Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:17,120
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
2
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,737
♪ She's Mrs Brown
3
00:00:19,738 --> 00:00:22,737
♪ That's Mrs Brown
4
00:00:22,738 --> 00:00:24,738
♪ Our Mrs Brown. ♪
5
00:00:31,578 --> 00:00:36,937
And now perhaps you might
sing us a song, little chicken.
6
00:00:36,938 --> 00:00:40,378
♪ Cluck-cluck, cluck, cluck-cluck
Cluck-cluck, cluck-cluck. ♪
7
00:00:40,379 --> 00:00:45,457
Oh, very, very good.
Do I sense the arrival of an egg?
8
00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:47,498
Ooh!
9
00:00:48,994 --> 00:00:50,434
I think it's hard boiled.
10
00:00:52,034 --> 00:00:54,914
When I count back from three and
click my fingers, you will wake up
11
00:00:54,915 --> 00:00:57,393
and remember nothing at all.
12
00:00:57,394 --> 00:00:59,514
Three, two, one.
13
00:01:04,514 --> 00:01:09,433
I'm Simon Lavine,
and that's what I call hypnosis.
14
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,019
Thank you very much.
15
00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:14,099
Thank you, ladies, thank you.
Thank you!
16
00:01:17,019 --> 00:01:20,058
You were great Mrs McGoogan,
very funny!
17
00:01:20,059 --> 00:01:23,619
Do you think so?
Sure, I only had to sit there.
18
00:01:25,459 --> 00:01:28,319
I tell you, Maria, this is one
of the best christening parties
19
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,798
I've been ever at.
20
00:01:29,871 --> 00:01:31,790
Oh, thanks, Mrs McGoogan,
21
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,551
with it being triplets, Mummy wanted
to make it a bit special.
22
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,470
What? What was special?
23
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,669
Winnie was just saying
the christening was great.
24
00:01:38,670 --> 00:01:42,071
Oh, it was fantastic, Maria,
three beautiful boys.
25
00:01:42,072 --> 00:01:45,790
I hate the feckin' names
you picked.
26
00:01:45,791 --> 00:01:48,591
It was Dermot who wanted to
call them after The Beatles.
27
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,351
John, George and Ringo.
28
00:01:52,031 --> 00:01:54,389
That's a terrible name to
have to live with. I know.
29
00:01:54,390 --> 00:01:56,309
When he grows up and the teacher
asks his name,
30
00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:58,431
he's to stand up in front of
the whole school
31
00:01:58,432 --> 00:02:00,591
and say fuckin' "George".
32
00:02:03,151 --> 00:02:05,190
Wasn't the hypnotist great?
33
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,671
Winnie, you were very funny.
34
00:02:06,672 --> 00:02:08,390
I did nothing, Agnes.
35
00:02:08,391 --> 00:02:12,069
Oh, you did more than I did, I just
sat up there like a feckin' eejit.
36
00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,551
Mrs Brown,
you really don't remember?
37
00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:15,591
Remember what?
38
00:02:16,711 --> 00:02:18,710
Everyone enjoying themselves?
39
00:02:18,711 --> 00:02:19,791
Up to now, yes.
40
00:02:21,031 --> 00:02:24,749
Hope I'm not over-dressed for this
place, this is a Louise Kennedy.
41
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:27,031
Hope it fits her better
than it fits you.
42
00:02:28,351 --> 00:02:30,950
Louise Kennedy is a top designer.
43
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:31,991
That's nice.
44
00:02:33,831 --> 00:02:35,670
Mammy!
45
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:38,431
Well, drink up, girls, and then
it's everyone back to our house.
46
00:02:38,432 --> 00:02:40,550
Ooh! Are you coming, Agnes?
47
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:43,429
No, I'd better get home to Grandad,
he's been on his own all day.
48
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,309
Well, the champagne's sitting on ice.
49
00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:47,511
Grandad is probably
sitting in shite.
50
00:02:50,751 --> 00:02:53,590
I must say, Agnes,
you are a good sport,
51
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:55,589
you were really quite funny
up on that stage.
52
00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:56,989
When? What do you mean?
53
00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,671
She doesn't remember anything, Mum.
54
00:02:58,672 --> 00:03:00,471
Really?
55
00:03:02,911 --> 00:03:05,271
What? What's she laughing at?
What's she laughing at?
56
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,190
Never mind, Mrs Brown.
57
00:03:07,191 --> 00:03:09,431
Are we going back to
Nicholson's for champers?
58
00:03:09,432 --> 00:03:13,350
Let's go, I'll call Rory
and tell him where we're going.
59
00:03:13,351 --> 00:03:16,229
Betty. Oh, we're heading back
to Nicholson's.
60
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,711
Did you say anything to Mammy?
61
00:03:17,712 --> 00:03:20,390
No, and don't you say anything
either.
62
00:03:20,391 --> 00:03:22,191
Not today, let her enjoy her day.
63
00:03:22,192 --> 00:03:23,391
You're right.
64
00:03:24,991 --> 00:03:26,350
What's that about?
