Original subtitles

NARRATOR: NOW...

ON "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS..."

THERE'S ALWAYS SOME [BLEEP] THING GOING ON, AIN'T THERE?

NARRATOR: THE ICE IS CRACKIN'...

LISA: THIS LAKE, RIGHT THERE JUST WENT POP,

AND THEN IT HASN'T STOPPED CRACKING SINCE.

NARRATOR: THE MUD IS SLINGING...

POLAR IS OUT, VP EXPRESS IS IN.

[LAUGHTER]

NARRATOR: AS THE WAR ON THE WINTER ROADS...

GET OUT OF MY SHOP.

NARRATOR: SPINS OUT OF CONTROL.

YOU'RE ON MY [BLEEP] TURF HERE, BUD, MY [BLEEP] TURF.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

NARRATOR: IN WINNIPEG, MANITOBA...

I HAVE A NICE SHOP, I GOT A NICE TRUCK,

I OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO MAKE IT WORK.

ALL I GOT TO DO IS GET SOME NICE LOADS.

IT'S A GREAT FEELING BEING ON YOUR OWN.

I'LL MAKE IT WORK. ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL.

NARRATOR: AFTER DARRELL WARD QUIT POLAR...

MARK: YOU'RE IN, OR YOU'RE OUT. DARRELL: RIGHT ON, I'M OUT THE DOOR.

NARRATOR: THE MONTANA LEGEND GOT HIS OWN COMPANY UP AND RUNNING.

DARRELL: GOOD, I'M BACK IN BUSINESS.

NARRATOR: QUICKLY BANKED HIS FIRST HAUL.

DARRELL: [HONKS] THANKS FOR THE LOAD, MARK!

HELLO? YEAH. IT'S DARRELL.

NARRATOR: NOW, WITH HIS OWN MONEY ON THE LINE,

HE'S LOOKING TO KEEP THE LOADS COMING

AND GIVE POLAR A RUN FOR THE MONEY.

RUNNING FOR MYSELF, I AT LEAST KNOW WHAT THE BOTTOM LINE IS.

YEAH, I CAN BE THERE SHORTLY.

ALL RIGHT, YEAH. THANKS, BYE.

AND I HAVE A GENERATOR GOING BACK TO WASAGAMACK.

FIRE THIS LITTLE THING UP, GET MY LOAD.

THAT WAS PROBABLY ANOTHER ONE OF MARK'S LOADS.

I'M NOT SURE, BUT I'M GUESSING IT PROBABLY WAS.

GOOD LUCK, MARK.

NARRATOR: AT POLAR HEADQUARTERS...

MARK: EVERYBODY'S TIRED, EVERYBODY'S BURNT OUT,

BUT I MEAN WE GOTTA PUSH HERE.

NARRATOR: WITH THE LOAD COUNT TIGHTENING UP,

BOSS MARK KOHAYKEWYCH IS FEELING THE HEAT.

OKAY, I'LL CALL YOU BACK. BYE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, WINNIPEG'S A BIG CITY,

LIKE WHY ARE THESE GUYS PLANTING SHOPS

JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM ME?

WHAT? THEY GOTTA KEEP AN EYE ON WHAT'S GOING ON,

THEY CAN'T THINK FOR THEMSELVES?

I ALREADY SAW DARRELL GOING BY WITH ONE OF MY LOADS

THAT ARE GOING TO WASAGAMACK WITH CULVERTS.

HE'S KIND OF BEING A PAIN IN MY ASS ALREADY,

I WANNA GO SEE WHAT HE'S UP TO DOWN THE ROAD

NOW THAT I KNOW WHERE HIS SHOP IS.

♪♪♪

MARK: KNOCK, KNOCK!

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', MARK?

MARK: COME TO CHECK OUT THE BIG, FANCY SHOP OF YOURS.

DARRELL: YEAH?

MARK: WHAT UH, WHAT YOU GOT COOKING HERE?

DARRELL: OH, YOU KNOW, JUST SERVICING MY TRUCK.

MARK: HUH. DARRELL: SOMETHING POLAR DON'T DO.

OH, IT DOESN'T, EH? DARRELL: NOT USUALLY.

OH, OKAY.

HOW'S THINGS GOING?

GOOD, BE GOOD IF YOU DIDN'T STEAL MY [BLEEP].

GOTTA DO SOMETHING, DON'T I?

SO YOU JUST DECIDED YOU'RE GONNA PARK IN FRONT OF MY SHOP,

RUB IT IN? STEAL THE CULVERT LOAD?

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE SAYING IT'S YOUR LOAD

WHEN IT WAS ON MY TRUCK.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WERE A LITTLE SHORTER

AND A LITTLE FATTER, I COULD CALL YOU HUGH.

DARRELL: GET OUT OF MY SHOP.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE [BLEEP] AROUND.

REMEMBER, YOU'RE ON MY [BLEEP] TURF HERE, BUD.

MY [BLEEP] TURF.

DARRELL: IT USED TO BE YOURS.

[BLEEP] YOU, DARRELL.

DARRELL: [BLEEP] OFF, MARK.

MARK COMING AND GETTING IN MY FACE,

NOT A GOOD [BLEEP] IDEA FOR HIM.

HE WANTS TO COME OUT HERE AND ACT LIKE THAT,

AND GET IN MY FACE, I'LL STOMP HIM IN TO THE [BLEEP] DIRT.

MARK: NO, I'M NOT GONNA GET INTIMIDATED BY HIM.

YOU KNOW, YOU WANNA GET ME PISSED OFF,

I'M PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW,

I'M GONNA DEFINITELY START HITTING HIM HARD.

NARRATOR: BUT DARRELL IS NOT MARK'S ONLY CONCERN...

VLAD: HEY HUGH, GOT A MINUTE? HUGH: YEAH.

VLAD: I JUST GOT A PHONE CALL,

CALLING US LOOKING FOR 150 LOADS GOING TO OXFORD HOUSE.

NARRATOR: ONE OF POLAR'S BIGGEST CONTRACTS MAY HAVE FALLEN

INTO THE HANDS OF RIVAL, VP EXPRESS.

