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I had been feeling very lost in absolute freedom.

Not having any responsibilities besides this boat,

not having anything to do.

So when Lærke told me that she wanted to go sailing,

I got really excited about the possibility of a project.

I knew I wanted to do a project that was not about me.

It was not necessarily about the boat,

it was not necessarily about

how we sail or whatever,

but I wanted it to include other people.

I've always lived my life in such a way

that when I feel something exciting,

I chase after it and keep doing it and keep talking about it

as if it's going to happen, whether I know it is or not.

That's how you sail?! - Yeah.

It just seemed very cool to join the idea of women

sailing across the North Atlantic,

which not many people do in general,

it's not the choice trip

because it's rough.

And the boat being so rustic and simple

in its capabilities to sail across, it's interesting.

Mara Noka is a James Wharram design.

NARAI Mark one,

built in 1971 through ‘74.

It's based off of the Rongo,

which was James Wharram’s second boat

that he built to cross the North Atlantic

west to east for the first time ever.

Nobody had done that on a catamaran before.

I found Mara Noka in Panama.

I did not know how to sail at all when I got the boat,

I did not know how to pull up the mainsail.

I understood wind,

but when I started sailing,

it really felt like the boat was sailing me.

After one week of sailing constantly

for the first time,

I started to know the noises

and that was such an interesting experience.

I don’t know, you create like a symbiosis with this vessel.

Through that first year of sailing,

it was really, really rough all the time to watch the boat get loose

and feeling this sense of debt to the boat.

I could feel that it was in pain sometimes,

but still enjoyed what it was doing.

There’s just such a special connection with it.

It felt like it was excited for

new adventures.

When I lived in my hometown, I would go often down

and just sit by the water and look out.

And even though it was a bay,

you couldn't see land on the other side, and I've always just found a lot of

peace in looking at the ocean, because it's like a blank canvas and

you can just look out and

anything seems possible.

I've always wanted to

sail on a long journey since I was a child,

and I remember these books

from this sailor family in Denmark that my parents would read to me,

and there was one about one of the kids going on this big journey,

and they were in the Caribbean, and they met all these animals.

Like seeing dolphins and turtles,

and it's just been in my head for a long time,

and then I just started to tell people that I was going across the Atlantic,

and then sometimes I create my own reality by just repeating stuff,

and then that was what I wanted to do.

Eventually

figured it would be really cool to document

how the plastic travels across the ocean, because that was

something that impacted me a lot on my first Atlantic crossing.

Plastic pollution

in our oceans is a huge problem,

and it's constantly making me think about better solutions.

I live in the Canary Islands where I work with Clean Ocean Project,

so I'm always on the beach collecting trash, doing beach cleanups.

And I remember one time on one beach we found

over 45 plastic bottles and they were from all over the world,

and many of those bottles have crossed the Atlantic

because they travel with the same winds and the currents as the boats do.

So I thought it would be interesting to follow that journey.

I just need, I need help. Yeah.

Well, can I help?

I met Kiana when she had just done her first Atlantic crossing by herself,

and she was passing through the Canary Islands, and I thought,

what a badass woman,

I want to do something with her.

So we started talking, and quickly

we started dreaming about doing a project

and we had no money.

But eventually I thought, I want to do this

and I want to make it happen no matter what.

So I sold my old car.

I sold my surfboard.

I told everyone, “See you in three months.”

and I went to see Kiana.

I met her in the boatyard,

and then she told me

there are a few problems with the boat,

but we're still going to be sailing in two weeks.

The two weeks quickly turned into a full year.

We ended up peeling the tar

and nylon coating off of the boat

and exposing all the bare wood

that we glassed over, which was a very laborious process.

On top of that, fare and paint,

prime and paint.

Then we changed the entire top deck.

Yeah! Watch out!

We learned that nothing really ever goes as planned,

and that's just a big part of the whole adventure.

