Original subtitles

[intense music]

beep beep beep

[snoring]

Ah! Good heavens!

I almost forgot to turn on my sound machine.

[birds squawking]

[Daffy snoring]

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

clink clink

The bank wost over $10 million.

The security guard, he wost his job.

I guess instead of catching Z's

he should have been catching thieves.

Ha ha ha.

'This is Elmer J. Fudd weporting.'

[whistles]

$10 million?

Usually I'm the only one who pays for it

whenever Daffy gets fired.

slurp

[door opens]

Unbelievable!

Fired for sleeping on the job.

What's next? You can't breathe on the job, either?

What do they think I am, a robot?

Do I look like a robot? Am I made of metal?

Do I make robot noises and blink my robot lights?

Do I eat nuts and bolts for breakfast? No.

I eat a breakfast burrito every day.

Name one robot that eats a breakfast burrito every day.

You can't! And do you know why you can't?

Because robots don't have souls.

Now, can someone please tell me

what I was talking about?

I don't know, I stopped listening after

robots eat breakfast burritos.

chomp chomp

You know what, this is good news.

Without a job, I can do whatever I want

whenever I want to do it.

After all, this is my house, my rules.

Uh, Daff, this is my house and my rule is

if you're gonna live here, you have to pull your own weight.

What does that mean?

You know, help out around here.

Do some chores, pay for a few things.

- I do chores. - No, you don't.

- Well, I-I pay for things. - Like what?

I bought leather socks the other day...red leather.

Daffy, you got to get another job.

Relax. A guy like me?

I'll have a new job tomorrow.

slurp

Guaranteed.

gulp gulp gulp

[instrumental music]

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm?

How's the job search coming?

Uh, I'm still working on my resume.

Uh, let me just close this.

I mean, it's under this.

click click click

I-it's right here.

Here's my resume. Nope.

Okay, here's my resume.

Oh, sorry. That was definitely not my resume.

click click

Here is my resume.

"Daffy Shelton Duck.

'"Education: None.'

'"References, none.'

'"Skills, none.'

Work experience, let's not go there?"

Are you a complete nitwit?

No, I'm a dunderhead.

At least, according to this internet IQ test.

Daffy, for the past three months

I've been pulling your weight because

I thought you were looking for a job.

Why would I look for a job if you're pulling my weight?

So what you're saying is, I'm enabling you?

You're not enabling me.

You're simply shielding me from the consequences

of my own self-destructive behavior.

I think you're right. And I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Daffy, for your own good, I'm kicking you out.

What?

Well, guess what?

You can't kick me out

because I am leaving.

Good.

Great. I'll go get my stuff.

Okay.

(man on TV) 'Even if they get back the five yards'

'you're still looking at a 50-yard field goal.'

Ahem.

I'm going.

I'm really going.

[indistinct chatter on TV]

I packed my suitcase and I'm going.

That's my suitcase.

Well, then I'll just take my stuff.

- That's my stuff. - I don't need your stuff.

I don't need you.

I can make it on my own just fine.

So, I'm going.

I'll see you around.

See you on the flip side.

I am going. Right now!

I'm...gone.

G-O-N.

Gone.

Arrivederci!

Duh! I don't need no roommate telling me to pull my weight!

I don't need no job! I don't need none of that jive!

I'm Daffy Duck! You hear that, world?

I take care of myself!

knock knock knock

Please take care of me.

[sobbing]

(Daffy) 'Ugh!'

[grunting]

- What are you doing? - Pulling my own weight.

I got you a job, it requires no experience

no references, or skills of any kind.

You start tomorrow at Enormocorp.

Enormocorp? The fifth largest conglomerate in the world?

Do you really think I have what it takes to be a CEO?

No. You'll be pushing a muffin cart.

Do you really think I have what it takes to push a muffin cart?

(Daffy) 'Look out, Enormocorp'

'today I have a muffin cart'

but some day I just might have the corner office.

[humming]

Ooh! May I interest you in a muffin?

- 'No.' - Come on.

I have a delicious banana nut with just a hint of cinnamon.

Not so much cinnamon that it's overpowering, of course

but just enough to let you know it's there.

