Original subtitles

BRAINIAC brainiacsubs@gmail.com

Hey Murph. You know what time is it now?

It's time to get in the mood.

I feel like the cat were watching us.

We don't have a cat.

Hello!

No! Ugly Adam!

Ah, I see that you are circumcised.

But you are not a Jew or Muslim, huh?

No, I'm Catholic.

What ?!

So it's pretty weird that you are circumcised, no?

No, no. It's normal.

In fact, it is not.

Hi, I'm Adam Conover.

Just get it over with.

The US is one of the few countries in the world. who practices circumcisions for no religious reason

and yet many of We don't even know why.

You never wondered why Doesn't your turtle have a shell?

No.

Lets roll. It only takes 21 minutes plus the commercials.

50 Tones of MMA

To promote the program.

To learn more, let's go back totime for when you were circumcised.

Oh no!

At the time when you lost the chapel,

circumcision was already being a tradition for generations.

Mr. and Mrs. Murphy, you do you want me to circumcise Brian?

I think so.

I mean, his should look like mine, doesn't it?

But the origin of this tradition It's really weird.

His should look like mine, doesn't it?

His should look like mine, doesn't it?

His should look like mine, doesn't it?

Melhor better cut.

What ?!

Yeah. Although religious circumcision has been practiced in the east for millennia,

nobody did that in the US before the 19th century puritan,

when sexophobic doctors boasted that this was a way

to prevent boys commit their favorite sin.

Watch.

The vile masturbator.

The yellowed countenance.

The rotten teeth.

The open wounds.

In fact, I think that I have syphilis.

Official Diagnosis:

masturbate!

John Harvey Kellogg, the inventor of cornflakes.

Healing requires two measures.

A diet rich in cornflakes.

And cut part of the penis.

The Victorian Moralists just hated sex

and they thought that giving a sting in the pimpolho

could contain our more depraved and lewd instincts,

and don't even want to know what he thought that should be done with women.

Just apply a few dropsof carbamic acid ... in the clitoris.

I'm glad at least This fashion didn't catch on.

This is insane.

Being circumcised doesn't make me prevents me from masturbating.

I know not.

That's why it's so weird that we still do that.

But that's not it, I don't know ... cleaner?

Anything.

This is another Victorian myth.

Those guys had a lot of weird ideas about circumcision.

Circumcision is hygienic. Foreword It's the stuff of dirty immigrants.

And it cures seizures.

And tuberculosis.

Circumcision can even help to prevent some rare infections,

but has the same efficiency that, well ... wash the turkey.

Why would you have to cut a body part to keep it clean?

You don't have to cut the bands your ass to keep it clean.

What a magnificent idea.

Let's get out of here. Taxi!

OK, but the foreskin It's useless, right?

In fact, the foreskin has an important role in sex.

It has several termi- nervous nations, 83

and it is a natural lubricant.

Natural lubricant?

Like a sausage in a greased bread.

So look.

Give me back hot dog!

Weird metaphor ...

Circumcision decreases by up to 60% the frequency of HIV infection among men,

but condoms reduce by 80% and that no need to, you know ...

take off the collar.

Oops, this � your stop.

Yeah, but girls find chicks with weird foreskin. 95

Let's try it out.

Excuse me, miss.

Does this dick look weird?

NOT CIRCUITED

Yes.

And this dick, sound weird?

CIRCUISED

Yes.

Beauty. And this chick sound weird?

Yes. All chicks They look weird.

Hayley! Hi!

Hi people.

Wait a minute, I'll be right down!

Hi Adam. Ruining something? 110

You know, in the Victorian Era -

Not now. I'm late for a drunken painting class.

Nonsense.

Modinha of the part Generation Y.

By that Matt?

Matt?

No, we we separated.

He was half empty.

We got no subject to talk.

Really?

What a pity.

Want to come with me?

Of course!

But...

I have more curiosities Amazing sex to tell.

We can resume this later?

We'll see.

Clear.

Look, if you like being circumcised or was made for religious reasons, beauty.

No big problem with that.

But as far as I know, neither there is not a very attractive reason

and the only reason for you get circumcised

It's because a bunch of nineteenth century grimaces I was trying to ruin your sex life.

