Original subtitles

Yeah, honey, Rockridge, Rockridge, West Virginia.

Yeah, a little roadside restaurant.

No, we're driving on through.

I'll see you tomorrow, baby.

Oh, the show was great, real great.

Of course I got to get a new girl singer.

No, she wasn't bad.

She was good, too good.

Some TV producer saw her and gave

her a chance for a big spec.

And I didn't want to stand in the way.

So I let her out.

I'll get somebody else.

Benny's right here.

Hi, Kathy.

Did you hear him?

Yeah, I love you too, dear.

What do you mean are we behaving ourselves?

Of course we are.

Oh, get off my lap Mabel.

It's Rosie's turn.

You know better-- huh?

Oh he's kidding.

All right, sweetie.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Goodbye.

What are you trying to do, wreck my married life?

I didn't want you to stay on the phone all night.

You know, I just thought of somebody

to replace that girl singer.

Yeah, who is she?

Me.

Not before I eat, huh.

What's the matter?

Didn't I do the Mississippi Mud number.

Oh, come on.

(SINGING) When the sun goes down and the tide goes up,

gather round and they all begin to shout.

Oh, hey, hey, Uncle Dud.

It's a treat to get your feet on the Mississippi Mud.

It's a treat to get your--

Are you the ham on rye?

No, I'm the salami under glass.

Can I have some potato chips, please.

You know what, you're kidding but, you could fill in there.

You really could fill in there.

Of course--

If you want to do Mississippi Mud, I mean,

don't throw it away.

Give it a little bounce.

(SINGING) Oh when the sun goes down, the tide goes out--

All the way.

Folks gather round and they all begin to shout.

Hey, hey, I say that, Uncle Bud, it's a--

What's the matter?

Have you got any potato chips?

Oh sure, we got lots of potato chips.

Well what are you shaking your head for?

I was just trying to figure out what you was doing.

Figure out?

I was singing.

Oh, I figured it was something like that.

But I wasn't sure though.

Just a minute, my good man.

Do you realize who you have for a customer

in this hash house of yours?

Nope.

Why this place may become a shrine when the news gets out.

You'll put up a sign, Danny Williams got sick here.

Danny Williams?

I thought that would make you sit up.

Well, I'm happy to make your acquaintance, Mr. Williams.

Him, not me.

How are you?

Howdy.

You mean to tell me you never heard of Danny Williams

the famous nightclub entertainer?

Oh, saloon worker, huh?

Sit down. Sit down.

Don't mind Benny.

He's just trying to tell you that I'm an entertainer.

Well now, that's a coincidence.

You know my wife Elsie's sort of an entertainer.

Is that so?

Well she certainly sings better than what I just heard.

Well, I don't just sing.

I make the people laugh.

Oh, well I can understand them laughing at your singing

all right.

Why you--

Benny, let him alone.

What do you care?

Well he's been bouncing off about his wife

being a great singer.

Well she certainly sings better than him.

Well, where I come from they have a little saying.

Well say it, boy.

Put up or shut up.

Elsie.

Sing for these here city fellows.

Oh, I'm busy in the kitchen.

I got some hush puppies a-frying.

Well let 'em fry.

I told this fellow that you could

sing better than that fellow.

And this fellow here, he up and chose me,

the one with the plucked head.

So you go ahead and show 'em.

Oh, I don't want to.

But I'm mighty proud that you're proud of me.

Oh, it ain't pride.

It's just that I know you can sing better than they can.

Now if it had been a hog contest,

I'd have brought in Myrtle.

Myrtle's my prize hog.

Oh.

You ready to go, Elsie.

Let her flicker, Judd.

(SINGING) Just cause you think you're so pretty.

Just cause you think you're so hot.

You ain't so hot, boy.

Just cause you think you got something

that nobody else has got.

You ain't got a doggone thing.

Now folks said I spent all your money, said I called you old

Santa Claus.

I'm telling you, Hank, I'm leaving

you because, just because.

What do you say, how about-- how

about giving that box another kick

and singing some more, huh?

Oh, thank you.