WELL...

I ASKED HIM IF HE CALLED POLAR FIRST

BECAUSE POLAR HAD ALL THOSE LOADS

GOING TO OXFORD HOUSE LAST YEAR...

HUGH: YEAH. VLAD: AND HE SAID,

WE DON'T WANT TO SEE POLAR ON OUR PROPERTY EVER AGAIN.

NARRATOR: AND IT COULD BE THE KNOCK OUT PUNCH THEY'VE BEEN HOPING FOR.

SO WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ALMOST HALF A MILLION DOLLARS.

THIS'LL GIVE US A HELL OF A NAME.

I CANNOT PROMISE SOMETHING THAT I CANNOT KEEP.

WE CAN KEEP IT. BUT LET'S DO IT.

I MEAN, HOLY [BLEEP], THAT'LL PUT US ON THE MAP.

VLAD: THAT WILL.

OKAY, SO POLAR IS OUT, VP EXPRESS IS IN.

YEAH.

[BOTH LAUGH] HUGH: WAY TO GO.

NARRATOR: TWO HOURS LATER,

VP'S GOT THEIR TOP DRIVER ON THE CASE.

ALEX: I HAVE A LOAD OF PLASTIC SEPTIC TANKS GOING TO OXFORD HOUSE.

WE'RE BASICALLY GOING TO THE SAME PLACE STILL,

ROUGHLY THE SAME PLACES AS LAST YEAR.

NARRATOR: WITH HIS EXPERIENCE ON THE TRAIL,

ALEX DEBOGORSKI COULD BE THEIR ACE IN THE HOLE.

WHATEVER'S GOING ON BETWEEN HUGH, VLAD AND MARK,

HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

I'M PRETTY PLEASED.

IF I CAN GO ANOTHER MONTH

AND HUGH AND VLAD ARE AS HAPPY WITH ME AS THEY ARE RIGHT NOW,

THEN I'LL REALLY FEEL I ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.

♪♪♪

NARRATOR: BUT 200 MILES TO THE SOUTHEAST...

POLAR'S AIMING TO GET BACK ON TRACK.

WELL, THIS SHOULD BE FUN.

NARRATOR: AFTER LOSING OXFORD HOUSE,

TWO OF THEIR BEST ARE BLAZING A TRAIL ON NEW ROUTE.

THIS IS OUR FIRST RUN TO POPLAR HILL,

AND I'M LEADING THE CHARGE.

TODD'S RIGHT BEHIND ME.

NARRATOR: LISA KELLY AND TODD DEWEY,

ARE TRYING TO TAME THE WILD PATH TO POPLAR HILL,

ONE OF THE MOST REMOTE DESTINATIONS

ON THE WINTER ROADS.

TODD: FROZEN TUNDRA THAT WE'RE DRIVING ON.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'VE HEARD A LOT OF [BLEEP] FROM THE LOCALS -

YOU WON'T MAKE IT, THE SNOW'S TOO DEEP.

THAT KIND OF MAKES IT EVEN MORE OF A CHALLENGE, HUH,

LIKE I MEAN, I WANNA GET THE LOAD THERE, RIGHT.

LISA: [ON RADIO] IF THEY SAY WE CAN'T DO IT,

WELL, IT'S LIKE OH, WE'VE GOTTA TRY IT, DON'T WE?

TODD: HA HA, 10-4.

NARRATOR: IF THEY'RE SUCCESSFUL,

THE ROUTE COULD BECOME A NEW REVENUE STREAM FOR POLAR.

PRETTY MUCH ONE TRACK ROAD TODAY.

NARRATOR: BUT TO GET THERE...

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

NARRATOR: THEY'LL HAVE TO PASS THROUGH ONE OF NORTH AMERICA'S

LONGEST ICE CROSSINGS,

STRETCHING OVER TWO MILES.

LISA: [ON RADIO] LET'S STOP RIGHT HERE.

NARRATOR: LATE IN THE SEASON,

TEMPERATURES ARE ON THE RISE,

AND THE ICE IS SHOWING SIGNS OF WEAKENING.

LISA: [ON RADIO] ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO, LET'S GIVE THIS A SHOT, HERE.

NARRATOR: BUT WITH THE NEW CONTRACT ON THE LINE,

THE POLAR DRIVERS FORGE AHEAD.

AND I HOPE I MAKE IT.

[CHAINS CLINK]

I'LL GIVE YOU ABOUT A KILOMETRE,

AND I'LL HEAD ON OUT.

[TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLES]

OH MY GOSH.

[ICE CRACKING]

OH YEAH, [BLEEP] IT'S CRACKIN' ALL RIGHT.

IT'S DEFINITELY CRACKIN'.

♪♪♪

[ICE CRACKING]

NARRATOR: AT 25 TONNES,

LISA'S LOAD IS THE HEAVIEST

THE ICE HAS SUSTAINED ALL WINTER.

OH WOW.

SOME OF THE LOUD ONES, MAKING A LOT OF NOISE.

TODD: ALL RIGHT, SO, HERE I COME.

NARRATOR: AND NOW TODD ROLLS FORWARD,

ADDING ANOTHER 25 TONNES INTO THE MIX.

THIS ROAD IS THE MOST ICE CROSSINGS

THAT I'VE EVER BEEN ON,

IN MY WHOLE CAREER AS AN ICE ROAD TRUCKER.

YOU CAN TELL BY THE ROAD IT'S DEFINITELY WARM OUT TODAY.

IT'S REALLY WARM OUTSIDE TODAY.

YOU CAN FEEL THE TEMPERATURE CHANGE

LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE.

[CHAINS CLINK]

KIND OF SCARY.

[TIRES CRUNCH IN THE SNOW, CHAINS CLINK]

[ICE CRACKING]

TODD, HOW YOU DOIN' BACK THERE?

GET ME OUT OF HERE.

TODD, THIS LAKE RIGHT THERE JUST WENT POP,

AND THEN IT HASN'T STOPPED CRACKING SINCE.

