Original subtitles

you have a reservation?

how are your drops taken ?

sorry

They said they didn't do reservations

Close the door We're full

They said that we could come

15 drops of the bottle by mouth

Paolo, Close the door

-Who said that? -Herr Michele.

No one of that name here

Oscar , I heard you had money trouble

We're full...

If I screw up forget it.

Well, that told me

And I knew first

Herbal tea? Give me a prescription

I have here... Liar .

I'm going to the hospital.

What about next week ?

A table for 4.

Sorry. We do not make reservations .

Excuse me

I chose underwear and shirts.

Hand ironed, no starch.

I've got allergies again.

Have I got any mail ?

good customers don't matter?

Who wants good customers when I have good friends ?

Join us .

Really?

He doesn't get along with his wife.

I thought he was divorced .

The third yes, but not the fourth .

Shove it !

What language - so common!

It's the crudest I've ever heard

You know Oscar .

His little scenes in public.

No shame.

�Serafina! What are you doing? Move .

Do you need to wash while I'm eating ?

I've been working all day.

I think I have to wear deodorant.

So, I'll eat alone again ? I like it here.

We eat back here.

-I don't. They've put starch in..

You can stay here .

I don't want to eat in this place. I want to see people .

With this horrible,loud ....

Why don't you stay home ?

Neurotic misery guts !

If you hate them , Why do you come ?

How's the hermit ?

If you want to negotiate, you better move.

-I will. -He won't talk to me .

-You know Jacob. -He's not the only one with feelings.

Tell him it's time to face reality .

I'm sick of it

Alright, Paolo? More wine

There's too much noise.

It's the tiles . There ought to be carpet.

They're noisy and slippery , especially in heels .

-Yes , Valerie . -And in this lighting

It's dangerous This light is sexist.

I'm surprised women come here .

They don't have to

Women come here to be seen .

And in the butchers What light do they have?

Who will look after the house?

It will be well cared for by Jean -Luc , the gardener.

See this.

I see no gardener.

His reflection is on the door of the terrace.

Fanny was the best of your women . Who's new ?

No . -come Off it!

-You can't be alone. Yes I can .

Come on . We're all alone .

If neither of us do a better deal in half an hour ,

then ...

Go with Sigi . It's free.

No, it's not .

You have to operate early.

I think about it. Breasts . Something ..

larger than apples ...

but smaller than melons.

-What do we do? -It's very simple.

Three in a bed. But she's with me.

You go , she stays with me.

Good night.

Buy another bottle. I'll drink it with her.

Tell us - who's your prince?

Ask your artist

Who do you want ?. Him or me?

Tell me, queen of the night.

Your head is crowned.

Your touch brings death to what you love .

You just want to surrender to lust.

And enjoy blushing .

Freddy ! The violin!

Oscar not again.

Please , enough .

I love Oscar's touch.

Do you think you're the only artist here , Bodo?

I'll tuck you in, and sing you a lullaby.

Throw them out .

What me?..You're the boss .

I 'm going to bed - otherwise I'll strangle them

We're closed , guys. For what it's worth .

Leave me alone. I can't.

Yes , you can. But don't want to..

Turn around.

No, let go . You're a pain. Go home!

No, I won't give up you haven't had an orgasm.

No, I have a headache. It's already hurting.

Give me your cock. I'll make it hard .

You really don't want to...

watch a porno ?

Do you make love often ?

About seven times a week .

With the most beautiful women .

And then what ?

The next day , she's in your bed with the face of a lamb.

Have you ever loved anyone ?

Love ? A woman?

I love my dog. And my car.

My son , my brother...

my mother, my sister, but not a woman.

Women are not human

Listen , Miss Matussek .

Zillie Watussnik, Plaza de Par�s 12, tel�fono...

Our lady is sitting on a wet rock .

She is watching the Rhine , combing her long golden hair.

Long? Golden?

I can also dance.

Modern, classical ... all.

And I recite .

thanks.

Next!

Shakespeare?

Next , please.

Who gives you the best...

the most intense climax.

Oscar or Bodo?

And what has that to do with constipation ?

A lot. Sex is good for digestion.

No problems in that area ...?

Maybe you do not love it enough .?.

Don't worry, Sigi . I always get what I want.

I would like to know if Oscar or Bodo

want to marry you.

to stay during ...

the bad and the good ...

and grow old together

Until you're in a wheelchair

and need feeding .

I am 40 not 80.

To caress your gray hair.

Each wrinkle

Every centimeter of your withered skin ...

with infinite tenderness ..

Restrain your geriatric fantasies !.

You give me the shits

Your lust is infinite.

The gods scourge ...

and demons bleed .

You're a bigger pain ...

than anyone.

Shit !

The pain exceeds..

The torment?

Yes, the torment .

You are the torment ..

You are the torment every man ..

has suffered

That's it..

About time , stupid ..

Bodo. let me have your key, all the beds are needed tonight...

Are you kidding ?

It's your room and always will be.

Today is Friday. It's time to collect.

Hey you, I am not a burden on anyone .

Imb�cile ! You 're kicking my poet out.

Just tonight. Until sunrise.

No way, guys Not me

I'm leaving. No one is wanking on my typewriter

Candles everywhere ...?

just because she's 40 again?

Arrogant pig !

Oscar just wants candles.

No electric light

That's what you want.

Well buy him his own restaurant.

