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1
00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:17,609
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!
2
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,889
It's going to be a very
fancy wedding, Dermot.
3
00:00:29,890 --> 00:00:33,409
I know. I wish they'd picked
somewhere else. It's too fancy.
4
00:00:33,410 --> 00:00:36,449
Here, Auntie Mary
and Tommy the sprinter's coming.
5
00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:39,169
We'd better make sure this
place has a disabled entrance.
6
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:41,369
He has only one leg.
7
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:43,089
It's the Ritz Crown Hotel, Mammy.
8
00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:45,329
It has everything.
9
00:00:45,330 --> 00:00:47,849
Annie Gibney is coming.
She's an alcoholic.
10
00:00:47,850 --> 00:00:50,369
We'd better make sure it
has a disabled exit as well.
11
00:00:50,370 --> 00:00:53,929
Your Uncle Gonzo rang.
12
00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:56,690
He wanted to know what
"morning wear" was.
13
00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:01,050
I told him
just to come in his pyjamas.
14
00:01:03,170 --> 00:01:06,569
That's what I mean, too fancy.
A seven course meal, Mammy.
15
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:08,369
It'll be nice, Dermot.
16
00:01:08,370 --> 00:01:11,329
Mammy, there are people dying
of starvation in the world.
17
00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,049
Fine, what's their names?
I'll put them on the list.
18
00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:17,689
Just forget it. Mrs Nicholson needs
to know how many are coming
19
00:01:17,690 --> 00:01:19,729
from our side by the end of the day.
20
00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,369
Well, with Cathy and Mick...
21
00:01:21,370 --> 00:01:24,649
Mick's not coming. He has to work.
He can get off for a wedding.
22
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:26,530
He's not coming. End of discussion.
23
00:01:26,531 --> 00:01:29,769
Well, with Cathy dumped,
that means... 43.
24
00:01:29,770 --> 00:01:33,489
Oh, are you bringing a
girl to the wedding, Rory?
25
00:01:33,490 --> 00:01:36,329
Well, I was going to
invite Dino from work.
26
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:40,209
Oh, lovely! You'll probably
both be bringing girls.
27
00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:42,009
I'll put it down as 46!
28
00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:44,329
Well. Mammy... Not now, Rory.
29
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:48,089
Right, Mammy, will you ring Maria's
mother and let her know today?
I will.
30
00:01:48,090 --> 00:01:50,889
That way, I can go to the stag party
with me head clear.
31
00:01:50,890 --> 00:01:54,649
And we can go to
the hen party with our head clear.
32
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:55,890
How are you, Winnie?
33
00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:58,289
Cup of tea, love? Ah, no, love.
34
00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:01,009
I'm heading down to
hospital to visit Jacko.
35
00:02:01,010 --> 00:02:03,729
And I'm bringing him home this week.
Again?
36
00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:07,329
Well, Dermot, are you all set
for the big day? More or less.
37
00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:09,889
Fancy hotel and all, eh?
38
00:02:09,890 --> 00:02:12,649
Your father would be very
proud of you. Lord rest him.
39
00:02:12,650 --> 00:02:14,529
Yeah, whatever.
40
00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:19,489
I'll never forget what my father
said to me the first time I went
to prison. What did he say?
41
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:22,129
Hello, son.
42
00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:25,409
Come on, you. Let's pick up the
suits. I have to get to work.
43
00:02:25,410 --> 00:02:28,409
Hang on, Dermot,
I'll take a lift with you.
44
00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:31,889
Mammy? Yes, love? If you get a
chance, can I have a chat with you?
45
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,410
You can have a chat now if you like.
46
00:02:33,411 --> 00:02:36,609
No. Later, just you and me.
47
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:38,289
All right, love. See you later.
48
00:02:38,290 --> 00:02:40,489
Mammy, you should give
the hen party a miss.
49
00:02:40,490 --> 00:02:43,090
It's going to be all,
you know, young people.
50
00:02:45,810 --> 00:02:48,969
Cathy, you're only as young as
you feel, and me and Winnie
51
00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:51,169
feel like two
cocker spaniels in heat.
52
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:52,410
Woof, woof!
53
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,089
OK, you are not invited.
