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1
00:00:06,413 --> 00:00:08,724
Hi! I'm Patrick Star!
2
00:00:08,827 --> 00:00:12,275
And I live with my parents! Ow!
3
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,586
This is my dad!
4
00:00:16,689 --> 00:00:19,206
This is my mom! [chuckles]
5
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:22,448
[giggles]
This is my sister! She's shy.
6
00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:24,896
This is my grandpa!
7
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:26,827
This is my room!
8
00:00:27,413 --> 00:00:28,517
And this...
9
00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:30,068
[cheering]
10
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:34,000
This is my show!
11
00:00:42,379 --> 00:00:43,655
[sizzles]
12
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:51,034
[in Southern accent]
Howdy, y'all! I'm Patrick Star!
13
00:00:51,103 --> 00:00:55,931
And my show just got deep-fried
and countrified!
14
00:00:56,034 --> 00:00:58,137
Hope y'all are ready for...
15
00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:01,758
[announcer]
The Patrick Show presents...
16
00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:04,068
Sea Haw!
17
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,758
[announcer]
Featuring Lil' Squidina Star,
18
00:01:08,206 --> 00:01:10,000
Cecil "Sam Hill" Star,
19
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,000
Bunny Sue Starline,
20
00:01:13,103 --> 00:01:15,034
Good Ol' Grandpappy Star,
21
00:01:15,137 --> 00:01:17,896
Granny "Gravy" Tentacles,
22
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,620
Tinkle the Toilet,
23
00:01:19,724 --> 00:01:21,310
Plop the Outhouse,
24
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:23,413
Perch Pecans,
25
00:01:23,482 --> 00:01:25,137
Narlene and Nobby,
26
00:01:25,206 --> 00:01:27,616
-Southern Fried Slappy...
-[crickets chirping]
27
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,827
...SpongeBob BarrelPants,
28
00:01:29,931 --> 00:01:31,448
Rural Rube,
29
00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:33,482
Old Man Jenkins,
30
00:01:33,586 --> 00:01:35,172
Old Man Walker,
31
00:01:35,310 --> 00:01:37,241
Old Man Old Man,
32
00:01:37,344 --> 00:01:39,344
Old Man Old Lady,
33
00:01:39,482 --> 00:01:41,068
Sandy Biscuits...
34
00:01:41,172 --> 00:01:43,551
Plus lots more fun!
35
00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,620
Take it away, Maw and Paw!
36
00:01:47,620 --> 00:01:51,586
This is one
rootin' tootin' hootenanny!
37
00:01:51,655 --> 00:01:53,275
Yee-haw!
38
00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:56,413
[upbeat country music playing]
39
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:06,172
Spoon solo!
40
00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:08,586
[laughs]
41
00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:13,758
This is television poison!
42
00:02:13,896 --> 00:02:16,862
Nevertheless,
I will continue to hate-watch
43
00:02:16,965 --> 00:02:19,724
so that I have something
to complain about.
44
00:02:19,827 --> 00:02:21,310
[munches]
45
00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:24,448
[cheering]
46
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,379
? whimsical music plays
47
00:02:26,482 --> 00:02:27,931
[munching loudly]
48
00:02:28,068 --> 00:02:31,586
Golly!
Ain't nothin' tastier than corn!
49
00:02:31,689 --> 00:02:35,068
Or as some folks call it, maize.
50
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,827
Huh?
Now why'd they call it that?
51
00:02:37,931 --> 00:02:41,241
-[banjo plays]
-'Cause it's ah-maize-ing!
52
00:02:41,379 --> 00:02:45,862
Hooey! That joke stinks worse
than Plop the Outhouse.
53
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:49,551
Oh, come on.
Plop doesn't smell that bad.
54
00:02:49,655 --> 00:02:52,310
You say that now. [laughs]
55
00:02:52,862 --> 00:02:54,965
-[fog horn blows]
-[sniffs] Ew!
56
00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,379
[SpongeBob grunts]
57
00:02:58,551 --> 00:03:00,448
Ain't almost nothin' better
58
00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:04,103
than sittin' out on ma porch
drinkin' lemonade!