But not mine

Oscar wants to see Valerie

in a magical and romantic atmosphere.

Dinner by candlelight .

Freddy , I 'm the boss. I make the decisions .

-what are they doing? -Laying carpets

Who ordered carpets? I don't want carpet.

But Oscar said...

I'm in charge

No carpets!

So the carpet ... out!

Paolo , please. just one.

A small one?

They'll get it up the ass .

You'll never find a Lorelei in Germany .

-We have women as well. -Yes we have them .

No, we don't. Look at them .

These are the worst.

Boring , blank, vulgar and nothing erotic .

I'm not blind .

Tell these dumbos what we're after

They are professional actresses .

No one could tell. Nobody .

Actresses ? Have your brains melted?

Lorelei is not a role any girl can do.

She is a mythical, tragic character .

No, she's romantic and funny.

Well, who cares? She's the eternal symbol of ...

and intoxicating.

No, Oscar,

man's eternal surrender to his fate.

Quite the opposite. it's not lust but

it is desire

physical , mental and sexual .

Tragically, Faustian , German .

No, Oscar , but who cares ?

I don't want a clown in a red wig.

But a blonde young woman.

The virgin whore.

Angel and devil, goddess and tart

virginal yet depraved

You said it , my friend.

come here , you bastard .

It makes sense

The woman of our dreams.

Paolo..

Can we get a couple of tables on the terrace ?

Why am I constipated?

Please , Paolo , It's 32 degrees in here

But it wasn't .

It's going to rain . a storm is brewing

Looking for something?

What are you looking at? Excuse me .

I was passing by and I stopped to look .

I do it often

I didn't mean ... 'What ?

To get so close.

It's this lighting...

so intimate, if you do not belong ...

in this world.

" Some are in the shade ,

and others in the light.

We're in the light,

and not in the shadow

Are you an actress?

But today, with candles , It's all so warm ...

so magical ...

I am testing a warmer light

but not too intense

It is very comfortable .

A great idea

It is inviting

You are a beautiful woman with exquisite taste .

Where the rich and famous , reserve tables here .

On the terrace in summer ...

on a warm night like today.

Tonight we are full but for you - Fraulein..

I will find a cozy corner .

I can't afford to dine here

I am a poor girl.

Would you be my guest , Fraulein...?

Snow White. Excuse me?

As in the story... I work in a children's theater

As an actress I imagine .

I 'm a big fan of the dramatic arts.

Many of my clients are directors, actors and producers.

'Really ? Yes , they are all my friends.

Truly?

Very good friends.

Tonight ...

it would be a pleasure to present them to you .

It would be good for your career ..

My career?

Can I be honest with you ...

without you being angry with me ?

Please Fraulein

But you're not interested .

I will come after 10.

Come on, guys!

To the terrace

Bring the tables and candles !

Michele , move! But it's raining

It's a beautiful summer night and everyone will want to dine outside.

Tranquilizers? No, doctor. Quite the opposite.

For women - later.

For men - before .

Yes, 'Sera' as in 'Buona Sera' and Phina

with "Ph" as Philadelphia,

or "F" in Faust

There's no " Ph " in Italian, only "F".

Everything is " Ph" : Philosopher , philanthropist ,

physical ...

or "F" like 'fixing' a contract .

You never know with people names.

Maybe her parents were Greek .

Nonsense ! It's Italian .

So use "Ph" . Who cares ?

Tell our linguist to sign the contract.

The name comes from the Hebrew

Or maybe possibly ,

the Aramaic refers to ...

Seraph, plural: Seraphim.

It's an angel with six wings ...

who guards the burning embers of love.

Very good, Jacob. The embers of love!

Magn�ficent!

And her smile . That angelic smile .

If I respond to her smile in my language ...

she won't understand a thing .

And I don't speak her language.

I've no chance really

Jacob , don't exaggerate . It'll be fine .

First things first : sign the contract.

Oscar will write you a cheque for a million .

We will make a great movie.

I don't want to do a film of my book.

What?

I said 'No film of my book'.

But my wife said...

I never

You said..

I never

All I said was..

Fanny , don't tell me the details on your personal life .

I don't want to know anything

I don't care

well of course...

You have a big secret

If you're not making a movie , you'll make it hard .

But when it works - we're always good together

It's great.

Your " Lorelei " is a beautiful movie .

It's not a movie, it's a book .

Do you want to spoil our marriage ?

Isn't our marriage wonderful?

Do you want to ruin our great love ?

Of course not.

Please Fanny . Not here.

I'm eating.

Jacob, don't get up,

It's horrible ! But what if he comes ...

lmpossible.

He's taken his pills. He takes them for everything.

He's in bed like a squashed fly

Jacob, you're my friend, yes or no?

What did you tell her ?

I said, well ....

if it's vital for our marriage ..

You fucked her ! When I was ill.

What? your wife? Fuck her ?

You fucked her, you bastard ! And you are my friend ?.

You stabbed me in the back me, your best friend .

You'll never see me again.

Never !

Stop! Wait!

Why ? What's happened ?

Well , he doesn't like certain things.

What things ? certain things.

Grammatical errors. Complicated syntax.

Have you gone mad ?.

You know what Jacob's like.

complicated syntax ..?.

he'll spoil everything .

Make new contract . He'll sign it in the Rossini.

Did you take the cheque?

Also he's broke

I was furious. Edwin, what's wrong ?

