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1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:11,959
This programme contains
some strong language.
2
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,159
Ha-ha-ha!
3
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,639
Ladies and gentlemen...
4
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,119
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys.
5
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,080
Hello! Ha-ha-ha!
6
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,359
Well, it's my son Dermot
and Maria's wedding this week...
7
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,279
Everybody's so excited.
8
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:41,519
Cathy is worried about fitting
into that dress so she's going to
her aerobics.
9
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,359
Yeah, aero...
that's a made-up name.
10
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,719
I think the gym owners said,
"We'd better call it something fancy,
11
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:51,119
"cos they won't pay if we just call
it feckin' jumping up and down."
12
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,359
Ow!
13
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,799
Sorry... a bit distracted,
it's not just the wedding,
14
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,919
it's Dermot's reaction to it.
15
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,399
Dermot doesn't take stress well.
16
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,999
When his father died, he went into
the wardrobe in his bedroom
and didn't come out for two weeks!
17
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,519
Hiya, Mammy.
18
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,839
Hello, son.
Would you like a cup of tea?
19
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,360
Yeah, Mammy.
20
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:19,919
A penny for your thoughts, love. Just
thinking about me getting married!
21
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,440
Do you see what I mean?
22
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:28,160
My God, it's hard to believe
you'll soon have children of your own
to worry about.
23
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,879
And after the way you treated me,
I hope they break your feckin' heart!
24
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,479
Do you remember
being pregnant on me?
25
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,359
Ha-ha. Do I remember?
26
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,959
I'll never forget it, son.
27
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,839
Me arse was as wide as the
arrivals gate in Dublin Airport!
28
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:49,039
What were you hoping I'd be?
Your father's!
29
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,079
Seriously?
30
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,079
Don't be a feckin' idiot,
of course not!
31
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:55,559
Your arrival was a big event
in my life. I'll never forget it...
32
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,559
12 pounds, 8 ounces you were.
33
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,719
They couldn't even
get you with the forceps.
34
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:03,080
At one point I thought they were
going for a tow truck and a rope!
35
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:05,960
22 stitches I had.
36
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,679
I could walk down both sides of
Grafton Street at the same time.
37
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,599
I'll never forget it.
38
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,039
A beautiful, sunny Tuesday! Saturday!
39
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,719
Saturday! Saturday, yeah!
40
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,999
In July.
41
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,279
September. September, yeah!
42
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,279
Which feckin' one are you?
43
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:30,319
No, it was lovely and the
nurses in Galway were so nice.
I thought I was born in Dublin.
44
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:34,479
No, Galway. It would have been Dublin
only your father wanted
to stay for the last race!
45
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,199
I don't think I'm ready
to be a parent.
46
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,679
For feck's sake, son,
none of us are!
47
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,960
Any parent will tell you.
48
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,079
You're an amateur parent
with an amateur child,
49
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,080
and just when you
have the job right...
50
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,359
they marry someone and leave.
51
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,519
Yeah, well...
52
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:57,239
Mammy, don't worry,
I'll never be far away.
53
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,040
Don't you feckin' threaten me, son!
54
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,599
Good morning! Morning, Rory!
Morning, Mammy! Hello, love!
55
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,279
Dermot, getting nervous yet?
56
00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,399
Stop, stop it! Leave me alone!
57
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:13,800
Rory, have you and Dino decided
which girls you're going to be
bringing to the wedding?
58
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,920
Er, no. Listen, I have to dash.
I'll see you later. Bye-bye!
59
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,440
He's in a feckin' hurry!
60
00:03:22,441 --> 00:03:25,479
Mammy, Rory's not bringing
a girl to the wedding. Why not?
61
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,400
Mammy,
what if I turn out like me dad?
62
00:03:27,401 --> 00:03:29,759
You and Rory need to talk.
He's not into women.
63
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,599
What are you saying? I said,
"What if I turn out like me dad?"
64
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,000
No, not you, love, Cathy.
65
00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:36,119
I heard what you said! You won't.
66
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,119
Rory is... a friend of Dorothy's.
67
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,359
Can't he bring Dorothy
to the wedding, then?
68
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,919
Wouldn't that be all right?
69
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,519
I have to go.
Mammy, we'll talk later.
70
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,120
What if I become an alcoholic?
71
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,919
Your father wasn't an alcoholic.
72
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,200
We couldn't afford that.