TODD: OH. DEFINITELY A LOT LOUDER THAN NORMAL TODAY.

[ICE CRACKING] LISA: HOLY [BLEEP]!

NARRATOR: ON AN TWO MILE ICE CROSSING...

[ICE CRACKING]

NARRATOR: LISA KELLY AND TODD DEWEY,

ARE TRYING TO GET POLAR BACK IN THE GAME ON A NEW ROUTE.

TODD, THIS LAKE RIGHT THERE JUST WENT POP,

AND THEN IT HASN'T STOPPED CRACKING SINCE.

NARRATOR: BUT RISING TEMPERATURES ARE WEAKENING THE ICE

OVER ONE OF NORTH AMERICA'S LONGEST CROSSINGS.

DEFINITELY A LOT LOUDER THAN NORMAL TODAY.

[BLEEP]

[ICE CRACKING] LISA: HOLY [BLEEP]!

OH MY GOSH.

SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME.

[ON RADIO] THAT WAS STRAIGHT UP LIKE FIREWORKS

LIKE EXPLODED AND THEN MADE ALL THAT LIKE RESIDUAL SOUND.

OH MY GOODNESS.

I WEAKENED IT FOR YOU THERE.

♪♪♪

ALL RIGHT, I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE, SAFE AND SOUND.

DON'T GO ANY FASTER THAN TEN, THOUGH.

NARRATOR: LISA MAKES IT TO THE CROSSING'S EDGE.

10-4.

NARRATOR: BUT TODD'S STILL GOT A MILE TO GO,

AND HE'S GOTTA SURVIVE THE DAMAGE TO THE ICE

LEFT BEHIND IN LISA'S WAKE.

[ICE CRACKING]

♪♪♪

HOLY SMOKES!

[ICE CRACKING] THIS IS MAKING ME REALLY NERVOUS!

[WATER BUBBLES]

HOLLY, SWEET LORD.

LISA, RIGHT WHERE YOU TOLD ME YOU HEARD THAT ICE POPPING,

I SWEAR TO GOD YOU SPREAD THE ICE APART

ABOUT THREE TO FOUR INCHES OF A CRACK.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? IT WAS OPEN THREE TO FOUR INCHES?

TODD: IT WAS LIKE A BIG LIGHTNING BOLT

RIGHT DOWN THE CENTRE OF THE ICE.

LISA: HOLY CRAP!

I TOLD YOU I LEFT YOU A PRESENT ON THE ICE, HUH?

TODD: I KNOW, BABY.

OFF THE ICE, SAFE AND SOUND! LISA, I MADE 'ER.

YEAH, 10-4 THERE, GOOD BUDDY.

NARRATOR: THE CONVOY TAMED THE CROSSING,

BUT THEY STILL HAVE OVER 30 MILES TO GO.

BACK AT POLAR HEADQUARTERS...

ART: MORNING, SIR.

LET'S GO FIND OUT WHERE THE [BLEEP] WE'RE GOING, BOY.

NARRATOR: TEAM-MATE ART BURKE IS FINALLY GETTING BACK ON THE ROAD.

[SHUTS DOOR]

NARRATOR: ON HIS LAST TRIP...

ART WAS GROUNDED BY AUTHORITIES

WHEN HIS PAPERWORK WASN'T IN ORDER.

ART: SO THAT PERFORMANCE COST ME $490 DOLLARS,

AND THEY SHUT ME DOWN FOR THREE [BLEEP] DAYS.

NARRATOR: NOW HE'S GOT A NEW LOAD WAITING FOR HIM IN THE YARD.

BUT FIRST...

MARK: ART. ART: HOW YOU DOIN' THIS MORNING, BUDDY?

NARRATOR: HE'LL HAVE TO GET THROUGH A MEETING WITH THE BOSS.

MARK: GOT A COUPLE OF ISSUES THAT HAVE OCCURRED HERE

IN THE LAST COUPLE DAYS, EH?

DO YOU NEED SOME HELP WITH THE LOG BOOKS?

DO YOU NEED, LIKE IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU'RE NOT UNDERSTANDING?

ART: NO.

MART: JUST THE BIGGEST THING IS, ART, IS THE COMPANY LOSES POINTS,

AND OUR INSURANCE RATES GO UP.

THAT'S A BLACK MARK ON THE COMPANY THAT I DON'T LIKE TO,

I DON'T LIKE TO HAVE.

FINED ME $490 DOLLARS.

SO WE'LL BE DEDUCTING THAT OFF YOUR PAY THEN.

ALL RIGHT. MARK: ALL RIGHT.

MARK: I WAS HOT, I WAS GONNA FIRE HIM.

I DECIDED THAT YOU KNOW WHAT, BEING THAT LATE IN THE SEASON,

I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE TOO MANY OTHER OPTIONS.

I CAN'T HAVE THIS OCCUR AGAIN.

YES, I REALIZE THIS, BUDDY.

OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.

WHILE YOU WERE AWAY,

WE GOT A DEFECTION HERE IN THE COMPANY.

DARRELL WARD WENT OUT ON HIS OWN.

HOLY [BLEEP]!

MARK: YEAH, TURNS OUT THAT HE...

HE WAS ABLE TO SNAG A TRUCK DOWN THE ROAD,

AND HE'S MOVING IN, TAKING LOADS.

SO NOW I'VE GOT VP ON THIS SIDE,

AND I GOT DARRELL ON THIS SIDE.

ART: NOW WE'LL HAVE TO KICK ASS EVEN MORE.

MARK: WE'RE JUST GONNA KEEP DOING WHAT WE'RE DOING.

YOUR LOAD'S GETTIN' DELIVERED INTO THE YARD HERE,

WE'LL GET YOU HOOKED UP.

WE PUT BRAND NEW CHAINS ON FOR YOU,

SO YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY ISSUES.

DON'T WRECK MY NEW CHAINS. ALL RIGHT?

ART: OKAY, BUDDY.

OKAY, SO YOU'RE GOOD TO GO.

ART: ALL SET. MARK: RIGHT ON. THANKS.

