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1
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:31,765
I'll take the first section if
you're finished with it, dear.
2
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,702
I said I'll take
the first section.
3
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,037
The woman's page?
4
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:39,573
Society news?
5
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,209
The used car section.
6
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,480
How about the classified, I'm
looking for a new husband.
7
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,385
Hello?
8
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:52,220
Hello, what?
9
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,090
Oh, it's nice to have you back.
10
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:57,558
Sorry, honey.
11
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:01,129
I was just reading this awful
article by Beverly King.
12
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,464
Oh, who did she have
in the fire this week?
13
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:04,098
Billy Gordon.
14
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,899
You know, the comic?
15
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,201
Fire is right.
16
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:08,769
She'd toast him like
he was a marshmallow.
17
00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,304
Listen to this.
18
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:13,073
The other day I had lunch
with funny man, Billy Gordon.
19
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,708
A lavish lunch, during
the course of which
20
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,744
he sprayed folding money
around to the waiter,
21
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:20,080
captain, and hat checker
like a farmer selling wheat.
22
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:21,882
And I insisted he
take me to his home.
23
00:01:21,982 --> 00:01:23,717
We were met at the
door by his wife.
24
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,087
She had on the newest
dress Billy had bought for,
25
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,657
obviously to wear at
a party celebrating
26
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:32,993
Roosevelt's inauguration.
27
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:33,927
Awful.
28
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,263
Well get this.
29
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:38,166
Billy's son, Ronnie, had
to leave in a big hurry.
30
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,400
Seems a friend was
going to let him
31
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,235
borrow his bicycle for an hour.
32
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,103
She's got borrow underlined.
33
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,773
Apparently Mr Gordon's
considerable success
34
00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,075
is not shared with his family.
35
00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:51,645
Capsule comment, "Mr.
Gordon is a funny man."
36
00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:55,349
Funny spelled P-H-O-N-E-Y.
37
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,785
That's an awful thing
to write about a man.
38
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:59,187
But he does sound rather frugal.
39
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,454
Oh, frugal my foot.
40
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,955
He was brought up with nothing.
41
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,325
A poor kid from a
poor family, so he
42
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,194
knows the value of the dollar.
43
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,128
Well if he knows the
value of the dollar,
44
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,897
why doesn't he know
it with bell boys,
45
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:11,031
waiters and hat check girls?
46
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:11,899
That's different, honey.
47
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:12,933
He's in the public eye!
48
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:14,435
He's got to put up a front.
49
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,970
After all, he doesn't want
to be known as a tight wad.
50
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,339
But he's a good guy, no kidding.
51
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,741
He's helped many who
have fell off the ladder,
52
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,075
including yours truly.
53
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:24,278
He got me a job when I
first came to this town.
54
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,480
Look he's a little tight
with his family, that's
55
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,582
the only weakness
in his character.
56
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,751
And that's Beverly
King's specialty,
57
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,119
finding the weak spot.
58
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,521
Yeah.
59
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,523
I'd sure hate to have her
go to work on me, boy.
60
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:36,957
Shoo.
61
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,794
She could never find anything
derogatory to say about you.
62
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,062
Oh, baby.
63
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,298
Anybody could nail
anybody down if that's
64
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,866
what they set out to do.
65
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,801
In our business, you got to
keep your guard up all the time.
66
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,738
Yes, and Beverly King has
a pretty nasty typewriter.
67
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,873
Yeah, it should be
washed out with soap.
68
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,047
Oh, daddy.
69
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,048
Yes, sweetheart.
70
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,316
Can I talk to you a minute?
71
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,351
Why, of course, darling.
72
00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,885
What do you want to talk about?
73
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:08,856
Why don't you sit down and
make yourself nice and comfy?
74
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,425
All right.
75
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,793
Well.
76
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:13,794
Is that all right?
77
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,162
Why, that's perfect.
78
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,497
I never got such service
in my whole life.
79
00:03:16,597 --> 00:03:18,266
Should I bring your slippers?
80
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:19,099
My slippers?
81
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,133
Oh no, dear.
82
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,669
I'm going out in a little while.
83
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,837
You could put them in your
pocket and take them with you.
84
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,310
That won't be
necessary, darling.