54
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:01,289
You're too old for hen
parties, so you're not invited.
55
00:03:01,290 --> 00:03:04,089
Are you happy now
you got me to say it?
56
00:03:04,090 --> 00:03:07,369
It's a hen party for young people.
57
00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:11,209
It's embarrassing watching old
women pretending to be teenagers!
58
00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:12,889
You leave Winnie alone!
59
00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:17,809
There's Grandad banging down again.
60
00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:19,929
Is there anybody down there?
61
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:21,489
Mammy?
62
00:03:21,490 --> 00:03:24,009
No!
63
00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:27,969
Who's that, then?
Polly the fuckin' parrot.
64
00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:31,409
Now, go to sleep.
Me hot water bottle is leaking.
65
00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:34,769
What did he say?
His hot water bottle is leaking.
66
00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:37,250
He doesn't have a hot
water bottle, Mammy!
67
00:03:40,890 --> 00:03:43,009
Cathy, go up and see
what he wants, will you?
68
00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,849
I'll get our clean sheets.
69
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,530
Never mind clean sheets,
get a fookin' lifeboat.
70
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:51,009
That's the first time, you know.
71
00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:54,130
First time I've been told that
I'm too old for something.
72
00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:57,329
The cheek of her!
73
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,969
I think it's all right to
pretend to be a teenager,
74
00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:01,649
or anything else you want to be.
75
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:03,890
He's grand. Not yet, Winnie. Jesus!
76
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:11,449
I mean, after all, God knows
you're an adult for long enough.
77
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:14,530
I think you should stay as young
as you can for as long as you can.
78
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,810
OK, Winnie.
79
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:25,249
He's grand. Cathy sorted him out.
80
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,129
We're going to that hen party.
81
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:29,409
Agnes, you heard what Cathy said.
82
00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:32,049
We're not invited.
Cathy is not the boss of us.
83
00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:35,769
Now, listen,
we have to find out where it is,
84
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:38,210
and we're going to crash it.
85
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,610
I'll show them how to party!
86
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,330
I thought they were extinct.
87
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:05,730
We're home, Mammy.
88
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,569
Hello, Cathy. Hello, Betty.
89
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,769
Well, you two have been busy.
90
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,769
I'm exhausted, but it was worth it.
91
00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:17,089
I got me dress for the wedding. Oh,
give us a look at it. Where's Maria?
92
00:05:17,090 --> 00:05:18,449
At home at her mother's.
93
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:21,529
We just came from there.
We had tea on the patio. Patio?
94
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:22,729
Excuse me!
95
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:26,329
Rory and Dino were there, going
over the hairstyles for the big day.
96
00:05:26,330 --> 00:05:27,410
That's nice. Da-da!
97
00:05:29,170 --> 00:05:33,249
Is Ann Summers selling
off their old stock?
98
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,809
No, Mammy, it's me dress for
the wedding! What do you think?
99
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,529
It's very feckin'...
100
00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:40,209
what's the word I'm looking for?
101
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:42,929
Classy. Red!
102
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:44,529
It's supposed to be red.
103
00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:47,169
Is it supposed to be slapper red?
104
00:05:47,170 --> 00:05:49,449
Ah, Mammy! Let me look at it again.
105
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,809
I didn't really see it.
106
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,770
Turn around.
Not you, the feckin' dress!
107
00:05:57,730 --> 00:06:01,769
I suppose it will be fine.
I better put it away upstairs.
108
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:04,129
Do, Cathy, and hide it.
109
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:07,129
I'm telling you, if word
gets out that that's here,
110
00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:09,809
we'll be broken into.
By the fashion police.
111
00:06:09,810 --> 00:06:12,849
I'll see you tomorrow night, Betty -
for the hen party!
112
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:16,449
Right, Cathy. Are you looking
forward to the hen party, Betty?
113
00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:19,369
Aye, it should be great craic.
It should be great craic!
114
00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:21,850
I haven't been to that place
in years. What do you call it?
115
00:06:21,851 --> 00:06:23,370
The hairdresser's?
116
00:06:24,930 --> 00:06:29,169
Very funny! Cathy says
you're barred from the hen
party, so you may give up.
