Original subtitles

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom. [laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

? ?

This is my show!

? ?

[groans] Ooh!

And what a show it is!

Oh.

We got bits on bits.

We got more jokes than

your eye sockets can handle.

[horn honking]

[bell dings] And we've got...

terror!

[giggles] Just kidding.

[all cheer]

For our first bit, we just need an idea.

And where do ideas come from?

Well, idea bricks, of course.

[accordion rasping]

[groaning]

An idea.

Unicycle juggling!

[carnival music]

all: Ooh.

- [muttering happily]

Time for another idea.

[buzzer blares]

[groans]

[cuckoo clock chiming]

Ice sculpting!

[wind whistles]

Ooh.

[buzzer blares]

Cow milking!

[bagpipes bleating]

[cow moos angrily]

[all cheering]

- Wow! Six lawnies?

We're doing numbers.

Keep those ideas coming, Patrick.

[bell dinging weakly]

- Huh?

[machine coughs]

[grunting]

How about a disappearing trick?

[muttering nervously]

- What gives, Patrick?

Where's the next segment?

- We're all out of idea bricks!

- We're what?

We need that brain of yours to get an idea, pronto.

- Maybe we got brick-shaped props that can help.

[grunts] No.

[grunts] Still nothing.

[grunts] - Sorry about that.

- [groans nervously]

- We'll just have to make our own idea brick.

But first...

Patrick will be right back. [chuckles nervously]

I-in the meantime, please welcome, uh...

Mr. Cymbals!

[chuckles nervously]

[cymbals clanking]

[all cheering]

According to this recipe book,

the main ingredient in bricks is sand.

- Oh, oh, oh!

I think have at least a foot of sand

in my ear.

[playful music]

- Now for the ideas part.

? ?

- Hey, I was reading that to Tinkle.

[book roars]

[book whimpers]

[mixer whirrs]

[timer dings]

- The brick is ready.

I think we cooked it too long.

It looks bad.

[malevolent laughter]

[ominous music]

We should probably throw this one-

- At my head.

[triumphant music]

- Eh.

? ?

Uh!

[crashing and shattering]

[playful music]

- [groaning]

- Any ideas?

- I've got an idea, all right.

A bad idea.

[cymbal clanging, lawnies cheering]

- Wait. What's your bad...

[grunts] Idea?

- Just watch.

[giggling sinisterly]

Hey, Tiny, I thought you had to have muscles

to wear a muscle shirt.

- [growling]

Gammy, he hurt my feelings.

[bawling] - Aw, Gammy will fix it, hon.

- [chuckles maliciously]

And as for you-

oh!

[groans]

That wasa bad idea.

- Ah, let's go see if we can fix that idea brick machine.

[cymbals crashing, lawnies cheering]

- We just need one more idea brick!

[gasps] Like that one!

[brick gibbering]

both: Get it!

[grunting]

[bouncy music]

? ?

[bell dinging]

[horn bellows]

Whoa!

[groaning]

Hm?

Wow.

[chittering and warbling]

- [as Squidina] "Welcome to Randomland"?

Ugh, this place is weird.

- [as Patrick] How do you figure?

both: Huh?

[yelping]

- Now let's go find that brick.

- Patrick, you can't just run around randomly

in Randomland.

What does this sign say?

Of course.

[brick gibbering]

Look, Patrick, it's the brick.

After him!

[both panting]

[both yelling]

[brick panting]

- Hey! Anyone here see a brick?

- No, but maybe my roommate has.

- Are you looking for a brick?

- Ah, yeah.

I heard about bricks once.

- Uh, are you guys talking about bricks in here?

all: Brick, brick, brick... - There's something weird

going on here.

all: Brick, brick, brick... - But I can't figure out what.

- [panting]

[doorbell rings] Hello?

Have you seen a walking brick around here?

- Ooh! Is it rectangular?

- Yes.

- Red?

- Yes.

- And full of ideas?

- Yes! Have you seen it?

- No.

[laughs]

- Whoa! [screams]

- [chuckling]

This place is so much fun.

- Yeah, but we still haven't found that idea brick.

We need some new ideas, like-

[loud clank] - Edible shoes!

- [grunts] With a side of inedible socks!

- [grunts] Musical paint!

[brick gibbering]

- Found you! - [grunts]

- Nothing but net.

[laughs]

[brick gibbering]

The "li-bary"! - Shh!