59
00:03:06,344 --> 00:03:07,394
Yup!
60
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,102
[GrandPat]
Almost nothing better?
61
00:03:09,103 --> 00:03:10,826
-[glass shatters]
-? dramatic music plays ?
62
00:03:10,827 --> 00:03:14,310
What about a purty boo-kay
of posies?
63
00:03:15,344 --> 00:03:17,103
Oh, ain't that sweet,
64
00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:22,206
but there's only one way to win
my withered, country heart.
65
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,275
I'll do anything!
66
00:03:24,379 --> 00:03:26,965
I'll tell ya what you can do!
67
00:03:28,724 --> 00:03:30,448
Get off my porch!
68
00:03:30,551 --> 00:03:33,551
[GrandPat screams]
69
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,517
Look, Old Man Jenkins!
70
00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:39,344
A shootin' star!
Time to make a wish!
71
00:03:39,448 --> 00:03:42,724
I wish this episode was over!
72
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:44,793
-[laughs]
-Yuk, yuk, yuk, yuk.
73
00:03:45,827 --> 00:03:47,000
Howdy, y'all!
74
00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:50,068
Good ol' country livin'
sure is fun, ain't it?
75
00:03:50,137 --> 00:03:52,247
-? tense music plays
-Except, of course,
76
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,145
when you accidentally step
on a rake
77
00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:55,931
and get yer face bashed in!
78
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,310
Ah!
79
00:03:57,793 --> 00:03:59,655
Anyhoo! Don't worry!
80
00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:01,379
I wrote a song to help all y'all
81
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:05,034
avoid embarrassin'
rake-related mishaps!
82
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,137
[cheers and applause]
83
00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:09,172
[upbeat music playing]
84
00:04:10,586 --> 00:04:12,551
? Watch out for that rake ?
85
00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:14,000
? Watch out for that rake ?
86
00:04:14,586 --> 00:04:17,965
? Oh, please, please, please
watch out for that rake ?
87
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:20,688
? If you don't watch
where you're goin' ?
88
00:04:20,689 --> 00:04:23,000
? There's a chance
your face could break ?
89
00:04:23,103 --> 00:04:24,310
? So... ?
90
00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,034
? Watch out for that rake ?
91
00:04:26,551 --> 00:04:30,137
? Watch out for that rake
Watch out for that rake ?
92
00:04:30,138 --> 00:04:32,930
? Keep your eyeballs fixed
down to the floor ?
93
00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:34,896
? Watch ev'ry step you take ?
94
00:04:34,897 --> 00:04:37,240
? There's a rake over here
There's a rake over there ?
95
00:04:37,241 --> 00:04:39,103
? It's an endless sea
of rakes ?
96
00:04:39,206 --> 00:04:40,551
? So please ?
97
00:04:40,689 --> 00:04:42,517
? Watch out for that rake ?
98
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:45,034
[banjo solo playing]
99
00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:51,000
? Watch out for that rake ?
100
00:04:51,068 --> 00:04:52,118
[music ends]
101
00:04:52,206 --> 00:04:53,965
[cheering]
102
00:04:54,482 --> 00:04:56,034
Wish I had a nickel
103
00:04:56,137 --> 00:04:58,896
for every time
I stepped on a rake.
104
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,620
How much money would'ja have?
105
00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:05,068
2.7 million dollars.
106
00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:07,793
And five cents.
107
00:05:09,448 --> 00:05:11,172
Hey there, Patrick!
108
00:05:11,275 --> 00:05:12,758
Hey there, Squidina!
109
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:16,931
What's hot, fresh,
and full of corn?
110
00:05:17,034 --> 00:05:18,137
Uh...
111
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:21,068
No, Patrick,
it ain't mama's fritters.
112
00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:23,448
It's The Country News!
113
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:26,034
Howdy, y'all.
114
00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:28,757
-[spittoon clangs]
-First up this evening:
115
00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:32,034
the corn report
with Chuck "The Truck" Lawrence.