But I can't do it.

I got to get back to my hush puppies.

Well wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Benny I got a great idea.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Exactly what you're thinking.

Forget about the Mississippi Mud.

How would you like to sing professionally?

Yes.

Oh, you're spoofing me.

No I'm not.

I can use you in my show at the Copacabana.

Copacabaner?

I guess you've never heard of it.

But take my word for it.

It's one of the top spots in the country, real plush,

inside plumbing and everything.

Oh well, it tain't that.

It's just that Judd needs me here.

Don't you, Judd?

Well--

Well I just couldn't go running off

and leave him to run things by hisself.

He couldn't get along without me.

Could you, Judd?

Well--

He could tell hisself that he needs me, 'ceptin he's bashful.

I ain't bashful.

Judd, who'd do the cooking if I was to go traipsing off?

Well I reckon I'd have to hire me somebody.

Well, would be different working with a hired girl.

'Tain't like working with your own wife.

Elsie, I ain't never interfered with anything

you ever wanted to do.

And I ain't going to start now.

Like I said, I'd hire me somebody.

Now you do what you want to do.

I'm pleased to meet you all.

Hey, but wait a minute.

Now you know it's out of the question.

Well look at all the money it would take,

the bus fare to New York, and the hotel,

and some fancy clothes, and well,

you'd even have to sell Myrtle.

Sell Myrtle?

She can't go mister.

I can't live without that hog.

My Judd's a great joker, you know.

Look, uh-- OK, bye bye.

Holy Toledo, some agent I got.

Six days and he still hasn't come up with an and

to fill in for the Copa.

Oh, honey, he'll find someone for you.

Yeah, but when?

Well--

Howdy, Mr. Williams.

Hello.

Elsie, Elsie Hooper, remember?

Of course I remember.

Come in.

Come in, Elsie.

What on earth are you doing in New York?

Well I come to New York to be a singer like you said.

Oh?

Well, dear, this is the girl from West Virginia

I was telling you all about.

My wife, Kathy.

Well howdy.

Howdy, I mean hello.

Why don't you sit down, Elsie.

Sit down.

I'm sure glad to see you.

How on earth did you find me?

Well, I went to that Copacabana you told me about.

And the owner told me where you lived.

Oh, you talked to the owner?

Yeah, he was standing right out there

in the front, big tall feller.

Had on a gorgeous uniform, gold braid on the shoulders

and everything.

Elsie, excuse me for laughing.

Um, but that wasn't the owner.

He just works there.

See, you asked the doorman.

The doorman?

Hoo, if'n that was the doorman, the owner must

be a ring-tail lollapaloozer.

I'm surprised that you came to New York after all.

Well, I'll tell you Mr. Williams, after you left I kind

of got to thinking that if'n a man didn't need me

no more than Judd seemed to need me,

there wasn't much point in staying on.

So I decided to come up here and sing in your show.

You sure you want to do this, Elsie?

I mean, what's going to happen to your marriage?

Oh well, that ain't your worry, Mr Williams.

All I want to know from you is, did

you really mean what you said about using me in your act?

Of course I meant it.

Well good, then it's a deal.

Well, got to be finding myself a place to stay.

They, I hear, got pretty good rooms

up at that boarding house, the Waldorf Astory.

Judd must have got a pretty big price when he sold Myrtle, huh?

Sell Myrtle?

Hoo, that'd be the day.

He'd sooner sell hisself.

The Waldorf, that's a pretty fancy place, you know.

Yeah, I hear tell they dog it up pretty good

up there, sheets top and bottom and all.

Oh, but I ain't worried.

I brung over $13 with me.

Saved up my egg money.

Elsie, why don't you stay here with us.

We'd love to have you.

Oh now, I couldn't do that.

I wouldn't want to impose.

Oh it wouldn't be an imposition.

As a matter of fact, our daughter Terry

is away at school.

And you can use her room.

Gee, that's a great idea and very sweet of you, dear.

No argument.

You're going to stay with us.

We got sheets top and bottom here too.

