the green pipe
turned left.
15
00:00:53,103 --> 00:00:56,068
[laughs] Then turneth'd upwards!
16
00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:57,758
[guffaws] Yeah!
17
00:00:57,862 --> 00:00:59,827
But it's over now
18
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:03,793
and one of us has
to pick something else to watch.
19
00:01:03,862 --> 00:01:06,000
[all] Yeah.
20
00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:08,517
-[all yell]
-[growls]
21
00:01:08,518 --> 00:01:09,999
[Patrick] Let go of it!
22
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,517
I wanna watch Clam Chatter,
23
00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:15,103
where clams
discuss important issues!
24
00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:17,310
I wanna watch TV static!
25
00:01:17,413 --> 00:01:21,275
I must watcheth my soap operas!
26
00:01:21,344 --> 00:01:23,827
[indistinct arguing]
27
00:01:23,931 --> 00:01:26,068
Hey, guys.
How's the TV party go-
28
00:01:26,172 --> 00:01:28,793
Whoa!
What's with the fight cloud?
29
00:01:28,896 --> 00:01:31,689
We wanna watch
different TV channels.
30
00:01:31,793 --> 00:01:33,663
There's a better way
to decide than-
31
00:01:33,758 --> 00:01:34,827
Hold on.
32
00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:36,827
Are you done yet?
33
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,448
Almost!
34
00:01:38,517 --> 00:01:39,567
Ow.
35
00:01:40,655 --> 00:01:41,896
[dings]
36
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,137
All done!
37
00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:44,793
You were saying?
38
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,310
I was saying
39
00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:49,275
there's a better way
to resolve your differences!
40
00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:50,655
Hmm.
41
00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:52,275
More punching!
42
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,724
I meant talking it ou-
43
00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:56,724
What about
a big sport contest thing?
44
00:01:56,827 --> 00:02:00,241
And winner gets the remote!
45
00:02:00,344 --> 00:02:01,758
Talking is easier-
46
00:02:01,862 --> 00:02:05,413
We'll call it the Pat-Tathlon!
47
00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:10,068
We can have a cool race,
and a jumping contest and-and...
48
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,965
Welp, if you can't beat 'em,
49
00:02:12,068 --> 00:02:14,551
make a live televised event!
50
00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:19,931
[Perch] Welcome one and all
to the Pat-Tathlon!
51
00:02:20,034 --> 00:02:22,758
The Star House is abuzz
with sporting fans,
52
00:02:22,862 --> 00:02:26,172
who've come to see
the best of the best.
53
00:02:26,241 --> 00:02:29,758
To compete in the games
takes a dull wit and a buff bod!
54
00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:33,896
Our athletes are warming up
to keep in tip-top shape!
55
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,931
From downloading
56
00:02:36,034 --> 00:02:37,724
to protein-loading
57
00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,172
to freeloading,
58
00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:41,517
there's no wrong way to get fit!
59
00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:44,620
Who will walk away
with the coveted TV remote?
60
00:02:44,724 --> 00:02:48,068
It's anyone's guess,
so stay tuned!
61
00:02:48,862 --> 00:02:50,732
It sounds like
the opening ceremony
62
00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:52,517
is about to begin.
63
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,670
Let's watch.
64
00:02:53,671 --> 00:02:55,378
[triumphant trumpet music plays]
65
00:02:55,379 --> 00:02:59,586
[Squidina] And now, the lighting
of the Pat-Tathlon Torch!
66
00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:03,965
[Fred] My leg!
67
00:03:04,068 --> 00:03:07,413
[Perch] Oh!
Here comes the Dartfish family!
68
00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:11,931
This year, the Pat-Tathlon Torch
is being carried by Teensy Tom.
69
00:03:12,034 --> 00:03:14,655
Daddy Dartfish must be so proud.
70
00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:17,137
You're doing fantastic, son!
71
00:03:17,241 --> 00:03:18,965
Just ignore the thousands,
72
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,344
no, millions of eyes
judging your every move.
73
00:03:22,482 --> 00:03:23,896
-[crowd gasps]
-Oh!
74
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,241
[Perch] Wuh-oh!
75
00:03:25,310 --> 00:03:28,310
Looks like Teensy Tom
took a teensy tumble!
76
00:03:28,311 --> 00:03:29,274
[screams]
77
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:30,827
[crowd screaming]
78
00:03:30,828 --> 00:03:33,240
[Daddy Dartfish] You'll get it
next time, slugger!
