Original subtitles

Hello, are you leaving already?

Yeah, yeah, it's really boring in there tonight.

Really? Well, I was wondering if I could walk you home.

Oh, no, it's OK, I'm getting a lift.

Really? OK. Well, what are you doing tomorrow?

Er, nothing. Yeah. Why?

Well, listen, I was wondering if you want to come with me to go and see this new French film at the R-House cinema.

You know, the Russian R-House ones, all the other girls... Ah! Get in, Helen.

Oh, shit. Sorry, Dan. Look, I'll give you a call tomorrow.

Take a look down there. There should be some beer.

Ah! Shit!

You always get wet this quickly.

Do you want to go to Oasis at the weekend?

Oh, you've got tickets?

Two. One for you, one for me.

There's no other one for me.

No.

I need to go to Oasis.

Don't do it, man.

Do you want to go to Oasis?

No, I don't do it.

Come on.

Yeah, brother.

Yeah.

Yeah, I need to go to Oasis.

I need to go to Oasis.

I don't even know what you want.

I need to go to Oasis.

I need to go away with an Oasis.

my fingers cold I just don't like it down down there you're making it sound like bloody

Australia do you love me darling

I love you too but just don't do that all right

I could always take someone else to the gig who Jennifer Nicole Karen they don't make such a fuss

you wouldn't

it's huge

so is this your first time

never too late to start

look if you want to be my girlfriend you're going about it the wrong way okay

okay well how about I give you a hand job

I better take you home

okay okay okay no job

but no swallowing

all right

but you've got to show me your pussy first

what's there to see

because it turns me on right

plus you get a look at my cock into the bargain

you promise you won't touch me

of course not

you promise

scouts honor babe

what sort of a guy do you think I am

okay okay

I can't see anything spread your legs

it's too dark in here turn around

okay

I can't move any further

well stick your head out the window

what are you doing

what the fuck

Jack

get me out of here

what the fuck are you doing

Jack you're

Jack you're hurting me

Jack

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

John!

Helen!

What's the matter?

What are you doing here?

What did you do with Jack?

What do you know about it?

Well, I saw you in the car with him.

But what did you see?

What's there to see?

I left before you started.

Look Dennis, I like you, but I'm not your girlfriend.

Helen, wait!

Helen no, I want to try and help you!

Helen!

Your mother called.

She's decided to stay at the hotel room.

I have to wait in the hotel room, so she's going to stay at home.

Why?

Dr. David, what's there to see?

I left before you started.

Look Dennis, I like you, but I'm not your girlfriend or-

Helen wait!

Helen not, I want to try and help you!

Helen!

Your mother called?

She's decided to stay another week with her sister.

Bonnie.

I mean, this isn't happening.

I don't know how to put it, really.

All of a sudden, he was gone.

He just vanished into thin air.

Into your vagina, you mean?

Sort of.

Even in these days, this is still quite common for young women to be afraid of their first time.

Of being deflowered.

Sometimes the imagination can play the most extraordinary tricks on us.

You did say, didn't you, that you were forced to have sex.

I know, but I didn't...

Psychologists have coined the term vagina dentata.

The idea of a vagina with teeth that severs the penis during intercourse.

I didn't bite his willy off.

I mean, he disappeared just like that.

I didn't do anything.

All that were left were his clothes, and...

And there's this noise from down there.

Well, in that case, perhaps we'd better take a closer look.

Could you undress from the waist down, please?

And pop yourself onto the examination chair.

Please don't bleed it.

Bye.

Bye.

All right.

All right.

What are you doing spying on me?

Look, Helen, I was worried about you, OK?

I mean, what was you doing in there for so long?

Oh, Dennis, you'd never understand.

You're pregnant, aren't you?

And it's Jack's.

You have no idea.

What do you mean by that?

Helen, here, Alan, Jack's gone missing.

They can't find him.

They found his car down by the harbour.

Helen, what's going on?

Dennis, just do me a favour.

Sure, anything.

What?

Just leave me alone.

It's for your own good.

Helen, please don't go.

Helen!

Helen, I only want to talk to you.

Please make it stop.

Please go.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Here.

What are you doing?

I was still hungry.

You ain't pregnant, are you?

I know all about these things, you know?

Munchies in the middle of the night.

And how am I supposed to have got pregnant?