- Oh, sorry.

[quietly] The "li-bary."

[muttering nervously]

[birds chirping]

Here, bricky, bricky, brick.

[both gasp]

[bird squawking]

[bricks gibbering]

both: Idea bricks have mothers?

[birds chirping]

- What's she doing?

- Whoa!

[whimpering]

- She's consuming knowledge.

[whistle blows]

- And laying idea bricks!

So that's where idea bricks come from.

- If we nab that bird,

we'll never run out of idea bricks again.

Come on!

[both mutter excitedly]

- [yelping]

[bird squawking]

- Okay, we got to get this bird home.

Luckily, I came up with a great idea.

We glue a bunch of books together as bait for the bird,

and then we- - [gulps]

- That's okay, 'cause I got a real sneaky plan

where we can-

[screams]

She can eat through thoughts too?

How do you kidnap a giant bird if you can't even think about?

- Don't worry, Squidina, I've got an idea!

- Uh, I don't know, Pat-

- Okay, here it goes.

Uh...

[dial-up modem whirs and cranks]

- [coughs] - Uh...

[static hisses]

[groaning] - [retching]

- Almost there.

[groaning]

Huh? - Your lack of coherent ideas

starved the bird of nutrients.

Good job, Patrick.

- Ha, thanks.

I couldn't have done it without me.

Now let's fly home.

[engine puttering]

- [sighing]

- Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him, Horatio.

[engine puttering]

[loud crash]

- Now back to the show!

- [grunts] Aah!

- [grunts]

- And we're back!

[all groan]

We got new and improved ideas.

Ready?

Three, two...

[bird squawking]

[all exclaim]

- Friends...

- Romans...

- Countrymen...

- Lend me your ears.

- Hey, Idea Bird, those are my ideas!

[grunting]

[bird squawking]

- Mobile toilets.

- Quantum clowning.

- Come back with my ideas!

- I got an idea.

The end.

[bright music]

- Ah! [grunts]

Welcome back to "The Patrick Show."

Next up, we have a little segment

called You Can't Do That.

[straining]

[loud crash] [all scream]

Today, I'll be jumping from this diving board

into that pitcher of water below.

[all gasp]

all: You can't do that!

- I'm gonna do it.

- Patrick, stop. We never rehearsed this.

There are protocols.

You can't do that!

all: You can't do that!

- We don't have the right insurance.

The pitcher is too small!

- Everything looks smaller from up here.

It's fine.

- I'm gonna cancel this segment!

all: You can't do that!

- Oh, yes, I can.

- [grunts]

Yah! [laughing]

- [screams]

- Whee!

[all gasp]

- [whimpers]

Huh?

- I guess he cando that.

[all cheer]

- Please don't encourage this.

- [groaning]

- All right. Our next segment is safer.

Viewer Mail!

[all cheering] - Viewer Mail!

- And we only got one letter. [chuckles nervously]

- [muffled straining] - So let's hope it's good.

It's from the Bikini Bottom Bureau of Education.

all: Ooh.

- "Dear Patrick Star, this is to inform you

"that you never passed behavioral skills

"in kindergarten.

"We suggest you complete your education right away

"and desist from any current professional activity

"such as surgery, emergency rescue,

and TV hosting."

TV hosting?

all: They can't do that!

- It says here they can.

"Since you're older than the average kindergartener,

we recommend that you be homeschooled."

lawnies: Ooh.

- [straining] Doo!

What's homeschooled?

- Folks, don't touch that dial.

We'll be right back after Patrick passes

behavioral skills classes.

Please stand by. [tone blares]

[bell ringing]

- Wha?

- Good morning, young student.

Class is now in session.

Have a seat.

Wait!

We almost forgot to say the pledge!

[stately music]

? ?

Please join me in the Pledge of Aggrievance.

I pledge aggrievance to the gag,

and to the lopsided plate of "hysterica,"

and to the cowlick, which I can't stand,

once shaven... - Shave!

- Extra odd... - Log!

- With publicity and injustice for all.

? ?

Please be seated.

Eh, no, in your chair.

[buzzer blares] Not like that.

[buzzer blares] Nope.

[buzzer blares] Nuh-uh.

[buzzer blares] Try again.

[bell dinging] There we go.

So we're here to learn good behavior skills.

Let's see what you already know.

What do we do when we have to sneeze?