Have a good time.

You already returned ... Want to continue where did we stop?

Not in the mood anymore.

Understandable.

I'll just go over the plan oftomorrow's health class.

It will be hard.

I'll talk about the dangers of herpes.

Where did I leave the plan?

Wow ... Everything you know about herpes is wrong.

We will have to talk about it.

No.

No.

Wow, this one It's too bad.

Health class! What is plan for tomorrow, fessor?

I will teach to herpes class.

I will teach to herpes class.

About how herpes is no big deal and we don't need to worry about her? 152

About how herpes is no big deal and we don't need to worry about her?

What ?! No! About how herpes It's super serious and very dangerous.

What ?! No! About how herpes It's super serious and very dangerous.

No, about how herpes � super serious and very dangerous.

Herpes is not dangerous. Most sometimes it's not even noticeable.

Oh, don't even start, man.

Because this time I know well what I'm talking about. 160

Cool, let's watch!

Yes, let's go! I know it's a trap, but I'm pretty confident!

Hi, kids.

This is DJ Murph.

I'll use this to sign up in the film course.

They will love it.

And I'm here to talk about HERPES!

Is a serious and sexually type communicable disease.

Wow.

Herpes looks like scary

I'm a teenager.

Really.

Ask Herpy the Terrible Genital herpes virus. 174

I cause eruptions and sores red on your genitals

and I am incurable!

The effects are amazing.

George Lucas is a great influence on my work.

Wow it looks like Herpes is terrible.

Wow it looks like Herpes is terrible.

Better me and my young boy we don't have sex.

I would not say that.

But it would rap.

Herpes. No.

No. For.

No. For. No.

Herpes is for nerds.

Herpes, yo.

You can not cure taking pill.

You can not cure taking pill.

One in six Americans.

Have herpes for under the cloths.

This tactic of terror It's a big nonsense.

This tactic of terror It's a big nonsense.

Now it's getting good.

It's time for you both to learn like real herpes.

Ready to show to them, Herpy?

I'm not so bad So, little friends.

You just got us infect with herpes?

Yes. You're welcome. 202

You passed us a serious disease!

You passed us a serious disease!

I didn't pass, no.

I passed herpes.

Go down the beat.

OK, from the beginning.

Rashes and wounds? This is sensationalism.

Let's call them than they really are.

Red little faces.

It looks disgusting.

Yeah, but you already live covered of little red faces.

Mosquito Bites, by ingrown pimples.

Mosquito Bites, by ingrown pimples.

Human being coberto be covered withlittle red faces, ok?

It's true, I have Blackhead in the back.

Then you flew conoverized!

Second: the reason of 4 out of 5 carriers do not know they are infected

Because or they don't show symptoms

or the symptoms are so mild that they didn't even notice.

And almost everyone has herpes.

If you have oral herpes, 90% of the world's population

carry some variant of the virus.

What ?!

This means that if you don't have herpes,

You're the weirdo.

For!

Stop it! I don't I know how to play basketball.

Stop it! I don't I know how to play basketball.

No.

I do not believe you. You are not a doctor.

Neither do you. You teacher of physical education.

She is a doctor.

Guys, this is Dr.� Jennifer Lang.

DR.� JENNIFER LANG American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists

Obstetrician and certified gynecologist.

Hi people.

Thank God! That guyJust passed us herpes.

What will happen with us?

Should not happen a lot of things.

Most of the people nor does it develop symptoms.

Some people develop rashes subtle around the mouth or genitals,

Sometimes, some expensive red or white.

Sometimes, some expensive red or white.

The truth is, unless your immunity is compromised

and you are in the last months of pregnancy,

you don't need to worry about it. 250

Nothing to to worry.

That's what i say to my patients.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Jennifer.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Jennifer.

My God!

You have to give some Dark glasses for us.

The fact is that the fear of our culture towards herpes

totally disproportionate to little danger it poses.

We are dealing with somethingwhich is in practice genital spine

as if it were some kind of sexual plague.

And this fear is very recent.

Even a few decades ago, nobody cared about herpes.

Samantha Beth, beloved, has Something you need to know.

I have dear in my bag!

Charles, me too have. Whatever!

But everything changed in the early 80's.

