Original subtitles

[Music]

[Music]

pretty much ahead of shut up

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

he's God pleasure to chatter sweeter

please he's taken a day

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what's a few words the American people

just a moment Oreo I miss breakfast with

investment one chubby eight your majesty

sad to see you alive and well how we

fool them break it up get a move on

come on fellas get a move on my

securities I'll be safe they were turned

over to dr. Bullock what he said that is

your prime minister he has charge of

everything in my wouldn't trust that

crooked ah there he is

your majesty my securities where are

they don't worry everything is safely

deposited in my name we can't discuss

that here your majesty first we must get

rid of the press hmm this way please

[Applause]

over here another one here

Ontario please gentlemen no more

pictures

as you know His Majesty King shut off

has been through a bloody revolution I

hope therefore he would keep this

interview as brief as possible your

questions please understand you get away

with all the loot if you're referring to

what legally belongs to his majesty's

government documents were censored out

of the reach of revolutionary thieves

and cutthroats

where are they that question is of a

private nature and cannot be answered

you may answer they are safely deposited

in a bank in whose name that is also

over patent nature you may answer as

Prime Minister obvious Majesty's

Government and exiles they are in my

name until his majesty deems fit to have

them otherwise and I think I'd have them

otherwise I've become your majesty first

you must pass them the Immigration

Department any further questions Your

Majesty how about this controversy over

atomic energy ah ladies and gentlemen

that's how I lost my throne

I wanted atomic energy for domestic use

but my ministers wanted atomic bombs

nevertheless I have nuclear plans that

will

revolutionize modern life and bring

about a utopia undreamed on your majesty

if I might interrupt the immigration

officer is waiting I pick up on this way

sir

that will be all gentlemen it's your

right hand beep man II want to say a few

words the American people I am deeply

moved by a warm friendship and

hospitality this big-hearted nation has

already demonstrated its noble

generosity to those who come to seek a

refuge from tyranny thank you

here are the funds of the Treasury sir I

hope this will allow your suspicion you

should have said anxiety and saved a

spoof embarrassing

is this all I wasn't a Treasury and that

is all sir

no wonder we had a revolution the

predator books on the records they were

left behind with no time to salvage them

mmm I see so the funds of the Treasury

and my securities are deposited in the

First Nation that is right sir then

let's go there it's too late now your

majesty the banks are closed is that all

sir that's all dr. Bodell but make

yourself available at 10 o'clock

tomorrow morning that's when the banks

open up yes sir I didn't eat Tilly we

taking the funds of the treasure in I

don't know what I don't care but the

press accuse you of it

a king is accused of many things yummy

ate the Majesty you must remember

remember huh after what I've been

through I want to forget tonight I want

the light on the frivolous I want to see

the top stair is a steady Hashem yay if

you knew what it means to breathe this

free air this wonderful wonderful

America excuse-excuse its vitality the

glamor of it all new yo America

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Hey

[Music]

would you like to go

I got you I got you to step out or lose

when you do that rock'n'roll

I got pepper you got seams no jail is

enough side when the booth

[Music]

they're not well don't a question

[Music]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

she bit me please insane

Cicero isn't this rather close it's the

best we could get

[Music]

I've got to kill you honey it's for your

own good it's no use I our love has no

place in this world that isn't true we

can go to Denmark

[Music]

[Music]

get your weight ah this is more

agreeable not so noisy thank you very

much

what are you having I don't know

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

caveat

Oh

[Music]

caviar I think I have something else

ready just

[Music]

good morning mr. lizard America and all

the ships at sea this is a 10 o'clock

edition of the news King shed off the

throne monarch of Australia successfully

escaped his country with the front of

the Treasury arise in America King shed

off brings to the states of vast fortune

in his atomic plans in the hopes of

revolutionising modern life and bringing

about a utopia you next boom boom kicked

off last night to estate in a plane to

South America call up the bank I did

they said they're all securities and

uncertain withdrawn the day you arrived

sir it's Tolan everything then we should

expose him as a thief and a scoundrel no

use we have no records no legal claim

well bro Jim you you still have your

atomic plans blueprints it would be

difficult financing blueprints and to

think you're accused of absconded with

the funds of the Treasury it's just as

well I'd sooner be thought a successful

crook than a destitute Monica hello oh

very well

Her Majesty's arrived and is on her way

up I better go and receive her Oh show

me not a word to anyone that were broke

Your Majesty may I say that what small

fortune I have is entirely tor disposal

share me dear Jim you we can get

financed for these atomic plans we'll

have all the money that we want Irene

well tell me where did you arrive an

hour ago I flew in from Paris hello yes

so horrible isn't it

well at least I still have a head on my

shoulders how's your family very well

thank you

good are you staying long I'd like to

return to Paris as soon as possible very

well very well I won't keep you longer

than necessary after what's happened

that I think we ought to come to some

understanding Irene

we've always been fed good friends if

nothing more always been honest with

each other

and as you know our marriage was my

share of the state you are not happy

actually you're not being happy neither

was i I was the game for that Johnson we

are very much in love unfortunately not

with me

no neither was Devane it was the throne

and now the throne no longer exists you

want a divorce

I want you to be happy I'll do whatever

you wish I only wished when the hapless

years spent with me paper by no means

happy and let's call them years of a

friendly misalliance

cheer up at the audience much hide lie

still complicated

how dare it would be if it weren't hello

give me room service please room service

will you send up a menu good heavens

come here

telegram sir patient thought it was the

menu excuse me Oh

jelly from that Cromwell woman again

about dinner this evening they are

definitely not going definitely

[Music]

