Original subtitles

Hey, have you heard?

Yeah... Can we really trust it?

They say since it's got so many traps, no one's ever made it through before.

What was that?

Who knows... But they looked like they were having fun!

Y-You think so?

What the...?!

Jil-san, are you okay?

W-What?! What's going on?!

Who knows... But it's kind of fun, isn't it?

It's all boxy and flat...

Are you all right, Master?!

Oh? Who are you?

I am Coopa.

Oh, Coopa... Although you're all boxy, there is still some resemblance...

That is a boulder!

Hey, what's going on here?

I don't know... But this must be the rumored trap of the shortcut...

We'll probably be like this the entire day...

The entire day?!

I see... It'll probably be easier this way

For whom...?

Special Guard Unit, forward march!

Come on! Pick up the pace, you fools!

What are you, a bunch of sea slugs?!

That was a surprise...

It wore off sooner than expected.

Everyone, hold still!

It's a mechanism that releases magic upon impact.

The trap was activated because Jil stepped on it.

W-What!

There are probably various types...

These traps are scattered about the path, and when someone steps on them...

As you can see, they change like that...

How cute! They're like a group of sand mice!

Sand mice?

Mice that commit mass suicide off of cliffs.

They carry the plague, but they look like stuffed animals and are so cute!

I-Is that so?

I cannot believe you like stuffed animals... Kaaya-sama is surprisingly childlike...

You don't like them, Coopa?

I outgrew them when I was seven.

Age doesn't matter.

Women who try to sell their youth have a long way to go.

I guess Coopa's out of our league.

Right, Ahmey...?

Well, that's how it is.

Do you understand?

Yeah... As long as we don't step on them, right?

Right. If you pay attention, it's no big deal.

If you're someone who's always as cautious as I am...

He had it coming...

What's this?!

Huh? I'm all flat!

A magical gender reversal device... Fascinating...

Master!

You are in no position to be speaking from the sidelines!

You've turned into a boy, too

That hasn't changed.

Whoa! What the hell happened?!

This is your fault!

I can't believe you fell for such a cheap trap!

Thanks to you, I'm all fluffy!

Yeah, but...

Don't worry...

It's called Ziusudra's Trap.

We'll turn back to normal after a while.

Let's go.

As expected of Neeba! You know everything!

It's a magical device created by a mage long ago.

There is nothing to fear.

Ready, go!

Geez! I cannot even walk straight!

It's probably a matter of balance... It also affects the direction we veer toward...

What balance?

Huh? W-Well...

I see...

Not bad at all...

Master, what are you doing?

I'm going over there for a bit...

M-Master!!

Hey! Let go of me, Coopa!

Where the heck do you think you are going?!

I want to be alone! Doesn't everyone, once in a while?!

Let me go!

No, I will not! I have a bad feeling about this!

Just let me go!

Let me go! Let me go!!

No, I will not! Not in a million years!

I wonder what Melt-san is trying to do?

What are you trying to do, Melt-sama?

He's...probably...

Probably... what?

Well, umm...

So, what is it that you plan to do all by yourself?!

W-W-What are you saying?!

Are you implying that I am thinking something indecent?!

That since I've become a beautiful woman, that I plan to play with myself?!

That I plan to touch, massage, and grope myself all over?!

That is exactly what I am implying!

I have... big boobs...

They're huge... So bouncy...

This may be the only chance I ever get... to touch them, and massage them, and make them bounce...

So... so... bouncy...

Ahh... Bouncy...

If I could enjoy their bounciness forever...

I had no idea Jil was like this...

I knew from the very beginning.

This man is nothing more than a pervert!

Oh, no! So Jil-san is some kind of pervert?

No, please stop!!

What should I do?!

Jil...

Jil, my son...

That voice... Father?!

Jil... You must become a great warrior, respected by all.

Yes, Father!

When I grow up, I will be just like you!

Is that so? Good boy...

