All language subtitles for ImChevyChaseandYoureNot20251080pWEBh264-BAE_track3_eng[_29696]

♪♪

- [child babbling]
- [bell tolling]

[deep sniffing]

- Mm-mm.
- MAN: I'm gonna swap

- this water out.
- MARINA: Okay.

- What the fuck happened?
- Go ahead,

enjoy your breakfast.
Don't worry.

- Don't mind me.
- Enjoy my breakfast?!

[laughter]

Jesus Christ.

I have eggs or--
or cereal every morning.

That's what keeps me
a little overweight.

[laughing]

Here, Pat,
take this for a second.

Hold onto it forever.

I think we're ready.

♪♪

You see, sir,
we're not gunfighters.

We're movie stars.

MARTIN SHORT:
He has this glint in his eye

that makes you feel that
there's a big brain in there,

and it's ready to say
something really funny,

or sarcastic, or edgy.

Listen, it's Glory, right?

You're a really nice girl,

and I'm a nice guy,
and you're very pretty.

What do you say?
Would you like to take a shower?

He didn't really have
a lot of boundaries.

He was very, very free.

Drink this.
And it's off to bed.

You should've been a doctor.

Okay, we'll play
whatever you like.

His random lines just
pop into my head all the time.

- You take drugs, Danny?
- Every day.

- Good.
- BEVERLY D'ANGELO: We always

had this chemistry
that was just always there.

Would you like
something to drink?

- Helen, you want something?
- No, no, thank you.

- I'll have a Coke.
- Do you want that in the can?

No, I'll have it right here.

And now, for those
of our viewers

who may be Holsteins
or Herefords,

our top story tonight...

[moo-ing]

I immediately fell in love
with that bumbling idiot

doing Weekend Update.

I'm talking about Chevy,
not the character he played.

I give you the Griswold
family Christmas tree.

[crashing]

I spent most days
in between scenes

in his trailer with him
and his makeup artist Lee

listening to the filthiest jokes
I have ever heard in my life.

Little kid
in the fourth grade who says,

"Hey, Dad, I've got
the biggest dick

in the fourth grade.
Is that 'cause I'm Black?"

"No, son,
that's 'cause you're 19."

- I mean, I don't know...
- DAN AYKROYD: I could see,

you know, right away,
this guy is,

you know,
simultaneously talented

and very dangerous.

EMILY CHASE:
He has this charisma.

The asshole who you love.

Can I say "asshole"?
[laughing]

MARINA: A lot of people will,
unfortunately.

- [laughter]
- GENE SISKEL: Chevy Chase,

has he worn out his welcome
in the entertainment world?

Yeah, he might've been nasty
to other people,

but he--
he and I were like that.

KEVIN SMITH: You know, I was
always kinda hoping in my heart,

it was like,
"They don't get this guy,"

and when I met him,
I understood perfectly

that everything I'd ever read
was probably true.

CHEVY: Maybe you wanna come
at me for a while.

The-- I will, Chevy--

No, no, come on,
let's do it now--

no, come on, let's talk
about my married life.

- I want you to--
- No, come on, man.

What about my shirt,
you like it?

- Look, they're coming back--
- Quiet down.

- That shirt is coming back.
- I'm talking, okay?

You like my shirt?
Fuck you, fuckhead, okay?

How's that?
Put that on tape.

ALAN GREISMAN:
I don't think he consciously

wants to be an asshole.

I think what
the asshole version of him...

is somebody who is desperate

for something he either lost

or doesn't have

or just getting old.

MARINA: I'm just trying
to figure you out.

No shit.

It's not gonna be easy for you.

MARINA: Why is it
not gonna be easy?

[coughing]
You're not bright enough.

How's that?

- MARINA: Whoa.
- Well, you asked.

I know you're not gonna
put that on the air,

and I hope not,

but my answer is

I'm complex
and I'm deep.

And I can be hurt easily,

and I react spontaneously

to people who want
to figure me out, as it were.

As somebody who will
hold up my guard.

I'm not gonna let anybody
figure me out, per se.

["My Old School," Steely Dan]

♪ I remember ♪

♪ The 35 sweet goodbyes... ♪

PETER AARON:
I first met Chevy

in the dining commons at Bard.

I noticed that there was

this buffoon at the table

that would do
very peculiar things.

Reach for the salt
and knock over a water

onto somebody's lap.

♪ To find you
with the working girls ♪

♪ In the county jail ♪

PETER: Chevy often
fell down flights of stairs,

and it wasn't by accident.

♪ To my old school... ♪

CHEVY: Don Fagen
and Walter Becker,

we had a group in college
called the Very Bad Jazz Band.

I was a drummer at the time.

As we emerged from college,

it was called Steely Dan.

I really knew jazz.

And I know
what a great drummer is,

you know, and I said,

"Go get a good drummer,"
and I left.

♪♪

Blythe Danner,
that was my first real love,

was Blythe.

She's a great woman,

and I'll always think
highly of her.

NED CHEVY: Blythe and Chevy had
different paths post-college.

Blythe is
a very skilled actress,

and Blythe's career took off
almost immediately.

Meanwhile, Chevy did not
take off immediately.

PETER: The man's name was
Cornelius Crane Chase.

Now, that kind of
implies money.

But he sure had no money
when I knew him.

I grew up in New York City
in a wine family.

My father started a store
called Sherry Lehmann.

My father loved Chevy.

When Chevy applied
to Sherry Lehmann,

his application, he just
makes fun of the questions.

"Have you committed
any crimes?"

"No, because
crime doesn't pay."

["Every Picture Tells a Story,"
Rod Stewart]

CHEVY: I drove a specific truck,
delivering wines

from Sherry Lehmann Wines
and Liquors.

♪ Combed my hair
in a thousand ways ♪

My brother Peter has been
friends with Chevy

since they went
to Bard College together.

♪ Daddy said, "Son,
you'd better see the world" ♪

ANDY: I remember
when he would visit,

if I spent...
eight hours with him,

I would be laughing
for eight hours.

♪ But remember one thing,
don't lose your head ♪

JOHN CEDERQUIST:
Our great-grandfather...

passed away and left

an inheritance of, you know,
I mean eight grand.

And Chevy took
the whole amount

and went and bought
a used Rolls-Royce.

Played big-wig in that.

♪♪

NED:
He met a girl named Susan.

And they did get married.

And that lasted for a while.

MARINA: You've been
married three times.

Jacqueline was the first.

MARINA: I thought
there was someone before--

Oh, that's right.

Susan!

How could I forget?

Because I want to?

No, Susan and I were married
for about four years.

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Was knocked down
by a human stampede ♪

♪ Got arrested for inciting
a peaceful riot ♪

[car horns honking]

PETER: New York was
filthy, dirty,

and there wasn't
much prosperity

in the mere fact that
we could live on Madison Avenue

and Chevy on Lexington.

It's just impossible now.

♪♪

His apartment was
just horrible.

There were cockroaches
everywhere.

♪ Gettin' enough... ♪

At that age, somehow we felt
like we owned New York.

♪ Oh, my dear,
I'd better get out of here ♪

♪♪

♪ 'fore the Vatican
don't give no sanction ♪

♪ I wasn't ready
for that, no, no ♪

♪♪

PETER: One day,
I was walking home,

and I bumped
into Chris Guest.

He said, "We're forming
a humor and music group,

and the National Lampoon
Lemmings is producing it.

Wondered if you knew
anyone funny

who could also perform
with an instrument?"

So I said,
"Well, obviously, you know,

we went
to Bard College together,

the three of us,
Chevy is an obvious choice."

And he said,
"Yeah, why don't you tell him

to come
and try out, but...

he's not
my favorite person."

He was well-liked
by many people,

but others didn't get
his sense of humor

and thought he was an asshole.

And so I went back to Chevy's,
and I told him,

and Chevy said,
"I don't know."

Susan said,
"Get out of the bed

and go do something,
you're so lazy."

♪♪

I used to say to Chevy,
"You're not using

your God-given talents,"

so Chevy went down
and tried out,

and, next thing you know,

National Lampoon Lemmings
was formed,

and he was part of the troupe.

♪♪

VOICES:
♪ Whoa, Colorado's calling me ♪

- BELUSHI: Hey, dude!
- [audience laughter]

VOICES: ♪ From her glaciers
and her canyons ♪

- ♪ And her badlands... ♪
- PETER: I went every night,

because it was so funny.

[audience laughter]

CEDERQUIST:
The first half of it was skits,

the second half was
a lampooning

of the Woodstock Concert.

♪ Lonely at
the bottom of the barrel ♪

CEDERQUIST: Chevy played
piano, guitar, drums.

♪ I got into arts and crafts,
lady got into leather ♪

CEDERQUIST:
It was funny as heck to me.

Our mother went, like, once,
and didn't go back.

♪ Oh...♪

[applause]

No, look at this baby.

Look at that.

Say "hi."

This is gonna be
your audience later.

[smooching]

Oh, my goodness.

Isn't this the best cat?

[playing relaxed jazzy melody]

My mother is very musical.

She was a concert pianist.

She didn't follow up on it.

But I could hear her
once in a while

playing something like Debussy

or Chopin or...

They had a beautiful touch.

Like notes of,
like, a string with pearls.

CHEVY:
I started playing the piano

'cause it was there, basically.

Tinkling on it
and taught myself

over the last 50 years.

♪♪

I play by ear,
and I don't read music.

My brother and I would
listen to jazz a lot

on a 78 record player.

That's what sort of
got me doing it,

you know, playing jazz.

It's improvisation,
which is very close to acting.

[playing upbeat melody]

LORNE MICHAELS: Mel Brooks
once defined comedy

as polite hostility.