79
00:03:33,241 --> 00:03:37,517
The torch is lit
and my toupee is on fire.
80
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,379
Let the games begin!
81
00:03:41,103 --> 00:03:44,103
Our first event
is the Dinette Vault!
82
00:03:44,172 --> 00:03:46,931
Up first is Pat-Tron.
83
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,379
There he goes!
84
00:03:49,034 --> 00:03:50,084
Ow.
85
00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:51,205
Ow!
86
00:03:51,206 --> 00:03:52,256
Ow.
87
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,344
Who are you people?!
88
00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:55,310
And what are ya doin'
in my floor?!
89
00:03:55,448 --> 00:03:56,862
I'm your grandson.
90
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,724
-G-grandson?
-? tender music plays ?
91
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:03,241
I'm... a grandpappy?
92
00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:08,275
Well, come on,
give ol' grampy a hug!
93
00:04:08,379 --> 00:04:11,172
[straining]
94
00:04:12,172 --> 00:04:14,931
So, Patrick, what was going
through your head
95
00:04:15,034 --> 00:04:17,137
as you made that winning leap?
96
00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:19,241
Um, the ceiling.
97
00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:21,206
But wait! I won?
98
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:25,000
Yep! Looks like your competitors
got a little hung up.
99
00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:26,033
How do you feel?
100
00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:27,084
Concussed.
101
00:04:27,103 --> 00:04:28,689
My precious boy!
102
00:04:28,793 --> 00:04:32,896
Concussed or bust,
it's time for the next event!
103
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,344
? gentle, shimmering jingle
plays ?
104
00:04:37,034 --> 00:04:39,965
Up next,
it's the downstairs slalom.
105
00:04:40,068 --> 00:04:41,758
First to the finish wins!
106
00:04:41,862 --> 00:04:45,724
Are you sure this is about
who controls the TV remote?
107
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:48,551
I think you just wanna
play silly games.
108
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,344
Just gimme the pokey things!
109
00:04:50,448 --> 00:04:51,551
Okay.
110
00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:52,862
Three, two, one, go!
111
00:04:52,965 --> 00:04:55,241
[Perch] The Patricks
are all neck and neck!
112
00:04:55,344 --> 00:04:57,758
But what's this?
Seems Pat the Hapless
113
00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,724
has an "edge"
on the other racers.
114
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:02,965
Oh, no! I've been hacked!
115
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:04,153
[chuckles]
116
00:05:04,206 --> 00:05:06,172
[Perch]
Pat the Hapless pulls ahead!
117
00:05:06,275 --> 00:05:09,655
But speed is not everything,
folks.
118
00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:12,103
This way to victory!
119
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:15,205
-[Perch] Oh! That's gotta hurt!
-[horn honks]
120
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:17,862
Meanwhile, Pat-Tron
is back in contention!
121
00:05:17,965 --> 00:05:19,344
-Oh, no!
-[Perch laughs]
122
00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:21,793
Looks like Patrick Star
just remembered
123
00:05:21,896 --> 00:05:23,241
he's in the race!
124
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,586
[phone rings]
125
00:05:24,689 --> 00:05:25,896
Yeah, I can talk.
126
00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:27,931
I'm in an elevator
so I might lose ya.
127
00:05:28,034 --> 00:05:31,000
-[elevator dings]
-[laughs] Yeah. Let's do lunch.
128
00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:32,172
[cheering]
129
00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:34,413
[Pat-Tron] There it is!
The finish line!
130
00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:36,586
I'm going to win!
131
00:05:36,689 --> 00:05:40,068
Pat-Tron is running this race
unopposed!
132
00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:41,517
But wait, what's this?
133
00:05:42,068 --> 00:05:44,172
Emerging from the wall...
134
00:05:44,173 --> 00:05:45,792
Yes!
135
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,620
It's Pat the Hapless!
136
00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:50,103
For daytime television!
137
00:05:50,206 --> 00:05:54,413
[Perch] But Pat-Tron is not
taking this lying down!
138
00:05:54,551 --> 00:05:56,482
Maximum overdrive!
139
00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:59,000
[Perch]
Pat The Hapless in full gallop!
140
00:05:59,103 --> 00:06:01,172
It's anyone's race!
141
00:06:01,275 --> 00:06:02,905
It all comes down to this,
folks.
142
00:06:02,965 --> 00:06:05,137
Looks like it's gonna be
a photo finish.