116
00:05:32,103 --> 00:05:35,034
Chuck, what can y'all tell us?
117
00:05:36,275 --> 00:05:37,448
It's corn.
118
00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,586
There you have it, folks.
119
00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:41,413
And now on a lighter note,
120
00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:44,413
it's day five
of GrandPat's litter watch
121
00:05:44,482 --> 00:05:47,413
and those babies
could be here any minute!
122
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,620
-Let's take a look.
-[snoring]
123
00:05:49,621 --> 00:05:50,757
[cries]
124
00:05:50,758 --> 00:05:53,689
Codsarnit, ya plumb woke 'em up!
125
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,379
Scram! Git!
126
00:05:55,482 --> 00:05:57,241
[chuckles] New mothers.
127
00:05:57,310 --> 00:06:00,482
Well, that's all for us
at The Ol' Country News!
128
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:03,137
Y'all come back now, ya hear?
129
00:06:07,172 --> 00:06:09,000
[grunts]
130
00:06:12,931 --> 00:06:14,344
Sea Haw!
131
00:06:16,965 --> 00:06:21,517
Ain't nothin' better
than sittin' on my porch.
132
00:06:23,137 --> 00:06:26,068
I done ever'thang you asked,
Mee-maw.
133
00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:29,068
Swept your house,
mopped your floors,
134
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:32,448
waxed yer tables,
done your dishes,
135
00:06:32,551 --> 00:06:34,827
even milked yer sea cows!
136
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:36,655
Anything else?
137
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,862
Just one more thing.
138
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:41,758
Get off my ding-dang porch!
139
00:06:41,827 --> 00:06:43,000
[smacks]
140
00:06:43,413 --> 00:06:45,344
Boy, was that corny.
141
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,000
And I should know.
142
00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:48,965
I live in corn.
143
00:06:49,068 --> 00:06:50,965
-[laughs]
-[squawks]
144
00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,241
Ah!
145
00:06:53,586 --> 00:06:56,413
[Sandy]
Now it's time for Pacos Pat,
146
00:06:56,414 --> 00:06:57,861
the rootinest, tootinest,
147
00:06:57,862 --> 00:07:01,551
sharpshootin-est cob-boy
in the West!
148
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:02,705
? tense music plays ?
149
00:07:02,758 --> 00:07:04,000
Draw.
150
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:13,931
He couldn't hit water
if he was spitting in the ocean.
151
00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:14,930
[laughs]
152
00:07:14,931 --> 00:07:16,379
Ow! Oh!
153
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:21,068
And now let's say
a big howdy doody to...
154
00:07:21,137 --> 00:07:23,482
None other than the ama-
155
00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:24,931
Thank you very much,
156
00:07:25,034 --> 00:07:26,965
but we ain't need
no introductions!
157
00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:31,172
Everybody who's anybody
knows Narlene and Nobby!
158
00:07:31,275 --> 00:07:34,551
Say, Nobby,
what was them wise words
159
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,620
you said to me the other day?
160
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,931
Oh, they durn near changed
my life!
161
00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:41,310
Uh...
162
00:07:41,413 --> 00:07:43,620
[speaks gibberish]
163
00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:45,827
Nope! That weren't it.
164
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:48,172
[speaks gibberish]
165
00:07:48,275 --> 00:07:49,965
Hmm... That ain't it neither.
166
00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:54,241
Well, howzabout I sing
a song to jog your memory?
167
00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:56,586
? Well... ?
168
00:07:56,655 --> 00:07:58,724
? Momma is wise
and Daddy's well-read ?
169
00:07:58,827 --> 00:08:00,997
? But the smartest thing
I ever heard said ?
170
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,379
? Was what my dear
ol' brother said to me ?
171
00:08:04,482 --> 00:08:05,532
Tell it to 'em now!
172
00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:06,516
? Takkem bouta man ?
173
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:07,689
? Dem her dun boots ?
174
00:08:07,827 --> 00:08:09,758
? Fly o'er da hee gum
florjun shoots ?