Why did you use a difficult syntax

In Jacob Windisch's contract?

Damn stupid ignoramus.

Legal language ,you asshole !

Be at the Rossini in an hour

And bring a perfect contract

You illiterate !

Forgive me .

Hi, Paolo How are you?

Better than ever

Excuse me a moment.

Zillie?

How did it go? Did you get... ?

Oh , poor thing. Come here.

Let me hold you .

Where have you been?

Damn disgusting whore !

Leave me alone! You 're drunk . You are hurting me.

It's your fault

You insensitive, cold beast.

Enough! You're tearing my hair.

Your long, golden hair.

Sorry . Is this the children's theater ?

I won't let you use me . Damn lesbian.

Hurry . They've started

You've been humiliating me for years.

Treating me like a dyke , a sex object

You're no Sleeping Beauty

But I've got. .

Fuck you! I'm leaving. Going where ?

I can take care of myself.

How, walking the streets?

At least I have luck. Not like you.

I don't need it . I have a job .

I can sing , I can dance ...

You're so stupid. Did you think you'd get the role ?

They don't give roles to dykes

Specially not to...

a rat with red hair.

With bitten nails ...

with chicken legs , and nose like a potato .

You stink the place up

Who would pay to see ..?

Snow White.

the fairest of them all .

I'm not as beautiful as you .

But I'm a great actress. The best.

I can do any role. Any one.

But not Lorelei .

The candles are beautiful. Is it always like this?

Where is he?

If I have an appointment, I try to be on time.

And if it's really important I arrive 15 minutes before .

We really have an appointment with Doctor Melk

He must be here

He comes here every night.

What? No appointment? Is it a trap?

This illumination , Is it down to you ?

You old fox.

Ready to fight for the lady?

Diamonds, how original . Like a lord .

So what?

A beautiful woman in a carriage .

How tacky ! Almost as bad as your poetry

Candles.

Hundreds , thousands of candles ...

on my birthday.

Have you seen the carpet ?

Have you read my poem?

Here are pills , powders ...

drops and suppositories.

Suppositories ?

It is a new formula.

You have to control the dose

Do you know when you reach your peak ?

Peak?

Taking magic potions eh ?

Look at me, Paolo . I don't need pills.

This is my peak.

Do you like the candles?

We could eat off the carpet

I want you to attend to the table personally...

with great courtesy .

Bring champagne

I Have a gift for you. -Please , No wheelchair

This key ...

Opens your heart Dr. Smarmy .

This key is very special.

Thank you, Sigi.

Come on . I'm thirsty .

It's party time.

Tonight I want to do something wonderful and unique

Sigi , give me something ..

My head really hurts ..

Come on, Bodo ! Tell me something exciting.

Her eyes were radiant.

Full of nostalgia strong loving and wise.

Men who killed for love.

Good, Bodo. Well said .

Maybe he hasn't seen us.

It's so dark.

Of course he's seen us . Go for it.

Why me..?

You got us into this. Not just me.

Follow orders .... Go !

Wait a minute. I know I never agreed .

But you, I gave you an order...

Do you have any written evidence ?

He called his assistant.

who found three prostitutes ...

coming this way.

Three whores ?

Do you think it will work better with whores ?

Lotti, leave me alone .

Sigi gave you my pills , -and bring me some pasta .

No, make that soup.

A light soup with a beaten egg yolk .

I was disappointed the other night.

But now I know that sex , between us, ...

Is not all that important

Beaten egg yolk ?

Is it good for your allergies?

And the minestrone ? Has peas.

Well ask them to take the peas out.

Come and live with me.

I will respect your space. and whenever you want

I'll cook for you.

And my cigarettes and my oil? They're not in the package.

We'll sleep together ...

like brother and sister.

Forgot my cigarettes ? That woman will drive me crazy .

Fanny , I gave you a lot of money .

You live in my house with your lover

Why didn't you come when I asked that time?

What more do you want ? Don't talk daft

Do you think I can only be happy in your big house ?

I can be happy anywhere.

But you can't you won't be happy anywhere.

And do I cry ?

I sent your stupid package ..

to the Rossini last week as usual

Every week I send you it Pack your own fucking shit!

Oscar!

Rudi , you bastard . How are you?

You are alone? Sit .

My name is Hopf . Sorry to disturb you

We need to talk

Join us . privately

What's happened? We're here already

Working with Dr. Weich and Melk from the board in Frankfurt.

The Doctor wants to review ...

the Lorelei contract.

Whenever you want.

Tonight.

Tonight? Is he mad?

My contracts are in the safe.

not in my underpants.

Oscar , I've done everything that I could.

I'm between a rock and a hard place .

If the contract isn't sweet I'll kill you .

This also hurts me.

Doctor, do you also do breasts ?

I don't want new breasts. I want a new nose.

How long have you been like a Picasso?

Ever since I was a child I've hated my nose.

One second, sweetheart

Tell me, Doctor

Could you give my sweetheart a good pair of melons ?

That is to say - nice tits

I met a woman today ...

That chicken on the phone - here they are.

Nobody in this shit-hole..

A woman from a fairy tale.

Paolo , but what have you ... ?

She's young , blonde, tall and very beautiful .

And what a body! I wish I had five arms.

And three cocks

No, this woman is an angel.

A saint

And you know how much I know about women.

Fate has put a miracle in my life.