143
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:06,466
[camera shutter clicks]
144
00:06:06,965 --> 00:06:09,034
It's Pat the Hapless
145
00:06:09,137 --> 00:06:10,827
by a hair!
146
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:13,862
Congrats on the win,
Mr. The Hapless.
147
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,050
What's your secret?
148
00:06:15,137 --> 00:06:18,827
No secret, Perch,
just hard work.
149
00:06:18,931 --> 00:06:21,586
[laughs] Wise words, and-
150
00:06:21,689 --> 00:06:23,724
Yeah, it is a mess here.
151
00:06:23,862 --> 00:06:26,827
They've got this Pat-Tathlon
thing or something.
152
00:06:26,931 --> 00:06:28,758
Hmm, I don't know.
153
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:32,931
Okay, folks,
let's keep things moving!
154
00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:36,965
Our next event is fencing,
and our athletes are warming up!
155
00:06:36,966 --> 00:06:38,792
-[Patrick grunts]
-There's Patrick Star
156
00:06:38,793 --> 00:06:42,103
practicing with a...
radio antenna?
157
00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:43,482
Ha!
158
00:06:46,862 --> 00:06:48,172
[horn honks]
159
00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:53,379
Patrick! I need my pasta
strainer back now, honey!
160
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,931
Here. Sorry.
161
00:06:57,034 --> 00:07:00,620
[laughs] Looks like
spaghetti night in the Star home
162
00:07:00,758 --> 00:07:02,620
is officially canceled!
163
00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:05,448
Anyway, let's check in
on Pat the Hapless!
164
00:07:05,586 --> 00:07:07,862
[growling]
165
00:07:07,965 --> 00:07:10,241
[yells, grunts]
166
00:07:12,586 --> 00:07:16,241
FYI, ya can't use an ax
in fencing.
167
00:07:16,344 --> 00:07:17,517
Huh?!
168
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:18,758
Yeah. No good.
169
00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:20,002
[disappointed grunt]
170
00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:23,862
Here. It's called a foil.
171
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:27,862
Mmm. To foil my enemies.
172
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,482
-[yells]
-? ominous music plays
173
00:07:31,896 --> 00:07:33,000
Yikes!
174
00:07:34,482 --> 00:07:36,592
And it looks like
our first fencing match
175
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:37,931
is about to begin!
176
00:07:38,034 --> 00:07:41,103
Cower, vile foe! [grunts]
177
00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:42,275
Ow. Ow.
178
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,586
Pat the Hapless
is on the offensive
179
00:07:44,689 --> 00:07:47,310
while it's not clear
if Patrick realizes
180
00:07:47,311 --> 00:07:49,102
-the event has even begun!
-Ow. Ow. Ow.
181
00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:52,068
The big question is
who will win?
182
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:55,931
And also,
where the heck is Pat-Tron?
183
00:07:56,068 --> 00:07:58,655
-[Patrick] Ow. Ow.
-[Pat the Hapless grunts]
184
00:07:58,758 --> 00:08:01,551
It's fencing time!
185
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,827
-Ow.
-[whirring]
186
00:08:03,931 --> 00:08:05,000
[both] Huh?
187
00:08:05,103 --> 00:08:08,517
Wowie!
Patrick Star andPat the Hapless
188
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:12,482
just got out-fenced
by being fenced in!
189
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:16,793
Which makes them,
no offense,losers.
190
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,655
I am triumphant!
191
00:08:18,758 --> 00:08:22,827
Can I watch my television
program of choice now?
192
00:08:22,965 --> 00:08:24,586
Nope!
193
00:08:24,655 --> 00:08:26,344
Aw, nuts and bolts.
194
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:28,344
And here's the reason why,
folks.
195
00:08:28,482 --> 00:08:31,793
Patrick Star, Pat the Hapless,
and Pat-Tron
196
00:08:31,896 --> 00:08:36,275
are currently locked
in a three-way tie!
197
00:08:36,379 --> 00:08:37,896
[all] Aw, nuts!
198
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,275
That means the winner
will be decided
199
00:08:40,344 --> 00:08:42,793
by one final competition.
200
00:08:42,862 --> 00:08:43,912
What will it be?
201
00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:45,482
Shot put?
202
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:46,758
Javelin?
203
00:08:47,448 --> 00:08:50,275
Or... tiddlywinks?
204
00:08:50,379 --> 00:08:52,137
The answer is...