175
00:08:09,827 --> 00:08:11,482
? Da bayou ?
176
00:08:11,586 --> 00:08:12,636
? Heeya ?
177
00:08:12,689 --> 00:08:13,965
That's right!
178
00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:15,414
? There's a local academic ?
179
00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:16,498
? With a PhD ?
180
00:08:16,499 --> 00:08:17,654
? Got a theory for a query ?
181
00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:18,915
? But it don't impress me ?
182
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:21,137
? Nobby's got him beat
intellectually ?
183
00:08:21,206 --> 00:08:22,862
? Verbalizin' this philosophy ?
184
00:08:22,965 --> 00:08:25,448
? He says, takkem bouta man
dem her dun boots ?
185
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:29,310
? Fly o'er da hee
Gum florjun shoots da bayou ?
186
00:08:29,413 --> 00:08:31,103
? Heeya ?
187
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,275
Everybody now!
188
00:08:32,276 --> 00:08:33,378
? Takkem bouta man ?
189
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:34,378
? Dem her dun boots ?
190
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:35,429
? Fly o'er da hee ?
191
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,655
? Gum florjun shoots ?
192
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,310
? Da bayou ?
193
00:08:38,379 --> 00:08:41,103
? Heeya! ?
194
00:08:41,206 --> 00:08:42,517
[cheers and applause]
195
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,000
[frustrated grunts]
196
00:08:48,758 --> 00:08:50,344
[grunts]
197
00:08:51,827 --> 00:08:53,655
-Bow to yer outhouse!
-[cheering]
198
00:08:53,758 --> 00:08:57,827
You gotta go!
Open the lid and do-si-do!
199
00:08:57,931 --> 00:09:00,241
-[SpongeBob screams]
-[cheering]
200
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,137
Sea Haw!
201
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:08,724
Ain't nothin' better
than sittin' on my porch.
202
00:09:09,275 --> 00:09:11,551
Avast, ye old sea hag!
203
00:09:11,689 --> 00:09:13,724
Get off my porch!
204
00:09:13,827 --> 00:09:14,965
[groans]
205
00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:20,206
Ye be messin' with
the wrong porch pirate, lassie!
206
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:21,931
[groans]
207
00:09:22,034 --> 00:09:25,000
This porch be ripe
for plunderin'!
208
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:26,310
Prepare to board, lads!
209
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:28,379
-[bell rings]
-[all] Yeah!
210
00:09:29,206 --> 00:09:30,379
[grunts]
211
00:09:31,241 --> 00:09:33,068
[muffled] Get off my-
212
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:37,724
Alright, sea dogs.
Shiver these timbers.
213
00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:39,896
-[moans]
-Arr!
214
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:42,241
-Cast off!
-[bell rings]
215
00:09:43,448 --> 00:09:46,551
[Sandy]
Poor Granny "Gravy" Tentacles.
216
00:09:46,655 --> 00:09:49,034
Who will help her now?!
217
00:09:50,275 --> 00:09:53,206
I can do it. I reckon.
218
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,586
[whistles]
219
00:09:55,275 --> 00:09:57,206
[barks, pants]
220
00:09:57,310 --> 00:10:00,241
[grunts] If there's anything
I like more
221
00:10:00,344 --> 00:10:02,310
than chasin' porch pirates,
222
00:10:02,413 --> 00:10:04,103
it's ridin' toilets.
223
00:10:04,206 --> 00:10:05,517
Bare back!
224
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,130
-[cheering]
-Who's with me?
225
00:10:07,586 --> 00:10:09,482
? Takkem bouta man
dem her dun boots ?
226
00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,896
? Fly o'er da hee gum
florjun shoots ?
227
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,551
? Da bayou ?
228
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,827
? Heeya ?
229
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:18,724
-[laughs]
-You get them Porch Pirates!
230
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:19,877
[neighs]
231
00:10:19,896 --> 00:10:21,482
Woo-hoo!