there's one thing we haven't discussed

alimony I just need it I'm quite rich

you know this from a lady about to get a

divorce

that's an incredible statement you

realize that today happens to be the

anniversary of our wedding

well you look happier now than you did

then wasn't bored I must be considering

we were on our honeymoon you weren't

exactly amusing you must have hated me

all the country I loved you how could I

thought you were too young to know your

own mind you were you haven't eaten a

thing I'm not hungry

let me order you something it thank you

I think about leaving you're returning

to Paris yes and you i'ma stay here why

money according to the press to have

million I shall leave them if I'm to put

through this atomic project excuse me

hello

there's a transatlantic Airways we're

holding reservations on the 535 Paris

that were matched the intent leaving

thank you her majesty intends leaving

yes

Oh Porter into the hot-water ticularly

money sense you carry your chocolates

with the new gow inside and those Vanel

movie magazines you're so fond of

allowing that thank you for London and

Paris check through gate

at you invited hey good care of yourself

don't forget your magazine write to me

if ever you need it

iris let me hear from you once in a

while

don't forget I

hello yes it's the trauma woman again

about energy the answer is no you won't

change your mind

I'm not accessible to strangers for the

price of a free dinner I'm sorry

His Majesty regrets he's unable to come

this evening who is this creature

a prominent hostess here publishes

several women's magazines and owns an

important television network well I have

neither aspirations to appear on

television or to write for women's

magazines we haven't come to that yet

besides I'm in no mood for dinner

parties

I am Majesty the Queen is departures etc

to parties to die a little a Magister

look tentatively 70 left you sure you

want this divorce I'm sure the Queen der

I'll swear sir she's beginning to love

wishful thinking surely wishful thinking

[Music]

[Music]

I wouldn't do I commit everything if I

could with someone that can me and

[Music]

finally my soul if I could too

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

did you say help help I'd better

telephone downstairs yeah hey I wish

you'd make up your mind wait a minute

[Music]

likes to cooperate

oh here you are poor you sir I am King

shut up

what happened I should can hurt my ankle

today this is thank you right I won't

hurt I have a green thumb

my name is Ann Kaye how do you do nicely

thank you I'm to meet you tonight at

Mona Cromwell's

I'm sorry I'm not going oh no everyone

will be so disappointed

really yes

hence the telephone are you box

well of course if you're going to be

there I might consider it good then I'll

telephone you're coming no not yet we've

hardly got acquainted but I must

telephone that one promo I'm sorry but

his Majesty is quite definite he's not

going hello honey

are you nervous bothered and I've said

take off your clothes relax with a

bottle of wit Reds beer it'll give you

pep and give you cheer remembers

Whitbread beer your majesty

it's that the system Cromwell woman

again or I've changed my mind we're

going I don't understand

nevertheless we'll go then you mind if I

stay home I'm rather tired of course if

you're tired of course

well there she is mom and well I got it

you thought mrs. tell me how did you do

it I've entered the place next to here

so now you're living in the wrist not on

your life through dangerous of the right

back in my own apartment tonight so

you're not a king in your program now

you just know it what sort of a guy is

dinner party they say he's very gay and

amusing if you're getting in the mood

and that up to you and you take over

here I've got holes so that hop in am i

[Music]