73
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,839
He was a drunk!
74
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,719
Yeah, I know what you mean, yes.
75
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:11,120
Well, marriage is not just all
about sex. Now that's what I say.
76
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,279
Yes... Oh, you're so right!
77
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,719
Oh, listen,
I remember when one night himself...
78
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:23,159
oh, he went... he went from
one o'clock in the morning
till quarter past two!
79
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,119
Yeah. No, well, it was the night
that the clocks went forward!
80
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,599
Mammy, for God's sake!
Oh, hold on. What, Cathy?
81
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,239
Just order the pizza!
82
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,159
So that's a...
83
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:45,239
a deep pan Hawaiian, a pepperoni
and a side order of garlic bread.
84
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,880
All right, thank you!
85
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,199
Mammy, sit down for a second.
86
00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,799
What, Cathy?
87
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,679
Look at this.
88
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,159
I want you to take
a little time to read this.
89
00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:01,959
What is it?
90
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,120
Homosexuality And Me.
91
00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,559
I want you to read it, Mammy.
92
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,639
I want you to look around you for
signs and then we'll have a talk.
93
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,639
Signs? What kind of signs?
94
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,559
Read it... and then we'll talk.
95
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,800
I wish you'd tell me
what this is all about.
96
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,519
G'day, g'day!
97
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,039
Hello, son!
98
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,079
Oh, do you smell wedding cake?
99
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,079
I smell wedding cake! Do you
smell wedding cake? Don't, Mammy.
100
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,639
Maria standing there in a beautiful
white gown, think about that!
101
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,519
Stop, Ma, not now!
102
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,080
I'm only getting excited.
103
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,919
I'd love to be a feckin' kangaroo.
104
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:46,080
I'd have had 12 children
if I could have matured
them in me handbag!
105
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,959
Do you want a cup of tea, love?
No, thanks, Ma.
106
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,599
I'm fine, it's just...
107
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,639
everything's happening so fast.
108
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,880
I feel...
109
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,039
Doesn't matter. Never mind.
110
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:04,839
I can't believe your boss
made you hop around
the week you're getting married!
111
00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,839
He didn't ask me, I wanted to.
112
00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,479
I'm going for me bath.
113
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:13,759
Make sure to wash your Joey!
114
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,639
Dermot! Can I just say something?
115
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,639
I'm off, Mammy!
116
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,519
I'll see you, love.
117
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,200
And, Mammy, read the book! I will.
118
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,720
How are you, Mrs Brown?
Is Dermot here?
119
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,759
Dermot!
120
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,439
There's a gobshite
down here looking for you!
121
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,439
And me!
122
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,839
So how's your speech coming along?
123
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,840
I'm still trying to
pronounce me haitches more.
124
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,600
Your best man's speech
for the wedding!
125
00:06:55,601 --> 00:06:58,799
The best man's speech
is the highlight of the reception!
126
00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,279
Really?!
127
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,999
You didn't know you'd to
make a speech at the wedding?!
128
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,080
No.
129
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,720
I suppose I'll just make something
up on the day. No, you won't!
130
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:14,119
Jacko was our best man and he did
that and loads of crap came out.
131
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:19,079
You will not. You'll write a speech
before the wedding and you'll run it
past me first. Are we clear? Yeah!
132
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,879
I'd die if Dermot's marriage
was a repeat of my own.
133
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,040
That man feckin' ruined our wedding!
134
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,559
Right, Mrs Brown...
135
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,040
will you tell Dermot
to follow me down to Foley's?
136
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,919
I've some thinking to do.
137
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,280
Yes, you have.
138
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,920
Holy God!
139
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,199
Cathy's a lesbian.
140
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:01,319
What?!
141
00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,079
Cathy.
142
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,079
It explains a lot. She's a lesbian!
143
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,999
But what about Mick the boyfriend?
144
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,520
He must be a lesbian, too!
145
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,479
Mick is a homo?
146
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,719
Winnie, the book says
you can't say that.
147
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,519
It's not politically correct.
148
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:18,680
What do you say, then?
149
00:08:18,681 --> 00:08:20,240
I don't know. Queer, I think.
150
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:22,879
Right so!
151
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,839
Now goodnight, folks. Come on.
You got no homes to go to?
152
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,360
Agnes, what does the book say
is the signs of being a lesbian?
153
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:36,239
"There will be a noticeable
absence of men in her life."
