Original subtitles

Wake up my darling.

Honey, come on!

Honey. Be serious!

You know very well that I don't like doing that,

in broad daylight.

Not in broad daylight.

We've been married for two years and I still hear the same old story:

I don't want you to see me naked.

Turn off the light, oh especially turn off the light yes.

And I'm the weird one.

My dear.

You know very well that I love you.

But you can't do this anywhere, anytime.

I may be stupid but I don't like it when you're like this.

Why don't you try to understand it?

I am not a machine.

But my dear, there's more to life than that.

Not only that. From time to time, yes!

And what a comedy for her to undress.

Don't come in, I'm in the shower. So what? I'm her husband, right?

If you want, my dear, but turn off the light.

Light, especially no light...

And why not have your hands tied behind your back?

Listen to Gilbert.

We can't do this like animals.

And then shit, that's not normal.

Her or me, me or her?

What's the problem?

Are you in trouble?

I think there's something broken in there.

The car doesn't want to drive anymore, even though it was working fine, and that's it.

I'm no expert, but I can always look.

You are so kind! The French know how to do so many things.

Okay, try to get it started.

I'm sorry, I can't do anything more.

Oh, never mind! It's not really a big deal.

I'm not going to leave you here in the lurch like that.

Do you want me to call you a tow truck?

Oh, no need.

I'll call from home, I live nearby.

So I can drop you off.

Since you are so kind, I will give you some water.

And soap to wash your hands.

And then you won't do the...

How do you say that?

The breakdown?

Come on, come on, come on!

This way. Come wash your hands.

Whiskey?

Or red wine?

I'll have a coke if you don't mind.

Have you lost something?

Wait, I'll help you.

The first one to find it will be entitled to an indiscreet question.

- Okay? - Okay.

I won.

Cheater.

You're a bad player.

You are a married man. Shocking. A man married to a single woman.

What will the neighbors say?

How do you say that in French?

- Gossip. - That's it.

To gossip.

The neighbors will gossip.

And how long have you been married?

Ah, you must answer me, remember,

I won the game.

For two years, but it's not a very indiscreet question.

Well, in that case, I'm entitled to another question.

And love, is it going well?

You don't seem to understand me.

It must be my French playing tricks on me.

Wait, I'm thinking.

So.

Are you happy when you make love?

No.

What's up?

Did I say something stupid?

No, not really.

It's a natural thing, but we don't talk about it like that.

And yet, it is very important, isn't it?

I was married for four years. I'm divorced now.

Mental cruelty... Or something like that.

But my husband, he liked to make love in a certain...

Let's say weird way.

Not natural, always the same way.

I was willing,

but not always.

It was mono--

- Monotone. - That's it!

And it's monotony that kills love, right?

I totally agree.

Good, a smart man!

Look.

I'll show you something. If every night,

The woman did something like this.

And then like that.

And still like that.

Life would become sad for man,

Isn't that right?

If it's always the same woman...

Even though she is very beautiful...

He doesn't look at her anymore, he doesn't make love to her anymore. He's sad.

The woman is bored.

He cheats on her, and they divorce.

It's ugly, isn't it?

You don't agree?

I agree with you, absolutely.

It's obvious.

But if you were my husband,

every now and then I would do something like that.

Not the time to be drinking.

I would say: Darling...

Let's stay like this.

I don't think I've ever had such pleasure as today.

Never, never, had I made love like that.

With Sophie, it's not at all the same.

Hey, can we see each other again?

You know...

I still want you.

OK. If you want.

But you know, I'm not always nice.

I'm not kidding.

I want to live the way I want.

I don't want to belong to anyone.

I'm Barbara, that's all.

Do you understand?

I believe so.

Alright.

It's very simple.

When I can see you, I'll put a signal on the plane.

I'll hang my scarf on the propeller, is that okay?

Yes, okay.

Okay, I'll stop by in the morning on my way to the office.

Yes, very good.

So since we agree, ciao Gilbert!

Barbara...

I said ciao, Gilbert. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

Very well. Goodbye.

Do you like it?

It's not bad.

You see, you didn't suffer for nothing.

Here, try on your jacket.

I repaired the sleeve.

Do you love me?

Gilbert, answer me, do you love me?

Yes.

You can so better than that.

Yes my love.

You're going to mess up my hair.

Perfect. We're going to bed.

Already? But I'm not sleepy.

It's only half past nine.

I didn't say we were going to sleep.

I said we're going to bed.

But Gilbert!

Up, up!

Honey, can you pass me my nightgown? It's on the bed.

You didn't put on your pajamas.

You're going to be cold.

For what I'm going to do, I don't need pyjamas.

We forgot to turn off the light...

Wait.

Wait.

You're gonna tear it up.

Gilbert, be careful, you're going to burn the sheets.