117
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:31,689
Nobody's going to
tell you where it is.
118
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:34,289
Fine, but if you're really her
friend, you won't let her
119
00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:37,129
go to the wedding in that feckin'
dress! Why not? It's lovely.
120
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:42,090
Lovely? She puts that on, you're
only waiting for her to go
"ten dollar, me love you long time!"
121
00:06:44,850 --> 00:06:50,169
No, she won't.
You're just out of touch
with fashion. I know fashion, love.
122
00:06:50,170 --> 00:06:53,089
I love that coat on you, and I
have done for the last five years.
123
00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:57,210
Every time I see it, I think "I must
put the black bags out tonight".
124
00:06:58,570 --> 00:07:01,409
Good luck! Hiya, boys.
125
00:07:01,410 --> 00:07:03,529
Hiya, Betty. Here's the groom!
126
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,369
Hello, son.
127
00:07:05,370 --> 00:07:08,250
Don't even feckin' think about it.
128
00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:13,329
Cathy and Betty were just down in
Maria's house.
129
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:15,209
Tea on the patio.
130
00:07:15,210 --> 00:07:17,129
They said it's a nice house.
131
00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:19,089
When you walk into the hall,
132
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:22,609
on the ceiling there's a
big... what do ya call it?
133
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,609
A night vision camera?
134
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,489
Crystal chandelier!
135
00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:30,049
And to get to the patio,
you go through the dining room.
136
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:34,649
Past the motion sensors.
Exactly! How do you know?
137
00:07:34,650 --> 00:07:38,569
It must be a big house. Big enough.
138
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:41,609
And they have two toilets.
One upstairs and one downstairs.
139
00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:43,849
Two toilets? For what?
140
00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,089
What do they do, get up
in the morning and go
141
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,690
"Oh, where will I shit today?"
142
00:07:51,290 --> 00:07:53,410
They only have the one arse.
143
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:57,769
Mind you, a toilet downstairs, eh?
144
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,649
I'd say it'd be feckin' handy.
145
00:08:00,650 --> 00:08:02,170
Here you go, love. Thanks, Ma.
146
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,729
What's this?
A wedding present from Buster.
147
00:08:06,730 --> 00:08:08,250
Oh, nice.
148
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:15,729
A VDV player? How can you
afford things like that, Buster?
149
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:19,769
I know a fella who does them cheap.
Why does he cut the plug off?
150
00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,369
Right, well, I'm off.
151
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:24,889
I'll see you tomorrow
for the stag party. See you, Buster.
152
00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,010
Oh!
153
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:30,970
The cheek of him!
154
00:08:30,971 --> 00:08:35,089
Dermot, just cos she has a big
house, doesn't make it a home. True.
155
00:08:35,090 --> 00:08:36,809
And I'd say that's her, you know.
156
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:38,489
Big house, no home.
157
00:08:38,490 --> 00:08:41,529
Yeah, fur coat, no knickers!
158
00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:44,729
She's like
a prostitute on her night off. What?
159
00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:48,050
All dressed up and no-one to blow!
160
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,089
Is that funny, Dermot?
161
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:57,650
Yeah, Ma. I don't feckin' get it.
162
00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,930
I read that in one
of your magazines.
163
00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:05,689
Dermot, what's a blow job?
164
00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:07,730
20 quid, Ma.
165
00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:13,530
I thought 20 quid was a score?
166
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:18,209
They change the feckin'
language every day now.
167
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:22,849
Dermot, where are yous having the
stag party? In Foley's, I suppose?
168
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:25,289
No. We're not going near Foley's.
169
00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:28,249
Mark said Betty is meeting Cathy and
Barbara there for the hen party,
170
00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:29,810
and we don't want to bump into them.
171
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,610
The hen party is in Foley's!
172
00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:46,770
That's perfect! Perfect!
173
00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:52,289
How long does it take you to fit it,
Mr O'Connor? Usually,
we're in and out in a day. A day?
174
00:09:52,290 --> 00:09:54,929
Could you do it tomorrow?
Oh, no. I'm far too busy.
175
00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:57,770
I'll make it worth your while.
I'll give you an extra blow job.
176
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:02,489
Where do you want it fitted?