Once you lose that,
once you limit yourself

to saying,
well, that's not funny,

or that can't be funny,
or you can't do jokes on that,

then you've limited yourself
to the point

where you're ineffective
as a comedian.

Lorne Michaels, when he's given
the job to develop a show

for Saturday nights,
he's got a blank slate.

MICHAELS: I'd spent my 20s
in a television studio,

so I was comfortable
in that environment.

We were... just filled
with possibility

of what we could do
and what we couldn't do.

ALAN ZWEIBEL:
When I met with Lorne,

he described this new show.

It spun my head around.

He said it would be live,

be 11:30 to 1:00
on Saturday night.

And I go, "What?!"

Who's gonna watch that?
You know, angry people.

People who are not
getting laid.

CHEVY: I got a call.
Lorne said,

"Do you wanna start
this show with me?"

MARINA: If you could
try to look at me

instead of looking
directly into camera,

- unless you--
- It's hard for me.

- Why?
- Because I invented

Weekend Update
so I could look in the camera.

Tell me about that.

[soft chuckle]

The fuck, man?

What the fucking shit, man?

[soft laughter]

MICHAELS:
I wanted him to be a writer.

But he really wanted
to be in the cast,

and I had room
for only six people.

We had our final reading
of the first script

with all of us
around a big table,

and I did some reading.

He was funny
in what I would describe

as the right kind of way,

and he had
a level of confidence.

CHEVY: I think he saw that,
given the cast,

that I could be
the handsome one.

Live from New York,
it's Saturday night!

- [clattering]
- [audience laughter]

AYKROYD: I had heard
of Chevy's reputation,

what a spectacular
physical comedian he was,

how funny, how gifted,
just masterful physical comedy.

- [clattering]
- [audience laughter]

What's wrong with expressing
our patriotism?

I'm proud to diaper my baby
with the stars and the stripes,

or to stroll
on the boardwalk

wearing an Old Glory
leisure suit.

MILLER: Chevy winds up being
the last one officially hired,

and, interesting point,
does not sign a contract.

...so I can be reminded,
again and again,

and again...

MILLER:
Gives him a sense of freedom.

If you sign that contract,
you're not going anywhere else.

I refer to saliva
disbursement difficulties,

or as we are sometimes
called, "droolers."

[audience laughter]

We at the Droolers
Anti-Defamation League

are working to correct
the negative image

of droolers propagated
by the media.

MIKE OVITZ: When I saw
"Saturday Night Live,"

it absolutely
blew my doors off,

and I set out to sign
everyone on the show.

No, New Shimmer is
a dessert topping.

It's a floor wax!

It's a dessert topping!

It's a floor wax,
I'm telling you--

It's a dessert topping,
you cow!

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
calm down, you two,

New Shimmer's a floor wax
and a dessert topping.

[audience laughter]

MILLER: Automatically,
he's markedly different.

Chevy doesn't really care
about being liked.

You're doing
very well so far.

- Thank you.
- Everybody loves the show.

- The song was great, and...
- Thank you.

...all I can say is
relax and take your shirt off.

[audience laughter]

MILLER: All too soon,
he's giving notes

to his other cast members.

MICHAELS: Danny came up
to my office, he said,

"You gotta talk to Chase,"
and I said, "What?"

He said, "He gave me notes
on my Scottish accent."

MILLER:
That's not a great recipe

for being one of the gang.

ZWEIBEL: "Carol Burnett" was
the big show at the time.

Won Emmy after Emmy.

Chevy or Lorne would say,
"If you come up with an idea,"

the understanding was,
"Okay, Carol Burnett would

do it this way,
how are we gonna do it?"

It's just a word association,
I'll throw you out a few words.

Anything that comes
to your mind,

just throw back at me,
okay, just kind of

an arbitrary thing,
like if I said dog,

you'd say...

- Tree.
- Tree.

JAY CHANDRASEKHAR:
These little asides about

drugs and sex and race

and, you know, he sort of
personified that--

that dangerous quality

that "Saturday Night Live" had
at the time.

Negro.

- Whitey.
- [audience laughter]

Tar baby.

[audience laughter]

What'd you say?

Lorne had said
from the very beginning,

"Let's just make
each other laugh,

and if we do that,
we'll put it on television."

It was exciting,
and it was terrifying.

- Spear-chucker.
- White trash.

- Jungle bunny.
- Honky!

[audience laughter]

- Spade!
- Honky-honky!

[audience laughter]

- Nigger.
- Dead honky.

[laughter and applause]

He became a writer for me.

I never asked him to do it.

He came in to say,

"Hey, I'm gonna write
for your ass."

And now as a public service
to those of our viewers

who have difficulty
with their hearing,

- our top story tonight...
- Our top story!

- President Ford is finally...
- President Ford!

...over that stubborn
week-long cold.

...over that stubborn!
Week-long cold!

MORRIS: The news
for the hard of hearing

is a piece
that he came up with

which only he and I did.

HOST: And now,
"Weekend Update"

with Chevy Chase.

No...

I love it
when you make noise.

[audience laughter]

Remember when--
I gotta go.

[phone clinks]

Good evening, I'm Chevy Chase,
and you're not.

His delivery,
"I'm Chevy Chase,

and you're not,"
you know, the arrogance

of the WASP-y upper class,

it worked perfectly
for the acerbic tone

of Update.

Originally, he had
a funny name for his character,

and I went,
"No, just say your real name."

Two weeks late,
that could be emotion.

[audience laughter]

Don't worry about it,
I'll take care of it, okay?

Okay, goodbye, Barbara--
Margaret, I'm sorry.

[audience laughter]

Good evening,
I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

Lorne used to describe
the ratings,

that it would start,
and then would get a bump

at Weekend Update.

The President is seen here
wearing a corsage

given to him at an artificial
limb-maker's convention.

MILLER: Chevy had this runway
in Weekend Update.

They created an environment
where he could be himself.

That's when he starts
to really make

a much larger impression.

♪♪

There was something
that was so much just fun

about all the things
that he would do,

and he was fearless.

Oh, hi.

I'm Ronald Reagan.

Oh, sure, I play
the organ too.

[laughing]

PAUL SHAFFER:
"Saturday Night Live" was

sort of an extension
of '60s counter-culture,

and recreational drugs,

what can you say, they were--

they were absolutely everywhere
at that time.

♪♪

ZWEIBEL:
We started making money, and...

Tuesday became the late night on
the show to write the scripts.

Because read-through was
on Wednesday,

and to help stay up
as we made money,

people were doing drugs.

[phone ringing]

- Hello?
- [audience laughter]

CHEVY: Everybody was
taking cocaine on the show.

You have a disposable income
you never had, and...

the drug cocaine is not
a friend of any personality,

I don't think-- you know,
Gilda called it

the devil's dandruff.

I tried every powder
and pill going.

We all did back then.

I didn't much like
the coke, though.

MILLER: The person
that they worried about the most

was Chevy.

He was...
doing a lot of drugs.

♪♪

SHUSHTER: Handling
a lot of fame really fast,

while on drugs,
when you don't have

the strongest
emotional foundation,

that's a lot
to stay balanced--

to stay upright
on your surfboard

in such choppy surf.

He was the one
that people went nuts over.

Gilda once told me
that she went to Florida,

and her mother said,

"Do you, like,
really know him?"

Feeling famous wasn't
a big deal to me.

I didn't care one way
or the other, really.

MARINA: Let's start again
so you say it

in a complete sentence.

You bitch.

Okay!

I was on a bus.
I looked up.

And there was
a picture of me

on the cover
of New York magazine.

And I realized,
that's it, I'm famous.

Then I just looked around
at everybody like this.

[applause]

ZWEIBEL:
We go to the Emmy Awards,

- and...
- The nominees are...

...we were at
the grownups table now.

It was Carol Burnett.
There's the old guard.

And here were these
bunch of hooligans, you know,

dressed in tuxedos.

And the winner is...

Chevy Chase!
NBC's "Saturday Night."

[band playing]

MICHAELS: At the Emmys,
we all won for writing,

and I won for best show,

and it was, wow, you know,

uh, impossible
not to get carried away.

Needless to say,
this is, uh...

totally expected
on my part.

- [laughter]
- Uh...

CHEVY: Jacqueline,
she was beautiful.

I would show her picture
to Lorne and say,

"Well, you know--"
Lorne would say,

"You don't love her."

"What do you mean?
Look at her."

PETER: He fell in love
with Jacqueline.

That was a tactical error
on many levels.

CHEVY: Jacqueline wouldn't
move to New York City,

and I wanted to be with her.

There was those rumors
that, you know,

he was given an ultimatum
by Jacqueline.

STAGE MANAGER: Okay,
quiet on the floor, please.

MILLER: He said, "My girlfriend
wants to live in LA."

It spoke to people
thinking he was disingenuous.

MARINA: You guys all went
to LA for his wedding.

Yeah, and I remember being
on the plane, everyone--

there was a lottery,
we wrote down dates that

we thought that
there would-- you know,

the divorce
would happen, okay?

So it was like, "Yeah, yeah,
this is gonna last."

[laughing]
Oh, God.

[laughing]

CHEVY:
I was just off.

I don't think
I really understood

what I wanted.

[laughter and applause]

ZWEIBEL: A birdy told Gilda,
and Gilda told me.

That's how I found out
that Chevy was leaving the show.

It was shocking.

We-- We just started.

We were just at the Emmys
where all the grownups

are first finding out
what-- who we are

and what we're doing.
Why now?

I never had any plans ever.

Uh, I had agents

who had plans.

So... and at the time
I was hot,

so it wasn't too tough
for the agents to see that.

I said,
"We're just beginning here,

and I think
you're at the center of it,"

but we were never gonna fight.

