Original subtitles

NARRATOR: NOW ON "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS"...

IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SCARY.

NARRATOR: BIGGER HILLS...

[LOUD CLUNK] WHOA!

NARRATOR: AND BIGGER THRILLS.

WHOA BABY, WHOA BABY.

NARRATOR: KICK THE WAR ON THE WINTER ROADS,

[LOUD THUDS] THE ROAD'S ROUGH AS Sááá.

NARRATOR: INTO OVERDRIVE.

AND ONE OF THE BIGGEST HAULS IN ICE ROAD'S HISTORY...

GOD, THIS IS SOME SCARY ASS Sááá RIGHT HERE.

NARRATOR: COULD BRING ONE DRIVER...

NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THIS ICE CROSSING!

NARRATOR: TO THE BREAKING POINT.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BLOCK IN THE ROAD?!

♪♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪♪

NARRATOR: IN WINNIPEG AT POLAR HEADQUARTERS...

TODD: WHAT DO YOU SAY THERE, BIG BOSS MAN?

MARK: HOW YOU DOIN', BUD?

SO I'VE GOT A CHALLENGE FOR YOU HERE.

NARRATOR: THE BOSS IS CALLING IN HIS TOP DOG

FOR THE MOST AMBITIOUS JOB THE COMPANY HAS EVER TAKEN ON.

MARK: WE'VE GOT AN OVERSIZED CRANE THAT'S GOT TO GET OUT TO PIKANGIKUM.

OKAY.

MARK: WHAT THEY'RE BUILDING RIGHT NOW IS PROBABLY

THE LARGEST REMOTE SCHOOL IN NORTH AMERICA, MASSIVE SCHOOL.

I MEAN, THEY'RE BUILDING HISTORY OUT THERE.

WE'RE GONNA BE A PART OF THIS

BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA CREATE OUR OWN LITTLE HISTORY.

THIS CRANE IS WELL OVER 100,000 POUNDS.

TODD: SERIOUS? MARK: YEAH.

WOW.

YEAH, THIS IS THE HEAVIEST LOAD

THAT WE'VE EVER MOVED ACROSS THE ICE,

LIKE THE HEAVIEST BY FAR,

AND THIS WILL BE THE HEAVIEST LOAD MOVED

PROBABLY ALL SEASON BY ANYBODY.

Fááá, JUST GAVE ME GOOSEBUMPS THINKING ABOUT IT.

I'VE TRIED TO TAKE EVERY SAFETY PRECAUTION POSSIBLE HERE.

WE'RE ACTUALLY SHUTTING THE ICE ROAD DOWN

TO MAKE SURE WE DON'T EVEN HAVE AN EXTRA 1,000 POUNDS ON THE ICE.

I WOULD HAVE SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE.

BUT WE'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THIS THING

AND WE NEED TO GET IT DONE,

AND I NEED, I NEED YOU TO DO IT.

WE'VE GOT A POLICY HERE AT POLAR, I MEAN, IF YOU,

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY NO, AND I WILL FULLY RESPECT THAT.

IT'S GONNA POP AND CRACK ON YOU

LIKE SOMETHING LIKE WE'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE.

[SIGHS] WOW.

WELL, YOU KNOW ME, MARK, I'M NOT GONNA TURN NOTHIN' DOWN.

IF YOU THINK IT CAN BE DONE, I'M GOING IN.

LET'S DO IT. WE CAN GET THIS DONE, MAN.

TODD: ALL RIGHT, BUDDY.

NARRATOR: THE 130,000 POUND CRANE

IS ONE OF THE HEAVIEST LOADS

EVER TO BE ATTEMPTED ON THE ICE ROADS.

TODD WILL NEED TO HAUL IT 300 MILES TO PIKANGIKUM,

AND THEN OVER AN ICE CROSSING THAT JUST REOPENED -

AFTER SEVERE DAMAGE FORCED IT TO BE SHUT DOWN.

EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD.

NARRATOR: BUT IF POLAR AND TODD CAN PULL IT OFF,

IT'LL SEND A MESSAGE THROUGHOUT THE INDUSTRY

THAT THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN'T DO.

THE ONLY WAY IT'S GONNA GET DONE THAT'S TO GET GOING.

SO, HERE WE GO.

[TRUCK ENGINE ROARS]

MARK: THIS IS KIND OF A BADGE OF HONOUR

THAT THEY'VE GIVEN US THE RESPONSIBILITY,

BUT IT'S GONNA BE DANGEROUS.

THERE'S NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT.

TODD: WELL, I WANTED ADVENTURE, I GOT ONE TODAY, DON'T I?

[ENGINE RUMBLES, CHAINS CLINK]

THIS IS DEFINITELY THE MOST DIFFICULT AND STRESSFUL LOAD

THAT I'VE HAD TO HAUL ON THE ICE ROAD YET.

FRIGGIN' SO MUCH STUFF RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND RIGHT NOW,

I'M HAVING A FRICKIN' MELTDOWN, OVERLOAD.

THEY'RE SHUTTING DOWN THE WHOLE ICE CROSSING FOR ME

WHEN I GET UP HERE.

THEY DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE ON THE LAKE.

THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN VERY OFTEN.

SO IT'S A BIG DEAL, BUT THEY HAVE TO HAVE THE CRANE,

THAT'S WHY THE BAND HAS OKAYED IT.

COME ACROSS THE ICE,

I MEAN, THEY HAVE TO HAVE THIS MACHINE THROUGH THE SUMMER

TO FINISH BUILDING THEIR SCHOOL,

AND THEY HAVE TO GET IT THERE BEFORE THE ICE ROADS MELT,

OTHERWISE THERE'S NO WAY TO GET IT THERE TO FINISH THEIR SCHOOL.

I AM NERVOUS ABOUT IT, I'M NOT GONNA LIE. I AM HUMAN.

IT'S GONNA BE ONE NERVE WRACKING SON OF A BITCH

TO TAKE THIS THING ACROSS THAT LAKE.