I will marry her.

You crazy?

We'll get married.

She'll be the mother of my children.

The queen of my house.

The joy of my eyes.

The comfort of my old age.

Damn bitch! Open the door.

Damn whore

Let me out

Just wanted to say I've the Rhine in my veins .

I was born for this role.

I grew up on the Rhine ,

next to the Lorelei rock .

I sucked in breast milk there.

Lorelei was born in the Rhine.

In the Rhine ?

This is no comedy either .

I mean it . This is serious German literature

We should do it in English.

I want to dine in peace

without hearing about that movie.

The language? That's not the problem.

This film deals in physical presence , senses

the powerful flow of female feelings.

It's about emotions ...

mystical constellations ..

mesmerizing myths .

What a mess ! Tell Windisch to come .

Arrive at any time. with the contract .

He won't come because nobody will film " Lorelei " .

Not Herr Reiter or anyone.

Never? No ..

What is this?

The lobster you ordered.

I don't like lobster. No lobster

I'll start . My soup's already cold

Do you know what Bodo has done? He has put his tongue in my ear.

"Not even Hollywood millionaire deals

have convinced the author. "

" While I live, nobody adapts my work for the movies. "

" Described as an eccentric ...

even by his publisher, the author ...

leads a solitary life ...

in a secret corner of Scotland.

He has not been seen in public in many years.

There are no photographs of him .

only drawings based on descriptions given by...

some shepherds in the area ...

Using a computer we made an..

Watch out

an identikit picture.

Well, you can begin to declare . In turn

Ask me, Bodo: " Will you marry me?"

This Is ridiculous. Coward . Do you, Oscar ?

Me? Very good .

Valerie , my love ...

Damn pig! Excuse me a moment.

Who is that disagreeable man ?

A businessman. Oscar is always the same

Herr Reiter,

it is my duty to inform you that your debts ...

They are overdue . 47.5 million Euros

Hey you , yuppie

It's a private party. Beat it

Be right back

Herr Reiter, we are a small bank

I will mourn

We work on a small scale .

I will make a friendly offer:

Assuming the debt is 27 million ...

47.5 , Sir. Yes I know

Of those 47.5 , We'll pay about 27 million.

in exchange for the shares in your company .

I see. A very generous offer .

But not for me .

Of course not . You have already resigned.

Of course, we will pay the rest when it recovers

You can continue to do business in the course of your career.

Bet on it

Tonight. But not with you .

I buy the rights myself...

the biggest bestseller of all times.

"Lorelei" by Jacob Windisch.

Jacob will come in a moment.

In his private jet from his Scottish corner .

Scottish corner ? But if you come by bicycle.

Sure. The best author of bestsellers comes on a bike...

to this public place ...

so shy that he

will sell you the book.

Exactly. And I will make the deal of the century ...

without you ,

I do not want you

I need guys with guts.

Financially bold .

not small-time bankers

300 million readers worldwide .

Almost like the Bible.

And you're out of the game .

Damn you all

Good evening , gentlemen.

What is it? Oh shit

where are you going? for a piss .

I'll come with you

Let me know when Jacob arrives.

Marry your employer , silk covering your ...

and grab 10 grand with each powder .

Why not ? Maybe that's the solution.

If he is my husband ...

you'll be my lover.

" Your lust has no limit ... "

Fuck you !

But leave my poem alone.

I really torment you?

Come on. Admit I torment you.

I'll get Sigi

This seems like an attack.

A heart attack . Give me my drops

I'll shoot " Lorelei " .

I'm going to...

Don't think about that. You 're exhausted .

Take a break . Go on holiday . Relax .

We'll think of the movie when you're better .

Don't worry about my health

The cinema.

The cinema is war , my friend.

And this movie is ...

a field of battle in a million..

which shall be split by rivers of blood.

I will not give up the fight at the first blow .

I won't miss out on this story

If I don't get it , you're dead, you limp dicks

How about a drink after dinner?

Doctor ? For the digestion ?

Good evening, Herr Windisch . Good evening

How are you? All right?

Well , thank you.

Very well, Frau Serafina .

Fraulein, please

A moment, please

Dear Frau Serafina .

Fraulein, Herr Windisch

One moment

Dear Frau Serafina . Fraulein

I....permit me..

Do I have permission to ...

bring you a ...

to bring.. a little surprise

Here ...

bring a ... Please .

Oh ,Mein Herr

But how has it happened .

Lorelei in Italian

" To Serafina "

Mein Herr, to me.

With affection .

Thank you very much

A sweet Serafina liked my sonatina

Pretty, Windisch Don't be silly

A peck on the cheek and you get a hard on

In the middle of the night, you undid the bra clasp.

Herr Windisch?

Who are you?

Excuse me, Herr Windisch .

Go away.

I 'm a big fan of your work.

What art! What a great book !.

You have nothing to fear.

I do not want to bother you

I come to you humbly .

I bought your book

I opened it, and I read the first sentence:

" The moon sheds confusion over the valleys . "

" The velvet night spreads its shadow...

on the calm waters of the Rhine. "

Herr Windisch has arrived. OK

OK

He's here

What do you want from me? An autograph?

No, an interview.

I write for the Metropolitan.

A Weekly publication .

I am writing an article on the adaptation of your work.

That is , from your book .

There will be no film , no article, nothing .

But it will make me

No . Yes it will.