I'll clear this up.

Oh, don't tell me that you ain't got a boyfriend.

I don't like you boys.

Oh, is that right?

You reckon I don't know what girls your age get up to?

You can't get enough of sex!

I'm not like that!

Just shut up!

Oh, come on.

I was young once, too, you know?

Harry, did you just say something?

It's just my stomach rumbling.

You're not afraid of the storm, are you?

Tell you what.

You're really good to daddy.

He might let you sleep in his bed tonight.

I'm not sure mummy would like that.

Oh, bollocks.

When I married your mother,

I promised her that I would love her little woman

like she were my own daughter.

Get off me!

Get off me!

Buster!

Buster!

Buster!

Buster!

Buster!

Buster!

The next train due to arrive on Platform 2 will be calling at all stations to London-Victoria.

Hello?

Are you going away somewhere?

I've got to go.

What's wrong?

What's the matter?

Helen, what's wrong?

Careful.

Helen?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Hey, but stop.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

Helen?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Excuse me, are you, um...

They were available just now?

Sorry, love, I'm waiting for someone.

If it's, if it's the money I've got...

I said, I'm waiting for someone.

Please, I mean, it's my 18th birthday today and I've never, you know, I've never been...

Are you deaf or what? I told you I'm waiting for someone, I'll piss off and find someone else for you.

Please, please.

All alone tonight, handsome?

I don't think any second longer now.

I'm gonna come back to my place.

But you do it with our condoms, do you?

It's my favourite.

I bet you're so big no condom fits you, right?

Yes.

Would you mind if I take our own number with my little camcorder?

Not at all.

I've always wanted to be a film star.

Yes, I'm the one who makes you famous.

But you'd take euros as well.

Credit card?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

I bet you're so big no condom fits you, right?

Yes.

Would you mind if I take our own number with my little camcorder?

Not at all.

I've always wanted to be a film star.

Yes.

I'm the one who makes you famous, but you'd take euros as well.

Credit cards do.

Just right between my legs and transaction done.

Okay.

Ready for transaction then.

Wow.

Look at them.

Two pussies for the price of one.

I'll tell you one thing.

Want to be at my pussy?

You'll never want another pussy again.

Okay.

I do want to see it.

Oh, your tits are nice.

Where are you off to?

To the bookshop cafe.

Sonja, I've already told you about the reading that's happened.

There tonight.

Yeah.

Are you mad?

How the hell am I supposed to get my hands on a geezer in a joint like that?

I'm sorry.

I think you're forgetting something.

Tonight is my night.

It was your turn yesterday.

Yeah.

Well, it was your fault.

Nothing happened yesterday.

Because you were lying there like a nun all the time,

spouting all that Bible crap.

That was only because I thought he wanted to do it with me too.

You should be so lucky.

I had to squeeze him out like a lemon

until there was not a drip of juice left in him.

Stop it.

Because I hate you talking like that.

It's funny.

Oh, really?

Come on.

Grab back to eat first.

Then we'll decide what we're doing next.

Haven't you had enough?

The reading's already started.

You don't want to barge in the middle of it all, do you?

It might disturb the auteur's concentration.

Hmm.

Sonia, no.

Not again.

You should have thought of that yesterday.

If I don't get laid tonight.

No, we're leaving now.

Has anyone ever told you?

Are similar you two, love?

That's not surprising, is it?

She's my mum.

Well, can I have the honour of buying you and your lovely mother a drink?

Yeah.

G&T for me?

No, thank you.

Crap.

She'll have the same.

Two G&Ts then.

Just pull yourself together, okay?

Don't mess this one up for me.

Me?

Mess things up for you?

You should talk.

A woman goes to a blood bank, yeah, and gets 10 quid.

Then she spots a bloke getting 25 quid, and she asks, how come?

So her sister tells her, he's just donated sperm.

So in she goes the next day, and she says, I want to donate sperm.

That's a good one, isn't it?

Listen to this one.

A girl asks her dad if she can stay out a bit longer tonight.

He turns around and says, okay, kid, but as long as you give me a blowjob first.

I need the toilet.

Can't you two go your own on the bog, yeah?

No.

I hope you've got two pussies.

You can bet on our four tits we have.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Oh, sorry.

I'm looking for the, uh, cafe where the poetry rings are being held.

Cafe?