205
00:08:52,206 --> 00:08:53,551
none of these!
206
00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:55,448
Folks, that's because it's time
207
00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:58,965
for the Pat-Tathlon Mega Event!
208
00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:01,827
Now, what is the Mega Event
you may ask?
209
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:04,448
Why, it's a combination
of the following:
210
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:07,275
The Floor Is Lava,
Equestrian Dressage,
211
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:12,000
Rhythmic Gymnastics, Dodgeball,
Competitive Eating and more!
212
00:09:12,896 --> 00:09:15,482
When you said the floor is lava,
213
00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:18,344
you meant
make-believe lava, right?
214
00:09:18,448 --> 00:09:20,068
Of course not!
215
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:27,000
? ominous music plays ?
216
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:31,034
[whimpering]
217
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,758
Now. Here's a quick
Mega Event rundown.
218
00:09:33,896 --> 00:09:36,655
Each of you will ride
his own trusty steed...
219
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:37,827
[whinnies]
220
00:09:37,931 --> 00:09:39,655
...into the living room
221
00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:41,868
where you'll hop
across various objects
222
00:09:41,931 --> 00:09:45,137
while simultaneously
waving gymnastic ribbons
223
00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:48,206
and avoiding a barrage
of dodgeballs
224
00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:49,689
thrown from down below
225
00:09:49,793 --> 00:09:52,241
by beloved members
of the Star family!
226
00:09:52,344 --> 00:09:53,724
Ha! Ya missed me!
227
00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:55,550
Then, you'll head
to the top of the stairs
228
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:58,379
where you'll find a giant pile
of hot dogs!
229
00:09:58,448 --> 00:10:01,137
You'll have 20 seconds
to eat as many as you can!
230
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:06,379
After that,
validate your parking,
231
00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:07,724
capture the flag,
232
00:10:07,827 --> 00:10:09,034
solve cold fusion,
233
00:10:09,103 --> 00:10:10,482
braid my daughter's hair,
234
00:10:10,586 --> 00:10:12,026
write a best-selling novel,
235
00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:14,068
eat more hot dogs,
236
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:16,103
play 18 holes of mini golf,
237
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:17,827
perform Swan Lake,
238
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:19,310
make some balloon art...
239
00:10:19,311 --> 00:10:20,378
[dolphin chirps]
240
00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:21,429
...kick the can,
241
00:10:21,517 --> 00:10:24,000
do a podcast, 50 push-ups,
242
00:10:24,068 --> 00:10:26,551
fall in love with your wife
all over again,
243
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,448
canoe across the bathtub,
244
00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,931
shake your maracas!
245
00:10:29,932 --> 00:10:31,930
Whoever crosses
the finish line first
246
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:35,379
will be crowned the winner
of the entire Pat-Tathlon
247
00:10:35,448 --> 00:10:37,034
and take full command
248
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:41,586
of the coveted television
remote control!
249
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,241
Batteries not included.
250
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,586
Any questions?
251
00:10:44,689 --> 00:10:46,862
Could thou runneth that
by us again?
252
00:10:46,931 --> 00:10:48,068
No!
253
00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:49,413
On your marks!
254
00:10:49,551 --> 00:10:51,000
-Get set!
-[drum rolls]
255
00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,034
[whinnying]
256
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:54,551
[all grunt]
257
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:56,724
[all] Aw, nuts!
258
00:10:56,827 --> 00:11:01,034
Whoa!
And this Pat-Tathlon is over!
259
00:11:01,137 --> 00:11:03,827
By default, the winner is...
260
00:11:03,965 --> 00:11:05,586
these three seahorses!
261
00:11:05,689 --> 00:11:07,241
[all whinny]
262
00:11:07,965 --> 00:11:10,482
? upbeat, triumphant music
plays ?
263
00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:18,413
I told you we shoulda
watched Clam Chatter.
264
00:11:18,482 --> 00:11:19,965
[yells]
265
00:11:20,068 --> 00:11:21,448
[Patrick] Ow.
266
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,241
[orchestra tuning]
267
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,310
[indistinct chatter]
268
00:11:30,931 --> 00:11:32,965
Ah,
the opera!
269
00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:37,034
Finally some culture
on this tawdry little show.
270
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,310
[can clatters]
271
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:49,586
[burping "Toreador Song"]
272
00:11:50,758 --> 00:11:54,137
It's horrid! I am offended!
273
00:11:54,275 --> 00:11:58,827
Regigilled, I must get away
from this racket at once!