154
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,719
That's very vague, Agnes.
155
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,759
Sure, your husband's dead
and my Jacko's always in hospital!
156
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,519
Jesus, that's true!
157
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,119
Well, here...
158
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,359
"The closest person to her will be
another woman
159
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:53,919
"and it will become apparent
that she feels she cannot
be without that woman."
160
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,239
Again, Agnes, that could be anyone.
161
00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:58,320
Sure, that could be me or you!
162
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:09,800
What does the book say...
163
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,599
lesbians do together?
164
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,040
Does it mention bingo?
165
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,800
We'd better move. Yeah!
166
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:38,879
I'm going to go home, ring Jacko
at the hospital, and have phone sex.
167
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,879
He'll be asleep, for God's sake!
168
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,079
Well, I'll leave a message then.
169
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,239
Listen, I'm going to pay Mr Foley
for the drink he's leaving
at the house.
170
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,239
Right. You go on ahead.
Goodnight then, love. Goodnight.
171
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,440
Goodnight, love. Yeah.
172
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,679
Mr Foley. Hello. That's the stuff
we need and there's a few bob.
173
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,839
Two dozen lager, two dozen stout,
case of wine, assorted spirits...
174
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,959
half a dozen Babycham? Rory! Oh...
175
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,160
I'll tot it up! Thanks very much.
176
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,760
What about this? Jesus Christ!
177
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,600
You were that close to death!
178
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,919
Ahem. "What is the story,
everybody?"
179
00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,599
No, no... that's,
180
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,440
"Ladies and gentleman
and Reverend Father..."
181
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,239
It's his best man's speech. Oh!
182
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,080
"Ladies and gentlemen
and Reverend Father...
183
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,439
"the first time me
and Dermot went shoplifting..."
184
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,479
Scratch that!
185
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,519
My Dermot never went shoplifting!
186
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,800
He did!
187
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,600
Of course he didn't...
188
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,720
What about this?
189
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,839
"Me and Dermot met in a private
school... " Yeah, that's nice!
190
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,399
"recommended by a judge."
191
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,959
NO! It's funny but, isn't it?
No! It's not funny!
192
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,760
What did Dermot think of this effort?
193
00:11:08,761 --> 00:11:10,919
He didn't come down to Foley's.
194
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,199
I tried to call him
but his phone's turned off.
195
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,199
Good luck!
196
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,799
It doesn't take two and a half hours
to have a bath.
197
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,719
Maybe he went out to Maria's.
198
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,999
Thanks very much, Mr Foley.
There you go.
199
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,639
Huh, kids. What are you going to do,
hey?
200
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,239
Hey. Well, with our Nicole we're
really lucky. Ah, that's nice.
201
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,519
No, no, she's good as gold...
I'll tell you now, hey,
Josh and Oliver...
202
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,600
Mr Foley...
Agnes fuckin' bored now. Goodnight!
203
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,599
Is there anything I can do?
Anything that will cheer you up?
204
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,999
No! Just leave me alone, Mammy!
205
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,559
You don't have to get married!
I want to! Then what's wrong?
206
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,519
I just need to think.
207
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,599
That's what you said when your
father died. You didn't come out
for two feckin' weeks!
208
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,960
And we don't have two weeks, Dermot.
209
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,839
Hiya, Mammy!
210
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,520
Dermot's in the cupboard again!
211
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,279
Hiya, Dermot! Hiya, Cathy.
212
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,480
Do you want tea? No, thanks.
213
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,559
Do you want tea, Mammy? Yes,
I've made some. It's on the table.
214
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:18,840
You're breaking your mother's heart!
215
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,919
Dermot?
216
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,599
The man is here
about the wedding video!
217
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,559
Mammy, did you read the book?
218
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,239
Yes. Well? Is it you?
219
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,519
What?! No. For God's sake, Mammy!
220
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:51,759
Well, I've been looking for signs
but everywhere I look, I see signs!
221
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,959
Listen...
222
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,999
"Many people will have a homosexual
experience while in prison."
223
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,279
Dermot was in prison.
224
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,399
Is that why he's in the cupboard?
So he can...
225
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,479
"Come out"?
226
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,039
Mammy! No, it's not Dermot.
227
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,079
Well, now,
228
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:17,399
"The homosexual will try
on many occasions to give
the family hints or signs."
229
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,079
You gave me the book.
