Original subtitles

Here come the cavalry.

EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE

What the...?

Armed vehicle on its way. Let's go.

Brilliant work today, Private. Thanks, boss.

CHATTER

That's you off to Bastion? Mm-hm.

Mate, we've been summoned to the Ukraine.

So I just wondered maybe, you know, before we part,

if you wanted to see me when we get back to the UK?

No. No? Mm-mm. Nobody says no to me.

Two golden rules in life. One... Right.

..never go out with a soldier. Right. Right?

Two, never go out with a guy who's already taken, so...

Sorry.

Fair enough.

"Deb, I found the woman of my dreams on this tour.

"Think I've fallen in love with her.

"Therefore, you and I are no longer...

"..an item..."

Bit harsh.

I've only been out with her twice.

"..Elvis."

Press send.

Do your own dirty work.

MESSAGE SENDS

She would have got it by now.

Yeah, well, rule one still applies. You're a soldier. Sorry.

Oh, come on! You can't count Special Forces in that.

Rule one applies to squaddies only, surely.

SHE LAUGHS

All right, come on. Bullshit aside, I mean it.

See me when we get back to the UK.

Thing is, I'm exactly the wrong type for you, Elvis.

I have no intention of settling down, ever.

Ready? Yeah.

LAUGHS: No, I am not getting in that thing with you!

Come on. I'm not flying it.

One of my mates is putting in for his pilot's license

and needs to get some hours in. Now, don't worry. There is an instructor.

I've just asked them to drop us off somewhere. Where?

It's a magical mystery tour.

OK, so you think flying me off somewhere romantic

is going to woo me?

No. I know you're not that shallow.

I'm taking you to meet my Italian family.

We're going to Italy?

Hoddesdon. Deal with it.

CHATTER, LAUGHTER

HE SPEAKS ITALIAN

Tell me that wasn't the best meal you've ever had. It was...

It was the loudest.

SHE LAUGHS

So when did your family move over?

Let's see. My great-grandparents were Italian prisoners of war... Mm.

..moved over here to Hoddesdon.

After the war, they didn't want to go back, so here we all are.

That makes my Manchester roots look a bit dull.

No.

Not to me.

Look down there. What's that?

What? There. Fish it out. Have a look.

What, and risk getting Lyme's disease? I think you'll live.

Looks like one of those "message in a bottle" things. Fish it out.

Go on.

Hold this, please. Yeah.

And that. Thank you.

What do you reckon?

Turn around.

Bottle, please.

Thank you.

HE LAUGHS

What did you say? You'll never know.

HE LAUGHS

Mate!

Couldn't grab that bottle for us, could you?

Do you want me to pack these T-shirts?

They'll be creased before you get to Africa.

I'm so proud of you. I always wanted to... Yeah, I got to go.

Heading to the airport. See you in Ethiopia.

Inshallah. Got work to do.