♪♪♪♪♪

HOPE MY WIFE PAID THE LIFE INSURANCE THIS MONTH.

NARRATOR: WHILE POLAR LOOKS TO MAKE THE RECORD BOOKS,

BACK IN WINNIPEG...

DARRELL: YEAH HELLO, THIS IS DARRELL.

I'M LOOKING FOR SOME LOADS, AND I'M READY TO GO AGAIN.

NARRATOR: DARRELL'S LOOKING TO KEEP HIS NEW BUSINESS ROLLING.

DARRELL: YOU'VE GOT ONE LOAD FOR POLAR GOING OUT IN THREE DAYS.

WELL, I'M READY TO GO.

I CAN TAKE IT RIGHT NOW.

NARRATOR: AND HE'LL DO IT BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

DARRELL: LISA AND I, WE'RE A NEW COMPANY JUST STARTIN' UP,

WE'RE LOOKING FOR LOADS.

IF IT'S NOT ON HIS BACK, THEN IT'S UP FOR TAKING, RIGHT?

IF MARK'S GOT HIM SITTING,

AND THEY'RE GONNA BE THREE DAYS TO A WEEK OUT

BEFORE HE CAN GET TO THEM,

I CAN WALK RIGHT IN AND SAY WE CAN TAKE THEM NOW.

KINGFISHER.

YEAH, I'VE BEEN TO KINGFISHER.

YEAH, I'LL TAKE IT, ABSOLUTELY.

I'LL BE THERE AND GET IT.

JUST TELL HIM I TOOK IT.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. YEAH, THANKS, BYE.

NARRATOR: TODAY THE UPSTART COMPANY SCOOPED ONE

FROM THE REIGNING CHAMP.

DARRELL: I JUST SCORED A LOAD GOING TO KINGFISHER.

IT WAS A LOAD OF MARK'S.

IF MARK'S GONNA WAIT THREE DAYS TO TAKE THIS OUT,

AND I TAKE IT OUT TODAY,

I MADE YOU A BETTER OFFER.

THAT IS BUSINESS.

ANOTHER LOAD, ANOTHER LOAD.

NARRATOR: THE LOAD DARRELL SNAGGED AIN'T EASY.

HAULING A HEAVY 20 TONNE LOAD OF BUILDING SUPPLIES

OVER A GRUELLING 500 MILE STRETCH TO DISTANT KINGFISHER.

IF THE NEW BUSINESS OWNER

IS GONNA PROVE HE CAN DELIVER FASTER THAN POLAR,

HE'S PICKED A TOUGH ONE TO DO IT WITH.

THERE WE GO!

THIS IS A VERY, VERY IMPORTANT HAUL FOR OUR COMPANY.

I'M UNDER PRESSURE.

[TRUCK HORN HONKS]

I'VE GOT TO GET THIS LOAD DELIVERED ON TIME.

I'VE GOT THE OPPORTUNITY, AND I'M GONNA TAKE IT.

I NEED TO GET AS MANY LOADS OUT AS I CAN

AND I NEED TO BE MOVING.

NARRATOR: WHILE DARRELL HAMMERS DOWN...

400 MILES TO THE WEST,

ANOTHER RIVAL IS ALREADY ON THE ROAD.

[TRUCK HORN HONKS]

WELL, SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL MORNIN' THIS MORNIN', B'YS.

THE SUN IS BEATIN' ME RIGHT IN THE FACE HERE.

NARRATOR: ART BURKE'S ON A TIME SENSITIVE RESCUE MISSION

FOR POLAR INDUSTRIES.

WE'RE OFF TO ST. THERESA'S

TO PICK UP A TRAILER UP HERE

THAT'S BEEN HERE SINCE LAST YEAR.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY COULDN'T GET IT OUT

OR SOMEBODY BROKE DOWN AND HAD TO LEAVE IT THERE,

OR WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED.

NARRATOR: THE BOSS NEEDS THE STRANDED TRAILER BACK IN WINNIPEG

FOR A HAUL DUE OUT IN THE MORNING.

SO THE PRESSURE'S ON ART...

[LOUD THUDS] TO DELIVER FAST.

ONCE THE ICE GOES, YOU CAN'T GET IT OUT, RIGHT?

SO IT'S STUCK HERE FOR THE WHOLE YEAR.

NARRATOR: WHEN THE MELT COMES EACH SEASON,

THE WINTER ROADS TURN INTO QUICKSAND.

ANY EQUIPMENT THAT HASN'T MADE IT OUT IN TIME

BECOMES TRAPPED IN THE MUSKEG,

AND IS FORCED TO BE LEFT BEHIND.

AND WHEN WINTER COMES,

IT FREEZES INTO THE ICE AND SNOW,

MAKING IT NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO RECOVER.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

ART: SO WE'RE GOING UP TO ST. THERESA'S TO PICK THAT UP,

AND WE'RE GONNA DRAG THAT BACK TO WINNIPEG,

IF ALL GOES WELL.

I HOPE THE TIRES ARE UP ON IT

AND IT'S, I GET THE AIR BAGS TO BLOW UP AND ALL THIS Sááá,

AND IT'S NOT UP HERE LAYING ON ITS SIDE ALL COVERED IN SNOW.

NARRATOR: BEFORE HE CAN GET TO THE TRAILER...

ART: HANG ON HERE, MAYBE.

NARRATOR: ART'S GOT TO CONQUER THE LAST SLICK 50 MILES.

ART: ALL YOU CITY SLICKERS,

I'VE JUST GOT THE TRUCK, EH. THERE'S NO TRAILER ON IT.

LOOK AT ALL THAT BOBTAILING.

NARRATOR: WITH NO WEIGHT ON THE DRIVE TIRES...

WOO.

NARRATOR: TRACTION IS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

YEAH, YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU WALK DOWN

AND YOU'RE SO LIGHT IN THE ARSE.