(female #1) 'I said, no.'

- Chocolate chip muffin? - 'No.'

Come on, you deserve it.

(male #1) 'I'm on the phone.'

You want one?

No?

Muffin?

Ugh. This is pointless. I'm not cut out for work.

I should just be a stay-at-home mom.

I mean, look at these people.

This is how they want to spend their days?

Taking orders from this guy?

When I, I say, when I took over Enormocorp ten years ago

I vowed, I say, I vowed to make Enormocorp

a world leader in industry.

I say, I say. I'm a big fat rooster and I run the company.

Look at me with my big fat finger

wound like I'm the boss of you.

'I run this..'

What, I say, what is going on here?

I say, I say.

Ha ha ha! Hoo hoo! Ha ha..

Get in here!

Yes, you.

Who do you think you are?

The muffin man.

And what do you got here?

- Muffins. - Son, do you..

I say, do you know what I'm thinking?

I know what I'm thinking.

I'll tell you what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking that's a blueberry muffin.

I love me some muffins.

Why, land sakes, lemon poppy seed. Mmm.

My grand mammy used to make a lemon poppy seed.

But those old poppy seeds love to get

all stuck in your teeth now, don't they?

[gasps] Is that a jam-filled?

Oh, my stars, it is!

It is a jam-filled!

You know, as a boy

I used to suck the jam out with a straw.

True story, that is.

But, you know, I keep going back to the..

I say, I keep going back to that blueberry.

Just pick one!

[all gasping]

Son, I'm gonna tell you somethin'.

You got, I say, you got chutzpah.

I got what?

I'm surrounded, I say, I'm surrounded by bootlickers

and toadies, stooges and suck-ups.

I'm talking about you, too, Carol.

But you, I say, you, you're

you're not like these other lackeys.

They tell me what I want to hear.

You tell me what I need to hear.

Well, son, what do you have to say?

Maybe you ought to lay off the muffins for a while.

[all gasping]

[chuckles]

[laughs]

[both laughing]

Come with me, muffin man.

Now, let's see about getting you a corner office.

Hmm. That happened even faster than I thought.

[theme music]

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

♪ Come to Speedy's pizza place and put both your feet up ♪

♪ Bring a 100 friends with you there's plenty of room ♪

♪ I'll bring you more pizza than your tummy can eat up ♪

♪ Once you taste my pizza your taste buds will go boom ♪

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

♪ I read all your comment cards and take in your feedback ♪

♪ Of all the things you're looking for in a pizza place ♪

♪ So step into the kitchen where my cousin Gustavo ♪

♪ Is helping launch my restaurant into cyberspace ♪

♪ That's right we have a website just like you all requested ♪

♪ Now you can go online and order from your PC ♪

♪ If you can just bear with us our connection is spotty ♪

♪ I swear it will be worth it to get pizza from me-e-e ♪

♪ So please be patient ♪

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

Wow. Is this thing still loading, Gustavo?

- Si, 88%. - Oh, there it goes.

We're almost up!

Wait. Did it freeze again?

Gustavo, you got to be kidding me, man!

You said you were good with computers!

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

No, I said I had a computer.

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

Oh, here we go, it's up!

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

I told you I could do it.

♪ Pizzarriba ♪

You spelled it wrong!

♪ Pibbarriza ♪

What is pibba?

♪ It's Pizzarriba ♪♪

Not according to your website.

You're running from me? You are running from me.

I'm Speedy Gonzales! Speedy is in my name!

I'm the fastest. Ever!

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

And that's why I don't wear clothes.

[chuckles]

I can learn a lot from you, boy.

Sir, we're hearing that Murphy doesn't want to sell.

Do we withdraw our offer or attempt a hostile takeover?

Hmm. That's a tough..

I say, that's a tough question.

Withdraw our offer

or attempt a hostile takeover?

Hmm..

Man, what is wrong with you? Just go with your gut.

You got a big enough one.

My gut, huh?

Ugh. Hostile takeover.

You heard.. I say, you heard the muffin man.

Hostile takeover!

So, where you taking me to lunch?

I think I'll let you make the decisions from now on.