Well, all right, but I'm going to pay the first week's

rent in advance now.

Oh, you'll do no such thing.

You're our guest.

Come on, I'll show you your room.

This way.

Well, you know, that's mighty nice of you folks.

But I-- now Iook, I'm a gonna help

out with the bread baking and the mattress airing every day.

This way.

Hoo, would you look at all them lights.

Must take a heap of electricity to keep them a burning.

Oh, they call it the Great White Way.

The lights on Broadway are on all night.

Well you'd think the last one to go home would turn them off.

Daddy's little girl, Russ, say good night to everybody.

Good night.

Aw good night, you two young'uns.

You two are cuter than a couple of bald headed opossums.

You talk funny.

Linda.

Oh, honey, where I come from you talk funny.

Then I guess we're even.

Here. , Monkey.

Come on.

Good night, Russ.

Good night.

Oh I almost forgot.

Goodnight, Kathy.

-You certainly did. -Yes.

Come on Uncle Benny.

There's just time to read a fairy tale before I go to bed.

Oh now, Rusty, don't bother Uncle Benny.

Maybe he doesn't feel like reading a fairy story tonight.

It's no bother.

I read it to him.

Come on.

Aw, they're so cute.

Mrs. Williams, you sure have got an affectionate family.

Oh, I know.

It's just one continuous mad love affair.

Gosh, wish my Judd was more like that.

But he's more the foot shuffling,

cheek pecking type of lover.

Did you hear from, Judd this week?

No, I wrote to him.

I told him I was staying here with you folks

and I give him the address.

Is that all you wrote?

Well it wasn't no use to write no more.

But after all, he's my husband.

And he's got a right to know where I am.

Well, if he misses me, he knows where to find me.

Don't look like he's doing much missing though.

Reckon he just don't need me.

Oh, I'm sure he needs you, Elsie.

He just doesn't know how to say it.

Oh, sure he knows how to say it.

I've heard him say it to Myrtle.

Oh, I don't care.

Hey, you know something?

Hoo, I'm beginning to feel more at home here

in New York every day.

Oh, good.

Some ways I feel like I just never left West Virginie.

Oh?

Yeah, especially when I seen all them people going down

to work in the mines every day.

In the mines?

Yeah, down at the corner.

Down at the corner?

Oh, Elsie, that's the subway.

You know, I thought they was dressed

a might fancy for digging.

(SINGING) Smile, darn you smile.

You know this old world is a great world after all.

Hey, smile, darn you smile.

And Lady Luck's sure to pay a call.

You know, things are never black as they are painted.

Time for you and joy to get acquainted.

So make life worthwhile.

Come on and smile, darn you, smile.

Here's one that ought to make you smile.

La da di da da da dum.

Will the owner of the car please, license number 2 9 7 L

4 4 3 1 hyphen X 5 5 6 6 7 N O O 2 hyphen 4, please

move your car.

You license plate is blocking the road.

(SINGING) Smile pretty.

Things are not bad as they're painted.

Time for you and joy to get acquainted.

So make life worthwhile.

Come on and smile, darn you, smile.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Please, please.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Tonight is not my night.

Tonight I want to present a discovery

of mine. ladies and gentlemen, I know you're going to love.

She's from West Virginia.

The state of West Virginia is famous for a lot of things.

But from tonight on, the state of West Virginia

is going to be best known for Elsie Hooper.

Let's bring her on.

What do you say?

(SINGING) Rome wasn't built in a day.

You had to pay for what you get.

I will be here when you find me.

So come and find me, my little pet.

(SINGING IN A HIGH SOPRANO VOICE)

(YODELING)

(SINGING) I can't give you anything but love,

ba- a- hay- e- way- he- by.

That's the only thing I've plenty

of for my tootsie honey baby.

Dream awhile, scheme awhile.

You're sure to find, Girl, you're

sure to find a happy soul.

And I guess all those things you've always wanted for.

Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell, baby.

Diamond bracelets Woolworth's doesn't

sell well well well baby.

Till that lucky day, you know darn well, baby.