232
00:10:21,586 --> 00:10:22,689
[corn cocks]
233
00:10:22,793 --> 00:10:24,241
[munches loudly]
234
00:10:26,517 --> 00:10:27,689
Ah!
235
00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:29,068
[laughs]
236
00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:31,103
-Arr!
-[laughs]
237
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,034
[laughs]
238
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,463
Hey!
239
00:10:37,931 --> 00:10:39,034
Huh!
240
00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:40,724
Cobs away!
241
00:10:40,827 --> 00:10:42,586
[laughs]
242
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,482
[neighs]
243
00:10:58,620 --> 00:10:59,896
Get off my p-
244
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Sea Haw!
245
00:11:05,517 --> 00:11:10,344
What in tarnation
was thatcornpone road apple?
246
00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:17,413
? Watch out for that rake ?
247
00:11:19,241 --> 00:11:21,448
Sea Haw!
248
00:11:21,793 --> 00:11:25,827
? old time piano music playing ?
249
00:11:40,655 --> 00:11:43,310
[inaudible dialogue]
250
00:11:45,034 --> 00:11:47,655
"I'm... going... to..."
251
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:50,551
Aw phooey!
You're living in yesteryear!
252
00:11:50,689 --> 00:11:52,827
We're doing talkies now,
ya hear?
253
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:54,896
Did ya read that, Canny?!
254
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,517
I'm gonna kick ya
into the next millennium!
255
00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,379
[tank rumbling]
256
00:12:03,137 --> 00:12:04,310
Huh?
257
00:12:12,068 --> 00:12:14,620
Ahh, not the Kelpbed Kids again.
258
00:12:14,758 --> 00:12:17,862
You rascals better not
be stirrin' up trouble.
259
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:20,241
No, sir, Officer Murphy.
260
00:12:20,344 --> 00:12:22,586
We're just lookin'
for our lost-
261
00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:24,344
Canny!
262
00:12:24,862 --> 00:12:28,034
And now, we bury
this time capsule
263
00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:31,827
for the residents of
our fair city of Bikini Bottom
264
00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:34,862
to unearth in 100 years!
265
00:12:34,931 --> 00:12:36,103
[crowd cheering]
266
00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:38,310
It's just a little dirt.
267
00:12:38,413 --> 00:12:39,733
We can come back later and-
268
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:42,413
And now that
we've broken ground,
269
00:12:42,517 --> 00:12:45,206
please welcome
the city's tallest
270
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:48,551
and heaviest skyscraper!
271
00:12:48,552 --> 00:12:49,585
[groans]
272
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:51,551
[mechanical whirring]
273
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:56,137
[laughs] The only way you
kids'll be gettin' that can back
274
00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:58,896
is if ya happen to be here
in a hundred years
275
00:12:59,034 --> 00:13:00,620
when they're diggin' it up!
276
00:13:00,724 --> 00:13:02,275
Aw nerts!
277
00:13:03,793 --> 00:13:05,206
[all sigh]
278
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:10,000
Oh, Canny!
Life's so blue without ya!
279
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,586
You said it!
280
00:13:11,689 --> 00:13:15,172
A hundred years
is a long time to wait!
281
00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:18,724
Ah. If only we could build
a working time machine
282
00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:22,103
out of all the stuff a kid
can find for free...
283
00:13:22,206 --> 00:13:25,482
[gasps] Hoops,
you're a regular Einstein!
284
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:27,655
Who says we can't?!
285
00:13:28,379 --> 00:13:31,931
? old time montage music plays ?
286
00:13:35,758 --> 00:13:37,655
[grunts]
287
00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:41,310
What a beaut!
288
00:13:41,448 --> 00:13:45,344
Oh! We plumb forgot
the most important part!
289
00:13:45,448 --> 00:13:47,655
Plutonium fuel rods?
290
00:13:47,758 --> 00:13:48,965
[ominous thrumming]
291
00:13:48,966 --> 00:13:50,136
Close!
292
00:13:50,137 --> 00:13:53,103
The baseball card in the spokes!