YOU GO AROUND A TURN, THE ARSE WILL GO RIGHT AROUND, EH.

BAD TURN, BAD TURN, BAD TURN.

[TRUCK SLIDING]

TO LOCK DOWN YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING,

OR YOU'RE NOT GONNA [BLEEP] THROUGH IT, EH.

ONE OF THESE TIMES I'LL BE LOSING 'ER.

CAN'T SEE Fááá ALL IN THE SUN.

[TRUCK SLIDING]

WHOA, BABY, WHOA, BABY, WHOA, BABY, WHOA!

[TRUCK SLIDING]

[LAUGHING]

♪♪♪♪♪

WELL, WE MADE IT TO ST. THERESA'S,

FOR THE LOVE OF [BLEEP].

NOW WE'RE GONNA GO SEE IF WE CAN FIND THAT Fááááá TRAILER.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

I SAY THAT'S THE ONE.

AND HOW I'M GONNA GET IT OUT OF THERE,

I HAVE NO Fáááááá IDEA.

NARRATOR: THE TRAILER'S STUCK IN OVER THREE FEET OF FROZEN, HEAVY SNOW.

ART: I DON'T Fááááá BELIEVE IT.

I DON'T GET PAID FOR Fááááá SHOVELLING SNOW, MAN.

NARRATOR: AND TO FREE IT, ART'S GOTTA SHOVEL BY HAND.

PRETTY MUCH ALL THAT HAS TO BE Fáááá MOVED.

AND UNDER THE TRAILER TOO, SO I CAN BACK IN THERE.

I'M LOOKING AT THIS TRAILER AND I'M THINKING TO MYSELF,

WHAT THE Fááá?!

LIKE THIS IS ANOTHER WHAT THE Fááá MARK SITUATION, EH.

I'M GONNA BE HAPPY Fááááá BABY

BY THE TIME I GET THIS ALL SHOVELLED OUT.

AND THIS IS BEFORE, THIS HAPPENS BEFORE

I GOT A BIG OF [BLEEP] STUFF ON THE WHEELS,

AND ALL THIS OTHER [BLEEP] STUFF, EH.

THIS JOB IS RIGHT UP WITH SUCKING [BLEEP].

SUCKING [BLEEP] COULD BE THE WORST JOB YOU COULD EVER HAVE,

AND RIGHT UNDERNEATH THE [BLEEP] THING WOULD BE THIS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT Fááááá DOING IT.

I'M NOT Fááááá DOING IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE Fááá I'M GONNA DO,

BUT I'M NOT SHOVELLING THAT.

IT'S SELF Fááááá EXPLANATORY, AIN'T IT? [BLEEP]!

OLAR HEADQUARTERS...

[TRUCK HORN HONKS]

HEY, MARK HERE FROM POLAR INDUSTRIES.

GOOD, I'M JUST CALLING TO CHECK UP ON THAT KINGFISHER LOAD.

I'LL GET A GUY OUT THERE IN A COUPLE DAYS.

NARRATOR: MARK KOHAYKEWYCH CHECKS IN WITH A KEY CUSTOMER.

IT'S GONE? WELL, WHO GOT UNDER IT?

DARRELL WARD, EH?

ALL RIGHT, NO, NO PROBLEM. BYE BYE.

Fááá!

HERE COMES DARRELL, AND HE'S GONNA STROLL IN HERE,

AND HE'S GONNA TRY AND START PICKING AWAY AT ME.

YOU KNOW AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT'S MONEY OUT OF MY POCKET.

THOSE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CONTRACTS THAT I SHOULD HAVE HERE.

HE'S POKING THE BEAR.

NARRATOR: 300 MILES TO THE NORTHEAST,

AND THE RUGGED TRAIL TO REMOTE KINGFISHER...

DARRELL: WELL, HERE I AM WITH MY LOAD.

[LOUD CLUNK] WHOA.

DARRELL: ANOTHER ROUGH WINTER ROAD.

NARRATOR: DARRELL'S MAKING GOOD TIME

WITH THE LOAD HE SWIPED FROM POLAR,

AND HIS STRATEGY OF MOVING FASTER THAN HIS RIVAL

LOOKS TO BE PAYING OFF.

AH, BOY, GOT A ROUGH ROAD THOUGH.

[PHONE RINGING] [AIR BRAKES HISS]

[BEEPS PHONE ON] HELLO?

MARK: DARRELL! DARRELL: MARK.

YOU'RE HOOKED ON TO MY KINGFISHER LOAD.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M NOT HOOKED ON TO YOUR KINGFISHER LOAD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK THAT UP IN THREE DAYS.

THEY TOLD ME THAT YOU COULDN'T TAKE IT FOR THREE DAYS,

I TOLD THEM I COULD TAKE IT RIGHT NOW,

AND THEY SAID GET IT OUT OF HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, DARRELL,

WHY DO YOU STILL GOTTA RIDE MY COATTAILS?

AH, YOU KNOW, A CUSTOMER IS A CUSTOMER.

WHO SAYS THEY'RE YOUR CUSTOMERS?

WHATEVER DARRELL.

I'M- [HANGS UP]

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FIGURE THEY'RE YOUR-

[DIAL TONE] HELLO?

DOESN'T WANT TO FINISH THE CONVERSATION,

JUST WANTS TO HANG UP ON ME BECAUSE HE KNOWS I'M RIGHT AND HE'S WRONG.

SO, THAT'S MY LOAD.

HE COULDN'T GET TO IT FOR THREE DAYS,

I GOT TO IT RIGHT TODAY, AND I'M OUTTA HERE.

I NEED TO PROGRAM HIS NUMBER INTO MY PHONE

SO WHEN MY PHONE RINGS I KNOW NOT TO ANSWER IT.

NARRATOR: AS DARRELL MOVES ON WITH THE POACHED PRIZE...