Gilbert.

Do you love me?

Yes, sleep now!

Yes, my grumpy love.

Still, I think your boss is overdoing it.

To make you work on a Saturday.

What time do you think you'll be back?

It's for the picnic with Françoise.

Look, I don't know exactly.

Around half past twelve anyway.

As soon as possible, I promise.

I was passing by and I wanted to see you, so I came in.

I see you've come in.

You're cool about that!

Don't worry about that.

Please.

What are you doing here? We hadn't made any plans.

There is no signal, and this is my house.

I don't like it when just anyone comes to bother me at home.

But Barbara, I'm not just anyone.

Ah, what do you imagine?

That I'm at your disposal?

I do what I please when I please.

And today, I don't feel like seeing you, bye.

Listen Barbara, you don't understand.

This is a misunderstanding.

I just dropped by to say hello.

I wanted to see you again.

Don't get angry.

If I had known...

What do you want to know?

You're confusing me with your wife.

I have neither master nor Lord.

And if you haven't figured out yet that I'm the one who sets the meetings...

But no, Barbara, I understand.

I was stupid.

I'm leaving.

Stop.

Come here.

Kiss them.

That's enough.

Very good, but,

Don't ask for more.

My office phone.

If my secretary picks up the phone, tell her that...

You're from a new construction site.

So the new construction site is me.

You are very poetic, darling.

Now leave me.

Bye.

See you tonight at 6 p.m.

But be careful, you have to be in good shape.

Very fit.

See you tonight.

Don't you think you're going a little too far with this boy?

Oh, you think? He's already asking for more.

Anyway, I know how to handle him.

And you think he'll handle the shock?

He's a handsome boy, that's true, but that doesn't mean that...

Do you want me to sign a paper for you?

This poor guy won't understand anything.

I think it's going to be the shock of his life.

And if despite everything...

Don't worry, he has reserves.

You know, it's not his wife who exhausts him!

Oh, but that's not possible.

Where did you find these clothes?

Don't you find them exciting?

Be careful, my dear!

We must keep our strength.

Can you give me a costume rehearsal?

But why these tinsels?

Put your hands up, you little fool.

Again... There.

Don't be so nervous, he'll be here any minute.

It must be a customer who is holding him back a bit.

But what is he doing?

If only I hadn't scolded him this morning!

You sure are a clingy wife!

Your husband is five minutes late, and your world falls apart.

Yes, my dear.

What is it? Of course.

You know that.

Can't you tell your client?

In an hour?

But then the picnic is ruined. And what about me?

But Gilbert, your boss shouldn't have...

He hung up.

Hey Barbara, it's me.

Is there no one there?

Take off all your clothes and put on this mask.

But be careful: you must not remove the mask under any circumstances.

Don't cheat, trust me and you will be doubly rewarded.

- Is that you Barbara? - Shh.

He's coming home sad. I have to be cheerful!

And all will be okay.

Yeah, I know, I'm coming home later than usual, but no need to nag me about it.

I swear, it's not the day.

The day was nothing but a series of troubles.

But my dear...

Yes, I ate a sandwich.

In my office, and all I want to do now is sleep.

Good morning my dear.

You forgot the curtains.

What's going on?

Guess who came so early in the morning?

Gilbert !

Well, I think he's got a thing for you.

Yes, I thought it would take longer.

- What do you mean? - Today is Sunday.

He's not with his wife. He's starting to get a taste for it!

Then he will really get to know you.

And then me. And then?

And then we will have a lot of fun.

See you soon Gilbert.

Ciao.

I think I need to start sex ed with this boy.

I have an idea.

Yes, tell me!

You know I like photographs a little.

- Sure. - Okay...

So we are going to...

You know, I'm not asleep, Gilbert.

Take off your clothes.

Take off your clothes.

No, Gilbert.

Not that! No, I don't want to! I don't want to! No!

No !

Ouch!

Barbara.

Barbara. Where are you?

Down below, go down the stairs.

Here I am!

What's going on?

But I saw the signal.

You're going to work now?

We are going to work.

We?

Of course. Take off your clothes.

Why should I do it?

Take off your clothes, I'll explain.

I know you really appreciate my imagination.

I'm sure you'll be very pleased with our session today.

I will explain it to you.

It's very simple.

I'll teach you every erotic pose I know.

We'll pose and then we'll trigger the cameras.

But for what purpose?

Please don't interrupt me.

So when we make love,

we'll be able to choose a position at random.

Whichever one will best suits our mood.

If you want to, I want to.

I find it a bit weird though.

If you insist.

I really care about it.

Now listen to me.

There is a rule to this game.

At any moment, we will really make love to each other.

And we shouldn't let the cameras interfere with our poses.

Wow! Talk about a laugh.