177
00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:04,010
Here! Here!
178
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:09,609
Oh, wait, there's
a chip gone out of this.
179
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:13,049
Somebody must have shit
a brick. Are you sure?
180
00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:16,609
I'm positive! But look,
you won't be able to, like...
181
00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:20,290
You worry about the fittin'.
I'll worry about the shittin'!
182
00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:26,729
I'll see you tomorrrow,
Mr O'Connell. And if there's
anybody that'll
183
00:10:26,730 --> 00:10:28,489
help you fit it, bring them along.
184
00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:30,970
There's a blow job in
it for them as well.
185
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:37,530
Thanks, Barbara!
Aye, cheers, Barbara!
186
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,450
Ah, for Christ's sake!
187
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:49,289
You all set for the party, girls?
188
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:53,369
For God's sake, Mrs McGoogan, you
were told that yous weren't invited!
189
00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:56,169
Well, we're here now,
so live with it.
190
00:10:56,170 --> 00:11:00,609
Jesus, I don't know half the
people here. Where's Maria?
191
00:11:00,610 --> 00:11:02,569
Winnie, this is not the hen party.
192
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:04,929
The hen party is in a nightclub.
193
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,529
So what's all this, then?
194
00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:09,289
It's the funeral
party for Mr Murphy.
195
00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,689
Oh, good God, no!
196
00:11:11,690 --> 00:11:13,809
♪ Sex bomb, sex bomb
197
00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:15,569
♪ You're my sex bomb
198
00:11:15,570 --> 00:11:17,009
♪ You can really do it
199
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,609
♪ when I want to come along
200
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,249
♪ Sex bomb, sex bomb
201
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:21,530
♪ you're my sex bomb
202
00:11:21,531 --> 00:11:24,450
♪ You can really turn me on
203
00:11:25,410 --> 00:11:27,650
♪ You can really turn me on! ♪
204
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:32,250
Agnes,
this is Paddy Murphy's funeral!
205
00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:36,649
Lovely man. I always liked him.
206
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:39,210
Winnie, come on!
207
00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:48,929
No, no. No, that's an awful feckin'
smell. Smell, smell!
208
00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:51,769
It's gas, missus! You have a leak.
209
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:55,049
It's only slight, but I'd have
it checked out all the same.
210
00:11:55,050 --> 00:11:57,649
Here, give yer man a shout.
He'll sort you out.
211
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,209
I will, Mr O'Connell.
Thanks very much for coming over.
212
00:12:00,210 --> 00:12:01,729
No problem. Oh, hold on.
213
00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:04,449
I nearly forgot. Your blow job!
214
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:07,569
Ah, no. No, thanks. Good luck!
215
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,970
Suit yourself.
216
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,609
Mammy?
217
00:12:13,610 --> 00:12:16,849
Yes, love? Would now be a good
time to have a chat with you?
218
00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:20,770
Well, go up and get dressed,
and I'll talk to you
before you go to work.
219
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:24,409
Ah, now, here's Venus and Serena.
220
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,289
Morning, Mammy. Good morning, son.
221
00:12:26,290 --> 00:12:28,569
Morning, Mammy.
Don't "good morning, Mammy" me,
222
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:31,209
Buster Brady. The carry on
of you in this house last night.
223
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,929
How dare you bring a woman
back to this house? A woman?
224
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:35,889
I got a chick last night. A chick?
225
00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:38,090
She was in my class in school!
226
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:44,329
I nearly died when I came
down and saw her sitting there.
227
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,009
"Hello, Agnes."
228
00:12:46,010 --> 00:12:47,930
"Hello, teacher".
229
00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:54,169
Do you want breakfast?
230
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:55,690
Just a cup of tea, Mammy.
231
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:04,369
Are you in there? Yes!
232
00:13:04,370 --> 00:13:06,969
Mammy, you need to know.
233
00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:08,529
I'm gay.
234
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:11,450
I love Dino, and I
want the world to know.
235
00:13:13,850 --> 00:13:15,529
Are you upset?
236
00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:23,889
Oh, Mammy, I knew you'd take
it hard, but please try
to think of my happiness.
237
00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:29,089
Oh, Mammy!
238
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:31,209
How can I be happy?