In the hangover of sexual revolution,

"NEW MORAL VEN�RE DISEASE"

And that worked.

No, I have dear red on my blau blau.

This is not cool.

I will die.

Damn it. It seems even disproportionate.

Yes.

The only serious symptom from herpes is the shame.

One study found that people consider herpes most embarrassing

GRAPH OF SHAME

than any other STD except AIDS.

Madness!

And herpes is so stigmatizedthat there are several dating sites

only for people with herpes.

And all this because of a disease that 90% of people have.

Do you know what other sites are for people who have herpes?

Do you know what other sites are for people who have herpes?

OKCupid, Match.com, Christian Mingle.

OKCupid, Match.com, Christian Mingle.

All of them because nine of every ten people have herpes.

All of them because nine of every ten people have herpes.

The only differencebetween this guy ...

The only difference between this guy ...

I have a disease! I will be alone forever!

I have a disease! I will be alone forever!

... and this guy ...

So, guys? Anyone like one enhancing sexual relationship?

So, guys? Anyone like one enhancing sexual relationship?

So, guys? Anyone like one enhancing sexual relationship?

that the first guy You know you have herpes.

that the first guyYou know you have herpes.

Poor guy.

No, wait.

The fact that we build so much each other

because of a disease that pretty much everyone has

It's a horrible thing.

OK.

I think I shouldn't try to be so scared. tator when talking about herpes to class.

She is not that really dangerous.

It looks like he's serving, isn't it, Herpy?

Good job, my friends!

Hey, Herpy. How about taking herpes did you pass us?

No, no.

You two already had herpes!

Since college.

Oh, Herpy!

The craziest part is that I don't I remember filming none of that.

Well now that I have already burst the gourd of his knowledge,

Well now that I have already burst the gourd of his knowledge,

I can go now.

He's a funny virus.

Wait a minute.

You said "I blew the gourd of your knowledge "?

Yes, it's a metaphor ... for pierce the virgin hymen.

It was rough, I'm sorry.

It was not rough. This istotally incorrect.

It's not like that a man works.

Really? I did not know that.

Something I did not know!

My God!

If you don't know about it,

I mean I have to teach you something!

Next: This is "Emily Ruins Everything".

It will not roll to have sex, will you?

Sorry honey.

It's my turn to explain something.

Give me your powers TV magicians.

Where are they? In your glasses?

No.

Your degree is absurd.

Who has the knowledge development holds the power. 347

For, you should only use the powers for learning!

Calm down I'll get there.

Say what the two goons a� do you think it's the h�men?

We have to talk about men?

It's a subject more for girls.

�

This is fun.

Grow up, guys.

You spent ten minutes Speaking of your corks.

Why does the body of Would a woman be more disgusting?

Fair.

So ... what is a man?

OK. � ... a part of the girl who covers the vaginal area until she has sex.

Like a sealprotector.

"Don't consume yourself is open. "

My bad.

� This is what A lot of people think.

People think of the hymen as one of those paper banners of sporting events.

They think it covers the woman's vagina and when she has sex for the first time

he bursts.

- It seems correct. � Let's go play video games.

It won't, no.

This is all wrong. Think about it.

If our men completely sealed the vagina, where will our menstruation go? 372

� And how are you would they pee?

You know we don't urine through the vagina, right?

And yes through the urethra ... that It is a separate hole.

You are a pro- health teacher!

But from a police station I teach with little budget.

So ... how many holes in total?

The h�men is actually a track narrow and elastic around the vagina.

In most women, the h�men has a large enough opening 381

tampons, fingers and of course have it seen.

But it is not a barrier. � more like a ...

Balloon bow.

Yeah, but the man doesn't break from first time you have sex?

And doesn't it?

It need not be so.

It could be if you Don't be careful.

Putz. What the hell! I popped some balloons!

What the hell!

But it can also break during a stretch.

or doing any another thing.

Even so, men can heal themselvesand many do not even break.

One study found that 52% of sexually active teens

One study found that 52% of sexually active teens

had men intact.

Really?

- Yes.

H-I-M-E-N!

Men don't understand you!

Go, man!

The hymen you They know a myth.

OK, Emily. You are you sure about that?

Maybe you should Call an expert.