And even if it was hard most of the time,

we were lucky that we received a lot of support

from friends and family and people around us,

and that was a big motivator to keep going,

and also, we both knew that the alternative

that would be, giving up, would be even harder.

♪ I have no money, nor anything to give

♪ The only thing I have is love to love

♪ If that's how you want me, then I can love you

♪ But if you can't, there's nothing to do ♪

Kiana, who I had only met once,

previously at the boatyard

when I saw this boat in shambles basically,

sent me a message

asking if I wanted to cross

the North Atlantic Ocean

and make a documentary about it.

My first

response was like, “yes,

heck yeah!”

It's been a dream of mine since early teenage years.

Like maybe 13 or 15

I started dreaming about sailing,

but never really looking

or seeking out for an experience.

I feel very drawn

to the unknown and pushing myself

and being in uncomfortable situations

and exciting situations.

So it's just like the instinctual yes.

Hell yes.

Every cell in my body was like, “Let's go girl,

let's go and cross an Ocean!”

♪ I grew strong

♪ And I learned how to get along ♪

For preparations of the voyage,

I always have a tendency of taking too much food,

but in this instance, having three people instead of one,

I was completely lost

in the sense of like how much we would need.

So I just used, like, all these kinds

of vegetables that take a long time to go off.

We had a 16 six-gallon jerry cans.

In that one gallon per person per day,

that includes your tea, your showering,

your drinking water.

Power comes from solar panels,

180W of solar panels, and four batteries.

And for cooking fuel, there's a propane stove,

and we took three tanks of propane.

I learned very quickly,

after three weeks of waiting for “good” wind to leave,

because I thought the wind was like, “Yeah, haha, the wind is always good!”

It requires a lot of patience, and it requires you

to be very humble

and wait

and listen.

And I think that has a lot to teach.

“Oh I see. Oh…”

That for me was a test in itself.

I thought I was like, yeah, I'm patient, I'm Zen.

But those first three weeks waiting for wind,

I was not Zen.

But it makes you

just realize that you're not in control.

All you can control is yourself, your emotional state.

“Shock is a life threatening condition

in which blood flow to the tissues of the body

is inadequate and cells are deprived of oxygen.

Any serious injury or illness can produce shock...”

We left Beaufort, North Carolina on June 27th, 2022.

Headed for Flores in the Azores.

As the crow flies, that is 2200 nautical miles,

so you'd hope that you'd be moving at 100 miles a day,

and that would give us an arrival estimate

of about 25 days.

That whole experience of not seeing land.

I wouldn't say it was a very dramatic feeling.

Cause it's so fast that you don't see land.

The whole time, even though you're surrounded by water,

you just feel like you're in a small bubble,

and I think it's just impossible to comprehend

that you are in this massive ocean.

Liz, you're doing a great job.

Thank you for guiding us.

I can't believe

this is the boat that we painted.

Sanded, like, did all these things.

It's so strange to see it in the water.

Thinking about this boat in the boatyard for so long.

And now it’s was just doing what it's supposed to do.

My plastic lookout spot.

It's insane. We're in the middle of freaking nowhere.

This one is freaking old. - We knew that crossing the Atlantic,

it would be basically impossible for us to pick up plastic.

But then we thought that the best way would just be to document

what we see and do it in the most systematic way.

So we made a little logbook where we logged down everyday

what we could see of plastic, what we were able to pick up, and then

also just logging down the weather, the conditions, the way the water looked.

The boats we saw, wildlife.

Oh, he’s stuck in there.

There's a little fish inside?

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, he's still alive.

Yeah. He was breathing.

He was probably stuck in there and couldn’t get out.

Oh my God.

I was so excited to be back out at sea on this boat

that was longing for the water again for so long.

It's the place where I feel the safest and the most alive,

but also at the same time, I was super nervous

because I had just rebuilt this boat.

I didn't know how it was going to react

to heavier swell or whatever we might face.