Neither of us
would've done that.

[applause]

The forces pulling him were

money, power,
and all of that,

and when Hollywood wants you,
they're pretty good at it.

SHAFFER: He used to say,

"Jackie doesn't like me
when I'm performing.

I turn into somebody.

My ego comes out,

and she doesn't like it.

She would rather
I just be a writer."

In hindsight,

I felt it was a mistake

to...

leave "SNL."

It really was
the kind of show that

I was a part of making,
with Lorne.

And it's the kind of thing
I wanted to do.

This is a weekly pull.
Chevy gets fan mail weekly.

And it's kind of
a massive amount,

- so this is sort of...
- A little bit.

This is half
of a weekly amount.

This looks good,
it's "priority-tet."

- That means it's from Poland.
- Let's see what we got.

I hope there are
no animal parts in there.

"I would like to write you
a big thank you

for all the excellent roles,
and the endless emotions

- that I experienced."
- Thank you.

"One of the films which I am
emotionally attached to

is 'Foul Play,'
if you could find a moment

to sign the photos, it would be
priceless for me to have."

Sometimes you get
mail from dogs,

actual animals.

Joy Heath.
[sniffs]

"Please shoot my husband."

GANINO: We met about
four or five years ago.

I was brought on
to bring him to some state,

it might've been
Chicago or Wisconsin,

or something like that,
and we started traveling,

and then we just hang out,
our families got along.

They get along really well,
and we started

doing things together with
my children and his children.

And we just bonded
like that, and--

- Yep.
- I don't know--

I don't even-- I don't know
how we became so close.

But we're here
and we enjoy it.

Well, it was your
homosexual proclivities, but--

One time I didn't have
a shirt on,

it wasn't my fault.

"I'm a great admirer
and fan of yours.

I love your performances
in 'National Lampoon Vacation'

and 'Community.'
Thank you for being

one of my biggest role models."

"My fiancée and I...

would be ecstatic
if you attended our wedding."

- Okay.
- Here's one from Spud.

- Spud Toomer.
- Boy.

"I sincerely appreciate
you taking the time

to read my letter, I truly enjoy
being part of your career

and admire everything
you accomplished."

He wants you to sign... these.

Should I write
"To Spud Toomer"?

- Yeah.
- "Wonderful prose."

Wonderful prose.

GANINO:
I was doing the fan mail,

and I opened it up,
and it says,

"Chevy, just wanna wish you
a happy 80th birthday.

Miss you so much," you know,
"love to see you soon."

And then it said,
"Bill Clinton, love you."

And I was like,
"Holy cow, man,

you just got a birthday card
from Bill Clinton."

CHEVY: Yeah.

You know,
I really regard Bill

as one of
our greatest presidents.

Really bright,
intelligent guy.

Not terribly humorous.

[as Bill Clinton]
"Hello, Chevy, how're you?

Thanks for calling.

Hillary's on my head
right now.

She's sitting on my head.

She's stark naked.
I'll call you later."

This is the way I am
at my age.

Just a child.

- GANINO: Yep.
- An angry child.

[chuckling]

Hello.

You, what are you doing here?

Two years after
a premiere of a show

where no one knows him.

Now co-starring Goldie Hawn.

GOLDIE HAWN:
I didn't really know him.

I knew he was funny.

And then I went up
to the office to meet him,

and I opened the door,
and there comes this 6'4" guy.

He's handsome.
He's got presence.

I mean,
aside from being funny,

but I mean, he really was
kind of adorable.

And I was wearing
sort of a purse,

it was crocheted,
but it was shapeless,

but it did look
like an udder of a cow.

He literally took his hand
and lifted it on my purse,

and he said, "Cough."

That's a funny group
for Turk to belong to.

Hey-- I play detective,
you play lady in distress.

Hey, wait a minute,
it's my ass they're after.

I'm sorry, you're right,

it is your ass they're after,
and it's my job

to see to it
that I get there first.

[chuckling]
...I could honestly go on

about how amazing
a chemistry we had.

We really were aligned
in our timing,

and we could feel each other.

[applause]

MILLER: Chevy has
a great starting vehicle.

It's not that
things are easy for him,

but that who Chevy is,

in his gumption
and confidence,

it plays well
out in Hollywood.

He's off and running.

HAWN:
I was a single parent.

I had two children,
Katie and Oliver.

We went out together.

We were both presenting
something at an event,

and then we came back together,

and Oliver,
he had fallen asleep

in front
of the television set.

And he went over to him...

and he picked him up...

and he carried him to bed.

And he came down the stairs,
and he looked at me,

he said, "Go up,
he's waiting for you."

And I went upstairs, and I sat
with Oliver for a while.

And then I came downstairs.

And he was playing
the piano, softly.

And he looked up at me,
and he said...

"I can't believe
you're doing all this alone."

He cared.

And that's the other part
of the wild man.

The man who fell
over everything.

The guy who had faux pas.

The really funny,
wacky, crazy guy.

Also has a deep heart.

[playing gentle melody]

["Hollywood Nights," Bob Seger
and the Silver Bullet Band]

[cheering and applause]

REPORTER: Chevy Chase,
one of the most

successful alumni
of "Saturday Night Live,"

is back up on the big screen.

This your place, Carl?

Yeah, what do you think?

It's really--
It's really awful.

Oh, sit down, come on--

No, I don't wanna stick
to anything in here.

"Caddyshack" is probably
the biggest showcase

for all the things
that are Chevy Chase.

He's sexy,
he's debonair,

he's cool, he's funny,

it's all there.

Ty, what'd you shoot today?

Oh, I don't keep score, judge.

Oh, well,
how do you measure yourself

- with other golfers?
- By height.

REYNOLDS:
As a kid, I studied him.

He would throw away the gold

and push the silver, right?

Like, he would say
something that is like,

that's funny,
and then under the breath

quickly throw away something,
that's the A-plus joke.

I'm gonna end up working in a
lumber yard the rest of my life.

What's wrong with lumber?
I own two lumber yards.

I notice you don't spend
too much time there.

- I'm not sure where they are.
- MILLER: "Caddyshack" is

one of the greatest comedies
ever made, bar none.

And you can't do it without him.

♪ And those Hollywood nights ♪

♪ In those Hollywood hills ♪

♪ She was looking so right ♪

♪ In her diamonds and frills ♪

♪ Oh, those big city nights ♪

He was cerebral,
he was funny,

and he was handsome, too.

- ♪ Who's the ♪
- ♪ Moosiest moose we know? ♪

♪ Marty Moose! ♪

♪ Marty Moose!
Marty Moose! Marty Moose! ♪

[cartoonish]
Hyuck! That's me! Hahaha!

SMITH: The "National Lampoon's
Vacation" came out.

My parents were like,

"Oh, my God, this happened?!

Like, this happened to us!"

MARTY MOOSE:
Sorry, folks, we're closed

for two weeks
to clean and repair

America's favorite
family fun park.

Sorry!
Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck!

[groaning]

REYNOLDS: I think
dads everywhere understood

Clark Griswold.

At first I didn't wanna
take this vacation.

And now I'm glad I did.

It's given me a chance
to spend a lot more time

- with you and...
- Audrey.

Audrey, yeah.

REPORTER:
"National Lampoon's Vacation"

with Chevy Chase took in

$49.4 million
at the box office.

Chevy had massive,
massive movie star hits.

Ah-ah-ah-ah, new car,
I'll take it.

- Waitress?
- HOST: He's got it all,

ladies and gentlemen,
Chevy Chase.

- [applause]
- Here is Chevy Chase!

[applause]

OVITZ:
He gave me a Cartier clock,

and on the back of it,
it was engraved,

"Keep getting me
the six million."

[laughing]

HOST:
Chevy Chase!

[applause]

ATTENDING NURSE:
May I help you, Doctor...

Oh, it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis,
I'm just here to check out--

- Doctor who?
- --the family's file.

Dr. Rosen-Rosen,
I'm here to--

Could you give
that name again, I--

It's Dr. Rosen,
I-- I wanna check out--

- Doctor who?
- Dr. Rosen.

Where's the record room?

REYNOLDS: In my early days,
if you watch "Van Wilder,"

I'm just doing
a Chevy Chase impression.

- Where am I?
- You're in the records room.

Can I get you something?

Uh, yeah, do you have
The Beatles' "White Album"?

I've seen "Fletch,"
I don't know, 75 times.

Oh, I just got
out of the shower.

Yeah-- can I borrow
your towel for a sec?

My car just hit a water buffalo.

[laughing]

PETER:
For me, the height

of Chevy's filmmaking was

"National Lampoon
Christmas Vacation."

I just can't get enough
of that movie.

There are plenty
of shopping days left

until adulteries-- adulthood--
which is to say Christmas.

Chevy made movies that you wanna
see over and over again.

- What is your objective?
- My objective?

Well, I object to taking
a girl out, you know,

and buying her dinner, and then
she won't put out for you.

- I'm Lucky Day!
- I'm Ned Nederlander!

And I'm Dusty Bottoms,
and together we're--

--the Three Amigos!

[all cough]

♪ Hollywood nights ♪

D'ANGELO:
The thing about fame is that

it doesn't really change you,

it's that everything
around you changes.

♪ Thrills... ♪

If you were
at Yankee Stadium with Chevy,

everyone at Yankee Stadium
would know he was there.

♪♪

♪ Above all the lights ♪

CHEVY: Good evening,
and welcome

to the 59th Annual
Academy Awards show.

My name is Chevy Chase,
I feel privileged

to be your host
this evening.

I'm really a replacement.
I'm sorry to have to tell you

that Jim and Tammy Baker
couldn't make it tonight.