Well, there's a pub just over there.

That one there?

Yeah, just there.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm fed up because we're always doing what you want to do.

Move over.

I've got to go too.

I don't want to end up in bed with that beer-reaking smelly yobbo.

Well, alright then.

We'll just have to find you some sweet, nice young man who smells of fucking violence.

Can't you get it into your head?

I don't want a nap.

Yeah, but I do.

You can wrap your legs with your cobwebs for all I care.

You're not ruining it for me this time.

The first milk that gives you the eye is up for it.

Hello?

Is this the place where the poetry rings is being held?

Do you know where the...

Um...

Excuse me.

Would you be so kind and help us over to the table?

My sister just sprained her ankle.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Thanks.

My pleasure.

You okay?

Who's this pretty boy you fished out of the bog?

Sylvia's got a cell phone to admire her.

What's your name, darling?

Um...

Dennis.

I can't stay very long.

I'm still going to get out very early in the morning.

So I'd like to get to bed soon.

Wouldn't we all make?

Yeah, I'm down here in London for the book fair.

And also because...

I'm trying to find someone.

That's nice.

I love reading.

Yeah?

Yeah.

So who's your favourite author then?

I adore Milton.

Paradise Lost.

You know.

But...

Sometimes that can be quite hard going.

I suppose if I want to relax, I...

It's really sweet.

I know what you mean.

You two's hit it off so well.

But we're going to get going now.

Oh, that's a shame.

Hey, listen.

Maybe we can meet again sometime for coffee.

What are you going on about?

You're coming with us.

Well, no, no.

I have to be going.

I've got to be up early.

I...

I...

It's getting late.

I have to be going.

I'd be more than happy to give both of these girls a good seeing too, but I'm not sure Sister Mercy would appreciate it.

Do you mind?

You're joined together.

The literal first prize for the brain of Britain goes to our friend Dennis.

I'd be more than happy to show you how it's done if it's your first time.

And you know what?

I'll polish her cherry as well, if you like.

Do you mind?

Okay, that's enough.

I want you...

I want you to apologise.

You're nothing but a pair of fucking freaks.

Wait a minute.

Where are you off to?

Oh, well, well fucking done.

What a brilliant job you've made of that one again.

Oh, sorry.

I forgot.

Congratulations to you too, you jerk.

Wait, wait, wait.

Will you call me?

Come on.

No!

No!

No!

Oh, no!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

See me!

Please, please.

Please, please.

Please, please.

unbedingt

are you never satisfied?

Uh-huh.

Please mean me!

Please mean me!

Let's see how you like this, huh?

Let's see how you like this.

Sylvia, it's Dennis.

It's your nerd.

Dennis, it's nice of you to call.

Hi Sylvia, remember me, you gave me your number.

Are you still in pain though?

No, it's getting better.

Listen, I thought maybe we could go and see a film together.

That's a great idea.

But I'll have to ask Sonia first though.

What do you say?

I'll have to ask you a second.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hey, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're okay.

I love you.

Why can't they just get on with it instead of doody yakking all the time?

Oh!

Sonia!

Sorry.

I've got a lot in common, you know.

We sure do. Literature, art, serious films, poetry.

You're very pretty.

And me?

Oh, well, yeah, you are too, of course, but it's just that, well, I'm Sylvia's boyfriend.

And even though you're part of the family, even though you are a little bit closer than as usual.

Oh, look. Sylvia's got a boyfriend at last.

What does she mean by at last? Haven't you had one for a while?

For a while.

Actually, I've never had a boyfriend.

No?

No.

How exactly am I supposed to?

Can't you imagine?

But anyway, what I want to know is why someone like you doesn't have a girlfriend.

Well, I guess I've just never found the right person.

Yeah.

Haven't you ever been here?

Well, yeah, sure.

Well, once.

About a couple of months ago.

This girl, her name was Helen.

I think she's in here in London somewhere, but it's such a big place that I'm never going to find her and I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

Mmm!

Shit!

Sonia, put it down!

Sonia, would you put it down?

I'm sorry, Sylvia. I have to go. I've got to get up early tomorrow.

Goodbye, Sylvia. I'll call you tomorrow.

Why do you have to ruin everything?

I've got to kill you.

Hi, darling.

Creatures of the night.

What nice legs they do have.

