Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Patrick Star! And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad!

This is my mom!

Woo-hoo! [giggles]

This is my sister!

She's shy.

This is my grandpa!

This is my room!

And this...

This is my show!

[classical music plays]

[snoring]

Good morning, Ouchie!

[classical music continues]

Someone needs a cushion fluffing!

And I've got your favorite dish!

[happy noise]

Let's get those spineys nice and shiny.

And how about a massage for our very favorite urchin?

[sighs]

[thud]

And a little crown!

For the best Ouchie in town!

You're so cute!

-And safe! -And dry!

[Squidina] And loved!

[terrifying music]

[growling stomach]

-[grunts] -[toy squeaks]

[evil laugh]

Let's go get Ouchie some more treats.

Okay!

[slurps]

Ah?

[pants]

[squeaks]

[thud]

Let's go!

[playful music plays]

[groans]

[classical music plays]

-[squeaks] -[growls]

[Ouchie grunts]

[both grunting and panting]

[Ouchie grunts]

[grunts]

[growls]

[fast playful music plays]

Oh!

[triumphant music plays]

[Ouchie growls]

Oh, Ouchie!

Aye aye aye!

What in the Great Barrier Reef happened here?

Ouchie, did you do all this?

[sad growl]

[rapid growling]

[Cecil sighs]

Sorry, Ouchie,

but naughty urchins get put outside.

[Patrick sobs]

[Patrick cries]

I'm so angry!

I need to take a long reckless drive!

[growling]

[evil laugh]

[angry growling]

[moans]

Oh!

-[Pinkeye coughs] -Oh! No!

I hit a poor, defenseless sea-bunny!

Hold on! I'll save you!

Stay with me lil' guy! Stay with me!

[growling]

[heroic music playing]

[sad growl]

A sea-bunny down!

[all] Oh! A sea-bunny?

Let me see, let me see, let me see!

[moving music plays]

[all] Aw!

He's adorable!

Okay, sea-bunny,

you'll just have to live here and let us spoil you

back to health!

[Squidina] How about a nice cushion fluffing?

[Bunny] And some special treats!

[Cecil] And a nice, relaxing massage!

[Squidina] And a little crown!

[Patrick] For the best sea-bunny in town!

And now that you're cute and safe and loved

it's time for the Star family to have their dinner!

[all giggle excitedly]

[Bunny] Let's eat!

[happy noises]

Mmm.

Oh. [giggles]

Sorry, little buddy, this is people food,

not sea-bunny food.

[angry growling]

Yes, sea-bunny, eat this!

It's really good, see?

[grunts]

[scary music plays]

[squeaks]

[all] Oh!

[all] Mine, mine, mine, mine!

Mine, mine, mine!

[all moan in pain]

Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

[giggles] I got it, I got it!

[squeaks]

Oh, barnacles.

Well, at least we're imprisoned as a family.

Beh, if we're all stuck down here forever,

we gotta start adapting.

Now, who do we eat first?

I'm the youngest, so it shouldn't be me.

-I'm too pretty to eat. -And I'm mostly mustache.

Agh! This is a serious matter that must be decided seriously.

We'll do it with a children's board game!

[sad howling]

[strains]

[sad music playing]

[cries]

Gotcha! Next stop, the pound.

[suspenseful music plays]

[sighs] I love my job.

[desperate growls]

[angry growling]

I'm here too.

[scary music plays]

Ooh!

[honk]

Ah!

I hate my job.

[cheering]

No, no, go on without me.

I'm too much of a menace to society.

[cheering]

[playful music plays]

[growls]

-[mumbling voice on phone] -[Pinkeye] Mmm.

Let me get a... [mumbles]

[doorbell rings]

-[growling] -[screams]

Ah!

[frantic grunting]

[alarm blaring]

[evil laugh]

[sad grunt]

[sighs]

[Ouchie cries]

[soft growl]

[sad growling]

[melancholic music plays]

[grunting]

[growling]

Ah?