[audience laughter]

♪♪

SHAFFER: There's nothing
like when Chevy Chase is

coming into a restaurant.
I've never seen-- you know,

wow, the people's heads
snap around.

Chevy is
a bona fide movie star.

- ♪ Those Hollywood nights... ♪
- [screaming]

♪ Those Hollywood hills ♪

♪ Above all the lights ♪

♪ Hollywood nights ♪

JAYNI CHASE:
I met Chevy when I was 23.

So, I was two years
out of college.

It was my second job.

Working on a Chevy Chase movie.

The last thing
I wanted was to...

fall in love.

Yeah.

- MARINA: Um...
- Chevy's calling.

- [laughing]
- MARINA: Take it!

Hi, honey!

CHEVY: Hi, don't forget
to mention how much

we make love every day.

[laughing]

Okay, I'm on camera,
so they might've captured that.

- [laughing]
- And three times on weekends.

- Goodbye!
- Okay, love you, honey.

[laughing]

CHEVY: I was working on a movie
called "Under the Rainbow."

Jayni was the production
coordinator in it.

My trailer was
pulled right up...

near to where
the production unit was.

And I could hear her voice.

And I'd think,
"What a beautiful voice."

But I never looked
to see who it was.

Finally, I sort of
did this, you know,

where you look in the door.

And I saw her,
and she was gorgeous.

We were shooting
at Union Station, Downtown LA.

It was the end of the day,
and he came up and said,

"Would you go with me
to the premiere

of my movie tonight?

Goldie is in Paris,

and Jessica Lange...

or some other actress
has the flu."

And I looked up, I said,
"Not if I'm third choice."

And he looked very crestfallen.

Oh...

Wasn't my job to give him
his call time,

but I offered
to call him with it.

And he came on
all out of breath,

and I said,
"Do you still want me

to come with you tonight?"
And he said, "Really?"

We went,
and that was the beginning

of my falling in love
with him.

♪ Thanks for droppin' by ♪

♪ I never thought
to ask you why ♪

CHEVY: Through one machination
or another, I managed

to get her on my side.

JAYNI:
We had a very small wedding

in the backyard,

including the caterers,
40 people.

She's the great love
of my life.

She's only
three feet tall-- no.

[laughing]

CHEVY:
We were married...

and...

it's only a year since
he saw that last tape.

And look what's happened.

- JAYNI: This is Cydney.
- It's Cydney.

[soft chatter]

JAYNI: The way
he took care of me

when I was pregnant.

And at all the birthings
of the girls,

and seeing him as a daddy,

and how happy it made him.

- CHEVY: Hi, pee-wees!
- Hi, Dad!

They go through
their ups and downs,

I mean, it's not perfect.

but they really hold on

to one another,
and they really love each other.

CHEVY: She's beautiful
and smart as a whip.

I don't have much to say
about her that isn't good.

MARINA: No, I know,
but it's just nice

after hearing about Jacqueline
and what have you--

[burp]

Oh, I'm sorry.
Your mistake?

--that you found someone
and that you're--

you know, you have
three beautiful daughters.

Yeah, no, I don't think
a lot of people have

the happiness I have.

Marriages are breaking up,

kids do bad things--
all that stuff

that is family stuff,
it's tough.

Not just in America,
but even worse,

in let's say Russia,
or because--

it must be nice
to be a Russian family, huh?

Pass the fork.

Thank you.
Come on.

Oh, thanks.

[Ganino murmuring]

[horn honking]

[Chevy murmuring]

GANINO: Hi.

CHEVY: Hello.

- What's his name?
- That's Rubet.

She will be 11 in July.

- Oh, cool.
- Yeah.

I have
a couple of 17 year olds.

- Really?
- And... a 23 year old.

We have everything.

Cats, dogs,

- we have a pelican.
- Really?

- No.
- [laughing]

- Do I have a picture of my dog?
- Yeah.

- That's my granddaughter.
- Cute.

- She's only seven months.
- Seven months, wow.

- She speaks French.
- Really?

- No.
- [laughing]

[chuckling]
I'll just keep lying to you.

- I keep buying it.
- Well, I'll have a steak.

- [laughing]
- No, I'm kidding.

We came in to get some flowers.
They're for my wife.

I have you on file,
so if you wanna know, like,

- what you got last time--
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Let's look.
- Yeah, let me take a look.

Oh...

- beautiful.
- They're actually tulips.

They're not peonies.
These are tulips.

- They look like peonies.
- Yeah, those are tulips.

- That's your license.
- What?

- That's your license.
- Yeah, I want you

- to drive my car over here.
- Oh, yeah?

[chuckling]

What did I just give you
my license for?

- This is what I meant.
- Perfect, thank you.

[chuckling]

These are for Jayni, my wife.

[coughing]

I love her.

[loud chewing]

If she doesn't love 'em,
you tell me, but I'm--

I guarantee
she'll love 'em.

Do you want me
to sign something?

- No, you're good.
- What do you mean I'm good?

- I don't know what they cost.
- They're $400.

- $400?
- Yeah.

What?!

For a little thing of flowers?

That's a big thing,
I can give you a little thing.

- I'll bet you can.
- [laughter]

Yeah, okay, never mind.

Oh, they really are pretty.

Yeah, these are
particularly special.

We don't have
these in regularly,

- you can't always get those.
- Peonies?

No, those are
actually tulips--

I know, I know,
I was kidding you.

[coughing]

By the way,
that's why I drive.

- Yeah.
- For people like you.

[laughing]
Thank you.

GREISMAN: We spent
a lot of time together

in the late '70s

and early '80s.

He was uniquely funny

and pretty crazy.

When we were in Hawaii,

he had somebody

ship in
many ounces of coke

in a special
shaving cream can,

which you could twist
in a certain way

and get to the coke.

[chuckling]

Every so often,
we'd have some cocaine

flown in from the...
from the mainland.

"Mail's here!"

Anyway.
[laughing]

NED:
When I would visit Chevy in LA,

I remember going
to one restaurant,

and it was a circular table,

and I think
there were about...

maybe six to eight of us
around the table.

And the only person
I knew was Chevy.

But in the center of the table,

there was,
like, a lazy Susan.

There was kind of a pyramid.

That pyramid was cocaine.

[as Donald Duck]
Oh, boy!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

[heavy sniffing]

MILLER: "Modern Problems,"
there's such a thin line

between what's going on

in the movie
and in his life.

Yes!

[laughing]
I like it!

The night before
we were starting to shoot

"Modern Problems,"
Chevy just calls up,

he's like,
"I'm not doing the movie,

you have to fix the script."

Alan Greisman, Ken Shapiro,
and I go up to Chevy's house.

We start to go over
the script page by page,

and Chevy pours coke
on the table

and starts sniffing it.

'Cause there
you're supposed to be having

a rational discussion about
a movie that you're gonna do,

and he's just snorting coke
like there's no tomorrow.

We're sitting there,
kind of...

not really wanting some,
but maybe, you know,

but he's not
offering us any, okay?

So we're in that space, okay,

who does cocaine alone
in front of other people?

GREISMAN: So, by the time
we're three-quarters

of the way
through the critique,

he says, "You know what,
I disagree with myself."

So rationality was not high
on the agenda.

[soft music]

Chevy had a weird relationship

with the director
Ken Shapiro.

CHEVY: Kenny wanted me to play
a dream that I was a plane,

landing.

He put landing lights
on my arms.

They flipped the switch,
and he was uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

And they thought
he was joking,

so they let it go longer
than they "coulda, shoulda."

All of a sudden,
he, like, passes out.

So, the EMT's come, okay?

And they do these questions,
how many fingers

am I holding up?
Do you know what day it is?

And what's your name?"

And he goes,
"Don't you know who I am?"

I mean, and my memory
of that is that...

oh, come now.

I'm not saying
he didn't feel something,

but he certainly didn't
get electrocuted,

or a full dose of something.

Chevy, you don't want
to work with him

because he can be
so unpleasant

and so gratuitously mean.

And I don't think
he knows that he is.

I think it's just--

it's an instinct.

[soft music]

OVITZ: Sometimes, you know,
he was his own worst enemy.

He would do things...

that were emotional
or fought off insecurity

that he shouldn't've done.

MARINA: Would you ever try to
talk to him about it? I mean--

Yeah, I was very open
with him about it,

and, um...

to his credit,
he would listen.

Whether he would take
the advice or not

remained to be seen.

SHUSHTER: On the surface,
Chevy looks like the guy that

everything went perfect for.

It wasn't really the case,
you know?

There was--
There was some darkness.

MARINA:
Did anyone tell you

about the Terry Sweeney
incident?

I was there for it, yeah.

["SNL" theme music]

HOST: It's Saturday Night Live!

[cheering and applause]

With host Chevy Chase!

MILLER:
When Chevy came back to host,

I don't think
anyone is prepared

for the Chevy that shows up.

I always felt like...

it was beneath him to do this.

I've gotten to know
the cast very well,

it's a great new cast,
I hope you saw last week's show;

if you didn't, this week,
you're gonna meet them.

They're a wonderful group
of 28 kids...

[laughter]

That's not true,
there are only about seven.

MILLER: He was really tough
on the furniture that week.

Particularly Terry Sweeney,

who was the first

openly gay cast member
of "SNL."

- Uh, President Kennedy?
- Very good job.

He had this wonderfully
warm icebreaker

with Terry Sweeney, which was,
"You're gay, right?"

And Terry said, "Yes, what would
you like me to do for you?"

And Chevy said, "You can start
by licking my balls."

And then, of course,
it went downhill from there.

MICHAELS: I think
Chevy was just being Chevy.

He would say things
that were funny,

but he assumed that

you were comedy people
and you could speak that way.

You know, we would say
terrible things

because that's
what would make us laugh.