Are you sure it's not you?
230
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,279
No! If it was me, I'd tell you!
231
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,160
There you are.
It's not you or Dermot,
232
00:13:25,161 --> 00:13:28,360
I know it's not Mark, and Trevor's
celibate. Which only leaves?
233
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,599
It's me!
234
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,200
Waaah!
235
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,959
No, it's not you, Mammy!
For God's sake. Thank Jesus!
236
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,520
Think about who you left out.
237
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,759
Rory?! Exactly.
238
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,960
Don't be ridiculous. If it was Rory,
he'd have tried to tell me.
239
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,999
Hiya, Agnes, love.
240
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,479
Sit down, Winnie.
I want to tell you something.
241
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,559
Jesus, Agnes. What's wrong?
242
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:07,519
Rory is homosexual.
243
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,159
I know, but what's wrong?
244
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,120
What do you mean, you feckin' know?!
245
00:14:13,121 --> 00:14:14,959
Agnes, everyone knows!
246
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,600
Why didn't you
say that in the pub?
247
00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:19,159
Cos I thought you were
looking for lesbians!
248
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,040
Feckin' idiot.
249
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,479
"Even the police who
arrested us love Dermot..."
250
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,640
Get out! Out!
251
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,639
Here, Do you want me to do
anything for the wedding, pet?
252
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,519
No, no, we're all set.
It'll be a great day, Agnes! Yeah.
253
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,960
Even though you are losing Dermot.
254
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,400
Another one gone, what?
255
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,759
Look, I should go.
256
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,159
I have to get across to the hospital
with them clothes for Jacko.
257
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:48,839
He's coming out for the wedding!
Of course he is.
258
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,080
Everything's free!
259
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,999
You know, I have to get
two buses across to that hospital.
260
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,799
Two buses over and two buses back?
Four buses? Yeah!
261
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,399
Twice a day? Eight buses.
262
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,959
Seven days a week, fifty six buses!
263
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,759
Yeah! If the man had any decency,
he'd fuckin' die!
264
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,999
Agnes!
265
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,040
I'm only joking!
266
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,879
It's not a bypass he needs,
it's a bus pass!
267
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,519
Well,
thank God he's coming home tomorrow!
268
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,039
Yes. I'll tell the bus company,
269
00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,360
they can let some staff go!
270
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,599
So, Father...
271
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,639
busy?
272
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:33,879
Well, er...
273
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,559
No, not too bad.
274
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,199
This time of year tends
to be quiet. Oh!
275
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,760
It's open!
276
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,320
I'm so sorry I'm late, Mrs Brown...
277
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:46,999
Oh, hello, Father Quinn.
278
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,399
Where's Dermot?
Yes, Mrs Brown, where IS Dermot?
279
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,159
He's in the cupboard!
280
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,959
The cupboard? Are you OK, Dermot?
281
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,839
Yes, love!
282
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,400
Right, then...
283
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,079
let's begin.
But the groom is in the cupboard.
284
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,639
How can we have a pre-marriage
talk with him in there?
285
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,679
Did you hear that, Dermot? Yes!
286
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,759
He can hear you, Father. Go ahead!
287
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,840
Well...
288
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,399
You two, having declared
your intention to marry,
289
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,839
will be asked on the wedding day
to make certain vows,
290
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:23,599
now, not just to each other
but to the Lord Almighty himself.
Now, do you understand this?
291
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,759
Yes. What vows?
292
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,599
Well, to bring your children up
as strong and Christian soldiers.
293
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,919
Are we expecting a war, Father?
294
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:37,279
And you know the church's stance
on contraception and divorce?
295
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,440
Yes, and you need to cop on.
296
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:45,040
Look, Father, if you don't play the
game, don't make the feckin' rules!
297
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,799
Mrs Brown!
298
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,279
Father, marriages aren't made in
heaven, they're made here in Finglas,
299
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,479
or in Birmingham,
or Liverpool, or New York.
300
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,080
And it's tough.
301
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,079
You fight with each other,
you love each other
302
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,599
and sometimes you'll feckin' hate
each other. But with God's help...
303
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,959
Ah, "With God's help..."
304
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,639
God'll help you stay sane,
the rest is up to you!
305
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,439
It's about respect
and learning to love!
306
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,879
Yes, and children! Learning to
love your children, no matter what.