[panting]

[happy scream]

[evil laugh]

[suspenseful music plays]

[angry growling]

Ah! Ah! Ah!

[strains]

[alarm blaring]

[evil laugh]

[Ouchie] Oh!

[suspenseful music plays]

[growls]

Ah! Ah! Uh! Ah! Uh!

[evil laugh]

Ah?

Woah.

[whistles]

[excited growling]

[grunts]

[Ouchie growls]

[whistles]

[laughs]

Uh-oh!

[growling]

[nervous laughter]

[Ouchie growls]

Ah!

Well, son, since you didn't make it

to candy castle, we're all gonna eat you.

Makes sense.

Now, who wants dark meat?

Ooh, ooh! I do, I do!

[all] Huh?

[all] Ouchie!

[growls]

[all] Huh?

[all growling]

[all grunting and shouting]

Oh, Ouchie!

I'm sorry for ever doubting you.

You and your friends saved us from that naughty sea-bunny.

[all cheering]

[moans]

Hey, Bunky.

You're just in time for dinner.

Bon app�tit!

[sighs]

[squeaks]

[heroic music playing]

Live from Bikini Bottom Stadium,

it's football!

I love football!

[Perch] Football indeed.

Looks like we have a kicker at the 50-yard line.

What a game!

Woo-hoo!

Go, team!

We're number three!

We're number three!

We're number three!

Oh. Aren't there only two teams?

We're number... Ooh!

Well, son, that reminds me of a joke.

Would you like to hear it?

Sure, whatev-

Oh, well, your loss.

What are you doing?

Um, well...

Morning, Patrick!

Are you ready for today's show?

Shut that door!

[startles]

What's going on, Bunny?

You seem jumpy.

Oh, well, it's just...

Every 20 years, on the day of the big game,

a comet known as the "Dadsteroid"

passes over Bikini Bottom, unleashing an ancient plague.

If you laugh at a dad joke...

Hey-o!

[laughs] Working hard or hardly working?

[Bunny] ... or even giggle...

[laughs]

[grunts]

[screams]

[moans]

[screams]

[Bunny] ... you become a dad!

He-he-hey!

Working hard or hardly working, huh?

[thunder]

That's awful! What can we do?

All we can do is hide until the big game is over.

It's not safe to...

[Cecil] Who wants some barbecue and a joke?

[drooling]

Ancient plague or not, I need a game day grilled boot,

otherwise I'll starve!

Ditto!

Mmm. Your father does leave the grill

to use the bathroom during the commercial break,

and you can tell a commercial break is coming

when he says his one special phrase.

[Cecil] Well, I gotta see a man about a seahorse.

[Squidina] Oh!

Ah! The special phrase!

Ah! He said it! We gotta go!

Go, go! Now, now!

[Cecil hums]

Go! Go! Go!

[suspenseful music plays]

[all grunt]

[humming]

[growls]

Om nom nom nom!

We now return to the big game!

Ah!

Wh-where?

Up there!

[Patrick strains]

[Squidina] Woah!

Hurry, Mom, come on!

Save yourselves!

Hey, Bunny!

Yes, hon?

Why is the calendar afraid?

I-I don't know, dear!

Why is the calendar afraid?

Well, Hun-bun, it's funny.

It's because its days are numbered!

[laughs]

Oh, get it?

[laughs]

Its days are numbered!

[hysterical laughter]

[groans]

[scary music plays]

Ah!

Ah!

[evil laugh]

Squidina!

-[Squidina screams] -I'm scared!

Me too, Patrick!

[Grandpat] What are you whippersnappers

always screaming about?

[both] Grandpat!

[scary music plays]

Do grandpa jokes count as dad jokes?

I guess we're about to find out.

Oh, it's jokes you want?

What do you call someone who rides a penny farthing

with just one wheel?

A little short on cents!

I don't get it.

Me neither.

Of course we don't get it, Patrick!