I must tell you, Jacob Windisch ..

I am a tigress .

And when I get a grip nothing escapes

Please!

Leave or I will ask..

Help.

I won't hurt you , honey.

You're so ...

sexy.

I like wrestling.

So do I.

What are you doing ? Get back to work .

If my wife finds out Jacob Windisch has been here ..

she'll flip

I read the book. I was blown away.

Me too.

And my wife

For women, " Lorelei " has a mystical meaning.

More than 300 million women around the world have read it

More than the Bible .

If only one in three women ...

worldwide ...

see the film ...

It would be a success.

An amazing success.

Waiter !

I don't see the gentleman I have arranged to meet.

Do you have reservation?

I have an appointment with Uhu Ziegeuner, the famous director.

Of course.

What are you looking at you tarts?

Waiter ! The ladies want the bill.

The party is over.

I've gone over every word, every expression ...

with a fine tooth comb

It is linguistically correct.

It is different to....

There is not a single grammatical error

It is ready to sign.

Oscar is bankrupt. Seriously?

Who? You've lost, Oscar

You're left skint

Even so, I can still take those three anytime.

What do you mean? Who is bankrupt ?

I told you not to take unnecessary risks.

My whole life is about taking risks.

In business and in love. Your business is a bummer.

"We risk everything , to win everything. " Goethe.

Nonsense ! That's rubbish, Oscar .

Where is the risk in making this film ?

It's guaranteed to make money

however bad , everyone will want to go and see it.

You're always the same.

The guy makes ...

a spicy remake pseudo - intellectual

The audience applauds. Touching. Magnificent.

Delicious .

Then along comes the Great Oscar ...

with his large dustpan

to clean up

with a blockbuster

and everyone still sucking on the tit

And people pouring money in the bank

In this case, in my pocket.

In our pockets , right?

Lorelei! That sentimental bullshit .

What do you know about literature?

Edwin!

Time to destroy the ivory tower .

That genius firm On the dotted line .

And we already have .

Rossini , good evening.

Where is the million cheque?

your wife.

It's your wife.

Follow , but not too obviously . He doesn't like it.

What, sad? Why Fanny ?

Because you're what?

A witch? Why?

I had a horrible nightmare.

I was a witch ...

and I burned for adultery .

Fanny , stop talking nonsense .

Everyone has nightmares.

Would you marry me again ?

Don't be silly. We are already married.

Tell me now ...

if I 'm your wife and you are my husband.

Yes , I'm coming

I have urgent business.

Run after him ! Catch him.

We'll talk tomorrow .

Why aren't we like that? why one or the other?

Why be so conventional ?

You don't know what you want .

I know what I want. I want more.

I lust. A wild lust.

And peace.

And passion driving me crazy .

And harmony.

And friendship. A strong and loyal friendship .

And an intoxicating love.

Is that all?

Yes , Oscar. That's all.

I want to go through life barefoot ...

on burning coals

Running through the field with the morning dew .

Burning fields . I see.

Is that one of Bodo's verses ?

One of your typical poems ?

Which of the three is walking on burning coals ?

Who is barefoot on the precipice, with no net or anything ?

he or I ?

You, Oscar .

Because you 're stronger .

Kiss me ...

my morning dew .

you again? What do you want now?

Could you give me .. for my wife ...

an autograph .

Herr Windisch ? "To Hanne Hopf"

What?

For me too.

For Angie Weich . and Gisela Melk.

" Your literature has no equal ...

and only knows great success. "

Or something similar. My wife will be amazed .

Amazed ?

Ask Windisch do it.. To Hopf , Melk and Weich .

Paolo ! Hurry up! Sigi ! Come here!

Did you say cheaper, doctor?

It's cheaper if we do everything at once.

Breasts and nose.

Let me go. I want to go home.

Calm down !

Serafina , bring a chair. And go get Sigi .

I'm reporting this ill-treatment.

Please , I want to go home .

Shall we call an ambulance? Take a grappa.

Get out! I have to clean the wound.

Stop staring! Back to work .

A woman's dirty fingernails can give blood-poisoning.

It's just a scratch. We don't know that .

Once a woman bit my foreskin.

And I had an infection. She hasn't bitten you

Yes she has. Where?

Take off your pants .

No . Come on .

If she bit him there,

I'll report this aggravated assault

Forgive me. Herr Reiter wants three autographs.

Not now. Get out of here !

Come in, darling.

Herr Rossini.. He invited me to dinner.

Please.

Can you pay the cab ? I have no loose.....

The menu , please. and a glass of champagne .

Would you stop looking that blonde bitch?

Or shall I ask her to join us ?

Why not ?

Tell her to come over. She's very good .

Don't make a scene.

I have already done it .

Oscar's working and you're drooling over this bag .

I introduce you , and then I'll go .

Valerie ! Please!

This limp dick daren't tell you he likes you.

Stop it , Valerie . Sit down .

This is my table - I have an appointment.

Sit with her.

She's your type . Young and stupid .

If you ever touch her, you worm..

Doctor ,Herr Windisch !

One of us has to go.

Fuck you ! Go away or I'll kill you with this bottle.

It's okay, Watussnik . I forgive you

Where were you last night? With you

Until 3..and from 3-5 ? What a question!

I know where you were. Where?

Did he know you came from my bed? You are jealous.

And how was it with him? Fantastic .