65
00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:28,109
I nearly shot myself in the foot.
66
00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,471
My uncle shot
himself in the foot once.
67
00:03:32,191 --> 00:03:33,911
He was out hunting mushrooms.
68
00:03:37,431 --> 00:03:40,989
Are you going home to Grandad now
or will you have another one?
69
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:42,589
Actually, go on, I might as well.
70
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,071
I may as well feckin' hose him
down as bath him.
71
00:03:48,511 --> 00:03:49,910
Hello!
72
00:03:49,911 --> 00:03:52,750
Well, you just missed
a fantastic day.
73
00:03:52,751 --> 00:03:56,151
Poor Father Damien, he never
christened triplets before.
74
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,870
He nearly ran out of fuckin' water.
75
00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:00,311
He should've used a hose.
76
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:06,350
Oh, I love days like this,
you know, family days.
77
00:04:06,351 --> 00:04:09,031
There's nothing better than
having your family round you.
78
00:04:09,032 --> 00:04:12,830
I'm a very lucky mother
and grandmother.
79
00:04:12,831 --> 00:04:15,550
I saw you talking to yourself again.
80
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:18,109
You usually do
that at home in your kitchen.
81
00:04:18,110 --> 00:04:19,709
Yeah, well, it's a new series.
82
00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:21,591
Thought I'd move it around a bit.
83
00:04:23,991 --> 00:04:26,469
You were very hard on Mrs Nicholson.
Oh.
84
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,269
Ah, she was only trying to be nice.
85
00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:31,229
I'm sorry, it's just that every time
that woman gives me a compliment,
86
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,911
I feel like she's
waiting on a fuckin' receipt.
87
00:04:35,591 --> 00:04:37,550
Bono's nose is out of joint.
88
00:04:37,551 --> 00:04:39,190
Ah, yes.
89
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,431
He doesn't like having to
share his gran.
90
00:04:41,432 --> 00:04:43,750
No, he doesn't.
91
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:48,109
I just told him we love him so much
we got him three new cousins.
92
00:04:48,110 --> 00:04:50,151
I'm not sure that's the way
to tell him, Agnes.
93
00:04:50,152 --> 00:04:51,270
Why not?
94
00:04:51,271 --> 00:04:53,349
Well, imagine
if your Redser had come home
95
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:55,589
and he said, "Listen, Agnes,
I love you so much
96
00:04:55,590 --> 00:04:57,469
"I'm bringing another woman home."
97
00:04:57,470 --> 00:04:59,469
What would you have said to that?
98
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:00,871
I hope she fuckin' cooks.
99
00:05:05,831 --> 00:05:10,631
"For sale, herd of cows,
never been bred.
100
00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:14,711
"Also for sale, gay bull."
101
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,271
Morning.
102
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:24,751
Moo.
103
00:05:27,111 --> 00:05:30,431
Good morning, love, have a
cup of tea? Thanks, Mammy.
104
00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:33,789
You look a bit down, love,
are you all right?
105
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:35,509
It's trying to get an apartment.
106
00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:38,229
There's nothing going that me
and Dino can afford.
107
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:39,749
You just have to be patient, love.
108
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:41,189
We can't be patient, Mammy.
109
00:05:41,190 --> 00:05:43,709
Dino's in his last week in the place
he's in now.
110
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,549
We have to get
somewhere by the end of the week.
111
00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:49,471
Tea, love? Just a quick one,
Mammy, I have a headache.
112
00:05:49,472 --> 00:05:50,910
Hangover, more like.
113
00:05:50,911 --> 00:05:53,589
Good night at the Nicholsons'
last night? Great.
114
00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:55,551
Isn't their kitchen just beautiful?
115
00:05:55,552 --> 00:05:58,070
Amazing, you could live in it.
116
00:05:58,071 --> 00:06:01,431
Ha, a kitchen's a kitchen,
as long as it's cosy and functional,
117
00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:02,991
like this one.
118
00:06:04,511 --> 00:06:08,149
Excuse me, everything in this
kitchen has always worked,
119
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,351
except your father.
120
00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:13,909
Maybe it could do with
a lick of paint.
121
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:16,071
This needs more than
a lick of paint, Mammy,
122
00:06:16,072 --> 00:06:18,270
you need to give it a facelift.
123
00:06:18,271 --> 00:06:20,071
This kitchen was built to last.
124
00:06:24,911 --> 00:06:26,991
It even has fuckin' automatic doors.
125
00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:35,350
These things cost money, Cathy.
126
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:38,030
Mammy, your eldest son is
a carpenter.
127
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:41,950
That's true. And he could use the
work, especially now.
128
00:06:41,951 --> 00:06:43,590
Ouch!
129
00:06:43,591 --> 00:06:45,349
Mammy, she's after kicking me!
130
00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:48,071
Well, that was a very stagey fuckin'
"Ouch."
131
00:06:49,511 --> 00:06:50,551
Ouch!
132
00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:52,710
Eek!
133
00:06:52,711 --> 00:06:55,070
Can we try that again?