ART: I CERTAINLY AM, BUDDY. MARK: HAVE A SAFE TRIP.

ART: TAKE CARE. MARK: TALK TO YOU.

ART: WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN.

WELL, ANOTHER TOUCH UP.

[LAUGHS] [BLEEP]!

AND DARRELL MOVED ON, EH? [BLEEP] [BLEEP].

I WAS KIND OF WONDERING ABOUT THAT.

I HEARD THEY HAD A RILE,

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THAT DRASTIC, EH?

SO NOW DARRELL IS THE COMPETITION.

HOLY [BLEEP].

WE'LL SEE HOW THAT TURNS OUT, EH?

NARRATOR: WHILE ART HEADS FOR CAT LAKE...

270 MILES TO THE NORTHEAST...

DARRELL: I'M HEADED INTO WASAGAMACK.

I'VE GOT AN OVERSIZE LOAD.

NARRATOR: DARRELL WARD'S HAULING A MAMMOTH

EIGHT AND A HALF TONNE GENERATOR.

DARRELL: I DON'T WANNA BE LATE.

I DEPEND ON THESE PEOPLE.

THEY'VE GAVE ME A COUPLE LOADS ALREADY,

AND I DON'T WANNA LET THEM DOWN NOW.

NARRATOR: THE $100,000 DOLLAR HAUL,

COULD FURTHER CEMENT DARRELL'S HOLD ON POLAR'S FORMER CONTACT.

POLAR'S GOT A NEW SHERIFF.

YOU KNOW, TODD, GOT THE YOUTH.

WHEN THE WISDOM CATCHES UP TO HIM,

HE'S GONNA DECIDE THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE SHERIFF

FOR THAT TOWN.

HE'LL BE MOVING ON.

I THINK I MADE A GOOD CHOICE HERE.

KIND OF LIKE THIS OLD TRUCK.

NARRATOR: BUT THIS HAUL IS NO EASY TASK.

THE NARROW ROAD TO WASAGAMACK

IS FILLED WITH TIGHT CORNERS

AND RUGGED TERRAIN.

DARRELL: THIS ROAD'S PRETTY SLICK TODAY.

YOU COME INTO THESE CORNERS AND YOU - YOU'LL FLY.

NARRATOR: A DEADLY COMBINATION FOR THE 9-FOOT HIGH,

12-FOOT WIDE, OVERSIZE LOAD.

DARRELL: OVERSIZE LOAD LIKE THIS, PUSHING IT HARD, IT'S HEAVY,

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING COMING AROUND THE CORNER.

LIKE A LOADED GUN,

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT'S GONNA GO OFF.

[CHAINS CLINK]

WHOA!

MAKE ROOM, I'M COMING THROUGH.

♪♪♪

[BLEEP] CORNER'S SLICK, DUDE.

ANY LOAD ON ANY ROAD.

I WANT AS MANY AS I CAN GET.

WHOA!

WHOA!

OH!

I'M BETTING SOMEBODY'S GONNA BE IN THE DITCH TODAY.

NARRATOR: IN ONTARIO, CANADA...

NOT A SIGN, OR A MARKER, OR A [BLEEP] THING, BUD.

NARRATOR: ART BURKE'S GUNNING FOR CAT LAKE.

ART: HERE WE GO, BOYS AND GIRLS.

NARRATOR: THE POLAR DRIVER'S IN DESPERATE NEED OF A SMOOTH RUN.

ART: WE GOT THE LOG BOOK ALL DOLLED UP AGAIN.

I PAID MY $490 DOLLARS.

NARRATOR: HOPING TO MAKE UP FOR THE MISTAKE

THAT NEARLY COST HIM HIS JOB.

THEY CAN STICK THE LOG BOOK UP THEIR [BLEEP] ASS.

ANYWAY, AFTER HAVING SAID THAT,

I'M HAVING A GOOD [BLEEP] DAY.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

ATTA GIRL.

ATTA GIRL!

NARRATOR: AROUND THE BEND...

CAT LAKE. WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.

NARRATOR: ART MAKES IT TO HIS DROP-OFF POINT.

[DOOR SHUTS]

ART: HOW YOU DOIN'?

NARRATOR: AND POLAR BANKS A KEY LOAD.

[BEEPING]

SO FAR, THE TRIP'S GONE OFF WITHOUT A HITCH.

YOU GONNA GO FOUR KILOMETRES IN HERE,

AND IT'S PRETTY NARROW,

BUT YOU'RE GONNA COME AROUND A RIGHT HAND BEND,

AND IT'S REALLY TIGHT.

SO STAY WAY UP TO YOUR LEFT.

THAT'S THE BRIDGE THAT CAUSES THE MOST TROUBLE.

ART: THAT'S THE ONE THEY FLIP OVER ON, IS IT?

MAN: YEAH SOME OF THE TIMBER'S ARE ROTTEN,

SO IF YOU DROP ONE OF YOUR TIRES INTO THERE...

MART: THAT'S IT. MAN: YOU'RE HOOPED.

NARRATOR: BUT THE ROAD BACK'S BEEN SHUT DOWN,

FORCING ART TO TAKE A RARELY TRAVELLED ALTERNATIVE ROUTE.

I SHOULD HAVE STUCK TO MY ORIGINAL PLAN IN LIFE...

[DOOR SHUTS]

AWAY WE GO, EH?

[WING GUSTS]

NARRATOR: AS THE SUN SETS OVER ONTARIO...

100 MILES TO THE NORTHWEST...

IT'S REALLY ROUGH GOING HERE.

NARRATOR: LISA KELLY AND TODD DEWEY ARE BRAVING THE BRUTAL TRAIL

TO REMOTE POPLAR HILL.

JIMINY CHRISTMAS!

AY YAI YAI, ANOTHER ONE OF THESE.

NARRATOR: BUT THE TOWN'S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STEEP GRADE

NICKNAMED "SUICIDE HILL."

OH, THIS IS GONNA BE INTERESTING.

OH, I LOVE THE EXCITEMENT OF NOT KNOWING

IF WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT, OR NOT.