Yes good idea.

That's what I usually do.

EMILYWoman

How about this expert here?

Well put ... I have Feeling ashamed.

Our bodies don't come with virginity detectors coupled

and sex shouldn't hurt the first time,

but this horrible idea is in all part of our culture.

From ska bands ...

What a bad name.

Even famous TV shows.

So it's possible that Megan has not been raped.

So it's possible that Megan has not been raped. 418

H men intact.

She's a virgin.

Even the New York Times didn't get it right.

"... the man, the vaginal membrane that usually ruptures during the first sexual act" - 10/06/2008

The Times understands more about the Finnish domestic policy

than about the Feminine body.

Seriously, I think the worst part It is the word "Daddy".

Seriously, I think the worst partIt is the word "Daddy".

� Quite inappropriate.

The thing is much worse than what band names.

In some countries women are forced to prove to government officials

that your men are intact.

Otherwise they may be prevented from taking office,

to make accusations of rape

and even being thrown in jail.

It was bad, Adam.

I know this is the time when you usually use some special effect but -

Nevermind.

This is terrible.

Very, very bad.

�

and they don't even taste something because ...

H�MEN DON'T WORK THIS WAY!

From the physical point of view, virginity does not exist.

It's just something we invented to we can be cruel to women.

Just like the Entourage series.

Wow, I learned something. The feeling is great!

I feel even taller. Do I look taller?

My pleasure. But now It's time for you to leak.

Emily, I usually kind of doWhat a closure.

Nah Get out. Today is the day of cuddle and time is passing.

Clear.

Actually, I don't think I can have sex now.

Or forever.

I just keep thinking about how I have herpes and my dick looks weird

and apparently I don't know nothing about your body.

I feel like trash.

I know how you feel

I just talked about my for Adam by, I don't know ...

Five minutes.

I think I will blow.

Looks like you guys are witha little problem in bed.

Looks like you guys are with a little problem in bed.

Looks like you guys are with a little problem in bed.

Do you need my help?

- No. - Never.

In just a second, I'll tell you how solve the worst sexual problem of all.

You?

That hurt.

T qual what's the worst problem everyone's sexuality?

My bag is full of bees or something?

That would be cool, but to my knowledge not.

No. the problem that causes all the others.

Shame.

I don't haveshame on the sex.

I am super liberal.

I even bought one erotic toy.

Purchased?

Yes, but you never saw it. I hid in the basement ...

Maybe I have shame on the sex.

Yes, we all have. At least a little.

And that can make us treat each other in a horrible way,

like when we humiliate people for having harmless diseases.

Or do we change the genitals of babies for no reason.

Or do we teach teenage girls

that the first sexual experienceof them will be a nightmare.

Excuse. Was... it was my fault.

All these mistakes are caused by shame.

See the example from Kellog.

He defended circumcision because the masturbating scared him,

but this is crazy because We all masturbate.

- I don't swear to god. - I do not. For me you are enough, dear.

No, you do masturbate, yes.

And that's okay for each other that you guys do that, right?

And that's okay for each other that you guys do that, right? 495

So what for embarrass?

Masturbation is the way safer sex,

she releases a lot of healthy endorphins

and can even be used to treat sexual dysfunction.

This is all true.

Masturbation is good. You you should tell that to your students.

I should.

But I won't, because I would be fired.

It's a shame, because it's facts.

We need to stop doing this with ourselves.

No one should worrybecause it rings the bell,

or because you're a virgin,

or because you think learning Dark facts are highly erotic.

The shame is ruining our sex lives.

And we can't Let it go on.

My speech is it worked too well.

I find the exit alone.

What?

Hi Hayley! Did you know that aubergine Are you from the family of mulch?

Leaves and stem are toxic if you overeat.

In England she began to be consumed in the 16th century ...

In the next"Adam Ruins Everything" ...

Has anyone heard of vitamin megadoses?

I already, but also heard of fairies and they also do not help cure the cold.

Cool, may I resubmit my program now?

The part of the juice that makes badly sugar.

The part of the juice that it hurts sugar.

Sugar!

Health programs like this end telling lurid lies like this.

You lied to guys, Dr. Todd!

Wait a minute!

There is a solution to all this!

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