Not just legs.

The two of us could have a lot of fun together.

The price?

150.

For the whole night.

Our place is just around the corner.

200, but I know a better place we can go.

I don't go anywhere else.

Cold turkey.

Don't starve your monkey too long, sweetie.

Look, my place, it's not far away.

No way!

The spinal!

What the fuck is this? Your bike shed or something?

You won't believe how cosy it is inside, look.

I don't like it here.

Yeah, fine.

Let's get a lot of fun.

Come on!

Yes!

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

There you go.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Okay, come on.

That's right, this way.

There we go.

There we go.

There we go.

That's better, isn't it?

Yeah.

There's no people fighting, is there?

Come on.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Hey!

Yes!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Shhh!

You've got a super piece.

You've got an home to go to.

Sorry, mate.

I didn't mean to disturb you.

What's that?

You've got a broken heart or something?

Yes.

But a sister keeps...

getting in the way.

I'll have some of this.

Family's nothing but trouble.

That's where I ended up I am now.

So what have you got against Dennis?

Nothing.

He's just a pathetic wimp.

That's all.

But you know these sensitive gentlemen of my time.

More fool you.

Why?

You've got lots for him, have you?

Pass the sponge for you.

No.

Getting too needy for the vibrator.

Hmm?

Alright.

I'll call someone up to make up for something.

No.

What?

You think I'll just lie there staring up at the ceiling while you and your bookworm hump

away beside me?

I've been doing it for years.

I don't ever remember being screwed by a bookworm.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't know.

I just can't call you.

Why?

You've got lots for him, have you?

Pass the sponge for you.

No, no.

Getting too needy for the vibrator.

Hmm?

Alright.

I'll call someone up to make up for something.

No.

What?

You think I'll just lie there staring up at the ceiling while you and your bookworm hump

away beside me?

I've been doing it for years.

I don't ever remember being screwed by a bookworm.

screwed by a bookworm come on Sonia it's serious this time what if you think he's

up for it shan't stand in your way

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately why you lost love hello no no about us

me and you I really believe that we belong together we do belong together I want you

I mean do you think we should put her to sleep

that would put me to sleep too if that's what you prefer oh no look forget it

I haven't ever tried to separate you before only one of us would survive

she's always saying we should do a foursome but I can't I just can't stand the idea being so

intimate so now let's watch it neither could I

my life's gone no you you're not gonna run out of love again okay

anything be fine now tell me what happened

it's okay I was coming home from school yeah

then what I was coming home from evening class

it's okay it's okay you don't have to say anything else now it's all right

all that matters is you're safe and nothing can harm you

I can't you'll be fine

I can't you or I can't you or I can't I'm of you in my way

We're gonna be alright, Bunny. He's the one. We're gonna be alright.

We're gonna be alright.

We're gonna be alright.

We're gonna be alright.

And I hate you.

And I hate you.

And I hate you.

And I hate you.

And I hate you.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Not again.

Oh, man, baby.

What do you want?

Go away!

Don't leave.

Oh, I bet you are. Where have you been?

Sorry.

I was worried.

I had to grab a bite of the egg on the way.

Oh, so what are we doing today?

Have you got any ideas?

I thought I'd buy you a dress.

Oh, don't bother. I've got loads to wear.

Sit down.

Go on, sit down.

Oh, don't bother.

Including a wedding dress.

Open it, Helen.

What is it?

Just open it.

John.

Marry me, Helen.

John, I don't know what to say.

Just say yes.

Look, John, after what that nutter did to me...

It doesn't matter.

I can't.

It's completely changed the way I feel about men.

Listen, I can't be normal.

Look, there's no rush.

But you're a man, John.

You've got needs.

You want sex.

Maybe you want children too.

That is normal.

Time heals all the rules, Helen.

Even yours.

And then we'll be able to lead a perfectly normal life together.

Honest.

Come here, you.

She'll be okay.

What have you done, you stupid little bitch?

God!

You are dead!

I've been looking for someone like you.

You're the only one in the whole country, sir.

You know, I've been dancing now for nearly ten years.

Dealing with perverts is okay, I guess.

It comes with the territory.

Dancing's not so bad.

The girl's got to earn a living.

You have no idea what a fag it is, putting your ass out of joint on a daily basis, tottering

around on hills like that.

I've got this planned.