307
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,159
Whether they go to prison, or lock
themselves in a feckin' cupboard,
308
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,079
or even if they're homosexual.
Am I right, Father?
309
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,399
Well, er... homosexual is a bit...
310
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,439
And if you get it right, and I
think these two have got it right...
311
00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,399
Oh, Maria,
312
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,440
you can be happy. Happier
than you ever thought possible.
313
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,999
There's your
pre-marriage chat, Maria...
314
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,480
Do you have anything
to add to that, Father?
315
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,320
No.
316
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,319
Not a thing. Thank you, Father.
317
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,480
Goodnight and God bless you.
318
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,639
Goodnight, Dermot. Father, you're
talking to the ironing board now.
319
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,999
Goodnight, Dermot.
320
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,040
Goodnight, Father.
321
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,759
Rory...
322
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,319
I want to talk to you...
about your illness.
323
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,679
Mammy, it's not an illness!
Well, it's not normal!
324
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,160
Mammy!
325
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,559
Fine.
326
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,919
Rory...
327
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,239
what I'm trying to say is...
328
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,999
you are what you are. Whatever you
are, I will always be your mother.
329
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,359
And I want you to know that it
doesn't matter how far we are apart,
330
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,959
or long we are apart,
I will always be here waiting...
331
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,279
with a loving heart.
332
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,679
Awww! It's nice, isn't it? Yeah.
333
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,359
I read it on a card!
334
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,639
May you rest in peace.
335
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,839
Mammy!
336
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:51,440
Sorry.
337
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,559
Rory,
what I am trying to say is...
338
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:59,680
have you ever considered
that you might be... homosexual?
339
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,119
Now, I know this comes
as a bit of a shock.
340
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:10,319
And you probably want to think about
it, but here's a book. Here!
341
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,079
That'll explain everything,
342
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,879
except why Cathy hasn't got
a boyfriend even though
she's not lesbian or gay.
343
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,759
Mammy!
344
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,879
Sorry.
345
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,880
Thanks, Mammy.
346
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,160
Oh, you're hurting Mammy now!
347
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,839
OK, erm...
348
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,440
I'd better go and... read.
Do, love.
349
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,720
Well, Mammy, I thought
you handled that very well.
350
00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:45,079
It wasn't easy, it was difficult.
351
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,679
I hope Rory never has to have that
talk with any of his own children.
352
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,559
Dermot, love...
353
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,400
your wedding suit is here.
I don't care!
354
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,919
You should go up and have a bath
for the big day tomorrow.
355
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,760
No. Go away.
356
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,879
Cathy, what are we going to do?
357
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,360
The wedding's tomorrow and we won't
all fit in that fuckin' cupboard!
358
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,519
Mrs Brown,
I think I have it this time...
359
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,319
Lovely. Leave it on the table,
Buster. I'll read it later.
360
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,119
God, Buster, you look exhausted!
361
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,719
I am, Cathy,
I haven't slept for two days.
362
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,639
Well, you want to sleep tonight.
We need you fresh tomorrow!
363
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,639
Don't worry.
364
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,719
Hold on, Buster. Yeah? Read this
to Mammy and see what she thinks.
365
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,319
Leave it there. I'll read it later.
No, Mammy. Listen now. Sit down.
366
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,480
Here, Buster...
367
00:20:43,481 --> 00:20:45,080
Read!
368
00:20:51,401 --> 00:20:54,239
"Ladies and gentlemen
and the Reverend Father."
369
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,440
Yeah, very well done, well done.
370
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,479
"Can you believe that
Dermot Brown is married?
371
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,080
"And to such a beautiful girl."
372
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,240
From there.
373
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,119
But you're skipping me joke about
the camel, the nun and the coconut!
374
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:13,599
We'll live... read!
375
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,479
Let's hope the camel does.
376
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:21,399
"I don't know why Dermo picked me
to be his best friend...
377
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,719
"but I'm really glad he did.
378
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,600
"All I ever wanted to be
when I grew up was Dermot Brown.
379
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,839
"He's the one who makes you laugh
380
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,520
"even when you're in prison."
381
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,080
I'll take that out.
382
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:48,719
"I don't know why, but someone,
somewhere looked down on me
and thought...
383
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,880
"'that eejit
needs a guardian angel'...
384
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,400
"and they sent Dermot Brown."
385
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,680
I'm going up for me bath!
386
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,360
So, what do you want changed?