[TRUCK ENGINE HUMS]

[GEAR CRANKS]

♪♪♪

HOLY [BLEEP], TODD, ROCK AND FREAKIN' ROLL.

THIS IS WHAT IT ALL COMES DOWN TO, RIGHT HERE.

IF YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST,

YOU'RE GONNA SLIDE RIGHT OFF THE ROAD INTO THE BANK,

AND THEN YOU'RE JUST SCREWED.

OH [BLEEP]!

HOLY, SWEET LORD HAVE MERCY!

NARRATOR: THE CONVOY CONQUERS THE HILL.

[WARNING BEEPS]

OH, MY GOSH, THERE IS NO POWER.

NARRATOR: BUT THEY'RE NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET.

CHECK ENGINE LIGHT'S COME ON, I MIGHT HAVE TO PULL OVER HERE.

YEAH.

[TRUCK SPUTTERS]

IT'S NOT SOUNDING RIGHT AT ALL.

[TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLES]

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING INITIALLY WRONG, BUT IT SOUNDS FUNNY.

[TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLES]

NARRATOR: A LEAK IS ZAPPING LISA'S POWER SUPPLY

CRIPPLING HER ABILITY TO NAVIGATE THE HILLY TERRAIN.

DUDE, THAT THING'S RUNNING OFF OF FOUR CYLINDERS.

IT'S GOT SIX, IT'S ONLY RUNNING OFF ABOUT FOUR.

[TRUCK ENGINE CHUGGING]

THIS IS NOT A SMALL PROBLEM.

I FEEL LIKE I'M PUSHING PRETTY HARD ON THE THROTTLE.

NARRATOR: WITH ONLY 10 MILES TO GO,

THE TEAM TRIES TO LIMP ON TO POPLAR HILL.

IT'S NOT SOUNDING RIGHT AT ALL,

SO LIKE, I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT TO POPLAR HILL

AND MAKE PLANS FROM THERE.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO FROM THERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO BECAUSE IT'S A HUGE,

HUGE DEAL, LIKE BROKEN TRUCK.

I'M PROBABLY GONNA HAVE TO GET A DIFFERENT TRUCK FROM HERE ON OUT.

I'M STILL MOVING,

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH THIS TRUCK.

LIKE, INTERNALLY SERIOUSLY WRONG.

I'VE GOT FAITH IN YOU, LIS, JUST KEEP 'ER MOVING.

LISA: YEAH, I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU I SEE LIGHTS UP AHEAD.

I'M HOPING THAT'S POPLAR HILL, LIKE REALLY BAD, RIGHT NOW.

NARRATOR: FINALLY LISA AND TODD MAKE IT TO THE DROP-OFF POINT.

WHILE POLAR ADDS TWO MORE LOADS...

LISA: WHAT'S THAT, MARK?

OKAY, LIMP IT BACK TO WINNIPEG?

THAT'S A REALLY LONG WAYS TO LIMP A TRUCK.

NARRATOR: MORE PRESSING MATTER IS LISA'S TRUCK.

LISA: THE LOAD GOT HERE BUT MY TRUCK'S STILL BROKE,

SO I HAD TO CALL MARK TO FIND OUT WHAT TO DO WITH IT,

AND HE SAID, LIMP IT TO WINNIPEG.

TODD: I'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOUR TRUCK AND YOUR MOTOR.

I JUST WANNA GET GOING.

LISA: YEAH, ME TOO.

THAT SUICIDE HILL ALL OF A SUDDEN GOT A LOT LARGER.

TODD: YES, IT DID.

NARRATOR: RUNNING THE WINTER ROADS WITHOUT FULL POWER

WOULD BE A CHALLENGE FOR EVEN THE MOST SEASONED TRUCKER.

STUFF GOT REAL.

NARRATOR: AND WITH THE STEEP INCLINE OF SUICIDE HILL LOOMING,

IT MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE.

I'LL JUST DO MY BEST TO GET THIS THING UP THIS HILL.

TODD: WE GOT SUICIDE HILL COMING UP,

I'M REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT IT,

DUE TO THE FACT IT'S REALLY STEEP,

BEEN A LOT OF PEOPLE STUCK ON IT.

THE HILL REALLY LEANS TO THE RIGHT

WHERE IT COULD REALLY SUCK YOU INTO THE SNOW BANK.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET IT JUST RIGHT

TO GET UP OVER THIS HILL EMPTY.

I GUESS WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT

IF WE'VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES OR NOT UP HERE.

[TRUCK ENGINE ROARS]

TODD: ALMOST.

♪♪♪

SON OF A BITCH, LIS, I MADE HER TO THE TOP.

I'M AT THE TOP OF THE HILL.

OH, YOU MADE IT? HOW WAS IT?

TODD: IT'S DEFINITELY ROUGH AND BUMPY,

AND A LOT STEEPER THAN WE THOUGHT.

LISA: HOW DO YOU THINK FIFTY PERCENT POWER'S GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW, THAT'S WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

I'M GONNA PARK UP HERE AT THE TOP

AND WAIT FOR YOU TO GIVE ME A HOLLER.

OKAY. I'LL GIVER A TRY THEN. THANKS.

SO I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO TRY TO HIT IT HARD.

[TRUCK ENGINE CHUGGING]

OH, MY GOSH! OH [BLEEP] I'M NOT EVEN GONNA MAKE IT.

[TRUCK WHINES] UH-OH.

[TRUCK WHEELS SPINNING] OH, I'M SPINNING.

I'M TOTALLY SPINNING.

TODD I'M SPINNING, I'M SPINNING.

TODD: OH [BLEEP].

UH, STILL MOVING, BUT I THINK I'M DIGGING HOLES ON IT.

TODD: OH [BLEEP].

LISA: OH MY GOSH.

NARRATOR: ON THE REMOTE TRAIL OUT OF POPLAR HILL...

I'M TOTALLY SPINNING.

TODD, I'M SPINNING, I'M SPINNING. TODD: OH [BLEEP].

NARRATOR: LISA KELLY'S FACING AN UPHILL BATTLE...