239
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,610
Please try to think of me!
240
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:36,370
Well, you can get off the feckin'
floor for starters! Aaaagh! Aaaah!
241
00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,769
What is wrong with you?
242
00:13:42,770 --> 00:13:45,489
Mammy,
I need to come out of the closet!
243
00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:49,649
You'll have to wait until
Buster's finished to go in first!
244
00:13:49,650 --> 00:13:51,249
Rory!
245
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:52,770
Rory, are you all right?
246
00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:57,130
What's wrong with him?
Diarrhoea, I think.
247
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:03,449
Look at the head on you.
You had some to drink last night.
248
00:14:03,450 --> 00:14:05,649
Look who's talking!
You were as bad yourself.
249
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:07,649
I was, wasn't I!
250
00:14:07,650 --> 00:14:12,369
Here, I left me dick in the taxi.
Oh, no!
251
00:14:12,370 --> 00:14:17,010
There's a taxi going round Dublin
somewhere now with two pricks in it!
252
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:21,529
Are you ringing her to cancel?
253
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:27,449
What? You invited Mrs Nicholson
here to dinner on Friday night.
254
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,689
Sweet lovin' St. Jude!
255
00:14:29,690 --> 00:14:35,329
What's wrong with Mammy? She only
invited your future mother-in-law to
dinner here Friday night. No way!
256
00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:37,729
Way! What am I going to
give her to eat, Dermot?
257
00:14:37,730 --> 00:14:41,129
You know better her than anyone.
What does she like to eat? I dunno.
258
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,929
You can see her face, can't you?
259
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:45,770
When I go
"I feel like chicken tonight".
260
00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:50,930
And her expecting something
fancy like tadpole's arseholes.
261
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:57,609
Oh, what am I going to do?
I'll cook!
262
00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:00,009
Rory. I love you dearly son,
263
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:04,129
but you're the only man I
know who can burn boiled eggs!
264
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:06,609
Mammy, I'll get
Dino from work to help me.
265
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:10,409
Dino from Wash and Blow? Dino was
a chef before he was a stylist.
266
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,049
A chef! He's a Cordon Bleu!
267
00:15:12,050 --> 00:15:14,369
I couldn't give a shite what
colour he is,
268
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:17,249
as long as he can
feckin' cook. We're getting a chef.
269
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,249
We're getting a feckin' chef!
270
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,570
The last time I had a chef
in this house he put...
271
00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:27,010
It's none of your feckin' business!
272
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:38,530
Mammy, go easy on the drink!
273
00:15:40,050 --> 00:15:44,410
I'm waiting for an hour for her
to ask me where the toilet is so
I can show off me new toilet.
274
00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,890
She's too posh to piss!
275
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:55,969
All right Hillary? Well, actually.
I think I can smell gas.
276
00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,650
No. that's just him.
277
00:15:59,690 --> 00:16:01,130
How's your drink, Hillary?
278
00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:05,250
It tastes like cider. It is. Bulmers.
279
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:08,970
I asked for champagne?
Well, you can fuck off!
280
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:16,129
I'll just check with the lads
how the starters are coming.
281
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:19,249
Do you need to go anywhere?
282
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:22,610
Oh, no. no. thank you. I'm fine.
283
00:16:26,810 --> 00:16:30,970
Almost ready, Mrs B! Has she
asked to use the toilet yet? No.
284
00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:38,890
I do wish you wouldn't stare at me.
285
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:46,049
I'll use it, Mrs B. What, Dino?
286
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:48,129
The toilet. I'll use it.
287
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,810
Ah, no, Dino I need her to get...
288
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,290
You're right. it's a great idea.
289
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:57,890
All you need to do is
ask me where it is!
290
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:03,090
Just give me a second then come in.
291
00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:11,490
Nearly ready. The boys are just
finishing the Horses Doovers.
292
00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:19,409
Excuse me, Mrs Brown. Yes, Dino?
293
00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:22,729
Where is the toilet?
Oh. the toilet? Well,
294
00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:25,529
you could take your
pick of the two.
295
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:27,730
The one upstairs or the on...
296
00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:32,970
the on sweety over there.
297
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:35,409
Oh, that's handy.