It was still warm and moist. I explored him and he me .

One more word and I kill you

Kill me and love me Love me to death...

You're the only one that I love

It's nothing serious. Only a mild attack.

3 drops every 3 hours to calm him down.

Good, Sigi. Thanks.

Have a few more.

About 30 every few minutes the doctor said

I have nothing in common with the movies.

Nor with this idiot Oscar Reiter

I do not want to talk to him or even shake his hand.

You don't have to.

Edwin, take note:

The producer agrees not to disturb the author Jacob Windisch ...

or contact him ...

either orally or in writing.

secondly:

the producer will not see the movie ...

until ...

Never. You'll never see it.

Right, so, Edwin:

He will never see the movie. But if ..

No "buts" . Write , Edwin .

thirdly:

The film will be shot by Uhu Zigeuner ...

Nobody shoots , no-one .

OK, Write , Edwin :

The film will not be shot ..

but if it is, the director will be Uhu Zigeuner .

The producer can attend the filming ...

No, never.

Will attend the filming. You see the finished film ...

No, neither.

You will not see the movie, at least until the premiere.

Fourthly: The producer Oscar Reiter shall pay to the author Jacob Windisch ..

the sum of one million Euros

No, two million.

Put down three million

Write that, Edwin , or Jacob will not sign

I'll sign anything

" For Fraulein Serafina .

With affection . "

" To Anne Hopf

With sincere friendship , Jacob Windisch . "

"PS : I'm sure my friend Oscar Reiter ...

will turn the movie of this book....

into an international success "

Oh, that Jacob

Listen:

" For Angie Weich , with all my affection ...

Jacob Windisch."

" PS: My old friend Oscar Reiter ...

will make such a beautiful film ...

that my millions of readers ...

will become viewers "

This Is great. Wait till you hear this:

" For Gisela Melk, with great admiration ...

to a woman who is known ...

as unequalled in the literary world Your devoted admirer . "

Gisela will be very ...

No PS?

PS? Well of course.

" Do not worry , Frau Melk.

We both know how hard it is to adapt a literary work.

The only man capable of taking the risk ...

of adapting my " Lorelei " ...

with all the passion and sensitivity ...

that will make it a real success ...

-is my dear friend and colleague Oscar Reiter. "

-Melk , Old fox. -Oscar , I feel great .

And you, Hopf, you old ratbag .

We must bring out Lorelei .

And stick together on this.

We'll do it. Right, Weich ?

It will be a mega-super-ultra smash-hit surely ...

It will displace Hollywood. Worldwide and forever.

It's time to know who we Germans are.

" Bite the dust enemies of Brandenburg ."

I have a good feeling . A very good feeling, Oscar

It will be great!

Fabulous!

Goodbye !

Until then .

Bank rats

You missed something important.

A lot of idlers wallowing in shit like pigs.

You know, when all is said and done

Jacob is a good friend .

Don't worry

But this is criminal

This is ...

the dirtiest racketeering I've ever seen .

Dirty, stinking thieves!

Don't take it at face value . It's just a contract .

Why do they do this?

I'm their friend

They are my friends.

And me ...

He is my only ...

dear friend .

What have I done to Jacob ?

I love Jacob.

Jacob is a great artist .

Jacob is like a brother to me.

My soul brother .

I'm not a fucking businessman.

I just wanted to make a movie with some friends.

A work of art .

I'm not a bastard...

like other producers.

I am also an artist.

to the bottom of my soul. That's right , Oscar.

We all know that. They do too.

You and your violin.

You could become a very famous violinist ...

like Rubinstein or Horowitz.

What do you know about music , jerk?

I don't pay them millions to nourish your mind ,

while I'm screwed.

I won't let those rats chew my balls.

That's taking it up the ass .

Oscar , calm down .

You know what you're going to do..?

fucking shyster ?

You 're going to say to that rat Windisch , that his dear " Lorelei " ...

there, screw you

Tell me, Doctor, Why is this horrible man ...

so hard on Jacob Windisch ?

Fuck you, Lorelei !

What ? Fuck Lorelei ?

Will you allow that?

Whoever insults Lorelei , insults Germany.

Germany? You foreigners you know nothing ...

What?

Do you want to fight, dago?

Give me the contract, traitor.

I'll take care of this alone .

I'll teach you, you have the value of a fly

He will know .

Judas ! Whose friend are you? Windisch's or mine ?

We're all friends

you're the one behind everything .

You're the organizer .

But this is the last time you fuck me . Judas !

You're not going to shoot " Lorelei " .

Nor will you

That remains to be seen .

I'll get that worm Jacob !

You'll never see us here again. Good .

That goes for you too, Dr. Boobs

Where is that rat ?

I don't know. He was here a minute ago .

Wait here

That's him, right?

Herr Windisch?

You have elevated German literature.

No-one can humiliate it For us , Lorelei is sacred.

We know who you are . We read between the lines.

Enough praise. We claim our place.

Where is that bimbo?

Get eggs

It wasn't my fault

I should fire you.

I didn't do it on purpose.

Herr Rossini.

They didn't tell me you were here

Snow White.

Today I finished that part

I haven't even taken off the costume

Cinderella.

I really wanted to see you.

This is Fraulein Watussnik , the director of the theater.

Good evening

She's always very nice to me , -like my sister.

She 'll tell you everything .