UH, I'M STILL MOVING,

BUT I THINK I'M DIGGING HOLES ON IT.

NARRATOR: HER TRUCK'S OPERATING AT LIMITED POWER

MAKING HER UNABLE TO CLIMB THE STEEP INCLINE

OF SUICIDE HILL.

LISA: OH MY GOSH.

[BLEEP] THIS THING DOESN'T HAVE ANY POWER.

NARRATOR: NOW SHE'S STRANDED, JUST SHORT OF THE TOP.

LISA'S HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF ISSUES ON THE HILL.

SHE'S POWERED OUT, SHE'S GETTING STUCK.

TODD: OH YEAH.

NARRATOR: BUT TODD MAY HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION...

SEE IF IT'S GOT THE KEY IN IT AND IF IT'LL FIRE UP.

NARRATOR: A GRADER LEFT BEHIND BY A ROAD MAINTENANCE CREW.

HELL YEAH.

GOD I HOPE THIS SON OF A BITCH A CAT RUNS.

NARRATOR: TODD'S PLAN, TRY TO USE THE CAT

TO TOW LISA THE LAST QUARTER MILE OVER THE HILL.

SEE IF SHE'S GONNA FIRE.

[IGNITION TIRES TO TURN]

COME ON, GIRL.

[IGNITION TURNS]

WE GOT POWER, BOYS! WOO!

[ENGINE RUMBLES]

[LAUGHS]

GOTTA GET THE TOW ROPE OUT.

TODD: HOOK THE CHAIN RIGHT TO YOUR BUMPER. GOT IT?

LISA: YEAH.

TODD: ONCE I GET IT TIGHT, JUST GET YOUR LOW GEAR.

LISA: LOW? TODD: LET YOUR CLUTCH OUT, LET IT IDLE,

AND I'LL DO THE REST.

LISA: OKAY. COOL, THANKS.

NARRATOR: WITH LISA'S RIG HOOKED UP,

NOW THE GRADER MUST BE POWERFUL ENOUGH

TO PULL THE 13 TONNE RIG.

HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING ME GOING HERE.

IT'S IN LOW AND I'M GIVING AS MUCH POWER AS I CAN GET.

[RUMBLING]

[ENGINE HUMS]

WE'RE GETTING UP THIS HILL ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

TODD: WOO!

[WHISTLES] MADE IT!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT, LIS!

LISA: ALL RIGHT! TODD: NICE JOB, GIRL!

LISA: THANK YOU SO MUCH! TODD: WOO!

NARRATOR: ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BIGGEST HILL ON THE TRAIL...

WE'RE READY TO ROCK 'N ROLL!

LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

THAT WAS AWESOME, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, I'M JUST STOKED THAT THAT THING FIRED UP.

NARRATOR: LISA AND TODD HEAD FOR HOME.

LISA: MY POWER IS FIFTY PERCENT,

BUT I MADE IT AND WE'RE ON OUR WAY.

NARRATOR: 150 MILES TO THE SOUTHEAST...

OH YEAH, HERE WE ARE NOW,

WE'RE KICKIN' ASS OUT OF CAT LAKE.

IT'S PITCH DARK OUT.

NARRATOR: TEAM-MATE ART BURKE'S TRYING TO GET BACK ON THE BOSS' GOOD SIDE

WITH A TROUBLE FREE TRIP.

THEY TELL ME THIS WAS THE WORST ROAD IN ONTARIO.

IT'S A LITTLE ROUGH, AS YOU CAN TELL, RIGHT.

NARRATOR: BUT THE BATTERED ROAD ISN'T MAKING THINGS EASY.

I'LL BE [BLEEP] GLAD WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE,

IF I DON'T SLIP OFF ONE OF THEM DAMN BRIDGES.

NARRATOR: NOW, A SERIES OF NARROW BRIDGES

WILL PUT HIM AND HIS EIGHT AND A HALF FOOT WIDE TRAILER

TO THE TEST.

[ENGINE HUMS]

THESE [BLEEP] BRIDGES ARE KIND OF A LITTLE OVER THE TOP.

SOME OF THEM ARE VERY, VERY SKINNY,

AND THEY'RE ROTTEN AS A BASTARD.

[LOUD THUD]

YOU'VE GOT TO LINE THEM UP REALLY, REALLY STRAIGHT.

HANG ON HERE, FOR A SECOND,

WE'RE GONNA GO DOWN THIS HERE AND UPSET THE TRUCK.

HOLY [BLEEP].

WHOA.

[LOUD CRUNCH] HOLY [BLEEP] MAN, THIS IS HIGH.

NOW THAT TYPE OF THING THERE, IF YOU [BLEEP] UP ON THAT,

I'LL GUARANTEE YOU, YOU'LL TURN UPSIDE DOWN

IN THAT [BLEEP] SWAMP.

[CHAINS CLINK]

♪♪♪

HAS NO RAILS OR NOTHING ON IT.

YOU GOT ABOUT THAT MUCH SPACE ON EACH SIDE

OF THE [BLEEP] WHEELS.

IF I [BLEEP] UP THE INSIDE, WE'LL KEEP 'ER ON, EH?

[TRUCK CREAKS AND WHINES]

WHOA.

[WHEELS CRUNCH]

WELL, WE MADE 'ER IN ONE PIECE.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

CHAINS HELD TOGETHER,

WE NEVER WENT OFF THEM SKINNY BRIDGES

OR THROUGH THE [BLEEP] THINGS.

NARRATOR: WITH THE BRIDGES BEHIND HIM,

ART'S QUEST FOR THE PERFECT TRIP COULD BE WITHIN REACH.

ART: ALL RIGHT, BOY, WE'RE OUTTA HERE.

AWAY WE GO AGAIN!

NARRATOR: ON THE ROCKY ROAD TO OXFORD HOUSE...

ALEX: I'LL BE IN OXFORD HOUSE IN 13 KILOMETRES.

[HONKS]

NARRATOR: ALEX DEBOGORSKI'S TRYING TO SCORE THE FIRST HAUL

FOR VP'S BIG NEW CONTRACT.