134
00:06:55,071 --> 00:06:56,671
Really fuckin' kick him.
135
00:06:59,031 --> 00:07:02,069
Mammy, your eldest son is
a carpenter. True.
136
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:04,911
And he could use the work,
especially now.
137
00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:06,471
Ouch!
138
00:07:08,391 --> 00:07:10,430
Sorry.
139
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:14,311
Let me just show you the sound
I'm really fuckin' looking for.
140
00:07:15,831 --> 00:07:17,309
You don't be kicking him,
141
00:07:17,310 --> 00:07:21,029
or I'm telling you I'll take those
good knickers off you.
142
00:07:21,030 --> 00:07:22,351
What do you mean, now?
143
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:29,030
Nothing, I just mean that now
might be a good time to do it.
144
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:32,029
I have to go, I'll be home on me
lunch break, Mammy. Bye.
145
00:07:32,030 --> 00:07:34,389
Wait, Rory!
I'll walk to the bus with you.
146
00:07:34,390 --> 00:07:36,789
Mammy, I'm meeting Thomas later
so I won't need dinner.
147
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,711
Why? Are you going to eat, Thomas?
148
00:07:38,712 --> 00:07:40,031
Don't answer that.
149
00:07:41,191 --> 00:07:42,670
Hiya, Winnie.
150
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:46,190
How are ya, Cathy, love?
151
00:07:46,191 --> 00:07:47,550
That's loose.
152
00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:49,630
Well spotted.
153
00:07:49,631 --> 00:07:51,109
The christening was great.
154
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:53,509
Oh, it was fantastic.
Do you want tea?
155
00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:54,869
Oh, yes, please, Agnes.
156
00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:57,751
Winnie,
you were very funny on that stage.
157
00:07:57,752 --> 00:07:59,630
Sure, I did nothing.
158
00:07:59,631 --> 00:08:02,031
When you did the chicken. It was
very funny.
159
00:08:02,032 --> 00:08:06,510
All he had to say was the magic
words - finger lickin' good.
160
00:08:06,511 --> 00:08:09,951
Cluck! cluck-cluck-cluck!
161
00:08:16,031 --> 00:08:19,310
And then he just clicked his fingers
162
00:08:19,311 --> 00:08:21,671
and you didn't remember anything.
163
00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:26,590
Remember what?
164
00:08:26,591 --> 00:08:28,191
About the fuckin' chicken.
165
00:08:29,191 --> 00:08:30,430
Hello, Ma.
166
00:08:30,431 --> 00:08:34,910
Hello, son.
Oh, this is an unexpected surprise.
167
00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:37,949
Oh, we're just dropping Bono
to school and thought we'd drop in.
168
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:39,509
Well, you're just in time for tea.
169
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:42,111
And we'd like to have a
chat with you. Sure.
170
00:08:42,112 --> 00:08:43,750
In private. Winnie.
171
00:08:43,751 --> 00:08:45,991
Yeah? They'd like to talk private.
Oh.
172
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,310
Mum-um-um-um-um...
173
00:08:48,311 --> 00:08:50,991
Winnie! Family business, fuck off.
174
00:08:56,191 --> 00:08:57,590
What is it, love?
175
00:08:57,591 --> 00:08:59,869
I'm being made redundant, Ma,
in three weeks.
176
00:08:59,870 --> 00:09:01,109
Oh, I'm sorry, love.
177
00:09:01,110 --> 00:09:03,469
But, you know, sometimes
these things work out
178
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:04,989
just the way they're supposed to.
179
00:09:04,990 --> 00:09:07,189
I was just thinking about getting
the kitchen done.
180
00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:09,949
You can do that while you're
waiting on another job, and then
181
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:13,031
I can pay you. I'd rather pay
you than pay anybody else.
182
00:09:16,911 --> 00:09:18,271
Hello there.
183
00:09:23,031 --> 00:09:24,710
You're just in time.
184
00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:27,391
Screw yourself
into that door there, will you?
185
00:09:28,431 --> 00:09:30,031
Go on, you know the drill.
186
00:09:32,391 --> 00:09:36,309
Did you want a cup of tea or
did you just come for a charge?
187
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,949
Betty, just the girl,
could you do me a favour?
188
00:09:38,950 --> 00:09:41,269
It's the toy fair tomorrow,
and the boss is looking for
189
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:44,269
a pretty blonde to play
a kind of a Barbie doll.
190
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:46,269
Oh, jeez, Betty,
you could help there,
191
00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:48,031
you must know a pretty blonde.
192
00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:50,750
Ma! I meant Betty.
193
00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:52,351
And who's going to play Ken?
194
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:53,551
Me!
195
00:09:55,151 --> 00:09:57,711
Are they dolls,
will they damage in a fire?
196
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:00,471
Hilarious.
197
00:10:01,791 --> 00:10:03,349
Do you fancy it, Betty?
198
00:10:03,350 --> 00:10:06,429
No, Dermot, not with Bono in school,
but thanks for asking.