I can't you give you anything but-- has

anybody here seen my honey?

My little honey, wunny, wunny, wunny?

Oh, I can't give my honey anything

but ho ha ha ha ha love.

Thank you, folks.

And now I'd like to dedicate my next song

to a rock-headed friend of mine in Rockridge.

(SINGING) I don't know why I love you like I do.

I don't know why, but I do.

I don't know why you thrill me like you do.

I don't know why.

You just do.

You never seem to want my romancing.

The only time you hold me is when we're dancing.

I don't know why I love you like I do.

I don't know why.

I just do.

I don't know why I love you like I do.

I don't know why, but I do.

I don't know why you thrill me like you do.

I don't know why.

You just do.

You never seem to want my romancing.

Do you know, the only time you hold me is when we're dancing?

I don't know why I love you like I do.

I don't know why, but I do, darling.

I don't know why.

I just do.

Oh, darling, it was a wonderful show.

I can't wait to read the reviews.

Why do you have to read the reviews?

Did you hear that audience?

They loved Elsie. Didn't they?

-Oh, she was great. -Hey, by the way, where is she?

We've got a table at Sardi's.

Oh, honey, she's dressing. She'll be here in just a minute.

Oh good.

Hey, hey.

Well now, pick me up and drop me down.

Elsie, is that really you?

Oh, it's me all right.

Do you like it?

Hey, where'd you get that gorgeous dress?

Hoo, I bought it yesterday.

I kind of put it away.

I figured I'd only bring it out it

I made it halfway good tonight.

But I made up with the man that i could

it back if I couldn't use it.

You can use that and dozens more like it.

Didn't you hear that audience tonight.

You're a smash.

Oh, we're so happy for you, Elsie.

It must be like a dream come true.

Oh, I got more than I ever dreamed of.

Hoo hoo.

To think of all the time I wasted slinging hash.

But I aim to make up for it.

Yes sirree, no going back to Rockridge for me.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to get myself my own apartment.

I'm going to start going to the beauty parlor every week.

And I'm going to buy me one of them furs with the head

and tail still on it.

Yes sirree, bobtail.

One of these days I might even go out to Hollywood

and have my own swimming pool in the shape of a sweet potater.

I'm going to have myself the rip roaringest snortinest

good time that you were ever--

Howdy, Elsie.

Well, Judd, I didn't know you was a coming.

You never wrote nor nothing.

No, I know.

I seen you singing out there, Elsie.

I give a fellow half a dollar to let me watch from the kitchen.

Those people out there, boy, they sure

thought you were pretty good.

What did you think, Judd?

Oh, it was just like the county fair again.

Yep.

Yeah?

Yeah, well I just come to congratulate you, Elsie.

So congratulations.

Thank you, Judd.

You're welcome, Elsie.

Well I said what I come to say.

So bye, Elsie.

Is that all?

Well, there was something else.

But I reckon it's too late.

Maybe not.

What was it?

Well, uh, well the folks out in Rockridge, they--

they kind of miss you a lot.

They do?

Yep.

Anybody else miss me?

Well, now that you're asking, the customers ask for you.

They do?

Yeah, they ask.

Is that all?

Boy, you sure can pump a man, Elsie.

Well the-- the place kind of needs you.

It does?

Oh for crying out loud.

How much of this do you think I can take?

Now you guys kill me.

You'll just yell your lungs out yelling for the hogs,

but when it comes to raising your voice a little to tell

your wife what she wants to hear, all of a sudden you

get laryngitis. You can get it up.

Now a minute mister.

I can raise my voice as loud as the next one.

Is that so?

And I don't need you to help Jack it up either.

Yeah

Yeah.

Well let me hear something.

All right, I'll say it.

Elsie, I need you.

He said it.

He said it.

Right in front of witnesses.

He sure did.

Well let's not just stand here.

You're going to get on that bus.

Let's stop him.

Judd.

Judd, I'm awful glad to see you.

Well thanks.

Hey, wait a minute.

Where'd you get the money to come up here?

Well how do you think?

Dang it.

I sold Myrtle.