It wasn't-- we didn't tell
anecdotes, you know.

MARINA: You said
to Terry Sweeney,

"Oh, you're the gay guy,
why don't we do something

where we say you have AIDS,

and then every week
we weigh you."

[laughing]

That's the worst.

Ron, how are you?

Nancy.
Just terrific, Jerry.

- How's Betty?
- Oh, she's fine.

[audience laughter]

CHEVY:
Terry Sweeney, I mean,

he was very funny,
this guy.

I don't think
he's alive anymore,

Terry Sweeney.
I hope he isn't,

because I don't want you
talking to him about this.

- MARINA: He's alive.
- Is he?

- Yeah, and I think--
- How do you know?

'Cause I looked him up
on Google,

- I mean, is he alive?
- ASSISTANT: He's alive.

- He's alive.
- Oh-- he's alive!

The gay guy!

MARINA: Oh, God.

No, I think,
I think, and this is--

But the idea
of weighing him, come on,

that's-- that's clearly me--

MARINA: No, yeah, his--
I think his recollection

is different.

- Oh, what's his--
- He was very hurt--

- Oh.
- --by, yeah, so.

Well, when did you talk to him?

MARINA:
I haven't talked to him.

Well, then, how do
you know he was hurt?

MARINA: Because I've heard it
from other people.

Other people have told you
that I hurt his feelings?

MARINA:
Yeah, it's, like, in books.

I have to be going now.

I'll leave you two leaders
alone to talk.

I'm gonna take Lucky
for a walk.

MARINA: I think
you hurt his feelings,

- and...
- What book is this?

ASSISTANT:
Should I read this?

- Yeah, read it out.
- All right.

Come over here,
so he can hear you.

Oh, this is great, thanks.

This'll make my day.

"Chevy turned to me,
and he said,

'Oh, you're the gay guy, right?'

And he said, 'I've got
an idea for a sketch for you.'

'How about we say you have AIDS,

and we weigh you
every week.'

It was out of place, so then
he ended up having to apologize

and actually come
into my office.

He was really furious
that he had to apologize to me.

He was just beside himself,
and it was just awful."

None of that's true.
I would remember that.

- MARINA: You would?
- Yeah!

That I--
That I was angry

that I had
to apologize to him?

Good God, Chevy,
what's wrong with you?

I mean, of course I--
that's just not true.

My memory is that
he's lying, is my memory.

He's not telling the truth.

That isn't me.
That's not how I am.

And if I am that way,

my life has changed, 'cause
I have to live with that now,

for the rest
of my fucking life

because you guys got a book out
and read it to me.

I'd like to think the...
[mutters quickly]

...good night.

MILLER:
Within the next week,

it was all over the place.

And you know, people
who left that week saying,

"I never wanna see
the guy again."

Look, there are
certain people who've got

reputations
that you don't want.

Um...

[chuckling]
...Chevy...

The old Chevy...

could make you laugh
putting you down,

and there was a little bit
of a wink there,

so you were in on the joke.

But now it just
comes off as mean.

MARINA: It's kind of
the elephant in the room.

I'm sorry, go ahead.

The elephant
in the room, yeah.

MARINA:
That there are two camps.

There are the people
who love you,

and the people
who don't like you.

Okay, I don't know
what to say about the people

who don't like me,
except fuck 'em.

What can you say, actually,
about something like that?

I can't say
they're misunderstanding me,

because maybe they're not,
by their standard.

Uh, I just prefer to be liked.

Not disliked.

Like all of us.

[soft music]

JAYNI: Our doctor,
the ear, nose, and throat guy,

called me
and asked me to come in,

and he needed to talk to me.

And he explained to me

that Chevy was
addicted to cocaine.

MILLER:
Cocaine one-upped him.

He was no longer in control,

and for a guy
who loves being in control,

I think it was
a very, very dark,

dangerous journey.

CEDERQUIST:
He's had many times

where he was doing
just fine,

and then something happens,

and that's-- you know,
it's a disease of relapse,

and you know,
it's never a wonder...

[chuckling]
...that an addict uses.

It's a miracle
if an addict doesn't.

JAYNI:
So we did an intervention.

He said, "I-- I know
I need-- I need to stop.

And I know I need help."

Well, comedian Chevy Chase
will be off the job for a while.

A spokesman says that
the reason is a drug problem.

SMITH: The first time
I ever heard of

the Betty Ford Clinic was

in relation
to Chevy Chase going there,

and my mother having
to be like,

"Well, that's
where the rich people go

when they've had
too much to drink."

JAYNI:
He went to Betty Ford,

but after a week,
he called me

and begged me
to come pick him up.

REPORTER: Doctors released
comedian Chevy Chase

from the Betty Ford
Drug Rehabilitation Center

over the weekend.
According to a spokeswoman,

his system is
cleaned of drugs.

You know,
the actual addiction

or the...

the things
he's gone through,

I've come to see it
as an illness.

The fact that
he has overcome that,

that's another thing
he's overcome.

MILLER:
There's good news and bad news.

Because, if you go
through rehab,

and you're successful,

then you're moving on
with a healthier life.

The problem is
that all the crutches,

all the vehicles
that you used

to get through
certain situations,

they're all gone.

And it turns out that

that inner core,
that raw nature,

can be incredibly mean.

[gentle music]

ANDY:
He made these huge movies,

he was one
of the biggest stars going...

and then he made
a couple of ones

that weren't--
didn't do that great.

GREISMAN:
Because he was who he is,

even on the way to the top,

he was not a good guy.

But I can't imagine how he was

on the way to the bottom.

I mean, basically
I'll just yell,

and I'll yell,
"Help, hey, you guys, hey!"

- Yeah, keep it going.
- Yeah.

VOICE: Speed, mark.

JOHN CARPENTER:
And... light!

CHEVY: Hey, help! Up here!

- Now over to number two.
- Help!

Bang away!

Chevy Chase,
I wanted to quit the business

after working with him.

VOICE: Really,
what was the movie--

CARPENTER:
"Memoirs of an Invisible Man."

Um, it...

he was a producer
on this thing.

VOICE: So you're directing,
and he's, like,

- got this attitude.
- Oh, yeah, it... it was bad.

VOICE: Was it one of those
things where they had

- to shut things down--
- No, no, it was not that way.

I just-- I took it all in
and just internalized it.

But that was my...
uh, that was my...

- worst... worst.
- [laughing]

It's a great movie,
I'm very happy with it.

- You play an invisible man.
- I play the Invisible Man.

I sincerely think
that this is by far and away

the best picture I've made,
which is...

- Really.
- ...according to some critics

the equivalent of a mutt saying,
"I just had a beautiful dump."

FILM CRITIC:
"Memoirs of an Invisible Man"

is a mediocre movie
that can't make up its mind

what it wants to be.

Chase is fine
when the going gets funny.

Unfortunately,
when he's called upon to act,

he turns amateurish."

OVITZ: I'm gonna say something
that I probably shouldn't,

but I never got the sense

that Chevy was
as serious about his career

as his career was serious.

We had clients that were
so focused on building

and what role went next,

and... um...

he didn't think that way.

I don't think he took himself
as seriously as he was taken.

MARINA: How did
the talk show come about?

You know, it's funny,
I knew you'd ask me

this question.
I hated the idea.

Bruce Bodner was Chevy's lawyer

morphed into his manager.

Bruce was very influential
on his life.

He really had Chevy's ear.

Thought it was a good idea,
those of us around him didn't.

REPORTER:
There's a lot to be done...

- [cat meowing]
- ...as Chevy Chase starts

his quest for a chunk of the
late night talk show audience.

The pressure is,
can I do it?

And the anticipation is,
can I do it?

MARINA: You did a talk show,
what was that like?

Short.
[laughing]

Thanks for asking.

I never took
anybody's advice

about how to do
a talk show.

I didn't-- I can do it,
I kept thinking.

He came to me and said,
"Do you wanna work on it?"

Um, and I was like, yeah.

JAYNI: If there's anything
I could change,

it's that period of time...

that kind of took us to
"Memoirs of an Invisible Man"

and the talk show.

ANDY: The closer
we got to the airdate,

the more we started
to feel like...

this ship is not upright.

So I have a pain in my...
my chest right in here,

and some numbness
going down my arm.

Otherwise,
I'm kind of nervous.

ANDY: I don't think
it was well thought-through.

They just had this idea,
oh, he's funny,

he's a big star,
we'll put him on TV,

and it'll work.

[cheering and applause]

ANNOUNCER: And now, he's still
not ready for primetime,

Chevy Chase!

[house band playing]

[cheering and applause]

OVITZ:
It wasn't Chevy's forte.

Chevy was not a guy
who could do stand-up comedy.

President Clinton is appearing
on "Nightline" tonight

to discuss
his healthcare plan further.

If you're watching him--
or, excuse me,

if you're watching me
instead of him,

I'm flattered, but I think
maybe you should see a doctor,

because that's just a sign
of how really sick you are.

- [rimshot]
- ANDY: I think the show needed

a different kind of producer,
the person that got--

had a long history
of television producing,

but it was really
old-time TV comedy.

Uh, I-- I feel
like a hundred dollars.

- [audience laughter]
- [rimshot]

You know...
I don't want this.

I-- I want you out.

- [laughter]
- CYDNEY: I remember

being on set and...

it felt like
I wanted him to relax.

He felt nervous to me.

CHEVY:
It was hideous.

I just didn't really
have a sense of

what you do on a talk show.

It's basically
a true story, and it--

it's based on
sort of the dilemma

of a kid who's brought up
with a father

who really cares about him,
but he's also very close

to a member of
kind of the mob, I mean...

- Roll the clip.
- [audience laughter]

That's a hard thing to do
every night for an hour.