150 MILES TO THE WEST...

LISA: I'VE REALLY GOTTA GET THESE LOADS TO POPLAR HILL

ON TIME, UNDAMAGED, BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT RIDING ON IT.

NARRATOR: HIS BUSINESS PARTNER, LISA KELLY,

SCORED AN EXCLUSIVE NEW CONTRACT.

LISA: THIS IS A CONTRACT, AND I'VE GOT THE FIRST ONE IN,

SO IT'S IMPORTANT THAT I MAKE THOSE RELATIONSHIPS.

WE JUST HAVE TO PROVE TO OUR CUSTOMER

THAT WE CAN HANDLE THIS BIG CONTRACT.

WE'RE ABLE TO TAKE ON MORE CHALLENGES.

[TRUCK ENGINE ROARS]

NARRATOR: BUT TODAY...

I'M STUCK IN THE STUPID RUTS.

NARRATOR: SHE'S BATTLING A ROAD WITH CONDITIONS

UNLIKE ANYTHING SHE'S FACED THIS SEASON.

[LOUD THUDS]

[CHAINS CLINK]

NARRATOR: THE TRAIL TO POPLAR HILL REFROZE

AFTER A WAVE OF WARM TEMPERATURES,

LEAVING BEHIND A MESS OF FROZEN RUTS AND BUMPS

THAT ARE PUNISHING HER TRUCK AT EVERY TURN.

I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK ON A HILL SOMEWHERE,

BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT FOR GOING TOO FAST.

SO I'VE GOT TO FIND THAT HAPPY MEDIUM SPEED

THAT'S GONNA GET ME WHERE I'M GOING,

AND NOT DESTROY EVERYTHING IN THE PROCESS.

NARRATOR: IT'S A CHALLENGING MISSION, BUT THE YOUNG COMPANY

HAS GOT TO GRAB WHATEVER THEY CAN GET.

IT FEELS HARD TO GET UP SOME OF THESE HILLS BECAUSE OF THE RUTS,

AND THE RUTS ARE DETERMINING WHERE MY TRUCK'S GONNA GO INSTEAD OF ME.

[CHAINS CLINK]

OH MAN, I'M STUCK IN THE RUTS.

SEE, I DON'T EVEN NEED TO DRIVE.

IT JUST DRIVES ITSELF 'CAUSE IT'S IN THE RUTS.

I'M GONNA JUST COAST OVER THIS HILL.

♪♪♪♪♪

LOOK, MA, NO HANDS!

I MIGHT BREAK SOMETHING, LIKE MY TRANSMISSION.

[TRUCK ENGINE ROARS, TIRES BANG]

WHOA!

♪♪♪♪♪

WOO-HOO!

[LOUD CLANGING]

[LAUGHING]

WELL, THAT WAS INTERESTING.

[LAUGHS] THOSE RUTS UP THERE THREW ME AROUND.

I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FALL OFF.

LET ME SEE IF I'VE STILL GOT LUMBER.

YEAH, STILL GOT LUMBER.

NARRATOR: TO REACH POPLAR HILL,

LISA WILL HAVE TO ENDURE 100 MORE MILES OF SUICIDAL ROAD CONDITIONS.

LISA: HOLY SMOKES!

NARRATOR: IF SHE AND HER TRUCK SURVIVE THE TRIP.

LISA: THIS IS GONNA BE A NIGHTMARE.

♪♪♪♪♪

NARRATOR: COMING UP...

[TRUCK HORN HONKS]

TODD: IF IT LOOKS LIKE I'M STRESSED, IT'S BECAUSE I AM.

DEALING WITH GREAT, BIG OVERSIZED LOADS LIKE THIS

ON THE ICE ROAD, IT'S NOT A WHOLE LOT OF FUN.

NARRATOR: TODD DEWEY'S LOOKING TO MAKE HISTORY.

TODD: BIG LOAD, OVERWEIGHT, SKINNY-ASS ROAD,

BUMPS IN THE ROAD, LOW LOAD DECK, ICE CROSSINGS.

I MEAN, REALLY, DO I NEED TO SAY ANY MORE THAN THAT?

NARRATOR: HAULING 130,000 POUND OVERSIZED CRANE -

THE HEAVIEST THAT'S EVER BEEN ATTEMPTED

OVER THE TRAIL'S ICE CROSSING.

SEE HOW MORE BUMPIER THIS ROAD IS?

BECAUSE OF THE WEIGHT.

YOU CAN FEEL ALL THE BUMPS.

THESE ROADS ARE NOT SMOOTH. THEY'RE VERY BUMPY.

LOTS OF FREAKING BIG, HUGE, LIKE YOU KNOW,

THREE, FOUR FOOT TALL SPEED BUMPS

WITH ALL THE LOAD DECK, YOU CAN'T GET OVER Sááá LIKE THAT.

YOU SEE, THIS Sááá IS HEAVY,

SO YOU'RE FEELING EVER LITTLE BUMP.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

HANG ON!

[TRUCK WHINES]

THERE'S A LITTLE HIGH CENTRE FOR YA.

WHOA!

[LOUD CLANGING]

WE FLATTENED OUT THAT HILL WITH THE LOAD DECK A LITTLE BIT MORE.

STRESS LEVEL IS GONNA BE HIGH ALL DAY

UNTIL THIS MACHINE IS OFF MY BACK.

NARRATOR: AS THE SNOW STARTS PICKING UP...

TODD: ICE CROSSING'S JUST RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL HERE.

NARRATOR: IT'S TIME FOR TODD TO PUT IT ALL ON THE LINE,

AND FACE THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF HIS TRUCKING CAREER.

[AIR BRAKES HISS]

THIS IS WHERE THE REAL STRESS BEGINS RIGHT HERE.

I CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES WHATSOEVER, AT ALL.

IT HAS TO BE CLOSED DOWN.

NARRATOR: TO TAKE EVERY SAFETY PRECAUTION POSSIBLE,

THE CROSSING IS CLOSED TO ALL TRAFFIC,

SO NO OTHER TRUCKS CAN FURTHER PRESSURE THE ICE.