293
00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:54,482
It'll make a keen sound
294
00:13:54,483 --> 00:13:56,654
-as we travel through time!
-[rattling]
295
00:13:56,655 --> 00:13:59,793
[whistles]
Alright, Wiggly, you're up!
296
00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:02,586
[barks, pants]
297
00:14:05,862 --> 00:14:07,724
[panting]
298
00:14:08,241 --> 00:14:09,379
Ooh!
299
00:14:10,034 --> 00:14:11,517
[barking]
300
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,619
[zapping]
301
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,068
Welcome, citizens,
302
00:14:14,206 --> 00:14:18,896
to the 100th birthday
of Bikini Bottom's oldest
303
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,620
and most venerated skyscraper!
304
00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:24,379
[cheering]
305
00:14:24,517 --> 00:14:27,034
To kick off
our celebration today,
306
00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:29,965
we'll be unearthing
a time capsule
307
00:14:30,068 --> 00:14:33,068
from beneath this majestic
and inspiring landmark
308
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:37,034
that will surely be here for
another hundred years to come.
309
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:41,206
Now, let's see
that time capsule!
310
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:43,068
Sure thing, boss!
311
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,034
Time capsule time!
312
00:14:48,103 --> 00:14:49,896
[grunts] Aha!
313
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:53,000
[electricity powering down]
314
00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:56,793
Oopsy daisy!
Let's try that again.
315
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,689
[grunts] Aha!
316
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,793
Wrong again!
317
00:15:02,827 --> 00:15:04,310
Third time's the charm.
318
00:15:08,103 --> 00:15:09,931
[cheering]
319
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,413
Huh? Oh!
320
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:16,275
I'm comin', Canny!
321
00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:19,241
Sweet Neptune!
What's on your face?
322
00:15:19,689 --> 00:15:21,896
[gasps] It's on me too!
323
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,206
Get it off! Get it off!
324
00:15:24,207 --> 00:15:25,309
[groans]
325
00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:27,586
-Ah, that's better!
-[groans]
326
00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:30,241
-[groans]
-[groans]
327
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:31,586
[groans]
328
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:36,413
Oh my. Looks like everything
in the time capsule
329
00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:38,482
has turned to dust...
330
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,482
Eh.
Except this old, beat-up can.
331
00:15:42,413 --> 00:15:44,068
Canny!
332
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:46,620
Sweet Neptune!
333
00:15:46,758 --> 00:15:50,827
This is an antique,
solid lead kicking can!
334
00:15:50,828 --> 00:15:53,309
Oh, they only produced
this model for six months
335
00:15:53,310 --> 00:15:54,965
because it was sotoxic!
336
00:15:55,103 --> 00:15:59,724
[gasps] This can
is so rare and valuable,
337
00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:03,310
it belongs in the Bikini Bottom
Cultural Museum!
338
00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:04,463
[gasps]
339
00:16:04,517 --> 00:16:06,000
Is it really...?
340
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:09,827
? dramatic music playing ?
341
00:16:09,931 --> 00:16:12,413
It is! It's Canny!
342
00:16:12,517 --> 00:16:15,827
They finally dug up ol' Canny!
343
00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:19,862
Ooh, and he's worth
a lotta moolah now!
344
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:22,827
Listen up!
I can make us all rich
345
00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:25,103
beyond our wildest dreams!
346
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:27,172
But I need your help.
347
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:30,448
Say, is this one
of those phone scams
348
00:16:30,551 --> 00:16:32,827
my granddaughter
warned me about?
349
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,689
I'll go get my credit card!
350
00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:36,931
No, Hoops!
351
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:40,137
It's GrandPat,
and this ain't no scam,
352
00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,896
it's a scheme!
353
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,413
[all] Ooh!
354
00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:45,586
Remember Canny?
355
00:16:45,655 --> 00:16:47,310
[all sadly] Yeah.
356
00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:49,172
Well, they dug him up!
357
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:50,482
[all] Ooh!
358
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:53,206
And he's worth a fortune!
