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Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
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♪ She's Mrs Brown
Agnes
3
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♪ That's Mrs Brown
Agnes
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00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:26,564
♪ Our Mrs Brown. ♪
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00:00:26,565 --> 00:00:27,883
♪ Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Ooh, ooh
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00:00:27,884 --> 00:00:29,443
♪ Eh, eh, eh, eh
Ooh, ooh
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♪ Eh, eh, eh, eh
Ooh, ooh... ♪
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Heh heh heh.
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♪ La, la, la, la
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♪ La, la, la, la... ♪
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00:00:38,245 --> 00:00:39,925
Hello.
12
00:00:41,565 --> 00:00:44,645
You know, I always feel such a sense
of joy this day, every year.
13
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,667
It's my anniversary!
14
00:00:49,668 --> 00:00:51,948
27 years this year.
15
00:00:52,948 --> 00:00:55,027
Good morning, Winnie.
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Good morning! Happy anniversary!
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00:00:58,394 --> 00:00:59,833
Thank you, love.
18
00:00:59,834 --> 00:01:02,272
Do you know, it only
seems like yesterday. I know!
19
00:01:02,273 --> 00:01:05,154
I was behind you as you
walked down that aisle.
20
00:01:05,155 --> 00:01:06,993
And I looked past ya
21
00:01:06,994 --> 00:01:09,954
and I could see your Redser
in front of the altar...
22
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,314
in the coffin.
23
00:01:14,114 --> 00:01:15,714
Weren't the flowers beautiful?
24
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Oh, yeah.
25
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I think I'll treat meself this year.
26
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,272
A party? No, a trip away somewhere.
27
00:01:22,273 --> 00:01:25,832
Nowhere grand, you know, just maybe
Galway or the Isle of Man.
28
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:27,714
Galway Races are on next week.
29
00:01:27,715 --> 00:01:30,594
That's right, Winnie.
I could do that.
30
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,273
Hiya, Mammy. Hello, son.
31
00:01:34,274 --> 00:01:35,954
How are you, Mrs McGoogan?
32
00:01:35,955 --> 00:01:37,433
Hiya, Rory.
33
00:01:37,434 --> 00:01:40,233
You look very down, love.
What's wrong?
34
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,114
Did Take That break up again?
35
00:01:42,115 --> 00:01:44,793
Oh Mammy, don't say that!
36
00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:47,354
I'd ride that Gary Barlow.
37
00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,394
Did I say that out loud? Yes!
38
00:01:56,874 --> 00:01:58,593
It's poor Dino.
39
00:01:58,594 --> 00:02:01,832
He hates living in that hotel
since he lost his bedsit.
40
00:02:01,833 --> 00:02:04,312
Last week you said that you
already had an apartment.
41
00:02:04,313 --> 00:02:05,992
But that's what we thought.
42
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:09,472
Now the owner is saying
he's not sure if we can have it
for a couple of weeks.
43
00:02:09,473 --> 00:02:11,432
If it's only two weeks,
he can stay here.
44
00:02:11,433 --> 00:02:13,514
With Dermot gone
there's plenty of room.
45
00:02:13,515 --> 00:02:14,873
Really? Yes!
46
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Oh, that'd be fabulous!
47
00:02:16,834 --> 00:02:18,714
Is that the time already?
I'd better go.
48
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,434
And Rory, tell Dino I'll do
that thing for him.
49
00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:27,674
What's Winnie doing for Dino?
50
00:02:27,675 --> 00:02:31,113
I'm not sure,
I wasn't really listening.
51
00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:35,832
And Mammy, to thank you I'm going to
do something really special for ya.
52
00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:38,712
Oh, no, no.
There's no need... Well, yeah...
53
00:02:38,713 --> 00:02:41,194
I'm going to go in and
ring Dino now and tell him.
54
00:02:42,594 --> 00:02:44,752
Do you know,
I knew this was going to happen.
55
00:02:44,753 --> 00:02:46,352
Jimmy Gennochi said it would.
56
00:02:46,353 --> 00:02:48,314
Who the Jesus is Jimmy Gennochi?
57
00:02:48,315 --> 00:02:50,513
The psychic! He's amazing.
58
00:02:50,514 --> 00:02:52,914
I ring his psychic line once a week.
59
00:02:52,915 --> 00:02:55,554
He sees dead people.
60
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:03,394
He sees gobshites with credit cards!
61
00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:08,833
Hello.
62
00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:12,154
Is that Saint Mary of the Universe,
Home for the Bewildered?
63
00:03:12,155 --> 00:03:13,834
Sorry, Elderly.
64
00:03:15,474 --> 00:03:17,392
Yes. I'm enquiring about the cost of
65
00:03:17,393 --> 00:03:19,394
putting a man in there
for two weeks.
66
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,473
Yes, well, I...
67
00:03:22,474 --> 00:03:23,874
Yes, I'll hold.
68
00:03:25,394 --> 00:03:27,473
Winnie, I'm on hold.
69
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:31,394
I'm trying to find somewhere to put
the man that God forgot...