right I've been looking for you already

who's watching below the dark paper you

telephone the bus of the poem taking

arrives hardly a friend yeah what's all

this business about the curtain seeing

to the king

why of course have you ever been

presented at court only for speed don't

let him kid you bill just do it the

ladies do oh and another thing you don't

sit before he does well after 36 holes

of golf obeisance quick me too with my

swollen knee cap well here the chance

the city for he gets here Blue is

Majesties King shuttle

now I present miss Ann Kaye how do you

do we have met before

this is wrong Howser mr. bill John never

lose any of it yeah where's Hank

that's it Hank how goes it all lined up

to television what's the routine I'll do

the deodorant at first and I'll see if I

can entertain going just keep grinding

I'll give you two buttons to start your

commercials okay that by the bay is that

an El Greco oh no sir he's a Filipino I

mean the picture opposite well I'm not

sure my wife bought it at an auction

sale indeed would your Majesty care to

sit down

thank you

Your Majesty is served don't you big

mishap a very attractive there is a

little I've seen us

head of your help how is your angle much

better thank you sir

well if it gives you any further trouble

just knock on my door exactly I hope for

the world if you want to see me suffer I

want to see more of you I find it close

in here it could be closer and the

atmosphere quite stuffy it's anything

but dead how fortunate that people no

longer consider the problem of

perspiring in stuffy rooms a vagabond

feet of pretty young girls being

unpopular at dances and they don't know

why I don't follow you the answer is Bo

Bo body odor but now that can be

eliminated because there is such a thing

as fresh that wonderful soothing

alluring deodorant that keeps underarms

dry remember your lovely to be near only

when underarms stay dry that's why

lovely women use it remember keep fresh

be fresh with fresh deodorant

who is this young lady I find that very

odd she's a brilliant anti-aging

specialist better she sadly has it on

the brain do you usually go off the deep

end this way you think I'm crazy

I know sir and I know that your Majesty

is a wonderful actor and that you will

played Hamlet

well I've dabbled in privacy excellence

I'd give anything to see your hand

maybe you will one night why not tonight

okay a private performance to be or not

to be Wow you mean here why not

so I'll get everyone fired

ladies and gentlemen we are privileged

to witness a great historic moment

His Majesty king shahdov has graciously

consented to give us Hamlet's to be or

not to be well there are many ways of

playing the soliloquy of a hamlet

there's the pale thoughtful anemic

prince and there's the mad bombastic one

which do you prefer anything below nimac

very well to be or not to be that is the

question whether tis nobler in the mind

to suffer the slings and arrows of

outrageous fortune or to take arms

against a sea of troubles and by

opposing end them to die to Sleep No

More but I see to say we end the

thousand natural shocks that flesh is

heir to tis a consummation devoutly to

be wished to die to sleep perchance to

dream there's the rub

but who would bear the whips and scorns

of time the oppressors wrong the proud

man's contumely the pangs of despised

love the laws delay the insolence of

office and the spurns that patient merit

of the unworthy takes when he himself

might his Quietus take who with a bare

bodkin

but who would fathers better swear to

good on Turner a weary life but that the

dread of something after death that

undiscovered country from whose Bourn no

traveler returns puzzles the will and

makes us rather bear those ills we have

than fly to others that we know not of

that's I forgot me oh no please don't I

know sorry

you have just heard a recital of Hamlet

by His Majesty King shadow will now

return you to an kaise real-life

surprise party after station

identification this is station kxb a how

can I thank you

what a privilege what came you like it

oh that you have such powers it's

angered what a success you'd be as an

actor but actors need more than genius

to succeed yes

they need good sound teeth naturally

have you the assurance to speak and face

others without danger of being repellent

there you go again

how can an actor play opposite a lovely

leading lady if she's uncertain but with

oxy tone toothpaste he has confidence

and control for oxy tone toothpaste is

the breath of fat oxy tone will arrest

decay remove yellow film and restore

teeth to a beautiful whiteness you'll

never regret you'll never break if you

use oxy don't toothpaste you know you're

giving me a terrific complex okay Haley

I thought you were crazy but now I'm

positive

but I thought you liked crazy people yes

but how can you suddenly Brown show up

into toothpaste

well it must be an association of ideas

tomorrow I go to my dentist

how boring most boring you know you

really are funny you think says I was

tell you something I said don't you want

me all ears oh yes can't we join in the

conversation well we were discussing

dental you know what I love about them

is that when you are helpless with your

mouth full of instruments they they

answer the telephone yes for example you

mind and not at all just do it just to

illustrate you see for you open your

mouth please thank you so when you're in

this position terribly difficult

feech like a great fight for the last

hour and a half you have been

entertained by King shadows on auntie's

real-life surprise party this is station

kxp a Sharia Stila I hadn't slept a wink

indeed your majesty after your positive

reviews will to appear on television to

see reciting ended putting knives in

sugar tongs down that wretched woman's

throat are you mad off daughter soil

majors dickhead sire you saw me on

television it's also insane I'm an idiot

I saw something peculiar was going on

they must have had hidden cameras what

do you mean I knew nothing about it

outrageous 200 images let's get out here

it's rather late to register I can't

sleep put on your clothes we go to a

nightclub

we should return to Europe don't be

absurd we need many after what's

happened no businessman will take you

seriously why your majesty a king

playing Hamlet on television don't

question your sanity I suppose chasing a

golf all over the countryside just to

put it in the holy thing but I prefer

him little golf

we're ruined Thomas from Oh Oh your

majesty

we are congratulate you sir my wife no

saw you on television my face want to

say you certainly are a man of talent

sir and may I say those are a true

Democrat thank you that huh I like to

shake hands with my wife honey

this is His Majesty okay pardon me King

what is your last name shut up that's it

King shot oh how do you do

could I have your autograph for my

little boy yes Michael you I only have a

Kleenex

a pen no I don't have a piece well honey

how do you expect man to ride behavior

painting I sure hope it doesn't ruin

your pants okay sorry can I have your

autograph please

[Music]

like well you let us have the details

more mail sir take him in the nation

hello that Jericho has been ringing

continuously for a week now we haven't

had a moment's peace let you know in due

course that was the Juniper eyewash

company to know if you're next at $5,000

to tell on that program Juniper hot I

wash and he has an offer from Kings

lager beer company the answer is no

Kings lager beer hello

they'll allow things in the next row

come in come in your majesty

my name is Johnson advertising

representative crowd cheese company to

the point for two words that will not

take more than 40 seconds of your time

crown cheese will give you $10,000 to

appear on television all you have to do

is spread crown cheese on a piece of

toast take a bite say young young and

$10,000 yours

Jerry show this gentleman to the door

are you crazy

ten thousand bucks for two words you

don't even have to memorize them they'll

be up there on a blackboard yum yum this

way sir yeah hello is that creature who

was with you on television

miss Ann Kaye never come up till this NK

to come up the audacity of that woman to

come here after what happened last week

I am majesty is a changing world

different values so it seems yam yam

that's worth $10,000

[Music]

oh good morning yeah come in

congratulations your majesty you've

electrified the whole country thanks to

your peculiar ideas of hospitality

they're not mine your majesty what do

you want mrs. Cromwell asked me to

deliver this I believe there's a chick

inside $20,000 right so this will save

me the trouble of returning it to her

I'm sorry you're angry I'm sure my anger

means nothing to you miss Kay neither

does my contempt good morning

[Music]