And also, having crew aboard was super nerve-wracking because

now I have not only the responsibility of myself and of the boat,

but of two other lives.

With the calmer weather it was really nice

because then I was able to acclimate to

the energy of other people on the boat.

Over a year on the hard with the boat,

we acquired many-a-creatures.

One lizard, Liz.

She stayed with us,

ended up going out to sea, which I don't think she expected.

And I really don't think she knew

what she was getting herself into

by making Mara Noka her new home.

It's my co-captain.

Navigator

extraordinaire.

How many nautical miles have we sailed?

28

and we have to sail 2200.

Just a little bit more!

Can I just do one? One quick one.

Go, straight down.

You can't really see much.

Oh, look at it! So pretty.

Good Night.

Mwah.

Being able to remove yourself from the land and the buzz

and the people and all that energy,

and to row out to your boat

and you're in your own world.

Your own small island in a calm sea.

It makes the present way more present

to not be connected to the whole world at the same time,

and just be connected to yourself

and where you are in that moment.

It makes me feel able to

just let my guard down and relax,

and that vulnerability of being out at sea, too.

It's not, like, I don't fight it.

It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable.

It is that surrender thing.

It's being able to just let myself go

and not have a guard or a wall up,

which I think I do around people

or around noises and movement and things.

It’s a little piece of plastic there!

There's something that happens in the brain

where when time doesn’t exist, it's like, ‘I'm good!’

I didn't really know what day was ever

or, you know,

what day of the week or what hour it was.

There's no rush in having to do anything.

I'm someone that moves very quickly

throughout the world,

and I don't know if I like that part of myself anymore.

I like how productive I can be.

But then also, there's this thing that the ocean calls you to do,

and it's just to

take your time.

I wish that we all had more space to reflect

upon nature and the vastness that surrounds us,

and all the things that we're intricately connected to

in mysterious ways and in very obvious ways,

because we all kind of need each other,

but we're just too busy to even think about it

or have the desire to do it.

I wouldn't say that the still days made me feel peaceful

because Atlantic is massive

and I know crossing the Atlantic,

if were just floating around with no wind,

it's going to take 90 days or more.

So it felt relaxing in a very strange way, because

if you're about to run a marathon and there's a bench like after ten minutes

and you sit down and you're not going to fully relax,

I mean, it's nice that you can just sit down, but

you know what's ahead of you.

So it's an interesting feeling.

In the North Atlantic

wind will come.

It’ll come.

Is it going to be scary wind?

No, I don't think so.

But,

we won’t be out here with no wind forever, that's for sure.

I can just see us floating the wrong way.

No!

Yeah, we're just drifting sideways.

We’re wanting to go this way.

Yeah.

We want that way now.

Oh we’re drift— Are we drifting that way?

We're drifting that way.

Fuck!

♪ Drifting the wrong way… –Drifting away! ♪

Would that set us off, like, a few days or something?

No, we're not moving that fast.

Coming from there.

It’s fucking with me.

You feel it? –Yeah.

Urgh!

I’m like

It’s going to happen.

It is going to happen.

I can't look at you, but.

I'm sorry. I did my best.

Oh wow.

Love you, Liz.

Love you, Liz!

Liz doesn’t know it yet

but she's the protagonist of this movie.

♪ I love to sing in the ocean!

♪ No one can hear me way out here!

♪ I'm just a lonely little sailor... ♪

I try not to think ever

about actual position.

The fact that we're way, way, way in the middle of nowhere.

I try not to think about the depth of the water,

just because they show you the immense

power of the ocean.

I don't look at maps full scale

because that shit’s scary.

But to see the surface and to watch the ripples

and watch how the waves change,

especially as the wind starts to pick up.

So you have a nice calm day and there's no whitecaps,

and as soon as you see one, that feeling of change,

it's very apparent.

I think as humans, before we had speech, and

that form of communication, everything was so visual,

and that's how I feel like the ocean is,

it's obvious, it's right there in front of you,

and also the understanding that it's moving all the time.