BUT THIS CROSSING'S PROVED UNSTABLE BEFORE.

AND WAS EVEN SHUT DOWN

WHEN SEVERE CRACKS MADE IT TOO RISKY FOR TRAVEL.

[WIND GUSTS]

TODD: WORST CASE SCENARIO THAT COULD EVER POSSIBLY BE,

IS A PHONE CALL FROM MARK TO MY WIFE SAYING,

HEY, YOUR HUSBAND FELL THROUGH THE ICE TODAY,

WE WERE UNABLE TO RECOVER HIM.

AND THAT'S A PHONE CALL I DON'T EVER, EVER,

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

I DON'T EVEN LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT.

THOSE EMOTIONS NEVER STOP RUNNING THROUGH YOUR HEAD,

AND THAT'S JUST PART OF THE JOB.

I'M A NERVOUS WRECK. I'VE BEEN A NERVOUS WRECK ALL DAY.

IT'S ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE 39 TONNES ON ANY, ANY LAKE

IS THE MAXIMUM WEIGHT FOR ALL THESE ICE ROADS.

THAT'S TRUCK, LOAD, EVERYTHING.

♪♪♪♪♪

[WINDSHIELD WIPERS SWISH]

[SIGHS]

LOCKED REAR ENGINE, CROSS MY FINGERS,

[ROLLING] WE'RE GOING OUT ON THE ICE.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

[ICE POPPING]

HEART'S ALREADY POUNDING.

I'M TAKING THIS OFF.

I WANT MY STOCKING CAP ON. IT'S GONNA GET COLD.

NARRATOR: IN CASE OF EMERGENCY...

Fááááá HEAVY SON OF A BITCH, TOO.

NARRATOR: TODD KEEPS THE DOOR OPEN,

SO HE CAN MAKE A QUICK ESCAPE IF THE WORST HAPPENS.

GOD, THIS IS SOME SCARY-ASS Sááá RIGHT HERE.

♪♪♪♪♪

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE JERKY WITH THE THROTTLE EITHER,

YOU WANT TO BE AS SMOOTH AS YOU CAN.

Fááá THAT'S A COLD SON OF A BITCH, I DON'T CARE.

YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT THE WATER WOULD FEEL LIKE.

[ICE CRACKS, WATER BUBBLES]

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

SO FAR, SO GOOD.

IT'S A LOUD SON OF A BITCH OUT THERE,

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,

BUT HE'S HOLDING UP.

♪♪♪♪♪

[LOUD CRACK] THAT IS LOUD.

[CRACKING]

I MEAN Fááááá LOUD.

♪♪♪♪♪

DAYS LIKE THIS IT MAKES A GUY WONDER

IF THE PAYCHEQUE IS ACTUALLY WORTH IT, OR NOT.

THIS IS NERVE WRACKING RIGHT HERE.

BIGGEST LOAD EVER -

BIGGEST LOAD IN HISTORY TO CROSS THIS ICE RIGHT HERE,

I'M HAULING RIGHT NOW.

[TRUCK TIRES CRUNCH ON ICE]

NOW SHE'S MAKING SOME NOISE. Fááá!

THIS, THIS IS UNCALLED FOR.

TALK ABOUT EFFIN' SCARY.

COME ON, BABY, HOLD TOGETHER.

I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY Fááááá LIFE.

THAT IS SOME LOUD [BLEEP] [BLEEP].

I'VE JUST GOT TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF

THE JOY THAT I'M BRINGING COMMUNITY AND THOSE KIDS

TO HAVE A BRAND NEW SCHOOL, AND I'M HELPING THEM OUT.

IT TAKES A LOT TO MAKE ME NERVOUS, AND I'M NERVOUS.

♪♪♪♪♪

HOLD TOGETHER, BABY. I'M RIGHT AT -

[LOUD CRACKING] OOH! - THE SPEED LIMIT.

IS THERE A Fááááá TRUCK OUT ON THE Fááááá ICE?

ARE YOU Fááááá KIDDING ME?!

UN-Fááááá-BELIEVABLE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BLOCK IN THE ROAD?!

TODD: OOH!

IT TAKES A LOT TO MAKE ME NERVOUS, AND I'M NERVOUS.

NARRATOR: TODD DEWEY'S LOOKING TO SHATTER THE COMPANY RECORD BOOKS.

TODD: UN-Fááááá-BELIEVABLE!

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BLOCK IN THE ROAD?!

NARRATOR: BUT AS ANOTHER TRUCK CREEPS ON TO THE CROSSING,

IT MAY BE BREAKING THE SCALES.

THERE AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BE NOBODY ELSE ON THIS Fááááá ICE.

I DON'T EVEN, IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S STOPPED,

LIKE HE'S JUST SITTING THERE.

NARRATOR: WITH 130,000 POUND CRANE

ALREADY PUSHING THE FRAGILE ICE,

EVEN A SINGLE TRUCK COULD BE ENOUGH

TO START THE PRESSURE WAVES FLOWING FROM BOTH DIRECTIONS,

AND SHATTER THE ICE.

[CRASHING]

RISKING MY LIFE TO HELP THESE GUYS OUT,

AND THEN WE ASK THEM TO JUST PLEASE KEEP THE ROAD BLOCKED.

NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THIS ICE CROSSING!

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

OH, HE'S TURNING AROUND, HE'S GONNA GO BACK THAT WAY.

UNBELIEVABLE.

ABSOLUTELY SCARY.

NARRATOR: A STRAY TRUCK RETREATS,

BUT NOW TODD MUST MAKE IT TO THE CROSSING'S EDGE,

WHERE THE ICE IS AT ITS THINNEST.

TODD: THAT'S CRACKING CLEAR ACROSS THERE.

YOU CAN HEAR IT POPPING. GO OVER THERE ON THE OTHER...