274
00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,137
[burping continues]
275
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:01,931
Right away, madam.
276
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,551
[gasps] It's getting closer!
277
00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:10,000
Back, you fiend!
278
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:10,999
[yelps]
279
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,034
-[pants]
-[Patrick burping]
280
00:12:13,035 --> 00:12:14,516
-[sigh]
-[burping stops]
281
00:12:14,517 --> 00:12:18,206
Regigilled, take me home
immediately.
282
00:12:18,344 --> 00:12:19,448
Regigilled?
283
00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:21,034
-[burps]
-[screams]
284
00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:24,517
[grunts] How do you work this
infernal contraption?!
285
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,482
-[tires screech]
-[burps]
286
00:12:26,551 --> 00:12:27,601
Ah!
287
00:12:27,655 --> 00:12:32,413
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
288
00:12:33,896 --> 00:12:37,068
There are 47 counts
of hit and run here!
289
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:40,000
I ought to throw the book
at you, Miss Upturn!
290
00:12:40,103 --> 00:12:43,689
It's LadyUpturn, you imbecile!
291
00:12:45,206 --> 00:12:48,000
Excellent reflexes, madam.
292
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:52,482
Just look at how horribly
you've disfigured this poor boy!
293
00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:54,862
Ugh!
294
00:12:54,965 --> 00:12:57,379
He'll never be normal again.
295
00:12:57,517 --> 00:13:01,172
Who cares?
He doesn't have money.
296
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:02,448
[grumbles angrily]
297
00:13:02,551 --> 00:13:05,551
Miss Upturn, clearly
you need to be educated
298
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:08,068
about life in the real world.
299
00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:11,655
I hereby sentence you
to imprisonment for one week...
300
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,568
-[horrified gasp]
-...with no access
301
00:13:13,569 --> 00:13:14,550
to your money.
302
00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:15,757
[gasps more dramatically]
303
00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:19,379
To be served
in the Star family home!
304
00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:24,310
Oh, how lovely!
We're going to have a guest!
305
00:13:27,862 --> 00:13:30,103
But what about my jewelry?
306
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:34,103
[chuckles] Well, the bailiff has
a nice ankle bracelet for you.
307
00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:38,758
A GPS monitor to ensure that you
stay in the Stars' home
308
00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:41,137
for your entire sentence.
309
00:13:41,241 --> 00:13:43,448
Silver?! But I'm an autumn!
310
00:13:43,551 --> 00:13:45,379
I only wear gold!
311
00:13:45,448 --> 00:13:49,103
No!
312
00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:50,275
[echoes]
313
00:13:51,655 --> 00:13:54,310
? regal orchestral music plays ?
314
00:13:54,448 --> 00:13:56,448
[ankle monitor beeps]
315
00:13:56,551 --> 00:14:00,206
Ugh!
Back to this repulsive hovel.
316
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:03,551
Come, Regigilled.
317
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:06,034
Alert the inhabitants
of my arrival
318
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:07,827
and bring my luggage.
319
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:12,068
Of course, madam. [grunts]
320
00:14:18,344 --> 00:14:20,448
Well, well, well.
321
00:14:20,517 --> 00:14:23,724
If it isn't
the cash-rich convict.
322
00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,068
What an impertinent butler.
323
00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:28,206
Now, take care of my luggage.
324
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,965
At once, your majesty!
325
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,000
Yard sale! Everything must go!
326
00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:40,586
-Did somebody say "yard sale"?!
-[indistinct chatter]
327
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:42,482
Uh, hello?
328
00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:43,896
? tense music builds ?
329
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,000
[all] Welcome to your new home!
330
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,482
? fanfare music plays ?
331
00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:52,482
Good heavens! This place
is like a public restroom!
332
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:55,000
I can't be expected
to live like this!
333
00:14:55,793 --> 00:14:58,000
[ankle monitor]
Perimeter breached.
334
00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,482
[grunting]
335
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:02,068
Shocking.
336
00:15:02,206 --> 00:15:03,517
[coughs]
337
00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:07,862
The judge didn't mention
this was electrified.
338
00:15:07,965 --> 00:15:11,172
Oh well. [chuckles]
Only one way out of this thing.
339
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,068
[chomps, growls]
340
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:16,413
Poor thing!
You must be famished!
341
00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:18,241
Welcome to...
342
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:20,068
[in French accent]
...Chez Cecil!