Lemon meringue or Tiramisu?

We'll take the whole cart.

Pomeranian or pekingese?

Cheetah. World's fastest land animal.

Renee or Annabel?

The one wearing glasses. You look smarter.

Well, Daffy, what do you think..

I say what do you think of Enormocorp?

I don't know. It's fine?

I'm happy, I say, I'm happy to hear you say that

because it's yours.

- What? - I've been..

I say, I've been wanting to hand over the company

for some time now

and there's only one kind of man I trust

to run Enormocorp, a muffin man.

And I should know, after all

I was once a muffin man myself.

[chuckles]

Later, gator.

[gasps]

whirr whirr

Remember!

I say, remember these words, son!

You can always trust a muffin man!

[bell dings]

Good morning, Mr. Duck.

Good morning, Mr. Duck.

Good morning, Mr. Duck.

Good morning, Mr. Duck.

Hold my calls, Carol.

Hold my calls!

I've always wanted to say "Hold my calls."

And now, someone's holding my calls!

Who's calling me? I don't know!

I don't care! I'm CEO.

CEO of Enormocorp!

Ahh.

Now, what will be

my first official act

as CEO?

click

Ohh. That's the stuff.

[bell dings]

[keys clacking]

I'm not sure if you can help me. I'm visiting a friend of mine.

He just started working here.

- What's his name? - Daffy Duck.

Oh, Mr. Duck. He's in the corner office.

Corner office?

You guys must really love your muffins around here.

Mr. Duck is the CEO of Enormocorp.

That makes sense.

[Daffy snoring]

Woo-hoo!

I see you finally found a job

where they pay you to sleep.

They don't pay me to sleep.

What do they pay you to do?

To run the place.

Daffy, you don't even know how to run the dishwasher.

That's because you do it for me. We've been through this!

I don't need your help anymore!

Why is my personal growth so threatening to you?

- Daff-- - No.

That's something for you to discuss

with a therapist.

I'm at work right now.

I-I-I can't be doing this.

Mr. Duck. I'm sorry to interrupt.

See? At work! Talk to me.

Sir, the markets have turned.

Should we delay the merger or proceed as planned?

Delay the merger.

I think that's the right decision.

Wait. Proceed as planned.

- Proceed as planned. - Delay the merger.

- Which one? - I don't know!

I'm not used to being the guy who's asked to make a decision!

I'm used to standing next to the guy

who's asked to make a decision!

That's when I can make a decision!

I need that big, fat rooster!

slam

Big, fat rooster!

Do I delay the merger, or proceed as planned?

Always trust a muffin man!

- Sir, we need a decision. - I'll be right back.

How you doing?

- Muffin man. - Hey, Daffy.

This is very important.

Do we delay the merger or proceed as planned?

Oh, right. This is the guy to ask.

Hmm.

'Huh, let's see.'

Uh, proceed as planned.

You heard the muffin man. Do not delay the merger.

- 'Proceed as planned.' - You're sure.

I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

Whoa.

Thanks for watching my muffin cart.

No problem.

Ooh. I would have delayed the merger.

Yep. Me, too.

Mmm. Blueberry.

[whimpering]

[theme music]

beep beep beep

whirr

thud

[intense music]

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[music continues]

beep beep beep

boom

'Beep beep!'

thud

Beep beep!

[clinks]

whirr

[creaking]

crack

[squeaking]

whoosh

thud

[crumbling]

thud

[upbeat music]

(Roadrunner) 'Beep beep.'

Beep beep.

boom boom

screech

[screeching]

After what is now being called the worst business decision

in the histowy of business

Enormocorp has gone out of business.

As a result, more than 100,000 have wost their jobs

and experts fear the world economy could cowapse.

Disgraced CEO Daffy Duck

could not be weached for comment.

Uff, if I'd have known all that was gonna happen

I'd have kept enabling you.

Well, at least I learned a big lesson.

What's that?

When I pull my own weight

I pull a lot of stuff down with me.

Whoa!

crash

Whoa! Whoa!

'Call Dr. Weisberg.'

chomp

[theme music]

Could I interest you in a muffin?

I ate half of it. It's not very good.