THREE FRICKING- 30 FEET OVER YOU CAN HEAR THAT Sááá CRACKING.

I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYTIME AGAIN SOON,

I'M GONNA TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW.

[TRUCK TIRES CRUNCH, ICE CRACKING]

CAN YOU HEAR THAT Sááá?!

MY GOODNESS, THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT.

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE, IT AIN'T RIGHT.

TELL YOU WHAT, I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO EAT FOR A Fááááá WEEK,

MY STOMACH IS IN SUCH KNOTS RIGHT NOW.

I AIN'T NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE.

[ICE CRACKING]

COME ON, GIRL. LITTLE BIT FARTHER.

OH, COME ON. WE'RE JUST ABOUT TO LAND.

LITERALLY ABOUT A FOOTBALL FIELD LENGTH AWAY.

COME ON!

COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!

[ICE CRACKING]

ALMOST THERE, BABY. THAT'S IT!

OFF THE ICE!

ONE OF THE LARGEST LOADS EVER!

NOW THAT'S A Fááááá ACCOMPLISHMENT RIGHT THERE.

NARRATOR: WITH THE CRANE SAFELY ACROSS...

TODD: WOO! [RELIEVED EXHALE]

NARRATOR: TODD NOT ONLY DELIVERS THE BIGGEST HAUL OF HIS CAREER...

TODD: SUPER STOKED!

HONESTLY, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN,

AND I MADE IT.

NARRATOR: AND ALSO THE HEAVIEST IN COMPANY HISTORY.

TODD: TIGHT.

I JUST COMPLETED THE HEAVIEST LOAD

TO EVER GO ACROSS THAT ICE CROSSING, EVER IN HISTORY.

NARRATOR: AND PROVING WITHOUT A DOUBT WHY HE'S POLAR'S TOP DOG.

THAT WAS THE BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT EVER.

♪♪♪♪♪

NARRATOR: 150 MILES TO THE EAST, ON THE ROAD TO KINGFISHER...

DARRELL: BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN,

I GOT A LOAD GONNA KINGFISHER.

MARK WAS SITTING ON IT FOR THREE DAYS.

I TOLD THEM I COULD GET IT OUT TODAY.

NARRATOR: DARRELL'S OUT TO PROVE HIS COMPANY IS QUICKER THAN THE COMPETITION.

DARRELL: NOW I HAVE IT.

I TOLD THEM I'D GET IT DONE.

IF THIS LOAD DOESN'T GET DELIVERED ON TIME,

LIKE I SAID IT WOULD, IT COULD HURT.

GOT A ROCKY STRETCH HERE.

COMING AROUND THE CORNER INTO A BOULDER PATCH.

[LOUD CLANGING] WHOA!

I GOT SOME ROUGH ROADS UNDERNEATH ME.

OOH! OOH! OOH! AH, ROCKS!

ROAD'S NARROW, AND IT'S GOT ROCKS STICKING UP IN IT.

[LOUD CLANG]

THE ROAD'S ROUGH AS Sááá.

[CRASH] OH, WOW!

HOLY Sááá.

[SCREECHING]

I'VE GOT A STRANGE NOISE COMING OUT.

I'VE DEFINITELY GOT SOMETHING GOING WRONG.

I CAN HEAR IT OUTSIDE, THAT'S FOR SURE.

[SCREECHING]

CAN'T BE HAVING THIS.

THIS COMPANY DOESN'T NEED ANOTHER BREAKDOWN.

IF I HAVE PROBLEMS IN HERE RIGHT NOW,

I'M DEAD IN THE WATER.

[SCREECHING]

SEEMS LIKE IT'S GETTING WORSE.

Fááá!

I'M GONNA STOP HERE, I'M GONNA POP MY HOOD OPEN,

AND I'M GONNA SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE Fááá

IS GOING ON WITH MY TRUCK.

[SCREECHING]

♪♪♪♪♪

WELL, HEY, THIS IS PROBABLY IT, RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT HERE.

I CAN FEEL THE AIR LEAKING OUT OF IT.

NARRATOR: THE ROUGH ROAD HAS WREAKED HAVOC ON DARRELL'S RIG,

BUSTING A HOSE CLAMP,

AND CAUSING HIM TO LOSE AIR PRESSURE, FAST.

SO THE HOSE GOES TO MY EGR COOLER,

SO THE TURBO PRESSURE IS LEAKING OUT ON THE EXHAUST SIDE.

NARRATOR: WITH THE PROMISED LOAD STRANDED

200 MILES FROM THE CLOSEST TOWN,

THE NEW BUSINESS OWNER MAY HAVE BITTEN OFF MORE THAN HE CAN CHEW.

I DON'T HAVE A HOSE CLAMP,

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE Fááá I'M GONNA DO.

DARRELL: I'VE GOT A BUSTED HOSE CLAMP.

I CAN FEEL THE AIR LEAKING OUT OF IT.

I DON'T HAVE A HOSE CLAMP,

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE Fááá I'M GONNA DO.

NARRATOR: DARRELL WARD'S DEAD IN THE WATER.

I DON'T HAVE Sááá IN HERE TO FIX IT WITH.

NARRATOR: AND NOW TO BACK UP HIS CLAIM

HE CAN DELIVER FASTER THAN POLAR,

HE'S GOTTA GET BACK ON THE ROAD FAST,

OR RISK DESTROYING HIS COMPANY'S REPUTATION.

DARRELL: I NEED SOMETHING THAT I CAN WRAP AROUND IT, AND TIGHTEN IT UP.

GOT PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY.

HAVE SOME Fááá ZIP TIES THOUGH.

I BET I CAN MAKE A ZIP TIE WORK.

IF I PUT TWO OF THEM ON, MAYBE THAT'LL HOLD.

I GUESS ONE WAY TO FIND OUT IS TRY IT.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

NARRATOR: DARRELL'S PLAN IS TO SECURE THE HOSE

USING PLASTIC ZIP TIES,

HOPING THEY'RE STRONG ENOUGH TO SEAL THE LEAK.