199
00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:08,711
No bother,
I have someone else in mind anyway.
200
00:10:08,712 --> 00:10:11,630
How are yas? Hiya, Buster.
201
00:10:11,631 --> 00:10:13,269
Did you want me for something,
Dermo?
202
00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:15,631
Dermot,
we wanted to have a chat with Ma.
203
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:17,911
No bother. Buster, in there.
204
00:10:21,791 --> 00:10:23,231
See, the thing is, Ma...
205
00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:25,910
Hello, help!
206
00:10:25,911 --> 00:10:27,391
Just give me a minute.
207
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:28,550
Jesus!
208
00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,710
Mark, we have to.
209
00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:31,551
I'm coming, Grandad.
210
00:10:33,711 --> 00:10:34,909
I didn't do anything!
211
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,031
I know but you will.
212
00:10:36,032 --> 00:10:37,870
Help me!
213
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,789
I'm coming, for God's sake,
keep your fecking clothes on.
214
00:10:40,790 --> 00:10:42,589
So, what did you want me for, Dermo?
215
00:10:42,590 --> 00:10:45,071
Firstly, me mother-in-law
wants her afghan back.
216
00:10:45,072 --> 00:10:48,070
Dermo, I swear, it followed me home.
217
00:10:48,071 --> 00:10:49,671
Buster, it's a rug.
218
00:10:54,551 --> 00:10:56,509
Fair enough. It's in the car.
219
00:10:56,510 --> 00:10:58,151
You still driving that banger?
220
00:10:58,152 --> 00:10:59,990
It gets me from A to...
221
00:10:59,991 --> 00:11:02,030
A.
222
00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:03,550
When it starts.
223
00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:06,830
Get back into the bed. Get into...
224
00:11:06,831 --> 00:11:08,750
Look at my lips!
225
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:09,791
Up here!
226
00:11:12,591 --> 00:11:14,390
Get into...
227
00:11:14,391 --> 00:11:15,431
You OK, Mammy?
228
00:11:16,991 --> 00:11:20,031
It's your Grandad, he knocked over
his glass of water in his sleep.
229
00:11:20,032 --> 00:11:22,910
Now I can't find his fuckin' teeth.
230
00:11:22,911 --> 00:11:25,311
He won't get back into bed.
He thinks they're in the bed
231
00:11:25,312 --> 00:11:28,510
and they're going to chew
the balls off him.
232
00:11:28,511 --> 00:11:32,670
Get in! Get in, you feck!
Get into the bed!
233
00:11:32,671 --> 00:11:34,269
So, what's the other thing, Dermo?
234
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,589
I have a day's work for you.
235
00:11:35,590 --> 00:11:37,911
Meet me at the toy fair
at nine in the morning.
236
00:11:37,912 --> 00:11:41,510
That's great.
See you in the morning.
237
00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:43,391
I'll see yas.
238
00:11:45,231 --> 00:11:47,391
Mark, do you want me
to say it to her?
239
00:11:47,392 --> 00:11:49,750
No, I'll tell her. Jesus.
240
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,830
Mark? Any chance of a push?
241
00:11:51,831 --> 00:11:53,990
No.
242
00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:56,269
It wasn't long ago
we had a car like that.
243
00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:59,391
Fine, then.
OK, Buster, I'll give you a push.
244
00:11:59,392 --> 00:12:00,950
Oh, thanks, Mark.
245
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:02,430
Where are ya?
246
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,951
Over here, on the swing.
247
00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:08,951
Right, see yas.
248
00:12:10,951 --> 00:12:12,551
Dermot, give us a push will ya?
249
00:12:12,552 --> 00:12:13,910
No.
250
00:12:13,911 --> 00:12:17,190
Sorry about that, love.
Now, where was I?
251
00:12:17,191 --> 00:12:19,909
Oh, yes, the kitchen.
You could do that.
252
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:23,031
I can't Ma, I don't want the job
that I might not be here to finish.
253
00:12:23,032 --> 00:12:24,270
What do you mean?
254
00:12:24,271 --> 00:12:27,429
Mrs Brown, there's no work out
there. In three weeks, Mark is
255
00:12:27,430 --> 00:12:30,509
finished, and the chance of getting
a job is, well, there's nothing.
256
00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:33,469
I know you feel like that, Betty,
but you mustn't give up hope.
257
00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:35,071
We're not giving up, Mrs Brown.
258
00:12:35,072 --> 00:12:37,030
I've found some work
259
00:12:37,031 --> 00:12:38,431
in Australia.
260
00:12:40,111 --> 00:12:42,551
Oh, Jesus,
we'll miss you, won't we, son?
261
00:12:44,751 --> 00:12:47,630
Ma, we're all going to Australia.
262
00:12:47,631 --> 00:12:48,951
When do we leave?
263
00:12:50,511 --> 00:12:51,870
Mammy.
264
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:54,711
I, I was just trying
to make light of it.
265
00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,630
Good for you.
266
00:12:56,631 --> 00:12:59,309
You're right, you have to make
a life for yourselves
267
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:02,911
and if you can't make it here,
then you go wherever you can.