85
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,978
You're so handsome, Daddy.
86
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,585
No, wait a minute.
87
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:41,154
Before you strain your eyelids,
let's get one thing straight.
88
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,557
You are not going
to get your own TV
89
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,359
set for your very own room.
90
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,194
Do you understand?
91
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,563
Now, do you still think
I'm a handsome man?
92
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,865
Oh you just make me so mad.
93
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:56,837
Hi, Daddy.
94
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:57,671
Hello, Son.
95
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,472
How you feeling?
96
00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,840
I feel fine.
How are you?
97
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:00,674
Fine.
98
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:01,442
Sit down.
99
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,677
Make yourself comfortable.
100
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:04,312
There.
101
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,346
How's that feel?
102
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,449
Holy smoke, they're unionized.
103
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,183
Now, what do you want?
104
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,151
A motor scooter.
105
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,953
A motor scooter?
106
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,422
Get lost.
107
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,324
Are you out of your cotton
picking mind or something?
108
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,058
You're not getting
any motor scooter.
109
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,393
But Daddy!
110
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,295
Jerry Dratler's got one,
why can't I have one?
111
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,730
I don't care what
Jerry Dratler's got,
112
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,264
you're not going to
get a motor scooter.
113
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:25,433
And what is it
with you two today?
114
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:26,900
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
115
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,836
You know there are some
things you have to do without.
116
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,839
You got to learn that
sometimes, in your lifetime,
117
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,641
you're going to have to
do without something.
118
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,645
Can't I have the television set
and do without something else?
119
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,282
Like what?
120
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,584
You can have my
toothbrush back.
121
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,055
Thanks.
122
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:49,623
Daddy, look at this picture.
123
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,793
You get 60 miles to the gallon
and it only has two wheels.
124
00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:56,397
Look at all the money
you'll save on tires.
125
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,132
Thanks for saving me the money,
but you're not getting it.
126
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,434
Two wheels or no wheels.
127
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:02,035
Where do you intend
to ride this scooter?
128
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,371
On the west side highway?
129
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,406
Daddy, you don't have
to ride it in the city.
130
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:08,275
Jerry's dad takes him out
in the country every weekend
131
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,543
to ride his scooter.
132
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,045
You see, his father
loves his little boy.
133
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,717
While I'm spending
the weekends with you
134
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,486
in the country riding
scooters, who's going
135
00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,954
to be doing my act at the club?
136
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,356
OK.
137
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,226
If your jobs more important
than your only son,
138
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,230
who needs fresh air
and sunshine, who's
139
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:36,704
pale little face grows thinner
and more unhealthy everyday,
140
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:39,840
who may go long before
his time because he needs
141
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,709
to be out in the
country where there's
142
00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,877
fresh air and the bright sun.
143
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,121
Come on, Linda, we'll never
get anywhere with this man.
144
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,856
He's got a heart
like an ice cube.
145
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,092
That's not true, he's sweet
and kind, and I love him.
146
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,494
Well thank you, sweetheart.
147
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,996
Now do I get the
television set?
148
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,699
No!
149
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:10,738
We'll never get
anywhere with that man.
150
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:11,371
Anybody home?
151
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,205
Oh hi, Liz.
152
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,106
Hi, Dan.
153
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,241
How ya' feeling?
154
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,142
I feel fine, honey.
How are you?
155
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,109
Sit down, Dan.
156
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:19,212
Make yourself comfortable.
157
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,148
How's that?
158
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,718
I see you paid your
union dues, too.
159
00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:25,953
What are you talking about?
160
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:26,820
What do you want?
161
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:27,788
What?
162
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,422
Wait.
163
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,923
Let's see now.
164
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:33,326
I know you've got your
own television set.
165
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:37,064
And for
a motor scooter.
166
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:37,998
I give up.
167
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,232
What do you want?
168
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,768
Well, now listen, Dan.
169
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,636
You know, as your press agent,
I have to do some things,
170
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,037
whether I like them or not.
171
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,105
Hi, Liz.
172
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,039
Oh, hi, Kathy.
173
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,240
My, you look well!
174
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:48,241
Oh, you're up early.
175
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,477
Had you had your breakfast.