DARRELL: GOT TO PUT A COUPLE OF THEM ON THERE

BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY HARD TO GET IT TIGHT.

I CAN GET IT TO GO AROUND IT.

THERE'S ONE.

WHEN YOU'RE OUT IN THE BUSH,

YOU DON'T HAVE THE PARTS STORE ON THE NEXT CORNER,

AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO FIX THIS PROBLEM,

YOU'D BETTER HAVE A GOOD IMAGINATION.

I'M GONNA RUN WITH TWO, AND SEE IF THAT'S ENOUGH.

I DON'T FEEL AIR COMING OUT OF IT.

WELL, I'M GONNA TRY THAT AND RUN WITH IT,

AND SEE IF IT FIXED IT.

[HOOD AND DOOR SHUTS] ALL RIGHT.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

WELL, WE'LL SEE HOW MY REPAIR JOB DID.

NARRATOR: WITH A QUICK FIX IN PLACE,

DARRELL LISTENS TO HEAR IF HE'S STILL LEAKING AIR.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

DARRELL: WELL, I TOOK CARE OF THAT NOISE, DIDN'T IT.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN.

WHEN YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD,

IT'S HARD TO CARRY YOUR SHOP WITH YOU,

SO YOU THROW IN WHAT YOU KNOW IS NECESSITY,

AND MAKE IT WORK.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A DISASTER.

SO ALWAYS CARRY ENOUGH TOOLS TO GET THE JOB DONE -

KEEP ON TRUCKING.

NARRATOR: 50 MILES UP THE ROAD...

DARRELL: ALL RIGHT, ROCK 'N ROLL.

NARRATOR: DARRELL REACHES KINGFISHER.

THAT'S HOW WE DO THAT IN MY Sááá NEIGHBOURHOOD.

NARRATOR: MAKING GOOD ON HIS PROMISE,

AND PROVING HIS NEW COMPANY IS A MAJOR PLAYER ON THE WINTER ROADS.

THIS COMPANY IS REALLY STARTING TO MAKE A NAME FOR ITSELF.

LISA AND I HAVE BEEN PUSHING REALLY HARD

TO GET THE JOBS DONE,

GET THE LOADS DELIVERED ON TIME.

THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

NARRATOR: WHILE DARRELL SCORES BIG,

200 MILES TO THE WEST, IN ST. THERESA POINT...

ART: I DON'T GET PAID FOR Fááááá SHOVELLING SNOW, MAN.

NARRATOR: ART BURKE MAY BE DIGGING HIS OWN GRAVE WITH POLAR.

ART: YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT Fááááá DOING IT.

I'M NOT Fááááá DOING IT, THIS Sááá.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE Fááá I'M GONNA DO,

BUT I'M NOT SHOVELLING THAT.

NARRATOR: ON AN URGENT MISSION TO DELIVER AN ABANDONED TRAILER BY MORNING...

ART: SO NOW WHAT?

NARRATOR: MOUNTAINS OF SNOW AND ICE ARE PROVING TOO MUCH TO OVERCOME.

ART: IF THAT Fááááá SNOW WASN'T THERE, MAN,

I'D BE ABLE TO Fááá RIGHT OFF WITH IT.

[SNOW CRUNCHING UNDERFOOT]

ART: WHOA. WOO.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND HERE, B'Y, A BOBCAT.

NARRATOR: BUT ART MAY HAVE FOUND AN EVEN BIGGER SHOVEL.

ART: IT'S A LONG TIME SINCE I DROVE ONE OF THEM,

LIKE A LONG Fááááá TIME.

I'M PROBABLY GONNA BE [BLEEP] MY [BLEEP].

NOW JUST PUT IT BACK WHERE IT WAS,

AND NOBODY WILL [BLEEP] NOTICE.

[KISSING SOUNDS]

[ENGINE ROARS]

HEY! HEY! HEY!

HOLY [BLEEP]!

♪♪♪♪♪

ART: YEAH!

♪♪♪♪♪

THANK [BLEEP] THAT'S OVER WITH.

GONNA PUT THIS Fááááá THING BACK,

GET THE Fááá OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY FIGURE OUT THAT I STOLE IT.

BUT WE GOT 'ER, THAT'S THE MAIN THING, RIGHT? WE GOT 'ER.

NARRATOR: WITH THE SNOW CLEARED...

ART: OKAY, LET'S TRY HER NOW.

NARRATOR: NOW COMES THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.

[TIRES SPINNING]

ART: NO. [BLEEP]. NO!

NARRATOR: BUT THE TIRES ARE STILL FROZEN INTO THE GROUND...

AND THE TRAILER AIN'T BUDGING.

[BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

IT WON'T EVEN Fááááá JIGGLE.

[SMASHING ICE]

NEVER Fááááá ENDS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE Fááá I'M GONNA DO NOW.

ART: WE'RE [BLEEP] IN DEEP THERE, BUDDY.

NARRATOR: ART BURKE'S SPENT 14 HOURS TRYING TO DIG HIS WAY OUT OF TROUBLE.

ART: ISN'T THIS LOVELY?

NARRATOR: BUT SO FAR, THE ABANDONED TRAILER AND ITS FROZEN WHEELS

ARE WINNING THE WAR.

OKAY LET'S TRY 'ER NOW.

[CAB DOOR SHUTS]

[TRUCK ENGINE REVS]

[TIRES SPINNING]

COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!

LET'S TURN AND Fááááá BURN HERE!

[BLEEP]!

[TIRES SPINNING]

[BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

WE HAVE ONE WHEEL THAT'S NOT TURNING ON THE [BLEEP] NOW.

YEAH, WE'RE Fááááá IN DEEP THERE, BUDDY.

[SMASHING ICE]

[BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

♪♪♪♪♪

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.

OKAY, LET'S TRY 'ER NOW.