Don't be vulgar.

Do what I ask, and that's it.

Your game is not humane. I'm exhausted.

You did very well. Heroic, even.

I will reward you.

So what's going on?

So?

It's not working very well?

This is weird.

I could have sworn you were meant to get along.

Are you sure you're telling me everything, Sophie?

Of course.

Why would I hide something from you?

And besides, I'm the one who called you, right?

Don't get upset, my dear.

We will change the mindset of our young husband.

Here!

Catch!

But what do you want me to do with that?

You put it on and that too.

And above all, don't argue.

Don't wear a bra underneath.

But why?

Because it's ugly.

Oh la la. What a shy girl!

- That's it. - Not bad!

Okay so now you sit over there. There you go.

And you don't move anymore.

Wow, what a surprise!

But it's Mr. Fèvre.

Do you have an appointment with someone?

I am disappointed.

I thought you had an appointment...

With Miss Hamilton.

I didn't think you'd be so quick, Gilbert.

It's only half a compliment coming from my mouth,

because most women need a little more preparation.

For my part, you came across rather hot and heavy.

It's okay for you and for me too.

But still, I pity your wife.

It is female solidarity that speaks through my mouth.

Yes, we understand very well that ...

poor Sophie does not encourage romantic impulses.

You should bring her to me!

Why not?

It's true, you don't know yet that I really have some talent for disappointed women.

Yes, I am the true providence

for households that are struggling.

Is her name Sophie?

I like that.

Sophie's misfortunes.

Shut up, you hear? Don't bring my wife's name into this.

So let's comment on this, I'm the whore...

And Sophie the saint?

Shut up.

I forbid you to say her name.

If I act like the lowest of stallions with you, that's my business.

Either way, you're getting what you pay for, right?

I forbid you to speak of her again.

Otherwise...

Okay, don't get so excited.

Bye Gilbert.

So, is this the lamb you wanted to lead to the sacrifice?

Hey, your friend is violent.

You won't be able to do what you want with him.

And what about this?

True.

But from there to making him participate in our little games...

Wanna bet? I know you like to gamble.

You are well informed.

All right.

One hundred cases and the delivery of the package, is that okay?

It's weird to like losing.

Yes, he wanted to.

So I think I'll do him this little favor.

To you too by the same occasion!

- What are you talking about? - Françoise.

I'm pretending, I'm scared, you understand?

Sometimes I feel like I'm okay, and then I don't.

You don't say anything.

Why? Do you think I should see a doctor or a psychoanalyst?

Is that it?

Calm down, I'm your psychoanalyst.

But I'll say I'm pretty unhappy to only find out about this today!

Listen, my little Sophie, I'm taking things in my own hand.

I'm going to England for two days, and I need an assistant.

I want it to be you.

Notify your husband and pack up your bags!

I promise you will come back healed.

Come on, move!

Get going!

Don't look.

Next.

Number two.

Number three. Number four.

Oh darn, I would have liked the third one!

Silence! You must not give any opinions.

Number five.

Let's do that. My knees are starting to hurt.

- Hey, have you ever done this? - I've done worse, my darling, come on!

Yes Sophie, go ahead.

Those two days will go by very quickly.

And she pays you too.

It's unexpected, isn't it?

But no, I can still ...

cook a steak, you know.

Come on, let me kiss you.

I have work. What?

But I can't do that, Sophie!

I'm in the office.

Good, very good.

Well, I'll see you later then, huh?

That's it.

Yes, I kiss you. Yes.

Mr. Ludovic asked you, sir.

Number eight.

Number nine. Well, Marc, are you awake?

That's too childish.

Come my darling.

Well my darlings, you can say you've screwed me over.

Two against one, that's not very sporty.

Oh, I'm not complaining.

You were very good, my darling.

It's true that you don't look very well.

If Barbara keeps making stuff up like this,

you'll have to find some reinforcements.

You should place a classified ad.

Oh yes, I'll be the one to give them some tests like that.

Ouch! But you're crazy!

Stop your childishness, both of you, listen to me.

You know very well that I'm rarely caught off guard.

And you seem to have forgotten Gilbert.

Gilbert.

This amateur.

But he's gifted, you know.

I have no doubt about that. But to participate in...

A little patience, he will come.

And don't forget I put honor on the line and bet a hundred cases.

You haven't forgotten Marc?

No, but I wonder what I'm going to do all with my winnings.

Hello? Yes, it's me, obviously.

It's him.

Come on, take the earpiece. Come on!

- Hello? - Well?

If you admit that you acted like a brute and a selfish person,

you are half forgiven.

Wait.

I'm thinking.

You know, I'm going to be freer than usual for two or three days.

My wife is leaving for England tomorrow morning.

Oh, I'll think about it.

You see, everything is going well.