176
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,512
Don't be too free
with the hospitality
177
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:53,213
till you find out why I'm here.
178
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:54,114
Oh?
179
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:54,915
What's the matter, Liz?
180
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:55,883
Something wrong?
181
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,384
Well--
182
00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:58,218
Come on.
183
00:06:58,318 --> 00:06:59,186
Tell me.
184
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:00,020
Well, now, don't rush me.
185
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,421
I'll tell you.
186
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,956
Just remember now, this
is something I had to do.
187
00:07:03,056 --> 00:07:03,791
You're not gonna like it.
188
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,425
In fact, you're gonna get mad.
189
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,461
Why are you crying
before you get hurt?
190
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:08,896
Look, with you
and me, it's never
191
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,230
been employer and employee.
you know that mother.
192
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,431
We're pals.
193
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,900
Look, there's something
you had to do.
194
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,334
Let's not make a
federal case of it.
195
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,603
I'll understand, no
matter what it is.
196
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:16,537
Now, what did you do?
197
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:19,306
Well-- well--
198
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,608
All we do is get as
far as "well" here.
199
00:07:20,708 --> 00:07:21,775
What are you thinking about?
200
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,543
Say it.
201
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,944
Well, how bad could it be?
202
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,445
I mean, you're acting like
you got me an interview
203
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:26,880
with Beverly King or something.
204
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,353
You didn't.
205
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,388
Elizabeth Margaret
O'Neil, you didn't.
206
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,824
Now, Dan, you said
you'd understand.
207
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:37,558
Oh, I do.
208
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,026
I do understand.
-You do?
209
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,427
Yes, and now there's something
you've gotta understand.
210
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:42,730
You're fired!
211
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,932
Oh, Danny, what could I do?
212
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,300
When she wants to do a
story, she doesn't ask you.
213
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,669
She tells you.
214
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,504
And if you don't cooperate,
she'll murder you.
215
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,072
And if I do cooperate,
she'll murder me.
216
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,441
Oh, sweetheart, you've
got nothing to hide.
217
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:55,543
I know I've got
nothing to hide,
218
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:56,710
and she's a cinch to find it.
219
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,983
Look, honey, this woman searches
till she finds something,
220
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,352
and it won't be hard to
find something with me.
221
00:08:05,452 --> 00:08:06,954
I'm loud and hot-headed.
222
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,557
Unfair to press agents.
223
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,124
Don't help me, huh?
224
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,226
You got me into this mess,
you're getting me out of it.
225
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,061
I can't, Danny.
226
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,362
It's too late.
227
00:08:15,462 --> 00:08:17,497
She's coming in Chicago
just for this story.
228
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,232
She arrives tomorrow.
229
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,367
-She arrives tomorrow?
-Yeah.
230
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,234
I'm packing.
231
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,169
I'm leaving tonight.
232
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,170
No.
233
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,337
You're just being silly.
234
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,639
Why don't you relax
and be yourself?
235
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,140
Didn't I just read to
you how she murdered
236
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,508
that poor Billy Gordon?
237
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:30,878
Well, we're a different
family than Billy Gordon.
238
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:34,481
I didn't get these clothes
for Roosevelt's inauguration,
239
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,283
and Rusty already has a bicycle.
240
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,386
So why get so upset?
241
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:40,688
Well, all right.
242
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,222
Bring her to the club
after the late show,
243
00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,757
and I'll give her
15, 20 minutes.
244
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,926
Oh, well, I'm afraid you'll
have to give her a little more
245
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:46,860
time than that.
246
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,595
OK an hour.
247
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:48,696
More than that.
248
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:49,963
What does she
want, a whole day?
249
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:50,631
Well, no.
250
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:51,464
I should hope not.
251
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:52,532
A whole week.
252
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,039
You look just fine.
253
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,273
And you too, Rusty.
254
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,710
Gosh, Kathy, why do we
have to get all dressed up?
255
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:06,046
She's smearing Dad, not us.
256
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,281
Rusty, you have to
dress right to make
257
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,850
an impression on Miss King.
258
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,052
There she is.
259
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,187
Now, remember, I went you
to behave like little ladies
260
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,157
and gentlemen.