ALEX: I KIND OF LIKE TO GET THESE TANKS THERE AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE

SO WE CAN GO GET SOME MORE.

NARRATOR: SWIPED FROM POLAR,

THE DEAL COULD BE A GAME CHANGER FOR VP.

WELL, I'M HOPING I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY DISASTERS.

NARRATOR: BUT HE HAS TO MAKE IT OVER THE RAGGED LAST SEVEN MILES.

ALEX: TRYING NOT TO GET CAUGHT BY SURPRISE

IN ONE OF THESE CORNERS.

[TRUCK HONKS]

ALEX: HE WAS GOING LIKE HECK.

I THINK SOME OF THESE CORNERS HAVE BEEN SHINED UP A LITTLE BIT.

[TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLES]

♪♪♪

NARRATOR: FINALLY...

ALEX: I'M HOPING THAT THE PEOPLE I BROUGHT THEM FOR

WILL COME AND UNLOAD ME AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.

NARRATOR: ALEX ARRIVES AT THE DESTINATION.

[GRUNTS]

MAN 1: WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU PUT THAT LOG RIGHT THERE?

WILL IT FIT RIGHT THERE? MAN 2: YEAH.

OH!

[CRASHING]

ALEX: GONNA BE A HAYWIRE PERFORMANCE.

[CRASHING]

ALEX: THERE'S NOTHING LIKE GRAVITY TO DO THE JOB.

[CRASHING]

ALEX: I MEAN I WANTED 'EM UNLOADED, THEY'RE UNLOADED,

AND WE DON'T HURT THOSE TANKS.

THOSE TANKS BETTER BE ABLE TO TAKE THAT,

THEY'RE GOING TO BE BURIED UNDER SIX FEET OF FILL.

I'M RUNNING BEHIND AN HOUR.

NARRATOR: AS THE OLD PRO HEADS BACK TO WINNIPEG,

FOR VP IT'S ONE LOAD DOWN AND 149 TO GO.

320 MILES TO THE SOUTHEAST...

ART: WINNIPEG, HERE WE COME.

NARRATOR: ART BURKE'S IN THE HOME STRETCH OF HIS RUN BACK FROM CAT LAKE.

COMING BACK IN THE DARK LAST NIGHT WAS KIND OF TRICKY.

NARRATOR: AND SO FAR, SO GOOD FOR THE POLAR DRIVER.

ART: THE BRIDGES WAS REALLY SKINNY, REALLY SKINNY.

I HAD TO GET 'ER LINED UP REALLY GOOD.

I WENT ACROSS THEM NICE AND SLOW, AND HERE WE ARE.

NARRATOR: BUT AS ART MAKES HIS FINAL FUEL STOP OUTSIDE OF WINNIPEG...

[BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

THERE'S [BLEEP] ALL GOING ON BOYS, WHAT'S [BLEEP] GOING ON.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOME [BLEEP] THING GOING ON, AIN'T THERE?

I LOST A [BLEEP] CHAIN IS WHAT'S GOING ON.

NOW HOW IN THE [BLEEP] AM I GONNA EXPLAIN THAT?

MARK: WE PUT BRAND NEW CHAINS ON FOR YOU,

SO YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY ISSUES.

DON'T WRECK MY NEW CHAINS.

MAKING TIME FOR STUPID, [BLEEP] QUESTIONS.

[DOOR SLAMS]

NARRATOR: DESPITE HIS BEST EFFORTS,

ART MAY BE ON THE ROPES YET AGAIN.

[BLEEP] NEAR HOME LAST TRIP,

BUSTED AT THE [BLEEP] SCALES, EH?

THIS TRIP, [BLEEP] NEAR HOME,

COME TO REALIZE CHAIN'S GONE.

AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO GOOD, MAN.

COULDN'T LOSE ONE OF THE OLD CHAINS,

I HAD TO LOSE THE NEW ONE.

[BLEEP] THAT'S ALL I GOTTA [BLEEP] SAY ABOUT THIS.

BESIDES THAT, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT [BLEEP] TRIP.

NARRATOR: BACK AT THE POLAR SHOP,

ART'S DAYS MAY BE NUMBERED.

JUST NEVER YOU MIND WHAT I'M UP TO.

SEE WHAT YOU'RE UP THE [BLEEP] TO.

NARRATOR: BUT WITH THE BOSS GONE...

[CHAINS CLINK]

HE FINDS A CREATIVE WAY TO COVER HIS TRACKS.

[DOG WHINES]

YOU GOTTA KEEP PUNCHING THROUGH, BOY.

NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU,

YOU JUST GOT TO KEEP COMING,

AND LET HER [BLEEP] ROLL OFF, BOY.

[BLEEP] IT.

I'LL TELL THEM ABOUT THIS IN DUE TIME, EH?

I'LL WORK THIS IN DURING A CONVERSATION.

BUT NOT TONIGHT.

♪♪♪

NARRATOR: IN THE MANITOBA WILDERNESS...

SEND ME WHERE NO MAN DARES TO GO.

I'M UP FOR THE ADVENTURE.

NARRATOR: DARRELL WARD'S PUSHING HIS GENERATOR

THE FINAL 15 MILES TO WASAGAMACK.

FINGERS CROSSED I DON'T HAVE FAR TO GO.

ROAD'S BEEN SLICK.

NARRATOR: BUT HAULING THE OVERSIZE LOAD OVER THE NARROW TRAIL

IS PROVING A CHALLENGE FOR THE RENEGADE TRUCKER.

DARRELL: WIDER THAN NORMAL, SO HOPE FOR THE BEST.

IT'S SLICK!

♪♪♪

THIS IS GONNA BE ROUGH.

GO GET YOURSELF A JOB DRIVING A CAB IN THE CITY

IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT OUT HERE.

[TRUCK ENGINE ROARS]

WELL, I'M HERE AT WASAGAMACK.

NARRATOR: AS DARRELL HEADS TO THE DROP-OFF POINT,

THE DELIVERY MARKS ANOTHER NOTCH IN THE BELT

FOR THE MONTANA LEGEND.