It's almost impossible,
if you wanna know the truth.

You have to know something
about everything.

You have to be well-read.

You have to understand
current events.

You have to know
who your guest is,

and there are
five of them a night.

CHEVY: I don't know
how people like Letterman

and others do it.
I-- it's beyond me.

You can say, well,
it's interesting

to have different people
with different--

yeah, yeah, right.
We're all the same, pretty much,

it's not that interesting.

ANDY: The reviews were
universally terrible,

and Chevy literally would come
into the writers' room

and say, "You guys are
doing a great job,

it is not your fault,
it's my fault."

♪♪

ANDY: There was
a 50th birthday party for Chevy

with a lot of big stars.

It was a huge disappointment

when we learned
at the end of the party

that the show had been
pulled by Fox.

It was my job to tell him
the show was canceled,

and I did it.

CHEVY: I remember
Mike Ovitz saying...

"Do you wanna do another
couple of weeks, or... what?"

I said,
"A couple of weeks?"

"Yeah, I think we're finished,"
you know, and that was it.

[soft music]

CYDNEY: It was kind of
a weird environment...

after his talk show,
and I know my dad

has been depressed.

I knew that at a young age.

And that was sort of hard for me

because, you know,

I would go in and, like,

tug on his shirt, and he'd say,
like, "Not now, honey."

- Huh?
- JAYNI: Where are we?

- What's the date?
- April 19th, 1994.

Four Seasons Hotel,
Washington D.C.

I'm your host, and I'd be happy
to take your order.

CALEY CHASE: One thing
that was interesting

about our household is
that my parents were

pretty open
with some of the things

going on
that were deeper,

depending on our ages.

My parents were
communicating enough

to say there's something
called depression,

and it is hard

for people
to get out of bed.

- JAYNI: Hi!
- Why are you doing this?

[chuckling]

JAYNI: He would get in bed
and not get out.

I didn't understand why.

CHEVY:
My father and mother,

they divorced
when I was around four,

and not many years later,
he married again.

And so did my mother.

NED: John Cederquist,
he married my mother.

He was a psychoanalyst.

He was not like my father.

Humorless.

Humorless.

NED: He was
the father figure,

as our stepfather,

for most of the time
growing up.

CEDERQUIST: My father had
a flash anger,

and he could lash out
with a single blow,

and no talk
before or after.

He did not take to...

anything that
he perceived as insolence.

Chevy was insolent.

The first time we...

stayed together,

the first time
I went to wake him up,

he shuddered.

And he explained,
"Well, my mother would

wake me up
slapping me."

From the time
he was a little guy, wham.

CEDERQUIST:
Our mother was a bag of cats.

Certainly on
the schizoid spectrum.

I felt like

this was
an out-of-control woman,

who I look back on,
and I say,

"I feel sorry for her."

She had her own issues.

Bad ones, but...

she was
physically abusive to me.

EMILY: Oftentimes,
in abusive households,

there's one child
who's the target of the abuse.

And unfortunately he--
he was that.

I would hear stories
from Chevy

about some
of the terrible things

that would happen to him
as a young man.

Things like being locked
in the closet.

There was a cellar,
and he was sent down there

because of
really messing up at school.

CHEVY: My marks stank,

but they stank because,

whereas others would
concentrate on their homework,

I didn't have
a chance at that.

I was always worried
about one thing or another

that had to do
with my own health.

Ned and I were
eating breakfast,

and Cederquist came down

and started slapping me
across the back of the head.

And I stood up
and made it clear,

I didn't think this was
a time for corporal punishment.

And John Cederquist sat down,
and I sat down.

CHEVY:
I knew at that time that

Ned was there for me.

That was a big moment for us.

MARINA:
So, at what point,

or was there a point
where you walked away

from your mother and stepfather
and never saw them again?

[loud munching]

Sorry?

It shaped him.
He used comedy, he used humor,

as-- as a way to, um,

you know, mask what was
going on inside.

And that's continued.
It continues to this day.

I mean, he will joke around
from morning to night,

and you won't know
what's going on.

That's his instinct, is...

I wanna bring humor
to this situation,

because that's
how he always dealt with

the problems in his life.

Chevy, do you have
your lighter close by?

CHEVY: I have my lighter
very close by.

- Are you ready?
- I'm ready,

because I wanna
put all these away.

Oh, wait,
that's chewing gum.

MARINA: Do you know
about his past?

Do you know that
he was abused as a child?

Um, I don't know
that he was abused as a child,

but I--
I am sort of sad to say

that I would--
I would have guessed that,

because, uh...

you know, um, that--

what he's doing is a--
is a coping mechanism.

No problem.

[audience laughter]

Funny people
generally have

a lot of sad things
in their background.

A lot of tragedy, that's
where the comedy comes from.

[audience laughter]

GALECKI:
What it really boils down to

is being able to behave
in a very natural way

in a very unnatural environment.

And I think, often,

the-- that--
that skill is honed,

um...

in a--
in an unhappy home.

[audience laughter]

Uh-oh, I've got it--

Oh!

We lost a huge evergreen
over here.

- Huge tree.
- What do you think of this?

CHEVY: I went through,
like, six or seven years

of real depression,
I just couldn't quite figure out

what it was...
when you're in it,

uh... you're just
not feeling too good.

[electric piano playing]

♪♪

CALEY:
I found that

the better
I got on the piano,

the more
he would come downstairs,

so I played my tuchus off.

He loved it.
And he was inspired by it

and inspired me
and loved hearing it

and would love
to show me stuff.

It brought him
out of the bedroom.

[Jayni laughing]

This is our house now.

JAYNI:
Well, it's most of it.

Moving us out of LA

was my way
of making sure that

we were living
more in reality.

That was the best thing,
I think, for all of us.

To get out
of that environment.

I needed to get him here.

This was--
he grew up here.

[kids' chatter]

CHEVY:
I've always had Jayni.

It's pretty hard to be
depressed too long

with a happy woman.

[Jayni laughing]

Chevy!

[laughing]

[gentle music]

[music fades]

CHEVY:
Where's the chess set?

GANINO:
Right back there, buddy.

You wanna play now?
Or just this?

Just that first,
we'll do the chess after.

Here.

That's the face right there.

[laughing]
Why'd you make that face?

How's this?

- Look at that face!
- No.

All right, ready?
[laughing]

All right, try again.

Why are you making
that same face?

What?

It looks like
you're taking a shit.

It looks like
I'm taking a shit?

- Yeah, look at it.
- Sorry, everybody.

[chuckling]
My apologies.

Okay, from now on
let's be serious.

- Seriously.
- [laughing]

He likes to tease.

Remember the 12 year old boy
that pulls the girl's hair.

- Right?
- That's him.

"All the best."

[laughing]

We were at a restaurant,
and he seemed to be

talking to his veal chop,

he had one finger, like,
he says, "Come on,"

he would say,
"Come on, come on,"

[smooching]
"come on, come on,"

and then with his other hand,
he picked it up,

he goes "fwah,"

"there, that's a good,"
you know?

If I were you,
I wouldn't do that.

[laughing]

AYKROYD: Chevy will do--
if you're sitting at a table,

he'll be sitting there,
and then he'll start to do

this... he does this,

where...

he bounces along,
and you see

this figure bounce,
and it's just--

always buckles me over
when he-- when he does that.

WOMAN: Huge fan,
Mr. Chase, huge fan.

- Huge fan.
- Thank you, I appreciate that.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Would you like
a signed picture?

- Do you have one available?
- I might.

- I might have one.
- [woman laughing]

SHORT: We were at
the AFI Tribute to Gregory Peck.

Way, way in the corner,
Mary Hart was

interviewing someone live,
and Chevy said,

"I wonder if I can hit her
with this roll."

And he whipped it
as far as he could,

and it hit her right in the head
in the middle of a thing,

and he had to sit down
like a kid.

I was at a...

an event,
and this young caterer

came up with a tray
full of chocolate mousse,

like shots
of chocolate mousse,

and she went, "Would you guys
like some chocolate mousse?"

And Chevy looked at it,
and he stuck his finger in one,

took it out, and...
"No, thank you."

So, I'm up 100...

- to...
- [laughing]

- ...twelve?
- Yes.

We're not rolling,
are we rolling?

- MARINA: Yes, we are.
- This whole time?

- What was the question?
- So, "Community."

What?
[laughing]

Okay, I did "Community,"

Jayni says
I was great in it.

What is community college?

Well, you've heard
all kinds of things.

You've heard
it's loser college,

where old people...

I sort of thought
I was in retirement

a little bit
back with my wife,

back-- and kids back
at the farm in New York,

but, you know,

when I saw the...
the pilot script,

I said, "Oh, I gotta--
I gotta play that guy."

My dad got this pilot.

He said yes to it

because he loved the writing.

Thought Dan Harmon was
quite a genius.

I was here in LA,

acting, pretty much
just living on couches.

My mom said...

"I don't really
wanna move to LA,

is there any way you would
live with your father?

I'll give you
a place to stay."

And I was like,
"Oh, my God, yes, I'll do it."

I became a little LA.

I got some sage.

Wanted to empty
the house of...

whatever the heck was there.

The next morning,
I found a note

in the bag
with the sage.

It just said,
"Smoked it, didn't like it.

Love you, Dad."

And I'm thinking, did he?

[upbeat music]

I was a Chevy Chase fan
from "Saturday Night Live."

The beginning.
He's a classical

sketch performer.

I was hired to do
"Community,"

and I had heard, you know,

that he could be challenging.

Would you stop tuning
that guitar?

You are 105 years old!

Excuse me!

But it's springtime,
and I thought

I might woo a few chicks.