70
00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:35,273
when I have me break.
71
00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:36,474
Put the kettle on.
72
00:03:37,514 --> 00:03:39,033
Hello, yes?
73
00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:41,634
I was speaking to
one of your colleagues...
74
00:03:42,914 --> 00:03:45,393
Yes, concerning
the financial...
75
00:03:45,394 --> 00:03:47,074
Yes, I'll hold.
76
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:49,874
Spend me feckin' day on hold!
77
00:03:50,994 --> 00:03:52,913
Hello, yes.
78
00:03:52,914 --> 00:03:56,234
Well, no, what I was trying to...
How long am I on hold?
79
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,553
Well, let me see...
80
00:03:57,554 --> 00:04:00,352
I was ringing about putting
somebody into your home.
81
00:04:00,353 --> 00:04:02,914
But actually, I've been so long
on hold he's fuckin' dead!
82
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,392
That's the fourth home
I've called this morning.
83
00:04:14,393 --> 00:04:16,674
I can't believe
the prices they're charging.
84
00:04:16,675 --> 00:04:18,313
For that kind of money,
85
00:04:18,314 --> 00:04:20,594
he can go to Galway, I'll stay
in the fuckin' home.
86
00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:24,114
Why? How much? Too much!
87
00:04:25,154 --> 00:04:27,032
I'll never get away
for this feckin' trip!
88
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:30,754
Of course you will!
Someone will take him for two weeks.
89
00:04:34,034 --> 00:04:35,513
Not me!
90
00:04:35,514 --> 00:04:39,234
I mean, I would, but Jacko could come
out of hospital any day, Agnes.
91
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:40,954
Of course he could.
92
00:04:44,314 --> 00:04:46,712
I can't believe
the price they charge.
93
00:04:46,713 --> 00:04:49,152
You know, the Heaven's Gate home
is cheap.
94
00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:51,994
But that's because they found
Legionnaires disease there.
95
00:04:51,995 --> 00:04:53,273
Did they?
96
00:04:53,274 --> 00:04:55,474
Grandad, pack your feckin' bags!
97
00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:59,074
It's Bonanza Construction!
98
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:01,833
What do you want?
99
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:05,312
Right, Mrs Brown, it's time to
pick your sink and your taps.
100
00:05:05,313 --> 00:05:06,952
Am I on some kind of budget here?
101
00:05:06,953 --> 00:05:10,234
Doesn't matter what the price says,
you pick out whichever one you want.
102
00:05:10,235 --> 00:05:12,033
Oooh.
103
00:05:12,034 --> 00:05:13,272
Oh, I like that one.
104
00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:14,314
No, not that one.
105
00:05:15,514 --> 00:05:17,153
That's a nice one.
106
00:05:17,154 --> 00:05:18,874
No, they're very unreliable.
107
00:05:18,875 --> 00:05:20,553
An unreliable sink?
108
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,874
Well, you wouldn't want
an unreliable sink.
109
00:05:22,875 --> 00:05:24,194
No, you wouldn't.
110
00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:29,713
What about that one?
111
00:05:29,714 --> 00:05:31,473
No. That one?
112
00:05:31,474 --> 00:05:32,673
Nah.
113
00:05:32,674 --> 00:05:34,913
That one?
114
00:05:34,914 --> 00:05:36,272
What about that one?
115
00:05:36,273 --> 00:05:40,314
Now, you'd think that one was good,
but they suffer from tin worm.
116
00:05:44,034 --> 00:05:45,394
Tin worm.
117
00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,432
Which one would you recommend?
118
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,434
Well, now, it's up to you.
Keep looking.
119
00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:54,472
What about this one here?
120
00:05:54,473 --> 00:05:57,114
The one with the big red circle
round it and the X beside it?
121
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,754
Great choice!
122
00:06:02,354 --> 00:06:04,634
Right, Buffalo Bill,
unload the sink.
123
00:06:05,594 --> 00:06:07,632
You'll like it, Mrs Brown,
it's a lovely sink.
124
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,152
Fine. I'm sure it will be fine.
125
00:06:09,153 --> 00:06:10,752
I'll tell Billy the Kid,
the plumber.
126
00:06:10,753 --> 00:06:12,152
When you going to start this job?
127
00:06:12,153 --> 00:06:14,392
Well, I have Jesse James
the spark starting Friday.
128
00:06:14,393 --> 00:06:17,432
And we'll be in to do the wiring
first thing on Monday. I'll see ya.
129
00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:20,272
Jesse James?
They're all very peculiar names!
130
00:06:20,273 --> 00:06:22,594
There's a lot of cowboys in this
business, Mrs Brown.
131
00:06:23,914 --> 00:06:25,274
Ye-ha!
132
00:06:28,074 --> 00:06:30,514
I can't believe
he did that fuckin' joke!
133
00:06:32,034 --> 00:06:34,912
You know, it's a pity Dr Flynn
can't sort something out
134
00:06:34,913 --> 00:06:36,592
for Grandad for a couple of weeks.