359
00:16:53,310 --> 00:16:54,379
[all] Wow!
360
00:16:54,482 --> 00:16:56,724
They're gonna put him
in the museum,
361
00:16:56,827 --> 00:16:59,206
but I say we break in there
362
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:01,482
and take back
our rightful property.
363
00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:03,344
[Patrick and Squidina] GrandPat!
364
00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:04,896
Stealing is wrong,
365
00:17:05,034 --> 00:17:06,551
and you know that!
366
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:10,137
It ain't stealin'
if it was my can first!
367
00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:12,689
'Sides, you know what's worse
than stealing?
368
00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:14,551
Eavesdroppin'!
369
00:17:14,689 --> 00:17:15,739
GrandPat!
370
00:17:15,758 --> 00:17:17,379
...deserves privacy and respect
371
00:17:17,482 --> 00:17:18,965
while plotting, kids!
372
00:17:19,068 --> 00:17:23,000
You're grounded until GrandPat's
scheme comes to fruition!
373
00:17:23,103 --> 00:17:25,655
[both] Sorry, GrandPat.
374
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:26,827
GrandPat!
375
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:28,103
What now?!
376
00:17:28,104 --> 00:17:30,723
Just saying hi!
Hey, sweetie, what's for dinner?
377
00:17:30,724 --> 00:17:35,379
Well, we could do fajitas,
or borscht, or headcheese...
378
00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:37,379
This phone line is compromised!
379
00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:40,620
Meet me at "the location."
380
00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:44,000
Let's ride!
381
00:17:44,379 --> 00:17:47,172
? dramatic music playing ?
382
00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:55,551
Oh! My back!
383
00:17:55,689 --> 00:17:57,758
-Oh!
-Is fixed!
384
00:17:58,172 --> 00:17:59,241
Okay, everyone.
385
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:01,334
-Canny is in there!
-Canny is in there!
386
00:18:01,655 --> 00:18:03,862
The Kelpbed Kids?!
387
00:18:03,965 --> 00:18:06,862
Is that what I'm going
to look like when I'm old?
388
00:18:06,965 --> 00:18:08,241
Better believe it.
389
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:11,275
And you better not be here
for the can.
390
00:18:11,344 --> 00:18:13,586
Yeah? And why is that?
391
00:18:13,689 --> 00:18:15,862
'Cause we got it
all figured out.
392
00:18:16,310 --> 00:18:18,275
First we'll glide
onto the roof...
393
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:22,793
Make ourselves a skylight.
And after we're inside-
394
00:18:22,794 --> 00:18:25,136
-[record needle scratches]
-Quit this jibber-jabber!
395
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:27,275
Here is what we are gonna do.
396
00:18:28,862 --> 00:18:31,137
Wait until everyone
leaves at night
397
00:18:32,103 --> 00:18:34,103
and the artwork comes alive.
398
00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:37,931
? old time piano music playing ?
399
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,103
[evil laugh]
400
00:18:39,206 --> 00:18:41,241
Rescue Canny and then-
401
00:18:41,344 --> 00:18:43,758
[GrandPat] Mrs. Puff swipes
the can from you!
402
00:18:43,827 --> 00:18:46,357
[Lil GrandPat] What the-?!
Then we take him back!
403
00:18:47,413 --> 00:18:48,655
Oh yeah?!
404
00:18:48,758 --> 00:18:51,172
-Yeah!
-Oh yeah?!
405
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:53,965
-Yeah!
-Oh yeah?!
406
00:18:54,103 --> 00:18:56,620
[both grunting]
407
00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:59,586
That can is ours!
408
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,724
[fighting grunts]
409
00:19:03,034 --> 00:19:05,551
-[alarm blaring]
-Quick! Everybody split up!
410
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:10,793
Huh? That there sounded
like the Kelpbed Kids!
411
00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:14,551
Ooh!
Their shenanigans stop tonight!
412
00:19:14,552 --> 00:19:16,550
-[moaning]
-[bones rattling]
413
00:19:16,551 --> 00:19:18,517
? dramatic music playing ?