CHANDRASEKHAR: On the first day
I was working with Chevy,

he's throwing a big pause
in the middle of this sentence

that cannot have a pause.

And I'm like...

"Can we do it again
without that pause?"

And he's putting the pause in
and putting the pause in,

and he keeps putting
the pause in.

And I'm like,
"If you pull that pause out,

I think it's gonna be
funnier, right?"

And he goes, "Oh, I see,
are you telling me

how to do comedy?"
And I said,

"I am, in this case,
I am, and it kills me,

but yes, I am."
And he goes, "Fine, fuck it."

And so he did it
without the pause,

and he goes, "You're right,
that was better."

He and I would argue about
how he was delivering a line,

and it would get heated,
and the next day,

he'd come in
and be rubbing my belly

and telling me
Richard Pryor stories.

I loved it, like,
I mean, you know...

I-- I complimented him
on the movie "Foul Play."

And he goes,
"It's a terrible film."

And I'm like, "No, Chevy,
it's a great film."

And he goes,
"You don't know what the fuck

you're talking about."
I'm like, "I do know

what the fuck
I'm talking about."

And he goes,
"You wanna see a good movie?

'Rosemary's Baby,'
that's a good movie."

And I'm like, "Okay,
that's also a good movie."

- McHALE: It seems...
- Blegh!

- It seems...
- [clearing throat wetly]

Thought it was my line,
I'm sorry.

CHANDRASEKHAR: There was
a little bit of negativity

around Chevy
and the rest of the cast.

And so there was a desire

to shoot him out
every day.

And so the very first shots
of the day,

I would get him to say
all his lines,

and we would argue,

and then, uh,
and I'm like,

"All right, Chevy, we're done."
And he would leave.

Once he left,
and everyone's like, "Hey!"

Troy, get up here
and double-bounce me!

That's not
how we do things here!

You get up here
and double-bounce me

or I'll tell everybody
about this place!

Harmon then was, like,

listening to his--
his cast,

and he goes, "Don't worry,
I broke Pierce's legs for you."

Father...

[thud, clang]

CHEVY:
My legs, aah!

CHANDRASEKHAR:
Two casts and a wheelchair.

So you just stick him
in one place,

and just shoot him out
for the whole episode.

He's just fuckin'
in that chair.

JAYNI:
For the first time,

it was very clear to him
that he was the old fart.

His castmates,
they were so much younger,

and they were just living
a very different life.

Here's the thing,
the first script back--

- which Chevy loves, right?
- Chevy?

- [laughing]
- Have you seen it?

I have not seen it. This is
the respect I didn't get.

- [laughing]
- It's in his email.

It was in New York.
His email's in New York.

JAYNI: They were cracking up,
because they'd asked him,

"Do you do email?
Do you have email?"

And he said, "Oh, yeah,
but that's in New York."

The cast, by the way,
is-- minus Chevy,

- is so nice.
- [audience laughter]

[laughter continues]

He said you're nice!
You're nice!

[overlapping chatter]

ERIK KRITZER:
Chevy was unprotected.

And any time
I... spoke to anyone,

no one really did anything.

JAYNI: That was
when I realized that

I was getting a six pack
of organic red wine,

and after about four days,
it was gone.

I pointed it out to Chevy

probably five different times,

and he would roll it back.

And then he didn't like me

pointing it out to him.

Because the...

the beast of addiction

starts taking over.

He was not an alcoholic
all those years,

but alcoholism is
a whole different level.

It really takes over.

And that was
hard for him to stop.

Chevy was functional.

I didn't...
realize it right away.

Caley did.

She finally said,
"Mom, I think

he's drinking on set."

Look at awesome
Jeffrey Winger.

Too awesome
for old Pierce,

with your hip shirts
and your--

your gelled hair
and your...

CHANDRASEKHAR:
It was out in the open

that Chevy Chase was
a little difficult

on "Community."
And I'm being nice.

[laughing]

People were talking about it,
enough that Dan did

that thing
at the wrap party.

CALEY:
My dad was super-excited

to bring me and my mom
to the wrap party.

We walk in,
Dan had had some drinks.

He starts railing on Chevy
on the microphone.

He... had gotten
the whole cast and crew

to yell,

"Fuck you, Chevy,
fuck you, Chevy."

I'm there, he's showing
his daughter, like,

"This is the show I did,"

and we walk into
"Fuck you, Chevy."

That's rough, and mean.

I don't get talked to
like that by anybody,

certainly not in front
of my wife and daughter,

you [bleep]-damn
[bleep]-hole,

alcoholic fat [bleep].

You're not funny.
You're okay.

CALEY:
He was pissed

and left
an angry, pissed,

but also kind of funny
voicemail to Dan.

CHEVY:
You can suck my [bleep].

CALEY: Dan was going
through a time as well,

and he ended up putting
my dad's voicemail public.

So, they went back and forth,
I don't know,

there was like
this little mini-war with them.

Dan was fired from the show.

They made up,
and then my dad said,

"I won't come back without Dan,"
it was crazy!

We have to teach Jeffrey
how to fight.

I know a few moves.
Troy, I assume

you're handy
with a switchblade.

Abed, you get
back to the family tent,

try to find a chicken
for Jeff to chase.

As the seasons went on,

Chevy had a lot--
a lot of concerns

with his role

and how they were
portraying him.

A little angry,
a little mean.

EMILY: They were
writing his character

more and more bigoted.

And he... was getting
upset about it.

I was there directing

the night Chevy Chase got fired
from "Community."

And that's why Pierce should
host the reception.

He speaks their language.

Finally, somebody's
making some sense.

I've got a Blackface
Señor Wences bit

- I've been workshopping.
- Perfect.

CHANDRASEKHAR:
Harmon writes this.

A Blackface
hand puppet routine.

What you talking about, honky?

CHANDRASEKHAR:
Character is a little

tone-deaf on this thing.

...I haven't introduced you
to my Asian wife yet.

Uh-oh!

Now, had it been
Chevy in his heyday,

he would've been
totally fine, right?

He said something to Yvette.

I know that
there was a history

between those two
around race.

And... she...

got up
and stormed out of there.

Chevy storms off.

So, the producer is like,

"We need Yvette
in this scene, right?"

I'm like, "Yeah, yeah,
she's in the next scene."

And he goes,
"Well, she won't come out

unless Chevy apologizes
to her," I'm like...

uh-oh.
[laughing]

It...

he's... like...

he comes back--
comes back on the set,

and he's like--
he goes, "Hey, man,

I didn't--
I didn't say anything."

And I'm like,
"No, I know, I know."

I-- he goes-- he goes,
"You know, me and Richard Pryor,

I used to call
Richard Pryor the n-word,

he used to call me the honky,
and we loved each other."

And I'm like,
"I know, man, I love that bit.

I said, "But, you know,
can we just have

a little apology?"
He goes, "For what?"

And I'm like...
I was just,

"I don't know, like,
we're just-- you know,

can we just make
the goddamn show?

Can we make
the goddamn show?"

Somebody has leaked
that there was

a racial incident
to The Hollywood Reporter

at 2:00
in the fucking morning.

There are 50--
75 extras there,

so you're like,
"Oh, my God, this is so--

this shouldn't have
happened," right?

And he comes storming
onto the set,

and he goes,
"Who fucked me over?!"

And I'm like--

and he goes,
"One of you motherfuckers

said to The Hollywood Reporter,
my career is ruined!

I'm ruined!" Like that,
like it's a full meltdown.

"Fuck all of you!"

And I'm like... "All right,
let's shoot the scene."

Look, either he leaves
the group, or I do.

[laughing]

You just dug your own grave.

CHANDRASEKHAR: He never ended up
coming back after that.

Hey... what's up?

They kicked me out
of the group!

ANA KASPARIAN:
Chevy Chase reportedly used

the n-word after complaining
about some of the lines

that the show "Community"
had given him.

Some of the lines made him
so upset that he said

that pretty soon
they would have him

call the Black characters
the n-word,

but he actually said
the n-word.

REPORTER:
When you read that stuff,

"Chevy's been a jerk,"
are those unfounded cheap shots?

CHEVY:
I don't give a crap.

I am who I am.

And I like who I am.

I don't care.

And it's part of me,
that I don't care.

CALEY: I would say
90% of my experience

with journalism
around my dad

is negative.

- MARINA: This is like--
- Yeah.

- --the core of it.
- Yeah.

- So, it's kind of like--
- Of course.

You want the truth,
the reality.

MARINA: Well, I want the truth,
but it's kind of like,

what adds
to the complication

he doesn't remember
certain things.

Oh, well, I mean,
he's... 80-something,

and has basically
come back from the dead, so.

- Tell me about that, like--
- Oh, my God.

He had heart failure.

Have they talked
about that at all?

[scoffing]

That's so hard
to talk about, um...

JAYNI:
Something was wrong,

and he couldn't explain to me
what was wrong,

so go to the ER,

his heart stops.

During those years
he was drinking,

he got cardiomyopathy,

when the heart muscles
get weaker,

and they can't pump
as much blood out

with each beat.

GREISMAN: They decided
to put him into a coma

for maybe eight days.

That's pretty rough
on the body.

It was so scary
when he was in the hospital.

We were all there,
it was during COVID.

The doctor had warned us
we might not get him back,

we don't know
how present he'll be.

You know, this...

prepare yourselves
for the worst.

[beeping]

[gentle music]

He woke up, all he could do
was use his voice,

"Aah, aah," and it was
just his waking up,

it was like a new birth.

And the nurse came in,
to, like, switch some stuff up,

And she said, "I'm gonna
have to put this in here."

And he said,
"That's what she said."

PETER: When he came out of it,
it took a while

for him to re-orient himself.

So, I feel
like his memory gaps

come from that incident.