268
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:05,990
Thanks, Ma, I knew you'd understand.
269
00:13:05,991 --> 00:13:08,510
And you can visit. It's not that far.
270
00:13:08,511 --> 00:13:10,550
Of course I will.
271
00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:12,190
I'm getting excited now.
272
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:14,629
Well, we're not there yet -
we still have to get the visas.
273
00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:16,311
Let's go to the embassy now.
274
00:13:16,312 --> 00:13:18,430
OK, let's go. See ya, Ma.
275
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:19,591
See yas.
276
00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:34,630
How is she?
277
00:13:34,631 --> 00:13:38,590
All right, I think.
But you know Mammy, Rory,
278
00:13:38,591 --> 00:13:40,991
she's putting on a brave face,
but, well...
279
00:13:40,992 --> 00:13:45,150
I know, under that hard exterior
280
00:13:45,151 --> 00:13:46,951
is another hard exterior.
281
00:13:49,431 --> 00:13:51,750
Stop, don't make me laugh.
282
00:13:51,751 --> 00:13:54,270
Emigrating to Australia?
283
00:13:54,271 --> 00:13:55,310
Yes.
284
00:13:55,311 --> 00:13:57,350
That's a long way away.
285
00:13:57,351 --> 00:13:58,630
I know.
286
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:00,351
That's further than America.
287
00:14:01,751 --> 00:14:03,070
I know.
288
00:14:03,071 --> 00:14:04,591
The other side of the world, it is.
289
00:14:04,592 --> 00:14:06,111
I fuckin' know.
290
00:14:08,511 --> 00:14:10,790
It's miles and miles away.
291
00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:14,630
Winnie, don't volunteer
for The Samaritans.
292
00:14:14,631 --> 00:14:15,751
I'm just saying.
293
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:21,710
I had an auntie,
emigrated to America.
294
00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:25,790
We never heard from her again,
not even a letter.
295
00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:28,670
Was this the one that
was on the Titanic?
296
00:14:28,671 --> 00:14:29,911
Yeah.
297
00:14:36,831 --> 00:14:40,670
We never heard from her again.
298
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,190
Where are they going in Australia?
299
00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:46,631
Somewhere outside Sydney.
Poitier or something like that.
300
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:52,309
Oh, Rory, you missed it
at the christening party in Foley's.
301
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:56,471
I heard the hypnotist was brilliant
and Mammy was really funny.
302
00:14:56,472 --> 00:14:58,430
Oh, it was hilarious.
303
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,749
What did he get her to do?
304
00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:02,189
When he had her under,
he said that every time
305
00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:05,911
he said the magic word, Mammy would
think she was an Alsatian dog.
306
00:15:09,271 --> 00:15:11,230
And she was hilarious.
307
00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:14,191
And then he just clicked his fingers
and she didn't even remember it.
308
00:15:14,192 --> 00:15:16,070
What was the magic word?
309
00:15:16,071 --> 00:15:17,350
Triplets.
310
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,190
Woof! Woof!
311
00:15:19,191 --> 00:15:25,511
I suppose that's the way
it was with our children.
312
00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:31,511
One minute, they're little babies,
crawling on the ground...
313
00:15:34,751 --> 00:15:38,870
and the next minute,
they're all grown up.
314
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,391
Just like that.
315
00:15:44,871 --> 00:15:46,471
Am I right, Agnes?
316
00:15:47,751 --> 00:15:49,990
What? Right about what?
317
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,751
Children growing up quick.
318
00:15:51,752 --> 00:15:53,351
Yeah.
319
00:15:54,951 --> 00:15:57,389
Then he told her
that when he said another word,
320
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,551
Mammy would think she was
a stripper!
321
00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:07,150
What was that word?
322
00:16:07,151 --> 00:16:10,751
It was, oh, I can't remember,
but it was so funny.
323
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:16,030
Fair play to that hypnotist,
he was on the ball, you know,
324
00:16:16,031 --> 00:16:19,591
it being the three
boys' christening, to pick
that word triplets.
325
00:16:19,592 --> 00:16:21,951
Woof! Woof!
326
00:16:27,231 --> 00:16:29,031
Throw the ball! Throw the ball!
327
00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:32,591
Aaargh!
328
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:35,951
Throw the fucking ball!
329
00:16:36,951 --> 00:16:39,151
Rory, Cathy, help!
330
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:46,511
It's your Mammy!
I think she's annoyed with me!
331
00:16:53,031 --> 00:16:55,311
Winnie, what the fuck is
wrong with you?
332
00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:02,791
We should contact that hypnotist
to take Mammy out of that.
333
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:05,030
Yeah, we should.
334
00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:06,511
But not yet!
335
00:17:08,991 --> 00:17:10,430
To Australia!
336
00:17:10,431 --> 00:17:11,951
I wish you the best of luck, Betty.
337
00:17:11,952 --> 00:17:13,550
Thank you, Mrs Brown.