414
00:19:21,571 --> 00:19:23,516
[crash]
415
00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:25,448
[groaning]
416
00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:30,034
I don't think you're supposed
to touch that.
417
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:31,896
Oh, come on now.
418
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,965
See a penny, take a penny!
[snickers]
419
00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:39,448
-[gasps]
-[screaming]
420
00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:46,034
-[groans]
-Out of my way! Me first!
421
00:19:46,482 --> 00:19:49,034
Show some respect
to your elders, young man!
422
00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,344
Me first!
423
00:19:50,413 --> 00:19:52,551
-No. Me first!
-Me...
424
00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:54,199
-[muffled] ...first!
-[gasps]
425
00:19:54,241 --> 00:19:56,310
Wow!
426
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,827
Wait a minute.
427
00:20:03,689 --> 00:20:07,482
On second thought, after you!
428
00:20:07,551 --> 00:20:09,344
Oh, thank you, kind sir.
429
00:20:09,448 --> 00:20:10,517
[grunts]
430
00:20:11,413 --> 00:20:14,965
Where are my manners?
[chuckles] After you, sir.
431
00:20:15,034 --> 00:20:17,204
-Well, thank you, Sonny.
-[alarm wailing]
432
00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:20,448
-But I insist. After you.
-But I insist. After you.
433
00:20:20,862 --> 00:20:23,344
-Don't mind if I do.
-[alarm blaring]
434
00:20:23,448 --> 00:20:25,620
[grunts] After you.
435
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,172
-[crashes]
-[GrandPat] No. After you!
436
00:20:28,793 --> 00:20:30,379
[Lil GrandPat] After you!
437
00:20:30,793 --> 00:20:32,172
[both] After me!
438
00:20:34,137 --> 00:20:36,379
It's after us!
439
00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:38,551
[screams]
440
00:20:39,068 --> 00:20:40,172
Huh?
441
00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:41,360
[groans]
442
00:20:42,413 --> 00:20:44,413
[whimpering, screaming]
443
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,517
[all screaming]
444
00:20:51,482 --> 00:20:54,758
Alright! I've caught
you two whippersnappers!
445
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,793
It's time to face the music.
446
00:20:56,896 --> 00:20:59,103
You've left me
with no choice but to...
447
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:00,344
[shivering]
448
00:21:00,448 --> 00:21:02,931
...call your parents!
449
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,275
I'm sure they'll give ya
a stern talking-to.
450
00:21:06,413 --> 00:21:09,103
[phone ringing]
451
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,931
Huh. Well, it looks like
you got lucky this time.
452
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,827
-[both] Phew!
-But don't let it happen again!
453
00:21:18,275 --> 00:21:20,620
Well, it's not so bad.
454
00:21:20,621 --> 00:21:21,654
Yeah.
455
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,965
[both] Still got the can!
456
00:21:24,482 --> 00:21:25,827
[grunts angrily]
457
00:21:25,931 --> 00:21:29,586
I guess there's only one way
to settle this.
458
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:34,000
One game.
Kick the can. Winner takes all.
459
00:21:34,103 --> 00:21:37,448
And may the best GrandPat win.
460
00:21:38,034 --> 00:21:39,862
Let's see what you got!
461
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,068
[grunting]
462
00:21:41,069 --> 00:21:42,067
[rustles]
463
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:43,310
[grunts] Huh?
464
00:21:43,448 --> 00:21:45,448
? old time music playing ?
465
00:21:53,655 --> 00:21:55,344
[all laughing]
466
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:57,068
Ooh, me! I got it!
467
00:21:57,172 --> 00:21:59,137
[all laughing]
468
00:21:59,138 --> 00:22:01,378
-[shatters]
-[GrandPat] Uh-oh.
469
00:22:01,379 --> 00:22:03,896
[Lil GrandPat] Quick!
Let's cheese it!
470
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,413
[Old Officer Murphy]
Kelpbed Kids!
471
00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:09,413
??
472
00:22:09,463 --> 00:22:14,013
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