that is a quick interval yeah zoom you

put this in the waste paper basket at

twelve o'clock your majesty Oh to visit

a progressive boy school okay I think it

good policy after that orphan television

massage have you heard from the atomic

Commission not a word

I still have owned them every day for a

week now but can't get through well if

we don't hear from them some of these

offers may be worthwhile oh we haven't

come to that yet do you realize you

don't have a check for $20,000 yes from

that Cromwell woman good bye bye what is

our bank balance well nine hundred and

twelve dollars to be exact what get some

sticking faster call up this is crumble

and thank her for the checks Shirley

honest accepting it bird in the hand

maybe a fellow but your Majesties honor

your pride pride if King has no false

pride collar up its 11 print your

majesty if you're going to the

progressive school you better hurry

undress call up mrs. Cromwell here he is

now your majesty just a moment thank you

ah welcome your majesty how do you do

this is my ambassador how you do yes ah

well young man you majesty we're not

officially open yet but I thought you'd

like to see the exhibition quietly and

then review the children afterwards I

see your majesty

well I do hope you don't mind these

press photographers were the curses of

the 20th century I'm afraid dear

I'm sorry gentlemen that that will have

to be all I'm very sorry that is the

last time thank you I hope you don't

mind the press photographers Your

Majesty after all a royal TV star is

quite an attraction may I explain to

your Majesty something of what we're

trying to do a progressive school

strives to develop the child's

individuality to give him full rein to

express his feelings and desires on the

theory that individuality and genius are

cognate interesting we encourage these

little people to run their

affair some prefer the fine arts others

the occupational craft this young

gentleman wishes to present you with a

sample of his art we're good okay Oh Oh

like this for you real quick

[Music]

we believe the seeds of genius are in

all children therefore we strive to

develop their instincts to encourage

their impulses

here is an ambitious young sculptor ah

what's that you're making vaguely

interesting nothing interesting about a

sigelei open frank uninhibited that's

what we encourage

[Music]

this way your majesty and here is our

[Music]

and this young man specializes in

Viennese pastry the system of our little

friends handicraft oh and these are

exactly the same as the ones he's been

making just now would you like to taste

one and here you magically have an

infant phenomena remarkable child of 10

he's quite a historian editor of our

school magazine very interesting this

Your Majesty is Rupert our young editor

how do you do Rupert thank you tada and

what's that you're reading he'll mark

surely you're not a communist I have to

be a communist to read Karl Marx go back

that's a valid answer well if you're not

a communist what are you nothing nothing

I just like all forms of government

somebody's rule and I don't like the

word rule well if we don't like the word

rule let's call it leadership leadership

and government is political power and

political power is an official form of

antagonizing the people what magazine

did you say he had it's a commentary on

current events

but idea young man politics on this is

so me

politics are rolled and posed upon the

people in this country rules are not

imposed they are the wish of all free

citizens coming around a bit video feel

free they are yes but you didn't let me

finish they have every nun in a

straitjacket and without a passport he

can't move a toe but if you'll allow me

to enter free world a violates the

natural rights of every citizen but you

don't let me fool they have become the

weapons of political despot yes but my

god if you don't think if they say

you're deprived of your passport for you

along with only the country is like

breaking out of jail yes and your winter

a country is like going through the eye

of a needle but come I free to travel of

course you're free to travel only with

the passport when you allow me to say

only with the past boy do animals need

Passport

have you finished it's in Congress that

in this Atomic Age your speed we are

and shut off my passport if

you'll shut up and let somebody else

talk and free speech does that exist no

you've got it all and free enterprise we

were talking of possible today it's all

monopolies all right now when I go into

the automobile business and compete with

the other dress if I can get in a word

not a chance

can I go into the grocery business and

compete with the chain stores will you

shut up let a chance monopoly is the

minutes of free enterprise as I look

back six years ago where were you 60

years ago very well now

have you finished now let me say

something let me tell you how wrong you

are in the first place in the first

place

now I forgotten what I wanted to say and

the atomic bomb ah it's a crime that

when the world cries for atomic energy

you want to make atomic bombs me file

against atomic bombs you under wipe out

civilization destroyed away from this

planet

I lost my sonic problem you own your

currency an atomic bomb can solve your

problems this new little right today man

has too much power the Roman Empire

collapsed with the assassination of

Caesar and why if you because of too

much power

journalism blew up with the French

Revolution and why because of too much

power and today the whole world will

blow up and why they draws up so much

power the monopoly of power administer

freedom it's a great tool and where is

the individual I don't know no stinker

because you'd make up eight instead of

love its civilization to the very we

come back as hours until the Aegean Sea

[Laughter]

[Applause]

any news no sir nothing from the atomic

Commission knocked over words I wrote

them again last week but have had no

reply strange no news no social

invitation I believe there's a boycott

why it could be something you said I

remember on your arrival your interview

with the press I thought was rather

political political when you mentioned

that your atomic plans would

revolutionize modern life and bring

about a utopia what's wrong with that

well at the moment everyone's in such a

state of hysteria that such talk as

utopia terrify them I've never heard

such nonsense what's that AHA might be

news from the atomic Commission no it's

the hotel bill I know the envelope I

sent it up five times already how much

do we owe them $11,000

isn't that exorbitant well we've been

here six weeks it also includes 3,000 to

Penn in cash how much we live not a

penny sir too bad with in acceptors the

TV offers I think we should move to a

cheaper hotel you know it's quite

comfortable here

but the atmosphere is becoming frigid

even the waiters are getting rude I've

been trying to get one for the last 10

minutes yes sir

would you like some lunch sir or

something simple caviar toast and onions

caviar yes a large-size tin of it and

chop the onions very fine say feels

yummy

thank you your majesty I'll take a ham

sandwich and a glass of beer

Oh instant vodka on ice your majesty

what's the meaning of this pardon me sir

Your Majesty I just got to talk to you

please please listen first and if you

don't like it then throw me out bill you

emergency I never take no for an answer

to the point I have a check for $50,000

from the royal crown whiskey company now

I know you don't need the doll wait be

seated miss Kay

Johnson thank you sir thank you sir

imagine see here's the proposition you

are on television seated in a beautiful

baronial Hall but report you a glass of

royal crown whiskey and with that

natural majestic charm of yours you say

a few words and drink it I am to

advertise whiskey

I know it's beneath your dignity your

majesty but there's $50,000 in there you

don't want the money you can give it a

charity say that's a picture of an idea

that charity angle will advertise it on

all the papers give it a big spread I I

don't think it becomes his majesty to

advertise you skeletal donations

personally I think it's most distasteful

okay King you're the doctor about the

payment of this money when I'm signing

the contract

Jim you attend to that matter at once

yes that's a deal

great second bow on the studios get a

month we want pictures lots for dignity

say you haven't got your crown with you

have you under no circumstances will I

wear my crown okay Ken you're the doctor

[Music]