338
00:17:13,551 --> 00:17:16,229
You'll need it, I tell ya,
with all them snakes and sharks
339
00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,791
and poisonous spiders that
hide under the toilet seat.
340
00:17:18,792 --> 00:17:20,150
What? Yes.
341
00:17:20,151 --> 00:17:22,471
There's a reason they sent
convicts to Australia,
342
00:17:22,472 --> 00:17:24,990
it's a fuckin' death trap.
343
00:17:24,991 --> 00:17:26,109
It's not like that.
344
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:28,229
A lot of Australians
live in really nice places.
345
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:32,391
Yes, Dublin or London, as far
away from Australia as they can.
346
00:17:32,392 --> 00:17:33,710
Aye, yeah.
347
00:17:33,711 --> 00:17:35,070
Small sharks.
348
00:17:35,071 --> 00:17:36,470
What?
349
00:17:36,471 --> 00:17:39,511
Well, in the toilet, they'd
have to be small sharks.
350
00:17:43,511 --> 00:17:46,311
Winnie, go up and tell Mr Foley
that he wants you, will you?
351
00:17:46,312 --> 00:17:47,351
OK, love.
352
00:17:50,751 --> 00:17:53,869
I'm serious. Can you imagine sitting
in the toilet, and one of them
353
00:17:53,870 --> 00:17:56,949
creepy spiders crawling up
towards your ying yang?
354
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,269
It's called a funnel web.
355
00:17:58,270 --> 00:18:01,351
You call yours what you like, love,
mine's a ying yang.
356
00:18:03,511 --> 00:18:05,469
How long will you stay there, Betty?
357
00:18:05,470 --> 00:18:09,711
Till she needs a shit, then she'll
be on the first plane home.
358
00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:11,551
You wait and see.
359
00:18:13,351 --> 00:18:14,911
Mr Foley said he didn't want me.
360
00:18:14,912 --> 00:18:17,950
I wish he'd make up his
feckin' mind.
361
00:18:17,951 --> 00:18:20,231
Have the two of you decided
where in Australia?
362
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:22,110
Mark wants to go to Sydney.
363
00:18:22,111 --> 00:18:24,310
Jacko and me were in Australia.
364
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,510
I didn't know that, where?
365
00:18:26,511 --> 00:18:28,070
Perth.
366
00:18:28,071 --> 00:18:30,270
I believe Perth is beautiful.
367
00:18:30,271 --> 00:18:33,991
We didn't like it, very cold,
and the people all spoke funny.
368
00:18:39,351 --> 00:18:40,829
Winnie, was it kind of like,
369
00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:43,191
"There's a moose
loose about this hoose?"
370
00:18:46,231 --> 00:18:48,790
You feckin' eejit.
371
00:18:48,791 --> 00:18:50,071
That's Canada.
372
00:18:55,231 --> 00:18:56,951
Well, at least we were there.
373
00:19:00,071 --> 00:19:02,631
Will you come to the toilet with me,
Agnes?
374
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,750
Why?
375
00:19:05,751 --> 00:19:09,590
Well, in case there's one of them
spider thingies,
376
00:19:09,591 --> 00:19:12,751
and it might attack me ying yang.
That'd be fatal.
377
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:13,791
For the spider.
378
00:19:15,911 --> 00:19:19,951
Winnie, you're all right, they won't
be there. It's only in Australia.
379
00:19:21,151 --> 00:19:24,271
C'mon, I'll go with you, c'mon.
Thanks, Agnes. Feck's sake.
380
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,149
By the way, Maria, thanks for
a great night at the christening.
381
00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:31,429
Oh, we really wanted to mark
the occasion.
382
00:19:31,430 --> 00:19:33,511
It's not every day you get
to christen triplets.
383
00:19:33,512 --> 00:19:35,231
Woof! Woof!
384
00:19:51,351 --> 00:19:53,111
Ya dirty bastard!
385
00:19:55,671 --> 00:19:57,350
What was that about?
386
00:19:57,351 --> 00:19:59,711
There's something
I meant to tell you.
387
00:20:03,391 --> 00:20:05,431
Phone! Phone!
388
00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:08,350
Phone!
389
00:20:08,351 --> 00:20:11,509
'Hello, this is Agnes Brown.
I'm not taking your call,
390
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,631
'because I'm trying to avoid
somebody I don't like.
391
00:20:15,871 --> 00:20:19,071
'Please leave your number,
and if I don't call back, it's you.'
392
00:20:22,071 --> 00:20:23,231
'Hello, Mrs Brown.
393
00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:27,670
'Damien, Father Damien.
I'm on my way over to see you.
394
00:20:27,671 --> 00:20:29,709
'I heard about Mark emigrating
395
00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:31,871
'and I thought you could use
a little chat.
396
00:20:31,872 --> 00:20:33,110
'Hello?
397
00:20:33,111 --> 00:20:35,111
'I feckin' hate these things.'
398
00:20:39,831 --> 00:20:41,310
Phone!
399
00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:43,390
What's wrong with you?
400
00:20:43,391 --> 00:20:45,030
Phone!