298
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:38,009
Yes, it is handy. Yes, it is.
299
00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,410
I'll use that one.
Whichever you like! Two.
300
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:44,369
Psst!
301
00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:47,450
Excuse me a second.
302
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:52,089
What? Mrs Brown, I'm too big!
303
00:17:52,090 --> 00:17:55,770
Oh, If I had a pound
for every man that said that.
304
00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,410
Watch me. Just watch.
305
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:36,890
Mammy! What's wrong?
306
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:42,369
Dino is wearing suspenders!
307
00:18:42,370 --> 00:18:44,209
Oh, Rory.
308
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,169
I think he's a trans-testicle.
309
00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:50,129
Mammy, there's something I have to
tell you.
310
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:53,769
Not now love. Just serve the meal.
But, Mammy... I'm in shock, love!
311
00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:55,330
Just serve the feckin' meal!
312
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:03,409
I hope you flushed that!
313
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,570
We're ready now.
If you'd like to shit up.
314
00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:16,369
Thank you, love. Oh,
this looks interesting. What is it?
315
00:19:16,370 --> 00:19:18,170
It's called soup.
316
00:19:21,850 --> 00:19:24,329
Oh, wait. wait. It's cold.
317
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,369
Mine is cold.
318
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:27,969
Hers is fuckin' cold!
319
00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:30,849
It's cold, Rory!
320
00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:33,929
Mammy. it's gazpacho.
It's supposed to be cold.
321
00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:38,049
Oh, don't be feckin' ridiculous.
Cold soup?!
322
00:19:38,050 --> 00:19:40,689
Take it back and tell Dino
to heat it up.
323
00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:43,930
Don't mind. Just take it back
and heat it up. Heat it up, Rory.
324
00:19:47,290 --> 00:19:48,810
I so sorry.
325
00:19:51,810 --> 00:19:54,729
I say, Agnes. Um.
What's for main course?
326
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:55,890
Salmon.
327
00:19:56,850 --> 00:20:00,850
Oh, my favourite. Oh, good,
cos we're getting a whole tin each.
328
00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:08,529
I say Hillary.
329
00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:13,409
Hillary, I believe your
house was broken into? Yes, it was.
330
00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:15,009
Oh, how furking awful.
331
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:16,769
Did the bisterds get anything?
332
00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:22,489
Sorry? The bisterds what
done the broking inning,
333
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:25,409
did they get anything?
334
00:20:25,410 --> 00:20:27,450
Yes. yes. They got the forking DVD.
335
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:34,090
DVD?
336
00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:39,370
The forking DVD?
Ours is a Phillips.
337
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:46,409
They're probably all the same you
know. they're probably all German.
338
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:48,729
They just
put a different name on them.
339
00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:52,609
You can do anything with words,
that's what my husband used to say.
340
00:20:52,610 --> 00:20:55,809
He was great with words.
341
00:20:55,810 --> 00:20:58,329
If the children
were listening he'd spell them.
342
00:20:58,330 --> 00:20:59,769
You know, he'd say,
343
00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:03,009
"Agnes do you want to go
up S. T. I. A. R. S..."
344
00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:04,889
Ah! How nice!
345
00:21:04,890 --> 00:21:07,850
"for a fuck?"
346
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:17,249
It's hard...
347
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:23,649
It's hard to think that there
were five people living har.
348
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,809
Har?!
349
00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:27,690
What's fuckin' har?
350
00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,329
Well. yes. Heeyer in the house.
351
00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:35,249
Heeyer in the hayse?!
352
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,250
HERE in the HOUSE!
353
00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:42,810
How do your teeth
not fuckin' fly out?
354
00:21:45,290 --> 00:21:48,210
No, Hillary.
You'd never take this five heeyer...
355
00:21:49,170 --> 00:21:51,370
And you wouldn' know why yee be.
356
00:21:53,130 --> 00:21:54,810
They could be anywah.
357
00:21:57,570 --> 00:22:00,329
Even in fuckin' cupboards.
358
00:22:00,330 --> 00:22:03,610
Excuse me a moment, please.
359
00:22:12,970 --> 00:22:15,729
Rory, I can't take this any more!
Mammy, what's wrong?