a little to the right imagining man you

get rolling your eyes to one side how

can you face

now one without all of it thing upper

doesn't go

[Music]

you know you're really photogenic you

still want to begin here but I mean you

fooled me once you know and you've never

forgiven me you're nothing but a

delusional a snare I'm not really yeah

this is my friend you're not everyone so

macho

oh yes yes what is it

what is it have it do you want the large

colored plate oh sweet one and the large

ones it no no you better stay here go

ahead get the large side she's gone I

want you to look handsome honey

he's ready oh good all right let's have

one more rehearsal

now remember can give it that majestic

stuff

you ready butter yes your royal crown

whiskey sir thank you mere ruse royal

crown whiskey I always enjoyed I know

it's a your gracious Majesty is never

without it I don't like that last line

you're right it's insinuating it might

get a laugh cut that last line from your

line for you King ah thank you mirrors

royal crown whiskey I always enjoy I

know it sir that too can get a lot don't

I precise it is likely I know it say

again please

thank you mirrors royal crown whiskey I

always enjoy oh and know it sir cut it

out entirely just nod your health no

rules

what a flavor so strong yet so mild so

caressing as it slips down the Prout

then comes that warm afterglow that

energizes Nick soothes goodwill that's

why I like royal crown whiskey how's

that great that's it

I wish everybody wait for my king your

royal crown whiskey don't thank you

mirrors royal crown whiskey I always

enjoy your health Melrose

thank you sir to go Oh way down the

wrong horse

what the fiasco what started the

coughing whiskey never tasted such

beastly stuff in my life no civilized

country we drink wine

another beautiful man while I'm choking

to death threatens to fuming oh well

there's one consolation

we've got there $50,000 you've cashed

the check I hope oh yes hello

it's the K woman again ever come up will

you sing miss Kay uh please wonder what

she wants the money back I suppose

oh no this girl's rather decent they're

all decent real money's involved not in

this case skills trying to help

what's an interest in you I'd rather not

discuss it you might be shocked or

agreeably surprised we're here we got

rolling shallow Imperial to back your

lips and ski they're all hot you can

write your own ticket

III don't understand neither does anyone

but it doesn't say

can I smash it everyone's talking about

it talking about what the dart cars it's

the biggest laugh on television they all

figured it was deliberate the sponsor

thinks it's the most original idea

you've ever had

they're going to give it another

nationwide hookup hiko and that means

you can get another 20,000 extra it's

all very big wildering I don't

understand it

[Music]

what's wrong if you were to advertise

hormones you have to look young I think

we'd better advertise something else of

course not this is a very important

contract smile no no don't do that

Tichina I know all this flabby business

here what plastic surgery could do for

you oh all that flabby business could be

eliminated

including the wattles modulus the

bagging dish then yes under the eyes you

just don't like me do you

nonsense the little list here and there

and you could look quite young for

instance all this can be pulled back

behind the ears and eliminated same with

a nose I don't think I want my nose

eliminated no silly but it could be

improved it should be raised a little my

nose you'd be surprised the useful

effect it'll give you don't like this oh

don't be silly don't be shy and pull it

back all back tight how a young New York

that's what I'm strangling to death but

what a difference of course it

accentuates a small chin but that can be

built up with paraffin Oh horrible or if

you don't like paraffin you can have

skin grafting from another part of your

body don't let's go into that but you've

got to look attractive for television so

you don't think I'm attractive huh I

think you're beautiful now to business

now let's have a real big smile no no

that's too much it shows the receding

gums look at that two can be fixed from

another part of my body I suppose well

be the bride I'd rather not think about

it okay I've got an idea

the before an actor effect of taking

hormones we'll take a picture now with

everything sagging and then we'll take

another one when you had your face

lifted I promise you I can get you

another

a thousand extra I'll have to think it

over nothing not a stitch showing good

just like a llama shop no can I take a

look yes then yesterday you can present

yourself to everybody

haha Thanks good heavens what's that

it's bound to shock you at first sir but

you'll get used to it

not that face never you don't like it

what have you done to my nose it's all

there so we've just raised it slightly

but the lip I think it's cute you like

it you look 20 years younger of course

for a while you must be careful not to

stretch anything snow fear of that at

least until everything's healed

oh the profile it's very collegiate

who is it lies what is it your face what

have they done to it you don't like it

unless they've shortened it too much

this is a fine time to tell me you can't

appear on television like that I knew it

I knew it

that's taking off too much why is it

don't get excited if I can put back your

lip how from another part of my body I

suppose no no it can be lowered by

knitting a pleat doubted it what do you

think my face is the skirt smile that

isn't smiling but I have to be careful

not to stretch anything you don't have

to be that careful oh yes I do it's all

we talked up behind years well that

shouldn't bother you laughs my dear that

isn't laughing laughs naturally see

nothing naturally that isn't natural

what you're doing now you make to be

self-conscious laugh freely don't be

afraid I'm not afraid

haha size is very little to laugh at

heck there's nothing to laugh at

show me good evening miss Kay oh oh no

it's complete Earth frankly I'm

beginning to like it I'm sorry sighs was

the first shot seeing you evidently you

don't like it I suppose I'll get used to

it but I won't

it's all very depressing don't be

depressed we'll go out tonight that'll

cheer you up

nothing will cheer oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

when I are you Ming Lee I can't even

drink from a scroll

don't worry you can use do it I'm amazed

oh my legs

oops I'm so depressed stop thinking

about yourself so comedians on lipstick

very funny I mean you move for anything

funny how do you do it

guys the doctor said I'm not enough I

might spit something

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

oh come on baby

what it's all flipped no liver no sir

now scar good to all my own original

face every bit of it that this isn't

from another part of my body I hope no

sir

I even like my wattles what do you think

frankly I like the other face

well I don't to me it was more youthful

what do you think cute cute ten years

younger

thank you send a bill to the hotel I'll

do that so I my overcoat it'll be in the

waiting room set

[Music]

hi Jen

[Music]

don't you remember me say I do the most

obnoxious Brett I've ever met that's too

bad but I don't feel that way about you

oh you don't we might have barred you

barely but our drop was stimulating what

are you doing out in this weather

Oh taking a vacation you look it why

aren't you at school who graduated why

you're shivering and blue you close a

sopping wet don't worry I'm okay here

you better come along with me don't give

me over to the cops

of course not sir promise come along

before you get your typical this way boy

this way first thing is to take off your

wet clothes and get into a hot bath

before you catch pneumonia

hello straighforward here I don't

through in the bar this way

sit down this get your clothes off

are you hungry

good Giorgione or some hot soup in

chicken sandwiches one yes room service

please

we'd like some hot soup and chicken

sandwiches for what yes thank you

but Your Majesty I don't understand this

is a bread I told you about obnoxious

offenses but a genius but Your Majesty I

still don't know what it's all about

neither do I but I intend to find out

stop telling young man when you're you

taking bath probably that's the idea are

you getting this

now he won't yes

teaching young man about the truth how

is joining this condition I ran away

from school why they want to question me

what about my folks what a be done

nothing but maintain your constitutional

right has only any red-blooded American

would do your nephew nothing up see the

moment you put him in a hot bath he gets

very blooded your majesty

may I have a word with you alone all

right how you out of that bark and put

on these things and come into the next

room well Your Majesty what you're going

to do with this boy let him stay here

till it's closed a driver broadcast in

20 minutes you cannot leave him alone

here why he's run away from school

experence ring trouble it's quite

obvious what they are communist so what

but you cannot afford to be involved in

such a situation should the boy freeze

to death just because his parents are

communists Shh

what did they are communists are we to

send him into the street in his wet

clothes

at least we can wait till they're dry

you show me what are you looking for

you've been here too long

next thing you'll be saying the boy is a

communist too sure of anyone shabby

[Music]

he is swell sit in that chair my food

will be here in a moment

now tell me are you a communist

yes sir I am I thought you disliked all

forms of government I do I'm so sick and

tired of people asking me if I'm fit to

find that so then if it pleases

everybody I'm a communist boy bring that

chair up to the table I'm serving Jesus

now is it time to check your name hello

hello it is Majesty King shut up there

no he's gone out

have you any idea when he'll return he

left an hour ago he should be back any

moment

I drew you're welcome telegram for His

Majesty hey Jimmy

hey the strange kid in that apartment I

never seen him before

do you son me who are you alright my

house detective what are you doing here

my kid waiting for who my uncle your

uncle

hi uncle she's a house detective oh

pardon me sir I didn't realize the young

man was your nephew just checking up

quite that excuse me my whip your

highness I'm sorry sir explicit well he

came in and wanted to know what I was

doing he when he said he was his cuff I

got

Gared so I said I was waiting for my

uncle and then you came in why pick on

me for your uncle

you are the only one around thank you

well whether it seems to be clearing up

so I think our young face will be on his

way meet their Prince Rupert what in

telling the house to take it that I'm

his uncle I knew something like this at

heaven I'm sorry

I'll go don't be foolish your clothes

are still wet show me you'd better buy

him some new ones hello

yes three gentlemen from where the

atomic Commission hello I can't hear

they're leaving Washington today they're

on their way

hello hello hello

we're cut off they said they were either

leaving today

or they're on their way it was bad

connection well if they're on away we'd

better go down to the bank and get the

plan you're right it requires both our

signatures hold the boy we're discussing

avoid we're getting too close all the

way good then we were rid of him

of course he be gone hours before they

get there just in time

[Music]

I'm sure his Majesty's in he was a

moment ago this way gentlemen please

kindly be seated

good afternoon is His Majesty in just

left

I believe I'm addressing the Kings

nephew am I not yeah I thought so that's

what I just heard like Kings last year

well indeed this is an unexpected

pleasure

had you any idea so when His Majesty was

returned he said he was just going to

the bank to get some plans then we'll

wait and I leave you gentlemen with His

Royal Highness yes highness this your

first visit to our country

oh no I've been here long time

practically all my life is that so

sounds like a real American voice your

does you go to school here yeah I'm

Brooklyn Brooklyn so your daddy wants

you to have an American education well

you see my father don't believe in this

King business

so he changed his name and came to live

in Brooklyn that's where I met my mother

she didn't know it was a prince she just

thought it was an honorarium agreement

but she loved him so she married him

that's how I was born that's how the

King became my uncle but my uncle don't

speak to my father because they always

argue in quarrel at one time they were

going to fight did you that's why my

father came to America to give air and

sunlight to his thoughts the land of the

free in the home of the brave was his

inspiration but today that freedom is

threatened committees are searching

men's minds are controlling their

thoughts and those who have the courage

to stand up for their rights are

boycotted loser

jobs an hour left to starve say what the

Dare can get without trial look here

young men such procedure Dean Baker the

legality of our courts what says that no

state may deprive any person of life may

be needs freedom of speech without due

process of law

this will about 15 note you think put

this with the other things yes sir

rather fun what we should hurry Your

Majesty we don't want the Commission to

arrive while that boys there yes hurry

up please

endless our wages these investigations

are unnecessary when our security is

threatened the hydrogen bomb you have no

security

why that's communist talk only with

world cooperation and understanding are

we secured if you were older sir I'd

report you relay authorities all right

report me make me give names make us

sniveling stop bitching out of me

brainwash me but you can't they couldn't

bring watch the signers of the

Declaration of Independence and you

can't brainwash me nobody wants to

brainwash you you know excuse me

gentlemen I just I'm sorry gentlemen for

this and alternate attacks hit well tell

me whatever started the argument I don't

know I just can't go in and I can't stop

you think too much I can't host you

should play more what can i play with

twenty friends boys your own age

stay for me why all I think about it

Superman cowboys what's the matter with

it I hate you hate a lot of things don't

you I don't thank you

nevertheless you must return to your

school you can't stay here

especially as Prince Rupert I had to

tell those gentlemen the truth you're

gonna tell them my name I don't know

your name yes you do Rupert Rupert swap

Makani Maccabi Scott now wonder you're a

nonconformist stretch your move there's

no other move very well huh sit them up

with me again

where's mr. Zhang Yi he went down to the

bang for the plans for the gentlemen

interested no they say they have similar

plans of their own good afternoon this

is another televised recording of the

investigations of the Congressional

Committee on on American activities

going on in the Federal Building

downtown New York City these

investigations are to expose communism

in all batches of our American

institutions the committee has already

questioned scientists educators

churchmen writers and actors but first a

glimpse of the humorous side

the investigators indulge in a hollywood

touch to make themselves photogenic

before appearing on television and now

for a more serious aspect the actual

investigation in progress the Chairman

is questioning a witness raise your

right hand

juice for it till the truth the whole

truth and nothing but the truth I do

state your name please

James jacket professions school teacher

mr. Duncan will you ever a member of the

Communist Party

I was said I joined the Communist Party

in 1940 resigned in 1950 in 1940 did you

meet mr. mrs. Maccabee schoolteachers I

did sir mr. mrs. Maccabee stand up

please take a look at this man and woman

either the same mega beans as you met in

1940 they all serve to the best of your

recollection were they at that time

members of the Communist Party they were

sir that's all mr. chicken mr. McAfee

will now take a witness stand on the

witness stand Maccabee admitted he had

been a communist but stated that he had

resigned to the party five years ago

when has to give information about other

party members Maccabi refused to answer

mr. mcavee if you do not answer you will

be charged with going to tell I will

answer any questions concerning myself

but is against my conscience to give

names or to inform on other people

there's committee sites witness for

contempt of Congress promote him and I

charge this committee with fomenting a

cold civil war and hatin James MacCabe

now faces contempt charges if convicted

he will receive a minimum sentence of

one year on each charge ax PA now

returns you to popular music from the

hit parade

[Music]

and everybody what you like do staying

away from school on coke now supposing I

take you back in my car and tomorrow

I'll come to visit you you promise I

promise

[Music]

my name is Oryx a United States Marshal

how can I do for you I'm looking for

Rupert McAfee sir come in thank you sir

so they are but it's muscle nothing at

all sir he's just missing from school

that's all and I've come to take him

back supposing I saved you the trouble

and taking back myself I'd like to

oblige sir but we have our honour would

you like me to come along I'll be okay

sure you will we're not gonna eat him

remember what you promised I do I'll be

along tomorrow all right son

let's go Paul just a minute

here's the list of your apparel

here's your overcoat I'll take a rest

sir oh thank you yeah thank you sir

all right Sam thanks for everything

very well let's line up for the news mr.

mrs. Maccabee have just decided for

contempt of Congress who cares about

schoolteachers and their 10 year old son

who's been missing has just been found

it's not gonna set the world on fire it

hears picked up in King Chad a suite at

the Ritz Hotel wait a minute yeah we got

something there

sure will that be all sir some hot water

sorry sir

I have a strange feeling I'm being

followed

it's your imagination I hope so first

the boy is gone good a United States

Marshal call for him here yes here sit

down and have some tea dear dear dear I

wish this hadn't happened why to be

arrested here wasn't arrested the

newspapers will make an ugly story of it

preposterous what do they know they know

everything I may be listening now you're

being slightly hysterical so clear you

see I've made a complete ass of myself -

sorry sir I'm not an alarmist but the

newspapers ever found out that boy was

here what time is it five o'clock

turn on the radio we're just in time for

the news

good afternoon mr. and mrs. America and

all the ships at sea Rupert Maccabee

some of mr. and mrs. James Maccabee

school teachers charged with contempt of

Congress was picked up today at the Ritz

Hotel where he has been hiding since the

disappearance sensational developments

it's a boy service will involve any

thrown monarch said to be in the pay of

communists latest developments have

uncovered the most fantastic

international atomic spy ring ever

conceived this reporter in cooperation

with our secret agents are following

clues that will eventually bring these

foreign conspirators to justice how long

mr. and mrs. America are lookin to you

welcoming these foreign conspirators

Billy for where are we Royal Communist

expression is a reductio ad absurdum

Julia you're nervous let me do that

little Polly no no no no

Joshua gotta know what you're doing

sugar such a cheater to me tell me him

we'd better call up Green the lawyer

[Music]

pasa sings well create

[Music]

hello ap dreams law office mr. green

just a moment please this majesty wants

to speak mr. green ear on the phone

stand outside

[Music]