343
00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:21,241
[laughs snootily]
344
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,103
Oh, thank Neptune,
345
00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:25,724
this is a French establishment!
346
00:15:25,827 --> 00:15:28,413
I'll have
an amphipod cordon bleu,
347
00:15:28,517 --> 00:15:32,931
kelp dauphinoise,
and a quiche, s'il vous pla�t!
348
00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:34,620
[in normal voice] Gesundheit!
349
00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:37,724
Here are your breakfast burgers!
350
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:39,137
Burgers?
351
00:15:39,241 --> 00:15:41,758
Well, I suppose
I'll have to get used
352
00:15:41,862 --> 00:15:44,068
to such vulgar repast.
353
00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:46,241
Here we go.
354
00:15:49,103 --> 00:15:51,275
What is this?!
355
00:15:51,413 --> 00:15:54,758
It's my secret ingredient:
old boot.
356
00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:58,758
Want some more?
It adds a rich, earthy umami.
357
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:00,619
[gasps]
358
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:04,137
-I can't live like this!
-Wait!
359
00:16:04,241 --> 00:16:07,448
-[electricity zapping]
-[Lady Upturn screams]
360
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,965
[vacuum whooshes]
361
00:16:10,068 --> 00:16:11,482
Alright, Mildred.
362
00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,517
Uh, can I call you Mildred?
363
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,050
Certainly not!
364
00:16:15,137 --> 00:16:17,689
Okay. Milly it is, then!
365
00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:23,379
It's time to do some chores!
366
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:27,103
Chores?!
What do I look like, the help?!
367
00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:31,310
Yes, because in this house,
we all help!
368
00:16:31,413 --> 00:16:32,862
You take out the garbage,
369
00:16:32,965 --> 00:16:35,482
and I'll vacuum the ceiling!
370
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,586
-Now hop to it!
-[vacuum whooshing]
371
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:41,689
Garbage, eh?
372
00:16:42,965 --> 00:16:44,206
[hums]
373
00:16:44,310 --> 00:16:46,300
-[Lady Upturn] You there!
-[screams]
374
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,724
I have finished
my wretched chore.
375
00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:51,423
-[gasps]
-? tense music plays ?
376
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:53,482
Where's all our furniture?!
377
00:16:53,586 --> 00:16:57,034
Well, you did ask me
to take out the garbage.
378
00:16:57,137 --> 00:16:59,275
? whimsical music plays ?
379
00:16:59,344 --> 00:17:03,896
Look at me, Mom!
I'm king of the mountain!
380
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,689
Patrick?! [grumbles]
381
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:08,344
Thanks for your help, Milly!
382
00:17:08,448 --> 00:17:13,000
Let's see if anyone else
needs help around the house.
383
00:17:13,068 --> 00:17:14,517
[Patrick] Wah!
384
00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:16,758
I'm okay!
385
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:21,655
Alright, Dartfish family,
gimme the usual!
386
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:23,172
[all] Okay!
387
00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:25,034
? upbeat music plays ?
388
00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:44,034
-Okay, go help GrandPat!
-? music stops ?
389
00:17:44,035 --> 00:17:45,136
Buh-bye.
390
00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:48,379
What on earth is a GrandPat?
391
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,268
? ominous music builds ?
392
00:17:50,310 --> 00:17:51,965
? tense musical stinger ?
393
00:17:52,068 --> 00:17:55,689
[screams] Infestation!
394
00:17:59,586 --> 00:18:00,965
[wheezing cough]
395
00:18:01,068 --> 00:18:02,931
[screams]
396
00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:04,931
[groans]
397
00:18:05,068 --> 00:18:07,862
Takes me back
to the trench wars.
398
00:18:07,931 --> 00:18:10,103
[coughing]
399
00:18:10,206 --> 00:18:12,482
Dartfish, dart!
400
00:18:15,448 --> 00:18:18,448
Great! Now who's gonna
cut my hair!?
401
00:18:19,310 --> 00:18:22,103
Care to try your hand
at the old scissors
402
00:18:22,206 --> 00:18:23,896
and mustache wax?
403
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:26,655
[coughs]
404
00:18:27,413 --> 00:18:29,724
Kinda fragile for a felon.
405
00:18:29,827 --> 00:18:34,137
When the Stars are attacked,
we have their back!
406
00:18:34,241 --> 00:18:35,620
Charge!
407
00:18:35,758 --> 00:18:39,241
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!