It's irresistible...

and friendly

A elegant style with elegant braces

Perhaps they are not so elegant...

but they are very practical, if you're moving all the time

I love the braces

Your tie is on fire.

I'll come back. I'm going to change my clothes.

You're my friend?

Yes, I'm your friend .

And me yours.

Are we going to shoot " Lorelei "?

We'll shoot it .

And we will take on that pack of rats ?

Yes, all of them . Together ?

Like blood brothers?

You first. You're the director.

Well

No, you first.

You're the producer. No, you're the greatest.

It was your idea. You first.

I get queasy when I see blood.

Give me that, Careful,it is very sharp.

Quickly the glass

Press hard. You've cut a vein.

The powders from the bag , the drops in the vial ,

The pills

and the suppository ..

from the box .

Quickly doctor

Herr Reiter is bleeding

Where?

Upstairs, Herr Zigeuner .

He was wounded with a knife.

Is it fatal?

A scratch , do not worry . Take me to him.

You love him, not me.

Drink the blood of your brother.

It's like a Kir Royal.

Baby...

Give it to me ,

Kiss me , beast . I thought I would die .

Stop acting like a whore.

That's not right.

Sigi , you won't change that,

Even though you aim to get in my pants.

Who knew our Sigi was an Othello !

Come here. Kiss me, animal.

All men are bastards Yes, Lotti.

You're all bastards.

You're right. We're bastards.

So are women

We're all bastards.

There is no love between a man and a woman...

I know, Lotti, only sex.

And sex sucks.

Herr Uhu?

Your wife

Where is she?

She'll be back soon

She's gone to powder her nose

Tonight, I ...

Tonight , I feel ...

very happy. And you?

Fanny , I'm exhausted .

My stomach hurts . I have't eaten anything all day.

Please , give me a break .

You should say it now .

At this very moment .

You should say : " Fanny , my love.

I love you and I can't live without you ...

because you're the great love of my life. "

Say it, come on.

Yes , Fanny . I love you.

I love you.

You're the only great love..

You're the only great love...

Of my life

of my life..

and I'll never ...

and I'll never ... ..

love another as I love you

love another...

as I love you

Who you are?

Fuck me , tigress !

You 're the only one I love.

You're the one , and I 'm the one .

How do we arrange this? In turns?

You do one day and I next?

Get up !

Do you share ? Is that why you 're jealous ?

Hit me if you love me passionately . Take me from him.

We won't get anywhere .

No, let him look

Or hit him if it bothers you .

Down him with that bottle . You men.

Come on, let's go, beat him up.

Half an hour ago, he fucked me on the patio

How're you going to handle that ? Is that true?

What did you do ? Tell me the truth , Oscar

Where were you last night ...

Between 3 and 5?

Does it affect our friendship?

No, if you don't mind being after me.

Is that true ?

I thought so

because I could see she wasn't satisfied

Cut the crap !

No woman has left my bed unsatisfied.

You were satisfied Yes or no

I hate you

You don't even deserve my hatred .

You bother me.

You, Oscar Reiter...

and you, Bodo Kriegnitz.

" Your lust is endless. "

You are so conventional . You really are.

The giant in the kingdom of fatal passions ..

The doctor of broken hearts ...

of male sweat and female desire ..

Violent, strong desires by men with guts.

Paper tigers.

You're no more than paper tigers.

Wait a minute.

That's enough, but ... you?

You're a kid.

You never grow up. A child playing at being a man.

Drunken juvenile phrases : "Life is war ...

love is war. "

What do you know of love?

A shag.. Shoot

Another glorious victory ...

on the battlefield of love.

You were never interested in me.

You were only playing :

who is the strongest , the biggest .

who makes me come more often or better.

And you want me to decide between you?

I've suffered from constipation since going out with you two

I want to shit as before.

I'm not 17 any more.

I don't have the time or desire ...

for your stupid games .

Your childish games

Childish?

I tell you , friend:

Women are trouble.

Let's wait half an hour ...

and if either of us gets a better offer ...

Sigi , take me home .

Don't move, Sigi ..

Don't fall into her trap. Be strong .

Please, Sigi.

I can't

I love her

Give me the keys to your apartment

What are you after?

Your keys . What are you looking at?

This is a mess

What are you going to do in the apartment ?

A screen test. I 'm an actress

Sure, of course.

The cinema !

Cinema is my passion .

And Uhu is one of my best and dearest friends .

When it comes to filming ..

He always ask my opinion .

Sometimes I say :

" Uhu , I've seen that actor ...

in a film.

He's good. Check out his work. "

he always trusts me.

Because he knows that ...

I'm his best friend.

I have a nose for these things.

A gut feeling ,

that comes from right within ...

from deep down... from my vital organs .

You OK? Are you on something ?

Drugs ? No, I am always like this .

You're an exeptionally...

beautiful woman .

So exciting.

You make my blood boil, Zillie .

I'm sorry , Herr Rossini.

But I do not like men.

No?

No.

Maybe you have not found....

I am strong.

and wild.

A tiger.

No, Bodo. It's you she loves.

No, it's you . No, you.

You know how many times in bed she called me Bodo?

And me Oscar in similar situations?

My love.

I am so happy.

I've never been so happy.

Never Never. -it's a miracle.

A miracle indeed

Can I tell you something ...

without you getting angry ?

I'm not here by chance.

I planned this

I prepared .

I lied

All I wanted was to find you.