[CAB DOOR SHUTS]

[TRUCK ENGINE REVS]

AH, COME ON, FOR Fááá SAKE.

[TRUCK ENGINE REVS]

I'M JUST ABOUT READY TO Fááááá COMPLETELY Fááááá LOSE IT.

[TRUCK ENGINE REVS]

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA B'Y, WHOA! MOVE!

HA HA! WE GOT THE [BLEEP], BUDDY.

NARRATOR: ART'S DETERMINATION FINALLY PAYS OFF

AS THE TRAILER IS FREE AND ON ITS WAY BACK TO WINNIPEG.

ART: LONG DAY, B'Y. WHAT A [BLEEP] SHOW, EH?

TODAY WAS A ROUGH DAY FOR ME, MAN.

MY LEG HURTS, MY WRIST HURTS.

THIS WASN'T A GOOD LOAD.

THIS WAS A TERRIBLE LOAD,

AND THE NEXT TIME THEY GIVE ME A LOAD THAT'S ALL [BLEEP] LIKE THIS,

I'M NOT [BLEEP] TAKING IT.

BUT WE GOT THE LOAD, AND THAT'S THE MAIN THING. THAT'S...

THAT'S ALL I GIVE A Fááá ABOUT.

NARRATOR: WHILE ART HEADS FOR HOME,

150 MILES TO THE SOUTH...

LISA: SO I'VE REALLY GOTTA GET TO POPLAR HILL

BECAUSE I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE A GOOD REPUTATION

FOR THE DARRELL AND LISA COMPANY.

NARRATOR: LISA'S TRYING TO DELIVER ON A CONTRACT SHE WRANGLED

FOR THE NEW COMPANY.

LISA: THESE ROADS ARE YOU KNOW, THEY'RE PRETTY BUMPY,

SO I'VE SLOWED DOWN A LOT,

AND I DON'T WANT TO BREAK THE TRUCK.

NUMBER ONE, I LIKE IT,

NUMBER TWO, I GOTTA PAY FOR IT.

NARRATOR: FOR HOURS, LISA'S BEEN BATTLING THE DESTROYED WINTER ROAD...

[LOUD CLANGING]

NARRATOR: THROUGH EVERY BUMP...

LISA: WHOOOAAAA!

NARRATOR: AND HILL.

LISA: WHOA-HOO!

[LOUD CLANGING]

NARRATOR: NOW THE TRAIL'S GOT ONE MORE SURPRISE FOR HER.

LISA: OH CRAP.

BUT I CAN'T SEE THE OTHER SIDE AT ALL TO SEE HOW BIG IT IS,

OR IF IT'S A RIVER, OR IF IT'S A LAKE.

I CAN'T TELL.

NARRATOR: AN UNMARKED ICE CROSSING,

SHE'LL HAVE TO PASS IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT.

LISA: IT'S KIND OF RISKY TO ME.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA TRY THIS.

PULL MY LOAD OF LUMBER ACROSS THIS THING.

[ICE CRACKING]

I'M HAVING A HARD TIME SEEING WHERE THE HECK THE ROAD IS.

IT'S LIKE, IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE IT'S BEEN PLOUGHED RECENTLY,

IT JUST LOOKS LIKE TRACKS HAVE CROSSED IT.

I'M JUST TAKING IT CAREFUL.

[ICE CRACKING]

I CAN'T TELL WHERE THE OTHER SIDE IS.

I SEE EITHER A LIGHT OR SOMETHING REFLECTIVE.

I CAN'T TELL, I CAN'T TELL WHAT THAT IS.

THERE'S A SNOW CAT THAT'S LIKE,

IT'S LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH THE ICE!

♪♪♪♪♪

OKAY THAT'S, THAT'S NUTS. THAT'LL MAKE YOU RETHINK IT.

THERE'S A SNOW CAT ALREADY HALFWAY THROUGH THE ICE.

JUST YOU KNOW, JUST A MINI HEART ATTACK.

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU RESPECT THE ICE,

THE ICE WILL NEVER RESPECT YOU BACK.

YOU RESPECT THE ICE SO YOU CAN LIVE.

THE ICE DOESN'T CARE.

IT'LL EAT YOU LIKE YOU, LIKE YOU'RE NOBODY.

FREEZE RIGHT OVER TOP OF YOU

AND PRETEND YOU WERE NEVER THERE.

GEEZ. WELL HERE'S THE OTHER SIDE, THANK GOODNESS SAKES.

♪♪♪♪♪

WOO-HOO! I MADE IT!

[EXHALES]

OKAY.

I'M GLAD TO BE OFF THAT ICE.

WE'RE HERE. NICE!

NARRATOR: LISA SURVIVES THE JOURNEY TO POPLAR HILL.

LISA: ANOTHER LOAD FOR LISA AND DARRELL.

NARRATOR: WITH A BIG CONTRACT FILLED,

THE NEW BUSINESS OWNER'S GETTIN' IT DONE

AND THE BALANCE OF POWER ON THE WINTER ROADS

IS TRULY UP FOR GRABS.

I'M GLAD THIS TRIP WENT WELL, I DIDN'T FALL THROUGH THE ICE.

I GOT THE LOAD THERE ON TIME. I'M OUT OF HERE.

NARRATOR: NEXT TIME ON "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS"...

MAN: PLEASURE TO BE HERE.

NARRATOR: A NEW SOLDIER JOINS THE BATTLE.

I GOT MORE TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE THAN HOUDINI.

BUT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE ICE?

IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME OUT HERE.

NARRATOR: BUT THE ROUGH ROADS...

MAN: OH, HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO!

[LOUD CLANGING] [BLEEP]

NARRATOR: MAY WIN THE WAR.

HOLY Sááá!

NARRATOR: AND FOR THE VETERANS...

TODD: I'M STUCK.

NARRATOR: IT'S A FIGHT.

LISA: MAN, IT IS CRACKING.

NARRATOR: JUST TO STAY ALIVE.

LISA: AH!