That's right!

Thank you, Father! I was wrong!

I will never be led astray again!

Never again will I wish for bounciness...

Bounciness?

What are you talking about?

Uh, well... umm...

Come on, get in!

Wait for me!

Ah, that feels good!

Hey!

This is a great place

Yeah! What a great place we found!

Hot spring...

Women only...

We can go in there now...

Melt does not show mercy toward men!

Ah, you mustn't, Melt! That's not good!

You're so bad! Stop it, Melt!

If you have a problem with it, you can stay behind. I'm going in!

Oh, no! I won't let you go in there alone!

This guy...

Ladies! As you can see, we are girls!

Allow us to join you!

I love hot springs!

Sister, your breasts have gotten bigger again!

Hay, that tickles!

What a kick in the pants...

Master! Jil-sama!

You know what I am about to say, do you not?

You two are so indecent!! How repulsive!

I'm sorry!! I... I...!

Coopa-san, what do you mean by "indecent"?

By "indecent," what I mean is that they are perverted!

Oh, my! Then that means Jil-san is "perverted"!

No, please stop!!

The devil made me do it, I swear!

The devil made you perverted?

Please forgive me!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Long ago, there was an insane mage named Ziusudra.

They say he used this place as his testing site.

I hear he passed on long ago, but his inventions are still working here and now.

Neeba, you really do know everything!

Flattery will get you nowhere.

But why are all of the devices he made so silly?

That's not true.

I hear a fearsome trap awaits at the very end.

No way...

Not for Sale, Rent, or Ebay.

Another one!

Eh, here, too!

With this many, it's really hard to proceed.

So many of them...

This will be an intense battle.

Yeah... This battle will definitely become the stuff of legends.

Special Guard Unit, form up! With haste, like good children waiting for candy!

Do not be afraid! It's just a whole bunch of lizard droppings!

The Special Guard Unit does not fear lizard droppings!!

Spearmen, ready!

Charge!!

Forward! Forward!!

U-Umm, Sir Kelb...

Huh? Who the hell are you?

I am Ethana...

Hmm... Although you're all boxy there is still some resemblance...

That is a chair...

That aside, may I have a word with you?

Later! Special Guard Unit, forward!!

Man... What a disappointment...

Yeah...

I think it's great.

Forward! Forward!!

Umm... We are not changing back...

Do not falter! The Special Guard Unit fears nothing!

Have we not lost our sense of direction from becoming flat?

Do you know which direction we are going?

Sir Kelb?

Umm... Could it be...

The Special Guard Unit does not fear becoming lost!!

I knew it...

And thus, we pressed onward...

However, various traps lied in wait for us...

For example, the animal costume trap...

The giant trap...

The Slime trap...

The Coopa trap...

The change-back-everything-but-clothes trap...

The hyperactive trap...

The back-to-reality trap...

Finally, after making our way through these various traps, we reached the exit...

What awaited us there was...

What is this place?

Is this some sort of trap, too?

Do a performance!

Show me a funny performance!

Then, this door shall open...

Oh, no...

What's the meaning of this?

Let's do it, let's do it! I love this kind of thing!

I'm not very confident, though...

How pathetic.

One who wishes to challenge the top floors of this tower

must have at least one or two hidden talents.

Then do you think you can do it, Melt?

Of course! Hidden talents are the indulgence of the aristocracy!

Let's go, Coopa.

Aye aye, sir!

Ahem... This one is stylish small talk for high society...

Hey there, neighbor! Are you keeping a pet sand gorilla in your garden?

No no, my wife is just doing some gardening at the moment!

Ha ha ha...

Wow, that's great!

I-Impossible!

I knew it...

I see... so this is how it works...

How horrific...

I thought it was pretty good...

So, who wants to go next?

Show me a funny performance! Then, this door shall open!

I'll do it...

Really?

A-Ahmey, are you sure?

Hold on!