261
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:18,158
Hi, Kathy.
262
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:19,292
Hi.
263
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,861
Miss Beverly King,
Mrs. Williams.
264
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,363
I'm very happy to meet you.
265
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,264
Thank you.
266
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,867
Not everybody is.
267
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,201
Your brood?
268
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,102
Oh yes.
269
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,672
This is Linda and Rusty.
270
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:35,075
Did you really fly all the
way from Chicago on a broom?
271
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:35,943
Linda, please.
272
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,084
But daddy said--
273
00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:44,918
I know, darling.
274
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,287
Why don't you come over here.
275
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:48,656
That's good.
276
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,290
I'm sorry, Miss King.
277
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,591
Oh, that's all right.
278
00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:55,829
It's nice to know my
column's so widely read.
279
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,530
Liz, I thought you said
there were three of them.
280
00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:58,999
Oh.
281
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,433
Oh, Terri, our older daughter,
is away for the weekend.
282
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,770
You're occupying her room.
283
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,238
Won't you please sit down and
make yourself comfortable?
284
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,440
Thank you.
285
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:11,745
Well, where is my
target for tonight?
286
00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:12,612
Oh, I don't know.
287
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:13,814
Daddy just called.
288
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,749
He'll be here any minute now.
289
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:18,886
Miss King, if you would care
to get started on your article,
290
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:22,055
I can give you a son's eye view.
291
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:26,193
Rusty, why don't you help me
take Miss King's bags upstairs?
292
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,060
Come along, Linda.
293
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:27,895
You too.
294
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:31,331
Nice children, aren't they?
295
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,465
Oh yes.
296
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,600
Think you're going
to love it here.
297
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,568
I know you'll be
very comfortable.
298
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:38,338
I'm awfully sorry I
have to run, Beverly.
299
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,673
But I just wanna tell you this.
300
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,775
Danny's a wonderful guy,
and I know you're gonna
301
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,576
love doing this story on him.
302
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,913
I'm sure I will, Liz.
303
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:46,747
Yeah.
304
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,518
Listen, Beverly,
I'm not asking you
305
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:55,655
to throw the game or anything,
but give him a break, huh?
306
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,858
Oh, look, Liz.
307
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,660
I don't enjoy taking
people apart, you know?
308
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,330
It's just, I don't like phonies.
309
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,564
Well, one thing's for sure.
310
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,166
Whatever else he is,
Danny's no phony.
311
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:06,800
I know.
312
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,601
It's why I'm here.
313
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,103
Come again? ?
314
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:14,041
I wanted a chance to write
something nice for a change.
315
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,643
Everybody says that Danny's
a real honest to goodness
316
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:20,147
guy with no hypocrisy,
no phoniness.
317
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,716
So that being the case, there's
nothing to worry about from me.
318
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,785
You mean you're gonna write
a nice story about him?
319
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:28,055
I came here to write a
nice story about a nice guy.
320
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,790
And I'm very happy
about the assignment.
321
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,925
Oh boy, does that take
a load off my mind.
322
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,894
I can go about my business
with a free conscience.
323
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,295
Kathy, I've gotta run.
324
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,864
Oh, Liz, aren't you
gonna wait for Danny?
325
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,131
I have to catch a
train to Philadelphia
326
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,400
for that foreign
correspondents' dinner.
327
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,234
Oh.
328
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:42,202
Oh, hi.
329
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,804
Hi, Liz.
Where are you rushing off to?
330
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,338
I have to catch a
train to Philadelphia,
331
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,940
but I leave you in good hands.
332
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,810
Miss Beverly King,
Danny Williams!
333
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,278
Stay as sweet as you are.
334
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,412
Thank you.
335
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,947
Just be yourself.
336
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,115
Don't have to tell me that.
337
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,784
I'm always myself.
338
00:11:56,884 --> 00:12:01,321
Well, well, well,
isn't this something,
339
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,857
that our humble home is
graced by the presence
340
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:06,693
of my favorite columnist.
341
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:08,661
Welcome to our house.
342
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,597
It's so nice to have you here.
343
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,332
Oh, darling, some things
for you, sweetheart.
344
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,767
Thank you, dear.