135
00:06:36,593 --> 00:06:39,034
Jesus, Winnie, you might
have something there.
136
00:06:40,114 --> 00:06:41,994
I think I need to call me a doctor!
137
00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:53,272
And I've been very tired
in the mornings, you know?
138
00:06:53,273 --> 00:06:55,394
What with looking after Grandad.
139
00:06:55,395 --> 00:06:59,273
Patient, Agnes Brown.
140
00:06:59,274 --> 00:07:00,434
Age?
141
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,393
Fine.
142
00:07:03,394 --> 00:07:06,393
Everybody needs a break, I suppose.
143
00:07:06,394 --> 00:07:08,514
Especially when you're
looking after Grandad.
144
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,914
Weight? 145 pounds.
145
00:07:11,994 --> 00:07:14,674
That's cos I'm run down,
you know, looking after Grandad.
146
00:07:14,675 --> 00:07:17,554
175 pounds.
147
00:07:20,594 --> 00:07:21,833
Height?
148
00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:23,274
5 foot 10.
149
00:07:26,954 --> 00:07:29,233
5 foot 3.
150
00:07:29,234 --> 00:07:32,034
I do shrink in me sleep,
that's cos of the stress.
151
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,673
Grandad.
152
00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:35,794
I need to take your pressure,
Mrs Brown.
153
00:07:35,795 --> 00:07:37,553
I knew this was coming.
154
00:07:37,554 --> 00:07:39,314
You see, what I think...
155
00:07:47,394 --> 00:07:48,673
Oh, I'm sorry.
156
00:07:48,674 --> 00:07:51,392
What I could really do with is
Grandad going into hospital for
157
00:07:51,393 --> 00:07:52,912
a couple of weeks' respite care.
158
00:07:52,913 --> 00:07:55,194
Respite care's only given
to the really needy.
159
00:07:55,195 --> 00:07:56,874
I'm really needy.
160
00:07:57,874 --> 00:07:59,954
I'm really needy of a weeky breaky.
161
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,833
Your blood pressure's quite high.
162
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:07,514
Are you surprised? I was tall
and slim before you got here.
163
00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:10,594
Now I'm a fat fuckin' midget!
164
00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:14,112
I'll give you something
to take that down.
165
00:08:14,113 --> 00:08:17,352
What I really need is a holiday,
away from Grandad.
166
00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:20,552
Mrs Brown, the department would
come out and test Grandad.
167
00:08:20,553 --> 00:08:22,674
They'd see that he doesn't
need special care.
168
00:08:22,675 --> 00:08:24,153
What kind of tests?
169
00:08:24,154 --> 00:08:26,553
Well, they test him for dementia...
170
00:08:26,554 --> 00:08:29,874
Dementia, that's the one!
Get them down to test him.
171
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:31,513
But he's not demented.
172
00:08:31,514 --> 00:08:33,434
Get them down to test him!
173
00:08:34,954 --> 00:08:38,313
Fine, but I'm telling you now,
174
00:08:38,314 --> 00:08:40,753
he won't qualify.
175
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,874
You leave that to me, doctor.
176
00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:46,914
By the time they get here,
he'll be as mad as a fuckin' brush.
177
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,113
We're here!
178
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,673
Hello, boys.
179
00:08:53,674 --> 00:08:56,392
Oh, Mrs Brown, thanks very much
for allowing me to stay.
180
00:08:56,393 --> 00:08:58,792
No problem, Dino. I didn't know
you were homeless.
181
00:08:58,793 --> 00:09:01,674
If I'd known, I would have
invited you a lot sooner.
182
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,033
Aw!
183
00:09:03,034 --> 00:09:04,474
Dino!
184
00:09:05,874 --> 00:09:07,793
Oh, Rory!
185
00:09:07,794 --> 00:09:09,633
Oh, Dino!
186
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:11,794
Oh, Jesus!
187
00:09:26,954 --> 00:09:28,113
What the...
188
00:09:28,114 --> 00:09:31,033
Good morning, Mrs Brown!
189
00:09:31,034 --> 00:09:32,553
What's all this?
190
00:09:32,554 --> 00:09:34,552
I've prepared a little
breakfast for you.
191
00:09:34,553 --> 00:09:36,954
You've a long day ahead,
so I thought I'd treat you.
192
00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:38,473
Breakfast for me?
193
00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:41,594
I haven't had breakfast
cooked for me... ever!
194
00:09:41,595 --> 00:09:43,833
Well, today's the day.
195
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,834
Sit yourself down, now.
196
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,074
Thank you very much, son.
197
00:09:50,514 --> 00:09:52,074
What's this shit?
198
00:09:54,074 --> 00:09:55,833
I mean... what is this?
199
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,713
It's Eggs Florentine.
200
00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:59,754
A lightly poached egg
with creamed spinach
201
00:09:59,755 --> 00:10:03,073
and a hollandaise sauce
on a grilled crouton.
202
00:10:03,074 --> 00:10:04,434
Toast.
203
00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:07,834
Very good! Toast.
