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Previously on The Handmaid's Tale...
Do you have any idea what you did? You fucking bitch!
-You're being so mean. -She got someone executed.
She doesn't feel sorry about it.
She should have kept her fucking mouth shut.
You will never be free of me until both of my children are safe.
-That is my constant prayer for Nichole. -You will not let her go!
-Because I love her! -This isn't love. You can't love!
You don't know how!
-Ofmatthew doesn't want her baby. -Well, it was just a second.
-That's a sin. -Sinner. Sinner. Sinner. Sinner.
And to refuse God's blessings of a child is among the gravest of sins.
Sinner. Sinner. Sinner.
Natalie!
Oh, no! Oh, no!
No! No!
Do you hear it? I didn't at first.
Not for a few weeks.
Don't you hear it?
Right?
Don't you hear it? You will.
You'll hear it. You'll hear it.
They don't give Ofmatthew anything that might hurt the baby.
There's no future for her in any case.
"There's too much bleeding," they say. "Her brain is gone," they say.
Ofmatthew is just a vessel now, and the baby is all that matters.
I suppose it's all that ever mattered.
The doctors and nurses and orderlies and technicians come and go.
I stay.
Thirty-two days so far.
I will be here until there's a baby.
"This is your walking partner," Aunt Lydia said.
"Where else would you be?"
The wives come to pray with Mrs. Calhoun.
"Please, God, protect this child. Bring forth your miracle.
We've been so faithful and good.
'Heaven is a place on Earth,' dear God."
They smell of powder and soap. They smell like the ceremony.
Like Serena Joy, when she held me down.
It's hard not to fucking gag.
When Aunt Lydia brings everyone to pray, it smells like sweat.
Like onions and oranges and fish from the grocery store.
It smells like tape and pus
from Janine's wounds, still healing after what Ofmatthew did to her.
I will be here until there's a baby...
However long that takes.
This room has a smell, citrus and ammonia.
It would have been in spray bottles before, at the grocery store.
Or Bed Bath and Beyond. And then mostly from Amazon.
When there were all those things. Before the Internet raids.
Before the decency codes and all the hangings.
She has a smell too. A kind of sweet decay, like wet leaves.
Like a dirty scalp. Like her shit.
Soft, unformed, blameless.
She smells like a baby.
They're not real, you know.
They're not.
Maybe I'm crazy and this is some new kind of therapy.
I wish that were true, then I could get better.
And this would go away. I could leave this room.
This would all end.
This has to end.
Dear God, please watch over this child.
Hey, pray, stupid.
Let Him hear your devotion, girls.
Your heavenly powers overcome sickness and infirmity.
Dear God, please watch over this child.
You gather your lambs in arms and carry them in your bosom.
Dear God, please watch over this child.
Ofhoward, put yourself together, please. Hair out of your face.
Nothing is uglier than vanity, Ofhoward.
That's better, dear.
Look upon us with eyes of mercy, O Lord.
It's okay, it's not so bad.
-May this child grow in the grace... -It's gross.
-and knowledge of Our Heavenly Father. -It's not fair.
To Him be the glory---
All right, girls, let's give them room to do their work.
Come on.
Excuse me, ladies. What challenges has the Lord given us this morning?
Her pressure's creeping up again. 145 over 110.
Push 200 milligrams of Labetalol and draw for labs.
White count first. Now, how's our patient?
-Fetal heart rate is stable. -Oh, praise be. Let's keep it that way.
-What's happening? -She's having seizures.
If you're lucky, you may get to see her shit herself.
You are a heartless, heartless girl, Ofjoseph.
He who is most merciful, please hear our prayers and save this child.
Please, God, let them die. Please, God, let them die.
Please, God...
let them die.
Lovely. Lovely. Okay. Clean that up, please.
Excuse me, Doctor, may I ask what you're doing?
A saphenous cutdown.
I am placing a small tube into the femoral vein.
Basically, it's a fancy name to get in more fluids.
Should help control the seizures, and our little miracle
-needs plenty of fluids. -Ah, of course.
Tie and anchor that suture closed, please. Don't worry about the scar.
-Glory be with you. -Ah, go in grace.
The miracles God allows these doctors to perform.
It's simply awe-inspiring.
Well, under His eye, dear.
Hold on a minute.
Pardon?
I'm sorry. Aunt Lydia...
May I go home, please?
No. You may not. Ridiculous!
Please.
You may go home when your walking partner goes home.
You certainly owe her that consideration after the way you have treated her.
I know. I know I was shitty.
Ofjoseph.
-All you girls, just awful. -I know. I know. I...
I don't feel well.
Ofjoseph, I believe in you.
God never gives us more than we can handle.
-Are you sure? -Pray without ceasing.
That's all we can do.
Yes, Aunt Lydia.
You don't fool me.
I know you're gone already.
Hi.
Hi.
-What are you doing here? -Got infected.
-They have to do another procedure. -Oh.
I haven't been praying for her.
Not really.
Okay.
She had that seizure.
Do you think that was your fault?
Obviously.
Do you think she can hear me?
I don't know.
Hi, Natalie. It's Janine.
I just want you to know that I forgive you.