345
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,303
A box of delicious candy
and some flowers, as always.
346
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,670
And this is for you, my pet.
347
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:21,141
And for my big boy,
Russell, all right?
348
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:24,711
Daddy, aren't you a little
mixed up on your dates?
349
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:25,712
What?
350
00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:26,746
Well, Christmas has passed.
351
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:27,881
It's nobody's birthday, and--
352
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:28,715
I know, sweetheart.
353
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:29,749
I do.
354
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,754
I guess I'm just like
any other father,
355
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:38,191
over-indulgent when it
comes to the kiddies.
356
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,093
I'll go put these go put
these flowers in water.
357
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:40,928
Excuse me.
358
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:42,162
Oh, dear, I'll put them, dear.
359
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,797
We'll put them in
the vase right here.
360
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,934
We'll just take out the ones
I brought you yesterday.
361
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,241
Not putting out flowers
the way they used to.
362
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,611
I'll get the dust pan.
363
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:02,115
Gee, she just loves candy, my
wife, and flowers, oh, flowers.
364
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,351
I always see that she
has fresh flowers.
365
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,054
Matter of fact, when I'm on
the road, I wire her some.
366
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,758
I suppose you wanna
find out all about us.
367
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,661
I intend to.
368
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:15,996
Well, what would you
like me to tell you.
369
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,866
Well, before you tell me
anything, why don't you
370
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,334
just go about your
normal lives, and let
371
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,670
me sit here and observe.
372
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,205
Say, that's a splendid idea.
373
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,975
Children, we'll just make
believe Miss King is not here,
374
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,409
and we'll live our normal lives.
375
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:30,610
OK.
Come on, Linda.
376
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,112
We'll put on our
old clothes again.
377
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,780
Russ!
378
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:34,714
Funny.
379
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,283
That's funny, isn't it?
380
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,351
He always-- he's working up a
little comedy routine 'cause
381
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,520
he wants to follow in
his father's footsteps.
382
00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,788
Yes, sir.
Well, go ahead, kids.
383
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:43,390
Go on.
Go along.
384
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,393
Open up your presents, and we'll
have our story a little later.
385
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,294
Story hour?
386
00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,395
Yeah, you know.
387
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,598
I always devote an hour
each evening telling
388
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,766
fairy tales to the children.
389
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,602
What story would you
like to hear tonight?
390
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,370
I kind of like the
one you just told.
391
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,485
Honey, aren't you a little
bit ashamed of the impression
392
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:14,787
you're making on the children?
393
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,256
DANNY: What impression?
394
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,159
Well, sweetheart, do you
think it's a good idea to have
395
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,694
them see you behave this way?
396
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:24,031
Look, I issue you
that they are thinking
397
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,900
of nothing except the
presents they're getting.
398
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,735
I hope you're right.
399
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,037
Believe me, I know I'm right.
400
00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,472
Look, honey, I don't
like working on this act
401
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,374
anymore than you like seeing it.
402
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,508
But I've got to do it.
403
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:36,443
I can't help myself.
404
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,577
All right, dear.
405
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:38,345
Now, everything
will be all right.
406
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:39,412
Don't worry.
407
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:40,647
Now, you sleep in late
tomorrow, and I'll
408
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:41,848
get up and fix breakfast again.
409
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,150
Oh, honey.
Have it your way.
410
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,684
Are you going to fix
waffles again tomorrow?
411
00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:45,885
Yeah, did you like my waffles.
412
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,154
They were delicious.
413
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,355
You know, they're
much better than mine?
414
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,189
Oh, thank you, dear.
415
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,723
-What's your recipe?
-Huh?
416
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:51,791
How do you make your waffles?
417
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,625
How do I make 'em?
418
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,194
Uh-huh.
419
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:57,864
Well, first I have a-- well,
I take a glass of orange juice.
420
00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,600
And then I take up
of black coffee.
421
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:01,701
For waffles?
422
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,303
No, for me, to
get my eyes open.
423
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,074
Then?
424
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,775
And then I take the telephone
and call Lindy's and tell 'em
425
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:09,609
to send up waffles.
426
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:14,914
Danny Williams.
427
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:18,118
Look, all is fair in
love, war, and interviews.