It feels like life.

Like intense life and the flow of energy that we all experience

through human relations or trying to

to navigate our meaning.

That flow of energy is, it's unstoppable.

And we try to stop our own,

I think sometimes or other people's,

but we can't.

No!

It was kind of like a feeling of,

oh, shit. Now it starts.

I was somehow hoping that it wouldn't, but

I knew that stuff was going to break.

On day seven, the gaff broke.

That makes the mainsail for the rig that Mara Noka has unusable.

It's pretty fucked.

The mainsail was modified specifically for the length of that gaff,

so it needed to be extended

to be able to pull the sail back up.

I don't remember feeling at all like,

“Why?!”

Right away I felt like

someone was going to know how to solve this.

Obviously Kiana,

and would give us the tasks to do,

but I never doubted the situation,

never felt fearful.

I was struggling with that the whole time.

I appreciate it, and I think it's beautiful and it's wonderful.

But there was always the aspect of having other people around,

and the reason I started sailing alone is

because of my insecurity of

being observed when I'm doing something wrong,

because it becomes very apparent when you do something wrong,

whether somebody else is there to pointed out or not.

And I'm still learning.

So to have people relying on me

and looking at me for

why or how or what, you know,

I don’t have any practice in it,

and it was just it was really new for me.

How to make a movie:

Go out on a wooden boat

in the middle of the ocean.

Wait.

See what happens.

It's kind of fun to break this

relaxed rhythm we had at the retreat

with a little bit of something.

Yeah, this is definitely exciting.

Ship, ship, ship, ship.

This is sailing vessel

to your forward port side.

Do you copy? Over.

Sailing Vessel, Cruise Ship. Go ahead.

Hi cruise ship.

We are on our way to Azores with an east heading.

I was wondering if you could give me,

uh, some weather forecast for the next couple of days.

Yeah. Weather forecast for

today and tomorrow.

So you can expect southwest winds with gusts up to 35,

35 to 40 knots in this area,

and also waves around three meters,

and second of all,

you can also expect some passing rain showers tomorrow as well.

Thank you sir.

Okay. Welcome, have a good, pleasant and safe voyage.

Yeah!

We're going to get wind!

Lots of it. That's kind of scary!

How much?

40 knots, 35, 40 knots.

Oh my God.

But, uh, only for the day tomorrow,

and then it goes away by nighttime, gusting 15.

40 knots?

I'm not extremely excited I would say.

Yeah I’m a little afraid. - I would be fine without that experience.

Like, this is 13 knots.

So imagine 40. Like it's,

that's a storm.

Like that’s a gale.

I don't know, but I'm imagining

if we leave that up,

it's going to rip the sail apart

and that fork is going to...

I think we're going to hopefully take it down.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Well, Kiana didn't seem too scared about it.

She was excited.

Yeah.

She’s crazy.

You’re going out to sea

with a captain who’s not afraid of dying.

Hand over hand.

Stand, no.

Yes.

It’s a little intimidating.

Being so close to the ocean, it feels like

everything that's happening is not happening randomly,

and that whole thing of just being humble to the elements

also makes you more superstitious

and makes you feel

that whatever little sign of light in the clouds or whatever

nice experience that the sea brings you, you deserve that.

What are you doing?!

Stop this witchcraft!

Dude, I wonder if it's abandoned.

Uh, whistle or, uh, the horn!

There's a horn right there next to you.

I'm only getting static from your end.

Are you outside?

I think it's abandoned.

But we got static on the radio!

That is true.

Do you see anyone with binoculars?

It was so frightening

to be in the conditions that we were in,

with such swell and still with wind,

and this newfound sense of reality

that what happened to them

could happen to us, or worse?

If you can come to the bow for proof of life,

I'm not sure if radio signal is working.

Oh shit, we already jibed,

I need you to bring it around please.

Did you get that interference on video?