And I want you to get better.
She can't get better.
I can wish for it anyway.
I want you to find peace.
Is that better?
Janine.
I know how we can help her.
-No. -Janine, it's the right thing to do.
Listen to me.
-We have to end it. -So you're going to kill her?
And the baby?
What did they ever do to you?
Janine, we have to. We have to do something.
Don't do that.
She's one of us.
Okay.
Okay?
Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
Give that to me.
When did you get to be so selfish?
Everything is always about you now. Your problems.
Get the fuck out of here.
You're different.
I don't like it.
The lungs aren't fully formed yet, and won't be for a few weeks,
but we can take care of it in the NICU, if need be.
They're not gonna come in here, are they?
-Those sicks girls? -They're not sick.
They're here for their menarche exam.
They've flowered? How lovely.
That will be Hannah soon. Too soon.
It'll be a few years before they're ready to have babies of their own.
He doesn't mean emotionally ready.
He means they track their pelvic development.
She's got prominent veins. Easy to slice, I'd think.
His aren't bad either.
Harder to see.
If I only get one kill, I should start at the top.
Make it count.
Eenie,
meenie... minie,
moe.
I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner.
Oh, that's all right. Thank you for coming.
-Of course. I've been praying for you. -And I for you.
Our precious babies.
Commander, we can discuss the rest of the lab tests in my office.
Mrs. Waterford, may I speak to you for a moment?
You don't want to bother with that.
I'll catch up with you downstairs.
-Yes, Ofjoseph? -Come closer. It's a secret.
What?
You're not well.
No.
June?
You're out of your mind.
This has to end. This has to end.
You were supposed to be one of the strong ones.
There's something wrong. She cut herself.
Mrs. Waterford said you cut yourself. Let me see.
It's all right.
Ouch. You need stitches.
Come.
Sit.
It's a clean slice. Just a few more.
You doing okay?
You shouldn't bother trying to fix me if you're just going to report me.
You're right. I shouldn't.
-Thank you. -I took an oath.
-First do no harm. -Am I harming you?
You're torturing her.
-She's not my patient, the child is. -That's bullshit.
-Sir. -Hold still.
My mother was a doctor.
She treated pregnant women.
And she always put her patients, the women, first.
Things were different when she practiced medicine.
-Did she get out? -No.
I'm sure you miss her.
-Where did she practice? -Somerville. For the most part.
Holly Maddox.
Well, now I know why you took a swipe at Mrs. Waterford.
Dr. Maddox. Dr. Maddox, she was scary.
Yeah. She is.
Was.
I don't actually know.
You should know I was going to kill Serena.
And her.
And you, too.
I warned them.
I said, "You can't leave that girl in here, praying for months on end."
The brain atrophies in isolation and breeds despair.
How long have you had suicidal thoughts?
Homicidal.
Doing any of the things that you said would put you on the wall,
and you know it.
So, how long?
I don't know.
Since I realized I probably won't see my daughters again.
-You feel hopeless? -How should I feel?
Doctor, she's someone's child, too.
I honor the Handmaid's life by saving her child.
How will you honor your daughters?
Try not to get that wet.
Under His eye.
Okay. Take that.
Here we go, gentlemen.
Oh. Yeah. Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
-Praise be. -Take him.
She's not gonna last much longer. Stitch her up.
-You could use the practice. -Yes, sir.
-Can I carry that for you? -Sure. Thank you.
-Did you just have a baby? -No.
-I was visiting a friend. -Oh.
-Is she really sick? -Yeah.
Well, the Lord will heal her. You just have to pray hard enough.
Praise be.
I'm here because they said I can have babies.
Later, not right now.
After I get married.
Is that what you want?
Of course. So much.
Rose.
Ofjoseph, come along.
She's still alive.
Not for much longer, as I understand.
God will call her home soon enough.
-It's been quite an ordeal. -Aunt Lydia.
I need to stay with her.
If I may.
Oh... That would be very kind of you.
Go in grace, Ofjoseph.
I'll try.
-Blessed be the fruit, dear. -May the Lord open.
The doctor said the procedure went well.
Yeah, he said... I mean, all thanks to God.
May his healing light shine upon you.
I brought you something.
Nothing wrong with wanting to look your best.
Let me help you.
Here. Take this off. Okay. Gently.
-I look like a pirate. -Indeed.
A space pirate.
It's okay. It's all right.
I'm here.
I'll be right here.
I'm sorry I was such a shit to you.
I got lost, I think.
Not that that's a good excuse, but...
I don't really have another reason.
They just take everything from you, you know.
They really do.
Oh, your son,
he's beautiful.
Oh, he's...
He is beautiful.
And everyone is praying for him, but I wouldn't worry, seriously.
Because I think he's just like you.
He's a fighter.
And he doesn't deserve to grow up in this place.
He deserves to be free.
They all deserve to be free.
So, Natalie...
I'm gonna get them out.
I'm gonna get out as many children as I can.
I don't really know how yet, but...
I swear to you,
I'm gonna get them out.
Because Gilead should know how this feels.
It's their turn to hurt.
All right.
It's okay.
It's all right.
Do you remember that song?
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