401
00:20:45,031 --> 00:20:46,630
Priest.
402
00:20:46,631 --> 00:20:48,310
Message.
403
00:20:48,311 --> 00:20:49,711
I can't sleep!
404
00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:55,711
Does that smell
like chloroform to you?
405
00:20:59,351 --> 00:21:00,511
There we are.
406
00:21:06,871 --> 00:21:08,791
Hello, Ken!
407
00:21:10,071 --> 00:21:11,391
Are you on your own?
408
00:21:11,392 --> 00:21:13,310
No, Buster's with me.
409
00:21:13,311 --> 00:21:15,230
Come on, Buster.
410
00:21:15,231 --> 00:21:16,271
I'm coming.
411
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:30,910
Buster, sit down, son.
412
00:21:30,911 --> 00:21:35,469
No, I'll stand. I might damage
the box, and that affects the value.
413
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,029
Do you want a cup of tea, love?
414
00:21:37,030 --> 00:21:39,591
No, Mammy, we just called to see
if you're OK.
415
00:21:41,671 --> 00:21:43,311
We heard about Mark.
416
00:21:49,671 --> 00:21:51,069
Do you want a cup of tea, son?
417
00:21:51,070 --> 00:21:53,511
No, Ma, we just called in to see
if you're OK.
418
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:55,071
We heard about Mark.
419
00:22:03,991 --> 00:22:05,671
Close your fuckin' mouth.
420
00:22:11,231 --> 00:22:12,951
Would you like a cup of tea, son?
421
00:22:14,111 --> 00:22:15,551
No, Mammy.
422
00:22:18,911 --> 00:22:22,151
We just called in to see
if you're OK. We heard about Mark.
423
00:22:26,391 --> 00:22:28,591
It's fuckin' Hawaii Five-0 now.
424
00:22:32,951 --> 00:22:34,829
Would you like a cup of tea, son?
425
00:22:34,830 --> 00:22:37,431
No, Mammy, we just called in
to see if you're OK.
426
00:22:37,432 --> 00:22:39,470
We heard about Mark.
427
00:22:39,471 --> 00:22:41,390
It is what it is, I'm fine.
428
00:22:41,391 --> 00:22:42,630
Yeah.
429
00:22:42,631 --> 00:22:44,149
I might emigrate to Australia.
430
00:22:44,150 --> 00:22:46,671
Buster, they stopped taking
people like you in Australia
431
00:22:46,672 --> 00:22:47,831
200 years ago.
432
00:22:49,671 --> 00:22:51,831
Well, you're all right
anyway, are you, Mammy?
433
00:22:51,832 --> 00:22:52,871
I'm grand...
434
00:22:56,231 --> 00:22:57,751
I fucking can't...
435
00:23:05,831 --> 00:23:07,191
Oh, Jesus.
436
00:23:10,551 --> 00:23:12,551
OK, this time, this time, this time.
437
00:23:14,631 --> 00:23:17,311
Well, you're all right anyway,
are you, Mammy?
438
00:23:26,431 --> 00:23:29,031
I'm fine,
thanks for thinking about me, Elvis.
439
00:23:32,351 --> 00:23:34,670
Dermo, can I take a break?
440
00:23:34,671 --> 00:23:35,950
No.
441
00:23:35,951 --> 00:23:39,591
Aw, come on, Dermo, I just want
a chance to think outside the box.
442
00:23:41,191 --> 00:23:42,511
Shut up, Buster.
443
00:23:44,151 --> 00:23:45,591
Hiya, Mark! Hiya, Bono.
444
00:23:46,671 --> 00:23:48,071
Hiya, Ma! Hello, son.
445
00:23:48,072 --> 00:23:51,511
Oh, look at you, Bono.
So big.
446
00:23:53,671 --> 00:23:55,389
Ma, I'm looking for a certificate.
447
00:23:55,390 --> 00:23:57,429
It's for me application for
Australia.
448
00:23:57,430 --> 00:23:58,671
What kind of certificate?
449
00:23:58,672 --> 00:23:59,710
Baptism.
450
00:23:59,711 --> 00:24:03,269
Do you have any idea where it
might... I know where it is.
451
00:24:03,270 --> 00:24:04,431
I know where it is.
452
00:24:05,671 --> 00:24:07,111
Hiya, Bono!
453
00:24:08,551 --> 00:24:11,150
Are you sad? Aye.
454
00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:12,671
Do you want to see something funny?
455
00:24:12,672 --> 00:24:13,790
Aye.
456
00:24:13,791 --> 00:24:14,831
Watch this.
457
00:24:17,471 --> 00:24:18,590
Triplets!
458
00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:20,591
Woof! Woof!
459
00:24:36,231 --> 00:24:40,350
It's nice to see you smiling,
mister. What's so funny?
460
00:24:40,351 --> 00:24:41,950
Nothing, Granny.
461
00:24:41,951 --> 00:24:44,511
Right, that's me back to work,
I'll see yas later.
462
00:24:44,512 --> 00:24:45,831
See ya, love.