Brilliant.

Cinch really.

Can't do it on my own though.

I need a bloke.

And I figure if you haven't got caught yet, well, you must be doing something right.

Hey.

Hey.

Are you listening to me?

Or are you really some fucked up kind of crazy killer?

Do you need a hand?

Oh my God, give me that.

Disgusting.

My dentist says I have to wear it at night, otherwise I'm going to end up looking like

Bugs Bunny.

It's like Helen's.

Fuck knows who Helen is.

She certainly perks you up.

Now, as I was saying, I used to work on this island as a dancer.

Yeah?

Absolute shithole.

But first of every month, 100 grand in cash delivered for all the offshore workers.

How'd you know that?

One of my old regulars told me, I think he had a soft spot for me.

Anyway, there's no security, or I think maybe one guy, and the police are far too busy

chasing the stoners and the vandals, so we're home free.

So I figure we go over on the ferry, do the bank, go back by lunchtime, and you and I

are fucking made.

Sounds good to me.

So we're going to do this thing?

Okay, okay.

But one thing, Helen, don't stop.

Please.

Don't stop.

Dennis?

What?

Who's Helen?

Helen.

Sure, I understand that whole business with the perverts that rattles you.

Don't you worry?

We'll never assume enough.

But what I don't get is why not-

Oh, please, John.

Promise you be patient.

I'm not ready yet.

I am.

I am, darling.

I know you've got to put this behind you and everything.

I understand that.

But what I don't understand is why-

Why are you not sharing it with me?

And you think I can forget about it overnight?

I warned you, John.

I did.

I can't sleep with you.

Talking of which what we're up to last night, then.

I woke up and you were gone.

On our fucking wedding night.

Please, John.

Just give me more time.

I know we can be happy together.

Please, just stop spoiling things.

I love you.

I love you, too.

I'm sorry.

I'm just a bit confused at the moment.

Especially when my dad just disappeared.

I love you, too.

I'm sorry.

I'm just a bit confused at the moment.

Especially when my dad just disappeared.

Stop!

You bastards!

I won't start!

This is supposed to be a honeymoon.

Yeah.

Supposed to be.

Well, I haven't noticed yet!

Alright!

Sometimes I get this feeling you're not putting much effort into it.

I know.

Take that.

Perfect.

Don't fuck it up.

Oh, John.

Look.

I'm happy to, you know, touch you down there again, but I can't.

Don't move!

What?

Don't move.

What's going on?

Get out the back!

Go on, go on.

Get out the back, quickly!

No, I don't know what you're trying to do here, but...

Quickly!

Get in here and shut the door!

Just shut up!

Stop talking!

Please!

Shut up!

Right!

I need to...

Rope or tape?

Something!

Something!

Where?

Where?

Get in!

Okay.

You've got it yet?

Fucking idiot!

You!

Take this and tie him up!

Quickly!

Do it!

Time up!

Sit on the floor!

Sit on the floor!

Sit on the floor!

Yes, you can!

Just do it quickly!

Listen to what he says!

Just quickly!

Do what you're trying to achieve!

Shut up!

About what a good you are!

Quickly!

Now he's late!

Do it quickly!

Right, you're doing it excellent!

Well done!

Right, give us a take!

Now!

Sit down!

Sit down!

Sit down!

Sit down!

Sit down!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

Please go to workout, please!

Yes!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

You shot him!

What was I supposed to do?

Stupid idiot shouldn't have chased us out of the bank then, should he?

Huh?

Yeah, but you said there'd be no violence.

Oh, and I'm sure you said the same thing when you hacked the twins apart with that bread knife!

Huh?

Jesus, Dennis!

Fuckin' shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Dennis!

It's the pig!

Fuck!

Fuckin' shit!

Shit!

Oh, so you found your true friend at last.

Shit! Shit! Shit! We are so fucking rich!

There must be at least 200 fucking thousand pounds in here.

I'm so fucking lucky!

What are we going to do with the money then?

Fuck no! I'd spend it!

God, I could get myself the most ginormous...

Okay, ginormous pen.

I can't!

God!

Come on!

Where are we going?

It's a cat!

All in white.

So the bride was a virgin on her wedding night, was she?

Heard of it.

I nearly got married once.

Then the stupid git introduced me to his brother.

Now he was gorgeous.