Grandpat is too old!

No one gets his jokes!

[Cecil and Bunny] Oh, kids, where are you?

Oh, what now?

Everybody's always yelling in this confounded house!

[both scream]

Quick, hide.

Squidina, I'm stuck!

Stop me if you've heard this one!

If you're American in the living room...

Cover your ears. Hurry!

And American in the dining room...

What are you in the bathroom?

Oh, European!

[Grandpat laughs]

[grunts]

[suspenseful music plays]

[whirring]

Oh, no! They're using

their dad handyman skills!

We're goners!

Hello, goners!

We're Dad!

[screaming]

[screaming]

We've got to find someone undadified and-

[dad 1] I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me!

What was that?

[Squidina and Patrick] Dad babies?

What?

Dad snails?

Huh?

Dad Squidw-

[Patrick] Wait, that actually kind of suits him.

[dads laughing]

[Squidina and Patrick] Dadpocalypse!

We're doomed.

Daddy doomed.

[Sandy] Hello? Hello?

Anybody there?

Your clothes can talk?

[Sandy] Hello?

Oh, that's my transistor radio!

Is there anyone out there who has not been dadified yet?

This is Sandy Cheeks

broadcasting on the Emergency Bikini Network.

All non-dads should report to the Bikini Bottom Mall

immediately for safe haven.

To the shopping mall!

Ouch.

Uh-oh.

How are we going to get through all these dads?

We're going to have to blend in.

This ought to do the trick.

And we'll plug our ears while we're at it.

Now, let's do you.

Okay, let's move.

[dad 2] Money doesn't grow on trees.

Don't make eye contact. Just keep moving.

Just a little dab'll do ya.

Ask your mother.

Don't make me turn this car around.

[both panting]

There's nobody here.

Where's the pretzel stand?

I'm not totally sure.

I want a pretzel!

And a little cup of cheese to dip into.

Not now, Patrick.

We have to avoid all distractions.

-Otherwise, we... -[screaming]

Uh, Sandy?

Prepare to be saturated

by a delicate blend of lavender and jasmine.

Yay!

I feel like a beautiful flower.

Wait a minute.

Dads are supposed to run for their lives

from this sort of fragrance.

Huh.

Patrick and Squidina?

Sorry to spray ya. I thought you two were dads.

[giggles] We must be the only non-dads left.

You know something?

This mustache reminds me of my pappy.

And that dumb joke he tells all the time.

[imitating dad] Hey, Sandy.

What does a bee use to comb his hair?

A honeycomb!

[laughs]

[grunts]

[scary music plays]

Why did the lobster blush?

[both] Sandy, no!

Cause he saw the ocean's bottom.

[laughs]

[scream]

[Squidina and Patrick scream]

[Squidina] Oh, no.

We've run right into a giant dad bowl.

Hey, what's that strange football-shaped object

coming at us?

It's a football.

-Uh-oh, we've got company. -Ah?

Uh-oh.

[vendor] Hot dogs and a joke.

[both] Huh?

Get your hot dogs and a joke!

Hot dogs?

-Here. -Are you for real?

[Squidina] Oh!

Hut hut hut!

Folks, if this game wasn't exciting enough,

now there's a helpless little girl

fleeing for her life on the gridiron.

I've never been more proud to be a dad.

Same.

[screams]

[Perch] Just look at her go!

Hey, did you hear the one about-

No!

Go team!

[Perch] Down to six seconds.

And she's passing the 20-yard line!

[Perch] Touchdown!

Yay, Squidina!

Amazing!

The Dadsteroid has been knocked off

its regular course and into the infinite blackness of space.

Well, it looks like our dad nightmare is finally over.

[boom]

Huh?

What the heck is that?

Hello, this is Sandy Cheeks

broadcasting on the Emergency Bikini Bottom Network.

A Mommet is passing over us.

If a mom asks you to go shopping, just say no.

Yes, Mom, I love shopping.

[playful music plays]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0