I don't know.

That was fucking weird, though, to get the interference.

That's so weird.

It was a very scary feeling

and we tried to get close, but we couldn't really with the waves.

But leaving the boat, I think that was the most scary.

Just like after that, thinking,

I wonder what happened?

Like, what's the story behind this boat?

And just feeling helpless, like we couldn't do anything.

And a feeling of wanting to alert somebody about this.

And just thinking about all these different scenarios

that could have happened and even thinking that

what if somebody was on that boat and injured?

Or what if this is somebody's father? Or,

I don't know. Just a lot of feelings and very strange to just

be the only boat out there seeing this and then just sailing away from it

without doing anything, without being able to do anything.

It was kind of like a strange

little ghost that just somehow

poked on our shoulder saying, this is a possibility.

I’ve been feeling kind of like shit for the past three days.

And today I took a COVID test

and I have COVID.

I don't understand.

But this is it.

It just made me feel very uncomfortable in those days,

because it made me feel more unsafe,

because I couldn't really rely on my own strength.

I was prepared to be seasick.

Kiana said seasickness lasts 3 to 5 days, and then you're cured.

So don't worry about it.

For me, it lasted the first two weeks.

Being super sleepy

and then puking every once in a while.

You know, I took it as it came,

and it did feel like I was this little baby,

new to the world,

like a newborn child being rocked to sleep

by this big mama.

I felt like I was being soothed into this new experience

through a dreamlike state.

It was very scary

to have someone so sick on the boat,

wasn't able to eat

or drink water for so many days,

and I had never seen that before.

I experienced seasickness passing much more quickly.

Made me very nervous

in the responsibility of keeping two people

healthy and alive.

It’s not good if I’m throwing up all my water.

A breeze started coming out of the east,

which was the direction that we were heading in,

and that could only mean in the Northern hemisphere at that time of year,

that there was a low pressure approaching from below us.

I think it was about 5 a.m. in the morning.

I think we had three-meter waves.

It was raining. It was wet.

Kiana!

I saw that the forestay had popped.

So the roller furler was just flapping around.

Kiana quickly realized that the only way to get it down

was to climb up the mast.

I had to pull her up, the deck was so slippery.

She just got the harness on and went up.

I felt like I was going to pass out the whole time.

I was sick.

I felt even too weak to cry for help, and I also felt like

there was no other option than to just do it.

This morning too, when that happened,

I'd been asleep for, like, 12 minutes,

and the forestay was down like that.

The drum on the thing

and it came unlashed.

Popped.

Between the ass and the mast I felt like I was just pulling on your skin.

A little bit.

Now I got to climb up there and tie it back on,

and then eventually we’ll put sail back up...

but not today.

But I gotta put that up soon.

For me, being inside

that bunk there in the front was... uncomfortable.

Not uncomfortable physically, mentally

because it was—

The sounds are just, they're very intense in there because you're in the front,

and the way we were sailing, the waves would slam on the side of the hull

so loud.

Aaah!

Also just getting used to what all the sounds are...

but at no point did I really feel relaxed

sleeping in that front bunk.

I could only sleep if I put a podcast on

or covered my ears completely with a blanket,

because the sounds, they were just too dramatic,

And I think it just for me,

it invoked some sort of like survival instinct.

I feel like

we’re just so adaptable as humans and

your level of comfort and discomfort

or whatever that is, just gets pushed all the time.

But there was also always some sort of comfort.

I guess it is just that thing that nothing is forever.

Ocean. Ocean. Ocean.

This is sailing vessel Mara Noka.

We would like to request a little bit less wind

if possible, over.

It doesn’t work.

It’s broken.

It's the salt. It got to it.

It’s tied on.

It's so close.

It's like so close.

I feel like I need a shower.

I’ll pay whoever makes us orange juice 20 bucks.

Let it go. Let it go some more.

Leave a little slack.

And dinner.

Fucking huge wave!

Rain before wind—?