DARRELL: WANNA GET OFF-LOADED AND GET TURNED AROUND

AND HEADED THE OTHER DIRECTION.

NARRATOR: AND THERE'S A NEW PLAYER EMERGING

IN THE BATTLE ON THE WINTER ROADS.

[BEEPING, WHIRRING]

EVERY ONE OF THESE LOADS IS UP FOR GRABS.

THE FASTER I CAN MOVE THEM, THE MORE I CAN MOVE.

IT'S LIKE THE DASH FOR THE CASH.

NEXT STOP, WINNIPEG.

DON'T STAND IN MY WAY BECAUSE YOU WILL GET KNOCKED DOWN.

NARRATOR: INTO THE NIGHT...

LISA: OH, MADE IT.

NARRATOR: LISA KELLY AND HER BUSTED RIG FINALLY ARRIVE IN WINNIPEG.

LISA: LIMPED THE TRUCK ALL THE WAY BACK TO POLAR.

I'M DROPPING MY TRAILER, TRUCK'S GOING TO THE SHOP.

NARRATOR: HER LONG TRIP HAS COME TO AN END,

NOW HER TRUCK WILL GET MUCH NEEDED REPAIRS.

I'M TIRED. IT'S BEEN ONE HECK OF A TRIP,

IT'S BEEN ACTION PACKED, BACK TO BACK.

MY TRUCK NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AT.

I NEED A HEADLIGHT AND A FILTER,

AND A [BLEEP] ENGINE.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I'M GONNA GO SIT ON MY HANDS UNTIL THE TRUCK'S DONE,

AND THEN COME IN AND GET A LOAD.

SO, GOOD NIGHT.

NARRATOR: LATER THAT NIGHT...

[LAUGHTER]

WASN'T EVEN GONNA STAY ON THE ROAD HALF THE TIME.

I TURNED THE WHEEL, IT JUST KEEPS GOING...

TODD: THE WINTER ROADS THIS YEAR HAVE BEEN PHENOMICAL

COMPARED TO LAST YEAR. LISA: PHENOMICAL?

TODD: YOU NEVER HEARD THAT WORD?

[LAUGHING]

NARRATOR: THE POLAR CREW MEETS UP TO TALK SHOP.

LISA: YOU GUYS ARE WEARING THESE ADORABLE MATCHING POLAR OUTFITS.

YEAH, I'LL GET THE FISH.

LISA: MATCHING HOODIES. IT'S SO CUTE.

OH, WE'VE BEEN SWEETHEARTS SINCE LAST YEAR.

OH YEAH, BECAUSE YOU WERE BOTH FROM VP.

TODD: YEAH. LISA: I'VE NEVER WORKED AT VP.

JESUS, YOU'RE LUCKY.

ART: I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT THAT'S THE WORST JOB

I EVER HAD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

WELL, THEY TREATED YOU LIKE [BLEEP], ART.

I NEVER WORKED WITH [BLEEP] LIKE THAT BEFORE

IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

IS THAT WHY YOU MADE THE SWITCH OVER TO POLAR THIS YEAR?

TODD: YEAH, YOU KNOW WHEN I GOT HERE I WAS LIKE,

I'M GONNA GO TALK TO MARK.

HE WAS JUST SO HAPPY TO GET, TO STEAL ME FROM HUGH,

HE'S LIKE I'LL PAY YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT

JUST TO TAKE YOU FROM HUGH.

I SAID, THEN YOU JUST GOT YOURSELF A NEW DRIVER.

I JUST WANTED TO HEAR HIM SAY IT

BECAUSE HE WAS BADMOUTHING ME ALL YEAR

ABOUT HOW I COULDN'T DRIVE,

AND I JUST WANTED HIM TO BEG ME FOR A JOB

SO I COULD TELL HIM NO.

WELL, THAT GOES TO SHOW YOU THAT THE TWO-FACED PART, EH?

THAT'S WHAT HE IS, BIG TIME.

HIM AND VLAD ARE VERY TWO-FACED.

LISA: SEE THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT POLAR

IS WE'RE MORE LIKE A TEAM, I FEEL LIKE.

OH WAY, WAY DIFFERENT.

ART: IT'S A WHOLE WAY BETTER. TODD: TOTALLY DIFFERENT ATMOSPHERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S A BUMMER THOUGH, IS DARRELL LEAVING.

OH, WELL, I KNOW THAT DARRELL HAS BEEN REALLY PISSED

ABOUT THE WHOLE TRUCK'S BEING BROKE DOWN

AND HIS TRUCK HASN'T BEEN WORKING,

HE HASN'T BEEN MAKING ANY MONEY.

WE'RE HERE TO MAKE MONEY NOT BE SITTING ON OUR ASS

BECAUSE OUR TRUCKS DON'T WORK.

LISA: I'M SO SAD THAT HE QUIT.

ME AND DARRELL ARE FRIENDS, LIKE MY FIRST LIKE REAL FRIEND.

I LOVE RUNNING WITH DARRELL.

I LEARNED THROUGH THE YEARS THAT SOMETIMES THE GRASS IS NOT ALWAYS GREENER.

BINGO.

SOMETIMES WHEN YOU GET ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE

YOU CAN'T COME BACK.

YEAH.

SO WE'LL SEE, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

AND WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

NARRATOR: NEXT TIME...

ON "ICE ROAD TRUCKERS..."

DARRELL: THIS IS GONNA BE ROUGH.

NARRATOR: THE ROADS GO FROM BAD...

TODD: WE'RE NOT TRUCKING ANYMORE, WE'RE MOTO-CROSSING.

NARRATOR: ...TO WORSE.

ART: TIRES ARE LIKE [BLEEP] SKIS OUT THERE.

NARRATOR: AS THE SEASON...

WHO LIKE TO GO THIS FAST ON ICE? FRICKIN' NOBODY.

A LITTLE UGLIER THERE.

NARRATOR: GOES SLIP SLIDING AWAY.

[CRASH]