Sorry... but I'm going to have to cut in line.

The house of Fereydun has one final, treasured performance left...

O-Okay...

The vertical stripes...

become horizontal!

Well... that one...

Couldn't be helped...

Ahmey!

We're counting on you!

Do your best!

Bad puns don't work... But, I can't just bare all and go for it...

Ahh, what should I do...?

15 seconds remaining.

Do your best!

10... 9...

Ahmey!

8... 7... 6...

5... 4... 3... 2...

1!

Okay, next!

Me! I'll go next!

A-Are you sure?

Leave it to me!

I-Is she serious?

Third contestant, Kaaya! I will do a kitty impression!

Meow!

Hey, hey...

T-That's cute...

I see! I hadn't thought of that!

W-Why?!

Only an amateur would laugh at something cute.

Do not think that this door will open with such naive thinking.

Performance is about exceeding expectations.

...and impressing others.

You will not make it past here with simple eye candy.

That's harsh...

Even though he is a door, he is a performance fiend...

I've learned the harsh reality of performance...

L-Let me try one more time!

I cannot back down after having my reputation dragged through the mud!

Was that supposed to be a joke?

At this point, I'll go again and again until this door opens!

Me too, me too!

I won't back down like this!

Yes, yes, scoop it up... Ah! Hey, not there!

No no!

The diagonal stripes suddenly become...

No good!

Now for my doggie impression...

No no!

Huh...? My voice... is delayed...

Rejected!

Oh my, look at my thumb...

No no no, not good at all.

This isn't good either?!

We can't seem to get his approval.

Yeah... But, someone over there hasn't even tried yet...

H-Huh?!

M-Me?

That's no fair, Jil-san! You're the only one who hasn't performed!

W-Wait a minute.

I don't have any hidden talents...

Don't tell me you don't have any!

Even if you have none, do you not wish to try for the sake of your friends?!

Well, I...

I don't have any hidden talents...

No way

I need an idea...

An idea...!

Father!

When I grow up, I will be just like you!

I will become a great warrior, and defeat Druaga!

Is that so...

Now then, Jill...

Remember well what I am about to teach you...

Our family's dance, which has been passed down for generations...

That's right! I do! I do have one!

Father! I will do it!

Our family dance... passed down for generations!

Watch closely! This is a one-in-a-lifetime performance!!

The star performer! Jil, son of Marka!

Put a Roper on the Roper's back and put another Roper on that one's back...

On the moonlit beach, the teary-eyed Roper lays its eggs...

That's... the dance passed down in the Larsa region...

I thought it was only a legend...

A mother's love is deeper than the sea...

And how about that hip movement...

It's exactly like an egg-laying Roper!

It's a walk in the park with the Roper Song!

Put a Roper on the Roper's back...

And put another Roper on that one's back... It's a walk in the park with the Roper Song!

No way...

Why?! I'm not convinced!

I demand an explanation!!

I just saw the same performance so you fail!

The same performance?

I knew this would happen.

What was that...?

Who knows...

Who on earth could have done the Roper dance first?

Shortcut Exit

We finally made it through the shortcut.

It's all thanks to Neeba.

I'm seeing you in a new light now.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Neeba's amazing, isn't he, Fatina?

It doesn't bother me...

I know there's always a reason for everything Neeba does...

But man, Neeba... Where did you learn to dance like that?

Well...

I don't remember.

I will be a great warrior, just like you!

Jil, remember well what I am about to teach you...

This is the Roper Song, passed down for generations!

Put a Roper on the Roper's back, and put another Roper on that one's back.

A mother's love is deeper than the sea, it's a walk in the park with the Roper Song!

Episode 5: Ziusudra's Trap

Coopa here.

I am worn out from looking after a certain good-for-nothing,

but I have met a boy whom I am a little interested in!

Next episode: "Bridge of Lightning"

Spring has finally come for me, on my road to misfortune!