204
00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,753
Right, I'm off.
205
00:10:10,754 --> 00:10:12,434
Toast!
206
00:10:14,954 --> 00:10:16,114
Toast!
207
00:10:17,794 --> 00:10:19,594
Spinach for fuckin' breakfast?
208
00:10:21,274 --> 00:10:22,553
Morning, Mammy.
209
00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:24,314
You just missed Heston Blumenthal.
210
00:10:25,394 --> 00:10:28,633
Ah, Mammy, Dino's just
trying to be nice.
211
00:10:28,634 --> 00:10:30,952
I appreciate that,
but this is my kitchen.
212
00:10:30,953 --> 00:10:33,192
Let him be feckin' nice
somewhere else.
213
00:10:33,193 --> 00:10:34,914
Do you want a cup of tea, love?
214
00:10:34,915 --> 00:10:36,593
With a crouton?
215
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,953
Just tea.
216
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:39,314
Did you sleep all right, love?
217
00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:41,753
Oh yeah... lovely!
218
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:43,832
Will you tell Dino
to stop making that bed?
219
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,554
My God, you'd think
he never slept in it.
220
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:48,833
Morning.
221
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,393
Morning, Mrs McGoogan.
222
00:10:50,394 --> 00:10:54,873
Rory, tell Dino I'll be there
on time. Six o'clock.
223
00:10:54,874 --> 00:10:58,074
Er, yeah, right, I'll tell him.
I'd better be off. Bye!
224
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,393
What about your feckin' tea?
225
00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,432
Winnie, get yourself tea,
will you? All right.
226
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:05,274
I have to get Grandad
ready for his test.
227
00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:07,113
What test?
228
00:11:07,114 --> 00:11:09,634
The testers coming
to test him for the home.
229
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:11,073
It's like a quiz.
230
00:11:11,074 --> 00:11:12,673
Oh, I love quizzes.
231
00:11:12,674 --> 00:11:13,874
That's nice.
232
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:19,833
Now Grandad, when the tester
gets here tomorrow
233
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:22,074
and he asks you a question,
what are you've to do?
234
00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:23,753
Get right answers.
235
00:11:23,754 --> 00:11:26,714
Is correct. And if you get
the wrong answers, he'll...
236
00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:28,154
Shoot me?
237
00:11:29,354 --> 00:11:30,594
With a big gun!
238
00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:35,312
Now, I've asked around and the
first question they always ask is,
239
00:11:35,313 --> 00:11:37,234
"What is the highest
mountain in the world?"
240
00:11:37,235 --> 00:11:38,353
Everest.
241
00:11:38,354 --> 00:11:41,193
No, it's the Amazon!
242
00:11:41,194 --> 00:11:43,154
The Amazon's a river!
243
00:11:46,594 --> 00:11:48,753
Look how confused you are!
244
00:11:48,754 --> 00:11:50,553
Why don't I ask Winnie?
245
00:11:50,554 --> 00:11:52,952
Winnie, what's the tallest
mountain in the world?
246
00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:54,474
What you said it was, Agnes.
247
00:11:54,475 --> 00:11:55,834
That's right!
248
00:11:56,994 --> 00:12:00,073
Now, Grandad, question two -
249
00:12:00,074 --> 00:12:03,073
"What singer is famous
for the moonwalk?'"
250
00:12:03,074 --> 00:12:04,394
Michael Jackson.
251
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:08,873
Neil Armstrong! Winnie?
252
00:12:08,874 --> 00:12:10,673
Neil Armstrong.
253
00:12:10,674 --> 00:12:12,154
Neil Armstrong.
254
00:12:13,394 --> 00:12:15,073
Oh, right answer!
255
00:12:15,074 --> 00:12:16,914
There you go. Yum, yum, yum.
256
00:12:17,994 --> 00:12:19,913
And the prize?
257
00:12:19,914 --> 00:12:21,874
A week in Galway for me!
258
00:12:31,714 --> 00:12:33,353
Here we go, Mrs Brown.
259
00:12:33,354 --> 00:12:36,314
A cider for you and a gin
and tonic for Mrs McGoogan.
260
00:12:36,315 --> 00:12:37,753
Winnie, where is she?
261
00:12:37,754 --> 00:12:40,394
She's on her way.
Oh, she was a fantastic model.
262
00:12:40,395 --> 00:12:42,673
Model? What do you mean, model?
263
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:46,192
In the hairdressing competition.
Winnie was my model.
264
00:12:46,193 --> 00:12:49,152
It's a pity Rory wasn't in it.
I could have been his model.
265
00:12:49,153 --> 00:12:52,074
Oh, he was, Mrs Brown.
And he did have a model.
266
00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:03,594
Jesus, I hope Winnie doesn't end up
looking like a feckin' badger.
267
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,434
Winnie's out there
finding a feckin' nest!
268
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,914
So, where did you
park your motorbike?
269
00:13:17,154 --> 00:13:19,674
It looks like you've combed it up
from under your arms.