CHEVY: So, how's that problem
you're having with an erection?

[laughter]

- This is the worst.
- Queen of diamonds.

Check.

Okay, I tell you what...

who's richer?

[laughing]

[both laughing]

- Let me just say this.
- Yeah?

They have ways now
of keeping you hard.

- [laughing]
- According to the doctors,

my memory would be
shot from it,

and that's
what's happened here, so.

GANINO: You had a lot
of cognitive disability,

and we started playing cards.

- That's right.
- And we played a lot of cards,

and a lot more cards,
and then you started getting

- your head back together.
- Yeah.

And then my boys would
come play cards with us--

- Then we went to chess.
- Then we went to chess.

And that's when
I started really winning.

That's when he won
every once in a while.

Heart failure is what it is.

I'm fine now.

It's just that
it affects your memory

very... uh...

and the doctors
have told me that, so...

you know, I have to be
reminded of things.

Five, king, seven.

ZWEIBEL:
In the early days of SNL,

I would remember trying to tell,

like, my parents' friends,
or some-- you know,

about this show
that I write for.

They hadn't heard of it,

but I would then
find myself saying,

"You know,
the Chevy Chase show.

The show
that Chevy Chase is on."

That they knew.

♪♪

REPORTER:
Tonight, we are live

at 30 Rockefeller Plaza
in the very place

where "Saturday Night Live"
started 50 years ago.

Comedy icons,
your favorite entertainers,

are all here.

Did you think we would be here
50 years later?

Uh, you mean, like,
"dead or here"?

[laughter]

MICHAELS:
He was there at the moment

"Saturday Night Live"
was born.

It was a really
powerful collaboration.

And we both went
for that ride.

If it hadn't been for me,
this show would've gone

on the dumper that year.

No-- and that's all you're gonna
show now, right? You devils.

CYDNEY: He's very proud
of his days at "SNL."

Just speaks so highly of
the people he was working with.

Loves Lorne dearly.
He really does.

Would you ever come back?

Of course!
Yeah, I'd love coming back.

JAYNI: They told Chevy
up until that day

that there were two bits,
they were going back and forth.

And then all of a sudden,
"No, there's no bit."

There were a couple
of versions of Update,

and we went
back and forth on that.

There was
also a caution

from somebody
that I don't wanna name

that Chevy, you know,
wasn't as focused.

ZWEIBEL:
The night of the 8H show

that everybody watched
on Sunday night,

he wasn't in that show.

I don't know
what the dynamics were,

I don't know
why that was decided--

I honestly don't know.

There's 50 years of casts.

Billy Crystal,

no bigger star than Billy.

He... didn't say
a word that night.

You know, it's just
too many people to fill.

Live from New York,
it's Saturday Night!

He should have opened the show.

With "It's Saturday Night."
That's it.

They didn't even need
to use him more.

But...

come on, guys!
That was it!

[applause]

And live from New York...

It's Saturday Night!

♪♪

ZWEIBEL: You gotta think
about the people who grew up

watching that show...

and watching him.

It was a bit
of a slap in the face.

Well, it was kind of...

upsetting, actually.

Uh, and this'll
probably be

the first time
I'm saying it,

but I expected
that I would've been

on the stage too,
with all the other actors.

- Wait a minute...
- CHEVY: When Garrett

and Laraine went
on the stage there...

I was curious
as to why I didn't.

No one asked me to.

Why was I left aside?

Cornelius Crane Chase.

Who we've all
come to know...

- as Connie.
- [laughter]

Let's face it,
Weekend Update

simply would not exist
without him.

So... it would be wrong

to have him listed at anywhere
but number four.

[laughter and applause]

CHEVY:
Why was Bill Murray there?

- Why was I not?
- Jane Curtin and...

I don't have
an answer for that.

...and Danny Aykroyd.

I did bring it up once...

[coughs]
...in a text to Lorne.

And then took it back,
I-I said,

"Okay, I take it back,
it's silly."

But it's not that silly.

It was-- somebody made
a bad mistake there.

I don't know who it was,
but somebody made a mistake.

They should've had me
on that stage.

It hurt.

If you wanna know
what it takes

to make a show like this
last for 50 years,

it's these people
right around me--

the first cast.
Laraine Newman,

Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris,
and Chevy Chase.

ZWEIBEL: Afterwards,
when I saw him,

everybody was happy
to see each other,

and there's Chevy,
looking like he was...

looking for his place.

And I said,
"You know, Chevy...

none of this would be
happening without you."

You don't do Weekend Update

to start this
at the beginning,

all of us are
somewhere else tonight.

[gentle music playing]

[soft chatter]

CHEVY: There is
a nip in the air, though.

Can I take something out
for you?

[laughter]

- CHEVY: All right, Pat.
- Hey, buddy.

- I'm glad you're here.
- I'm glad I'm here, too.

Should this be buttoned,
do you know, up here?

- Stand up.
- Huh?

- Let me see.
- Where's Jayni?

I don't know,
let go of it, though.

Wha-- you said
that you think this is good.

- I don't really think so--
- Well, try buttoning it.

Okay-- I am--
what do you mean, "try,"

I'm buttoning it.

GANINO: So, every December
is our Super Bowl,

and this is
what we prepare for all year.

So, it's okay then,
do you think,

if I go out like this?

We've been going out
on the road

November, late November,
and all of December,

doing these...

big theater screenings
of "Christmas Vacation,"

where Chevy and I go out

and do the answer
Q&A afterwards.

And that all started happening

because there are
so many people

that live and breathe
"Christmas Vacation."

You have food
on your pants, honey.

- A lot of food.
- They're gonna see that--

There's breakfast.

- Please!
- Lunch, dinner.

What're you--
no one's gonna notice the--

the mustard and eggs
on my pants.

- What's that?
- I'm drying it.

I think
I'm going to enjoy this.

[laughter]

- MAN: You know Bill?
- Mr. Chase, nice to meet you.

- Hi, Bill.
- Thanks for being here.

- Thank you very much!
- He owns the theater.

- What?
- He owns the theater.

- That's great.
- Look, I gotta ask you

- one question, please.
- Okay.

- You made "Caddyshack"--
- Can't answer that.

- Okay.
- [laughing]

[gentle music playing]

CHEVY: I did it.

[cheering and applause]

EMCEE: Please help me welcome
Mr. Chevy Chase.

[cheering and applause]

What?!

- [cheering and applause]
- Look at them!

Thank you.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

You know,
when you're making movies,

you don't get to see this.

You just get to see
the camera, the director,

and some nice ass--
no, I'm kidding.

- [laughter]
- And, uh...

you're my real fans,
and I really appreciate this.

- [cheering and applause]
- Thank you.

Thank you so much.

[cheering and applause]

It's fun,
it's fun because

when you make movies,
or even television,

you don't get the kind of
honest reaction from your fans,

as you do there
in the theater.

I'm always moved,
I get goosebumps.

EMCEE: Jayni,
this question is for you.

How is Chevy similar to Clark?

Oh.

- Well, we both look the same.
- [laughter]

A lot of the persona was at
being effortless-- it wasn't.

MICHAELS:
You represent a generation,

and another generation grows up,

they look at your stuff,
they worship you,

and then you show up
in their work.

You can't not remember
someone like him fondly.

Listen, 5:39...

AYKROYD: Any encounter with him,
you don't know what's gonna

come out next.
It's exciting,

and dangerous,
and really, really fun.

Kate L. wanted to know,
did you break your finger

- while shooting the movie?
- If what?

Did you break your finger
while shooting the movie?

I thought you said
"sphincter."

- [laughter]
- Look...

HAWN:
His legacy really is

how he made people laugh.

How you tickle
that part of your heart,

and I don't think
people forget that.

EMCEE:
If acting didn't work out,

what would you have
wanted to do for a career?

Well, I've always
enjoyed surgery.

- Surgery.
- [laughter]

MARINA: Would you work
with him again?

Yeah... yeah.
I would.

[laughing]

I'd work with Chevy,
I mean, are you kidding me?

It's Chevy Chase.
Yeah, I'd work with him again.

And I want to look him
straight in the eye,

and I want to tell him
what a cheap, lying,

no-good, rotten,
four-flushing,

low-life,
snake-licking...

...dirt-eating,
inbred, overstuffed,

ignorant,
blood-sucking,

dog-kissing,

brainless, dickless,
hopeless, heartless,

fat-ass, bug-eyed,
stiff-legged,

spotty-lipped,
worm-headed

sack of monkey shit he is!

[cheering and applause]

I feel fulfilled.

By my standard,
I'm still a movie star.

[gentle music]

[gentle music]

Oh, my goodness, again,
my apologies,

- I...
- MARINA: For what?

Just for being who I am.

[cheering and applause]

[loud cheering]

[cheering
and applause continues]

[cheering
and applause continues]

["You Can Call Me Al,"
Paul Simon]

♪ A man walks down the street,
he says ♪

♪ "Why am I soft
in the middle now? ♪

♪ Why am I soft
in the middle? ♪

♪ The rest of my life is
so hard ♪

♪ I need a photo-opportunity ♪

♪ I want
a shot at redemption ♪

♪ Don't wanna end up
a cartoon ♪

♪ In a cartoon graveyard" ♪

♪ Bone digger, bone digger ♪

♪ Dogs in the moonlight ♪

♪ Far away
in my well-lit door ♪

♪ Mr. Beer Belly,
Beer Belly ♪

♪ Get these mutts away
from me, you know ♪

♪ I don't find this stuff
amusing anymore ♪

♪ Uh, if you would be
my bodyguard ♪

♪ I can be
your long-lost pal ♪

♪ I can call you Betty ♪

♪ And Betty,
when you call me ♪

♪ You can call me Al... ♪♪