360
00:22:15,730 --> 00:22:17,890
Grandad is in the
cupboard havin' a shit!
361
00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:22,409
Rory, we need a plan.
362
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:27,049
You get Grandad out of the cupboard
and put him into the toilet.
363
00:22:27,050 --> 00:22:28,849
I'll stop her from looking. Right.
364
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:31,010
Dino. Yes? You stay fuckin' here.
365
00:22:36,650 --> 00:22:38,010
You can fuck off!
366
00:22:41,210 --> 00:22:42,929
Is everything all right?
367
00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:46,369
Yes, everything is beautiful, yes.
368
00:22:46,370 --> 00:22:48,209
Do you like to sing?
369
00:22:48,210 --> 00:22:50,449
To sing?!
# Oh, when the saints
370
00:22:50,450 --> 00:22:51,650
♪ Go marching in. ♪
371
00:22:52,690 --> 00:22:54,689
♪ Oh, when the saints
go marching in. ♪
372
00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:56,529
Rory, the fag. Get the fag.
373
00:22:56,530 --> 00:22:57,610
♪ I want to be. ♪
374
00:22:57,611 --> 00:22:59,649
You called, Mrs Brown?
375
00:22:59,650 --> 00:23:03,569
♪ Oh, when the saints go marching in
376
00:23:03,570 --> 00:23:05,009
♪ Oh, when the saints
377
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:06,210
♪ Go marching in. ♪
378
00:23:06,211 --> 00:23:09,570
Hey, hey, hey!
We're finished all right.
379
00:23:10,730 --> 00:23:14,089
Just drink. Rory, get the door.
380
00:23:14,090 --> 00:23:15,609
Have a drink!
381
00:23:15,610 --> 00:23:18,130
No. no. actually I've... Oh!
Have a fucking drink.
382
00:23:21,770 --> 00:23:22,769
Mrs Brown.
383
00:23:22,770 --> 00:23:25,649
Father Quinn!
Mrs Murphy is dreadfully upset about
384
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:28,809
your cabaret performance
at her husband's funeral!
385
00:23:28,810 --> 00:23:31,289
Cabaret at a funeral?!
386
00:23:31,290 --> 00:23:32,450
No, it was a mistake.
387
00:23:32,451 --> 00:23:36,929
It was a hen party. We were having a
hen party. A hen party at a funeral!
388
00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:39,649
No, no. It was a mistake!
Oh, it was a mistake? Yes.
389
00:23:39,650 --> 00:23:42,049
The long boots
and the fishnet stockings?
390
00:23:42,050 --> 00:23:47,169
Fishnet stockings at a funeral?!
Will you shut the fuck up!
391
00:23:47,170 --> 00:23:50,969
Mrs Brown!
Mrs Murphy, it was a mistake!
392
00:23:50,970 --> 00:23:55,609
Look, if your husband had lived
another day, there'd be no problem.
393
00:23:55,610 --> 00:23:59,289
Mrs Brown, Rory has something
important he needs to tell you.
394
00:23:59,290 --> 00:24:02,809
Dino, I'm sure it's important. Not
now. She is very upset, Mrs Brown.
395
00:24:02,810 --> 00:24:04,649
Well, I just apologised Father.
396
00:24:04,650 --> 00:24:06,570
What do you want?
The burning at the stake?
397
00:24:06,571 --> 00:24:09,370
Mrs Brown, it really is important.
398
00:24:11,610 --> 00:24:14,769
Do I have your attention? Yes!
399
00:24:14,770 --> 00:24:16,329
I am in the middle of a crisis.
400
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,690
I'm sure what you want to talk
about is important, but not NOW!
401
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:24,329
Look Father, I never
meant to upset her.
402
00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:26,769
Well, I'm sure
you'll think of some way
403
00:24:26,770 --> 00:24:30,690
to make things up to Mrs Murphy.
I will, Father. Right.
404
00:24:32,090 --> 00:24:33,969
Mrs Brown...
405
00:24:33,970 --> 00:24:36,849
More drink, Hillary?
406
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:37,889
Have a drink!
407
00:24:37,890 --> 00:24:41,569
Mammy, how could you?