270
00:13:20,754 --> 00:13:23,073
Agnes, darling.
271
00:13:23,074 --> 00:13:26,194
Well, what do you think?
272
00:13:27,594 --> 00:13:30,554
I've seen better hairstyles
on an elephant's testicles.
273
00:13:32,114 --> 00:13:33,474
How are ya, Mammy?
274
00:13:34,874 --> 00:13:36,593
Oooh!
275
00:13:36,594 --> 00:13:38,673
So, who won your competition?
276
00:13:38,674 --> 00:13:40,153
Rory did!
277
00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:41,433
Congratulations.
278
00:13:41,434 --> 00:13:44,114
Yes, we did.
Though we weren't up against much.
279
00:13:45,394 --> 00:13:46,954
Oooh.
280
00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,594
I'll just go up and
get us a drink, Dino.
281
00:13:51,954 --> 00:13:54,193
I would have been a good model!
282
00:13:54,194 --> 00:13:55,912
Well, Rory said you didn't qualify.
283
00:13:55,913 --> 00:13:58,072
What do you mean, I didn't qualify?
284
00:13:58,073 --> 00:14:01,754
Well, you probably have to have
a thick growth like mine.
285
00:14:01,755 --> 00:14:05,833
No, the category was
Hairstyles for Seniors.
286
00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,634
Ooh!
287
00:14:15,994 --> 00:14:17,994
Was it, now?
288
00:14:20,314 --> 00:14:22,073
I love you, son.
289
00:14:22,074 --> 00:14:25,033
Oh, thank God. And Mammy...
Yes, love.
290
00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:27,634
Remember I said I was going to do
something special for you?
291
00:14:27,635 --> 00:14:30,633
Oh, now you don't...
Well, yes, you did.
292
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:34,192
Well, Cathy's at home waiting
and so's your surprise!
293
00:14:34,193 --> 00:14:37,354
Well, what are we doing here?
Come on, let's get home!
294
00:14:39,954 --> 00:14:41,394
They're on their way.
295
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:45,472
I've never taken part in one of
these before, Mr Gennochi.
296
00:14:45,473 --> 00:14:48,112
Cathy, you'll be fine.
You'll be fine.
297
00:14:48,113 --> 00:14:50,392
I wonder how Mammy's
going to take it.
298
00:14:50,393 --> 00:14:53,632
There is nothing frightening
about the spirit world, nothing!
299
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:56,194
It's not the spirit world
I'm worried about!
300
00:14:57,514 --> 00:15:00,034
I can't wait for this
feckin' surprise!
301
00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,394
Shit, we've been robbed!
302
00:15:04,874 --> 00:15:08,353
No, Mammy! Remember the
psychic I told you about?
303
00:15:08,354 --> 00:15:10,792
Psychic, my arse! Con man, you mean?
304
00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:12,192
Mammy, he's not a con man.
305
00:15:12,193 --> 00:15:15,232
He's a con man, or a charlatan
or a feckin' nutcase!
306
00:15:15,233 --> 00:15:17,794
And he's... he's in my feckin'
sitting room!
307
00:15:21,114 --> 00:15:22,513
Did he hear me?
308
00:15:22,514 --> 00:15:24,033
We all heard ya!
309
00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,874
Why didn't you fuckin' tell me?
310
00:15:28,674 --> 00:15:30,114
Oh!
311
00:15:33,394 --> 00:15:35,274
Aargh, aargh!
312
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,474
Hello, how do you do?
313
00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:44,672
Mrs Brown, I don't know how much
Rory has told you.
314
00:15:44,673 --> 00:15:46,714
Do you not? And you're
supposed to be a psychic!
315
00:15:48,554 --> 00:15:50,674
Well, he asked me
to come here tonight to try
316
00:15:50,675 --> 00:15:53,433
and contact your late
husband Redser.
317
00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:54,832
Not going to happen, love.
318
00:15:54,833 --> 00:15:57,152
Mumbo jumbo, the whole feckin'
lot of it, mumbo jumbo!
319
00:15:57,153 --> 00:15:58,712
That is a shame, Mrs Brown,
320
00:15:58,713 --> 00:16:01,352
because you're much admired
in the spirit world.
321
00:16:01,353 --> 00:16:04,234
Much loved as a mother,
but I won't waste your time.
322
00:16:05,394 --> 00:16:08,513
Well, I mean seeing as
how you're here,
323
00:16:08,514 --> 00:16:11,153
we could always have a short go.
324
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,313
Are you sure?
325
00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:15,634
Well, I don't want to disappoint
my fans in the spirit world.
326
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:21,154
Let me dim the lights.
327
00:16:22,794 --> 00:16:26,194
It's not the London Palladium, love.
On or off, take your fuckin' pick.
328
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,354
Off. Rory, get the lights.
329
00:16:33,434 --> 00:16:35,514
Rory, come to the light.
330
00:16:44,314 --> 00:16:45,633
Sorry.
331
00:16:45,634 --> 00:16:50,634
Now, can we all... Please,
can we all just hold hands.