Settle in!

Let me see.

It’s just split.

Ow!

It's not that bad.

A wave just hit

and did this to us.

Oh my God. Liz, what are you doing?

Get down from there, Liz!

Oh, she's hanging on for dear life.

Oh, my God, you have Liz.

It’s okay, Liz, you’re safe now.

I might reef the mainsail.

Yeah.

Probably before this meal is over.

Overnight, the wind started swinging,

and we were able to sail downwind.

In the middle of the night

we were flying.

Probably doing seven and a half knots.

By first light, the wind really picked up.

It was at its peak,

so I knew that I needed to reef the sail.

This bitch just went up.

Huh?

She just went up, yeah. - She went up the mast?

I attempted to reef it downwind,

which usually works,

but not at that wind speed.

And the sail ended up getting caught,

and I couldn't bring it down.

It swung to the other side and tore.

We should have taken it down.

No, I should have

done the taking it down differently.

I should have waited.

I should have done different things.

But I wasn't thinking

correctly.

It’s okay.

We were not able to stitch the sail,

because to be able to stitch the sail properly,

you need to put some kind of adhesive,

and that was not going to be, possible

in such conditions.

Pray for what?

I prayed for the forks.

I know.

Like us, the forks, the boom, the gaff, the sail. —Now I'm nervous.

Pruney.

Eww

♪ Rain, rain go away

♪ come again another day ♪

I just want to sleep.

In that book there's this one part

where he talks about

his first storm,

when he was a young merchant mariner,

and he's talking about the different captains he worked with,

and they're in a storm, and

they had like 70-foot seas.

And the captain just stood there the whole time

and never said a fucking word,

and he would just smoke cigarettes and stand there.

But he looked very calm,

and anytime somebody would talk to him or ask him something,

he would just nod or shake his head.

But he just stood there and stared out the window

the whole time.

And then the guy was like, uh,

talking about how it made him calm

because he knew that no matter what,

they were going to survive.

And I said, “I like that.”

While I'm sitting there reading,

smoking cigarettes, hiding.

♪ I have no money, nor anything to give

♪ The only thing I have is love to love

♪ If that's how you want me

♪ then I can love you

♪ but if you can't, there's nothing to do ♪

It's all been kind of like a test.

Yeah,

of what though?

Patience and trust.

Surrender.

Discomfort. We're not in control here.

She is.

The ocean or Kiana?

Both.

No, the Ocean really...

Oh my God.

Might be a coping mechanism

to joke around all the time, but

there were a lot of moments of just comical relief

or using humor to get through difficult situations,

and that is something that I appreciate

a lot about being around people

that are so good and so resilient is

it makes it easy to be stuck on a small boat

with each other.

It's so cool it's like,

it's like the water is on fire

and it’s all smoke, the clouds.

I'm out of here. Ah!

Where is that water coming from?

Rain from God.

Angel's tears.

That's plastic

right there.

Basically, everywhere

humans ingest enough microplastics

that it's equal to one credit card a week.

Microplastics act like a magnet to all the pollutions that are in the water.

So it's just floating around, like all this stuff

that’s been banned since the 80s,

and when it finds a piece of microplastic, it's latches onto it.

And that definitely is not being like, going through our body.

That's just staying there.

So we're just ingesting it from what?

Water—

Water, food, everything.

Yeah.

Fish. Water. Food. Salt,

sea salt.

There's like little white flakes—

Floating in my tea.

After a full year

or even almost two years of being naive

and always having people tell me, ‘wow, you're so brave’,

or ‘you guys are crazy’ or all these things, and I was like,

I don't really know why everyone says that to me,

and I never felt any of those things that people were talking about.

Also, it was all the time an imaginary scenario

crossing the Atlantic on this boat,

and then suddenly you're actually leaving land on this boat,

and then all of it just comes into your mind like,

“Oh, shit, it's I guess, oh.”

Might be a little crazy.