428
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:20,353
And as long as that
woman is in this house,
429
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:23,556
I am gonna do everything I can
to make an impression on her.
430
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,858
Don't you think you'd make
a much better impression
431
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:28,128
if you'd just be yourself?
432
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:32,032
Sweetheart, let's
just do it my way, huh?
433
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:33,933
I got her wrapped
around my little finger.
434
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,970
She is downstairs right
now, pounding out a story
435
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,039
for her millions of
readers, telling them
436
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:42,042
that Danny Williams is
without a doubt the most
437
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:46,679
sincere, honest, lovable,
and thoughtful character
438
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,048
she's ever met.
439
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,417
Danny Williams is without
a doubt, the biggest
440
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,853
phony I've ever met.
441
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:56,123
Sure, I'm disappointed, Ed.
442
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:57,690
Here, I picked the one guy
I thought I could write
443
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,327
a nice column about, and he
turns out to be the biggest tin
444
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:02,862
horn of the lot.
445
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,431
Oh, now, look, you know me, Ed.
446
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,699
I don't care what kind of a
guy he is, as long as he says,
447
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:07,667
I am what I am.
448
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,002
Take it or leave it.
449
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,470
And when he turns out to
be a great, big phony,
450
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,473
I'm not-- huh?
451
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:18,411
Uh, no, I'll bring
this one in personally.
452
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:20,980
It'll be too hot for
the mails to handle.
453
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:33,360
Come and see what Daddy's
got for all of you.
454
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,561
There you are.
455
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,029
Russ, that-- that's for you.
456
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,864
And this is for you, sweetheart.
457
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,099
And for baby Linda.
458
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,200
Another present?
459
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:40,900
Golly.
460
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,135
Uh-huh.
461
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,837
Gee, Daddy, couldn't
you skip one day?
462
00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:48,475
I think I'm losing
my enthusiasm.
463
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,609
Funny line, isn't it?
464
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:50,910
I tell you, he's gonna
take after his father.
465
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,712
Let me write that down.
466
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:53,613
Well, kids, run along.
467
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:54,947
Come on.
468
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,849
Go and open your presents,
have a good time.
469
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:59,819
What don't you open
your gift, dear?
470
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,354
Oh, cool.
471
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:02,189
A squirt gun!
472
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,726
I'm gonna fill it
full of ink and let
473
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:13,766
that smarty Steve have it right
in her face, nice black ink.
474
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,069
I got a bubble pipe.
475
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,338
I begged for one
of these for months,
476
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,940
but Kathy always said she
didn't want me squirting
477
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,009
water around the house.
478
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:25,612
And Daddy said I was
too young to smoke.
479
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,184
Linda, I don't
think we're making
480
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,686
the most of this opportunity.
481
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,255
What?
482
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,990
Well, the only reason Daddy
brings home presents every day
483
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,992
is because he wants
that lady reporter
484
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,861
to write nice things about him.
485
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,396
Well, isn't that all right?
486
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:47,066
Sure, but we don't have to
settle for this chicken feed.
487
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,202
Let's hit him for something big.
488
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:51,971
It's not nice to
hit your father.
489
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,706
I don't mean hit him, silly.
490
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:57,076
I mean, make him give us
things we really want,
491
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,245
like a motor-scooter.
492
00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,847
And even my own TV set?
493
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,048
Right.
494
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,082
It can't miss.
495
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,385
Now, here's the way we work it.
496
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,755
I'm not up on the
new songs, but here's
497
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,523
a great oldie I kinda like.
498
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:30,042
(SINGING): What'll I do when
you are far away, and I am loo?
499
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,244
What'll I do?
500
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:47,827
What'll I do when I am
wondering who is kissing you?
501
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:58,638
Linda, Linda, Linda,
dear, Linda, dear.
502
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,139
Linda, listen to Daddy.
503
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,774
You mustn't disturb Daddy.
504
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:07,380
I wouldn't have to disturb you,
Daddy, if I had my own TV set.
505
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,817
Well, dear, you mustn't--
mustn't interrupt Daddy.
506
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,452
Now, don't be rude now.
507
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:15,154
Linda, I'm surprised at you!