332
00:16:53,394 --> 00:16:55,033
Who's that beside me?
333
00:16:55,034 --> 00:16:56,194
It's me, Agnes.
334
00:16:58,034 --> 00:17:00,434
Agnes, that's not my hand
you're holding.
335
00:17:09,114 --> 00:17:13,153
Now, I want us all to close our eyes
336
00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:17,834
and concentrate on those
who are no longer with us.
337
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:24,273
Close your eyes!
338
00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:25,793
You close your eyes!
339
00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:28,512
I close my eyes when you
close yours. Now, close your eyes!
340
00:17:28,513 --> 00:17:30,872
What are you now, the eye inspector?
341
00:17:30,873 --> 00:17:32,194
Close your fuckin'...
342
00:17:32,195 --> 00:17:33,634
Aargh!
343
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,553
What the... Is he all right?
344
00:17:40,554 --> 00:17:42,914
Never mind him,
I just wet me knickers!
345
00:17:44,714 --> 00:17:48,233
I sense... I sense
a presence in this house.
346
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:53,073
Somebody who refuses to pass over
to the spirit world.
347
00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:54,834
That's you, Grandad!
348
00:17:56,554 --> 00:17:58,993
Mammy! Sorry.
349
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,554
Speak to us.
Is there anyone out there?
350
00:18:01,555 --> 00:18:02,994
Speak to us!
351
00:18:07,394 --> 00:18:09,034
That was definitely you, Grandad!
352
00:18:10,554 --> 00:18:13,553
Agnes, it's me!
353
00:18:13,554 --> 00:18:16,393
It's your husband, Redser.
354
00:18:16,394 --> 00:18:18,073
I don't believe it!
355
00:18:18,074 --> 00:18:20,554
Even in the spirit world,
he's pissed!
356
00:18:22,154 --> 00:18:24,634
Mammy, don't give him
such a hard time!
357
00:18:25,714 --> 00:18:28,474
Agnes, do you miss me?
358
00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,313
Mammy!
359
00:18:31,314 --> 00:18:32,834
I'm fuckin' thinking.
360
00:18:35,394 --> 00:18:36,473
I'm off, so...
361
00:18:36,474 --> 00:18:39,073
No, Daddy, don't go.
362
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,793
Who's that? Who's that?
363
00:18:40,794 --> 00:18:44,553
It's your daughter, Cathy.
And Rory's here, as well.
364
00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:46,153
Hiya, Daddy!
365
00:18:46,154 --> 00:18:47,753
Ah, Rory!
366
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:50,873
Have you found yourself
a nice little wife?
367
00:18:50,874 --> 00:18:52,394
What?
368
00:18:53,394 --> 00:18:56,553
Boyfriend, and his name is Dino.
369
00:18:56,554 --> 00:19:00,674
Ah, good for you, Cathy, and give
my love to the rest of the family.
370
00:19:00,675 --> 00:19:04,873
Give it to Mark and Trevor
and Dermot and Liam...
371
00:19:04,874 --> 00:19:06,394
Who the fuck is Liam?
372
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:11,234
I'd better go now,
but I'll see you soon, Agnes.
373
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,553
Yeah, right, goodbye... Wait!
374
00:19:13,554 --> 00:19:15,152
What do you mean soon? How soon?
375
00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,154
Agnes, they're telling me up here
376
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:20,953
that I'll be reunited
with my loved one
377
00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:24,314
tomorrow night at 11 o'clock.
378
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:28,354
Tell me this is some kind
of feckin' joke!
379
00:19:29,554 --> 00:19:31,034
I gotta go!
380
00:19:33,034 --> 00:19:34,714
I think he's fuckin' gone!
381
00:19:36,274 --> 00:19:39,313
Redser, Redser! Redser!
382
00:19:39,314 --> 00:19:41,233
Cathy, get the light. Red...
383
00:19:41,234 --> 00:19:42,633
Hello?
384
00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:44,434
He fuckin' hung up.
385
00:19:48,194 --> 00:19:50,032
Did you hear that, Rory?
Did you hear that?
386
00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:53,234
It's terrible! He thought Cathy
was married to Dino!
387
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,633
Not that!
388
00:19:54,634 --> 00:19:56,153
Oh, yeah, right.
389
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,872
But Mammy, I thought you didn't
believe in any of that stuff.
390
00:19:58,873 --> 00:20:01,432
You're right, I don't.
I don't believe in that crap!
391
00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,592
Of course not, Mrs Brown.
392
00:20:02,593 --> 00:20:06,474
I mean, nobody actually believes
you're going to die
at 11 o'clock tomorrow night.
393
00:20:13,954 --> 00:20:16,434
OK, folks, two to one,
she croaks. Two to one!
394
00:20:17,874 --> 00:20:19,274
Two to one, they're good odds.
395
00:20:23,234 --> 00:20:26,994
Free crabs, get your
free crabs! Free...
396
00:20:33,314 --> 00:20:34,474
I tripped.