What did I tell you?

And Marc, we're going to have to save money!

Tomorrow morning at 10:30, OK?

My children...

I just had an amazing idea.

What Gilbert needs is love.

But love with a capital L. Romance, and the whole package.

And there is his wife who leaves him for two days.

I will take advantage of it.

We're going to give this little boy some crazy love.

You can be such a bitch.

it's for our pleasure, darling.

Goodbye, Gilbert!

Don't forget to close the gate, my love!

Barbara? Barbara, where are you?

In the bedroom.

That's it, she's gone.

Are you leaving too?

Yes, but not alone.

With you!

I have an appointment at 7pm. It will take me an hour.

Then we will have two days together.

So I'm warning you, the plane leaves in two hours.

You better hurry up.

Inform your bosses.

Invent anything, but do it quickly.

We'll meet at Orly.

In an hour and a half at the entrance, at the Orly.

So go, and quickly!

And only take what is strictly necessary.

I'll buy you some more modern clothes there.

Well, why not?

Listen Françoise, it's not possible. He never answers.

Are you sure we dialed the correct number?

Check again, we could have made a stupid mistake.

I'm getting worried.

If that's all it takes to reassure you.

Hello.

I'd like a number in France.

Would you give me...

Ah my dear, you're such an impatient girl!

Well, goodbye! My regards to Gilbert and call me!

Good luck!

Gilbert! Gilbert, my dear, where are you?

Gilbert ? Gilbert !

You scared me.

I thought you couldn't wait for me!

But no, come on.

How lucky! I will be able to tell you about my trip.

Oh how good it is to see you again!

I'm exhausted.

My dear, you don't seem very happy to see me again.

What a thing to say.

We spent two exhausting days, we ran and ran!

You know, she works hard for her money, Françoise.

And so do I.

Oh my poor darling who toiled like a brute ...

while his wife was playing the fool.

But my dear, you don't seem happy to see me again.

Listen Sophie, you know very well that I am happy.

So why do you keep telling me this?

What's wrong with you my love?

What do I have? Nothing.

You just make me mad.

With you, I never know which foot to dance on.

What if I wanted to make love to you, right there, in broad daylight?

It would only be fair, wouldn't it?

You're here, and you're turning me on!

But no, the lady would struggle, would scream.

Because we must not forget.

That her sexual activity clock is set to 10 p.m.

Before 10 is not time sex, and after 10 is no longer time sex.

I'd rather go because otherwise... And don't wait for me for dinner.

I have a business lunch, I have it until at least 10 p.m. at the earliest.

But what's happening to me?

Marc, you're already half lost. He's already here!

Yes, I can hear his bike outside my door.

So it will be set for tonight. Warn Flo for me, I can't.

Bye, and don't forget the hundred cases.

I know, I know, there was no signal, but I needed to see you.

You know, I can't stand her anymore.

- Who can't you stand anymore? - My wife, of course!

Sophie. She came back this morning as planned.

She thought she was doing me a favor.

"Thank you Sophie, for coming back."

"What would I do without you?"

And she kept rubbing herself against me.

And yet, if I had wanted to...

"Don't even think about it, Gilbert, at 9:30 in the morning, in broad daylight."

"What if the neighbors see us?" What if, what if... I can't take it anymore!

- Have you had lunch yet? - No.

So you're going to have lunch with me.

I'm not waiting for anyone.

Flo and Marc are coming for dinner.

They are lifelong friends, a truly modern couple.

Free-spirited, independent...

As I would like to see us.

We're going to have a great evening...

Trust me.

Here we go, here we go, I'm coming.

Stop this noise, I'm opening!

- You? - I never want to see him again.

Do you hear me? Never again.

I was ready to do anything for him, anything.

Gilbert, would you like to go get some ice cubes, please?

What do you think of Florence's way of kissing?

- It's, it's... - It's very good, we all know that!

Isn't that right, Florence?

There is something else you should know, jealousy does not exist here.

The only important thing is the pleasure of the body.

Gilbert, pour me a glass…

You know, honey, you should go to bed.

Do you want a sleeping pill?

Oh no, if I take one, I feel groggy for 24 hours.

Then it makes me nauseous.

You're right, I'm going to bed.

Do you like it?

Françoise, are you sleeping?

No, no. What do you want?

I think I'll take a sleeping pill after all.

Wait, I'll give it to you.

By the way, let me introduce you to Jean-Marc.

- Good evening! - Good evening.

I won't bother you anymore.

My dear, I'm going home.

You made me understand a lot of things and I love Gilbert.

I want to be his full wife, I will wait for him at our place.

Thank you for everything.

Oh, my dear!

My dear, come on, let's go home.

I want you to make love to me.

Come on, lie down.

Oh, my love.

My love, my love.