- We take a tissue,

we sneeze... [sneezes]

And then we wipe.

- Uh, okay, we'll circle back to that one.

How do you use one of these?

- Oh, I know this one!

[gulping]

[stomach rumbles]

- [groans]

- I don't get it.

It works when SpongeBob does it.

[flute ditty]

- All right, then.

Next, show me how you brush your teeth.

- You got it!

Brush-a, brush-a, brush-a.

I brush my teeth every night.

[gulps, snickers]

[dramatic musical sting]

- Oh, boy.

[bell ringing]

- Huh?

- Our next lesson is lunchroom etiquette.

- Lunch?

- Granny Tentacles was nice enough to volunteer.

- For 20 bucks!

Hmm.

[sniffs]

All right, big boy, what'll it be?

- I'll take everything!

- Uh, uh, uh. You forgot the magic words.

- [gasps] Oh, yeah.

With cheese.

- Ah, close enough.

[grunts]

- [muttering excitedly]

[munching noisily]

- Ahem.

Don't forget your utensils.

- Yes, Ma.

[munching noisily]

[vacuum whirring]

[gagging]

- Eat with your mouth closed, dear.

- Um, okay.

Hm.

- And what do we do with the tray and silverware

when we're done?

- [munches]

- Oh, dear.

[bell ringing]

[martial music]

- On your feet, worm!

This is social etiquette training!

I will teach you how to speak to adults!

And you will address me as "Sir," got it?

- Aye, aye, Sir Got It.

? ?

- Now enter the room again,

but this time, knock!

- Wait, Sir Got It!

How many times do I knock?

- [weakly] Twice.

- Okay.

One, two.

- [grunts]

Now, what is the appropriate way to greet an elder?

- Um...

what's shaking, old timer?

- [chomps] Wrong!

Now show me how you give someone a compliment.

- I can't believe you're not dead.

- Final lesson!

What do you say before I slam the door in your face

so I can get me some shut-eye?

- Uh...

- [grunts]

- Oh, I got it!

Rest in peace.

[indistinct chatter and laughter]

- Okay, Patrick, the lawnies have agreed

to join you in your final class,

recess skills.

Remember, it's important to play nice with others.

Okay. Ready?

Go! - [laughing excitedly]

- One, two-

aah! - [laughing]

I win!

[laughing]

both: Ah! - I win.

- Oh, hey, Patrick.

A little help?

[suspenseful music]

? ?

Over here. Kick it back.

- [laughs]

[explosion reverberates]

- [grunts]

- Anyone else want to play?

[all whimpering]

[all screaming]

You're it!

- Ow!

- You're it!

- [grunts]

- Huh?

- [laughs]

[bowling pins crash]

You're it!

[laughing]

- Okay, let's see here.

[all groaning]

- It is I, Patrick,

ravager of playtime,

conqueror of recess!

- Meep.

- Patrick, how can anyone fail recess?

- Ugh. So I got one F.

What about the rest of my grades?

- Well, the F was actually your highest grade.

The rest were Z's.

You're basically a wild animal.

- [gnawing]

- [sighs]

[despondent music]

? ?

- Hey, where are we going?

- D-d-don't worry, son. We're almost there.

- I'm sorry, Patrick.

We just can't keep you.

You're not domesticated.

- This is your natural habitat.

You'll be free here.

You'll love it.

[all choking up] - I'm sorry, son.

Y-you're just not fit to live amongst us civilized folk.

- [whimpers]

- Just go!

- Okay! [laughing wildly]

[car engine starts]

- [whimpers]

- [chuckles]

[creatures snarling] Hm?

[whimpering]

- Huh? What the-

Patrick?

But how did you-

when did you-

[stately music]

[gibbering]

? ?

- Wow. Thank you.

What a gentleman.

And handsome too.

[all exclaim]

[gasps] You cleaned the whole house!

- Well, in light of these recent developments,

a new grade is in order-

if you can pass the final test.

He's housebroken!

A-plus.

[toilet flushes]

- Oh, congratulations, big brother.

Now we can do your show again!

- But how did you learn to behave so quickly?

[somber music]

- Oh, do you think he'll be all right?

He was pretty wild when we got him.

- We taught him well.

He needs to be with his own kind now.

? ?

- Time for bed. Good night, everyone.

all: Good night.

- [howls]

- Ah, shut up! - [yelps]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0