397
00:20:40,874 --> 00:20:43,753
If what Jimmy Gennocchi
says is true,
398
00:20:43,754 --> 00:20:47,153
I'm going to die in five minutes.
399
00:20:47,154 --> 00:20:49,114
No, you're not.
400
00:20:50,554 --> 00:20:52,474
That clock is fast.
401
00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:56,233
It's 20 minutes.
402
00:20:56,234 --> 00:20:59,713
Oh, no, wait... Me watch has stopped.
403
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,874
It is five minutes.
404
00:21:04,234 --> 00:21:06,073
Four and a quarter.
405
00:21:06,074 --> 00:21:08,314
Winnie, spare me
the fuckin' countdown.
406
00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:11,874
Probably not going to
die at all, Agnes.
407
00:21:11,875 --> 00:21:13,473
I'm not going to die.
408
00:21:13,474 --> 00:21:15,274
I mean, you're not that old.
409
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:16,473
I'm not that old.
410
00:21:16,474 --> 00:21:18,392
You seem in good shape.
I'm in great shape.
411
00:21:18,393 --> 00:21:20,914
And Foley's is a safe place to be.
It is a safe place to...
412
00:21:23,554 --> 00:21:25,113
Sorry!
413
00:21:25,114 --> 00:21:28,033
You know, I know
I'm not going to die.
414
00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:30,714
Cos if I was going to die, my whole
family would be here tonight.
415
00:21:33,154 --> 00:21:35,993
Exactly. How could you possibly die?
416
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,033
Yeah.
417
00:21:37,034 --> 00:21:40,512
Unless from a heart attack or
a stroke, or a brain haemorrhage,
418
00:21:40,513 --> 00:21:42,154
which is basically a stroke.
419
00:21:42,155 --> 00:21:43,393
Winnie!
420
00:21:43,394 --> 00:21:44,913
Sorry!
421
00:21:44,914 --> 00:21:47,232
I'm just making the point
that we never know
422
00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:50,112
when death is going to
tap us on the shoulder.
423
00:21:50,113 --> 00:21:52,274
Or maybe this whole thing
is a big feckin' mistake?
424
00:21:52,275 --> 00:21:53,514
Aargh!
425
00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:55,793
Is she gone?
426
00:21:55,794 --> 00:21:57,713
No!
427
00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,512
Can I have a word with you,
Mrs Brown?
428
00:21:59,513 --> 00:22:01,154
Make it a quick one, son.
429
00:22:03,754 --> 00:22:04,994
Winnie, get me a pint.
430
00:22:04,995 --> 00:22:08,154
Well, I'll get you
half a pint, Agnes.
431
00:22:09,554 --> 00:22:11,154
Pint it is.
432
00:22:12,754 --> 00:22:15,594
I just want to thank you
for letting me stay. Fine.
433
00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:18,673
And being so understanding!
Yeah, whatever.
434
00:22:18,674 --> 00:22:22,232
And Dino, you don't have to make
that bed every day, really.
435
00:22:22,233 --> 00:22:24,074
It looks like you haven't
even slept in it.
436
00:22:25,434 --> 00:22:26,593
I haven't.
437
00:22:26,594 --> 00:22:28,234
What do you mean?
Where do you sleep?
438
00:22:28,235 --> 00:22:29,713
In Rory's bed.
439
00:22:29,714 --> 00:22:30,874
And where does Rory sleep?
440
00:22:32,234 --> 00:22:34,794
In Rory's bed. We sleep together.
441
00:22:37,114 --> 00:22:38,194
Aargh!
442
00:22:40,154 --> 00:22:41,433
I'm fine.
443
00:22:41,434 --> 00:22:43,273
Oh, for fuck's sake!
444
00:22:43,274 --> 00:22:45,114
It's just a shock, I'm fine.
445
00:22:46,274 --> 00:22:47,993
Where's the body?
446
00:22:47,994 --> 00:22:49,034
Too early!
447
00:23:00,514 --> 00:23:03,833
Please don't take me yet, Lord.
448
00:23:03,834 --> 00:23:06,113
I know this is the time
449
00:23:06,114 --> 00:23:09,394
when Redser is to be reunited
with his loved one.
450
00:23:09,395 --> 00:23:10,834
Aargh!
451
00:23:11,834 --> 00:23:15,193
His loved one! The bastard!
452
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:17,154
Aargh!
453
00:23:18,234 --> 00:23:20,033
The double bastard!
454
00:23:20,034 --> 00:23:21,474
Aargh!
455
00:23:22,514 --> 00:23:24,993
The triple bastard!
456
00:23:24,994 --> 00:23:26,314
Aargh!
457
00:23:27,954 --> 00:23:29,714
Well, that explains Rory!
458
00:23:32,074 --> 00:23:33,433
Crabs?
459
00:23:33,434 --> 00:23:35,153
Yes.
460
00:23:35,154 --> 00:23:37,874
Apparently Mr Foley gave away
the crabs that he didn't sell
461
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,833
during the crab festival.
462
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:42,674
Seven cases of food poisoning.
Pretty bad too.