508
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:18,358
You want to give Miss
King a bad impression?
509
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:19,959
Daddy wouldn't like that.
510
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:22,895
He wouldn't want her to get a
bad impression about anybody in
511
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,130
the family, would you, Daddy?
512
00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:25,031
No, of course.
513
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,299
Of course, I wouldn't
514
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,166
Course he wouldn't.
515
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,268
You see, Miss King?
516
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,736
I know my father.
517
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,405
I know him better than anybody
else in the whole world.
518
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,475
So if you want to know anything
about him, just ask me.
519
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,645
Yeah, Russ, why don't you take
Linda and go out and play, huh?
520
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:42,315
You know, Linda, I know Daddy's
gonna get you a television set,
521
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,051
just like I know he's gonna
get me a motor-scooter.
522
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,586
'Cause he knows
they'll make us happy.
523
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,356
He wouldn't want Miss King to
write her article that we're
524
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,491
unhappy because you don't
have a television set
525
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,393
and I don't have a
motor-scooter to ride out
526
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:56,095
in the sunshine and fresh
air so I can get some color
527
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,430
in my pale little cheeks.
528
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,370
So your sister's going
to get a television set,
529
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:05,505
and you are going to get
a motor-scooter, huh?
530
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,007
Right, isn't that so, Daddy?
531
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,876
No, it's not so.
532
00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,043
Oh?
533
00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:12,178
And don't worry
about getting color
534
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,280
in your pale little cheeks.
535
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,381
You're gonna get
plenty of color,
536
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:17,684
but not where you expect it.
537
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:21,053
You wouldn't want Miss King to
think you're stingy, would you?
538
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:21,888
Go to your room.
539
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,390
You two, go on.
540
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,958
I'm ashamed of you!
541
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:26,993
And I'm more ashamed of myself.
542
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,731
Look, Miss King, I didn't
mind putting on an act
543
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,800
to get a few kind
words in your column,
544
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,168
but when my kids start acting
like a couple of blackmailers,
545
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:37,770
then the act has
gone far enough!
546
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:38,871
Now, Danny, calm down.
547
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,239
What calm down?
548
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,974
So she came here to find
out about Danny Williams?
549
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,776
Well, she's gonna find out.
550
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,546
I happen to be a loud,
inconsiderate man!
551
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,582
I very rarely come home
loaded down with gifts.
552
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,251
If anything, I come home
loaded down with complaints,
553
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,521
like any other
husband, only worse.
554
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,623
And I do not bring my
children presents excepting
555
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:58,425
on Christmas, on
their birthdays,
556
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:01,528
and after they've been spanked.
557
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:02,829
Yeah.
558
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,631
When they get outta line,
I whack 'em back into line.
559
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,165
That's the way my
father brought me up,
560
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,534
and that's the way I'm
bringing my children up,
561
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,169
and I'm apologizing
to nobody for it!
562
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,604
Danny, stop it.
563
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,806
Really, Miss King, he's the
nicest guy in the world.
564
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,542
Why do you have to make a
monster out of yourself?
565
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,844
I'd rather be a monster
than a weak-kneed jellyfish.
566
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,347
And you know I can't stand
acting like this any longer.
567
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,213
So go on.
Tell her.
568
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:22,415
Tell her everything.
569
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:23,416
She should know a lot about me.
Go on.
570
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:24,283
Tell her how I snore.
571
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:26,853
Oh, you don't snore!
572
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,689
That proves I'm a hypocrite,
because I'd like to snore!
573
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:33,059
That's what I'm
gonna do from now on.
574
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,461
Go ahead, kid.
575
00:21:34,561 --> 00:21:35,562
Sharpen up your fangs
and have yourself a ball.
576
00:21:44,504 --> 00:21:47,407
Two days' work shot to pieces.
577
00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:49,141
You're not gonna
write about him.
578
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:50,443
Thank goodness.
579
00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,978
Oh, I'm gonna write
about him, all right.
580
00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:58,284
Not about that Danny Williams,
about the one I just met.
581
00:21:58,385 --> 00:21:59,652
Happy to know you, Mr. Williams.
582
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:04,757
Thanks.
583
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:07,894
I'll get on the story tomorrow
morning, right after breakfast.