Easy, right?

It's just stressful.

And we could have been way better prepared.

I just didn't really expect it to be that strong.

It's going to end when it's going to end.

Like there’s nothing I can do about it,

and it's going to end, and

that's it.

So all the shit in the world could break,

and so long as this boat stays upright,

we're fine.

We have 12 days left

of water on the port bow at one gallon

per person.

It’s caught! Behind you.

That should never happen.

Very dangerous.

You didn't, you just didn't tell me

to let this go.

Yeah but you started pulling it, so I thought you had let it go.

You have to let it go, then pull.

It's funny how the mind just stays positive.

Like I keep looking at the sky

and whatever little something in the light, I’m like:

“Oh looks like it's clearing up!”

Chilled Wine...

Congratulations.

Thank you for

getting us this far.

Thanks for not falling overboard.

We got drunk from drinking all that—

Nobody needs to know that it costs $5.99.

Three glasses.

Half way!

Half way.

Over there is nice.

Let’s go over there!

Fuck it, let’s just go wherever it’s blue.

I’ve got 37, 1, 6, 4, 58, 35 West.

Ocean, ocean, ocean,

this is sailing vessel Mara Noka in the center of you,

requesting a little bit less wind, some sunshine

and less swell. Over.

It’s stuck.

♪ Mr. Storm

♪ you're never gonna break my heart! ♪

Okay, it can stay like this…

if you need to go downstairs, come take your pancakes.

Yes!

Sunshine!

Ahhhh!

Oh God.

Woah.

There’s so much happening.

Woooo!

Yeah!

North Atlan—

Urgh!

I feel very rewarded

for coming out of the other end of that storm.

And the sun started to shine.

And our spirits started to rise.

And we were able to climb out of our

little dark, wet holes

and dry ourselves and dry our things and be able to

connect again and return to community.

Because I think in those days of tempest

we had retreated into our own solitude

to keep our own individual minds strong.

It was

truly a gift to have beautiful blue skies

and beautiful sunsets and sunrises

and the sun shining and wildlife around us

beginning to show itself again.

It was truly lovely.

What kind of whale was that?

So happy to see you.

You getting a little sun?

This is heaven.

You appreciate the small things in life

with this lifestyle.

Like being able to wash yourself

after three days

of smelling like a shoe.

Reel him in.

Holy Mother. —It’s a Mahi Mahi!

Oh my God, oh my God. —you are so pretty!

This is so exciting.

Please stay with us,

Stay with us. Please, God.

What?

Oh my gosh.

Oh my God! Oh my God!

This is already

harder to get out.

Thank you.

He was a very sweet fish.

He had, like, a very calm personality.

I think he sacrificed himself to us.

He did.

I'm sorry.

I decided to not trawl for the fish for the first time

and actually hold the lure,

and after ten minutes,

really thinking about today was the day I was going to catch a fish,

we caught this one,

and it was pretty easy to pull in.

For this gift from the ocean

After 25 days.

We’re going to eat every part of it.

Yeah.

Thank you Ocean.

Thank you fishy. - Thank you Mahi Mahi!

There’s his heart.

That’s the heart? - Yeah.

So good.

It feels so natural.

The loss of sense of time.

It's totally non-linear.

You just are. Every day.

But what time is it? What do I need to do?

Where do I need to go? I need to meet somebody at 9 o’clock.

It doesn't exist. There is no 9 o’clock.

Wow, it's so beautiful!

Swim under there.

♪ Yes, Indeed, yes, indeed

♪ you will have my love again ♪

So what did we see today?

We saw...

I saw a food wrapper,

and I saw some clear plastic

and then I saw, I think a little yogurt cup,

and then I saw a plastic bottle

and actually, there was a plastic cup too.

It’s pretty wild

we still went that right direction

with all the drifting.

Where was the ghost ship? That was here? - That was after...

Because I remember you saying,

“Look, we're doing pretty well.”