463
00:23:42,675 --> 00:23:44,473
I'm just glad I'm alive.
464
00:23:44,474 --> 00:23:47,674
Come on, let's go and see
Grandad's health inspector.
465
00:23:50,674 --> 00:23:53,752
Be gentle with him,
he tends to get confused.
466
00:23:53,753 --> 00:23:55,632
I'll leave you, doctor.
Thank you, doctor.
467
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:57,272
Thank you, doctor.
Goodbye, doctor.
468
00:23:57,273 --> 00:23:59,354
Goodbye, doctor.
Goodbye, doctor.
469
00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,834
It's like fuckin'
Holby City in here.
470
00:24:04,154 --> 00:24:05,794
You need not be anxious, Grandad.
471
00:24:05,795 --> 00:24:08,913
Nobody's going to make you
uncomfortable.
472
00:24:08,914 --> 00:24:11,394
I'm glad to hear that,
cos he's been a bit jumpy lately.
473
00:24:12,434 --> 00:24:15,594
Aargh! Alien! It's an alien!
474
00:24:22,154 --> 00:24:25,554
Grandad, do you know
who that is behind me?
475
00:24:28,154 --> 00:24:29,314
Frankenstein.
476
00:24:31,274 --> 00:24:35,592
You know, this might be better if
I spoke to Grandad without you here.
477
00:24:35,593 --> 00:24:39,074
I'll be upstairs. I have
his bag ready, just in case.
478
00:24:42,794 --> 00:24:44,474
Alien! Alien!
479
00:24:48,674 --> 00:24:52,113
Now, Grandad, I just want
you to relax,
480
00:24:52,114 --> 00:24:54,114
while I ask you some questions.
481
00:24:54,115 --> 00:24:55,754
Don't shoot me!
482
00:24:56,914 --> 00:24:59,873
What is the highest
mountain in the world?
483
00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:01,514
I know this one.
484
00:25:02,674 --> 00:25:04,274
The Amazon.
485
00:25:05,354 --> 00:25:06,713
Everest.
486
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,554
No, it's the Amazon.
487
00:25:10,794 --> 00:25:15,793
Grandad, the head of the British
royal family is called Queen...
488
00:25:15,794 --> 00:25:17,314
Jemima!
489
00:25:19,274 --> 00:25:20,873
Sorry, don't mind me.
490
00:25:20,874 --> 00:25:24,073
Actually, why don't you
sit down and join us?
491
00:25:24,074 --> 00:25:25,874
Oh, thank you.
492
00:25:27,834 --> 00:25:30,513
Now, Grandad,
who is the black singer
493
00:25:30,514 --> 00:25:32,233
famous for the moonwalk?
494
00:25:32,234 --> 00:25:33,393
Jackson.
495
00:25:33,394 --> 00:25:34,714
Neil Armstrong.
496
00:25:41,554 --> 00:25:43,434
Question four...
497
00:25:46,194 --> 00:25:48,434
Question 20.
498
00:25:49,634 --> 00:25:54,393
In the Bible, what was the name
of Joseph the carpenter's
499
00:25:54,394 --> 00:25:57,714
very famous, mystical son?
500
00:25:59,074 --> 00:26:01,114
A carpenter, you say?
501
00:26:02,434 --> 00:26:04,594
Mystical son's name.
502
00:26:05,834 --> 00:26:08,034
I have it. Pinocchio!
503
00:26:20,354 --> 00:26:22,274
That's him gone for
a couple of weeks!
504
00:26:25,154 --> 00:26:27,032
What the fuck are you doing here?
505
00:26:27,033 --> 00:26:30,234
And where's Winnie? I thought
I heard Winnie down here.
506
00:26:31,274 --> 00:26:33,114
Where did you get all that money?
507
00:26:33,115 --> 00:26:35,714
I had a tenner on you to live.
508
00:26:39,034 --> 00:26:40,594
Each way!
509
00:26:46,954 --> 00:26:49,992
Do you know, I learn
something new every day.
510
00:26:49,993 --> 00:26:53,914
For instance, you should never
judge anything, never mind a book,
511
00:26:53,915 --> 00:26:56,193
by its cover.
512
00:26:56,194 --> 00:26:58,474
I thought that psychic
was the real thing.
513
00:26:58,475 --> 00:27:01,473
But he's not, I'm alive!
514
00:27:01,474 --> 00:27:04,834
And I thought Rory
was cheating on me with Hillary
515
00:27:04,835 --> 00:27:06,434
and he wasn't.
516
00:27:07,714 --> 00:27:10,232
And the health tester thought
Winnie was off her rocker
517
00:27:10,233 --> 00:27:12,354
and she's not... Well, not much.
518
00:27:14,154 --> 00:27:16,314
And gambling is a mug's game.
519
00:27:17,474 --> 00:27:21,074
Right, I'm off for me week
to the Galway Races!
520
00:27:22,354 --> 00:27:24,314
Are you coming or what?
521
00:27:32,314 --> 00:27:34,594
Good night!
37041
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