408
00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:41,896
Unhand me, you vermin!
409
00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:43,965
Do you not know who I am?!
410
00:18:44,103 --> 00:18:47,517
I am the fourth duchess
twice removed!
411
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:50,034
Now you're three times removed!
412
00:18:50,137 --> 00:18:52,103
Bombs away!
413
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,620
[grunts, wails]
414
00:18:55,758 --> 00:18:58,758
[Lady Upturn screams]
415
00:18:58,759 --> 00:18:59,861
[grunts]
416
00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:01,206
Are you okay?
417
00:19:01,344 --> 00:19:04,551
Speak to me, Lady Upturn!
Speak to me!
418
00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:05,705
[gurgling]
419
00:19:05,793 --> 00:19:09,310
? suspenseful music plays ?
420
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:13,068
Why, you half-witted-
421
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:14,222
[gurgles]
422
00:19:14,275 --> 00:19:15,931
[belches]
423
00:19:16,586 --> 00:19:19,379
[raucous laughter]
424
00:19:21,517 --> 00:19:24,586
? "Toreador Song" playing ?
425
00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,241
What is this feeling?
426
00:19:26,344 --> 00:19:29,344
Approval? From the hoi polloi?
427
00:19:29,482 --> 00:19:31,793
Oh. It is oddly gratifying.
428
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:35,206
[laughs]
Well, if you liked that,
429
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:38,689
then you're going to love this.
430
00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:46,620
[belches]
431
00:19:46,689 --> 00:19:49,379
This is awesome!
432
00:19:53,172 --> 00:19:54,793
[screams]
433
00:19:54,896 --> 00:19:57,206
[all laughing]
434
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,206
[rumbling explosions]
435
00:20:07,137 --> 00:20:10,344
[cheering]
436
00:20:10,862 --> 00:20:13,482
[inhales deeply, sighs]
437
00:20:14,689 --> 00:20:17,931
I feel so alive!
438
00:20:19,655 --> 00:20:23,137
-[Patrick screams]
-? "Toreador Song" ends ?
439
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:24,482
What did I miss?
440
00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:26,689
[French Narrator]
Two weeks later...
441
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:31,206
[hums "Toreador Song"]
442
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:34,586
? peaceful music playing ?
443
00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:42,758
Hey! That's mydinner!
444
00:20:42,862 --> 00:20:45,758
[Barb] And those are mycurlers!
445
00:20:45,862 --> 00:20:48,275
[GrandPat] And that's mymuumuu!
446
00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:50,862
[belches]
447
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,068
And that's myburp!
448
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:54,862
[contented sigh]
449
00:20:55,689 --> 00:20:57,689
Hey, wait a minute.
450
00:20:57,827 --> 00:20:59,931
Where's your ankle bracelet?
451
00:21:00,034 --> 00:21:01,551
Oh, that?
452
00:21:01,620 --> 00:21:04,241
My sentence ended days ago.
453
00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:06,379
Living like you poor slobs
454
00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:09,793
makes my spirit feel so free.
455
00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:11,586
Well, if you're gonna stay...
456
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:13,551
...then we're gonna leave!
457
00:21:15,137 --> 00:21:17,034
[huffing and puffing]
458
00:21:17,103 --> 00:21:18,448
? whimsical music plays ?
459
00:21:18,449 --> 00:21:20,826
How do you work
this infernal contraption?!
460
00:21:20,827 --> 00:21:23,448
Wait! Where are you go-
461
00:21:25,206 --> 00:21:26,758
Uh-oh...
462
00:21:26,896 --> 00:21:28,689
Huh.
Well, would you look at that?
463
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:30,103
I had it in reverse.
464
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:31,862
[gavel slamming]
465
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:35,103
For the crime
of vehicular assault,
466
00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:38,068
I sentence you
to 12 months in...
467
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,482
the big house.
468
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,379
The big house?
469
00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:45,275
Looks like we're moving in
with you, Milly!
470
00:21:46,206 --> 00:21:47,931
[slurps]
471
00:21:48,448 --> 00:21:52,000
[both] Big house, here we come!
472
00:21:52,931 --> 00:21:56,724
Oh. That's what he meant
by "big house."
473
00:21:56,827 --> 00:22:00,931
All we did was run over
some rich lady with a boat.
474
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:05,793
You did what?
Ugh! I am offended.
475
00:22:06,068 --> 00:22:08,827
??
476
00:22:08,877 --> 00:22:13,427
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