And drove a jag to boot.

And drove a jag to boot.

But, as I always say, the bigger the car, the smaller the cock.

He introduced me to his brother.

Now he is gorgeous.

And drove a jag to boot.

But, as I always say,

the bigger the car, the smaller the cock.

So, say love you.

Oh, no.

Jesus Christ, what was all that shit all about,

leaving me lying out there in the sun on my own?

Bleeding Willy.

Did you?

Did you?

...and have made an appeal for witnesses

that may have been at the scene for crime.

The security guard, shot today in the holdup

at the home county's bank, has finally died of his wounds

an hour ago in hospital.

He leaves a wife and five children.

How did that poor bloke survive on such crummy wages?

How many kids did he have?

He's doing stuff on the side, taking bribes.

What do you reckon, huh?

What do you reckon, huh?

No.

Oh.

Buckets.

Ugh!

Hey, Dennis.

Wake up, twin killer.

The island's been cut off.

Good morning.

Sorry to disturb you, madam.

You probably heard about the bank robbery.

A security guard was killed.

Yeah, yes, I did, actually.

Terrible.

Tragedy.

Tragic.

Notice anything suspicious on your way, madam?

Well, no.

I asked you, officer.

It's my husband's in my honeymoon.

So, all I've really seen is bollocks.

And, of course, the ceiling in the dorm room.

Your licence, please.

Jesus Christ, Pinky.

My prick is burning like hell.

It must have been some wedding night.

OK, have fun and take care.

Thanks, baby.

Jesus Christ, Pinky, my prick is burning like hell.

It must have been some wedding night.

Okay, have fun and take care.

Thanks.

Here.

No, thanks. I'm not hungry in any way. I like strawberry flavour.

It's not for you to eat.

It's for your knob.

Really?

Yeah. It's an old-fashioned remedy.

They say, uh, yoghurt's really, really good for sunburn. Try it.

Okay.

Well?

How's that?

Fantastic.

Now, I've been thinking.

Quiet back there.

We're not going to get off the island with all the police chasing us around, huh?

So why don't we just have a holiday?

What?

Well, you and I seem to pass off quite convincingly as the honeymooning couple.

The red-hot lusty lover gets fanny friction on his wedding night.

Hey?

Helen?

Sounds like Helen.

Helen?

Dennis?

Helen?

Dennis?

Oh, Dennis!

Helen?

Helen?

Helen, it's you!

Oh, Dennis!

What are you doing, you fucking imbecile?

Don't you know who this is?

This is Helen!

This is the girl I love!

I don't want to know!

Stop it, Dennis!

No!

Stop it!

I get one chance in this life to get rid of you!

I don't want to know!

Stop it, Dennis!

No!

Stop it!

Stop it!

I get one chance in this life to get rid of you!

I'm not having anyone mess it up for me!

Especially not some impotent little jerk like you!

Please, Pinky!

Put the knife down!

Put it down!

Now!

Get out!

Don't do this!

Get out!

Please!

Get out!

Fuck off!

Wanker!

Helen!

Helen!

In a vehicle left close to the scene of the bank robbery, fingerprints have revealed the identity of Dennis Fowler, better known as the notorious twin killer.

More police will be sent to the Isle of Wight as reinforcements are needed.

And now to the weather.

Ah!

Yes!

And now to the weather.

Cast and clouded.

With bright spells later on.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Oh!

Stupid thing!

You can't make the gassy thing work so its either cold…

… Mh!

– Mh!

– or nothing at all!

– Mh!

– Mh!

– Ow!

I know, Dennis!

Oh, Helen!

God, you must be Helen the brace!

Well, you must have been a hot one on the house!

How could you make you do it!

Thank you...

Oh, have a mouthful of beans, love. There we go.

And one more for good luck. Go on, go on.

And one for little bear.

And how about one for you?

I know.

I need a shave. Yeah, I'm quite sorry to have

sport your honeymoon, really. How bloody dare you come in here and...

Shut up.

Noisy, isn't she?

And I know what you want.

Now, now,

why don't you

undie your trousers?

Silly me. Of course.

You can't.

You randy tart.

Is that a compliment?

Fucking stuff me inside you.

Go on.

Give it to me.

What's that?

What?

That!

I don't know.

I don't know.

Oh, my God!

Ow!