So what? That's wonderful .

No, it is not.

Because I did not want you .

I just wanted the role .

I would have slept with anyone to get it.

Even with the dumbest ...

fat' disgusting pervert.

I would have given my tits and ass to anyone

to get that role.

I had it all planned.

I was prepared for anything ...

except ...

falling in love with you

"Lorelei" ...

will be a success.

A multi-million smash-hit

I'll get an ulcer.

I 'll smoke 150 cigarettes a day.

I'll have fits of rage . I'll hurt all over.

But it will be tragic , Faustian , very German .

It will be horrible

Horrible!

If I can survive ,

I will be emotionally ...

intellectually, artistically and physically finished.

How horrible.

And you too will be horrible.

You will be famous ..

an overnight

Superstar.

They will shower you with offers

Oh horror!

And then ...

You'll leave me

Never

I'll never leave you ...

my love.

Never

Then let's go. Tonight.

Leave? Where to?

Wherever

Let's start again, we'll leave everything

I'll go with you anywhere ...

to the end of the world.

And the movie? You can't leave it because of me.

It is your life

I no longer need it

You are my life ..

Please , Valerie . Open it .

What's this?

Bank cheques , deeds..

share certificates

Why? All my fortune..

You want to...

I don't want to buy you. .

I want to marry you.

I promise you ...

no more little scenes .

I'll put it in writing

Please.

Okay, Sigi .

I'll think it over

How long ?

Until tomorrow night .

In the Rossini?

In the Rossini.

For love! For friendship!

More drinks.

Paolo , We want more drinks . Serafina ! More drinks !

Where is that stupid girl?

What are you doing? Serafina !

Don't you like me?

Tell me .

Do you like me ?

Yes . But I ...

It will be a wonderful evening.

One night? But what ...?

You'll live through a wonderful evening.

Live ?

I do not live .

I'm a writer .

I write, not live ..

Of course , my love.

Look at me, listen to me.

No. No more realism.

I do not live ...

hear no , see no , no ...

I get it .

Now come here .

What about my house ?

Your house at Elba It's empty , right?

Yes.

Do me a favor. lend me the keys.

We're leaving tonight. I'm eager to get going.

Got a big car ?

A small one is good for the city.

Thanks very much .

You're very good to us , Paolo .

You're a good person.

Are you crazy or what ?

Oscar , you are and will always my best friend.

But this is my life .

And is more important than a film .

Since when?

Goodbye my friend.

I wish you all the best.

Come Get the car .

I'll see if I can find some food in the kitchen.

You haven't eaten anything , darling

Okay my love. Thank you.

Uhu , don't be a jerk.

Leave him alone .

He's very tired .

He can't make any movie

What are you talking about?

Who are you ?

I am Lorelei .

What? Who?

Look at me. I'm the one you've been looking for

Don't you realize , silly ?

You're a real beast .

Good night .

Bodo, take your paws off her. She is mine.

Come on

Uhu , don't get excited

You 're exhausted . You need a break .

Go on, get well , Take control .

Oscar , that woman is a witch

No, she's a winner. She will test tomorrow.

You don't have the rights . -Lorelei Is a German heroine

I don't need Windisch's book . I'll do my own story .

Bodo will write the script for two meals a day .

Why do I have to spend millions on that hysterical diva ?

the great master of kitsch ?

" Lorelei " is my film.

You're no good at great tragic works.

How ironic. the master of light comedy .

Goodbye, blood brother. I love you.

Why is it so dark ? Light the candles.

Begin the romance of the night. My violin!

I know you're asleep , Valerie

But when you hear this tape, I want you to know ...

I'm the happiest man in the world.

Just the fact you've not said no ,

keeps a small flame burning

giving me courage to face the world .

I'm so happy.

I can't remember the last time I felt this way .

I know that this decision will affect your whole life.

But I'm sure it's for the best.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow night.

Good night, Valerie .

Sweet dreams , my love.

Everything will be alright . You'll see

I brought your cigarettes .

And your bath oil .

You are ...

very kind Fanny .

Are you okay ?

Yes

How is our home?

Each day more beautiful .

We have three new trees

And two cypresses next to the pool.

Want to see the pictures?

beautiful cypresses.

Very tall.

Who planted them?

He did..

He?..

Jean-Luc.

The indestructible mountain of passion and love ..

has been reduced to a few miserable ruins

Nothing left . There's just dust on the stones

as in the best comedies .

Always the same old song. Everything goes wrong

then the fatal question of who slept with who ...

is forgotten in a happy ending.

Listen , Jacob.

A little matter of business .

Bodo has ejaculated another poem .

something of a.. "Requiem por Valerie" .

Oscar wants me to adapt it.

Her corpse is still warm .

What little consideration ! I don't want to know.

Windisch and Uhu are writing the script together?

No, Lotti. I'll write the script.

It'll be all..

about love, passion and death.

She dies at the end ?

In the bath - the grand finale. That isn't an ending.

Why not ? It is strong and tragic

Bullshit !

People want life , and life always continues.

Except when it dies .

What do you think , Sigi ? You always loved her.

And who will play Valerie ?

She will

Her? But she's blonde .

So what? It's a movie . Everything is possible on film.

You know, Paolo . I've told you many times.

You're not my type .

Nor you mine.

Then we have something in common.

Let's keep that in mind .

English subtitles by Michael Feilden