387
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:13,159
Nothing. I think it's
absolutely perfect, Buster.
388
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,280
Oh, yes!
389
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,719
So, Winnie, Jacko's blind now, is he?
390
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,319
It was his own fault, Agnes.
391
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,519
He was dying for a cigarette as
soon as he got out of that hospital!
392
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,000
If only he'd taken off
the oxygen mask!
393
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,799
Yeah.
394
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,799
Whooooo! Wah-hey!
395
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,199
God, I'd nearly go straight myself!
396
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,079
Really?! No!
397
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,799
Not even Father Quinn
will be safe today!
398
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,840
Shag off!
399
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,719
Well, well, Cathy.
400
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,719
You look different!
401
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:09,360
So what do you think, Mammy? I think
you've never looked more beautiful.
402
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,599
Mammy, that's the suit
from Marcelle's window.
403
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,039
Isn't it beautiful? You couldn't
afford that. Where did you get it?
404
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,000
It was a surprise, I came out
of the shower and someone left it
on the bed for me!
405
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,079
Grandad, you can't go like that!
406
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,519
Ma, Grandad's stripped again!
407
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,399
Oh, for God's sake, Cathy.
I thought I told you to dress him!
408
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,159
Yeah, Mammy, twice already.
He keeps taking off the suit!
409
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,199
Well, go back up and put it on him.
410
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:47,120
And staple the feckin' thing
to him if you have to!
411
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,079
Well, at least he's wearing
more than Cathy!
412
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,640
Careful, Winnie, you'll end up having
a meal through a tube beside Jacko.
413
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,119
"Ladies and gentlemen
and the Reverend Father..."
414
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,080
Yeah! We've heard it before. Get out!
415
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,879
Here, Agnes...
416
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,360
remember the excitement
the morning of my wedding?
417
00:24:08,361 --> 00:24:10,599
I do. Sure, mine was the same!
418
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,519
I remember standing on the altar and
the priest looked at me and he said,
419
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,279
"Agnes, do you take...
420
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,559
"this... to be
your lawfully wedded husband?"
421
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:26,319
And I remember, I looked
into Jacko's eyes and I whispered,
"I do".
422
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:30,279
I remember, I looked into
Redser's eyes and I said,
423
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,640
"I'll see."
424
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,319
Here, you had that Father...
425
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,239
Oh, what was his name? Oh, erm...
426
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,199
Father McCrum!
Right, Agnes, McCrum.
427
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,279
And in his deep voice, he said,
428
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,559
"I now pronounce you man and wife!"
Yes...
429
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,279
and then me waters broke! Yeah!
430
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,599
Well, someone's having a good time!
431
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:56,519
Hello! Hiya!
We were just over at Maria's...
432
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:00,359
She looks stunning! Does she?
And her hair's only fabulous!
433
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:01,559
Of course!
434
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,759
OK, everybody.
435
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,639
It's the big moment.
436
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,039
Ladies and gentlemen...
Dermot Brown!
437
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,719
Oh, my God, Dermot...
438
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,519
you look amazing! Thanks, Mammy!
439
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,479
It only feels like yesterday
I was bathing you...
440
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,919
It was yesterday!
441
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,079
Dermot, son...
442
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,200
I've never told you
that I'm proud of you.
443
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,919
Right.
444
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:40,239
Let's get down to the church
and get this thing feckin' started!
445
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,439
Get the flowers! Get the flowers!
446
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,120
I'll get the feckin' flowers!
447
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,359
Well, that's that then...
448
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,680
Another one gone. Huh!
449
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:01,159
It's always difficult for a mother
when another one leaves the nest.
450
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,919
But that's our job, you know,
451
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:06,800
to get them ready to go out into
the mad, mad world on their own.
452
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:13,839
It'll be strange to look
into Dermot's bedroom
and just see an empty bed...
453
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,839
and a stack of dirty magazines!
454
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,439
Mammy! Dermot?
455
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:22,039
Is there any chance Maria and me
can stay here for a while,
456
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,760
just until we get
a place of our own?
457
00:26:23,761 --> 00:26:27,999
Of course. You and Maria can stay
here for as long as you like.
As long as you feckin' like!
458
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,799
Thanks, Ma.
That's a load off me mind.
459
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,319
It's a load off my mind!
460
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,080
Will I ever get feckin' rid of them?
461
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:41,800
I'll see you, goodbye!
35510
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