He slipped, Rory. Dino come back!
408
00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:43,169
He slipped. You're a witness.
409
00:24:43,170 --> 00:24:47,569
He feckin' slipped! Rory.
Rory Brown get back!
He's gone out in that feckin' apron.
410
00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:49,130
People will think he's a sissy!
411
00:24:51,130 --> 00:24:53,969
That's all I need.
412
00:24:53,970 --> 00:24:56,889
Here's Maria.
413
00:24:56,890 --> 00:24:58,770
Hello. Hi, Mum. Get me out of here!
414
00:24:58,771 --> 00:25:01,410
This is a mad house!
415
00:25:02,450 --> 00:25:05,889
Maria, darling, why
wouldn't you listen to me?
416
00:25:05,890 --> 00:25:08,729
You cannot make a silk purse out of
a sow's ear.
417
00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:11,770
Come, Maria, we are going home.
418
00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:13,650
Maria!
419
00:25:14,210 --> 00:25:17,969
Mother, I am marrying Dermot Brown.
420
00:25:17,970 --> 00:25:19,689
I will be Maria Brown.
421
00:25:19,690 --> 00:25:21,849
I AM home!
422
00:25:21,850 --> 00:25:24,130
But these people are riff-raff!
423
00:25:24,970 --> 00:25:28,409
Oh, Mother! Maria.
424
00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:32,809
Riff raff? The reason why you
wouldn't recognise this, missus,
425
00:25:32,810 --> 00:25:34,809
is because this is a family.
426
00:25:34,810 --> 00:25:37,049
Something you would
know nothin' about.
427
00:25:37,050 --> 00:25:40,490
And that girl is your
daughter, she's not some
dog in a bloody dog show!
428
00:25:47,930 --> 00:25:53,569
Good girl, Betty. You took the
words right outta me feckin' mouth.
429
00:25:53,570 --> 00:25:56,890
And as for you, you
50 pence pole dancer.
430
00:25:58,450 --> 00:26:00,130
Is that the very best you can do? No.
431
00:26:00,131 --> 00:26:02,290
I feel sorry for the fuckin' pole.
432
00:26:04,130 --> 00:26:07,970
I'll have you know we are the most
respectable family on this street.
433
00:26:25,170 --> 00:26:31,850
Grandad's gone! I'm up here!
434
00:26:36,170 --> 00:26:40,089
Yes. Yes, I know.
Grandad? Oh, he's grand.
435
00:26:40,090 --> 00:26:41,690
Just a small headache.
436
00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:49,009
I just wanted to say
thanks, Betty, for last night.
437
00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:50,250
I was very proud of you.
438
00:26:50,251 --> 00:26:54,250
All right, love. Bye.
439
00:26:55,330 --> 00:26:56,689
That was Betty.
440
00:26:56,690 --> 00:27:00,689
So, Jacko didn't come home?
441
00:27:00,690 --> 00:27:03,889
No. He's got a broken collar bone
and his hip is out.
442
00:27:03,890 --> 00:27:06,849
More feckin' surgery.
You must feel awful.
443
00:27:06,850 --> 00:27:08,529
I blame the hospital, Agnes.
444
00:27:08,530 --> 00:27:11,649
It was them that insisted I
push him in a wheelchair.
445
00:27:11,650 --> 00:27:14,650
I don't think they meant
you to use the escalator.
446
00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:19,289
Now I'll have to go to Dermot
and Maria's wedding on me own.
447
00:27:19,290 --> 00:27:21,369
No, you won't. you'll be with me.
448
00:27:21,370 --> 00:27:23,290
See you later, Agnes.
449
00:27:24,810 --> 00:27:26,330
What a week.
450
00:27:28,050 --> 00:27:30,690
Jacko in a heap at the
bottom of the escalator.
451
00:27:32,210 --> 00:27:35,169
Mrs Murphy upset by my little
452
00:27:35,170 --> 00:27:37,450
kiss-o-gram at her husband's funeral
453
00:27:39,010 --> 00:27:41,530
and Grandad shit a nuclear bomb.
454
00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:47,169
Isn't life a feckin' rollercoaster?
455
00:27:47,170 --> 00:27:49,609
Goodnight!
35384
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