♪ Dominican Bachata ♪

Ay, José!

Stop it!

He's very skilled.

I'm just learning the bachata.

It’s so good.

So good.

All right.

It's time.

Almost there.

Mackerel skies and mare’s tails

make tall ships carry low sails.

So that means we're gonna have wind?

She really got up in my business.

What's up baby?

Wha— Hi, it's good to see you.

Yeah.

Turn the light off,

she’s trying to go to the light.

It is a storm petrel.

It would presumably indicate a breeding site

in the general vicinity,

meaning…

We’re close to land. - We're almost there.

Dun-dun-dun.

If you're doing something or participating in a life

that maybe you shouldn't be or is not meant for you,

there's a lot of ill feelings,

depression,

anger, anxiety, frustration,

and it's not necessarily that there's something wrong with us.

There's not.

Feeling peace or feeling right.

Having that complete knowledge that you're doing

what you need to be doing is really incredible,

and I think it involves trusting that,

because how miserable would it be to

just live your entire life feeling uncomfortable,

feeling like there's something else out there

but you're afraid to leave.

Maybe a relationship or a job or

your home town.

A false sense of comfort,

because the unknown is scary,

but it's not scary anymore.

As soon as you let it go, as soon as you dive in,

it's not scary.

I never felt afraid.

Sometimes I felt worried, but I never felt afraid.

Just because you're fighting for your life,

but in a positive way,

in an intrinsic human animal way,

surpassing fear

and understanding that fear is not fear.

It's a mourning more of the idea

of letting go of what you know, and

that as soon as you do,

there's a whole other experience out there

that you can experience until you feel that feeling again,

and then you let go of that one.

I think it's so important.

To just trust yourself.

All the time.

Don't waste time, you know.

Don't waste time on what you think should be,

and just go for what you feel should be.

Oh my God!

My father, who’s a sailor,

he told me once that he loves to watch

the big waves crash onto shore and that impact,

and I asked him why.

And he told me that those waves,

they travel so far, and

they've been through so many different things that

make them into what they are,

and then once they hit shore,

that whole journey ends,

and there is just something beautiful

and something kind of brutal in that water

having been able to move,

having been able to transform.

The journey ends

but then that water returns to the ocean

and it becomes something else,

and it goes on another journey

and it transforms in another way.

I felt slightly excited to see land,

but not at all in the way

that I would have imagined

one week into the journey at all.

Like it felt like the ocean, the boat, the sailing

was suddenly the home and the familiar world

and the comfort zone,

and then looking at land seemed intimidating.

I did not want at all to land there.

I was so kind of,

it was kind of sad

that we were in this magical container of like,

just being in presence.

This whole experience feels like this beautiful lesson,

and it felt like we had to go through challenges

She just died. - Almost made it to Portugal.

that the ocean brought to us, but almost as if

the ocean was like looking at us

and being like, I'm going to just

test them out, see how they do,

and then we got through it

and then,

the reward was just so much beauty,

and to me, it felt like we went into another dimension,

and then suddenly the ocean

being this intimidating

thing that you always were slightly

anxious about, what was going to bring,

suddenly just felt like like a paradise

of sea life.

In my soul,

inside of me, this experience is

like a massive moving thing,

so I don’t know.

I feel like after this,

I trust myself

in a level that I never did

because I know that I can go through hardship

and uncomfortable situations

like seasickness for two weeks

and still have like high spirits

and not complain about it because I can’t–

like, how can I complain about something so small

when I've experienced something so immense around me?

I saw myself in a new light.

I've never been in those kinds of experiences

where I'm like, really able to see how strong I am.

And not just strong physically,

but on the mental and emotional side too.

The ocean,

the earth, the animals, the wind, the sun,

that's real.

The more in tune you become

with yourself and your abilities to create

a life or to imagine

it become reality, to manifest, to

to fight that fear, to put the fear aside,

and really go for it

the more

you become connected to the whole.