463
00:24:48,231 --> 00:24:51,270
I don't want to go to
Australia, Granny.
464
00:24:51,271 --> 00:24:54,710
Don't be silly, it'll be a great
adventure.
465
00:24:54,711 --> 00:24:56,470
New school, new friends.
466
00:24:56,471 --> 00:24:57,791
But no Granny.
467
00:24:59,271 --> 00:25:00,311
No.
468
00:25:01,791 --> 00:25:03,110
But I can visit.
469
00:25:03,111 --> 00:25:06,431
You wait and see, you'll be
sick of me out there, I swear.
470
00:25:07,671 --> 00:25:09,191
Hello, Father, c'mon in.
471
00:25:10,471 --> 00:25:13,670
You know,
I don't know a lot about Australia,
472
00:25:13,671 --> 00:25:17,151
but I know it has gorgeous beaches
and everybody has a sun tan.
473
00:25:17,152 --> 00:25:20,111
Really? Yes, it's like Skegness.
474
00:25:21,631 --> 00:25:23,110
I have a great idea.
475
00:25:23,111 --> 00:25:24,230
What?
476
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:28,511
Mammy and Daddy can go to Australia,
and I will stay here with you.
477
00:25:28,512 --> 00:25:29,990
No.
478
00:25:29,991 --> 00:25:31,430
Please, Granny?
479
00:25:31,431 --> 00:25:33,030
Wait a second, Father.
480
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:35,991
No, I wouldn't want you
here in my way, under me feet.
481
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,750
No, go to Australia.
482
00:25:37,751 --> 00:25:39,349
But I won't be any trouble.
483
00:25:39,350 --> 00:25:42,151
No, you go to Australia
with your Mammy and your Daddy.
484
00:25:42,152 --> 00:25:43,471
Fine.
485
00:25:45,791 --> 00:25:47,671
I don't want to see you ever again!
486
00:25:49,511 --> 00:25:51,071
Bono!
487
00:25:52,831 --> 00:25:54,071
Thanks, Ma.
488
00:25:57,591 --> 00:25:59,310
Ah, hello, Mrs Brown!
489
00:25:59,311 --> 00:26:01,191
Oh, that's all I fuckin' need now.
490
00:26:05,511 --> 00:26:06,950
Hiya, Sharon.
491
00:26:06,951 --> 00:26:08,069
Ah, howya, Cathy?
492
00:26:08,070 --> 00:26:10,589
Here, do you remember
the hypnotist the other night?
493
00:26:10,590 --> 00:26:12,429
Yeah, why? What's he saying?
494
00:26:12,430 --> 00:26:14,871
That rash was there
before I went near him.
495
00:26:17,031 --> 00:26:19,790
No! Do you have a number for him?
496
00:26:19,791 --> 00:26:21,791
Oh, yeah, I have his card somewhere.
497
00:26:23,191 --> 00:26:25,070
Mammy is still hypnotised.
498
00:26:25,071 --> 00:26:27,270
Oh, here. Thanks.
499
00:26:27,271 --> 00:26:29,149
I couldn't remember
the other magic word,
500
00:26:29,150 --> 00:26:31,231
the one that turned
her into a stripper?
501
00:26:31,232 --> 00:26:33,430
Oh, yeah, baptism.
502
00:26:33,431 --> 00:26:35,151
I'm fine.
503
00:26:36,191 --> 00:26:38,471
I don't need counselling, I'm fine.
504
00:26:38,472 --> 00:26:44,070
OK, but still, I mean,
I haven't seen you since the baptism.
505
00:26:44,071 --> 00:26:47,310
I know you're upset about Mark
emigrating,
506
00:26:47,311 --> 00:26:50,311
but something many of my
parishioners have gone through,
507
00:26:50,312 --> 00:26:53,631
virtually on a daily basis.
508
00:26:56,391 --> 00:26:58,191
Mrs Brown?
509
00:26:59,911 --> 00:27:01,991
Mrs... Emigration isn't...
510
00:27:10,751 --> 00:27:11,950
Mrs Brown!
511
00:27:11,951 --> 00:27:13,711
Are you all right, Mrs Brown?
512
00:27:15,871 --> 00:27:17,790
There's no place like home!
513
00:27:17,791 --> 00:27:19,511
Mrs Brown! What are you doing?
514
00:27:27,831 --> 00:27:29,871
I really have to be leaving soon.
515
00:27:29,872 --> 00:27:31,670
Not yet, Mr Lavine.
516
00:27:31,671 --> 00:27:32,911
Cluck-cluck-cluck!
517
00:27:39,231 --> 00:27:40,470
Woof!
518
00:27:40,471 --> 00:27:42,350
Cluck! Cluck!
519
00:27:42,351 --> 00:27:43,911
Woof! Woof!
520
00:27:48,991 --> 00:27:50,750
Just a few more minutes.
521
00:27:50,751 --> 00:27:53,110
Woof! Woof!
522
00:27:53,111 --> 00:27:54,711
Good night.
37626
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof