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This programme contains
strong language
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Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
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♪ She's Mrs Brown
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♪ That's Mrs Brown
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♪ Our Mrs Brown. ♪
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Come along, Granddad. Hello?
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All right, Granddad,
you take your time now.
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Are you too warm?
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Yes.
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Right then, let's get this jacket
and jumper off.
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Ah, that's better!
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Na!
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Morning Mrs Brown.
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Good morning, Lord.
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Are you all right?
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Just struggling a bit!
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Lift your left arm. A bit more.
That's it. Now lean forward.
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Now the other arm.
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Lean forward a bit more.
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Did you want something, Lord?
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No, just bringing Granddad home.
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Well, it's about fecking time.
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I mean, the Lord's will be done.
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I'll be with YOU in a minute!
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But I-I've barely lived.
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Show a shred of human decency!
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Mammy?
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Don't interrupt the fecking picture!
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Please, please, let me stay a little
longer.
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Please. Please!
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Hello, Father Quinn.
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Hello, Cathy.
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Shit!
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There's shit on the floor! Shit!
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Let me get that, Father.
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Come on, Granddad,
let's get you upstairs for a nap.
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I'm just dropping Granddad
back from the funeral.
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00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:16,230
Why? What did he do?
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00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:18,710
Granddad?
Well, he didn't do anything.
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00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:21,430
I was passing here anyway
so I just thought I'd drop him off.
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00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:24,070
Ah right, well you probably
haven't time for a cuppa.
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No, thank you.
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00:03:25,470 --> 00:03:27,950
No, I've got this!
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Father Quinn! Drinking during
the day? Are you all right?
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No, Mrs Brown, I am not all right!
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Father, I didn't say sit down.
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I just buried Mr Jones this morning.
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I promised him heaven
but what if there is no heaven?
49
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,590
He's just buried?
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00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:47,750
I wouldn't worry about him
coming back to complain, Father!
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Mrs Brown, I'm losing my faith.
52
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You're about to lose your fecking
hand now if you don't let go!
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00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:57,030
I'm sorry, Mrs Brown.
I'm just afraid.
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Soon I won't have a flock!
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I don't think you're allowed, Father.
I think it's against the rules.
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00:04:02,950 --> 00:04:04,790
Mrs Brown, have they called here?
Have they?
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Who? Have who called?
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The Missionaries, from the
Church of Latter Day Saints.
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Nobody's called here, Father.
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00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:14,350
You know, they have converted four
families in the last six months.
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00:04:14,350 --> 00:04:17,190
Well, wait a minute, Father,
these missionaries,
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do they believe in God? Well, Yes.
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00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:21,230
Well, then what's the problem?
64
00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:24,830
We're all on the same bus, who gives
a shite who the driver is?
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I give a shite!
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00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:29,270
Father, you watch your fucking
language in this house!
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00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:35,710
Now, Father, look, what you need
to do, you need to get into your car
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00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:36,990
and drive home!
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00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:39,230
Father, these things
are sent to test us.
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Do you think so? Oh, yes!
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00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:44,830
Come on. Now look, Father,
what you need to do is,
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00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:47,230
well, just keep the faith.
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The faith! The faith!
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Yes, the faith.
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00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,750
But, just in case, drive carefully.
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00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,350
Father, would you not be better
in the front seat?
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00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:05,750
Well, my God, what do you
make of that?
78
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:11,430
I suppose it's hard
for religion nowadays.
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00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:15,270
The older generations are dying off
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and the youngsters just don't seem
to have any fecking interest.
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It's hard for God to compete
with, you know,
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fecking World Of Warcraft!
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Would anybody hear
God's message nowadays
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unless he sends it by fecking text!
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It was Father Quinn who helped my
son, Trevor, when he wanted
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to go away on the missions.
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00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,670
He's in Africa now.
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Oh, the Chinese love him!
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Father Quinn looked awful!
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He thinks he's losing his faith.
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00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,910
I think he's losing
his booking marbles!
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Knob fell off,
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just like me husband!
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Hiya, Mammy!
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Jesus, you're not talking as well!
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00:06:16,670 --> 00:06:19,350
Oh, hello, love, do you want
a cup of tea?
97
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Yes, please! What's up?
98
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CRASHING
99
00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:24,750
Ken's after knocking the fucking
wall down again.
100
00:06:32,670 --> 00:06:36,030
Oh, the fecking washing machine's
clapped out!
101
00:06:36,030 --> 00:06:38,270
I'll have to get Mark down
to look at it.
102
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All Granddad's clothes
are stuck in it.
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00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:42,510
Granddad, you'll have to wait!
104
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:44,990
No, not there.
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00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:47,590
Come on, up to your room and play
with your yo-yo.
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00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:50,950
He lost the string,
it's only a YO now!
107
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:54,950
I won't be home later, Mammy.
I'm meeting Mick.
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00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:58,550
Oh, Mick has been around longer
than any other boyfriend, Cathy.
109
00:06:58,550 --> 00:07:00,590
You like him, don't you?
You like him a lot!
110
00:07:00,590 --> 00:07:04,350
Could be the one! A Brown dating
a policeman! Who'd have thought?
111
00:07:04,350 --> 00:07:06,430
Good for you!
112
00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:09,070
Is there tea going?
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Ah, here's the newlyweds!
114
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,630
Do you want tea?
No, I'm late for work.
115
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Goodbye, chicken!
116
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You look like you could have stayed
in bed a bit longer.
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Yeah, restless night!
118
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I'll head off.
I'll get a coffee in town.
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See yous!
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Now, love.
121
00:07:33,070 --> 00:07:35,830
Winnie must be happy with Jacko
coming home from the hospital.
122
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,470
I'll believe it when I see it.
123
00:07:37,470 --> 00:07:40,550
He's definitely coming home today.
I saw it on the discharge order.
124
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We'll see. Are you all right, Maria?
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00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:44,950
I'm fine.
126
00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:47,430
Are you still upset about last night?
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00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:48,350
Last night?
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I heard you and Dermot arguing.
I wasn't listening on purpose,
just it was so warm, I thought
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I'd sleep on the landing.
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00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:59,430
I worry about you, that's all.
I just worry.
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Look, we have to get our own place.
I know, I heard.
132
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But Dermot won't even come
and look at flats with me
133
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and we can't stay here forever!
134
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,590
You don't hear me complaining.
135
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:13,430
I know, Mrs Brown,
but a place of our own!
136
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I know, love.
137
00:08:14,830 --> 00:08:17,950
There's barely enough room for
the four of you, never mind us.
138
00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:21,230
Agnes, love. Oh, Jesus
phone an ambulance, pet!
139
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What's wrong, Winnie?
140
00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:25,350
I was getting Jacko out of the taxi
from the hospital
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00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:28,070
and Father Quinn's after driving
over him!
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Jesus!
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00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:32,110
Winnie! Winnie!
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Get you lads a drink?
145
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,310
Eh, no thank you, officer!
146
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They must have something on.
147
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I hope not!
148
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SHE BURPS
149
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Excuse me, Winnie.
150
00:09:06,550 --> 00:09:07,590
A broken leg.
151
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:10,750
How many times has Jacko broke
his leg?
152
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:13,270
Eight.
153
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:15,790
But the other one was only five. Oh!
154
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A broken leg and a few bruises.
I suppose he was lucky!
155
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:22,390
Well, that's how I always think
of him. Lucky Jacko(!)
156
00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:30,950
Father Quinn didn't come
out of it well. No?
157
00:09:30,950 --> 00:09:32,870
No, he's in a bad way, Winnie.
158
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He's losing his faith!
159
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:36,230
Where did he lose his faith?
I don't know.
160
00:09:36,230 --> 00:09:40,230
He was talking about not having
a flock. I was embarrassed. Oh, yeah!
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I didn't ask any questions. Mr Foley!
162
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Thank you.
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He's worried about missionaries
pushing another religion there.
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Ah! What he needs is a miracle!
165
00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:54,710
Maybe you're right. Yeah!
166
00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,230
Why don't you do a miracle? What?
167
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:58,470
Get up and pay
for that booking round.
168
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:00,230
Ah, very funny(!)
169
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,950
I have to get that
washing machine fixed!
170
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Ah, good girl, Winnie!
There you go, Pet!
171
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:19,590
I hope you got me fresh ice now,
not that fecking frozen stuff!
172
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,110
That's all they had, Agnes!
173
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:24,790
Ah, feck off, Agnes!
174
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,790
I swear to God, Winnie,
you'd swallow an anchor!
175
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:31,310
Do you know, we could get
Father Quinn to Lourdes
176
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:34,790
and hope for a miracle!
I've seen a miracle in Lourdes once.
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Did you? There was a man
in a wheelchair. Yeah.
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Then they pushed him into the water
179
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and suddenly all the lights got
brighter, all the candles flickered.
180
00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,030
You could feel a chill
181
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and then they pushed him out
the other side.
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And he got up and walked? No.
183
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:51,430
But the wheelchair had two new tyres!
184
00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:57,190
It's a doddle, Dermot.
185
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,670
The house is empty
and they have a warehouse.
186
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:02,430
I could do with some money
to get us a place.
187
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:05,630
But I promised Maria that I'd never
burgle a house again.
188
00:11:05,630 --> 00:11:07,710
Fair enough, we'll just do
the warehouse.
189
00:11:09,550 --> 00:11:12,950
OK, I'll take a look.
Now, no promises. Just a look!
190
00:11:12,950 --> 00:11:14,870
Ah, brilliant!
191
00:11:14,870 --> 00:11:20,110
You've a marvellous
pair of hands, son.
Gifted, gifted like Jockey Wilson!
192
00:11:20,790 --> 00:11:24,390
Yeah, Ma, listen. I don't think
I'll get this fixed today.
193
00:11:24,390 --> 00:11:26,470
Ah, you're fecking useless!
194
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:28,630
Switch off the power,
Ma, for a minute.
195
00:11:28,630 --> 00:11:30,430
Power going off!
196
00:11:30,430 --> 00:11:31,990
OK, Mammy!
197
00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:33,870
KNOCKING
198
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:36,190
What do you want, Granddad?
Has the power gone off?
199
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:37,470
No, you've gone blind!
200
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,830
They have a top-of-the-range
security system. What kind?
201
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:44,670
The Mercury infra-red scan!
No bother.
202
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:47,390
Just give me a mirror and a bit
of Blu-Tack and that's done!
203
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:49,310
And they have cameras,
five of them,
204
00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:51,830
two of them night vision.
Power coming back on!
205
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:56,950
And we can silence the alarms.
206
00:11:56,950 --> 00:12:00,350
We can silence the bell
with a bit of putty.
207
00:12:01,910 --> 00:12:05,510
So then Tom Cruise comes out
of the roof with a bit of rope
208
00:12:05,930 --> 00:12:09,290
Ah, Dermo, it's a brilliant movie,
you have to get it on DVD!
209
00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:11,890
Hello, Cathy! Hello, officer!
210
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:13,090
Right, listen. I'm off!
211
00:12:13,090 --> 00:12:15,450
Do you fancy a drink, Dermo?
212
00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:27,770
Hello, son.
213
00:12:27,770 --> 00:12:29,730
Granddad? You still awake? Yeah!
214
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,450
Were you at George Mumford's
funeral? Yeah!
215
00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:35,050
Good craic afterwards? Yeah!
216
00:12:35,050 --> 00:12:37,650
Were they all saying
what a nice man he was? Yeah!
217
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:40,530
He must have been a good soul, so.
He was a shit!
218
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:44,410
Some of us are trying
to sleep up here.
219
00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:49,210
Why don't yous get together and come
up and scream in me fecking ear!
220
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:52,530
What are yous doing up at this hour
of the night?
221
00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,290
Talking, Ma, just talking.
222
00:12:54,290 --> 00:12:56,930
I sat up till after midnight waiting
for that thing
223
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:59,530
to start on the fecking telly.
224
00:12:59,530 --> 00:13:00,570
Grand Prix.
225
00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:05,290
Wasted my time.
226
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,610
It was all about fecking racing cars!
227
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:14,650
Granddad was just telling me how
everyone was saying nice things
228
00:13:14,650 --> 00:13:17,930
about George Mumford at the wake.
That's nice. You hated him.
229
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,210
Ah, he was a shit, nobody liked him!
230
00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:24,650
Ah, but still! Still what?
Yous all make me sick! Do we?
231
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:27,650
And what nice things will
people say about me at my funeral?
232
00:13:27,650 --> 00:13:29,170
Yes, if they both turn up!
233
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:33,290
And I won't be around
to hear them say it!
234
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:36,650
That's the way it goes, Granddad
Once you die, you go deaf!
235
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,410
A man should be allowed to attend
his own funeral.
236
00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:42,490
That's a great one.
I think that'll catch on(!)
237
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,050
He could, you know.
238
00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:48,930
Of course he could! I do forget
we're related to fecking Lazarus!
239
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,930
How would a man do that now, be at
his own funeral, explain that to me!
240
00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:57,050
We could just tell everyone
he's dead, have a pretend funeral,
241
00:13:57,050 --> 00:13:59,010
let Granddad hear what's being said.
242
00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:02,010
A pretend funeral? What's going on?
You're just in time.
243
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:04,810
Welcome to the Twilight Zone!
Wait till you hear this.
244
00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:09,690
Come on, Brains Trust, tell them your
big plan. Come on, Alfred Pitchfork!
245
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:14,930
Granddad wants to hear all the nice
things said about him
at his funeral.
246
00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:17,770
At his OWN funeral now!
His own fecking funeral!
247
00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:22,650
So I suggested we have
a pretend funeral, and let Granddad,
you know, hear them!
248
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:23,810
That might work!
249
00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:29,210
That could be great fun.
I could be real sad.
250
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:36,530
Am I the only sane person
in this fecking house?
251
00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:42,530
A pretend funeral! I haven't been
in mourning since your father died.
252
00:14:42,530 --> 00:14:45,410
Everyone said I looked lovely
in that black dress.
253
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:47,170
I still have it. Have you, Mammy?
254
00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:51,330
Oh, yes. You know,
in case of, erm...
255
00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:52,410
a special occasion.
256
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:58,210
No, no, we'd never get away with it.
We would, Ma!
257
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:01,450
I know a couple of lads,
undertakers.
They'd lend me a coffin.
258
00:15:01,450 --> 00:15:03,050
We could lay him out in the house.
259
00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:07,530
I could do his hair and make-up
like in funeral parlours.
Father Quinn could say prayers.
260
00:15:07,530 --> 00:15:10,650
That might be the last thing
he does as a priest!
261
00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:15,810
And we could all have a flower
to drop on the coffin
as it's going down the hole.
262
00:15:17,170 --> 00:15:20,410
Easy, Ma! We're not going that far.
Fecking spoilsport!
263
00:15:23,610 --> 00:15:27,090
We could always say nothing
and just cremate him?
264
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:30,570
He'll think he was in Torremolinos!
265
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:36,330
When? When will we do it?
No, not Monday - bingo.
266
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,210
Not Wednesday - pilates.
267
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:41,010
Not Thursday - my training course.
It can't be Tuesday.
268
00:15:41,010 --> 00:15:44,050
Are yous all too busy
to let me die?
269
00:15:44,050 --> 00:15:46,890
Shut up, you,
and wait your fecking turn!
270
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:49,570
You wouldn't die last month
when I asked you to.
271
00:15:49,570 --> 00:15:53,570
Hold on, nobody mentioned Friday.
How's Friday?
272
00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:56,250
If we do this, we don't tell anybody,
only family.
273
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:59,810
And certainly not Winnie.
You know what she's fecking like!
274
00:15:59,810 --> 00:16:03,370
Oh, wait now,
we'd better ask the corpse.
275
00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:05,890
Granddad, how would you like
to die on Friday?
276
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:10,610
Friday is grand!
Friday it is, then!
277
00:16:17,850 --> 00:16:22,810
Dermot! Dermot, you watch your time -
you don't want to be late for work!
278
00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:25,250
OK, Mammy. Just getting my costume.
279
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,730
DOOR BELL RINGS
280
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:32,410
Mammy, that might be the lads
with the coffin. Oh, right!
281
00:16:34,850 --> 00:16:36,090
Hello, ma'am!
282
00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:39,690
Come in, come in. Come in, quick!
Don't let anybody see you!
283
00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:40,930
Thank you, ma'am.
284
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:47,570
I've been expecting you! Excellent.
285
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:49,890
We are here to shine a light
on the path to God,
286
00:16:49,890 --> 00:16:52,890
and, may I just say, we
are delighted with such a welcome.
287
00:16:57,250 --> 00:17:00,210
Ah, that's very nice.
Have you got it with you now?
288
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,650
I'm sorry, have we got what?
289
00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:03,970
The coffin -
is it out in the big black car?
290
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:07,090
Uh, we walked here. You walked?!
291
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:09,610
You didn't carry it
up the fecking road?!
292
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:12,130
It's supposed to be a surprise!
293
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:15,970
Ma'am, we may be confusing you.
294
00:17:15,970 --> 00:17:18,890
I'm Elder Bush and this here
is Elder Peach. Howdy, ma'am!
295
00:17:18,890 --> 00:17:22,690
Are you the undertakers?
No, ma'am! We're Mormons.
296
00:17:22,690 --> 00:17:26,170
Oh, son,
don't be putting yourself down.
297
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,570
They used to say that about my child
in school, but he turned out fine.
298
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:34,090
No, ma'am - Mormons, from
the Church of Latter-day Saints.
299
00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:35,170
The Church...?
300
00:17:36,570 --> 00:17:39,090
You're the two that Father...
301
00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:41,490
How do, do, do!
302
00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:43,050
Do sit down!
303
00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:44,770
Why, thank you, Ma'am, how kind!
304
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:46,530
Not at all!
305
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:49,490
I want to find out what
all the fecking fuss is about!
306
00:17:49,490 --> 00:17:52,170
A lovely home you have here.
Thank you very much, son.
307
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:55,810
Well, we're just a normal family,
trying to get by. Hello, sir!
308
00:17:55,810 --> 00:17:57,570
Oh, don't mind him,
309
00:17:57,570 --> 00:18:01,370
he's just excited about
his funeral tomorrow.
310
00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:07,130
Well, my name is Agnes, or Mrs Brown,
311
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:10,850
whichever you think is most
appropriate. That's fine, Mrs Brown.
312
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:13,170
May we begin with a few moments
of silent prayer?
313
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,570
Ha ha ha!
314
00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:17,130
Seriously?
315
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:22,410
All right, just keep
your voices down.
316
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,090
That's my son.
317
00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:42,770
He's a big cock!
318
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,490
Sugars, boys?
How many sugars in your tea?
319
00:18:54,490 --> 00:18:58,810
We don't drink tea!
Of course you don't, you're American!
320
00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:02,850
How many sugars
in your cap-in-chino?
321
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:09,050
We don't drink cappuccino either,
or alcohol, or anything that might
taint our system. OK.
322
00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:12,690
For we believe our bodies
are the temple of the Lord,
323
00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:17,250
and if this be so, then who
would defile a temple knowingly?
324
00:19:17,250 --> 00:19:20,330
A fecking "No" would have done!
325
00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:22,570
What if we just sneak out?
326
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:27,090
Now, where were we?
327
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:31,170
We were talking about
the Old Testament.
328
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,610
The Old Testament, yeah.
329
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:33,930
♪ Hallelujah
330
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:36,050
♪ Hallelujah
331
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,530
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah, ha... ♪
332
00:19:38,530 --> 00:19:40,610
Comes from down there, look...
333
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:41,890
♪ Hallelujah
334
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:46,530
♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah
hallelujah! ♪
335
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:48,130
Don't mind me, son -
336
00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:51,530
that's just the way we used to do it
in the old days.
337
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:55,370
In my day, you know.
It's all changed now, isn't it?
Yeah, all modern, yeah.
338
00:19:55,370 --> 00:19:56,410
♪ Hallelu... ♪
339
00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:57,450
SHE BEATBOXES
340
00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:01,730
West side!
341
00:20:03,810 --> 00:20:07,210
Actually, Mrs Brown,
we were talking about Abraham.
342
00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,650
Very good story, yeah.
343
00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:10,490
Yes, it is, ma'am. Yes, it is.
344
00:20:10,490 --> 00:20:14,690
Yeah, sad, but at the end,
when he's riding his chariot
345
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:19,290
and the wheel came off, that was sad.
346
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:23,370
Oh, no, wait, that was Kirk Douglas.
347
00:20:26,210 --> 00:20:29,970
Oh, Abraham! Of course, yes!
He invented the snip.
348
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:34,170
The snip? The snip, you know, snip!
349
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:39,410
It's a very good story, that,
it is, but it's made up.
350
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:42,690
I'm sorry, Mrs Brown? It's made up.
A lot of the Bible is made up.
351
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:45,690
They had to, cos otherwise
it'd be only be a pamphlet.
352
00:20:45,690 --> 00:20:50,090
I don't think so, Ma'am.
Norman's Ark, that's made up!
I believe his name was Noah.
353
00:20:50,090 --> 00:20:54,370
Well, I believe in Ireland
we call him fucking Norman!
354
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:57,250
That's made up, love. No, Ma'am!
355
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:59,530
Yes, son.
Think about it, think about it!
356
00:20:59,530 --> 00:21:02,650
I have, ma'am, I... Son, son,
it rains for 40 days and 40 nights.
357
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:05,370
That's right.
And they called it a disaster. Yes.
358
00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:09,130
In Ireland, we call that
the fecking summer!
359
00:21:11,690 --> 00:21:17,770
It's made up! I mean, here.
What did he have on his boat?
Norman, what did Norman...?
360
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:21,050
Are you looking up
the fecking answers?
361
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:22,090
I'm sorry!
362
00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:24,450
What did he have on his boat?
363
00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:28,690
Two of every animal
in the whole world! That's right.
364
00:21:28,690 --> 00:21:30,370
On a fucking boat?!
365
00:21:32,170 --> 00:21:35,850
Son, we had two hamsters
for the month - they nearly
shit out the house!
366
00:21:37,850 --> 00:21:40,610
We'd better be going now.
No, no, wait!
367
00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:42,970
Hold on, I'm not fecking finished!
368
00:21:44,290 --> 00:21:48,410
The Three Wise Men!
Wise?! They got fecking lost!
369
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,090
Do you know what, Granddad?
It fecking suits you!
370
00:22:00,090 --> 00:22:03,490
Lie down! Hey, Mammy -
Granddad looks great.
371
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:06,650
Doesn't he! I'm telling you,
mahogany's his colour!
372
00:22:06,650 --> 00:22:09,930
Hi, Granddad!
Don't talk to him, he's booking dead!
373
00:22:09,930 --> 00:22:13,650
What's this?
It's Granddad's death certificate.
374
00:22:13,650 --> 00:22:16,290
Dr Flynn was drunk -
I got him to write one out.
375
00:22:16,290 --> 00:22:18,290
You don't need a death certificate.
376
00:22:18,290 --> 00:22:22,090
Oh, yes, I do. He's due 15,000 euro
from his union the day he dies.
377
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:27,250
He's retired 15 years, I'm fucked
if I'm waiting any longer! Mammy?
378
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,370
It's not for me, it's for you two.
379
00:22:29,370 --> 00:22:32,130
Get you started
in a place of your own.
380
00:22:32,130 --> 00:22:33,250
Thanks, Ma!
381
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:36,490
Ah, "Thanks, Ma" me arse!
I'm fed up of yous crowding me out.
382
00:22:36,490 --> 00:22:40,290
I have no fecking privacy.
I want yous out.
383
00:22:41,770 --> 00:22:43,130
Thank you, Mrs Brown.
384
00:22:43,130 --> 00:22:47,410
Ah, don't thank me, love.
Thank Granddad for dying prematurely!
385
00:22:47,410 --> 00:22:53,210
You look fantastic, Cathy!
Thanks, Mammy. This is actually fun!
386
00:22:53,210 --> 00:22:54,930
I know, I'm getting excited!
387
00:22:54,930 --> 00:22:56,450
It's great practice for me,
388
00:22:56,450 --> 00:23:01,250
cos when he does go,
it'll be all I can do to stop meself
doing booking cartwheels!
389
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:05,330
Mammy, there's loads
of people arriving!
390
00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:09,690
Oh, lovely! Now, come on, let's get
this show on the fecking road!
391
00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:27,290
Agnes, love. Aw, Jesus!
I'm so sorry for your trouble, pet!
392
00:23:27,290 --> 00:23:29,890
Thank you, Winnie.
It was such a shock!
393
00:23:30,890 --> 00:23:32,810
Where is he?
394
00:23:36,210 --> 00:23:40,210
Winnie, did you think
that was the fucking buffet?!
395
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,570
Jesus, Lord,
would you look at him? Oh, God.
396
00:23:42,570 --> 00:23:45,010
It must have been a painful passing.
397
00:23:46,210 --> 00:23:49,010
♪ Oh, peace in the valley
398
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:51,410
♪ Peace where he lies... ♪
399
00:23:51,410 --> 00:23:54,850
Winnie, love, that's grand.
400
00:23:56,490 --> 00:23:59,210
Winnie, did somebody tell you
it was a fecking karaoke?
401
00:23:59,210 --> 00:24:02,130
DOOR BELL RINGS
402
00:24:02,130 --> 00:24:05,210
They're here, get Mama Cass
off the floor, Cathy!
403
00:24:06,810 --> 00:24:09,930
God bless all in this house.
404
00:24:12,290 --> 00:24:16,370
Thank you, Father... I know.
405
00:24:16,370 --> 00:24:18,050
He's... I know.
406
00:24:18,050 --> 00:24:19,130
I... I know!
407
00:24:19,130 --> 00:24:20,730
How do you fucking know?!
408
00:24:22,090 --> 00:24:24,890
Will we begin?
409
00:24:24,890 --> 00:24:29,170
The Lord giveth and the Lord
taketh away. Too true! Too true!
410
00:24:29,170 --> 00:24:33,210
He gives us always the promise
of heaven. And hell for the sinners!
411
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:36,410
Winnie, it's not a booking debate!
412
00:24:36,410 --> 00:24:38,370
Granddad Brown was a good man.
413
00:24:40,370 --> 00:24:44,690
Let us recall his contribution
to our lives. This won't take long!
414
00:24:44,690 --> 00:24:48,690
For without him, there'd be
none of you here today. No Agnes...
415
00:24:48,690 --> 00:24:50,850
He's not MY father. Mammy!
416
00:24:50,850 --> 00:24:52,850
..none of
her children, grandchildren.
417
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:54,850
I never thought of it that way.
418
00:24:54,850 --> 00:24:57,970
Let us take a moment to remember him
419
00:24:57,970 --> 00:25:00,930
Would anybody like to say
a word in his memory?
420
00:25:04,930 --> 00:25:05,970
OK, then.
421
00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:08,730
ALL GASP
422
00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,970
Has nobody anything good to say?
423
00:25:10,970 --> 00:25:13,810
He's... He's not dead!
424
00:25:13,810 --> 00:25:19,250
No, he's alive! Oh, my God! It's
a miracle! It's a miracle, Father!
425
00:25:19,250 --> 00:25:22,250
How did you do it, Father Quinn?
How did you do it?
426
00:25:22,250 --> 00:25:24,810
Well, I don't know.
I raised my arms in the air!
427
00:25:24,810 --> 00:25:27,850
ALL: He raised his arms in the air!
428
00:25:27,850 --> 00:25:31,530
And then I looked up to the Lord.
ALL: He looked up to the Lord!
429
00:25:33,730 --> 00:25:35,290
♪ He put his hands up in the air
430
00:25:35,290 --> 00:25:36,810
♪ He put his hands up in the air
431
00:25:36,810 --> 00:25:38,610
♪ And he said a little prayer
432
00:25:38,610 --> 00:25:40,090
♪ And he said a little prayer
433
00:25:40,090 --> 00:25:41,850
♪ I've never seen the like before
434
00:25:41,850 --> 00:25:43,650
♪ Never seen the like before
435
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,530
♪ Granddad's back from death's door
436
00:25:45,530 --> 00:25:47,130
♪ Granddad's back from death's door
437
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:49,010
♪ So if your life is full of sin
438
00:25:49,010 --> 00:25:50,570
♪ If your life is full of sin
439
00:25:50,570 --> 00:25:52,170
♪ Just send out for Father Quinn
440
00:25:52,170 --> 00:25:54,170
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
441
00:25:54,170 --> 00:25:55,890
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
442
00:25:55,890 --> 00:25:59,690
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
443
00:25:59,690 --> 00:26:01,650
♪ He just raised his hands on high
444
00:26:01,650 --> 00:26:03,090
♪ He just raised his hands on high
445
00:26:03,090 --> 00:26:04,570
♪ He asked the Lord to hear his cry
446
00:26:04,570 --> 00:26:06,210
♪ Asked the Lord to hear his cry
447
00:26:06,210 --> 00:26:08,210
♪ The darkest secrets from my past
448
00:26:08,210 --> 00:26:09,610
♪ Darkest secrets from her past
449
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:11,770
♪ Are laid to rest for me at last
450
00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,090
♪ Laid to rest for her at last
451
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:14,850
♪ It doesn't matter where you've been
452
00:26:14,850 --> 00:26:16,770
♪ It doesn't matter
where you've been
453
00:26:16,770 --> 00:26:18,530
♪ Just send out for Father Quinn
454
00:26:18,530 --> 00:26:20,290
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
455
00:26:20,290 --> 00:26:22,130
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
456
00:26:22,130 --> 00:26:24,690
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
457
00:26:27,170 --> 00:26:29,690
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
458
00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:31,610
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
459
00:26:31,610 --> 00:26:34,050
♪ You waited for a sign from him
460
00:26:34,050 --> 00:26:35,930
♪ You waited for a sign from him
461
00:26:35,930 --> 00:26:38,090
♪ Instead of your faith being dead
462
00:26:38,090 --> 00:26:40,330
♪ Your faith being dead
463
00:26:40,330 --> 00:26:42,530
♪ You worked a miracle instead
464
00:26:42,530 --> 00:26:44,810
♪ Worked a miracle instead
465
00:26:44,810 --> 00:26:47,090
♪ Now you have the power within
466
00:26:47,090 --> 00:26:49,250
♪ Now you have the power within
467
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:52,010
♪ For God's sake, there's your sign
Father Quinn!
468
00:26:52,010 --> 00:26:55,770
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn! ♪
469
00:26:59,610 --> 00:27:01,450
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
470
00:27:04,410 --> 00:27:09,250
You see, I told you. It all works out
the way it's supposed to!
Now, don't sit there -
471
00:27:09,250 --> 00:27:11,290
get up and dance! Come on!
472
00:27:12,290 --> 00:27:15,050
♪ He raised his hands up high
473
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,810
♪ Asked the Lord to hear his cry
474
00:27:18,530 --> 00:27:20,410
♪ Darkest secrets from the past... ♪
475
00:27:20,410 --> 00:27:22,090
Yeah!
476
00:27:22,090 --> 00:27:25,130
♪ Laid to rest for her at last
477
00:27:25,130 --> 00:27:27,250
♪ Doesn't matter where you've been
478
00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:29,650
♪ Just send out for Father Quinn
479
00:27:29,650 --> 00:27:31,170
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
480
00:27:31,170 --> 00:27:32,730
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn
481
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:35,770
♪ Father Quinn, Father Quinn! ♪
37644
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