584
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:11,030
Breakfast, we gonna have some
more those wonderful waffles
585
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:11,864
tomorrow?
586
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,169
Look, about those waffles.
587
00:22:17,269 --> 00:22:19,038
Darling, now that
we're back to normal,
588
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:20,507
why you can sleep late tomorrow.
589
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:21,708
I'll get up and fix breakfast.
590
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:24,511
Oh, why don't you
both sleep late.
591
00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:27,046
I'll get up early.
592
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,114
I can call Lindy's myself.
593
00:22:41,694 --> 00:22:43,162
I've gotta find it, Linda.
594
00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:44,797
I've gotta find
that water pistol.
595
00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:47,634
If Daddy finds out it's loaded
with ink, he'll murder me!
596
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:53,473
What are you looking
for, children?
597
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:55,041
Oh, nothing, nothing.
598
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:55,875
We're just playing.
599
00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:56,743
Come on, Linda.
600
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,248
Honey, how soon for dinner?
601
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:03,315
Oh, pretty soon, darling.
602
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:04,350
How's the article coming?
603
00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:05,317
Article?
604
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:06,352
That's no article, honey.
605
00:23:06,453 --> 00:23:07,654
It's a attribute she's writing.
606
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:09,589
See how much better
it is to be yourself
607
00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:10,990
than putting on an act?
608
00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:14,226
Well, like the man says,
honey, you live and learn.
609
00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:15,695
Mhm.
610
00:23:15,795 --> 00:23:17,263
I wish you'd learn not
to give the children
611
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:18,965
such dangerous toys.
612
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,933
What's so dangerous
about those toys?
613
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:24,704
Ah, well, honey,
fingerpaints for Linda?
614
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,473
Do you know that, to
Linda, fingerpaints
615
00:23:26,573 --> 00:23:30,209
means painting everything
she can get her fingers on?
616
00:23:30,309 --> 00:23:31,444
Herself, the walls,
other people?
617
00:23:31,544 --> 00:23:32,745
All right, all right.
So?
618
00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:33,580
It washes off.
619
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,114
And a water pistol for Rusty?
620
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:36,115
Really?
621
00:23:36,215 --> 00:23:37,349
What's the matter with that?
622
00:23:37,450 --> 00:23:39,752
What's the matter with that?
623
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:42,321
Well, it's a very dangerous
weapon in Rusty's hands.
624
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,289
A water pistol?
625
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:44,190
Yes.
626
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:45,057
So he squirts somebody?
627
00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:46,493
There's a big deal.
628
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:47,827
So they get a little
water on them.
629
00:23:47,927 --> 00:23:49,462
That's nothing.
It isn't gonna hurt anything.
630
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:50,863
Well, I don't wanna
quarrel with you, honey.
631
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,665
I'm not quarreling
about it, dear.
632
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,100
So you get a little
water on you.
633
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,067
Here, go ahead.
Squirt me.
634
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,068
Oh,
635
00:23:56,168 --> 00:23:57,203
I want you to squirt me.
636
00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:58,270
So I'll get a little wet.
So what?
637
00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,472
I won't drown.
638
00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:00,607
I assure you, I won't
catch pneumonia.
639
00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:01,641
It's nothing dangerous.
Go ahead.
640
00:24:01,741 --> 00:24:02,441
Squirt me.
Go ahead.
641
00:24:02,542 --> 00:24:03,576
Go on, huh?
642
00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,177
Oh, honey, I just
feel ridiculous.
643
00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,714
Please, squirt me, will you?
644
00:24:07,814 --> 00:24:08,380
Come on!
645
00:24:08,481 --> 00:24:09,248
I don't want to.
646
00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:10,349
I'll squirt you, then.
647
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:11,651
No, Danny, don't you dare!
648
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:12,619
I'll squirt myself.
649
00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:14,053
There, there, there, there.
650
00:24:14,153 --> 00:24:15,722
All over, there.
651
00:24:15,822 --> 00:24:16,956
Big deal.
652
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:17,990
I got a little water on me,
squirted a little water.
653
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:18,825
So what?
654
00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:23,730
I struck oil!
655
00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:29,969
Rusty!
46454
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