hello mrs. King shut up talking oh don't

say too much over the phone and you've

heard the news

yes she better come up to the office

right away you may see be careful not to

be shy weather papers hey I don't want

you to be subpoenaed or someone said

you've seen me I know I'm asleep right

away very well

Coast clear you still there I might try

the fire escape at well I have an idea

you wear my I'll wear yours he'll follow

me and think I'm you and that will give

you a chance to get away

wait a moment I'm all confused Who am I

you're me and I knew we just exchanged

hat very good yeah

do I look like that who is it

open the door did you hear that

broadcast yes we're on our way to see a

lawyer

that makes my American blood boil the

man outside waiting to subpoena me don't

worry about that I'll take care of him

can come out first hold him in

conversation then you can make you get

away good go ahead oh hello well if it

isn't Harry my name's not Harry what is

it Irving Oh course

Irving well how are you I don't know you

don't be silly take off your glasses

Hey

[Music]

stop just a minute can I have your

autograph please

all right put out yeah

one was inside this one alright like to

thank Majesty King shot off yeah alright

hey well that's okay you can keep that

[Music]

don't be afraid son there's nothing to

fear we're here to ask you to help your

parents only want is the names of some

of their friends if you give us this

information we'll do all we can to help

your parents or your majesty fresh and

foremost you must stand on your rights

and demand immunity and the ground of

your royal prerogative immunity from

what that I don't know but I intend to

find out but if they put the $64

question to you as to if you are or ever

have been a communist then again you

will stand on your royal prerogative but

that question is absurd there are many

things observed these days your MacBook

Minister 10 you must not be late on the

hallways for contempt please Your

Majesty we must hurry

[Music]

this is the expression oh wait I forgot

my briefcase you go ahead don't wait for

me alcohol is actually you mustn't be

late

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

Hey

main floor everybody else what well I'm

in a bit of a fix here why don't you can

please stop what I say in the first

place

snide business wait a minute don't you

know you're not supposed to play with a

fire hose

come on try to get you loose pick your

foot up and no I guess we're gonna have

to let a little more down put your pet

chill here give me your arm try and

bring me on ha ha

this way my Kings inappropriate give me

the case would you sure you're just in

time

how are you doing nope no look you have

to give me the nozzle I can't give you

the nozzle my fingers in high school you

know in my peers oh my dear man you'll

be ok do your honor

you're in charge of it you do it oh you

better figure it out by yourself I gotta

run the elevator

goodbye brother

I don't ago thank you ah what happened

too complicated to explain caught his

fingers well go to Austin I can't take

it off peppers are going to be late

can't you turn are you not from no don't

belong back here let me loosen it

hey I got this I wish you to solve that

problem yet oh here we go again you

gonna have to take another ride just a

minute please

I can't wait well then we'll take the

hose worst yeah you can't do that the

Poloncarz plant apartment well what are

you specs for the rile up and down all

day

where's your car you say to piñas I

forgot actually yeah that's don't let

them give me contempt whatever you do

don't your consent I want you to

convince Igor shot out of this probiem

yes

raise your right hand whistles truth the

whole truth and nothing but the truth

hey what's it it's a fire

tell me along quick what is this nun I'm

sorry I had my finger stuck in a fire

hose I have to bring it with me

[Applause]

committee sizes witness for contempt of

Congress that's millions for tonight on

your

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

hello oh thank you all these will claim

they have the plane the chance to go by

free miss Kay is on her web remember so

you haven't much time if we want to

visit that boy good morning

I've come to say goodbye I'd have come

to the airport but I've got a broadcast

in half an hour

well who who gave you this I think your

party

Oh Amy will you go downstairs and pay

the bill it's already paid you're

interested then paid again of course it

isn't

honey oh I hate to see you go why don't

you stay it's too crazy you don't catch

by what's going on today it's just a

passing phase very soon it'll all be

over

quite so in the meantime I'll sit it out

in Europe but that committee Affairs

made you the most popular man in America

from now on you can write your own

ticket I've bought it Oh back to the

continent telegram sir thank you no it's

all right sir everything's been looked

after excuse me

huh the Queen she's decided not to get a

divorce

well aren't you happy I don't know maybe

wish Paris then why don't you stay and

have her over hmm with you around oh

honey you know we don't mean that much

to each other there you go giving me

another complex hello you must leave

immediately serve your visit that boy

school very well goodbye take care of

yourself you know and I'm very very

positive I'm gonna miss you

I were only twenty years younger

uh uh you better get back to your queen

come on gonna be late don't forget your

hat Oh

[Applause]

Suellen ha

how would you do how do you do that

won't you sit down Thank You mr.

ambassador hey will you have the boy

brought in thank you how is the little

fellow well he's been through quite an

ordeal for a little chap but he's doing

better now since his parents are out of

jail I thought they were sentenced for

two years they were but the committee

recommended the suspended sentence so

now they're free indeed and they can

thank the boy for that the parents were

foolish stubborn and we're protecting

others fortunately the boy cooperated

cooperated it's been a happy solution

all around I see

here he is Ruben there's someone here to

see you

hello Ruby

produce toys one or two things that I

thought might amuse you

[Music]

Wow

it looks pretty good don't you think of

course we still have our moves and

doubts don't be moving

and I keep telling him he has nothing to

worry about we consider Rupert a hero

and a real patriot we're all very proud

of them here

[Music]

how is comm blooper that if I thought we

were all over this

[Music]

cheer up Luke and all this hysteria is

over and I'm you and your family come

and visit me you project I promise

for a little fellow I think the trip

would do him good but of course there

are complications well let's hope there

soon be over

I hope so too sir we all hope there's

nothing to worry about

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

you