Fuck!

My fucking nail!

That's all I need.

Lie the fuck down!

Precious.

Sorry.

May we come in for a moment?

What's the matter?

We've got orders to search every square inch of the island.

Those bank robbers must be hiding somewhere.

Well, um...

Don't think they're here.

I might have noticed.

We still have to search your vehicle, madam.

Oh.

Do you boys fancy cold beer?

My husband's just gone out to the village, so it could be a while.

But we're on duty.

Oh.

Well, that is a shame.

Variety is the spice of life.

Never say never.

That's what I say.

Yeah.

Um...

There we go, boys.

Sorry, guys.

Really, I don't want to call you any more trouble.

What was that?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

I've got a cold beer.

My husband's just gone out to the village, so it could be a while.

But we're on duty.

Oh.

Well, that is a shame.

Variety is the spice of life.

Never say never.

That's what I say.

Um...

There we go, boys.

Sorry, guys.

Really, I don't want to cause any more trouble.

What was that?

Oh!

What was that?

Oh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Helen.

Helen, are you okay?

Dennis!

What the fuck do you want?

What's that?

That's what I'd like to know.

Pinky, what's this about?

There's something inside of her that's talking and it's coming from a fucking twat.

What are you talking about?

Something in there that's even hungrier for cock than I am, Dennis.

How do you know that?

Don't ask.

I just know.

You're fucking mad.

You're mad.

Am I?

Yeah.

Well, why don't you fuck her then?

No.

No.

You've suddenly got your darling Helen the Brace.

What?

You've gone off her?

Me.

I'm not.

What do you want to do?

I'll be able to count to ten.

And you're either fucking her by then or...

She's dead.

Me.

No.

One.

Ten.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Three.

Four.

Five.

No.

Six.

Seven.

Eight.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Oh, ah.

Still ready.

It's okay. It's okay.

Oh, Dennis!

Leave that shit with it, slut!

You slut!

Are you hurt? No.

Come here.

I was happy to see you.

You know, I never gave up hope.

Oh, really?

I couldn't stop thinking about you.

I couldn't stop thinking about you, too.

Oh, come here.

What a fucking mess!

Quiet! Don't bother me right now! I have to think!

Where's my lighter?

Shut up!

I'm never letting you go this time.

Dennis, Dennis, please stop it.

Oh.

Listen.

There's something that I have to tell you.

Shh!

No, no, no.

Even if it means that you won't love me anymore.

I've got to get off the island before the two of them go to the police, because I can take Helen's passport.

I could dump the van in the harbour.

That's what I could do.

Maybe I could pretend to be a backpacker, because they're inconspicuous, aren't they?

They're inconspicuous, aren't they?

Of course they are.

I could...

Look, calm down!

It's not as if you're going to die or anything.

Don't fuck with me!

Don't fuck with me!

Don't fuck with me!

It's okay.

It's okay.

I have matches.

Here.

Somewhere.

I always love you.

Dennis, stop.

You know what's going to happen.

What have you done, you stupid little bitch?!

You are dead!

Oh, God!

Oh!

Oh, my legs!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

I can't feel me legs!

Can you hear?

Hear what?

Exactly!

Oh, my God!

It's gone quiet!

Oh, my God!

I can't remember it.

It was...

It was...

It was...

It wasn't a rapist.

It was him.

It was him.

It was him.

What are you talking about?

Oh, Dennis!

What do you mean?

That I want you.

Really?

Mmm...

That I want you.

For the first time in my life, I actually want to have sex.

Mmm...

Mmm...

Mmm...

Mmm...

Mmm...

So you found your next victim?

No.

No, wait, wait.

Look.

This is Helen.

Do you remember the girl I was telling you about?

You can say goodbye to her, right?

If you want to shoot him, you're going to have to kill me first!

Are you stupid or something?

You're to die for that useless bastard!

He slaughtered my sister!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

You know it was an accident!

I swear I didn't mean to!

Please!

Yes, you did!

Put the gun down!

Put down the gun!

Put down the gun!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

You know it was an accident!

I swear I didn't mean to!

Please!

Yes, you did!

Put the gun down!

Put down the gun!

Sylvia!

Please, look!

Truth will be okay, but let Helen go!

Please!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

seriousness!

Sorry about what happened.

Sonia.

Head to us.